What do you do when someone you love is overwhelmed and their emotions start to overwhelm you? Alejandra Siroka takes on a familiar dynamic: one partner is in distress, and the other feels pulled into that emotional current, unsure how to stay present without getting swept away. It starts with a question from a listener named Sekani, who describes getting anxious when his girlfriend feels anxious about politics. He wants to show up with care and compassion, but instead, he ends up in reactive mode.
Alejandra offers a clear explanation for what’s happening here. It’s called emotional entanglement, and it’s incredibly common. Our brains are wired to connect to one another, so when someone close to us is hurting, our system often jumps in automatically. But could there be a way to stay close without taking it all on?
Through this episode, Alejandra shares five tools to help you pause, reconnect with your intention, and stay grounded when emotions run high. She also offers a distinction between having a role and holding an intention, one that can shift the tone of your relationships in a meaningful way.
How do you know when it’s the right time to share your own experience? What helps you avoid rushing to fix things that aren’t yours to solve? And how do cultural differences shape the way we express and interpret bog feelings? If you’ve ever found yourself in a moment where love and overwhelm are tangled together, Alejandra will give you language and presence to navigate it with more clarity.
Quotes
- “This is where transformation happens. When you notice yourself getting activated by your partner’s emotions, that’s your cue to pause and acknowledge your trigger.” (09:32 | Alejandra Siroka)
- “Oftentimes, when people are going through these big feelings, they need our presence more than our suggestions or solutions. They need our witnessing more than our fixing. And they need our connection more than our actions.” (11:19 | Alejandra Siroka)
- “Intention comes from within. It is an inner invitation to stretch yourself and tap into your motivation and capacity.” (13:41 | Alejandra Siroka)
- “You could say to yourself, ‘your storm is not my storm. I am a lighthouse.’ This beautiful metaphor reminds you to stay steady while the other person is going through various emotions” (17:21 | Alejandra Siroka)
- “Sometimes, despite our best intentions and our best choice of tools, conversations don’t devolve into fights. This is a possibility. But this doesn’t mean that you have failed. No, it just means you are human.” (23:53 | Alejandra Siroka)
Links
Episode 137. Saying Sorry Is Not Enough: How To Have A Repair Conversation
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148560398
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