Episode Transcript
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Welcome back, welcome back to the, well, I guess this isn't the laughing matters podcast
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because this is while it's on the podcast, this is the first episode of could play being
brought to audio format.
This is my best friend, Martin and I playing AI dungeon together.
As you may recall, we were going to do a, another channel called could play that was
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going to generate some revenue so that I could hire an editor and pay for web site costs
and all that.
But instead I went the route of starting a Patreon.
So if you are still interested in helping the show, please, please, I encourage you
to head over to patreon.com slash I could help because I could use the help at any rate.
I won't the harangue about that.
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But if you haven't subscribed to the podcast yet, that definitely helps and then helps
you find out when we got new stuff coming out.
I has, as you may have noticed, we were a little inconsistent there.
I'm going to try to be a bit more consistent with the podcast material.
Now at any rate, I thought you guys would enjoy checking out the first episode since
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it is primarily a audio only episode.
However, there are some pretty great video elements in the video version.
So head over to youtube.com slash could help to check those out.
I posted the could play episode on the could help channel just because, well, as you probably
already know, the could play channel is dead for the moment.
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Yeah, I said for the moment, there's something being talked about right now, but we won't
go into that right now for right now.
Just enjoy what we have.
This episode turned out to be way funnier than I expected.
I must have listened to it like 40 times while I was doing the video edit because the first
like seven, eight minutes of it, we weren't even rolling the video for it.
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So I had to go in there and create video elements for the whole thing.
And that took a while.
But anyways, I think you guys will enjoy it.
I think you'll dig on it.
It's basically a short form D&D game that you input commands just like you did on the
old Commodore 64 versions of these types of games.
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And the AI generates the story around it.
It was it was a lot of fun to play.
And I think you guys will dig it.
So without further ado, let's get to it.
This is AI Dungeon with Will and Martin.
OK, so just play.
We're just going to play.
OK, Martin, we're playing AI Dungeon.
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All right.
This is generated by a procedural AI and.
Yeah, I need your character's name, sir.
My character name.
Hoteb.
You can even type in the Hoteb like Bubba.
Bubba Hoteb.
Yeah.
You want Hoteb or you want I think I want Bubba Hoteb.
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Bubba Hoteb.
All right.
Because why not?
All right.
It's generating the story now, Martin.
OK, part is complete.
Yay, I can shoot you dead.
OK, here we go.
Oh, man.
OK.
Oh, you want Bubba Hoteb.
Sorry.
You are Babas Hoteb.
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I like that.
I had to put my little on spin on that.
There we go.
Babas Hoteb.
A noble living in the kingdom of Larian.
You are awakened by a loud noise outside the gate.
Bam!
You look out the window and you see a large number of orcish troops at the road outside
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the castle.
Your squire comes in with your sword and shield and helps you prepare for battle.
Meanwhile, your guard commander tells you that there are over 100 orcs in the town of
Lahr lying just outside the castle's gates.
On the other side is a wood with 50 orcish troops in it led by an orc called Ironbark.
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Ooh.
What do you do?
Well, I think the logical thing to do here is I think we're going to have to fight those
guys in the courtyard with their iron bars.
OK, so what do I type?
Um, you just got to type the sentence in there.
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I mean, what do you do?
Specifically tell me what do you do?
Like do you grab?
OK, so squire comes in with your sword and shield and helps prepare you for battle.
So you are prepared for battle.
You have 50 orcish troops on the other side of Lahr that are led by Ironbark.
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And then you have over 100 orcs in town of Lahr lying just outside the castle's gates.
Oh geez.
Wow, this seems like yeah, this seems like like a high pressure first decision.
How about this?
How about this?
I'm a back out of this.
I'm going to let us let it generate something else that it can ease into.
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OK, uh.
All right, sorry to put in your character's name.
It's migrating over, but I couldn't remember exactly what it was.
You are Bilbo Hot Ticket.
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I want some of that second practice.
A noble living in the kingdom of Larian.
You are awakened by a loud noise outside the gate.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on.
This is totally different.
You look out the window and see a large number of orcish troops on the road outside the castle.
Your squire comes in with your sword and shield and helps you prepare for battle.
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Meanwhile, your guard commander tells you that there is no time to prepare a defense.
The orcs will undoubtedly break down the gate in minutes.
You have to decide whether to stand with them or return to the relative safety of the castle.
So, you know, we're able to get a slightly less high pressure situation.
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They basically laid it out.
They're like, decide whether to stand with them.
OK, or you can go back to the castle.
Martin, which one you want to do?
I think I think we're going to go to speedrun option here and we're going to go.
We're going to go stand.
Hurl myself.
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OK, we're going to go.
OK, what am I typing?
No, I like the hurl.
Hurl myself.
At the front gate.
Martin, sorry.
Look, I know that that will shortly be revealed here.
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Declare wrath upon all my enemies.
But they are outside the gate trying to break down the gate.
If you are inside the gate and you hurl yourself at said gate.
Hurl myself at the gate.
OK, no.
OK, we got this.
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I will tell my foes I am a god.
You hurl yourself at the gate.
OK.
You rush at the orcs outside the castle gate, but all of them are.
So apparently you made it through the gate.
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You rush the orcs outside the castle gate, but all of them are already focused on the
gate.
They chop at the wood and push it to the ground, stepping over it as they rush into the courtyard,
made somewhat easier by a human sized hole in the center of the gate.
And then they rush into the courtyard.
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What do you do?
Well, the first thing I say is, jeez, I wonder who put that man sized hole in the gate there.
Say, jeez.
Are we going to type that?
I wonder who put that man sized hole there.
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It's a thought serious issue, and I think we should get down to it.
You say, jeez, I wonder who put that man sized hole there.
Don't you know?
Seeing no orc in sight, you decide to look elsewhere.
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You go up to a soldier lying near the gate and ask him.
Okay, so we ask where the orcs are, or do we have to repeat ourselves?
I thought we just asked him.
Who put that man sized hole in the door?
Was it you?
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Because it must so certainly not be.
Say, who put?
It gave us no idea what we're talking about.
Your question catches the soldier shoulder.
The shoulder.
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It is so early in the morning.
Okay.
Shoulder, shoulder, soldier, shoulder.
Your question catches the soldier by surprise.
I don't know, he says.
Somebody must have done it pretty recently.
I don't remember it being like that earlier.
Accused soldier of putting man sized hole in the door.
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I'm sorry, I had to hijack that momentarily.
The soldier glares up at you and then pushes you aside and gets off the floor.
Good for you, buddy.
You made it through.
I knew that depression spell.
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Could be solved with a lust for orc blood.
This is how you micromanage, dude.
How do you know it's not from antidepressant magic?
It also could be from blood loss from the orcs that just came through and smashed your
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door.
I think you're the one who really wants to see orc blood in this scenario.
I'm done taking over for a moment.
I'm sorry.
I just had to jump in on that.
I mean, hey, put it in.
Okay.
I put you good for you, buddy.
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I didn't even look at what I was typing.
You turn to one of your men and ask if they've seen the orcs yet.
No, but I'm worried.
Wait, no, that's you.
No, but wait, you.
Huh?
Okay.
All right.
You turn to one of your...
Does Bruno Mars is gay?
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Okay.
You turn to one of your men and ask if he's seen the orc yet.
No, but I'm not worried.
You reply.
It was me.
It was me the whole time.
They can't break down this gate.
We're well prepared.
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Except for this oddly man-shaped hole in the middle of it.
So the gate is repaired itself.
Or I don't know.
I'm guessing this guy just hasn't turned around yet.
I mean, he was laying there.
He doesn't strike me as somebody who scans the horizon often.
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All right, Martin, this is your go.
What do we do?
Do we want to find the orcs?
I think we do.
Okay.
I want to...
They are no match for Xenius.
You use sand on...
Yes, I am the pro-deaf-to-orcs party.
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Our platform is make them all suffer.
Okay.
So you use sand falling from your fist to determine wind...
Wood resistance?
Velocity.
And accidentally stumble upon the orcs who were comedically right behind you.
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The whole time.
The whole time.
Oh, what a twist.
Bye!
All right, let's see how it handles this.
You use sand falling from your fist to determine wind velocity and accidentally stumble upon
the orcs who were comedically right behind the whole time.
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You look up in time to see the orcs running out of the gate and then you turn back to
look for your men.
Which I'm supposing me is to refer to the one guy who was lounging when you came across
him.
Yeah, I don't know if we can hold...
I need a hero!
And he just is lounging there.
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Stop accusing...
Like not accusing, but definitely saying that he didn't create the hole in the wall, which
I don't believe.
The door.
Okay, so where do we go from here, Martin?
We're directing this.
Okay.
Well, I'm still noticing how we haven't killed any orcs yet.
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Okay, well, here they are.
They were comedically behind you the whole time.
I don't know how you caught that part.
Yes, they are.
So I guess I have to turn around and draw my sword and get that sweet sweet orc blood.
I turn around and draw my sword, which is one action.
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Yes, okay.
Let's treat it respectfully, you know.
Is this version four?
I don't play version four.
I turn around and draw my sword as my bonus action.
Ah, bonus actions.
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I release...
Nope.
I reeealese a squeaker from the twix.
My buttock.
Oh my god.
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My typing is so terrible in here.
I don't really want to...
You turn around to draw your sword.
As your bonus action, you release a squeaker from the twix to your buttock.
One orc sees you and charges towards you while the rest run around you in a circle.
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The orc reaches you and smacks you in the head with his battle axe.
You are dead.
But you got off a good squeaker before you went.
I felt satisfied with my squeaker.
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I think a good squeaker is like way better than going, oh sh**.