April 20, 2025 • 29 mins
This bonus episode dives back into a conversation with Olivia Howell, who reflects on her journey since sharing their pivotal moment on The Life Shift. We kick things off by discussing how a toxic relationship culminated in a life-altering decision, showcasing the raw reality that sometimes, it’s the smallest moments that lead to the biggest changes. Olivia emphasizes the importance of sharing these experiences, not just for personal healing, but to resonate with others who might be navigating similar struggles. We also touch on the growth in her life, including the successful release of a book and expanding their community, highlighting how embracing change can lead to unexpected opportunities.
The Life Shift Rewind
I’m excited to share bonus episodes from Patreon, where I revisited past guests to discuss what has changed and the value of sharing their stories. Since I currently only have the lower tiers available, I wanted to make these conversations accessible to the public feed. If you'd like to support the show directly, please consider joining the $3 or $5 tier on Patreon – www.patreon.com/thelifeshiftpodcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast.
But I used to have other tiers.
Where people were so generousand were offering additional money
each month to get bonusepisodes and possible winnings of
(00:44):
T shirts and all sorts ofthings. And then I realized a couple
months ago that I wasn't ableto deliver what I wanted to, especially
for those of you that weregiving me the extra money. So right
now we're just kind of doingthe early episodes. You'll always
get those. So if you want tosupport the Life Shift podcast, please
jump over to patreon.comforward/thelifeshiftpod podcast and
you can find that informationthere. But I come on here because
(01:08):
I want to share a series ofthese bonus episodes that I did early
on in the Patreon journey.There are like 20 plus episodes in
which I had bonus recordingswith previous guests. So I would
go back and we would have aconversation about the experience
of sharing their story on theLife Shift podcast. Catch up on anything.
(01:30):
And I think these are superimportant and I know most of them
did not see the light of dayfrom outside of the Patreon. So I'm
going to be dropping theseepisodes. Whatever you're listening
to now is another episode. SoI'm going to use the same intro for
all of them. But here is oneof the bonus episodes with a former
guest from the Life Shiftpodcast. And if you like this, let
(01:52):
me know because I'm thinkingof bringing some of this back and
talking to previous guests asI go into year four. So enjoy this
bonus episode that was oncereleased on the Patreon feed. I'm
Matt Gilhooley and this is theLife Shift Candid conversations about
the pivotal moments that havechanged lives forever.
(02:23):
Hello, Olivia.
Hi. How are you?
Good. It's so weird because wenever talk.
Never. Not at all. And Ididn't have withdrawal symptoms when
you were away for the week andseeing Broadway shows back to back
or anything.
So if you're listening, Oliviawas on episode 75 and I good Number.
(02:43):
I think I just releasedepisode 120, so I'm not quite sure
where life has gone.
I don't know. Yeah, that's.That's a lot of episodes, Matt.
Well, you just passed 102 witha fresh story, so congratulations
with that.
Yeah, yeah, it's a lot. It's alot of work. I'm tired.
Nuts. Yeah, I understand that.We recorded your episode April 28,
(03:05):
2023, and then it came outAugust 15, 2023, and now we are in
March 2024.
Wow. Wow.
You know, it's crazy. And you.You have your story. I feel like
you share your story in somany ways and so many platforms,
and I was just honored thatyou wanted to kind of go through
(03:27):
that journey and in the lifeshift format, if you will, of, like,
what was that, you know, thatsignificant smallest moment we could
pinpoint and determine, like,where did everything change? Because
you had a lot of a buildup.You had a lot of a buildup, but then
there seemingly was a kind oflike a smallish moment. Maybe you
(03:50):
can remind us of what yourmoment was.
Yeah, it was a lot of buildupof a toxic relationship. And then
the moment was cooking dinnerwhen my husband, my ex husband said
he had to leave. Right. Sothat was like it. That was the moment.
You know, you. I'm on a lot ofpodcasts. I love to guest on podcasts,
but you have the uniqueexperience of being my friend as
(04:13):
well. And so not only do youprovide a safe space for people that
they can come and talk on yourpodcast, but I felt doubly safe because
you already kind of knew someof my story. And, you know, I knew
that I could share freelywithout being judged and without
being shamed. And I think todate, I probably have shared more
(04:33):
on your podcast than. Than anyother podcast that I've ever. Including
my own that I've ever talked about.
Well, I. I think it'simportant because your story, although
unique to you, I don't thinkis unique to, unfortunately, to a
lot of people. And, you know,what you guys do with the fresh starts,
you know, and. And a freshstory and just kind of bringing these
(04:56):
stories to light and sharingthat, like, any change in your life
can be a positive one, even ifit stems from something negative.
And I love that reframing andwhat you guys do, you and your sister,
who's also been on thepodcast, sharing another similar
story, unfortunately. And youknow, it's true.
(05:17):
It's true. I was just thinkingabout that this morning, because
divorce is like having A hotmoment right now in the news. I've
been thinking a lot about theway that we talk about divorce, specifically
at Fresh Starts, and I alwayswant people to understand and realize
that there is such abeautiful, positive way to reframe
(05:38):
your divorce. Not that divorceisn't hard. Like, divorce is really
hard. The process is hard. Thehealing is super hard. But so much
of divorce is both. And,right, you can both go through this
really traumatic process andfind joy at the end of it and find
moments of joy within theprocess and feel really, you know,
(05:59):
peaceful with the decisionthat you made. So when you can reframe
divorce as a positive decisionthat you make in your life, which
is hard, and we have a lot ofpeople that will say to us, but what
if it wasn't my decision?Right? And it's never easy to make
a big decision about yourlife, and it's never easy to go through
(06:20):
a legal battle with a personthat you thought you were signing
up to live the rest of yourlife with. Right? Like, nobody's
saying that's easy, but whenwe can reframe divorce as a. As kind
of the second act of our lifeand say, like, okay, now we can make
the decisions for our joy andour children's joy, and we can move
forward. And I'm verysensitive to divorce stories that
(06:45):
are. Right. I would like tosay, like, kind of trapped in the
past. Right. And there's,like, a lot of. A lot, rightfully
so, a lot of anger surroundinga lot of divorce stories. And I was
just thinking this morning,like, I feel like it's okay to remind
people, like, you don't needto be angry forever. Right. Like,
you can. You can move on. Andthat's so much of what we do at Fresh
Starts.
(07:05):
But you also can be angry inthe moment, and you're allowed to
feel sad and angry and allthese emotions because we're human.
And I think that's justnatural. And I think society has
also set up divorce assomething that it's not. And, you
know, I think it's. It'screated, like, this shame. And I
think a lot of that's tied toreligion and. And. And things like
that, but also in the senseof, like, people just change over
(07:29):
their lives, and sometimes youdon't change in the same direction
as the person that you'remarried to, and that's okay. I mean,
relationships before marriageend and change. And so, you know,
I think this contract, if youwill, of. Of marriage kind of changes
perspective, but it's reallyno different It's.
It's wild when you actuallytake a second to think about it,
(07:49):
right? Because you havedifferent friends your whole life.
You have friendships that endand friendships that start and friendships
that ebb and flow. And yetwe're culturally told, but also,
you have to find the oneperson you're going to spend the
rest of your life with. Andjust because we're, you know, really,
historically, it's aheterosexual marriage to have children.
Right. And propagate the, youknow, universe. But, you know, why.
(08:13):
Why do we shame people forwanting to change that relationship
or transition into a divorce?Because the relationship doesn't
end, especially if you havechildren. It just transitions into
a different kind ofrelationship. And so, you know, it's.
It's wild that we kind of havedecided that this box people have
to live in. I mean, I knowyou're all about that, that those
check boxes and all thosethings, right. It's like, yes, we
(08:34):
can have colleagues that, youknow, come and go and friends that
come and go, but you have tofind one person.
So weird.
Yeah, it's a very weirdconcept. Yeah.
But, I mean, I guess it's notprobably going anywhere. So I love
that you guys are putting intothe world that, like, this can be
a fresh start in a positiveway. Of course there is going to
be quote, unquote, baggage orare things that come with it, but
(08:57):
you don't have to carry thatforever. There are things that you
can let go eventually when youare ready. And I. And to that point,
I know you don't listen to alot of the episodes of shows that
you're on, but I know that youdid listen to this one. How did you
feel listening to you tellyour own story in this way?
Well, it's funny you say that,because we were just on a podcast
yesterday, and my whole familywas like, it was so good. And I was
(09:19):
like, I didn't listen to it,but I do listen. I listened to your
podcast and I listened to. Ilistened to this episode. Well, first
of all, I think the. Thenumber one thing that came up for
me was how well you hold spacefor people. I just have to put that
on you for a second because Ithink the people that come on wouldn't
feel safe, wouldn't sharetheir stories if it wasn't for the
atmosphere you set. So thatwas the number one takeaway that
(09:43):
I had. But I think again, likeyou said, my story is not that unique.
And so it's important for meto be honest about it and share it
on a platform that I knowother people who listen to your podcast
would maybe learn somethingor, you know, you probably get an
audience of people that wantto dig deep into these conversations.
(10:04):
And so I was really happy,obviously, with the way that the
episode came out. I thought itwas beautiful. I think you set a
tone of such calm and peace,and so it made it easy to be calm
and share my story andremember every part that I had to
remember. And I love that itwas centered around this one moment,
(10:26):
which did change my life. And,you know, with divorce, especially,
because divorce can go on fora long time, and the process is long,
and you kind of have thesedifferent milestones that you go
through with divorce. Youknow, like the moment that he decides
to leave, and then the momenthe actually does leave, and then
the moment you sign yourpapers. Right. And so I love that
you kind of forced me to pickthat one moment and work up to that.
(10:49):
I think it's alwaysinteresting to. I hear this from
other people, and I wonder ifyou experience this as. Sometimes
we tell our stories, but wealways tell it in chunks, like, And.
And they're little chunkshere, but we don't really tell it
from here to here, or, like,beginning to not end, but a particular
ending. And so, like, when Ilistened to my own episode that I
had my friend, guest host, itwas so interesting to hear it from
(11:14):
that perspective. And I wonderif telling your story in that long
space was a little weird for you.
I think it was. It was cool.It was cool to kind of see it from,
like, an overhead point ofview. I am a clinical hypnotherapist,
and one of the activities. Oneof the modalities I do with people
is called time techniques. Andyou kind of go into this hypnotic
(11:34):
space, and you go up aboveyour timeline of your life, and you
get to rearrange things,because everything is just a story.
Like, spoiler alert.Everything about us is just a story.
We can rewrite those stories.And so it was kind of reminded me
of that. Right. It's like youget to float above your timeline
and see their story in kind ofthis big chunk. And it is. It's really
(11:54):
cool to see that it's.
Unique for you because thisis, like, a lot of my guests maybe
haven't told their storybefore, but your whole business is
really because of your story.And so most people that probably
listened to this episode haveheard your story in some way. Did
you get any feedback fromanyone that was, like, kind of unique
(12:15):
or stood out to you?
I mean, I definitely didBecause I think that it was the first
time I told it in. In itsentirety, like you said. And so I
had a lot of people that werelike, you know, I didn't know these
parts of the story or, like,that made sense. Like, once, you
know, kind of I put the wholething together. And it's interesting
telling my story, too, becauseI always am very aware that I'm telling
(12:37):
my story and not anybodyelse's story. And so, you know, it's
interesting to really see it,like, from the whole story, from
my perspective. And I thinkother people really enjoyed learning
more about. Like, I don'tshare. You know, I. It's funny. I'm
a very much an open book, andI share everything on social media.
Like, I talk about everything,except I don't always share parts
(13:01):
of this particular story. AndI don't know if it's a conscious
thing because, like, I save itfor podcasts or my book someday or
whatever. I also think. Idon't know. As public as I am, there's
parts of the story that arereally hard to talk about. And so
it's good to have a safe spaceto do that.
There's a lot of hard parts ofa lot of people's stories, and I
think the more that we shareours, the more safe other people
(13:26):
feel sharing theirs. Because,like you said, where all of our lives
are a story, right? Andthere's not always. It's not always
going to be up at the top. Youknow, we're not always going to be
at these hills and thesemountains and these wonderful things
that we can celebrate. Infact, a lot of the time, or most
of the time, we're on the waydown trying to, like, figure out
how to get back up. And Ithink those are the places in which
(13:48):
we can relate to each otherthe most. Right. And so, you know,
hopefully we start flippingthis more so that not to say that
we want to, like, telleveryone our dirty laundry and everything
is terrible and the wholeworld is falling apart, which may.
It may be, but I think thoseare the moments in which we can relate
to each other the most andthen find hope when one of us or
(14:10):
a couple of us start to findour way back up 100.
You have to hear otherpeople's stories to know that you
can make it through your ownstory, too. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's been a whilesince we've recorded what's changed
in your life since April 2023.
Okay. So since almost a yearago. Well, we released a book that
(14:31):
we love called simple scriptsto support your people. And then
four months later with thebook did very well. We self published
the book, but it sold over 700copies, which is like unheard of
for a self published book infour months. And then four months
later, Ish, a literary agentdropped into our laps and we are
(14:52):
working on a book proposal forhim. But he, we had to pull our original
book off the market so wecould work on this other book because
of book bureaucracy things. Sowe actually have put all the scripts
on the website. So there's now200 scripts for free up on fresh
starts registry.com and Idon't know what else is happening.
(15:13):
I mean, so many things. Wehave amazing experts. We now have
about 120plus experts in ourexpert community. We're growing it
very quickly. I don't know,we're just constantly. We, we had
a podcast cohort. I don'tknow, just a lot. It's a lot. It's
all good things. Yeah, yeah.
And it's happening reallyrapidly. Your kids are growing quickly
(15:36):
and they.
Are, I know this summerthey'll be 11 and 8, which is like
crazy. I don't know.
Yeah, it's, you know, and Ithink it's, it's something to be
said. Like you said like your,your company is not just about divorce.
Right. The company is aboutFresh Starts, naturally. There's
a lot of talk going on nowabout divorce and how this, the millennials
(15:57):
are going to start to getdivorced in a more rapid rate. Like
we're, we're gonna see ahigher amount coming soon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And our bookis not about divorce. Our book that
we're writing right now, nowis about Fresh Starts. And so, you
know, we see a lot of peoplewho come to Fresh Starts for so many
things right now we have a lotof job loss, a lot of job change.
(16:17):
W Who just want some sort ofchange in their life. Right. That,
that life.
I think the pandemic broughtit to.
The pandemic brought out alot. You know, it's interesting because
now we're four year this week.Right. Four years post pandemic launch.
And I think people are kind ofjust trying figuring stuff out now
of like, wait, I actuallydon't want to be in this relationship
(16:40):
or this job or this place. Youknow, we get a lot of people that
are making big moves. So somuch of what we do at Fresh Starts
and what our book is about isreally like giving people the permission,
right. To like make these bigdecisions on their own, which is
scary.
Proud about them.
Yeah. And like, to get tofigure out the journey forward. Right.
As you make these decisionsand how to get where you want to
(17:03):
go.
Yeah. I think you take thestigma out of a lot of these big
changes, I think even changesthat maybe on the surface don't seem
shameful or things that peoplewant to hide. They still do. Because
I think we're conditioned in asense that we want other people to
approve of what we're doing ornot. Doubtless.
It's interesting, too, Matt,because now that you say that, I'm
(17:25):
thinking we have a lot of,like, women especially, that will
come to us, and they're like,I just bought my own house. Like,
do I get to celebrate? Like,do I get a party? Right. I think
we compare everything we do tobabies and weddings. Right. Is it,
how does it stand up to a babyor wedding? Right. Is it enough celebration?
Is it. Do I not talk about it?Right. I graduated my PhD. Whatever
(17:46):
it is, it's like, is that goodenough? And so, so much of what we
do is being like, yes, like,there's so much more to life than
B and weddings. And you'reallowed to celebrate it all, and
you're allowed to have aregistry for it and a party and,
yeah, just giving people their permission.
You can do whatever you want.
There's no rules. There areliterally no rules. This is all made
up. Time is made up. There'sno, there's no, Everything is made
(18:07):
up.
It, I mean, I, I love that.And I think you're putting so much
positivity into the world anddestigmatizing things that shouldn't
have a stigma anyway. And so Ithink as we move forward with it,
I think it's such a, it's awonderful thing for people to consider.
And of course, peoplelistening will include the links
to, to what you do. I'mwondering, like, on the podcast front,
(18:29):
when you're listening, whenyou go to listen, I know you're super
busy and you probably don'thave a lot of time to listen to shows
just in general, what kind ofstories, what kind of stories do
you gravitate towards in anykind of podcast that you listen to?
I love that question. I loveyour podcast. So I love all the stories.
I, I, it's funny, I don'tlisten to as many as I used to. I
listened to, like, a handful.So I'll tell you exactly who I listen
(18:51):
to your podcast I to Time toLean, which is with another one of
our experts, Crystal Britt andour friend Laura Danger. Which is
really focused on domesticequity and talking about household
labor and mental labor. Andit's, it's not necessarily stories,
but they break down a lot oflike TikTok videos and it's interest.
(19:11):
Very interesting. I listen toPop Culture Happy Hour while I usually,
while I'm doing something elsesmart list if it's somebody that
I like. And then that's prettymuch it. Like not a ton of podcasts
right now.
I really, I asked thatquestion because I find that I really
gravitate towards stories thatare very much like my own because
(19:31):
I think I'm curious.
Yes, I listened to. I wasgonna say we had another friend of
ours launch a parentingpodcast, Give it Time, which, But
I, I, you know what I'm gonnasay. I love when I know the people
on the podcasts. Like I, Ireally try to list. I really, really
try to listen to my friendspodcasts or if my friend is on a
podcast, I'll listen. It just,it's exciting, right? It's like,
(19:53):
oh, I know the person or likeI get to support them. And I love
to hear the perspectives ofthe people I love on podcasts. So,
you know. Yeah. But I listento our own podcast as I edit it.
And so it is a lot of podcast.Yeah, a lot of podcasts. You know,
there's a couple other ones,Fine Beats and Cheeses, which is
(20:13):
with our friends LeslieStreeter and Lynn Childress. That's
a pop culture podcast. We justhad them on our podcast because we're
doing a sibling season comingup, which I'm so excited about. It's
exploring the siblingdynamics. And so we're having some
really cool sibling setscoming on and some past guests are
bringing their siblings back.And so we had them on because they're
(20:37):
twins and they had. One ofthem is a widow. And we talked about
how the sisters supported eachother like in that time. So I'm,
I'm. Because Jenny and I, notshockingly, are fascinated by sibling
dynamics. We've. That wasactually, we wanted to do a sibling
podcast before anything elsethat years ago we wanted to have
one that was going to becalled had to Be There and it was
(20:58):
going to be about like growingup together and what that looked
like. And then Kate and OliverHudson stole our podcast idea. So.
But they can come on. Iactually invited them on ours, but
they haven't heard back.
Maybe they will. I'll, I'll,I'll put out some, some feelers out
there for you.
We had, we actually had ourhalf sister come on to our first
episode is with our halfsister, which was a really beautiful
(21:20):
episode and sad andinteresting. And I think people will.
People will really, I think,learn a lot from it because a lot
of people have half siblings,and we don't really talk about how
weird that can be. And so it'sgoing to be the next season is more.
We're calling them FreshConversations because they're not
just fresh stories, but theFresh Start stories, but they're
(21:40):
kind of different topics. Sowe have one about how dating apps
are a scam. We have kind oflike, about a lot of beautiful stories
about marriage, fresh starts,and how you can kind of come back
from slow, low times ofmarriage, which I love. And then
we'll have the sibling seasonand then more conversations. So it's
quick. It's. I mean, you knowhow quickly you kind of book up for
(22:02):
the rest of the year. It'slike, well, there goes that. So now
I just have to edit everything.
Speaking of weird, isn't itweird? I don't know if you're finding
this. I think it's weird thatpeople seem to be more open and free
sharing their ideas on arecorded podcast than maybe they
would be in person face toface, 100%.
(22:23):
And it's funny. We've had acouple wonderful inventors and innovators
on the podcast. And when Isay, like, what's coming up next
for you? They'll share withoutthinking, like, patent ideas or like,
things that they shouldn't betalking about. And they're like,
oh, no, can you, like, editthat out? And I'm like, yeah, totally.
Yeah. I think, you know, Matt,you and I talk about this a lot,
(22:43):
and I just saw somebody tweetabout this. But, like, being a podcast
host is so much more thanbeing a podcast host, right? It's
like being a therapist andholding space and trauma and I mean,
you know, we did our wholeseason on child loss for October
was pregnancy and infant lossawareness. And you were a huge support
to me during that seasonbecause those were some heavy stories
(23:06):
that I had to hold. And it'snot just about holding the space
while you record. It's puttingthe episode out and making sure you're
honoring. And in this case, itwas a dead child. Right. And so that
was probably one of theproudest pieces that whole season.
I will never be prouder ofanything. I think that we put out.
And, you know, in fulltransparency, I didn't even care
(23:26):
what our listeners were like.I didn't care how many we got. But
I Will say, we got somebeautiful messages from. I mean,
the women that share theirstories were so brave. And we got
some messages from theirfamily members that were like, thank
you for letting them sharetheir stories. Like, you know, and
so I will never forget that.Doing that. It changed me. It absolutely
(23:47):
changed me.
I think there's so much valuein not the episode actually going
out, but being able to hold aspace for someone to just let their
story out, because thensometimes they've never said it out
loud. It's been in, or they'vewritten it on a piece of paper. You
know, I've had episodes thatdon't sound as good as I want them
to, you know, like, actuallythe audio of it. But I find the story
(24:12):
so important that it's like, Ican't not put this out there one,
because this person needs tohear themselves tell the story more
than anyone else hearing it.Right. And so there's so much value
there. And I think it's thisweird space, as a podcast host, creator,
whatever we call ourselves,that it's like you have this battle
of, like, what do I cut out?Or where do I put this? Or, you know,
(24:35):
when do I put this out, howcan I put this out, even if it doesn't
sound great, you know, and allthese things. And I think to your
point of, like, that seasonwith child loss and pregnancy loss,
these are. Those stories wereprobably so important for them to
say out loud, you know, to just.
Yeah, it's interesting. 100.And we've had. And I'm sure you've
had this too. We've had peopleshare really tragic stories, and
(24:58):
sometimes, you know, withtragedy comes. You have to distance
yourself from it. Andsometimes people will say things,
and I'm like, oh, that's notgoing to come off the way you think
it's going to come off to thepublic. Right. And so I don't edit
anybody's story, but I do wantthem to be perceived as. I understood
what they were saying. Right.But it's like, if you don't listen
(25:19):
to maybe the whole episode oryou don't understand the full context,
it might sound flippant. Andso I've definitely had to kind of
figure that situation outsometimes, too.
Well, I think what you guysare doing is beautiful. I think what
you though, the space that youhold. I love that you're doing thematic
seasons now with the show andkind of creating that.
Yeah.
I think it also, you know, ashard as it can be with whatever topic
(25:43):
you choose, I think it's alsoreally interesting for you to spend
that time in that space.
It is, because I have add andI can't. I can't. I get bored. You
know, I'm like, you know, Ilove the conversations. I could keep
going with conversations allthe time, but what we found is that
people, it's not just thatthey have fresh start stories, but
they have fresh ideas, right?And so we're like, well, bring us
(26:03):
your fresh ideas. Bring us theconversations nobody else wants to
talk about. And that's what weabsolutely love. But I enjoy the
thematic. You know, I. There'sa part of me, I used to be a journalist,
you know, I'm a writer, and sopart of me loves that, like, NPR
style, you know, digging inand, you know, having the thematic
seasons. So I don't know whatwe're going to do next year, but
we'll. We'll figure it out. Itusually comes to us.
(26:25):
Don't worry about it.
You got enough on your plate.It's always, It's. It's interesting.
Usually somebody will saysomething, and I'm like, oh, that
would be a really cool ideafor a season. You know, we have a
couple people that wanted todo a whole season about widows, and,
you know, so we'll see whatcomes up.
Hey, don't worry about it. Ithink you have enough.
I don't. I don't have enoughof my plate mat. I haven't always.
(26:45):
Never enough.
Never enough.
So to kind of wrap up thisconversation, I'm wondering if there's
someone that's out there thatlistens to podcasts that has a story
but never really shares itpublicly. Is there anything that
you would want to advise themabout starting to share their story
or any, like, tiptoeing in. Isthere any advice you have?
You know, I always say, like,when it comes to sharing your story,
(27:07):
really, like, start journalingabout the story from your perspective.
Right? Because I think so muchof our hesitation with sharing stories
is we don't want to projectwhat we thought the other person
was thinking into the story.And so really try to. I literally
look at it, look at it in myhead like a movie scene, right? And
it's like, well, what was Idoing? Where was I? What was I thinking?
(27:28):
And kind of erasing that otherperson out of the scene. And just
seeing yourself through thatwill help figure out how you can
tell your story with grace.
And also know that, like, youdon't have to share it on a podcast.
You can share it with afriend, you can share it with a stranger.
You can share it however youneed to.
And journaling. Journaling isa wonderful way to get out of your
body always.
Yeah, I love that.
(27:48):
Or drawing. Or art. Yeah.
Yeah.
Any kind of creative outlet, Ithink, is really helpful for any
kind of processing. Oh, Iknow. I don't do a voicemail. I'll
do a podcast, but I won't do avoice note.
Well, just to get out of your.
Body, if people want to, like,get into your orbit, what's the best
way to do that?
Yeah, you can go to freshstarts registry.com where fresh starts
(28:09):
Registry on Instagram. And mypersonal handle is the Digital Yenta.
And you can always DM me andsay hi.
Yeah. And she loves it, by the way.
I do. I love it. I'm a big ganta.
She likes to connect andcheerlead and all these things. So
thank you for being a guestand a friend and everyday podcast,
everyday texter. But not whenI'm in New York. Sorry.
(28:31):
No, sorry. You were too busyseeing all the Bradley shoes.
Well, thank you for doing thisand those of you listening, thank
you for supporting the Patreoncommunity. And I'll be back next
month with another bonus episode.
(28:53):
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
Hello my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast.
But I used to have other tiers.
Where people were so generousand were offering additional money
each month to get bonusepisodes and possible winnings of
(00:44):
T shirts and all sorts ofthings. And then I realized a couple
months ago that I wasn't ableto deliver what I wanted to, especially
for those of you that weregiving me the extra money. So right
now we're just kind of doingthe early episodes. You'll always
get those. So if you want tosupport the Life Shift podcast, please
jump over to patreon.comforward/thelifeshiftpod podcast and
you can find that informationthere. But I come on here because
(01:08):
I want to share a series ofthese bonus episodes that I did early
on in the Patreon journey.There are like 20 plus episodes in
which I had bonus recordingswith previous guests. So I would
go back and we would have aconversation about the experience
of sharing their story on theLife Shift podcast. Catch up on anything.
(01:30):
And I think these are superimportant and I know most of them
did not see the light of dayfrom outside of the Patreon. So I'm
going to be dropping theseepisodes. Whatever you're listening
to now is another episode. SoI'm going to use the same intro for
all of them. But here is oneof the bonus episodes with a former
guest from the Life Shiftpodcast. And if you like this, let
(01:52):
me know because I'm thinkingof bringing some of this back and
talking to previous guests asI go into year four. So enjoy this
bonus episode that was oncereleased on the Patreon feed. I'm
Matt Gilhooley and this is theLife Shift Candid conversations about
the pivotal moments that havechanged lives forever.
(02:23):
Hello, Olivia.
Hi. How are you?
Good. It's so weird because wenever talk.
Never. Not at all. And Ididn't have withdrawal symptoms when
you were away for the week andseeing Broadway shows back to back
or anything.
So if you're listening, Oliviawas on episode 75 and I good Number.
(02:43):
I think I just releasedepisode 120, so I'm not quite sure
where life has gone.
I don't know. Yeah, that's.That's a lot of episodes, Matt.
Well, you just passed 102 witha fresh story, so congratulations
with that.
Yeah, yeah, it's a lot. It's alot of work. I'm tired.
Nuts. Yeah, I understand that.We recorded your episode April 28,
(03:05):
2023, and then it came outAugust 15, 2023, and now we are in
March 2024.
Wow. Wow.
You know, it's crazy. And you.You have your story. I feel like
you share your story in somany ways and so many platforms,
and I was just honored thatyou wanted to kind of go through
(03:27):
that journey and in the lifeshift format, if you will, of, like,
what was that, you know, thatsignificant smallest moment we could
pinpoint and determine, like,where did everything change? Because
you had a lot of a buildup.You had a lot of a buildup, but then
there seemingly was a kind oflike a smallish moment. Maybe you
(03:50):
can remind us of what yourmoment was.
Yeah, it was a lot of buildupof a toxic relationship. And then
the moment was cooking dinnerwhen my husband, my ex husband said
he had to leave. Right. Sothat was like it. That was the moment.
You know, you. I'm on a lot ofpodcasts. I love to guest on podcasts,
but you have the uniqueexperience of being my friend as
(04:13):
well. And so not only do youprovide a safe space for people that
they can come and talk on yourpodcast, but I felt doubly safe because
you already kind of knew someof my story. And, you know, I knew
that I could share freelywithout being judged and without
being shamed. And I think todate, I probably have shared more
(04:33):
on your podcast than. Than anyother podcast that I've ever. Including
my own that I've ever talked about.
Well, I. I think it'simportant because your story, although
unique to you, I don't thinkis unique to, unfortunately, to a
lot of people. And, you know,what you guys do with the fresh starts,
you know, and. And a freshstory and just kind of bringing these
(04:56):
stories to light and sharingthat, like, any change in your life
can be a positive one, even ifit stems from something negative.
And I love that reframing andwhat you guys do, you and your sister,
who's also been on thepodcast, sharing another similar
story, unfortunately. And youknow, it's true.
(05:17):
It's true. I was just thinkingabout that this morning, because
divorce is like having A hotmoment right now in the news. I've
been thinking a lot about theway that we talk about divorce, specifically
at Fresh Starts, and I alwayswant people to understand and realize
that there is such abeautiful, positive way to reframe
(05:38):
your divorce. Not that divorceisn't hard. Like, divorce is really
hard. The process is hard. Thehealing is super hard. But so much
of divorce is both. And,right, you can both go through this
really traumatic process andfind joy at the end of it and find
moments of joy within theprocess and feel really, you know,
(05:59):
peaceful with the decisionthat you made. So when you can reframe
divorce as a positive decisionthat you make in your life, which
is hard, and we have a lot ofpeople that will say to us, but what
if it wasn't my decision?Right? And it's never easy to make
a big decision about yourlife, and it's never easy to go through
(06:20):
a legal battle with a personthat you thought you were signing
up to live the rest of yourlife with. Right? Like, nobody's
saying that's easy, but whenwe can reframe divorce as a. As kind
of the second act of our lifeand say, like, okay, now we can make
the decisions for our joy andour children's joy, and we can move
forward. And I'm verysensitive to divorce stories that
(06:45):
are. Right. I would like tosay, like, kind of trapped in the
past. Right. And there's,like, a lot of. A lot, rightfully
so, a lot of anger surroundinga lot of divorce stories. And I was
just thinking this morning,like, I feel like it's okay to remind
people, like, you don't needto be angry forever. Right. Like,
you can. You can move on. Andthat's so much of what we do at Fresh
Starts.
(07:05):
But you also can be angry inthe moment, and you're allowed to
feel sad and angry and allthese emotions because we're human.
And I think that's justnatural. And I think society has
also set up divorce assomething that it's not. And, you
know, I think it's. It'screated, like, this shame. And I
think a lot of that's tied toreligion and. And. And things like
that, but also in the senseof, like, people just change over
(07:29):
their lives, and sometimes youdon't change in the same direction
as the person that you'remarried to, and that's okay. I mean,
relationships before marriageend and change. And so, you know,
I think this contract, if youwill, of. Of marriage kind of changes
perspective, but it's reallyno different It's.
It's wild when you actuallytake a second to think about it,
(07:49):
right? Because you havedifferent friends your whole life.
You have friendships that endand friendships that start and friendships
that ebb and flow. And yetwe're culturally told, but also,
you have to find the oneperson you're going to spend the
rest of your life with. Andjust because we're, you know, really,
historically, it's aheterosexual marriage to have children.
Right. And propagate the, youknow, universe. But, you know, why.
(08:13):
Why do we shame people forwanting to change that relationship
or transition into a divorce?Because the relationship doesn't
end, especially if you havechildren. It just transitions into
a different kind ofrelationship. And so, you know, it's.
It's wild that we kind of havedecided that this box people have
to live in. I mean, I knowyou're all about that, that those
check boxes and all thosethings, right. It's like, yes, we
(08:34):
can have colleagues that, youknow, come and go and friends that
come and go, but you have tofind one person.
So weird.
Yeah, it's a very weirdconcept. Yeah.
But, I mean, I guess it's notprobably going anywhere. So I love
that you guys are putting intothe world that, like, this can be
a fresh start in a positiveway. Of course there is going to
be quote, unquote, baggage orare things that come with it, but
(08:57):
you don't have to carry thatforever. There are things that you
can let go eventually when youare ready. And I. And to that point,
I know you don't listen to alot of the episodes of shows that
you're on, but I know that youdid listen to this one. How did you
feel listening to you tellyour own story in this way?
Well, it's funny you say that,because we were just on a podcast
yesterday, and my whole familywas like, it was so good. And I was
(09:19):
like, I didn't listen to it,but I do listen. I listened to your
podcast and I listened to. Ilistened to this episode. Well, first
of all, I think the. Thenumber one thing that came up for
me was how well you hold spacefor people. I just have to put that
on you for a second because Ithink the people that come on wouldn't
feel safe, wouldn't sharetheir stories if it wasn't for the
atmosphere you set. So thatwas the number one takeaway that
(09:43):
I had. But I think again, likeyou said, my story is not that unique.
And so it's important for meto be honest about it and share it
on a platform that I knowother people who listen to your podcast
would maybe learn somethingor, you know, you probably get an
audience of people that wantto dig deep into these conversations.
(10:04):
And so I was really happy,obviously, with the way that the
episode came out. I thought itwas beautiful. I think you set a
tone of such calm and peace,and so it made it easy to be calm
and share my story andremember every part that I had to
remember. And I love that itwas centered around this one moment,
(10:26):
which did change my life. And,you know, with divorce, especially,
because divorce can go on fora long time, and the process is long,
and you kind of have thesedifferent milestones that you go
through with divorce. Youknow, like the moment that he decides
to leave, and then the momenthe actually does leave, and then
the moment you sign yourpapers. Right. And so I love that
you kind of forced me to pickthat one moment and work up to that.
(10:49):
I think it's alwaysinteresting to. I hear this from
other people, and I wonder ifyou experience this as. Sometimes
we tell our stories, but wealways tell it in chunks, like, And.
And they're little chunkshere, but we don't really tell it
from here to here, or, like,beginning to not end, but a particular
ending. And so, like, when Ilistened to my own episode that I
had my friend, guest host, itwas so interesting to hear it from
(11:14):
that perspective. And I wonderif telling your story in that long
space was a little weird for you.
I think it was. It was cool.It was cool to kind of see it from,
like, an overhead point ofview. I am a clinical hypnotherapist,
and one of the activities. Oneof the modalities I do with people
is called time techniques. Andyou kind of go into this hypnotic
(11:34):
space, and you go up aboveyour timeline of your life, and you
get to rearrange things,because everything is just a story.
Like, spoiler alert.Everything about us is just a story.
We can rewrite those stories.And so it was kind of reminded me
of that. Right. It's like youget to float above your timeline
and see their story in kind ofthis big chunk. And it is. It's really
(11:54):
cool to see that it's.
Unique for you because thisis, like, a lot of my guests maybe
haven't told their storybefore, but your whole business is
really because of your story.And so most people that probably
listened to this episode haveheard your story in some way. Did
you get any feedback fromanyone that was, like, kind of unique
(12:15):
or stood out to you?
I mean, I definitely didBecause I think that it was the first
time I told it in. In itsentirety, like you said. And so I
had a lot of people that werelike, you know, I didn't know these
parts of the story or, like,that made sense. Like, once, you
know, kind of I put the wholething together. And it's interesting
telling my story, too, becauseI always am very aware that I'm telling
(12:37):
my story and not anybodyelse's story. And so, you know, it's
interesting to really see it,like, from the whole story, from
my perspective. And I thinkother people really enjoyed learning
more about. Like, I don'tshare. You know, I. It's funny. I'm
a very much an open book, andI share everything on social media.
Like, I talk about everything,except I don't always share parts
(13:01):
of this particular story. AndI don't know if it's a conscious
thing because, like, I save itfor podcasts or my book someday or
whatever. I also think. Idon't know. As public as I am, there's
parts of the story that arereally hard to talk about. And so
it's good to have a safe spaceto do that.
There's a lot of hard parts ofa lot of people's stories, and I
think the more that we shareours, the more safe other people
(13:26):
feel sharing theirs. Because,like you said, where all of our lives
are a story, right? Andthere's not always. It's not always
going to be up at the top. Youknow, we're not always going to be
at these hills and thesemountains and these wonderful things
that we can celebrate. Infact, a lot of the time, or most
of the time, we're on the waydown trying to, like, figure out
how to get back up. And Ithink those are the places in which
(13:48):
we can relate to each otherthe most. Right. And so, you know,
hopefully we start flippingthis more so that not to say that
we want to, like, telleveryone our dirty laundry and everything
is terrible and the wholeworld is falling apart, which may.
It may be, but I think thoseare the moments in which we can relate
to each other the most andthen find hope when one of us or
(14:10):
a couple of us start to findour way back up 100.
You have to hear otherpeople's stories to know that you
can make it through your ownstory, too. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's been a whilesince we've recorded what's changed
in your life since April 2023.
Okay. So since almost a yearago. Well, we released a book that
(14:31):
we love called simple scriptsto support your people. And then
four months later with thebook did very well. We self published
the book, but it sold over 700copies, which is like unheard of
for a self published book infour months. And then four months
later, Ish, a literary agentdropped into our laps and we are
(14:52):
working on a book proposal forhim. But he, we had to pull our original
book off the market so wecould work on this other book because
of book bureaucracy things. Sowe actually have put all the scripts
on the website. So there's now200 scripts for free up on fresh
starts registry.com and Idon't know what else is happening.
(15:13):
I mean, so many things. Wehave amazing experts. We now have
about 120plus experts in ourexpert community. We're growing it
very quickly. I don't know,we're just constantly. We, we had
a podcast cohort. I don'tknow, just a lot. It's a lot. It's
all good things. Yeah, yeah.
And it's happening reallyrapidly. Your kids are growing quickly
(15:36):
and they.
Are, I know this summerthey'll be 11 and 8, which is like
crazy. I don't know.
Yeah, it's, you know, and Ithink it's, it's something to be
said. Like you said like your,your company is not just about divorce.
Right. The company is aboutFresh Starts, naturally. There's
a lot of talk going on nowabout divorce and how this, the millennials
(15:57):
are going to start to getdivorced in a more rapid rate. Like
we're, we're gonna see ahigher amount coming soon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And our bookis not about divorce. Our book that
we're writing right now, nowis about Fresh Starts. And so, you
know, we see a lot of peoplewho come to Fresh Starts for so many
things right now we have a lotof job loss, a lot of job change.
(16:17):
W Who just want some sort ofchange in their life. Right. That,
that life.
I think the pandemic broughtit to.
The pandemic brought out alot. You know, it's interesting because
now we're four year this week.Right. Four years post pandemic launch.
And I think people are kind ofjust trying figuring stuff out now
of like, wait, I actuallydon't want to be in this relationship
(16:40):
or this job or this place. Youknow, we get a lot of people that
are making big moves. So somuch of what we do at Fresh Starts
and what our book is about isreally like giving people the permission,
right. To like make these bigdecisions on their own, which is
scary.
Proud about them.
Yeah. And like, to get tofigure out the journey forward. Right.
As you make these decisionsand how to get where you want to
(17:03):
go.
Yeah. I think you take thestigma out of a lot of these big
changes, I think even changesthat maybe on the surface don't seem
shameful or things that peoplewant to hide. They still do. Because
I think we're conditioned in asense that we want other people to
approve of what we're doing ornot. Doubtless.
It's interesting, too, Matt,because now that you say that, I'm
(17:25):
thinking we have a lot of,like, women especially, that will
come to us, and they're like,I just bought my own house. Like,
do I get to celebrate? Like,do I get a party? Right. I think
we compare everything we do tobabies and weddings. Right. Is it,
how does it stand up to a babyor wedding? Right. Is it enough celebration?
Is it. Do I not talk about it?Right. I graduated my PhD. Whatever
(17:46):
it is, it's like, is that goodenough? And so, so much of what we
do is being like, yes, like,there's so much more to life than
B and weddings. And you'reallowed to celebrate it all, and
you're allowed to have aregistry for it and a party and,
yeah, just giving people their permission.
You can do whatever you want.
There's no rules. There areliterally no rules. This is all made
up. Time is made up. There'sno, there's no, Everything is made
(18:07):
up.
It, I mean, I, I love that.And I think you're putting so much
positivity into the world anddestigmatizing things that shouldn't
have a stigma anyway. And so Ithink as we move forward with it,
I think it's such a, it's awonderful thing for people to consider.
And of course, peoplelistening will include the links
to, to what you do. I'mwondering, like, on the podcast front,
(18:29):
when you're listening, whenyou go to listen, I know you're super
busy and you probably don'thave a lot of time to listen to shows
just in general, what kind ofstories, what kind of stories do
you gravitate towards in anykind of podcast that you listen to?
I love that question. I loveyour podcast. So I love all the stories.
I, I, it's funny, I don'tlisten to as many as I used to. I
listened to, like, a handful.So I'll tell you exactly who I listen
(18:51):
to your podcast I to Time toLean, which is with another one of
our experts, Crystal Britt andour friend Laura Danger. Which is
really focused on domesticequity and talking about household
labor and mental labor. Andit's, it's not necessarily stories,
but they break down a lot oflike TikTok videos and it's interest.
(19:11):
Very interesting. I listen toPop Culture Happy Hour while I usually,
while I'm doing something elsesmart list if it's somebody that
I like. And then that's prettymuch it. Like not a ton of podcasts
right now.
I really, I asked thatquestion because I find that I really
gravitate towards stories thatare very much like my own because
(19:31):
I think I'm curious.
Yes, I listened to. I wasgonna say we had another friend of
ours launch a parentingpodcast, Give it Time, which, But
I, I, you know what I'm gonnasay. I love when I know the people
on the podcasts. Like I, Ireally try to list. I really, really
try to listen to my friendspodcasts or if my friend is on a
podcast, I'll listen. It just,it's exciting, right? It's like,
(19:53):
oh, I know the person or likeI get to support them. And I love
to hear the perspectives ofthe people I love on podcasts. So,
you know. Yeah. But I listento our own podcast as I edit it.
And so it is a lot of podcast.Yeah, a lot of podcasts. You know,
there's a couple other ones,Fine Beats and Cheeses, which is
(20:13):
with our friends LeslieStreeter and Lynn Childress. That's
a pop culture podcast. We justhad them on our podcast because we're
doing a sibling season comingup, which I'm so excited about. It's
exploring the siblingdynamics. And so we're having some
really cool sibling setscoming on and some past guests are
bringing their siblings back.And so we had them on because they're
(20:37):
twins and they had. One ofthem is a widow. And we talked about
how the sisters supported eachother like in that time. So I'm,
I'm. Because Jenny and I, notshockingly, are fascinated by sibling
dynamics. We've. That wasactually, we wanted to do a sibling
podcast before anything elsethat years ago we wanted to have
one that was going to becalled had to Be There and it was
(20:58):
going to be about like growingup together and what that looked
like. And then Kate and OliverHudson stole our podcast idea. So.
But they can come on. Iactually invited them on ours, but
they haven't heard back.
Maybe they will. I'll, I'll,I'll put out some, some feelers out
there for you.
We had, we actually had ourhalf sister come on to our first
episode is with our halfsister, which was a really beautiful
(21:20):
episode and sad andinteresting. And I think people will.
People will really, I think,learn a lot from it because a lot
of people have half siblings,and we don't really talk about how
weird that can be. And so it'sgoing to be the next season is more.
We're calling them FreshConversations because they're not
just fresh stories, but theFresh Start stories, but they're
(21:40):
kind of different topics. Sowe have one about how dating apps
are a scam. We have kind oflike, about a lot of beautiful stories
about marriage, fresh starts,and how you can kind of come back
from slow, low times ofmarriage, which I love. And then
we'll have the sibling seasonand then more conversations. So it's
quick. It's. I mean, you knowhow quickly you kind of book up for
(22:02):
the rest of the year. It'slike, well, there goes that. So now
I just have to edit everything.
Speaking of weird, isn't itweird? I don't know if you're finding
this. I think it's weird thatpeople seem to be more open and free
sharing their ideas on arecorded podcast than maybe they
would be in person face toface, 100%.
(22:23):
And it's funny. We've had acouple wonderful inventors and innovators
on the podcast. And when Isay, like, what's coming up next
for you? They'll share withoutthinking, like, patent ideas or like,
things that they shouldn't betalking about. And they're like,
oh, no, can you, like, editthat out? And I'm like, yeah, totally.
Yeah. I think, you know, Matt,you and I talk about this a lot,
(22:43):
and I just saw somebody tweetabout this. But, like, being a podcast
host is so much more thanbeing a podcast host, right? It's
like being a therapist andholding space and trauma and I mean,
you know, we did our wholeseason on child loss for October
was pregnancy and infant lossawareness. And you were a huge support
to me during that seasonbecause those were some heavy stories
(23:06):
that I had to hold. And it'snot just about holding the space
while you record. It's puttingthe episode out and making sure you're
honoring. And in this case, itwas a dead child. Right. And so that
was probably one of theproudest pieces that whole season.
I will never be prouder ofanything. I think that we put out.
And, you know, in fulltransparency, I didn't even care
(23:26):
what our listeners were like.I didn't care how many we got. But
I Will say, we got somebeautiful messages from. I mean,
the women that share theirstories were so brave. And we got
some messages from theirfamily members that were like, thank
you for letting them sharetheir stories. Like, you know, and
so I will never forget that.Doing that. It changed me. It absolutely
(23:47):
changed me.
I think there's so much valuein not the episode actually going
out, but being able to hold aspace for someone to just let their
story out, because thensometimes they've never said it out
loud. It's been in, or they'vewritten it on a piece of paper. You
know, I've had episodes thatdon't sound as good as I want them
to, you know, like, actuallythe audio of it. But I find the story
(24:12):
so important that it's like, Ican't not put this out there one,
because this person needs tohear themselves tell the story more
than anyone else hearing it.Right. And so there's so much value
there. And I think it's thisweird space, as a podcast host, creator,
whatever we call ourselves,that it's like you have this battle
of, like, what do I cut out?Or where do I put this? Or, you know,
(24:35):
when do I put this out, howcan I put this out, even if it doesn't
sound great, you know, and allthese things. And I think to your
point of, like, that seasonwith child loss and pregnancy loss,
these are. Those stories wereprobably so important for them to
say out loud, you know, to just.
Yeah, it's interesting. 100.And we've had. And I'm sure you've
had this too. We've had peopleshare really tragic stories, and
(24:58):
sometimes, you know, withtragedy comes. You have to distance
yourself from it. Andsometimes people will say things,
and I'm like, oh, that's notgoing to come off the way you think
it's going to come off to thepublic. Right. And so I don't edit
anybody's story, but I do wantthem to be perceived as. I understood
what they were saying. Right.But it's like, if you don't listen
(25:19):
to maybe the whole episode oryou don't understand the full context,
it might sound flippant. Andso I've definitely had to kind of
figure that situation outsometimes, too.
Well, I think what you guysare doing is beautiful. I think what
you though, the space that youhold. I love that you're doing thematic
seasons now with the show andkind of creating that.
Yeah.
I think it also, you know, ashard as it can be with whatever topic
(25:43):
you choose, I think it's alsoreally interesting for you to spend
that time in that space.
It is, because I have add andI can't. I can't. I get bored. You
know, I'm like, you know, Ilove the conversations. I could keep
going with conversations allthe time, but what we found is that
people, it's not just thatthey have fresh start stories, but
they have fresh ideas, right?And so we're like, well, bring us
(26:03):
your fresh ideas. Bring us theconversations nobody else wants to
talk about. And that's what weabsolutely love. But I enjoy the
thematic. You know, I. There'sa part of me, I used to be a journalist,
you know, I'm a writer, and sopart of me loves that, like, NPR
style, you know, digging inand, you know, having the thematic
seasons. So I don't know whatwe're going to do next year, but
we'll. We'll figure it out. Itusually comes to us.
(26:25):
Don't worry about it.
You got enough on your plate.It's always, It's. It's interesting.
Usually somebody will saysomething, and I'm like, oh, that
would be a really cool ideafor a season. You know, we have a
couple people that wanted todo a whole season about widows, and,
you know, so we'll see whatcomes up.
Hey, don't worry about it. Ithink you have enough.
I don't. I don't have enoughof my plate mat. I haven't always.
(26:45):
Never enough.
Never enough.
So to kind of wrap up thisconversation, I'm wondering if there's
someone that's out there thatlistens to podcasts that has a story
but never really shares itpublicly. Is there anything that
you would want to advise themabout starting to share their story
or any, like, tiptoeing in. Isthere any advice you have?
You know, I always say, like,when it comes to sharing your story,
(27:07):
really, like, start journalingabout the story from your perspective.
Right? Because I think so muchof our hesitation with sharing stories
is we don't want to projectwhat we thought the other person
was thinking into the story.And so really try to. I literally
look at it, look at it in myhead like a movie scene, right? And
it's like, well, what was Idoing? Where was I? What was I thinking?
(27:28):
And kind of erasing that otherperson out of the scene. And just
seeing yourself through thatwill help figure out how you can
tell your story with grace.
And also know that, like, youdon't have to share it on a podcast.
You can share it with afriend, you can share it with a stranger.
You can share it however youneed to.
And journaling. Journaling isa wonderful way to get out of your
body always.
Yeah, I love that.
(27:48):
Or drawing. Or art. Yeah.
Yeah.
Any kind of creative outlet, Ithink, is really helpful for any
kind of processing. Oh, Iknow. I don't do a voicemail. I'll
do a podcast, but I won't do avoice note.
Well, just to get out of your.
Body, if people want to, like,get into your orbit, what's the best
way to do that?
Yeah, you can go to freshstarts registry.com where fresh starts
(28:09):
Registry on Instagram. And mypersonal handle is the Digital Yenta.
And you can always DM me andsay hi.
Yeah. And she loves it, by the way.
I do. I love it. I'm a big ganta.
She likes to connect andcheerlead and all these things. So
thank you for being a guestand a friend and everyday podcast,
everyday texter. But not whenI'm in New York. Sorry.
(28:31):
No, sorry. You were too busyseeing all the Bradley shoes.
Well, thank you for doing thisand those of you listening, thank
you for supporting the Patreoncommunity. And I'll be back next
month with another bonus episode.
(28:53):
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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