March 30, 2025 • 32 mins
The Life Shift Rewind
I’m excited to share bonus episodes from Patreon, where I revisited past guests to discuss what has changed and the value of sharing their stories. Since I currently only have the lower tiers available, I wanted to make these conversations accessible to the public feed. If you'd like to support the show directly, please consider joining the $3 or $5 tier on Patreon – www.patreon.com/thelifeshiftpodcast.
Heidi Kirby is back on The Life Shift, diving deep into her journey of sobriety and the major life changes she's faced since we last chatted.
We get into how her decision to quit drinking was a pivotal moment that set off a chain reaction in her life, leading to her divorce and new beginnings. Heidi shares the raw and real emotions that came with these shifts, emphasizing the importance of being brave enough to let go of things that no longer serve us. It's a powerful reminder that reclaiming our identity often means facing uncomfortable truths, but it can also lead to incredible growth and healing. If you’re grappling with your own life changes or seeking inspiration, this episode is a must-listen.
Listen to Heidi's full episode on The Life Shift podcast: https://www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/are-you-going-to-stop-drinking-forever-heidi-kirby/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess, warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast. But I used tohave other tiers where people were
so generous and were offeringadditional money each month to get
(00:41):
bonus episodes and possiblewinnings of T shirts and all sorts
of things. And then I realizeda couple months ago that I wasn't
able to deliver what I wantedto, especially for those of you that
were giving me the extra money.
So right now we're just kind of.
Doing the early episodes.You'll always get those. So if you
want to support the Life Shiftpodcast, please jump over to patreon.com
(01:02):
forward/thelifeshiftpodpodcast and you can find that information
there. But I come on herebecause I want to share a series
of these bonus episodes that Idid early on in the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests. So Iwould go back and we would have a
(01:23):
conversation about theexperience of sharing their story
on the Life Shift podcast.Catch up on anything. And I think
these are super important andI know most of them did not see the
light of day from outside ofthe Patreon. So I'm going to be dropping
these episodes. Whateveryou're listening to now is another
episode. So I'm going to usethe same intro for all of them. But
(01:45):
here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
the Life Shift podcast. And ifyou like this, let me know because
I'm thinking of bringing someof this back and talking to previous
guests as I go into year four.So enjoy this bonus episode that
was once released on thePatreon feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooly and this isthe Life Shift candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal moments thathave changed lives forever. I am
here with my former guest,Heidi. Hey. Heidi.
Hey.
And you're also my former instructor.
(02:30):
Yes.
And it's your fault that thepodcast exists.
It is. It is my fault.
Yay. We were just reminiscingabout the class and we were talking
a little bit about podcastingand how there are different rules
for every podcast. And so, youknow, it's interesting to have a
class. I'm so thankful. Justbefore we get into your story, I'm
(02:51):
so thankful that I opted totake the Art of Podcasting because
it was, you know, it was anelective, and it scared me.
Yeah, I remember.
And I was. But I was like. Andthen when we got into it, I was like,
well, why would I do this for,like, fake. Why wouldn't I do this
for real? Do you know if therewere any other people? I have. How
(03:14):
many students in your classeshave, like, launched officially?
There have been a lot thatsaid they were going to. And I always,
like, comment on, like, theirlast discussion post, like, tell
me where to find it when youdo launch it. And you're the only
person who actually has toldme. So I don't know. Maybe they have,
and they just, like, don'tcare if I know about it or not, you
(03:35):
know, but. And some peoplehave come into the class who already
have a podcast, but they kindof just, like, did it themselves,
and they want a little bitmore, like, structure, and they want
to, like, figure it out alittle bit more and have, like, more
consistent branding, sothey'll do that. But, like, I'm pretty
sure you're. Yeah. You're thebiggest success story from the class.
(03:56):
I don't know about success,but I feel like this is the best
journey that I've been on, andif I get nothing else from the degree
program, I'm so happy that Istumbled into it because I didn't
know how much I needed this.It just felt like, I don't know.
Before you get into a spacelike this, and especially with the
life shift, it's, you know,obviously I'm dealing with very personal
(04:16):
conversations with people, butyou kind of look at podcasting from
an outsider's perspective as,like, performative. Like, oh, that
person just wants to be heard.
Yeah.
But then when you're in it,it's a completely different vibe,
and you kind of just, like.It's something you just can't understand
until you do it.
Yeah. Yeah, well. And I think.I think that also means that you've
(04:40):
understood it. I do stillhave, like, a lot of students who
think that they can just getaway with, like, was sitting down
with a friend and talkingabout nothing for 45 minutes. And
no matter how much I'm like,listen, nobody wants to hear you
talk about nothing unlessyou're a celebrity or an influencer.
They just, you know.
Exactly.
Hear it.
(05:00):
Yeah. I tell people that allthe time that want to start podcasts.
I'm like, you know, the bestthing I did was be forced to go through
the process, to go through thepre launch process. You know, even
still, like making consideringtarget audience Personas in my head.
It's funny because I look atwhat I did in, in our class and then
(05:21):
I'll look at like the Applestatistics or like the analytics.
Yeah.
And it's. That's my Persona.Like, it's the person. And you know,
and I think a lot of peopledon't go into any project with like,
or a lot of people don't gointo. It's too much work to do the
prep. Let's just get startedand then we'll figure it out as we
go. But I think there was somuch benefit in, in just kind of
(05:44):
taking it piece by piece andthen, you know, launching it. So
thank you for that experience.Thank you for not shutting down this
idea and you know, encouragingme to do it because it, it truly
is one of the most fulfillingthings that I've ever done. And so
thank you.
Yeah, of course. I'm glad.
And you were a part of it, sothank you for that as well. You were
(06:06):
episode 19 and before westarted recording at this moment
in time, I have 86 episodesrecorded. So there. A lot has happened
with the Life Shift podcastsince we recorded your episode in
June. That was just like ayear ago, June 2022. And then your
episode came out in July of2022. And so your episode was really
(06:28):
about your journey to sobrietyand kind of those last moments leading
up to when you were just like,no more, I'm done. I know you've
probably shared this storypublicly with a lot of people. Was
there any, like, through ourconversation, was there, was there
any feelings that you hadafter you kind of let it out in this
(06:49):
here's my former studentspodcast that I'm about to put out
there into the world.
So it's interesting because werecorded that at like a very. Well,
we recorded it right before Itold my now ex husband I wanted to
get a divorce and it releasedright after. And shortly after that,
(07:11):
you know, I, we both alreadyhad new partners and I remember my
new partner went and listenedto our episode and was like, I feel
really awkward about you, liketaught like thanking your husband
and like, you know, this andthat. And I'm like, yeah, but that
was like 10, you know, thatwas like 10 years ago. And you can
(07:34):
still be grateful to somebodyfor what they meant in Your life
at that point. Point. And youknow, like, I'm still grateful to
him for helping me findsobriety, but it doesn't necessarily
mean that, like, it's workingtoday. Right. So it was at like a
very pivotal time. And I thinkhaving the conversation made me also
(07:54):
realize that, like, I didthat, right. Like, I can get through
anything. Divorce, job loss,you know, you know, you name whatever's
happened since then and like,you know, if you can get through
it without drinking, like, youcan get through anything.
Yeah. And yours was sointeresting to me because I think
a lot of people have thislike, long circuitous route to finding
(08:19):
that last drink. And yoursfelt very, like in your story, felt
very abrupt, if. If that's agood word too.
Yeah, they call it a high bottom.
I mean, good for you.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, I thinkI get uncomfortable with things a
lot sooner than other people.Like with my divorce. Right. Like,
(08:41):
I was like, this needs to end.It's not working for me. And my now
ex husband was like, well,let's work it out. Let's figure,
you know. And I was like, no,no, you don't understand. Like, if
we try to keep at this and itdoesn't work out, I'm going to resent
you even more. And we're goingto be like those, you know, those
two parents, we had just goneto a friend's wedding where his parents
(09:03):
wouldn't even speak to eachother at the wedding. And so he couldn't
even like walk down the aislewith both of them. Like, he kind
of wanted to and like, youknow, he couldn't even have them
at the same table. And so Iwas like, I don't want to be those
parents for our son. You know,we have to do end this now while
things are still amicable andwe're at that place. So I do have
(09:25):
a history of like making bigchanges when I'm slightly uncomfortable
as opposed to very uncomfortable.
There's something to be saidfor that because you just said that
you just passed the ten yearmark, right?
Yeah, yeah. July 15th was tenyears sober for me. Yeah.
Congratulations. I remember.Yeah, we released it and this has
(09:48):
been a very weird experiencethat I've had more than 10 times
now in the episodes that I'vereleased. When I send someone like,
hey, this is going to be whenyour episode is coming out. They're
always like, well, not always,but in these instances, like yours
was right around your ninthanniversary of that super random
(10:08):
someone, the one that came outthis week was the day of the day
after their birthday. Youknow, like, all these events have,
like, I don't know,serendipity playing role in. In the
release of these episodes.It's so weird. But congratulations
on your 10 years of sober living.
Yes. Very exciting.
Did that milestone hit you inany different way? Because I sometimes
(10:31):
think in society, we think 10.Ooh, it's big.
It was, like, extremelyuneventful. I was away for my sister's
bachelorette party weekend,and the weekend was about her, so
I didn't even remind anybody.I didn't even bring it up, other
than a text from, like, mybest friend since fourth grade who
(10:52):
congratulated me on it. Youknow, I didn't put it out there.
I didn't talk about it. Sonobody even really. It kind of went.
You know, the day went onquietly, and it was kind of nice
to, like, reflect back on thatand realize that, like, this is where
I. Like, this is where I amnow. I'm just a person who doesn't
drink. Like, this isn't even abig deal.
You know, it's not somethingthat we need to, like, put another
(11:15):
line in the sand so thateveryone can see it. See, I made
it another one.
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, yearsone and two, those were the big deals.
Right.
But even still, you know,someone like you that you said, you
know, you had this high bottomof, you know, you were done and sure
you liked it, but you stillknew that it wasn't serving your
(11:38):
life in the way that maybe youwanted it to.
Yeah, for sure.
So I think that's. I thinkthat's important. You know, with
these. With these particularbonus episodes, I have, like, a grouping
of questions, and the next oneI don't think you're going to have
an answer to, but I was goingto ask, are there any updates about
your life since we recordedand you've already mentioned a few.
(12:01):
Yeah. So other life. Lifeshifts. Right. Just since the episode
released Divorce, I moved outof my house. And I actually just
recently purchased a house onmy own. Thank you. And the day that
I got my keys, I found out Iwas being laid off. Tech job. I don't
(12:23):
mean to laugh.
This is terrible of me.
No, it's good, because if youcan't laugh about it, then, like.
But seriously. And so I hadplanned a trip to go visit my partner
who lives in Australia. That'sthe other thing is I. I ended up
with someone who lives in a.Not just another country, literally
the farthest place you could,but, like, the furthest place on
(12:44):
the planet that you couldpossibly live from Ohio. And so,
like, I, you know, I went tomeet him and his kids in February
and that was great andwonderful. And I was planning to
go back this summer with mykid and so that everybody could meet.
And then I had to cancel thetrip because I got laid off and I
needed the money, obviously,so. But then he had a lot of personal
(13:06):
stuff going on, like anythingyou can imagine as well. So it's
just been, you know, one thingafter another. And then like, you
know, I get laid off from myjob and a week later my son gives
me strep throat. And on theway home from urgent care, my check
engine light is coming on. Soit's just, you know, it's just the
piling of stuff right nowthat's a bit intense. But, you know,
(13:29):
it's not my first time beinglaid off, so it'll be fine.
I mean, I think so as well.And like you said that if you can
get through this and you canget through all these events without
drinking and without kind ofresorting back to a long time ago
version of you.
Yes, you'll be okay.
And I, I always see, like,your posts on LinkedIn and you're
(13:52):
very positive in that sense.Is that something that you've always
kind of been more on the, thelighter, more positive, look at the
bright side kind of feeling,or is that more of a LinkedIn thing?
I feel, I don't. It'sdefinitely not a LinkedIn thing.
I think it's more of like a megetting older thing because, you
(14:13):
know, I was just talking withmy, my life coach yesterday and she
was like, I'm really proud ofyou. Like, you're doing really well.
You're really optimistic andhappy and like, and, you know, I
was joking with my partner.I'm like, I don't know if maybe I'm
on the verge of a nervousbreakdown or I'm just old enough
where I'm just largely unfazedby these things at this point because,
(14:35):
like, it's just life, right?And, you know, I. When I first was
laid off at the beginning ofCOVID it was like, devastating and
it was, you know, the worstthing that had ever happened to me.
But my podcast came out ofthat and would never have happened
if I didn't get laid off. So,you know, I'm able to now see in
(14:57):
hindsight that, like, beinglaid off doesn't necessarily mean
that, you know, you're goingto have to live in a van down by
the river.
It can mean which could be cool.
Which. Yeah, I mean, if that'syour thing, if you're into the tiny
houses, go for it. But, youknow, like, it's. You know, it can.
It can be. It can be a goodthing. It can be, like, for me, it's.
(15:21):
It's a forced period of restbecause I was on the verge of burnout
anyway, so I'm being forcedto, like, take a step back and reflect
and relax and things likethat. But I will say there was, like,
a period of two days therewhere I was, like, super, super depressed
and was like, really, youknow, of course. Right. Like, where
(15:44):
I was like, how am I gonna payfor this new house? Like, I couldn't
even stand to be in it. Like,I kept going back to my old apartment,
and I wouldn't even set footin the new house because I was just
so angry and upset. And therewas, like, a couple of flashes where
I was like, how do I get ridof this feeling of desperation right
now? And I was like, well, Icould drink. That would definitely
(16:05):
get rid of it. So that nevergoes away, right? Like, it's fleeting.
Because then, like, you know,I laugh at it, and I'm like, really?
That's. That's the answer?
That's your solution?
No. You know, but it's likethat. It's still that fleeting moment
where it pops into your headand you go, well, I could drink,
you know.
(16:25):
Well, unfortunately, that'ssociety's answer to. To a lot of
problems, for sure. Yeah. And,you know, it. Unfortunately, it is
what it is. I have a. APatreon supporter and a really great
friend who has been dying forme to follow up with you and see
what's happening in your life,because they. Their family members
(16:48):
or they had a family memberthat had an addiction to. To alcohol,
and they kind of grew uparound that. And I think maybe your
story and understanding thatyou were a mother and you were so
proud of the fact that, youknow, he's never seen you in that
way and that that wassomething to. That you celebrated
(17:10):
in your own kind of journey isthat you felt proud, right, that
your. Your son hadn't seen youin the ways that maybe. I think you
said maybe you're a nephew ora niece or someone had seen my nieces.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
And so they were like, oh, youhave to follow up and see. And see
where she is. I want to seewhere this touch point is. And that's
what I love about thisadditional kind of component of the
(17:34):
life shift. Is it, like Givesme an excuse to come back and. And
drop into someone's life.
Yeah.
And see what's happening. AndI knew when we. When the episode
came out that your life wasalready kind of changing, you know,
in that sense. But I didn'tknow when we recorded. And. And that
is what I've learnedthroughout a lot of these conversations.
And I think I knew this. Well,I definitely knew this. That people
(17:55):
don't just have one lifeshift. Of course, life is about pivots
and whatnot. And, you know, asmuch as I do try to focus on. Okay,
what was, like, the mostsignificant pivot. You've had multiple
sins. You're a differentperson than you were even a year
ago. And I think that's thenice part about. About storytelling.
(18:16):
Have you. Did you. Besideyour. Your new partner, giving you
the feedback of beinguncomfortable listening to your story?
Did you. Did you hear fromanyone or any kind of feedback after
your episode came out?
I think the general consensus.I don't think anyone personally close
to me listened to it. I'mupset that I know of. Or they didn't
(18:38):
tell me if they did. Right.Maybe they did, because I think I
shared it on Instagram, somaybe they did. But I got a lot of,
like, of the. You're so bravefor sharing your story on the Internet
for every God and everyone,basically. Right. And I just. I always
think that. So sometimes Ifeel as though it's a backwards compliment
(19:05):
in a way that, like, I'm doingit to seem brave when really that's
not the case. Like, it's just,I. You know, I had a super proud
mom moment the other day. Iwas driving in the car with my kiddo,
and I forget what we weretalking about. And he was like, I
(19:25):
just want to help people, Mom.That's all I want to do. I just want
to help people. And, like, itresonated with me so much. Like,
I was like, he didn't see me.I'm, like, crying in the. While I'm
driving. Right. And I'm like,me too, buddy. Me too. And, like,
that's really just. It islike, I found that the best way to
help people is to share yourstory and to be genuine and to be
(19:47):
authentic and to not pretendthat, like, our lives are these perfect
things. And. And, you know,so, like, when people say, oh, that's
so brave of you, it's justkind of like, I'm kind of like, I
guess. But it's just the. It'salso like, my coping mechanism when
I am feeling imposter syndromeor stressed or overwhelmed. Like,
(20:13):
helping other people helps meto feel better, you know, But I think.
In a way, yeah, I mean, ithelps you, essentially. I mean, I
think that. And we were in asimilar generation. I think that
we grew up conditioned that wedon't share those parts. Yeah, we
don't share the mistakes. Wedon't share, you know, when things
(20:33):
go wrong or a character flawthat someone might perceive as a
flaw. It was just yourexperience. And, you know, luckily
you got out of an experiencethat maybe could have gone really
badly.
Yeah.
You know, so I agree withthat. I think there is so much power
in telling your story. And I,I mean, it is, I guess I agree with
(20:55):
you. It is brave, but onlybecause we were conditioned a certain
way growing up.
For sure. Yeah. I think if youasked like the younger generation,
like, if they think it's bravefor people to share their story on
the Internet, they'd be like,no, are you kidding me? I just shared
my whole life on Tick Tocklast week, you know.
(21:17):
Exactly, exactly. And it's,you know, it's, it's we're doing
this now or I'm doing thisshow now in hopes that one person
out there hears an episode andis like, oh, I thought I was the
only person and I'm not, orit's possible, or someone's on the
other side waving and beinglike, look, it's fine over here.
(21:39):
You can do the thing. Or, youknow, you will survive this moment.
It feels really dark andreally scary and whatnot at this
point, but we can get there,you know, Like, I think of myself
in this instance of like whenI was 8 and no one around me knew
how to help a kid who justlost his mom and didn't want to talk
(22:01):
about it. I felt like I wasthe only one. And I took on the responsibility
of proving that I was going tobe okay to everyone around me. So
then, then became theperformative pretending that I was,
everything was fine. And so Ithink, you know, I'm kind of doing
all these conversations andhaving these conversations out there
for that little eight year oldof me that was like, felt very alone.
(22:23):
And so in your story, someone,you know, that might be like, do
I really need to drink? Do Ireally need this in my life? And
they hear like, yeah, you wereable to do it in a quick shot because
a lot of people might beafraid, like, what if I am going
to go through withdrawals? AmI going to do this, that or the other?
And then they hear your story.And they're like, oh, well, maybe
it is possible.
Or they're like, oh, it's notthat. My drinking's not that bad.
(22:46):
Like, do I really need toquit? And it's like, but what do
you have to lose, you know,other than, like, the societal, you
know, pressures and. And justso crazy junk that comes along with
drinking.
When you listen to pod, I knowyou have a podcast that's all about
learning and development, and.And you talk to other experts, and
(23:08):
you have your solo episodes,which I assume you record the night
before when you feel like youhad to release an episode. What other
kind of podcasts do you listen to?
I don't. Do you don't listento podcasts? No, I really don't because
I have so many studentpodcasts to listen to throughout
(23:30):
my semester that I'm usuallyjust listening to those projects.
And it's also been like, Covidwas the podcast killer for me because
my commutes were where Ilistened to podcasts mostly. So now
it'll be like, I'll catch aquick, like, 2x while I'm, like,
cleaning or something. Buttypically, it's mostly just, like,
(23:53):
people I know who havepodcasts like yours or my friend
Clea just started a podcast,and so I'm just, like, listening
to, like, random episodes totry and.
Yeah, be a good friend, helpus with those numbers. You know,
I understand that there's somany. I feel like now the more that
I get in this space, the morepeople I meet, you know, because
(24:15):
I. With. With another friend,we created this little, like, virtual
community. We have littlemixers every two weeks, and we all
get on zoom and talk about ourexperiences and give each other,
you know, ideas and. Andwhatnot as it relates. And so then
my queue gets really large,and then I feel like I'm behind,
and then I feel reallypressured to listen. So maybe you're
(24:36):
onto something.
Yeah, I just leave, like, the.The, like, new episode dot on the
Google podcast. It's just onall of the.
You're the only one that usesGoogle podcast.
I know I am.
They don't even show it insearch anymore.
I don't. Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I only. I only use. Iuse something other than the regular
(24:56):
ones. But I was wondering if,like, any kind of stories, particularly,
do you gravitate to in maybeeven in learning and development,
are there certain types ofstories that you prefer to hear or
that you connect with more? Oris it more, like, instructional,
more foundational?
I think this. I think thestories, period. Right. Like, the
(25:16):
how is this person doing thisthing? Like that, I guess in L and
D would call them, like, usecases, right? Maybe of like, what
is this person doing for theirsolution? Or like, what is. I did
catch, like maybe 60 or 70% ofthe episode that you just dropped
today because I saw the clipon LinkedIn and I was like, oh, Jenny,
(25:40):
we could talk. We could havesome serious conversations about
right where I was about thistime last year.
Yeah. Well, I won't give youthe end away, but it's a good ending.
She has a good ending. So do I.
So do I.
And it's similar to yours,actually. It's her new part. She
just moved to Scotland, sothere's that.
(26:01):
So it's even more. Oh, mygosh. Yeah, I didn't get to that
part. I know. Like, I got tothe part where she was like, could
have been a road in Scotland.I was like, this must be foreshadowing.
But I'm not sure what yet. Butyeah, no, that's. Yeah. I love the
story. Like, I like you, maybenot as much. I like you, maybe not
(26:22):
as much, maybe not as much asyou are, but I, like you, am a story
collector. And I love to just,like, you know, and I gravitate towards
those as people too. Like, mypartner, like, loves to collect people's
stories. Like, he can't getenough of, like, talking to people
(26:42):
and random strangers and like,reading, like, just stories about
people's lives, you know. Andlike, we're both. I think that's
something that, like, connectsus, is that we're both like big story
collectors, actors, you know?
Well, and I think that's. I. Ifeel like people in our generation
that are kind of like openingtheir eyes in the last five, 10 years
of are like, oh, like, we needto start sharing those. Like I said
(27:05):
before, we need to startsharing the real parts of us and
just being. I hate the wordauthentic, but just being like, real
people. Because for so long itwas like, guys, I got into this college,
guys, I have a 4.0, guys, Igot this job. I. I got promoted,
you know, and those were theonly things we were sharing for so
long. And now it's like, guys,I have a drinking problem, or, you
(27:27):
know, whatever it may be.Yeah, and that's okay.
It's weird. Like, I see allthis stuff on social media all the
time about, like, breakinggenerational trauma and. But, like,
honestly, I think that that'slike, what a lot of us are trying
to do is like, we see howemotionally unavailable the adults
(27:50):
in our lives were when we werecoming up and what that did to us.
And like, we went through itlike, you know, Columbine, 9, 11.
You know, there's those listsof like, here's all the shit that
millennials have livedthrough. Right. And like, why are
we upset? And like, but whyare we also not phased? And why are
(28:10):
we also like, go ahead, dowhatever you want. Like, nothing
phases us anymore.
But I think that's, that'shaving an impact. I mean, you can
see it directly in theconversation or the example that
you just gave of your son isthat, you know, whatever you're putting
into the world and that he'sseeing and absorbing, he now wants
(28:30):
to help others. So I mean,you're already breaking it.
So in touch with his emotions.
Good.
And I wasn't allowed sharinghow he feels and. Yeah, and like,
you know, it's. He's got a lotof emotions, so it can be hard. But
you know, I think it'simportant that we stop just trying
(28:52):
to smush all of kids emotionsback into them.
Well, and I think he'sexperiencing a lot of things that
a lot of people canunderstand. You know, his parents
have now separated and nowhe's seeing that they can be two
separate humans and they canand live different worlds and lives.
And you're around to help himnavigate that. And I think that's
(29:13):
important. So I thank you forsharing your story and being quote,
unquote, brave enough to shareyour story on your students podcast
and you know, just coming andhaving a genuine conversation. It's
super helpful if someone waslike on the fence about they had
a similar story to yours orthey had something that they've never
really told any. Anyone. Canyou give any advice to someone that's
(29:36):
kind of like itching but stilla little bit afraid about telling
a story?
I would, I would tell themthis is very specific niche advice.
But I just thought ofsomething I watched last night. So
I've been binge watching theGreat Pottery Throwdown. There is
an episode in there where thiswoman I'm not gonna be. It's in season
(30:01):
five. Just watch. Watch the.Okay. Episode eight. Season five,
Episode eight. There's a womanwho said that she has had this story
for so very long and shefinally puts it into her pottery
that she makes. And likeeveryone is blown away and like you
just have to watch it to seelike this is the catharsis that can
(30:27):
happen when you finally letthat shit go. So my advice would
be to watch it, to get thesense and understanding, but also
just to say, let that shit go,because the only person that you're
doing damage to by holdingonto it is you.
(30:48):
No, I agree. I mean, it's.Because it's kind of the same thing
with podcasts, you know, like,you hear other people going through
an experience, and you canrelate to that. So, like, watching
this pottery experience, bythe way, I saw that you wanted to
try throwing pottery. It'snot. It's not very easy, I've heard.
That's why I haven't done it yet.
I did it in Colorado for acouple months, and I made some really
(31:12):
thick pots, you know, butit's. It's. It's a good experience.
It's something. But you willfail, most likely many times before
you do it. And I think that'sa good experience in itself to learn,
you know, eventually you canget it. So thank you for that advice.
Thank you for letting shit go.Thank you for letting shit go on
the podcast and on the Patreonfeed. And I just appreciate you and
(31:35):
the fact that our pathscrossed a little over a year ago.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Thank you. And those of youlistening, you are on the Patreon
tier. Thank you for supportingthe show. And a new bonus episode
will be out in about threeweeks. So thanks again, and we'll
see you later. Heidi.
(31:58):
Foreign.
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess, warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast. But I used tohave other tiers where people were
so generous and were offeringadditional money each month to get
(00:41):
bonus episodes and possiblewinnings of T shirts and all sorts
of things. And then I realizeda couple months ago that I wasn't
able to deliver what I wantedto, especially for those of you that
were giving me the extra money.
So right now we're just kind of.
Doing the early episodes.You'll always get those. So if you
want to support the Life Shiftpodcast, please jump over to patreon.com
(01:02):
forward/thelifeshiftpodpodcast and you can find that information
there. But I come on herebecause I want to share a series
of these bonus episodes that Idid early on in the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests. So Iwould go back and we would have a
(01:23):
conversation about theexperience of sharing their story
on the Life Shift podcast.Catch up on anything. And I think
these are super important andI know most of them did not see the
light of day from outside ofthe Patreon. So I'm going to be dropping
these episodes. Whateveryou're listening to now is another
episode. So I'm going to usethe same intro for all of them. But
(01:45):
here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
the Life Shift podcast. And ifyou like this, let me know because
I'm thinking of bringing someof this back and talking to previous
guests as I go into year four.So enjoy this bonus episode that
was once released on thePatreon feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooly and this isthe Life Shift candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal moments thathave changed lives forever. I am
here with my former guest,Heidi. Hey. Heidi.
Hey.
And you're also my former instructor.
(02:30):
Yes.
And it's your fault that thepodcast exists.
It is. It is my fault.
Yay. We were just reminiscingabout the class and we were talking
a little bit about podcastingand how there are different rules
for every podcast. And so, youknow, it's interesting to have a
class. I'm so thankful. Justbefore we get into your story, I'm
(02:51):
so thankful that I opted totake the Art of Podcasting because
it was, you know, it was anelective, and it scared me.
Yeah, I remember.
And I was. But I was like. Andthen when we got into it, I was like,
well, why would I do this for,like, fake. Why wouldn't I do this
for real? Do you know if therewere any other people? I have. How
(03:14):
many students in your classeshave, like, launched officially?
There have been a lot thatsaid they were going to. And I always,
like, comment on, like, theirlast discussion post, like, tell
me where to find it when youdo launch it. And you're the only
person who actually has toldme. So I don't know. Maybe they have,
and they just, like, don'tcare if I know about it or not, you
(03:35):
know, but. And some peoplehave come into the class who already
have a podcast, but they kindof just, like, did it themselves,
and they want a little bitmore, like, structure, and they want
to, like, figure it out alittle bit more and have, like, more
consistent branding, sothey'll do that. But, like, I'm pretty
sure you're. Yeah. You're thebiggest success story from the class.
(03:56):
I don't know about success,but I feel like this is the best
journey that I've been on, andif I get nothing else from the degree
program, I'm so happy that Istumbled into it because I didn't
know how much I needed this.It just felt like, I don't know.
Before you get into a spacelike this, and especially with the
life shift, it's, you know,obviously I'm dealing with very personal
(04:16):
conversations with people, butyou kind of look at podcasting from
an outsider's perspective as,like, performative. Like, oh, that
person just wants to be heard.
Yeah.
But then when you're in it,it's a completely different vibe,
and you kind of just, like.It's something you just can't understand
until you do it.
Yeah. Yeah, well. And I think.I think that also means that you've
(04:40):
understood it. I do stillhave, like, a lot of students who
think that they can just getaway with, like, was sitting down
with a friend and talkingabout nothing for 45 minutes. And
no matter how much I'm like,listen, nobody wants to hear you
talk about nothing unlessyou're a celebrity or an influencer.
They just, you know.
Exactly.
Hear it.
(05:00):
Yeah. I tell people that allthe time that want to start podcasts.
I'm like, you know, the bestthing I did was be forced to go through
the process, to go through thepre launch process. You know, even
still, like making consideringtarget audience Personas in my head.
It's funny because I look atwhat I did in, in our class and then
(05:21):
I'll look at like the Applestatistics or like the analytics.
Yeah.
And it's. That's my Persona.Like, it's the person. And you know,
and I think a lot of peopledon't go into any project with like,
or a lot of people don't gointo. It's too much work to do the
prep. Let's just get startedand then we'll figure it out as we
go. But I think there was somuch benefit in, in just kind of
(05:44):
taking it piece by piece andthen, you know, launching it. So
thank you for that experience.Thank you for not shutting down this
idea and you know, encouragingme to do it because it, it truly
is one of the most fulfillingthings that I've ever done. And so
thank you.
Yeah, of course. I'm glad.
And you were a part of it, sothank you for that as well. You were
(06:06):
episode 19 and before westarted recording at this moment
in time, I have 86 episodesrecorded. So there. A lot has happened
with the Life Shift podcastsince we recorded your episode in
June. That was just like ayear ago, June 2022. And then your
episode came out in July of2022. And so your episode was really
(06:28):
about your journey to sobrietyand kind of those last moments leading
up to when you were just like,no more, I'm done. I know you've
probably shared this storypublicly with a lot of people. Was
there any, like, through ourconversation, was there, was there
any feelings that you hadafter you kind of let it out in this
(06:49):
here's my former studentspodcast that I'm about to put out
there into the world.
So it's interesting because werecorded that at like a very. Well,
we recorded it right before Itold my now ex husband I wanted to
get a divorce and it releasedright after. And shortly after that,
(07:11):
you know, I, we both alreadyhad new partners and I remember my
new partner went and listenedto our episode and was like, I feel
really awkward about you, liketaught like thanking your husband
and like, you know, this andthat. And I'm like, yeah, but that
was like 10, you know, thatwas like 10 years ago. And you can
(07:34):
still be grateful to somebodyfor what they meant in Your life
at that point. Point. And youknow, like, I'm still grateful to
him for helping me findsobriety, but it doesn't necessarily
mean that, like, it's workingtoday. Right. So it was at like a
very pivotal time. And I thinkhaving the conversation made me also
(07:54):
realize that, like, I didthat, right. Like, I can get through
anything. Divorce, job loss,you know, you know, you name whatever's
happened since then and like,you know, if you can get through
it without drinking, like, youcan get through anything.
Yeah. And yours was sointeresting to me because I think
a lot of people have thislike, long circuitous route to finding
(08:19):
that last drink. And yoursfelt very, like in your story, felt
very abrupt, if. If that's agood word too.
Yeah, they call it a high bottom.
I mean, good for you.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, I thinkI get uncomfortable with things a
lot sooner than other people.Like with my divorce. Right. Like,
(08:41):
I was like, this needs to end.It's not working for me. And my now
ex husband was like, well,let's work it out. Let's figure,
you know. And I was like, no,no, you don't understand. Like, if
we try to keep at this and itdoesn't work out, I'm going to resent
you even more. And we're goingto be like those, you know, those
two parents, we had just goneto a friend's wedding where his parents
(09:03):
wouldn't even speak to eachother at the wedding. And so he couldn't
even like walk down the aislewith both of them. Like, he kind
of wanted to and like, youknow, he couldn't even have them
at the same table. And so Iwas like, I don't want to be those
parents for our son. You know,we have to do end this now while
things are still amicable andwe're at that place. So I do have
(09:25):
a history of like making bigchanges when I'm slightly uncomfortable
as opposed to very uncomfortable.
There's something to be saidfor that because you just said that
you just passed the ten yearmark, right?
Yeah, yeah. July 15th was tenyears sober for me. Yeah.
Congratulations. I remember.Yeah, we released it and this has
(09:48):
been a very weird experiencethat I've had more than 10 times
now in the episodes that I'vereleased. When I send someone like,
hey, this is going to be whenyour episode is coming out. They're
always like, well, not always,but in these instances, like yours
was right around your ninthanniversary of that super random
(10:08):
someone, the one that came outthis week was the day of the day
after their birthday. Youknow, like, all these events have,
like, I don't know,serendipity playing role in. In the
release of these episodes.It's so weird. But congratulations
on your 10 years of sober living.
Yes. Very exciting.
Did that milestone hit you inany different way? Because I sometimes
(10:31):
think in society, we think 10.Ooh, it's big.
It was, like, extremelyuneventful. I was away for my sister's
bachelorette party weekend,and the weekend was about her, so
I didn't even remind anybody.I didn't even bring it up, other
than a text from, like, mybest friend since fourth grade who
(10:52):
congratulated me on it. Youknow, I didn't put it out there.
I didn't talk about it. Sonobody even really. It kind of went.
You know, the day went onquietly, and it was kind of nice
to, like, reflect back on thatand realize that, like, this is where
I. Like, this is where I amnow. I'm just a person who doesn't
drink. Like, this isn't even abig deal.
You know, it's not somethingthat we need to, like, put another
(11:15):
line in the sand so thateveryone can see it. See, I made
it another one.
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, yearsone and two, those were the big deals.
Right.
But even still, you know,someone like you that you said, you
know, you had this high bottomof, you know, you were done and sure
you liked it, but you stillknew that it wasn't serving your
(11:38):
life in the way that maybe youwanted it to.
Yeah, for sure.
So I think that's. I thinkthat's important. You know, with
these. With these particularbonus episodes, I have, like, a grouping
of questions, and the next oneI don't think you're going to have
an answer to, but I was goingto ask, are there any updates about
your life since we recordedand you've already mentioned a few.
(12:01):
Yeah. So other life. Lifeshifts. Right. Just since the episode
released Divorce, I moved outof my house. And I actually just
recently purchased a house onmy own. Thank you. And the day that
I got my keys, I found out Iwas being laid off. Tech job. I don't
(12:23):
mean to laugh.
This is terrible of me.
No, it's good, because if youcan't laugh about it, then, like.
But seriously. And so I hadplanned a trip to go visit my partner
who lives in Australia. That'sthe other thing is I. I ended up
with someone who lives in a.Not just another country, literally
the farthest place you could,but, like, the furthest place on
(12:44):
the planet that you couldpossibly live from Ohio. And so,
like, I, you know, I went tomeet him and his kids in February
and that was great andwonderful. And I was planning to
go back this summer with mykid and so that everybody could meet.
And then I had to cancel thetrip because I got laid off and I
needed the money, obviously,so. But then he had a lot of personal
(13:06):
stuff going on, like anythingyou can imagine as well. So it's
just been, you know, one thingafter another. And then like, you
know, I get laid off from myjob and a week later my son gives
me strep throat. And on theway home from urgent care, my check
engine light is coming on. Soit's just, you know, it's just the
piling of stuff right nowthat's a bit intense. But, you know,
(13:29):
it's not my first time beinglaid off, so it'll be fine.
I mean, I think so as well.And like you said that if you can
get through this and you canget through all these events without
drinking and without kind ofresorting back to a long time ago
version of you.
Yes, you'll be okay.
And I, I always see, like,your posts on LinkedIn and you're
(13:52):
very positive in that sense.Is that something that you've always
kind of been more on the, thelighter, more positive, look at the
bright side kind of feeling,or is that more of a LinkedIn thing?
I feel, I don't. It'sdefinitely not a LinkedIn thing.
I think it's more of like a megetting older thing because, you
(14:13):
know, I was just talking withmy, my life coach yesterday and she
was like, I'm really proud ofyou. Like, you're doing really well.
You're really optimistic andhappy and like, and, you know, I
was joking with my partner.I'm like, I don't know if maybe I'm
on the verge of a nervousbreakdown or I'm just old enough
where I'm just largely unfazedby these things at this point because,
(14:35):
like, it's just life, right?And, you know, I. When I first was
laid off at the beginning ofCOVID it was like, devastating and
it was, you know, the worstthing that had ever happened to me.
But my podcast came out ofthat and would never have happened
if I didn't get laid off. So,you know, I'm able to now see in
(14:57):
hindsight that, like, beinglaid off doesn't necessarily mean
that, you know, you're goingto have to live in a van down by
the river.
It can mean which could be cool.
Which. Yeah, I mean, if that'syour thing, if you're into the tiny
houses, go for it. But, youknow, like, it's. You know, it can.
It can be. It can be a goodthing. It can be, like, for me, it's.
(15:21):
It's a forced period of restbecause I was on the verge of burnout
anyway, so I'm being forcedto, like, take a step back and reflect
and relax and things likethat. But I will say there was, like,
a period of two days therewhere I was, like, super, super depressed
and was like, really, youknow, of course. Right. Like, where
(15:44):
I was like, how am I gonna payfor this new house? Like, I couldn't
even stand to be in it. Like,I kept going back to my old apartment,
and I wouldn't even set footin the new house because I was just
so angry and upset. And therewas, like, a couple of flashes where
I was like, how do I get ridof this feeling of desperation right
now? And I was like, well, Icould drink. That would definitely
(16:05):
get rid of it. So that nevergoes away, right? Like, it's fleeting.
Because then, like, you know,I laugh at it, and I'm like, really?
That's. That's the answer?
That's your solution?
No. You know, but it's likethat. It's still that fleeting moment
where it pops into your headand you go, well, I could drink,
you know.
(16:25):
Well, unfortunately, that'ssociety's answer to. To a lot of
problems, for sure. Yeah. And,you know, it. Unfortunately, it is
what it is. I have a. APatreon supporter and a really great
friend who has been dying forme to follow up with you and see
what's happening in your life,because they. Their family members
(16:48):
or they had a family memberthat had an addiction to. To alcohol,
and they kind of grew uparound that. And I think maybe your
story and understanding thatyou were a mother and you were so
proud of the fact that, youknow, he's never seen you in that
way and that that wassomething to. That you celebrated
(17:10):
in your own kind of journey isthat you felt proud, right, that
your. Your son hadn't seen youin the ways that maybe. I think you
said maybe you're a nephew ora niece or someone had seen my nieces.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
And so they were like, oh, youhave to follow up and see. And see
where she is. I want to seewhere this touch point is. And that's
what I love about thisadditional kind of component of the
(17:34):
life shift. Is it, like Givesme an excuse to come back and. And
drop into someone's life.
Yeah.
And see what's happening. AndI knew when we. When the episode
came out that your life wasalready kind of changing, you know,
in that sense. But I didn'tknow when we recorded. And. And that
is what I've learnedthroughout a lot of these conversations.
And I think I knew this. Well,I definitely knew this. That people
(17:55):
don't just have one lifeshift. Of course, life is about pivots
and whatnot. And, you know, asmuch as I do try to focus on. Okay,
what was, like, the mostsignificant pivot. You've had multiple
sins. You're a differentperson than you were even a year
ago. And I think that's thenice part about. About storytelling.
(18:16):
Have you. Did you. Besideyour. Your new partner, giving you
the feedback of beinguncomfortable listening to your story?
Did you. Did you hear fromanyone or any kind of feedback after
your episode came out?
I think the general consensus.I don't think anyone personally close
to me listened to it. I'mupset that I know of. Or they didn't
(18:38):
tell me if they did. Right.Maybe they did, because I think I
shared it on Instagram, somaybe they did. But I got a lot of,
like, of the. You're so bravefor sharing your story on the Internet
for every God and everyone,basically. Right. And I just. I always
think that. So sometimes Ifeel as though it's a backwards compliment
(19:05):
in a way that, like, I'm doingit to seem brave when really that's
not the case. Like, it's just,I. You know, I had a super proud
mom moment the other day. Iwas driving in the car with my kiddo,
and I forget what we weretalking about. And he was like, I
(19:25):
just want to help people, Mom.That's all I want to do. I just want
to help people. And, like, itresonated with me so much. Like,
I was like, he didn't see me.I'm, like, crying in the. While I'm
driving. Right. And I'm like,me too, buddy. Me too. And, like,
that's really just. It islike, I found that the best way to
help people is to share yourstory and to be genuine and to be
(19:47):
authentic and to not pretendthat, like, our lives are these perfect
things. And. And, you know,so, like, when people say, oh, that's
so brave of you, it's justkind of like, I'm kind of like, I
guess. But it's just the. It'salso like, my coping mechanism when
I am feeling imposter syndromeor stressed or overwhelmed. Like,
(20:13):
helping other people helps meto feel better, you know, But I think.
In a way, yeah, I mean, ithelps you, essentially. I mean, I
think that. And we were in asimilar generation. I think that
we grew up conditioned that wedon't share those parts. Yeah, we
don't share the mistakes. Wedon't share, you know, when things
(20:33):
go wrong or a character flawthat someone might perceive as a
flaw. It was just yourexperience. And, you know, luckily
you got out of an experiencethat maybe could have gone really
badly.
Yeah.
You know, so I agree withthat. I think there is so much power
in telling your story. And I,I mean, it is, I guess I agree with
(20:55):
you. It is brave, but onlybecause we were conditioned a certain
way growing up.
For sure. Yeah. I think if youasked like the younger generation,
like, if they think it's bravefor people to share their story on
the Internet, they'd be like,no, are you kidding me? I just shared
my whole life on Tick Tocklast week, you know.
(21:17):
Exactly, exactly. And it's,you know, it's, it's we're doing
this now or I'm doing thisshow now in hopes that one person
out there hears an episode andis like, oh, I thought I was the
only person and I'm not, orit's possible, or someone's on the
other side waving and beinglike, look, it's fine over here.
(21:39):
You can do the thing. Or, youknow, you will survive this moment.
It feels really dark andreally scary and whatnot at this
point, but we can get there,you know, Like, I think of myself
in this instance of like whenI was 8 and no one around me knew
how to help a kid who justlost his mom and didn't want to talk
(22:01):
about it. I felt like I wasthe only one. And I took on the responsibility
of proving that I was going tobe okay to everyone around me. So
then, then became theperformative pretending that I was,
everything was fine. And so Ithink, you know, I'm kind of doing
all these conversations andhaving these conversations out there
for that little eight year oldof me that was like, felt very alone.
(22:23):
And so in your story, someone,you know, that might be like, do
I really need to drink? Do Ireally need this in my life? And
they hear like, yeah, you wereable to do it in a quick shot because
a lot of people might beafraid, like, what if I am going
to go through withdrawals? AmI going to do this, that or the other?
And then they hear your story.And they're like, oh, well, maybe
it is possible.
Or they're like, oh, it's notthat. My drinking's not that bad.
(22:46):
Like, do I really need toquit? And it's like, but what do
you have to lose, you know,other than, like, the societal, you
know, pressures and. And justso crazy junk that comes along with
drinking.
When you listen to pod, I knowyou have a podcast that's all about
learning and development, and.And you talk to other experts, and
(23:08):
you have your solo episodes,which I assume you record the night
before when you feel like youhad to release an episode. What other
kind of podcasts do you listen to?
I don't. Do you don't listento podcasts? No, I really don't because
I have so many studentpodcasts to listen to throughout
(23:30):
my semester that I'm usuallyjust listening to those projects.
And it's also been like, Covidwas the podcast killer for me because
my commutes were where Ilistened to podcasts mostly. So now
it'll be like, I'll catch aquick, like, 2x while I'm, like,
cleaning or something. Buttypically, it's mostly just, like,
(23:53):
people I know who havepodcasts like yours or my friend
Clea just started a podcast,and so I'm just, like, listening
to, like, random episodes totry and.
Yeah, be a good friend, helpus with those numbers. You know,
I understand that there's somany. I feel like now the more that
I get in this space, the morepeople I meet, you know, because
(24:15):
I. With. With another friend,we created this little, like, virtual
community. We have littlemixers every two weeks, and we all
get on zoom and talk about ourexperiences and give each other,
you know, ideas and. Andwhatnot as it relates. And so then
my queue gets really large,and then I feel like I'm behind,
and then I feel reallypressured to listen. So maybe you're
(24:36):
onto something.
Yeah, I just leave, like, the.The, like, new episode dot on the
Google podcast. It's just onall of the.
You're the only one that usesGoogle podcast.
I know I am.
They don't even show it insearch anymore.
I don't. Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I only. I only use. Iuse something other than the regular
(24:56):
ones. But I was wondering if,like, any kind of stories, particularly,
do you gravitate to in maybeeven in learning and development,
are there certain types ofstories that you prefer to hear or
that you connect with more? Oris it more, like, instructional,
more foundational?
I think this. I think thestories, period. Right. Like, the
(25:16):
how is this person doing thisthing? Like that, I guess in L and
D would call them, like, usecases, right? Maybe of like, what
is this person doing for theirsolution? Or like, what is. I did
catch, like maybe 60 or 70% ofthe episode that you just dropped
today because I saw the clipon LinkedIn and I was like, oh, Jenny,
(25:40):
we could talk. We could havesome serious conversations about
right where I was about thistime last year.
Yeah. Well, I won't give youthe end away, but it's a good ending.
She has a good ending. So do I.
So do I.
And it's similar to yours,actually. It's her new part. She
just moved to Scotland, sothere's that.
(26:01):
So it's even more. Oh, mygosh. Yeah, I didn't get to that
part. I know. Like, I got tothe part where she was like, could
have been a road in Scotland.I was like, this must be foreshadowing.
But I'm not sure what yet. Butyeah, no, that's. Yeah. I love the
story. Like, I like you, maybenot as much. I like you, maybe not
(26:22):
as much, maybe not as much asyou are, but I, like you, am a story
collector. And I love to just,like, you know, and I gravitate towards
those as people too. Like, mypartner, like, loves to collect people's
stories. Like, he can't getenough of, like, talking to people
(26:42):
and random strangers and like,reading, like, just stories about
people's lives, you know. Andlike, we're both. I think that's
something that, like, connectsus, is that we're both like big story
collectors, actors, you know?
Well, and I think that's. I. Ifeel like people in our generation
that are kind of like openingtheir eyes in the last five, 10 years
of are like, oh, like, we needto start sharing those. Like I said
(27:05):
before, we need to startsharing the real parts of us and
just being. I hate the wordauthentic, but just being like, real
people. Because for so long itwas like, guys, I got into this college,
guys, I have a 4.0, guys, Igot this job. I. I got promoted,
you know, and those were theonly things we were sharing for so
long. And now it's like, guys,I have a drinking problem, or, you
(27:27):
know, whatever it may be.Yeah, and that's okay.
It's weird. Like, I see allthis stuff on social media all the
time about, like, breakinggenerational trauma and. But, like,
honestly, I think that that'slike, what a lot of us are trying
to do is like, we see howemotionally unavailable the adults
(27:50):
in our lives were when we werecoming up and what that did to us.
And like, we went through itlike, you know, Columbine, 9, 11.
You know, there's those listsof like, here's all the shit that
millennials have livedthrough. Right. And like, why are
we upset? And like, but whyare we also not phased? And why are
(28:10):
we also like, go ahead, dowhatever you want. Like, nothing
phases us anymore.
But I think that's, that'shaving an impact. I mean, you can
see it directly in theconversation or the example that
you just gave of your son isthat, you know, whatever you're putting
into the world and that he'sseeing and absorbing, he now wants
(28:30):
to help others. So I mean,you're already breaking it.
So in touch with his emotions.
Good.
And I wasn't allowed sharinghow he feels and. Yeah, and like,
you know, it's. He's got a lotof emotions, so it can be hard. But
you know, I think it'simportant that we stop just trying
(28:52):
to smush all of kids emotionsback into them.
Well, and I think he'sexperiencing a lot of things that
a lot of people canunderstand. You know, his parents
have now separated and nowhe's seeing that they can be two
separate humans and they canand live different worlds and lives.
And you're around to help himnavigate that. And I think that's
(29:13):
important. So I thank you forsharing your story and being quote,
unquote, brave enough to shareyour story on your students podcast
and you know, just coming andhaving a genuine conversation. It's
super helpful if someone waslike on the fence about they had
a similar story to yours orthey had something that they've never
really told any. Anyone. Canyou give any advice to someone that's
(29:36):
kind of like itching but stilla little bit afraid about telling
a story?
I would, I would tell themthis is very specific niche advice.
But I just thought ofsomething I watched last night. So
I've been binge watching theGreat Pottery Throwdown. There is
an episode in there where thiswoman I'm not gonna be. It's in season
(30:01):
five. Just watch. Watch the.Okay. Episode eight. Season five,
Episode eight. There's a womanwho said that she has had this story
for so very long and shefinally puts it into her pottery
that she makes. And likeeveryone is blown away and like you
just have to watch it to seelike this is the catharsis that can
(30:27):
happen when you finally letthat shit go. So my advice would
be to watch it, to get thesense and understanding, but also
just to say, let that shit go,because the only person that you're
doing damage to by holdingonto it is you.
(30:48):
No, I agree. I mean, it's.Because it's kind of the same thing
with podcasts, you know, like,you hear other people going through
an experience, and you canrelate to that. So, like, watching
this pottery experience, bythe way, I saw that you wanted to
try throwing pottery. It'snot. It's not very easy, I've heard.
That's why I haven't done it yet.
I did it in Colorado for acouple months, and I made some really
(31:12):
thick pots, you know, butit's. It's. It's a good experience.
It's something. But you willfail, most likely many times before
you do it. And I think that'sa good experience in itself to learn,
you know, eventually you canget it. So thank you for that advice.
Thank you for letting shit go.Thank you for letting shit go on
the podcast and on the Patreonfeed. And I just appreciate you and
(31:35):
the fact that our pathscrossed a little over a year ago.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Thank you. And those of youlistening, you are on the Patreon
tier. Thank you for supportingthe show. And a new bonus episode
will be out in about threeweeks. So thanks again, and we'll
see you later. Heidi.
(31:58):
Foreign.
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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