March 29, 2025 • 31 mins
The Life Shift Rewind
I’m excited to share bonus episodes from Patreon, where I revisited past guests to discuss what has changed and the value of sharing their stories. Since I currently only have the lower tiers available, I wanted to make these conversations accessible to the public feed. If you'd like to support the show directly, please consider joining the $3 or $5 tier on Patreon – www.patreon.com/thelifeshiftpodcast.
Diane Diaz is back on The Life Shift for a bonus episode that digs into the heavy stuff—specifically, the impact of toxic relationships and the journey to reclaiming one’s identity.
We chat about how Diane's experiences shaped her understanding of what it means to carry dead weight and the pivotal moments that pushed her to break free. It’s not just about sharing her story; it's about the realization that many folks feel trapped in their own narratives, and sometimes, it takes a conversation to spark change. Diane emphasizes the importance of storytelling, revealing how her past has equipped her with resilience and empathy, allowing her to help others find their voices.
So, if you’re in a place where you feel stuck, this episode is a must-listen.
Listen to Diane Diaz's full episode on The Life Shift – https://www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/triggered-by-two-words-leaving-a-toxic-relationship-diane-diaz/
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess, warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast. But I used tohave other tiers where people were
so generous and were offeringadditional money each month to get
(00:41):
bonus episodes and possiblewinnings of T shirts and all sorts
of things. And then I realizeda couple months ago that I wasn't
able to deliver what I wantedto, especially for those of you that
were giving me the extramoney. So right now we're just kind
of doing the early episodes.You'll always get those. So if you
want to support the Life Shiftpodcast, please jump over to patreon.com
(01:02):
forward/thelifeshiftpodpodcast and you can find that information
there. But I come on herebecause I want to share a series
of these bonus episodes that Idid early on in the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests. So Iwould go back and we would have a
(01:23):
conversation about theexperience of sharing their story
on the Life Shift podcast.Catch up on anything. And I think
these are super important andI know most of them did not see the
light of day from outside ofthe Patreon. So I'm going to be dropping
these episodes. Whateveryou're listening to now is another
episode. So I'm going to usethe same intro for all of them. But
(01:45):
here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
the Life Shift podcast. And ifyou like this, let me know because
I'm thinking of bringing someof this back and talking to previous
guests as I go into year four.So enjoy this bonus episode that
was once released on thePatreon feed. I'm Matt Gilhooley
(02:07):
and this is the Life Shiftcandid conversations about the pivotal
moments that have changedlives forever. Hey Diane.
Hi.
Hey everyone. Listening. So Iam here with Diane Diaz. And Diane,
(02:28):
you were episode 20, which iskind blowing my mind right now.
I know that's. It seems a longtime ago, doesn't it?
Yeah. We recorded your episodeprobably June of 2022, possibly,
and it was released in July2022. And you were episode 20. And
I just. I think I justrecorded episode 84 or 85 at this
(02:53):
point of recording, and itjust feels like it was yesterday,
but also 100 years ago.
I know, I know. Well, you'llbe hitting 100 episodes soon.
Yeah. Which I'm supposed to dosomething for that, so we'll see.
We were just talking aboutbefore we started recording that,
you know, screw the rules. Youknow, there's a lot of these rules
(03:14):
in podcasting. And so for thePatreon folks, there are. There's
a certain tier that we havethese bonus episodes every couple
weeks where I just returnselfishly to talk to people that
I've already talked to. And alot of these conversations have been
centered around storytelling,which I think is just your jam in
general.
(03:34):
Totally. Absolutely.
And what you do with speakingyour brand and what you do with your
own company and what you do asa teacher. So thinking about that,
you came onto the show andtalked about your experiences in
what we'll call a toxicrelationship with a dead weight by
(03:54):
your side. After telling thatstory, did you have any kind of feelings
of, like, letting that out? Iknow it was probably not the first
time you ever told it, butmaybe it was the first time you told
it in that way.
Well, it definitely wasn't thefirst time I had told that story.
It was the first time in along time that I had told that story.
Because I don't often, youknow, have the chance to talk about
that kind of stuff. I don'tthink I necessarily had any specific
(04:16):
feelings about it. However, Iam the type of person, after I have
any conversation with someone,I'm the type of person who goes back,
and in my mind, I'm like, Idon't know if I would have said that
this way. Maybe I should havesaid that differently. You know,
you do that sort of like, Idon't know why I do that. Nothing
that I wish I hadn't said oranything like that. Just sort of
like a reassessing of, like,how I said things. And so I went
(04:37):
back and listened to theepisode this morning, and I was totally
kind of fine with, like,everything that I said. And I, I,
I did. I did have arealization when I was listening
to it this morning that. Andyou kind of made this point when
we were talking during thepodcast episode. But this idea that
(04:59):
I think you had asked mesomething about, like, what was it
about? The somebody havingsaid dead weight versus other people
had told me before, like, he'sno good you know, like, why didn't
that work? And why did. Whywas dead weight the thing. And I
think it was because I. And Ihad mentioned this. Like, I knew
from a very young age that Ineeded to do something different
(05:19):
than what my mom did because Icouldn't end up in that same situation.
And that idea of dead weightwas the feeling of, it will sink
you to the bottom of the oceanand you'll never get out of this
life that you're living withyour family, over which you have
no control, so you got to dosomething different. So that is what
made me, like, jolted me outof my, I guess, you know, complacency
(05:42):
and, like, okay, this can't bethis way.
Yeah. I mean, it painted apicture for me. I. I certainly felt
like it was. You know, I thinkwe talk a lot about, like, ball and
chain and shackles and thosekind of things, but that idea of
a dead weight, I totallypictured, like, an anvil. Like. Like.
Like roadrunner.
(06:03):
Roadrunner, sty. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
That kind of thing. And, youknow, I think a lot of people are
in that complacency mode for along time because we. We kind of
don't look at the largerpicture of it. We look at it in the
moment. Everything's fine, youknow, it's fine. It'll be fine tomorrow.
You know, there's another goodtime coming. And sometimes it takes
(06:25):
the right words at the righttime for us to kind of make these
changes.
Yeah. And I think, too, that'sa good point. And if you look at
it. If you look at whereyou're at and where, you know you
need or want to go, it seemsso far away and so much needs to
happen before you can getthere. Right. If you look at it that
(06:49):
way, because we don't look atit as like, well, I'll just take
the first step. We don't.We're not rationalizing it that way.
We're like, oh, my God, I justcan't have this life. I need a different
life. Well, that's a big.That's a big change, Especially when
you're a young adult and youdon't have that many options or choices
available to you. So it'slike, well, how do you even make
that change? So it's a good. Imean, obviously, hindsight's 2020
(07:10):
and being much older andhaving done things, I can reflect
on it. But, you know, ifanybody listening to this is young,
it's a good lesson in just.Just take the first step, because
that's all you have to do. SoI just needed to do the one thing
that I could control, whichwas to get out of that relationship.
Well, and I think inrelationships, I think sometimes
(07:31):
we also talk ourselves out ofit because, like, could it be better?
Is there even a. Is this thegood and then there's something worse?
Yes, that's right. And so sucha good point.
It's very scary to take thatfirst step, I think, in anything.
Right. But this, you'redealing with a lot more vulnerability
(07:52):
in emotion and the. And thenif you leave and then need to come
back, then what? You know, andthen there's all this other people
around you. So I think yourepisode was really important. For
those that are inrelationships that, you know, they
feel stuck or they feel likemaybe something could be better,
(08:13):
that maybe there is somethingthat they can do to at least regain
some of. Of that independenceor control over your. Over their
lives. But I think a lot ofyours really stem to your childhood,
for sure.
Like you said, 100%. Yeah.
You know, thinking of your.Your mom's situation and even your
situation as a child in. Inthat relationship of your parents,
(08:37):
or lack thereof, you know,there was a lot of trauma that probably
came along with you that atthat moment was like, all right,
we're good. Let's go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funnyhow you just. The trauma sort of
directs you and then you getto a point. And, I mean, not everybody
probably gets to this point,but I did. Like, you get to this
point where you're like, yeah,okay, I can't. I gotta do something
(09:00):
else. This isn't. I know. Ican't. You know, at the time, obviously,
I wasn't examining the traumaof it because I didn't even have
that language or know thatthat's what was going on. But I certainly
knew something had to changebecause it could not. I couldn't
stay in that relationship andrisk ending up like my mom.
(09:20):
Did you look before we hadthat conversation, did you always
identify that conversation asyour turning point or when you decided
to kind of change your life orleave that individual?
Probably not in those words,but that. That those two words, dead
weight, stayed. I don't knowever. Anytime. You know how there's,
like, points in your life andcertain memories that you'll remember
(09:43):
over and over at differenttimes, they'll pop into your head,
and it's just like a recurringmemory. It's like you don't remember
every single thing you did,but a couple of key things pop into
your mind that conversationwould pop into my mind. You know,
I would just be thinking aboutcollege or something, like, oh, and
then I remember thatconversation, right? So, like, you
know, so those wordsdefinitely did stay with me.
(10:06):
The reason I asked that. Andit's. It's happened to me already
in this. In this show. But,you know, a lot of times I'll. I'll
start coordinating withguests, and I will. They'll be like,
oh, yeah, this happened in mylife. You know, like, more of like,
I got a divorce, you know? Andso then I go back before we have
the conversation, and I reallychallenge them to think of, like,
what is. What was the specifictrigger? Like, what was the thing
(10:29):
that. That triggered you ortriggered your life to really shift
in that way? And a lot ofpeople come back to me, like, wow,
you know, like, I neveractually sat and reflected on these
moments. And I say it happenedto me because, you know, when I launched
a show, I was like, yeah, whenmy mom died, that, like, totally
changed my life. And the moreI have these conversations, of course,
(10:51):
yes, that changed my life. Butthe moment was really when my dad
sat me down and he had to tellme because she had been dead for
five hours, and I was stillliving my life as. As that same person.
And so that was like, youknow, through these conversations,
I was like, well, I'mchallenging people to think of the
moment. And now I'm like, oh,okay. Mine is not exactly what I
(11:12):
thought it was either. Sothat's kind of where that question
stemmed from. But I thinkthere's a lot of value in reflecting
what triggered us. In a goodway or a bad way.
Yeah, no, I. I always find it interesting.
I don't know if you haveopinions on triggers.
I mean. I mean, my onlyopinion on triggers is that they
are real. So I, like, I. Youknow, I. It was. It's interesting
(11:37):
because I. So speaking oftriggers is. I was somewhere the
other day with my boyfriend,and I. I can't remember. We were
doing something, and thensomething came up, and I said. Or
he said, oh, remember.Remember when you were a kid and
you would, like, do this orthat or whatever? I. Oh, you're at
the grocery store. I don'teven remember what it was. Oh, we
were talking about the little.The little things outside the grocery
(12:01):
store that you put a coin in,like, a little horse or whatever,
and he still exists? No, no.So he. I mentioned something, and
he's like, oh, or the littlehorse or whatever. Like. Yeah. And
then I said to him. I said, Idon't like to think about things
from childhood because theymake me sad. Like, even the good
things, if I think about mychildhood, I just get sad because.
So trigger. So even just theconversation like that triggers.
(12:23):
Immediately triggers like sadfeelings because I can't even. You
know how some people say,like, oh, you know, I had some sad
stuff in my childhood, but manwas good. Like, you know, I don't
know if I would even say therewas that much that was that great.
So to think about my childhoodjust feels really sad, you know?
Yeah, I can see that. It's. Idon't remember my childhood and it's
(12:46):
probably trauma blockage.
Probably. Yeah.
But, you know, looking backnow in my 40s and thinking back to
that moment and having theprivilege to have conversations with
people like you and reallydiving into like, just the human
experience and that, you know,sometimes these really shitty moments
make us who we are in a goodway. Right?
(13:07):
You know, Absolutely.
There's a lot of value in themistakes and the. The crap and the
trauma that we went through.Not that we would wish that on anyone
else or ourselves, but havingthe opportunity to kind of go back
and think about it. It's veryweird to be in this space and go,
okay, well, you know, maybethat had to happen.
(13:31):
Yeah, no, it's a good. I wasthinking about that as I was re listening
to the episode because I'mholding space for both things. Like,
I wouldn't say I'm glad thatthat happened, because, I mean, how
could you be glad that thathappened? Like my childhood or that
relationship, but at the sametime, I'm. I guess I can say I'm
(13:57):
thankful for what it made meinto. Not the anxious part of myself,
because I really could dowithout that. However, the part of
me that is, first of all, thepart of me that is empathetic about
others who have been insimilar situations or are in similar
situations or any of thosethings, that part. I'm thankful that
(14:19):
that came from it. I'm alsothankful that what came from it was
how hard working I am and howresilient I am and how introspective
I am to try to dig into my owncrap to so that it doesn't continue
to hurt me or other people.Right. Like, so those sorts of things
that came from that situation,I'm thankful for. I'm not glad that
(14:40):
that situation happened to me,but I am glad for the lessons that
and the qualities that camefrom it.
I. I agree. 100. I know for afact that I would not be this version
of me, had my mom lived. Youknow, I know for a fact that I would
not have the relationship thatI have with my father now had my
(15:00):
mom lived. I know all thesethings. And so it's like being grateful
for the experience, despitethe actual moments that were really
terrible. But, you know, Ithink it's very common. What I found
is that a lot of people,especially people that have gone
through trauma.
Yeah.
You know, I. I have a lot ofconversations with people that have
gone through some kind oftragedy or something really tough
(15:23):
in their life. And then therehave the people that are just, like,
triggered, like, all internalshifts that are amazing, and I'm
like, I don't understand. Whatdoes that mean?
Yeah.
But, you know, like, when Italk to people that come from some
kind of tragedy, in mostcases, when I have that final question
of, like, what would you sayto so and so. And I made you cry
(15:44):
a little bit when I asked you,but what would you say to that person?
And a lot of them, especiallyif. If that person was a little bit
older, they would be like, Iwouldn't say anything because there's
nothing I could say. I wouldjust give them a hug. I would just,
you know, because thisexperience turned them into me, and
at this point in my life, Iwouldn't want to change things.
(16:07):
Yeah, that's a good observation.
But it's fascinating, right,Because I think performatively in
society, we. We're just got toshow the pretty parts, got to show
the successes, can't show thevulnerabilities. And saying something
like that is very. It's like,it goes. It's counterintuitive to,
like, what we've been taughtto do growing up.
(16:29):
Right.
Like, admitting, like,something bad turned into something.
I don't know. It's very. It'svery odd to say so. It's a. It's
an interesting experiment thatI guess the Life Shift podcast is.
Yeah, well, and it'sinteresting, like, just on. If you're
just looking at it on themacro level, to see different people's
(16:49):
experiences and the differentoutcomes that come from them and
different people's way oflooking at them and reflecting on
them and how they feel aboutit now and, like, just see all the
different ways that that playsout, because certainly, certainly
there's other people that havebeen through what I've been through
that had a completelydifferent outcome. You know, maybe
they. Maybe they, you know,because I know for a fact, like,
(17:11):
because my father was analcoholic. When you're the child
of an alcoholic, you have ahigher chance of having an addiction.
And I am vehemently opposedto, like, I've. I don't. Like, I
don't. I'll have a drink everynow and then, but, like, I do not
like any of that in excess.I've never even smoked a cigarette
(17:34):
because I just. Like, my. Bothmy parents smoked, and I just. Look,
I can't. So I. You know, sostart now. I was considering it,
but since you said that, I won't.
Yeah, no, I agree.
But, I mean, it could havegone a totally different way, you
know.
Yeah. And I think a lot ofthat comes with the awareness or
the ability to have thatawareness. You mentioned, you know,
(17:54):
therapy later in life helpedyou kind of uncover certain things
or really analyze certainparts of your life. I'd like to kind
of. To go in the direction ofthe power of storytelling. Is there.
What do you think about. Just.Do you listen to things where other
people tell their personalstories? I know you work with a lot
of women and you help them dothat. What's, like, something that
(18:14):
you would say about the powerof storytelling?
Oh, my gosh. I hear women'sstories all the time because of the
nature of the work that I do,working with women to create their
talks. And often that involvestelling their stories. And then I
do listen to a lot of podcastswith, you know, storytelling components
and personal stories. And Ialso love to hear people's stories
(18:39):
of resilience, like somethingthey've been through and then what
that turned into. And, youknow, I just. There's just something
about hearing a story thathelps an audience, Even if they didn't
(19:00):
have the exact sameexperience, they can always resonate
with some element of the storyand feel the feeling that you want
them to feel and just, youknow, identify with where you're
coming from. And then not onlydoes it change the audience, but
then ends up changing thestoryteller as well. Right. Because
(19:22):
we often think, like, well,why would my story matter? Because,
you know, who's going to care?Or, you know, why is that going to
matter? Or. Or it's, oh, youknow, my tragedy. Nothing compared
to other people. Yeah,there's, you know, but there's always
value in telling your story,even if the only value that comes
(19:45):
from it, which it won't be,but even if it's just that it helps
you when you're telling it.
Yeah, I was. I didn't evenplant the seed, but I was just gonna.
I got a message yesterday fromsomeone that was on the show early.
Early on. Earlier than you.And they messaged me about an experience
that we're currently goingthrough that was a very trying experience.
(20:07):
And by the end of thismessage, they said, I just want to
thank you for allowing me tohave that conversation, because you
helped me free my voice. And Iwas like. Because they had always
been so quiet about this, thecircumstance that they talked about
coming on the show, and I wasone of the first people they talked
(20:30):
publicly about it. And sincethat moment, people have been messaging
her about the experience. Hey,I'm going through the same thing.
I thought it was the only one,too, all these things. And to hear
how telling her own storyhelped her, I mean, that's a win
in itself. Like, I mean, yes,it's lovely if other people can connect
(20:54):
with what you're saying, butto feel that you let that story out
in its completeness, and thenfor that to change you, I think there's
such power in that. And Ididn't realize that before I started
this podcast.
Yeah, it's. It's so true.Because. And that's why I think.
I mean, I've told my story indifferent, you know, different portions
(21:15):
of it and different, you know,in different platforms to different
people over the course of mywhole life. And I've never. I know
some people are lesscomfortable sharing their personal
story. I've never beenuncomfortable sharing it because
I. It's not my fault. No,never, Never, never been uncomfortable
sharing it because I think.Because I. Number one, like you said,
(21:41):
it is what part of what mademe who I am. And also because I think
there are other people whohave a story and maybe are hesitant
to share it, but want to ordon't realize how beneficial it could
be to them and to others totell their story. So I share it for
all those reasons, and becausethe domestic violence component of
(22:05):
it and the controllingrelationship, that's not unique to
me. That is. It's happening.It's happening today. It's been happening
for a long time. It's just.It's out there. So, you know, it's.
I think when we ignore ordon't share what's going on, that's
how problems grow.
Right? And we introduce shamebecause no one's talking about it.
(22:27):
So the more that we talk aboutit and, you know, you're. You're
setting examples for others,whether that's your intention or
not, is that this is safe.Like, we need to talk about these
situations, because noteverything is sunshine and rainbows
every day. In fact, a lot ofthe time, it's Not. And those are
the. Probably the moments thatwe all can relate to the most when
(22:50):
we share those and not, youknow, I got a promotion or these
other things that we wereconditioned to believe that other
people wanted to hear aboutus. When, like you say, you could
not even have the sameexperience, but something in someone's
story can stick with you. I'veeven had moments where someone will
(23:11):
reach out to me on socialmedia, and they'll be like, I just
listened to this episode, andwhen so and so said this, and I was
like, that. That was the part,you know, like.
Yeah, you never know.
So it's. You never know. It'sthe same thing. Like, had your friend
use different words that dayand you heard maybe the whole situation
(23:31):
would have changed. And, youknow, so you never know what words,
what things will hit you atthe right moment and trigger that
change.
Yes.
So I think there's a lot ofimportance of just continuing to
share a story.
Absolutely.
When you work with thesewomen, with speaking your brand,
do you see a physicaltransformation when people share
(23:51):
their story for the first time?
Yes. And it is. Sometimes it'sjust, like you said, relief of just
being able to tell the story.A lot of times it's just increased
confidence in knowing thattheir story matters or just confidence
(24:13):
in who they are because ofwhat they've gone through. And even
if the story isn't anythingtraumatic, just a story of how they
got to where they are, it justbuilds their confidence in themselves.
And I think it also. I oftenget the sense that they feel like
they're helping other people,too, by telling the story. So maybe
some woman is trying to worktowards some goal, and hearing this
(24:36):
other woman's story helps themfeel a little bit more powerful or
a little bit more like theycan do it or they have control. Yeah.
Well, it's. Even in yoursituation, it's possible as you can
get out of it, you know, it's.You're not stuck. And so, you know,
I think it. There's suchvalue, and it. It's unreal how many
(24:56):
stories we think on thesurface sound the same.
Yes.
But then when you have theconversations, you're like, wow,
that's quite different,because we're all trying to do the
same thing, but we all havedifferent experiences, and we experience
it differently. I actually hada conversation with someone who early
on, too, who lost his motheras a child. I was like, oh, my God.
(25:18):
We're totally. We're gonna.I'm. I totally know what you're gonna
say. Like, I Totally get it.And we couldn't have had the most
different of experiences andeven to this day in our 40s, how
different we are because ofthat. And it's so fascinating to
me because, you know, mylittle eight year old brain, when
my mom died, I just figuredthat everyone felt that way, you
(25:41):
know, if that happened. But inany case, I think there's such a
power to the story and I thankyou for just wanting to be a part
of it. If someone listening isthat person that you described of
like, I've never told somebodythis, but I'm kind of itching to
just get it out. Is there anyadvice you could give to someone
that's sitting on somethingthat's really just eating them up
(26:04):
inside?
Yeah, well, the first thing Iwould say is, and I wish, I wish
I had done this sooner, buttalk to a therapist because, you
know, if, if you have themeans, I should say that I'm coming
from a very privileged placewhere I have the means to do that.
But if you can, if you'reable, talk to a therapist. Because
(26:27):
I actually, before I, before Imade the decision to not have contact
with my father anymore, Iactually talked to a therapist because
society tells you you'resupposed to love your father. He
made you and like, and I wouldhave people say that to me, but he's
your father. Like, well,eventually, eventually you'll get
(26:49):
back in touch with him. And Ithought, God, am I crazy? Like, why
is there something wrong withme that I don't feel that way? And
so when I talked to atherapist, she said to me, no, he's,
yeah, I can see why youwouldn't want to be in touch with
him. And that's totally okay.She said, you don't, you do not have
to be in touch with yourfather just because you come from
(27:11):
his DNA. You don't have tohave a relationship with your father.
And if you decide to, that'sfine. And if you never decide to,
also fine. So I was like, oh,okay. I just needed a third party
person to tell me that that'sokay. Because I was like, is it me?
What's wrong with me? So, somy, the first thing I would say is
to tell a therapist, talk to atherap therapist because it's, it's
(27:32):
very helpful. Just like whenwe work with clients, having a third
party to validate how you'rethinking about something or feeling
about something is so helpfuland that's what the therapist can
do, is to validate how you'refeeling to make you feel like you're
not crazy. And then. And thenthat sort of unlocks a new way of
looking at it, because you canset aside all those thoughts of,
like, is it me? Am I notlooking at this right? Why do I feel
(27:55):
like everybody's telling methis? But I don't feel that way,
Blah, blah, blah. You can justset that aside, and now you can look
at it in the way that's trulya fit for yourself, you know?
Yeah. I mean, therapy, if youhave the means. Therapy is always
recommended, I think, andfinding the right therapist, so going
through the process and makingsure that you find one that feels
(28:18):
right, because, I mean, ittook me, like, five people to find
the one that worked for me. SoI think there's. There's importance
in that. I also think, in myopinion, if you have something in
you that you need to get out,even just say it out loud in front
of a mirror. Because sometimeswhen those thoughts are in our head,
(28:40):
they seem so much scarier andbigger and overwhelming. And then
you verbalize them, and you'relike, okay, that's palatable. Like,
I can. I can handle this. Ican move forward in the next space.
And so I always think that,like, just get it out in some way.
But. But ideally, therapy forsure. And then, you know, sharing
(29:01):
with people that you feel willhold the space for you. If you can't,
if. If therapy is not anoption for you, find people that
feel safe for you so that youcan share it. Because I think there's
value in that. So.
Yeah, and you can also. Youknow, I. Now I'm going to say this
with a caveat that I am not aperson who journals. However, with
(29:24):
that said, there have beentimes where my therapist said, you
know, you need to write someof these things down, like, just
write. And there. It does helpwhen you're trying, when you feel
kind of locked up with somestory or thought process or something
that is just weighing on you.And even if all you do is write it
(29:44):
down and then burn it or throwit away, it's still getting it out
is helpful.
Don't bottle it up. There areother people that can understand
your. Your circumstances. Theycan relate with you. There are people
out there that care. And whatI'm trying to do on the Life Shift
podcast, you know, I keepsaying that my original goal is that
(30:05):
each episode finds that oneperson that needed to hear the story
that day. And if that happenswith every episode, then we win,
you know, because we're. We'rebridging the gaps that I think we
were conditioned to create.And so I'm just super honored that
you wanted to be a part of itway back when, 150 years ago. And
(30:27):
I appreciate you.
Sure do.
I haven't left my house in 150 years.
Same.
I haven't seen the sun. Idon't know what that is. But thank
you for being a part of this.Thank you for letting my Patreon
folks catch up with you. Ifyou haven't listened to Diane's episode,
go back episode 20. It cameout on July 26, 2022. So it'll be
(30:49):
there forever for everyone tohear until she yells at me to take
it down. So thanks again,Diane. Thank you for being a part.
Oh, it's been my pleasure,Matt. Thank you.
And we will be back in acouple weeks with another bonus episode
with former guests of the LifeShift podcast. For more information,
(31:15):
please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess, warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast. But I used tohave other tiers where people were
so generous and were offeringadditional money each month to get
(00:41):
bonus episodes and possiblewinnings of T shirts and all sorts
of things. And then I realizeda couple months ago that I wasn't
able to deliver what I wantedto, especially for those of you that
were giving me the extramoney. So right now we're just kind
of doing the early episodes.You'll always get those. So if you
want to support the Life Shiftpodcast, please jump over to patreon.com
(01:02):
forward/thelifeshiftpodpodcast and you can find that information
there. But I come on herebecause I want to share a series
of these bonus episodes that Idid early on in the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests. So Iwould go back and we would have a
(01:23):
conversation about theexperience of sharing their story
on the Life Shift podcast.Catch up on anything. And I think
these are super important andI know most of them did not see the
light of day from outside ofthe Patreon. So I'm going to be dropping
these episodes. Whateveryou're listening to now is another
episode. So I'm going to usethe same intro for all of them. But
(01:45):
here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
the Life Shift podcast. And ifyou like this, let me know because
I'm thinking of bringing someof this back and talking to previous
guests as I go into year four.So enjoy this bonus episode that
was once released on thePatreon feed. I'm Matt Gilhooley
(02:07):
and this is the Life Shiftcandid conversations about the pivotal
moments that have changedlives forever. Hey Diane.
Hi.
Hey everyone. Listening. So Iam here with Diane Diaz. And Diane,
(02:28):
you were episode 20, which iskind blowing my mind right now.
I know that's. It seems a longtime ago, doesn't it?
Yeah. We recorded your episodeprobably June of 2022, possibly,
and it was released in July2022. And you were episode 20. And
I just. I think I justrecorded episode 84 or 85 at this
(02:53):
point of recording, and itjust feels like it was yesterday,
but also 100 years ago.
I know, I know. Well, you'llbe hitting 100 episodes soon.
Yeah. Which I'm supposed to dosomething for that, so we'll see.
We were just talking aboutbefore we started recording that,
you know, screw the rules. Youknow, there's a lot of these rules
(03:14):
in podcasting. And so for thePatreon folks, there are. There's
a certain tier that we havethese bonus episodes every couple
weeks where I just returnselfishly to talk to people that
I've already talked to. And alot of these conversations have been
centered around storytelling,which I think is just your jam in
general.
(03:34):
Totally. Absolutely.
And what you do with speakingyour brand and what you do with your
own company and what you do asa teacher. So thinking about that,
you came onto the show andtalked about your experiences in
what we'll call a toxicrelationship with a dead weight by
(03:54):
your side. After telling thatstory, did you have any kind of feelings
of, like, letting that out? Iknow it was probably not the first
time you ever told it, butmaybe it was the first time you told
it in that way.
Well, it definitely wasn't thefirst time I had told that story.
It was the first time in along time that I had told that story.
Because I don't often, youknow, have the chance to talk about
that kind of stuff. I don'tthink I necessarily had any specific
(04:16):
feelings about it. However, Iam the type of person, after I have
any conversation with someone,I'm the type of person who goes back,
and in my mind, I'm like, Idon't know if I would have said that
this way. Maybe I should havesaid that differently. You know,
you do that sort of like, Idon't know why I do that. Nothing
that I wish I hadn't said oranything like that. Just sort of
like a reassessing of, like,how I said things. And so I went
(04:37):
back and listened to theepisode this morning, and I was totally
kind of fine with, like,everything that I said. And I, I,
I did. I did have arealization when I was listening
to it this morning that. Andyou kind of made this point when
we were talking during thepodcast episode. But this idea that
(04:59):
I think you had asked mesomething about, like, what was it
about? The somebody havingsaid dead weight versus other people
had told me before, like, he'sno good you know, like, why didn't
that work? And why did. Whywas dead weight the thing. And I
think it was because I. And Ihad mentioned this. Like, I knew
from a very young age that Ineeded to do something different
(05:19):
than what my mom did because Icouldn't end up in that same situation.
And that idea of dead weightwas the feeling of, it will sink
you to the bottom of the oceanand you'll never get out of this
life that you're living withyour family, over which you have
no control, so you got to dosomething different. So that is what
made me, like, jolted me outof my, I guess, you know, complacency
(05:42):
and, like, okay, this can't bethis way.
Yeah. I mean, it painted apicture for me. I. I certainly felt
like it was. You know, I thinkwe talk a lot about, like, ball and
chain and shackles and thosekind of things, but that idea of
a dead weight, I totallypictured, like, an anvil. Like. Like.
Like roadrunner.
(06:03):
Roadrunner, sty. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
That kind of thing. And, youknow, I think a lot of people are
in that complacency mode for along time because we. We kind of
don't look at the largerpicture of it. We look at it in the
moment. Everything's fine, youknow, it's fine. It'll be fine tomorrow.
You know, there's another goodtime coming. And sometimes it takes
(06:25):
the right words at the righttime for us to kind of make these
changes.
Yeah. And I think, too, that'sa good point. And if you look at
it. If you look at whereyou're at and where, you know you
need or want to go, it seemsso far away and so much needs to
happen before you can getthere. Right. If you look at it that
(06:49):
way, because we don't look atit as like, well, I'll just take
the first step. We don't.We're not rationalizing it that way.
We're like, oh, my God, I justcan't have this life. I need a different
life. Well, that's a big.That's a big change, Especially when
you're a young adult and youdon't have that many options or choices
available to you. So it'slike, well, how do you even make
that change? So it's a good. Imean, obviously, hindsight's 2020
(07:10):
and being much older andhaving done things, I can reflect
on it. But, you know, ifanybody listening to this is young,
it's a good lesson in just.Just take the first step, because
that's all you have to do. SoI just needed to do the one thing
that I could control, whichwas to get out of that relationship.
Well, and I think inrelationships, I think sometimes
(07:31):
we also talk ourselves out ofit because, like, could it be better?
Is there even a. Is this thegood and then there's something worse?
Yes, that's right. And so sucha good point.
It's very scary to take thatfirst step, I think, in anything.
Right. But this, you'redealing with a lot more vulnerability
(07:52):
in emotion and the. And thenif you leave and then need to come
back, then what? You know, andthen there's all this other people
around you. So I think yourepisode was really important. For
those that are inrelationships that, you know, they
feel stuck or they feel likemaybe something could be better,
(08:13):
that maybe there is somethingthat they can do to at least regain
some of. Of that independenceor control over your. Over their
lives. But I think a lot ofyours really stem to your childhood,
for sure.
Like you said, 100%. Yeah.
You know, thinking of your.Your mom's situation and even your
situation as a child in. Inthat relationship of your parents,
(08:37):
or lack thereof, you know,there was a lot of trauma that probably
came along with you that atthat moment was like, all right,
we're good. Let's go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funnyhow you just. The trauma sort of
directs you and then you getto a point. And, I mean, not everybody
probably gets to this point,but I did. Like, you get to this
point where you're like, yeah,okay, I can't. I gotta do something
(09:00):
else. This isn't. I know. Ican't. You know, at the time, obviously,
I wasn't examining the traumaof it because I didn't even have
that language or know thatthat's what was going on. But I certainly
knew something had to changebecause it could not. I couldn't
stay in that relationship andrisk ending up like my mom.
(09:20):
Did you look before we hadthat conversation, did you always
identify that conversation asyour turning point or when you decided
to kind of change your life orleave that individual?
Probably not in those words,but that. That those two words, dead
weight, stayed. I don't knowever. Anytime. You know how there's,
like, points in your life andcertain memories that you'll remember
(09:43):
over and over at differenttimes, they'll pop into your head,
and it's just like a recurringmemory. It's like you don't remember
every single thing you did,but a couple of key things pop into
your mind that conversationwould pop into my mind. You know,
I would just be thinking aboutcollege or something, like, oh, and
then I remember thatconversation, right? So, like, you
know, so those wordsdefinitely did stay with me.
(10:06):
The reason I asked that. Andit's. It's happened to me already
in this. In this show. But,you know, a lot of times I'll. I'll
start coordinating withguests, and I will. They'll be like,
oh, yeah, this happened in mylife. You know, like, more of like,
I got a divorce, you know? Andso then I go back before we have
the conversation, and I reallychallenge them to think of, like,
what is. What was the specifictrigger? Like, what was the thing
(10:29):
that. That triggered you ortriggered your life to really shift
in that way? And a lot ofpeople come back to me, like, wow,
you know, like, I neveractually sat and reflected on these
moments. And I say it happenedto me because, you know, when I launched
a show, I was like, yeah, whenmy mom died, that, like, totally
changed my life. And the moreI have these conversations, of course,
(10:51):
yes, that changed my life. Butthe moment was really when my dad
sat me down and he had to tellme because she had been dead for
five hours, and I was stillliving my life as. As that same person.
And so that was like, youknow, through these conversations,
I was like, well, I'mchallenging people to think of the
moment. And now I'm like, oh,okay. Mine is not exactly what I
(11:12):
thought it was either. Sothat's kind of where that question
stemmed from. But I thinkthere's a lot of value in reflecting
what triggered us. In a goodway or a bad way.
Yeah, no, I. I always find it interesting.
I don't know if you haveopinions on triggers.
I mean. I mean, my onlyopinion on triggers is that they
are real. So I, like, I. Youknow, I. It was. It's interesting
(11:37):
because I. So speaking oftriggers is. I was somewhere the
other day with my boyfriend,and I. I can't remember. We were
doing something, and thensomething came up, and I said. Or
he said, oh, remember.Remember when you were a kid and
you would, like, do this orthat or whatever? I. Oh, you're at
the grocery store. I don'teven remember what it was. Oh, we
were talking about the little.The little things outside the grocery
(12:01):
store that you put a coin in,like, a little horse or whatever,
and he still exists? No, no.So he. I mentioned something, and
he's like, oh, or the littlehorse or whatever. Like. Yeah. And
then I said to him. I said, Idon't like to think about things
from childhood because theymake me sad. Like, even the good
things, if I think about mychildhood, I just get sad because.
So trigger. So even just theconversation like that triggers.
(12:23):
Immediately triggers like sadfeelings because I can't even. You
know how some people say,like, oh, you know, I had some sad
stuff in my childhood, but manwas good. Like, you know, I don't
know if I would even say therewas that much that was that great.
So to think about my childhoodjust feels really sad, you know?
Yeah, I can see that. It's. Idon't remember my childhood and it's
(12:46):
probably trauma blockage.
Probably. Yeah.
But, you know, looking backnow in my 40s and thinking back to
that moment and having theprivilege to have conversations with
people like you and reallydiving into like, just the human
experience and that, you know,sometimes these really shitty moments
make us who we are in a goodway. Right?
(13:07):
You know, Absolutely.
There's a lot of value in themistakes and the. The crap and the
trauma that we went through.Not that we would wish that on anyone
else or ourselves, but havingthe opportunity to kind of go back
and think about it. It's veryweird to be in this space and go,
okay, well, you know, maybethat had to happen.
(13:31):
Yeah, no, it's a good. I wasthinking about that as I was re listening
to the episode because I'mholding space for both things. Like,
I wouldn't say I'm glad thatthat happened, because, I mean, how
could you be glad that thathappened? Like my childhood or that
relationship, but at the sametime, I'm. I guess I can say I'm
(13:57):
thankful for what it made meinto. Not the anxious part of myself,
because I really could dowithout that. However, the part of
me that is, first of all, thepart of me that is empathetic about
others who have been insimilar situations or are in similar
situations or any of thosethings, that part. I'm thankful that
(14:19):
that came from it. I'm alsothankful that what came from it was
how hard working I am and howresilient I am and how introspective
I am to try to dig into my owncrap to so that it doesn't continue
to hurt me or other people.Right. Like, so those sorts of things
that came from that situation,I'm thankful for. I'm not glad that
(14:40):
that situation happened to me,but I am glad for the lessons that
and the qualities that camefrom it.
I. I agree. 100. I know for afact that I would not be this version
of me, had my mom lived. Youknow, I know for a fact that I would
not have the relationship thatI have with my father now had my
(15:00):
mom lived. I know all thesethings. And so it's like being grateful
for the experience, despitethe actual moments that were really
terrible. But, you know, Ithink it's very common. What I found
is that a lot of people,especially people that have gone
through trauma.
Yeah.
You know, I. I have a lot ofconversations with people that have
gone through some kind oftragedy or something really tough
(15:23):
in their life. And then therehave the people that are just, like,
triggered, like, all internalshifts that are amazing, and I'm
like, I don't understand. Whatdoes that mean?
Yeah.
But, you know, like, when Italk to people that come from some
kind of tragedy, in mostcases, when I have that final question
of, like, what would you sayto so and so. And I made you cry
(15:44):
a little bit when I asked you,but what would you say to that person?
And a lot of them, especiallyif. If that person was a little bit
older, they would be like, Iwouldn't say anything because there's
nothing I could say. I wouldjust give them a hug. I would just,
you know, because thisexperience turned them into me, and
at this point in my life, Iwouldn't want to change things.
(16:07):
Yeah, that's a good observation.
But it's fascinating, right,Because I think performatively in
society, we. We're just got toshow the pretty parts, got to show
the successes, can't show thevulnerabilities. And saying something
like that is very. It's like,it goes. It's counterintuitive to,
like, what we've been taughtto do growing up.
(16:29):
Right.
Like, admitting, like,something bad turned into something.
I don't know. It's very. It'svery odd to say so. It's a. It's
an interesting experiment thatI guess the Life Shift podcast is.
Yeah, well, and it'sinteresting, like, just on. If you're
just looking at it on themacro level, to see different people's
(16:49):
experiences and the differentoutcomes that come from them and
different people's way oflooking at them and reflecting on
them and how they feel aboutit now and, like, just see all the
different ways that that playsout, because certainly, certainly
there's other people that havebeen through what I've been through
that had a completelydifferent outcome. You know, maybe
they. Maybe they, you know,because I know for a fact, like,
(17:11):
because my father was analcoholic. When you're the child
of an alcoholic, you have ahigher chance of having an addiction.
And I am vehemently opposedto, like, I've. I don't. Like, I
don't. I'll have a drink everynow and then, but, like, I do not
like any of that in excess.I've never even smoked a cigarette
(17:34):
because I just. Like, my. Bothmy parents smoked, and I just. Look,
I can't. So I. You know, sostart now. I was considering it,
but since you said that, I won't.
Yeah, no, I agree.
But, I mean, it could havegone a totally different way, you
know.
Yeah. And I think a lot ofthat comes with the awareness or
the ability to have thatawareness. You mentioned, you know,
(17:54):
therapy later in life helpedyou kind of uncover certain things
or really analyze certainparts of your life. I'd like to kind
of. To go in the direction ofthe power of storytelling. Is there.
What do you think about. Just.Do you listen to things where other
people tell their personalstories? I know you work with a lot
of women and you help them dothat. What's, like, something that
(18:14):
you would say about the powerof storytelling?
Oh, my gosh. I hear women'sstories all the time because of the
nature of the work that I do,working with women to create their
talks. And often that involvestelling their stories. And then I
do listen to a lot of podcastswith, you know, storytelling components
and personal stories. And Ialso love to hear people's stories
(18:39):
of resilience, like somethingthey've been through and then what
that turned into. And, youknow, I just. There's just something
about hearing a story thathelps an audience, Even if they didn't
(19:00):
have the exact sameexperience, they can always resonate
with some element of the storyand feel the feeling that you want
them to feel and just, youknow, identify with where you're
coming from. And then not onlydoes it change the audience, but
then ends up changing thestoryteller as well. Right. Because
(19:22):
we often think, like, well,why would my story matter? Because,
you know, who's going to care?Or, you know, why is that going to
matter? Or. Or it's, oh, youknow, my tragedy. Nothing compared
to other people. Yeah,there's, you know, but there's always
value in telling your story,even if the only value that comes
(19:45):
from it, which it won't be,but even if it's just that it helps
you when you're telling it.
Yeah, I was. I didn't evenplant the seed, but I was just gonna.
I got a message yesterday fromsomeone that was on the show early.
Early on. Earlier than you.And they messaged me about an experience
that we're currently goingthrough that was a very trying experience.
(20:07):
And by the end of thismessage, they said, I just want to
thank you for allowing me tohave that conversation, because you
helped me free my voice. And Iwas like. Because they had always
been so quiet about this, thecircumstance that they talked about
coming on the show, and I wasone of the first people they talked
(20:30):
publicly about it. And sincethat moment, people have been messaging
her about the experience. Hey,I'm going through the same thing.
I thought it was the only one,too, all these things. And to hear
how telling her own storyhelped her, I mean, that's a win
in itself. Like, I mean, yes,it's lovely if other people can connect
(20:54):
with what you're saying, butto feel that you let that story out
in its completeness, and thenfor that to change you, I think there's
such power in that. And Ididn't realize that before I started
this podcast.
Yeah, it's. It's so true.Because. And that's why I think.
I mean, I've told my story indifferent, you know, different portions
(21:15):
of it and different, you know,in different platforms to different
people over the course of mywhole life. And I've never. I know
some people are lesscomfortable sharing their personal
story. I've never beenuncomfortable sharing it because
I. It's not my fault. No,never, Never, never been uncomfortable
sharing it because I think.Because I. Number one, like you said,
(21:41):
it is what part of what mademe who I am. And also because I think
there are other people whohave a story and maybe are hesitant
to share it, but want to ordon't realize how beneficial it could
be to them and to others totell their story. So I share it for
all those reasons, and becausethe domestic violence component of
(22:05):
it and the controllingrelationship, that's not unique to
me. That is. It's happening.It's happening today. It's been happening
for a long time. It's just.It's out there. So, you know, it's.
I think when we ignore ordon't share what's going on, that's
how problems grow.
Right? And we introduce shamebecause no one's talking about it.
(22:27):
So the more that we talk aboutit and, you know, you're. You're
setting examples for others,whether that's your intention or
not, is that this is safe.Like, we need to talk about these
situations, because noteverything is sunshine and rainbows
every day. In fact, a lot ofthe time, it's Not. And those are
the. Probably the moments thatwe all can relate to the most when
(22:50):
we share those and not, youknow, I got a promotion or these
other things that we wereconditioned to believe that other
people wanted to hear aboutus. When, like you say, you could
not even have the sameexperience, but something in someone's
story can stick with you. I'veeven had moments where someone will
(23:11):
reach out to me on socialmedia, and they'll be like, I just
listened to this episode, andwhen so and so said this, and I was
like, that. That was the part,you know, like.
Yeah, you never know.
So it's. You never know. It'sthe same thing. Like, had your friend
use different words that dayand you heard maybe the whole situation
(23:31):
would have changed. And, youknow, so you never know what words,
what things will hit you atthe right moment and trigger that
change.
Yes.
So I think there's a lot ofimportance of just continuing to
share a story.
Absolutely.
When you work with thesewomen, with speaking your brand,
do you see a physicaltransformation when people share
(23:51):
their story for the first time?
Yes. And it is. Sometimes it'sjust, like you said, relief of just
being able to tell the story.A lot of times it's just increased
confidence in knowing thattheir story matters or just confidence
(24:13):
in who they are because ofwhat they've gone through. And even
if the story isn't anythingtraumatic, just a story of how they
got to where they are, it justbuilds their confidence in themselves.
And I think it also. I oftenget the sense that they feel like
they're helping other people,too, by telling the story. So maybe
some woman is trying to worktowards some goal, and hearing this
(24:36):
other woman's story helps themfeel a little bit more powerful or
a little bit more like theycan do it or they have control. Yeah.
Well, it's. Even in yoursituation, it's possible as you can
get out of it, you know, it's.You're not stuck. And so, you know,
I think it. There's suchvalue, and it. It's unreal how many
(24:56):
stories we think on thesurface sound the same.
Yes.
But then when you have theconversations, you're like, wow,
that's quite different,because we're all trying to do the
same thing, but we all havedifferent experiences, and we experience
it differently. I actually hada conversation with someone who early
on, too, who lost his motheras a child. I was like, oh, my God.
(25:18):
We're totally. We're gonna.I'm. I totally know what you're gonna
say. Like, I Totally get it.And we couldn't have had the most
different of experiences andeven to this day in our 40s, how
different we are because ofthat. And it's so fascinating to
me because, you know, mylittle eight year old brain, when
my mom died, I just figuredthat everyone felt that way, you
(25:41):
know, if that happened. But inany case, I think there's such a
power to the story and I thankyou for just wanting to be a part
of it. If someone listening isthat person that you described of
like, I've never told somebodythis, but I'm kind of itching to
just get it out. Is there anyadvice you could give to someone
that's sitting on somethingthat's really just eating them up
(26:04):
inside?
Yeah, well, the first thing Iwould say is, and I wish, I wish
I had done this sooner, buttalk to a therapist because, you
know, if, if you have themeans, I should say that I'm coming
from a very privileged placewhere I have the means to do that.
But if you can, if you'reable, talk to a therapist. Because
(26:27):
I actually, before I, before Imade the decision to not have contact
with my father anymore, Iactually talked to a therapist because
society tells you you'resupposed to love your father. He
made you and like, and I wouldhave people say that to me, but he's
your father. Like, well,eventually, eventually you'll get
(26:49):
back in touch with him. And Ithought, God, am I crazy? Like, why
is there something wrong withme that I don't feel that way? And
so when I talked to atherapist, she said to me, no, he's,
yeah, I can see why youwouldn't want to be in touch with
him. And that's totally okay.She said, you don't, you do not have
to be in touch with yourfather just because you come from
(27:11):
his DNA. You don't have tohave a relationship with your father.
And if you decide to, that'sfine. And if you never decide to,
also fine. So I was like, oh,okay. I just needed a third party
person to tell me that that'sokay. Because I was like, is it me?
What's wrong with me? So, somy, the first thing I would say is
to tell a therapist, talk to atherap therapist because it's, it's
(27:32):
very helpful. Just like whenwe work with clients, having a third
party to validate how you'rethinking about something or feeling
about something is so helpfuland that's what the therapist can
do, is to validate how you'refeeling to make you feel like you're
not crazy. And then. And thenthat sort of unlocks a new way of
looking at it, because you canset aside all those thoughts of,
like, is it me? Am I notlooking at this right? Why do I feel
(27:55):
like everybody's telling methis? But I don't feel that way,
Blah, blah, blah. You can justset that aside, and now you can look
at it in the way that's trulya fit for yourself, you know?
Yeah. I mean, therapy, if youhave the means. Therapy is always
recommended, I think, andfinding the right therapist, so going
through the process and makingsure that you find one that feels
(28:18):
right, because, I mean, ittook me, like, five people to find
the one that worked for me. SoI think there's. There's importance
in that. I also think, in myopinion, if you have something in
you that you need to get out,even just say it out loud in front
of a mirror. Because sometimeswhen those thoughts are in our head,
(28:40):
they seem so much scarier andbigger and overwhelming. And then
you verbalize them, and you'relike, okay, that's palatable. Like,
I can. I can handle this. Ican move forward in the next space.
And so I always think that,like, just get it out in some way.
But. But ideally, therapy forsure. And then, you know, sharing
(29:01):
with people that you feel willhold the space for you. If you can't,
if. If therapy is not anoption for you, find people that
feel safe for you so that youcan share it. Because I think there's
value in that. So.
Yeah, and you can also. Youknow, I. Now I'm going to say this
with a caveat that I am not aperson who journals. However, with
(29:24):
that said, there have beentimes where my therapist said, you
know, you need to write someof these things down, like, just
write. And there. It does helpwhen you're trying, when you feel
kind of locked up with somestory or thought process or something
that is just weighing on you.And even if all you do is write it
(29:44):
down and then burn it or throwit away, it's still getting it out
is helpful.
Don't bottle it up. There areother people that can understand
your. Your circumstances. Theycan relate with you. There are people
out there that care. And whatI'm trying to do on the Life Shift
podcast, you know, I keepsaying that my original goal is that
(30:05):
each episode finds that oneperson that needed to hear the story
that day. And if that happenswith every episode, then we win,
you know, because we're. We'rebridging the gaps that I think we
were conditioned to create.And so I'm just super honored that
you wanted to be a part of itway back when, 150 years ago. And
(30:27):
I appreciate you.
Sure do.
I haven't left my house in 150 years.
Same.
I haven't seen the sun. Idon't know what that is. But thank
you for being a part of this.Thank you for letting my Patreon
folks catch up with you. Ifyou haven't listened to Diane's episode,
go back episode 20. It cameout on July 26, 2022. So it'll be
(30:49):
there forever for everyone tohear until she yells at me to take
it down. So thanks again,Diane. Thank you for being a part.
Oh, it's been my pleasure,Matt. Thank you.
And we will be back in acouple weeks with another bonus episode
with former guests of the LifeShift podcast. For more information,
(31:15):
please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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