May 18, 2025 • 26 mins
Alex Knight joins me again to share how his life has shifted since we last chatted on The Life Shift. We kick things off by revisiting the pivotal moments that shaped his relationship with music and how those experiences continue to influence his life decisions. Alex shares that music has been a constant anchor, helping him navigate expectations and societal pressures. Since our last episode, he’s become more aware of how music plays a role in his happiness and creativity, emphasizing the importance of pursuing passions without the weight of external validation.
This conversation is a powerful reminder of how sharing our stories can lead to unexpected insights and connections, making it easier to embrace the journey we’re on.
The Life Shift Rewind
I’m excited to share bonus episodes from Patreon, where I revisited past guests to discuss what has changed and the value of sharing their stories. Since I currently only have the lower tiers available, I wanted to make these conversations accessible to the public feed. If you'd like to support the show directly, please consider joining the $3 or $5 tier on Patreon – www.patreon.com/thelifeshiftpodcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and. And just the, I guess,warm fuzzies for helping me out with
the Life Shift podcast. But Iused to have other tiers where people
were so generous and wereoffering additional money each month
to get bonus episodes andpossible winnings of T shirts and
(00:45):
all sorts of things. And thenI realized a couple months ago that
I wasn't able to deliver whatI wanted to, especially for those
of you that were giving me theextra money. So right now we're just
kind of doing the early episodes.
You'll always get those.
So if you want to support theLife Shift podcast, Please jump to
patreon.com thelifeshiftpodcast and you can find that
(01:05):
information there. But I comeon here because I want to share a
series of these bonus episodesthat I did early on in the Patreon
journey. There are like 20plus episodes in which I had bonus
recordings with previousguests. So I would go back and we
would have a conversationabout the experience of sharing their
(01:26):
story on the Life Shiftpodcast. Catch up on anything. And
I think these are superimportant and I know most of them
did not see the light of dayfrom outside of the Patreon. So I'm
going to be dropping theseepisodes. Whatever you're listening
to now is another episode. SoI'm going to use the same intro for
all of them. But here is oneof the bonus episodes with a former
(01:49):
guest from the Life Shiftpodcast. And if you like this, let
me know because I'm thinkingof bringing some of this back and
talking to previous guests asI go into year four.
So.
So enjoy this bonus episodethat was once released on the Patreon
feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooley and this isthe Life Shift Candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal moments thathave changed lives forever. Today
I am joined by my friend Alex.And Alex, you were episode nine,
I think.
Nine. Okay. Yeah, I was gonna.I meant to tell you before we started
(02:30):
that I forgot what number it was.
Yeah, it was so long ago and.And you were part of the group, I
think, really you may havebeen recording or we may have recorded
it before I launched or rightaround the time that I launched the.
The podcast itself in March oflast year. It was pretty close to
the time period in which thiswas all just kind of a school project
and I didn't know where it wasgonna go. And now I've recorded,
(02:54):
by the time this comes out,probably close to 60 episodes. But
at this point, yeah, I'verecorded a 50 plus and I've released
40 something, and so we're.We're finding that. That groove.
So I appreciate that you cameon and trusted me enough. People
have told me all about howthey enjoyed your story. So before
(03:16):
we get any further, maybe youcan just kind of remind us of what
your episode was about.
We were touching base aboutthis before because I couldn't fully
remember because it was likeI. It was one of those things where,
like, I was trying to figureout a moment and it had something
to do with. With some pivotalmoment that music played in my life.
And I think the original ideawas when I got my first guitar, but
(03:38):
then as we talked more andmore, it seemed like it was coming
down to when I saw the Monkeyson TV when I was like, really, really
young. But one of those twothings, and then we just kind of
explored all the differentways that music has sort of like,
helped shape my relationshipsand the trajectory of my life in
different ways. Whether it wasplaying it, listening to it, teaching
about it, whatever.
Yeah.
(03:58):
You know, what was interestingabout your episode is I noticed that
it seemed like in your lifethere were parts of you that were
trying to, like, do what wasquote, unquote, expected of you that
wasn't in music. And somehowmusic always kind of brought you
back to it.
Oh, yeah. Every time, like,it. It's like an anchor or something
(04:20):
like that. It just. I. Ishould have learned probably sooner
to just quit, you know, cutout all the outside noise and. And
follow that a little bit more.I think, in fact, there. There's
been like, a couple timessince then where I will say, like,
after. After doing thatepisode with you, I started being
a little bit more, like, awareof when something involving music
(04:43):
was factoring into my lifedecisions. And there's been a couple
more instances since then thatI trace back to that. It's just interesting
to. To see it pop up, even inways I wouldn't think, you know?
Well, I mean, I've heard otherpeople talk about, you know, saying
all these things out loud isquite different than thinking of,
like, the little chunks oftime and kind of stringing Together,
(05:05):
this story or thisconversation about it. People are
like, you know, I didn'treally realize the impact that that
particular piece had on allthese other moments. So I'm not surprised
that by sharing that storythat now you're thinking about it
more and thinking how. Howeverything connects. I mean, I like
that. I think that's hopefullybeen beneficial for you in a way.
(05:27):
Oh, totally. It's like therapy.
Yeah.
Like, I think it's one of thegenuinely, like, one of the benefits
of therapy is that, like,sometimes there's all this stuff
floating around your head. Youjust say it out loud to someone and
you're like, oh, yeah, thatwas, like, painfully obvious. Why
don't I, like, act on thatnow? So it just kind of takes all
the jumble and puts it in the trajectory.
(05:47):
It's so. I don't know if youcan relate to this, but sometimes
I'll be thinking of something,and it seems so very dramatic in
my head, and then I'llverbalize it to someone else, and
I'll be like, wait a second.That sounds very inconsequential.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happensa lot. Or also, like, there. It's
(06:10):
almost like my brain hasfigured out something before. I've
realized that it figured itout. So I'll, like, have all this
information. I'll be like,man, I just don't know what to do.
And then I'll just, like, sayit out loud and then go, oh, well,
that's what I should do.
You know, like, it's allclearly written right in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.
I understand that you may bedifferent in this particular question
than some of my other guests.Some of my other guests have never
(06:31):
done a podcast or never reallyheard themselves on a microphone
of some sort. When you listento your episode, was there anything
that stood out to you or wasit. Was it a weird experience or
was this kind of like. Oh,yeah, no, it was.
It was kind of what we werejust saying. It was interesting to
hear it back and to, like. Ithink as we were talking, I found
more and more instances of,like, oh, I wouldn't have had this
(06:53):
relationship in my life if itwasn't for music. I wouldn't have
had, you know, wouldn't haveturned left at this, you know, juncture
in my life if it wasn't forit. And then I was able to verbalize
that better when. So I. I'vealways had this back and forth with
my dad, in particular, about,like, because he was very much like,
the. The one. And we talkedabout this in the episode too, about,
(07:14):
like, be a doctor or a lawyeror whatever. Don't, you know, follow
these creative things. Andthen just recently, I saw his brother.
I was. I was up north visitingsome family, and I saw his brother,
who I've always gotten alongwith really well, but he kind of,
like, weirdly, like, launchedinto me. Like, it was just he and
I in a room at one pointeating food, and he was kind of going
(07:35):
like, hey, like, I saw thatyou. You know, you and your brother,
you're. You're making thesemusic videos. They look like they
take a lot of work, you know,it doesn't take a lot of work and
time. And I was like, oh,yeah, yeah. Like, it's a lot of work,
you know, not knowing where hewas heading with it. And then he
was like, well, like, youknow, shouldn't you be putting that
into your career? Or, like,shouldn't you be putting that into,
you know, whatever? Like, whyare you putting that into. Into making
(07:58):
these things if it's, youknow? And as a result of sort of
reflecting on ourconversation, I had all this, like,
ammo at the ready where I waslike, dude, like, I wouldn't have
my job if I hadn't been doingthings like this my whole life. I
wouldn't have my wife. Iwouldn't have a close relationship
with my brother. You know,like, depending on where you're placing
value, I mean, even if you putthe value solely on money, I wouldn't
(08:22):
have a career or my currentcareer if it wasn't for music, and
I wouldn't have the money thatI have made from music. But besides
that, like, you know, it wasalmost kind of flipping the table
on him. Like, don't you thinkit's important to be close to your
family? Don't you think theseother relationships are important?
And those would not exist forme if it wasn't for music.
So, yeah, ammo.
(08:43):
Yeah. Yeah.
Now you have the back. Youhave all the proof written down.
Like, you did your researchpaper. Your dissertation is done.
Yeah, yeah. And what is lifeexperience for if not to weaponize
against your relatives?
Exactly. Especially holidaygatherings and things like that.
Oh, for sure. Yeah. I. I thinkthere was. There was definitely a
part of me that was wishing,like, I had been able to say all
(09:03):
of that to, like, my dad 20years ago or something. You know
what I mean?
Did. Speaking of that, did. Idon't know if any of your friends
or family listened to yourepisode. Did you get any feedback
from others that happened totake a listen to your story and you
know, it's.
I, I didn't ask a whole lotbecause I, I feel I, I get in my
(09:24):
head about stuff like that.I'm like, you know, don't tell me
if you liked it or not like,or whatever or, or just tell me you
like something if you know,because otherwise I'll think myself
into circles. But yeah,generally speaking, I had a few people
that I didn't even knowlistened, you know, that people we
know through work or whateverthat, you know, said they really
enjoyed the story and foundthe episode interesting and everything.
(09:45):
So people that tend to be, Ithink, probably creatively minded
that have probably heardsimilar things in their lives, definitely.
Even my wife said there were acouple things in there that she hadn't
heard before, so that was cool.
I would imagine that some ofour co workers listened and it kind
of filled in some of maybesome of the gaps that they, they
were not aware of or kind ofhow that journey brought you to where
(10:06):
we currently work. And, youknow, I guess I would be remiss if
I didn't mention that yourbrother was also on an episode of
the show with the. A verydifferent story, but also very related
to music in a way as well ofhow music saved his life, you know,
(10:28):
in a, In a more traumatic or abigger way or maybe.
Like a more literal way. Like,I don't, I don't think any of my
traumatic life moments wereactually like life threatening in
the ways. If anyone hasn'tlisten to, to his episode. He. He
had some really intensestruggles with alcohol that got really,
(10:50):
really bad for a while. And Ithink like, our, our relationship
and his relationship with hisfriends and then music itself kind
of like helped. It was one ofthe tools that he used to help pull
himself out of that and getsober and stuff.
And, and how drumsessentially, you know, getting into
drumming again and more so,you know, kind of is his outlet,
(11:10):
is the place where he feelssafe, centered and connected, which,
which I thought it was reallyinteresting to have both of your
conversations because you bothmentioned the, the pressure. I don't
know if pressure is the rightword, but the. Your father's desires
for both of you growing up.And it was interesting to hear the
perspectives as it relates tomusic and, and kind of doing what
(11:32):
society tells us to do. Sothat was, that was certainly interesting
to hear.
Yeah, it, it's. I mean, peopletalk about it being therapy, but
then to actually, like, it'sone of those phrases. But then when
I started thinking about itmore that way and seeing him use
it that way too, it helps you.Like, I, I didn't get diagnosed with
(11:53):
this until I got older, butlike, I have adhd and once I started
learning more about what thatactually means and how you're, you're
sort of starting at adeficiency of dopamine. Like, it's
harder for you to, to collectit and you have less of it than what,
you know, other people mighthave. And when I was, I was really
(12:14):
struggling with like somefrustrations and depressive states
that I'd come in and out ofand everything. I made a list of
the various things that Inoticed that I got like, like just
a huge dopamine surge from.And some of them are obvious. It's
like exercise or whatever. Ifound that like doing a 20 or 30
minute workout, I could getthe same like, mental buzz and kind
(12:35):
of lift myself out of it justby playing the guitar for a few minutes.
Like if I just grabbed theguitar, felt the way that the strings
kind of vibrated, played alongwith a song or two or something like
that, and almost always thatfive minutes would turn into an hour
or something like that. But sonow I kind of keep a list handy of
like, these are the activitiesto do if I'm, if I notice my brain
is sort of like in a, in arut. These, these are things that
(12:58):
are necessary to my existencethat will lift me back up pretty
quickly usually too. So justbeing more conscious of that stuff
has been helpful.
I mean, that's a, that's agreat idea, especially for creatives.
I think creatives, they canrelate to your story, they can relate
to how something brought itback or, or kind of actually built
(13:20):
your life, right? Like musicreally created what you're doing
in your life and the peoplethat surround you and, and the things
you love to do. And I thinksome creatives can relate to that
and maybe aren't as fortunate.But in your sense that if you can
keep, you know, if it keepsdrawing you back, you may want to
lean into it because theremight be something that can, you
(13:41):
know, kind of work togetherto, to create a better life. Like,
like we talked about in yourepisode, what was interesting is,
you know, you had your, yourmusic career in which that was your
career. Like you were creatingmusic, you were touring, you were
doing a lot more, right? Like,that was your main focus. But, but
now that you've come back tomusic at an older age after doing
(14:04):
other things, it allows you tocreate music for the sake of creating
music, right? Like more of a Apassion and. And doing what you want,
rather than this record labelwants us to do this, or music or
radio is telling me it has tobe this way. Are you still finding
that in your. Since werecorded, like, you've done more
with your. Your current band.Are you still finding that ability
(14:26):
to do it for what you want todo it for?
Yeah, yeah. There's alwayskind of like a pressure that I think
is just. It's kind of justbaked into our society in general.
Everybody struggles with thison social media and stuff too, where
there's always kind of like a.Well, it doesn't mean anything unless
it gets to this number oflikes or follows or whatever. And
(14:47):
I've definitely noticed achange in myself in terms of, like,
letting a lot of that go. AndI think it kind of goes to what I
was saying before. Like, nowwhen I think about band practice
or I think about like going tomake a music video or. Or whatever
it is that we're doing, Iwould say I'm more at like 70 to
80% thinking about it of like,I get to go burn off some negative
energy. I get to go like, youknow, just kind of make something
(15:10):
with my friends and it's a lothealthier, I think. Whereas I'm sure
if I had a time machine and Iwent back to like, you know, practices
when I was 19 and 20 yearsold, I. I'm willing to bet there's
just a dark cloud hanging overthe whole thing because of the external
pressure of like, what is thisgoing to turn into? It's not going
(15:30):
to matter if it doesn't makeus money. It's not going to matter
unless it gets to thisachievement level or whatever it
might be. And yeah, being ableto sort of like, go like, if that
happens, it happens. But I'veseen enough stories of rant, just
random people, somethingblowing up that doesn't deserve to
blow up, or the other wayaround. Somebody works really hard
(15:52):
and they slip through thecracks. Like it's. If it. You. You
kind of embrace the fact thatit's. It's a game of chance more
than it is anything else a lotof times. And yeah, I think that
kind of freed up some pressurethat I was. I was putting. Whether
I was putting it on myself orwhether it was coming from stuff
that was baked into me as akid. It was. It was there, you know.
Well, I think part of it too,like your earlier career, when you
(16:14):
were doing more touring andyou were doing more of that, trying
to make that a full. There wasA pressure to be successful. Probably
one. Right. You'd have to paythe bills, but also your family is
telling you, like, this isprobably not, you know, like, you're
not going to make a ton ofmoney. So I think there is that natural
pressure. But now you have ajob and you can do this, and if it
(16:35):
hits big, it hits big. If itdoesn't, and it serves the purpose,
like you said, of kind ofgetting out that energy, getting
good energy, working with yourfriends and your. And your brother.
I think there's a. There's alot of benefit in that, and I think
creatives can relate to that.I mean, I always think about the
podcast too. Right. It. All ittakes is one episode. Just like all
(16:55):
it takes is one song to hit.Right? Right. And so you never know.
You just keep creating. And ifit's bringing you joy as you do it,
then if it does, then it's awin, win. Otherwise, it's just a
win.
Right. And it's also, ifyou're doing it that way, like, if
you're just making what youlove and doing it because you love
(17:15):
it, then if it does hit, youhaven't stuck yourself in a situation
where you got to keep makingthings that maybe you were making
for the wrong reasons before.Where we've, like, you know, that
was something that kind ofhappened with the band that I was
in, in my, like, early 20s,was that we had this, like, EP that
kind of blew up underground inthe pop punk circles of that era.
And we almost felt, probablysome of us more than others, but
(17:39):
you almost felt committed to,like, we have to make more music
like that, even if that's notwhere our head is at at the. At the
moment. And, you know, like,if you're. If you're just making
for the sake of making stuffkeeps you from falling into that
trap, I think.
Well, yeah. And then you canpossibly start to resent it, like,
and then. Then you lose thelove for the act of creating itself.
(18:01):
So, I mean, I think your storyshared that, like, where you're at
is a pretty cool place for acreative standpoint, right? Like,
sure, I'm sure you'd love tobe a millionaire because of your
music, but at the same time,you're still able to enjoy the things
you want to do, but also paythe bills with your real job that
is still related to music. So,you know, it's kind of like you found
(18:22):
that nice space, or at leastwhat appears to be a comfortable
space.
Absolutely. It's. It allows meto focus on Other aspects of music
too, that I probably like. IfI was only making music all the time,
I don't know that I would evenhave the. The time or. Yeah, I just
may not have had the, the timeto jump into some of my other obsessions,
like getting. Because I'msuper into music history now. I really
(18:45):
like seeing how, like,artistic movements shape culture
and things like that too. Andit's made me, you know, a lot more
aware of those kinds ofthings. Whereas if I was just chasing,
like, we have to write a quoteunquote hit or something like that,
I'd probably be stuck in justlistening the same thing over and
over again, trying to copy it.And it's not a place I really want
to be anyway.
(19:05):
I know you do listen to a lotof podcasts one to find out more
music history and stuff. Isthere a particular, like, kind of
story that you are gravitatedor you gravitate towards when you're
listening to other podcasts?
I'm huge into comedy inparticular. That's like. And I, I
don't know if that came from.Yeah, if that. From the, the monkeys
(19:29):
as well, because I know that,like, when I first saw them, part
of what I was so fascinated bywas that it was like, musicians that
were really, like, having agood time with each other and like,
making jokes and like, thatwas just as appealing to me as the
music side of it was. So.Yeah, that most of my podcast stuff,
I don't know. I have a. At mycore, and I think this is probably
(19:53):
again, true of a lot ofcreative people. There's like, there's
sort of like this. What is it?I don't know. It might just be sadness
or, or something. There's.There's something sort of fragile
down there. And I, I. And Ialso am extremely empathetic to potentially,
like, a negative degree. Iwould say, like, I could. Let's say
(20:14):
I'm watching a movie orsomething that has. I don't know
what's a big trigger for me.Like torture. Like, if something,
something bad is happening tosomeone who is helpless or an animal
that is helpless. Yeah, I'mtalking like, like it could literally
be years that I'll be thinkingabout that. It'll send me, like,
into a spiral, you know, Like,I, I can barely handle stuff like
that. My point in saying thisis that when I go to external media,
(20:38):
I'm always looking foruplifting, funny, like, happy. Like,
I can't really dwell in, insad emotions too long because it's
already there. So I'm like,I've already dealt with a lot of
that, and I don't need more ofthat. So that being said, I. If it's
just people having funnyconversations or. I also really like
hearing the process behindcreating comedy from funny people.
(20:59):
And then I do a lot, you know,similar stuff from. From music. I
like hearing the lifecircumstances of. Of musicians from
the past and stuff.
So, yeah, that history elementis interesting to you.
Disgraceland in particular. Idon't know if you've ever heard that.
I think we talked about thatbriefly, but that one's really interesting.
It's not. Not the areas that Igo into. I. I lean into that, like,
(21:22):
tell me that a story. I know,and I will. I will eat that up.
Well.
But the thing is, you know, Ilisten to a lot of true crime, and
people are like, oh, how doyou listen to, you know, murder and
crimes? And I'm like, yourealize that the true crime shows
are not really about theactual murder, and they're not really
about the crime. They're apuzzle. Like, that's what I listen
(21:45):
to because I want to hear howthings came together and, you know,
we figured out how to solvethe issue. So I always think there's
like, this. This miss. It'snot aligned with what people think
true crime is, with what itactually is. But that's kind of my
case.
My. My wife is super into,like, you know, I'll walk by the
TV and she's watching anothercult thing or another murder, you
(22:08):
know, or whatever. And Itotally get that. It's. I think even
if it's not the focal point,if I heard the details of one of
those murders, though, I can'tget out of that space to. To proceed
to the puzzle. I also don'tlike puzzles. I'm like, just. Just
show me a finished picture. Idon't want to think about how it's
put together.
Hey, you know. But there's apodcast for everyone.
Yeah. That being said, though,I think that's what I get out of
(22:31):
diving into music history isthat you see a lot of people see
the tail end result of amovement. You know, it's like, oh,
whatever. Grunge in Seattle in1990. I like looking at, like, all
the different personalitiesthat led into that. Like, where did
it come from? What were theyreacting to? What did it launch?
You know, Like, I like seeingall the kind of moving pieces there.
I was about to say, and thennobody gets killed. But then I thought
(22:52):
of the grunge scene, and then,like, Everybody's dead.
Not just the grunge scene. Imean, we got all sorts of musicians
that have died in not so greatways. So to wrap this up, I think,
you know, I like to. To ask,is there anything. There's someone,
you know, out there that wantsto share their story or wants to
put something out there or isthinking about it? Is there anything
(23:14):
that you could say to someonethat's maybe a little bit hesitant
to do it, of the value ofsharing your story with other people?
Yeah, probably what we weresaying earlier is that it may help.
Help you more than yourealize. Like, you might be thinking
of it as, like, you're afraidto come out on a platform or, you
know, talk openly aboutsomething like that because of, I
(23:36):
don't know, whatever peoplefear external judgment, speaking
in public, whatever it mightbe, but sometimes just getting it
out of your head and into theworld, it might help you, like, function
a little bit better, too. Andthen, yeah, I think, like, for people
like us that are interestedin. In other people's stories, we
start to see ourselves in. Itmight give us advice. I know, you
(24:00):
know, some of some of theepisodes of your podcast that I listened
to, like, a lot of them werepeople we knew. Obviously, I listened
to my brothers, and it'sreally interesting to hear, like,
to humanize someone in thatway. I mean, he's someone that I'm
very close with. I know. Iknow him really well. But I learned
things in that episode that Iwouldn't have heard otherwise, because
just the nature of ourrelationship, you know, certain things
(24:22):
he wouldn't have even thoughtto tell me, probably. But going through
that process puts him outthere, and it helps me understand
him a little bit better. So,yeah, it's just. It's beneficial.
I'd say a lot more good comesout of it than. Than bad.
Yeah, I would agree. And if itwas bad, I wouldn't put it out there.
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I can'teven think of what bad would be,
you know?
Yeah, I. I've even had. I hadsomeone that. The episode came out
(24:46):
in January of this year, andshe was going to come on and talk
about, you know, her cancerdiagnosis. She had multiple cancer
diagnoses, and she was goingto come on, and she came on to this
recording where we do this,where we do the remote recording,
and she was like, I've beenlistening to a couple of these episodes,
and I'd like to share a storythat I've never told anyone in public.
(25:09):
You know, I've never toldanyone outside of my family. Can
I do that? And I was like,yes, because you just, like you said,
you never know, like, how aportion of your story will resonate
with someone at thatparticular moment in time that they're
listening. It might not evenbe the biggest chunk. It could just
be some throwaway sentencethat you thought was a throwaway
(25:31):
sentence that really connectedwith them. So I'm just so grateful
that all of you so far haveshared your stories and in all different
ways, and. And yours is a moreuplifting one. We have some sadder
ones, but, you know, Iappreciate it because there is a
story for everyone. There's apodcast for everyone. So thank you
(25:51):
for being a part of that. Andthank you for being a part of this,
for sure.
Yeah, my pleasure. I thinkit's a really cool thing that you're
doing. I love, like, justconnecting. Yeah. Being able to seek
those things and find themthrough other people's stories. It's
kind of what the whole all oflife is. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah.
We need to learn from eachother, and the only way we can do
(26:12):
that is share what we'veexperienced. And sometimes that's
really crappy things thatwe've learned from, or sometimes
it's really awesome thingsthat we can kind of emulate from
other people. So thank you forbeing a part of it, and thank you
all for listening. On thePatreon subscriber feed. For more
(26:40):
information, please visitwww.thelife shiftpodcast.com.
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and. And just the, I guess,warm fuzzies for helping me out with
the Life Shift podcast. But Iused to have other tiers where people
were so generous and wereoffering additional money each month
to get bonus episodes andpossible winnings of T shirts and
(00:45):
all sorts of things. And thenI realized a couple months ago that
I wasn't able to deliver whatI wanted to, especially for those
of you that were giving me theextra money. So right now we're just
kind of doing the early episodes.
You'll always get those.
So if you want to support theLife Shift podcast, Please jump to
patreon.com thelifeshiftpodcast and you can find that
(01:05):
information there. But I comeon here because I want to share a
series of these bonus episodesthat I did early on in the Patreon
journey. There are like 20plus episodes in which I had bonus
recordings with previousguests. So I would go back and we
would have a conversationabout the experience of sharing their
(01:26):
story on the Life Shiftpodcast. Catch up on anything. And
I think these are superimportant and I know most of them
did not see the light of dayfrom outside of the Patreon. So I'm
going to be dropping theseepisodes. Whatever you're listening
to now is another episode. SoI'm going to use the same intro for
all of them. But here is oneof the bonus episodes with a former
(01:49):
guest from the Life Shiftpodcast. And if you like this, let
me know because I'm thinkingof bringing some of this back and
talking to previous guests asI go into year four.
So.
So enjoy this bonus episodethat was once released on the Patreon
feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooley and this isthe Life Shift Candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal moments thathave changed lives forever. Today
I am joined by my friend Alex.And Alex, you were episode nine,
I think.
Nine. Okay. Yeah, I was gonna.I meant to tell you before we started
(02:30):
that I forgot what number it was.
Yeah, it was so long ago and.And you were part of the group, I
think, really you may havebeen recording or we may have recorded
it before I launched or rightaround the time that I launched the.
The podcast itself in March oflast year. It was pretty close to
the time period in which thiswas all just kind of a school project
and I didn't know where it wasgonna go. And now I've recorded,
(02:54):
by the time this comes out,probably close to 60 episodes. But
at this point, yeah, I'verecorded a 50 plus and I've released
40 something, and so we're.We're finding that. That groove.
So I appreciate that you cameon and trusted me enough. People
have told me all about howthey enjoyed your story. So before
(03:16):
we get any further, maybe youcan just kind of remind us of what
your episode was about.
We were touching base aboutthis before because I couldn't fully
remember because it was likeI. It was one of those things where,
like, I was trying to figureout a moment and it had something
to do with. With some pivotalmoment that music played in my life.
And I think the original ideawas when I got my first guitar, but
(03:38):
then as we talked more andmore, it seemed like it was coming
down to when I saw the Monkeyson TV when I was like, really, really
young. But one of those twothings, and then we just kind of
explored all the differentways that music has sort of like,
helped shape my relationshipsand the trajectory of my life in
different ways. Whether it wasplaying it, listening to it, teaching
about it, whatever.
Yeah.
(03:58):
You know, what was interestingabout your episode is I noticed that
it seemed like in your lifethere were parts of you that were
trying to, like, do what wasquote, unquote, expected of you that
wasn't in music. And somehowmusic always kind of brought you
back to it.
Oh, yeah. Every time, like,it. It's like an anchor or something
(04:20):
like that. It just. I. Ishould have learned probably sooner
to just quit, you know, cutout all the outside noise and. And
follow that a little bit more.I think, in fact, there. There's
been like, a couple timessince then where I will say, like,
after. After doing thatepisode with you, I started being
a little bit more, like, awareof when something involving music
(04:43):
was factoring into my lifedecisions. And there's been a couple
more instances since then thatI trace back to that. It's just interesting
to. To see it pop up, even inways I wouldn't think, you know?
Well, I mean, I've heard otherpeople talk about, you know, saying
all these things out loud isquite different than thinking of,
like, the little chunks oftime and kind of stringing Together,
(05:05):
this story or thisconversation about it. People are
like, you know, I didn'treally realize the impact that that
particular piece had on allthese other moments. So I'm not surprised
that by sharing that storythat now you're thinking about it
more and thinking how. Howeverything connects. I mean, I like
that. I think that's hopefullybeen beneficial for you in a way.
(05:27):
Oh, totally. It's like therapy.
Yeah.
Like, I think it's one of thegenuinely, like, one of the benefits
of therapy is that, like,sometimes there's all this stuff
floating around your head. Youjust say it out loud to someone and
you're like, oh, yeah, thatwas, like, painfully obvious. Why
don't I, like, act on thatnow? So it just kind of takes all
the jumble and puts it in the trajectory.
(05:47):
It's so. I don't know if youcan relate to this, but sometimes
I'll be thinking of something,and it seems so very dramatic in
my head, and then I'llverbalize it to someone else, and
I'll be like, wait a second.That sounds very inconsequential.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happensa lot. Or also, like, there. It's
(06:10):
almost like my brain hasfigured out something before. I've
realized that it figured itout. So I'll, like, have all this
information. I'll be like,man, I just don't know what to do.
And then I'll just, like, sayit out loud and then go, oh, well,
that's what I should do.
You know, like, it's allclearly written right in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.
I understand that you may bedifferent in this particular question
than some of my other guests.Some of my other guests have never
(06:31):
done a podcast or never reallyheard themselves on a microphone
of some sort. When you listento your episode, was there anything
that stood out to you or wasit. Was it a weird experience or
was this kind of like. Oh,yeah, no, it was.
It was kind of what we werejust saying. It was interesting to
hear it back and to, like. Ithink as we were talking, I found
more and more instances of,like, oh, I wouldn't have had this
(06:53):
relationship in my life if itwasn't for music. I wouldn't have
had, you know, wouldn't haveturned left at this, you know, juncture
in my life if it wasn't forit. And then I was able to verbalize
that better when. So I. I'vealways had this back and forth with
my dad, in particular, about,like, because he was very much like,
the. The one. And we talkedabout this in the episode too, about,
(07:14):
like, be a doctor or a lawyeror whatever. Don't, you know, follow
these creative things. Andthen just recently, I saw his brother.
I was. I was up north visitingsome family, and I saw his brother,
who I've always gotten alongwith really well, but he kind of,
like, weirdly, like, launchedinto me. Like, it was just he and
I in a room at one pointeating food, and he was kind of going
(07:35):
like, hey, like, I saw thatyou. You know, you and your brother,
you're. You're making thesemusic videos. They look like they
take a lot of work, you know,it doesn't take a lot of work and
time. And I was like, oh,yeah, yeah. Like, it's a lot of work,
you know, not knowing where hewas heading with it. And then he
was like, well, like, youknow, shouldn't you be putting that
into your career? Or, like,shouldn't you be putting that into,
you know, whatever? Like, whyare you putting that into. Into making
(07:58):
these things if it's, youknow? And as a result of sort of
reflecting on ourconversation, I had all this, like,
ammo at the ready where I waslike, dude, like, I wouldn't have
my job if I hadn't been doingthings like this my whole life. I
wouldn't have my wife. Iwouldn't have a close relationship
with my brother. You know,like, depending on where you're placing
value, I mean, even if you putthe value solely on money, I wouldn't
(08:22):
have a career or my currentcareer if it wasn't for music, and
I wouldn't have the money thatI have made from music. But besides
that, like, you know, it wasalmost kind of flipping the table
on him. Like, don't you thinkit's important to be close to your
family? Don't you think theseother relationships are important?
And those would not exist forme if it wasn't for music.
So, yeah, ammo.
(08:43):
Yeah. Yeah.
Now you have the back. Youhave all the proof written down.
Like, you did your researchpaper. Your dissertation is done.
Yeah, yeah. And what is lifeexperience for if not to weaponize
against your relatives?
Exactly. Especially holidaygatherings and things like that.
Oh, for sure. Yeah. I. I thinkthere was. There was definitely a
part of me that was wishing,like, I had been able to say all
(09:03):
of that to, like, my dad 20years ago or something. You know
what I mean?
Did. Speaking of that, did. Idon't know if any of your friends
or family listened to yourepisode. Did you get any feedback
from others that happened totake a listen to your story and you
know, it's.
I, I didn't ask a whole lotbecause I, I feel I, I get in my
(09:24):
head about stuff like that.I'm like, you know, don't tell me
if you liked it or not like,or whatever or, or just tell me you
like something if you know,because otherwise I'll think myself
into circles. But yeah,generally speaking, I had a few people
that I didn't even knowlistened, you know, that people we
know through work or whateverthat, you know, said they really
enjoyed the story and foundthe episode interesting and everything.
(09:45):
So people that tend to be, Ithink, probably creatively minded
that have probably heardsimilar things in their lives, definitely.
Even my wife said there were acouple things in there that she hadn't
heard before, so that was cool.
I would imagine that some ofour co workers listened and it kind
of filled in some of maybesome of the gaps that they, they
were not aware of or kind ofhow that journey brought you to where
(10:06):
we currently work. And, youknow, I guess I would be remiss if
I didn't mention that yourbrother was also on an episode of
the show with the. A verydifferent story, but also very related
to music in a way as well ofhow music saved his life, you know,
(10:28):
in a, In a more traumatic or abigger way or maybe.
Like a more literal way. Like,I don't, I don't think any of my
traumatic life moments wereactually like life threatening in
the ways. If anyone hasn'tlisten to, to his episode. He. He
had some really intensestruggles with alcohol that got really,
(10:50):
really bad for a while. And Ithink like, our, our relationship
and his relationship with hisfriends and then music itself kind
of like helped. It was one ofthe tools that he used to help pull
himself out of that and getsober and stuff.
And, and how drumsessentially, you know, getting into
drumming again and more so,you know, kind of is his outlet,
(11:10):
is the place where he feelssafe, centered and connected, which,
which I thought it was reallyinteresting to have both of your
conversations because you bothmentioned the, the pressure. I don't
know if pressure is the rightword, but the. Your father's desires
for both of you growing up.And it was interesting to hear the
perspectives as it relates tomusic and, and kind of doing what
(11:32):
society tells us to do. Sothat was, that was certainly interesting
to hear.
Yeah, it, it's. I mean, peopletalk about it being therapy, but
then to actually, like, it'sone of those phrases. But then when
I started thinking about itmore that way and seeing him use
it that way too, it helps you.Like, I, I didn't get diagnosed with
(11:53):
this until I got older, butlike, I have adhd and once I started
learning more about what thatactually means and how you're, you're
sort of starting at adeficiency of dopamine. Like, it's
harder for you to, to collectit and you have less of it than what,
you know, other people mighthave. And when I was, I was really
(12:14):
struggling with like somefrustrations and depressive states
that I'd come in and out ofand everything. I made a list of
the various things that Inoticed that I got like, like just
a huge dopamine surge from.And some of them are obvious. It's
like exercise or whatever. Ifound that like doing a 20 or 30
minute workout, I could getthe same like, mental buzz and kind
(12:35):
of lift myself out of it justby playing the guitar for a few minutes.
Like if I just grabbed theguitar, felt the way that the strings
kind of vibrated, played alongwith a song or two or something like
that, and almost always thatfive minutes would turn into an hour
or something like that. But sonow I kind of keep a list handy of
like, these are the activitiesto do if I'm, if I notice my brain
is sort of like in a, in arut. These, these are things that
(12:58):
are necessary to my existencethat will lift me back up pretty
quickly usually too. So justbeing more conscious of that stuff
has been helpful.
I mean, that's a, that's agreat idea, especially for creatives.
I think creatives, they canrelate to your story, they can relate
to how something brought itback or, or kind of actually built
(13:20):
your life, right? Like musicreally created what you're doing
in your life and the peoplethat surround you and, and the things
you love to do. And I thinksome creatives can relate to that
and maybe aren't as fortunate.But in your sense that if you can
keep, you know, if it keepsdrawing you back, you may want to
lean into it because theremight be something that can, you
(13:41):
know, kind of work togetherto, to create a better life. Like,
like we talked about in yourepisode, what was interesting is,
you know, you had your, yourmusic career in which that was your
career. Like you were creatingmusic, you were touring, you were
doing a lot more, right? Like,that was your main focus. But, but
now that you've come back tomusic at an older age after doing
(14:04):
other things, it allows you tocreate music for the sake of creating
music, right? Like more of a Apassion and. And doing what you want,
rather than this record labelwants us to do this, or music or
radio is telling me it has tobe this way. Are you still finding
that in your. Since werecorded, like, you've done more
with your. Your current band.Are you still finding that ability
(14:26):
to do it for what you want todo it for?
Yeah, yeah. There's alwayskind of like a pressure that I think
is just. It's kind of justbaked into our society in general.
Everybody struggles with thison social media and stuff too, where
there's always kind of like a.Well, it doesn't mean anything unless
it gets to this number oflikes or follows or whatever. And
(14:47):
I've definitely noticed achange in myself in terms of, like,
letting a lot of that go. AndI think it kind of goes to what I
was saying before. Like, nowwhen I think about band practice
or I think about like going tomake a music video or. Or whatever
it is that we're doing, Iwould say I'm more at like 70 to
80% thinking about it of like,I get to go burn off some negative
energy. I get to go like, youknow, just kind of make something
(15:10):
with my friends and it's a lothealthier, I think. Whereas I'm sure
if I had a time machine and Iwent back to like, you know, practices
when I was 19 and 20 yearsold, I. I'm willing to bet there's
just a dark cloud hanging overthe whole thing because of the external
pressure of like, what is thisgoing to turn into? It's not going
(15:30):
to matter if it doesn't makeus money. It's not going to matter
unless it gets to thisachievement level or whatever it
might be. And yeah, being ableto sort of like, go like, if that
happens, it happens. But I'veseen enough stories of rant, just
random people, somethingblowing up that doesn't deserve to
blow up, or the other wayaround. Somebody works really hard
(15:52):
and they slip through thecracks. Like it's. If it. You. You
kind of embrace the fact thatit's. It's a game of chance more
than it is anything else a lotof times. And yeah, I think that
kind of freed up some pressurethat I was. I was putting. Whether
I was putting it on myself orwhether it was coming from stuff
that was baked into me as akid. It was. It was there, you know.
Well, I think part of it too,like your earlier career, when you
(16:14):
were doing more touring andyou were doing more of that, trying
to make that a full. There wasA pressure to be successful. Probably
one. Right. You'd have to paythe bills, but also your family is
telling you, like, this isprobably not, you know, like, you're
not going to make a ton ofmoney. So I think there is that natural
pressure. But now you have ajob and you can do this, and if it
(16:35):
hits big, it hits big. If itdoesn't, and it serves the purpose,
like you said, of kind ofgetting out that energy, getting
good energy, working with yourfriends and your. And your brother.
I think there's a. There's alot of benefit in that, and I think
creatives can relate to that.I mean, I always think about the
podcast too. Right. It. All ittakes is one episode. Just like all
(16:55):
it takes is one song to hit.Right? Right. And so you never know.
You just keep creating. And ifit's bringing you joy as you do it,
then if it does, then it's awin, win. Otherwise, it's just a
win.
Right. And it's also, ifyou're doing it that way, like, if
you're just making what youlove and doing it because you love
(17:15):
it, then if it does hit, youhaven't stuck yourself in a situation
where you got to keep makingthings that maybe you were making
for the wrong reasons before.Where we've, like, you know, that
was something that kind ofhappened with the band that I was
in, in my, like, early 20s,was that we had this, like, EP that
kind of blew up underground inthe pop punk circles of that era.
And we almost felt, probablysome of us more than others, but
(17:39):
you almost felt committed to,like, we have to make more music
like that, even if that's notwhere our head is at at the. At the
moment. And, you know, like,if you're. If you're just making
for the sake of making stuffkeeps you from falling into that
trap, I think.
Well, yeah. And then you canpossibly start to resent it, like,
and then. Then you lose thelove for the act of creating itself.
(18:01):
So, I mean, I think your storyshared that, like, where you're at
is a pretty cool place for acreative standpoint, right? Like,
sure, I'm sure you'd love tobe a millionaire because of your
music, but at the same time,you're still able to enjoy the things
you want to do, but also paythe bills with your real job that
is still related to music. So,you know, it's kind of like you found
(18:22):
that nice space, or at leastwhat appears to be a comfortable
space.
Absolutely. It's. It allows meto focus on Other aspects of music
too, that I probably like. IfI was only making music all the time,
I don't know that I would evenhave the. The time or. Yeah, I just
may not have had the, the timeto jump into some of my other obsessions,
like getting. Because I'msuper into music history now. I really
(18:45):
like seeing how, like,artistic movements shape culture
and things like that too. Andit's made me, you know, a lot more
aware of those kinds ofthings. Whereas if I was just chasing,
like, we have to write a quoteunquote hit or something like that,
I'd probably be stuck in justlistening the same thing over and
over again, trying to copy it.And it's not a place I really want
to be anyway.
(19:05):
I know you do listen to a lotof podcasts one to find out more
music history and stuff. Isthere a particular, like, kind of
story that you are gravitatedor you gravitate towards when you're
listening to other podcasts?
I'm huge into comedy inparticular. That's like. And I, I
don't know if that came from.Yeah, if that. From the, the monkeys
(19:29):
as well, because I know that,like, when I first saw them, part
of what I was so fascinated bywas that it was like, musicians that
were really, like, having agood time with each other and like,
making jokes and like, thatwas just as appealing to me as the
music side of it was. So.Yeah, that most of my podcast stuff,
I don't know. I have a. At mycore, and I think this is probably
(19:53):
again, true of a lot ofcreative people. There's like, there's
sort of like this. What is it?I don't know. It might just be sadness
or, or something. There's.There's something sort of fragile
down there. And I, I. And Ialso am extremely empathetic to potentially,
like, a negative degree. Iwould say, like, I could. Let's say
(20:14):
I'm watching a movie orsomething that has. I don't know
what's a big trigger for me.Like torture. Like, if something,
something bad is happening tosomeone who is helpless or an animal
that is helpless. Yeah, I'mtalking like, like it could literally
be years that I'll be thinkingabout that. It'll send me, like,
into a spiral, you know, Like,I, I can barely handle stuff like
that. My point in saying thisis that when I go to external media,
(20:38):
I'm always looking foruplifting, funny, like, happy. Like,
I can't really dwell in, insad emotions too long because it's
already there. So I'm like,I've already dealt with a lot of
that, and I don't need more ofthat. So that being said, I. If it's
just people having funnyconversations or. I also really like
hearing the process behindcreating comedy from funny people.
(20:59):
And then I do a lot, you know,similar stuff from. From music. I
like hearing the lifecircumstances of. Of musicians from
the past and stuff.
So, yeah, that history elementis interesting to you.
Disgraceland in particular. Idon't know if you've ever heard that.
I think we talked about thatbriefly, but that one's really interesting.
It's not. Not the areas that Igo into. I. I lean into that, like,
(21:22):
tell me that a story. I know,and I will. I will eat that up.
Well.
But the thing is, you know, Ilisten to a lot of true crime, and
people are like, oh, how doyou listen to, you know, murder and
crimes? And I'm like, yourealize that the true crime shows
are not really about theactual murder, and they're not really
about the crime. They're apuzzle. Like, that's what I listen
(21:45):
to because I want to hear howthings came together and, you know,
we figured out how to solvethe issue. So I always think there's
like, this. This miss. It'snot aligned with what people think
true crime is, with what itactually is. But that's kind of my
case.
My. My wife is super into,like, you know, I'll walk by the
TV and she's watching anothercult thing or another murder, you
(22:08):
know, or whatever. And Itotally get that. It's. I think even
if it's not the focal point,if I heard the details of one of
those murders, though, I can'tget out of that space to. To proceed
to the puzzle. I also don'tlike puzzles. I'm like, just. Just
show me a finished picture. Idon't want to think about how it's
put together.
Hey, you know. But there's apodcast for everyone.
Yeah. That being said, though,I think that's what I get out of
(22:31):
diving into music history isthat you see a lot of people see
the tail end result of amovement. You know, it's like, oh,
whatever. Grunge in Seattle in1990. I like looking at, like, all
the different personalitiesthat led into that. Like, where did
it come from? What were theyreacting to? What did it launch?
You know, Like, I like seeingall the kind of moving pieces there.
I was about to say, and thennobody gets killed. But then I thought
(22:52):
of the grunge scene, and then,like, Everybody's dead.
Not just the grunge scene. Imean, we got all sorts of musicians
that have died in not so greatways. So to wrap this up, I think,
you know, I like to. To ask,is there anything. There's someone,
you know, out there that wantsto share their story or wants to
put something out there or isthinking about it? Is there anything
(23:14):
that you could say to someonethat's maybe a little bit hesitant
to do it, of the value ofsharing your story with other people?
Yeah, probably what we weresaying earlier is that it may help.
Help you more than yourealize. Like, you might be thinking
of it as, like, you're afraidto come out on a platform or, you
know, talk openly aboutsomething like that because of, I
(23:36):
don't know, whatever peoplefear external judgment, speaking
in public, whatever it mightbe, but sometimes just getting it
out of your head and into theworld, it might help you, like, function
a little bit better, too. Andthen, yeah, I think, like, for people
like us that are interestedin. In other people's stories, we
start to see ourselves in. Itmight give us advice. I know, you
(24:00):
know, some of some of theepisodes of your podcast that I listened
to, like, a lot of them werepeople we knew. Obviously, I listened
to my brothers, and it'sreally interesting to hear, like,
to humanize someone in thatway. I mean, he's someone that I'm
very close with. I know. Iknow him really well. But I learned
things in that episode that Iwouldn't have heard otherwise, because
just the nature of ourrelationship, you know, certain things
(24:22):
he wouldn't have even thoughtto tell me, probably. But going through
that process puts him outthere, and it helps me understand
him a little bit better. So,yeah, it's just. It's beneficial.
I'd say a lot more good comesout of it than. Than bad.
Yeah, I would agree. And if itwas bad, I wouldn't put it out there.
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I can'teven think of what bad would be,
you know?
Yeah, I. I've even had. I hadsomeone that. The episode came out
(24:46):
in January of this year, andshe was going to come on and talk
about, you know, her cancerdiagnosis. She had multiple cancer
diagnoses, and she was goingto come on, and she came on to this
recording where we do this,where we do the remote recording,
and she was like, I've beenlistening to a couple of these episodes,
and I'd like to share a storythat I've never told anyone in public.
(25:09):
You know, I've never toldanyone outside of my family. Can
I do that? And I was like,yes, because you just, like you said,
you never know, like, how aportion of your story will resonate
with someone at thatparticular moment in time that they're
listening. It might not evenbe the biggest chunk. It could just
be some throwaway sentencethat you thought was a throwaway
(25:31):
sentence that really connectedwith them. So I'm just so grateful
that all of you so far haveshared your stories and in all different
ways, and. And yours is a moreuplifting one. We have some sadder
ones, but, you know, Iappreciate it because there is a
story for everyone. There's apodcast for everyone. So thank you
(25:51):
for being a part of that. Andthank you for being a part of this,
for sure.
Yeah, my pleasure. I thinkit's a really cool thing that you're
doing. I love, like, justconnecting. Yeah. Being able to seek
those things and find themthrough other people's stories. It's
kind of what the whole all oflife is. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah.
We need to learn from eachother, and the only way we can do
(26:12):
that is share what we'veexperienced. And sometimes that's
really crappy things thatwe've learned from, or sometimes
it's really awesome thingsthat we can kind of emulate from
other people. So thank you forbeing a part of it, and thank you
all for listening. On thePatreon subscriber feed. For more
(26:40):
information, please visitwww.thelife shiftpodcast.com.
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