June 1, 2025 • 25 mins
Chantal Watts joins me again to dive into what’s changed since her first appearance on The Life Shift podcast. We get real about the impact of sharing her story, especially how it resonated with her former teacher and classmates.
Chantal reflects on the healing power of being open about her past and how it helped her connect with those who once knew her. It's all about the significance of vulnerability and how our stories can touch others, creating community and support. This bonus episode is a reminder that sharing isn’t just about us; it’s about the connections we forge along the way.
The Life Shift Rewind
I’m excited to share bonus episodes from Patreon, where I revisited past guests to discuss what has changed and the value of sharing their stories. Since I currently only have the lower tiers available, I wanted to make these conversations accessible to the public feed. If you'd like to support the show directly, please consider joining the $3 or $5 tier on Patreon – www.patreon.com/thelifeshiftpodcast.
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess, warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast. But I used tohave other tiers where people were
so generous and were offeringadditional money each month to get
(00:41):
bonus episodes and possiblewinnings of T shirts and all sorts
of things. And then I realizeda couple months ago that I wasn't
able to deliver what I wantedto, especially for those of you that
were giving me the extramoney. So right now we're just kind
of doing the early episodes.You'll always get those. So if you
want to support the Life Shiftpodcast, please jump over to patreon.com
(01:02):
forward/thelifeshiftpodpodcast and you can find that information
there. But I come on herebecause I want to share a series
of these bonus episodes that Idid early on in the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests. So Iwould go back and we would have a
(01:23):
conversation about theexperience of sharing their story
on the Life Shift podcast.Catch up on anything. And I think
these are super important andI know most of them did not see the
light of day from outside ofthe Patreon. So I'm going to be dropping
these episodes. Whateveryou're listening to now is another
episode. So I'm going to usethe same intro for all of them. But
(01:45):
here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
the Life Shift podcast. And ifyou like this, let me know because
I'm thinking of bringing someof this back and talking to previous
guests as I go into year four.So enjoy this bonus episode that
was once released on thePatreon feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooley and this isthe Life Shift candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal.
Moments that have changedlives forever.
This time we are joined byChantal. How are you today?
I'm good, how are you?
Fantastic. I'm so excited thatyou agreed to do this because I really
(02:32):
enjoyed talking to you aboutyour story and your episode because
I found, you know, as ateacher myself, I think hearing your
story and the impact that yourteacher had on you in high school
was just really inspiring andsuper cool. And I. I hope we can
talk a little bit more aboutthat. But just as a reminder to those
of you listening Chantal storyThere were. There were a couple areas
(02:54):
that we went into, but the onethat, that made the most impact for
me was you. You were kind ofat a space in which you were ready
to leave high school, and youwere just. You were done. You were.
There was bullies, and it wasjust not a good experience for you.
And a teacher happened to seeyou one day just feeling not so great.
And you. And you told thatteacher kind of what your plans were,
(03:16):
and they said, they said, holdon. Go home, write a couple poems.
We're going to submit this fora scholarship. And then your whole
life changed because you wrotethose poems. You ended up getting
a scholarship, you went tocollege. All these cool things that
came from a teacher caringenough to be like, wait, hold on
a second. Did I do a goodrecap of that?
(03:38):
Yeah, that's the gist of it. Exactly.
So on these bonus episodes, I.I like to just kind of talk about
after the recording and ifthere were any things, you know,
any kind of reactions orfeedback or anything like that as
it relates to sharing yourstory. Because so many people. I
think there's a lot of peoplethat are afraid to share their story,
(03:58):
even if it's like, super goodor we want to, like, coat it with
something that sounds veryperformative or, you know, everything
was sunshine and rainbows. Andso I'm wondering, once you kind of
finish sharing your story withme, and I didn't know that story,
did you feel any sort of wayafter you. After we pressed stop
on the recording?
You know, I don't think it hadtoo much of an impact on me to share
(04:23):
the story. You know, italways. You always feel a little
bit lighter when you take thetime to kind of offload some of your
stuff, whether it's good orbad, just to share it with somebody
else and to say it out loudalways feels good. So, you know,
and then there was obviouslynerves knowing that this would go
on social media where, like,people that I went to high school
with were going to listen toit. And there's always the people
(04:44):
who might not have greatfeedback or, like, what if my bullies
see the link and they listento it? You know, it's just like.
So there's. There's always alittle bit of hesitancy, but at the
same time, like, I'm a Grownadult. And those bullies are nothing
to me. So, like, I don't trulycare, but you can't help that little
bit of hesitancy in the firstplace. But it, you know, it always
(05:07):
feels good when you take amoment to say the things that constantly
bounce around in your head out loud.
Totally. I talked to a couplepeople recently, and we were like,
it's such a differentexperience when the words come out
of your mouth. Then, you know,you can. Everything sounds really.
Sometimes things sound reallybig and major in your head, and then
(05:28):
you say it out loud, you'relike, oh, that's not. That's not
so bad. Like, we can getthrough this. These. These. These
things are. You know, we canget past whatever we're facing here.
But when it was in our head,it was like, oh, no way. There's
no. I can't do that. So I.
That is combating anxiety in a nutshell.
Totally. So I. I get thatfeeling of, like, the little bit
(05:50):
of apprehension. But you knowwhat? Those bullies kind of served
you well in a way because itkind of led you to these spots in
which, you know, your teachersaw that in you and saw what was
happening. So screw them.
Absolutely.
What about when you. When youlisten to it? For me, when I listen
to these episodes, I try to bereally in the moment when we have
(06:13):
these conversations. And sowhen I go back and listen, it's like
a completely differentexperience for me because I'm like,
I. I don't remember eventalking about that. Did you have
any of those feelings when youlistened back to it?
Yeah, it's the same. It's thesame for me where, you know, you're
just in the moment having thisconversation, and it's like, my words
aren't premeditated, and I'mnot, you know, reading from a script.
(06:34):
And so you go back and youlisten, and anytime I do any kind
of a podcast setting where Ihave to go back and listen to the
episode later, it's like, oh,oh. I don't really remember that
portion of that conversationhappening. But, yeah, okay, you know,
and you just kind of. You getto listen to it from a different
perspective of, you know, nothaving to that conscious, that stream
(06:57):
of consciousness happening.You're able to just sit and take
it all in. And so it's alwaysfun for me to go back and. And listen
again, you know, activelyinstead of participating. You know
what I mean? Does that makesense? So, yeah, it's. It's fun.
I like your story too, becauseit's like, your life now, that version
(07:19):
of Chantal, like, in highschool, could not imagine what you're
doing because of thecircumstances. And so listening back
to it, you're almost telling.You're almost like, telling us, you
know, this. The story ofsomeone else. Like, you're on the.
You know, you're listening,you're eavesdropping to. To someone
else's story, but it's yours.And you're like, oh, I didn't think
(07:40):
I was going to tell it thatway. I. And I know we talked about
this. You were able to. Ormaybe you had already been connected
a little bit, but you wereable to reconnect a little bit. Your
teacher actually heard theepisode, right?
Yeah, I had a couple peoplereach out after the episode, but
Mr. Blesky, the teacher, theheadliner of my story, he, you know,
(08:03):
we've been friends on Facebooksince high school days, and we, you
know, every now and then, I'llpop in and send him a message or,
you know, we'll comment oneach other's things. And so there's
always been, like, thislittle, you know, like, most people
communicate on social mediablips here and there. And, you know,
he just listened, and he, youknow, was like, oh, it's just one
of those things where I thinkit's something so prominent for me
(08:28):
and something that takes uppermanent headspace for me. But for
him, like, he doesn't thinkabout that. Like, that's not something
that he remembers evenhappening, probably. And so I think
that it probably took him alittle bit by surprise, because while
I have thanked him in thepast, you know, I have taken time
over the years to be like,hey, you know, thank you again. Like,
(08:48):
hey, this just happened allbecause of you. You know, stuff like
that. I think hearing itthrough my voice and hearing my story
play out instead of just therandom words in a Facebook message,
you know, probably had alittle bit more impact for him. And
so I'm glad that I was able tohave this new medium of sharing that
(09:09):
gratitude to him. And, youknow, he lives down in Key west now.
And so, you know, I know thatI have a friend down there, and if
my family and I ever headsouth, we will 100% meet up, have
some lunch, like, gettogether. And it's just nice to know
that that connection is therebecause he's somebody that I definitely
want to keep in my life in oneway or another. And so I think that
(09:31):
it was really nice for both ofus to be able to have the story shared
and reminded you know,refreshed in his mind. And then,
you know, I had classmatesreach out to me. One classmate in
particular, one of my, know,high school friends, Jenny, she reached
out and was just, like,floored, you know, by what she heard.
And she was just like, I'm sosorry. Like, I'm sorry that I didn't
(09:54):
do more to help you or do moreto protect you. And, you know, I'm
like, listen, we're 16, 17years old. We're. When you're that
age, at least my generation,you didn't really live outside of
yourself in your own bubble.You know, obviously, if you see somebody,
like, crying in a corner or,like, bleeding on the floor, you'll
(10:15):
go, oh, let me touch base withthis person. But when there are people
walking around you with, like,inner turmoil or struggles or battles,
you don't. You know, whenyou're a teen, you're not, like,
paying attention for thosesmall cues. You're not paying attention
for that body language orthose silent cries for help. So,
like, you know, I don't holdgrudges against people, period. But
(10:37):
I don't hold any ill willtowards my friends, you know, the.
The friends that I had in highschool. I'm not mad at them. Like,
how dare you not help me oradvocate for me or speak up for me,
like, because, listen, we'rekids. We all have our own set of
things going on. You know,we're not living beyond that. And
(10:57):
that is never something that Iwould, like, hold against anyone.
And. But it was still. She wasjust, you know, she's like, I'm so
sorry. And she asked me. She'slike, you know, we discussed some
more details, and just havingher reach out to say, you know, like,
it breaks my heart to hearthis. I had no idea. Thank you for
sharing it. It just. It's.It's nice to kind of feel heard,
(11:19):
even if it is, gosh, what, 12,14 years later. Yeah. Hurts. Even
though it's so many years, youknow, over a decade later, it's nice
to have somebody be like, hey,I hear you. You know, and that was
really great to have a few ofthose classmates be like, you know,
thanks for sharing. We had noidea. Like, we're so sorry you went
(11:40):
through that. And that was.That was cool, you know, to reconnect
with them a little bit moreand have that result from my episode
as well.
What's nice about that? AndI've created the show because I wanted
listeners to feel heard orless alone. Right. But what I'm finding
and it's been really great. Isthat so many of the guests are also
(12:03):
saying something similar towhat you're saying, is that, like,
it's maybe not the act of. Ofrecording it, but the act of this
episode. Someone hears it andthen reaches out and creates this.
This new connection. And likeyou said, and you feel heard, even
though it's down the line,it's. It's like some kind of extra
healing for some people, youknow, through this journey of the
(12:27):
Life Shift podcast. Notnecessarily one particular part is,
you know, more impactful thananother, but, you know, it's nice
to hear this, but also knowthat listeners, too, probably heard
your story, don't know you.Right. But are like, oh, you know,
I don't feel this has happenedto me, or I've been bullied, too.
(12:48):
I'm not the only one that, youknow, and I chose to do xyz. Maybe
it's not the exact same story,but they. They. They feel a little
less alone in that experience. So.
And that's. That's very real,that situation that you're talking
about where, like, a listenerwill hear an episode and feel a connection
with the person, and, youknow, it. I went on a podcast a few
years ago, and a woman heardit, and she reached out to me through
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social media and was like,hey, I heard you. You on, you know,
this XYZ podcast. You soundreally cool, and I think we have
a lot in common, and I wouldlove to, like, meet you in person.
And I was just like, oh, myGod, this is crazy. Okay. You know,
and I. I met up with her, andshe's still my friend to this day.
We still get together and talkand text and exchange gifts for no
(13:33):
reason. And, you know, like,all because this woman heard me on
a podcast and was like, I likeher. I want to be her friend, and
took that leap and reached outto me, and, like, now I have this
lifelong friend, and our kidsplay together, and it's just this
amazing thing. So I love thatyour show is giving that opportunity
to others as well, becauseit's. It happens. It's very real.
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You know, we're just humanshaving this experience trying to
do the same thing, right?We're just trying to live their lives
and try to live our bestlives. And sometimes we hide the
things that other people canactually relate to because we want
to be performative or we wantto be seen a certain way. And so
I'm so grateful that everyonethat's. That's agreed to be a guest
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has been so open and justlike, here's. Here it is, you know,
and if this can help oneperson, we all win. You know, humanity
wins in a sense, because ifthat one person is now feeling less
alone leading a better life,whatever it may be, I consider that
a win. Did you hear fromanyone that, like, just didn't know
your backstory and, like, is acurrent friend of yours? And they
(14:39):
were like, I did not know. Ican't imagine what your life would
have been like had you notdone that.
You know, I'm. I'm a very openperson. And so there are not very
many people who at least likethe people who I interact with regularly
who don't know, you know, ifnot all of most of my story, because
(15:00):
I'm a habitual oversharer, youknow, and I'm like, this is who I
am. Good, bad, you know, andin between. And, you know, I. So
there aren't a lot of peoplewho would have listened to that episode
that I'm already close withwho wouldn't have known at least
the majority of the situation.So, yeah, that wasn't. That wasn't
(15:22):
necessarily experience for me.
I've had a few people, andthis is probably not true of your
story, but I've had a fewpeople who have shared their story,
and then they got somesurprising feedback from people in
which it was like, not good,or. Or that's not how it happened,
or that's not how I saw ithappen. Did you have any of those?
(15:44):
It sounds like probably not.
Fortunately, no. Granted, youknow, the people that I think would
have given feedback like, thatwould have been the people who tormented
me in school, and I don'tassociate with them or with people
who associate with them. Youknow, like, I've very thoroughly
moved away from any. Anycircles where those types of people
(16:06):
linger. So I don't think thatthe episode would have gone out to
anyone who would hold thatmindset good. But, yeah, no, that's.
You know, there's always.Especially if there's a situation
where somebody feels they maybe being attacked or maybe they're
being thrown into a bad lightin the sense in, you know, in a situation
with me where I'm talkingabout bullies, it's like, even if
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I don't say them by name, ifthey know that they're the person
I'm referring to, theirdefenses are going to go up, their
hackles are going to raise,and of course they're going to come
back and be like, grumble,grumble. That's not what happened.
How dare you and it's like,well, this is a you problem. You
know. And so fortunately, no,that was not anything that I had
to deal with.
Yours was a heartwarming storyfor me. So it, you know, it was interesting
(16:53):
for me. I shared my personalstory on an episode and what it led
to was, you know, lots ofpeople reached out and they didn't,
you know, I'm an oversharer aswell, so most people I knew know
that story. But I got to havea really great conversation with
my dad because, you know, welive the same experience but in totally
(17:15):
different ways because he wasin his 30s, I was 8, and you know,
in the way he saw things. Soit was really interesting to have
a conversation about it andyou know, the unnecessary apologies
that came from him saying, youknow, I didn't do that on purpose
or you know, like, whatever itmay have been. And it was like, well,
no, like you said, it's, youknow, it's just like that was a hundred
(17:37):
years ago and you did the bestyou could with what you knew. Right.
And so, but it led to such agreat conversation for me. So it
was just so valuable one,sharing my story, but then also having
my dad hear it in that wayinstead of like a conversation to
process it. And then we wereable to have that conversation. So
I was blessed in, in thatsense, you know, like, that's a win
(17:58):
for me if, if nothing else,that we get to have that conversation.
As a podcast listener, what doyou, what are you typically drawn
towards? Like what stories doyou like to. If you listen to non
fiction or interview showslike this one, you know.
When, when I listen to anykind of nonfiction, like my big ones
are Dax Shepard's ArmchairExpert. I love that podcast. There's,
(18:22):
I can't even remember the nameof it. There's a podcast with Will
Arnett and Sean Hayes and Ican't remember the name, but my husband
and I listen to that podcast.I like podcasts that, similar to
yours, give you kind of thisinsight into people and information
(18:44):
and situations that you maynot have been privy to before. That's
really fun. Like things thatare revealing and that are. But also
like I'm not even just likesuper heavy stuff, but just like
light hearted. It can still berevealing and it can still be like
illuminating. And so those arelike the interview style nonfictions
that I enjoy. And then ofcourse, you know, stuff like the
(19:06):
Office Ladies and you know, myvarious entertainment where again
you're getting these detailsand facts and figures that you didn't
know before, but it'ssomething that, you know, you love
and now you get to learn and,you know, have all of this new stuff
in, these new details berevealed to you. And so that's really
(19:26):
fun for me as well. So there'skind of an underlying similarity
to all the podcasts that Ilisten to, but for the most part,
I like more light fun, butstill, like, revealing and informative.
Well, life is tough enoughsometimes, right? We wanna, we wanna
go to the lightness. Andspeaking of lightness and the armchair
Expert. Is that what it's called?
(19:47):
Armchair Expert? Yeah.
Yeah. So on social media, Ifollow Kristen Bell, and when she
did her 2022 wrap up, armchairexpert was number two on her list,
of course. And she posted andshe was like, bad wife.
Yeah, that's all right. Hey,we are gonna live our truth, right?
It was. I, I love KristenBell, but I'll listen to anything
(20:09):
she does.
Absolutely.
My last question is reallyjust. I like to talk to former guests
that have come on, sharedtheir story, done kind of the whole
process. If there's someonethat's maybe like, they want to share
their story, but they're alittle hesitant, is there something
that you could share with themabout the value of sharing your story?
I know you're an oversharerlike me, so is there any, any advice
(20:31):
that you could give someonethat's just like, I don't want everyone
to know, but I really do thinkI should share it?
You know, there's. There'smultiple things and multiple reasons
why I think being open andhonest and sharing is important.
You know, the first, which Itouched on, getting it out of your
(20:51):
head and out of your mouthlightens your load a little bit.
It really does. It doesn'ttake away the thoughts or the situations
or the experience, but. But itputs it out there so that you're
not just harboring it byyourself. There's a lot to be said
for speaking things out loud.And even if you just speak them out
loud alone in your room tostart, you're speaking them out loud,
(21:13):
and that's helping. But thenwhen it comes to, you know, speaking
your story to others, itdoesn't matter who you are, what
your situation is, everyonecan relate to everyone in some way.
So while somebody may begiving a super heavy, traumatic story
(21:35):
about, like, a very traumaticlife that they've lived, everyone
in some way will likely takesomething from that that they relate
to, whether it be a thought, afeeling like, or a physical experience,
like, there is some nuggetthat, that Your story will relate
(21:59):
for other people, if thatmakes sense. Like, so knowing that
by speaking your story andputting it out there, there's going
to be people who, in some,whether it's a minute way or a massive
way, there are gonna be peoplewho relate and who hear you and who
understand what you're sayingor what you're feeling. And that,
(22:20):
again, you're not alone. Itgives you a little bit more community.
It gives you that little bitof a boost of support and of love,
even if it's from strangers.So, you know, sharing and putting
your stories out there andspeaking what's on your mind can
help you not feel like you'rethe only person dealing with it or
(22:43):
who they can guide you to,other people who understand or maybe
who have felt similar ways butfor different reasons. So, you know,
there's a lot of positives andgood reasons to take that leap and
do that scary thing and saythose. Say the thing that you need
to say. And even if you startat home by yourself, speaking out
(23:03):
into the void of your room,that's how you start. And then you're
saying it on a podcast with,you know, hundreds or thousands or
even more listeners, and thenyou know that there's going to be
people out there who maybethey don't understand and they're
just hearing you, but thenthere's going to be people out there
who understand on some levelwhat you're saying. And you have
community.
(23:23):
You know, it's interesting tothat point. I've. You know, I've
put out a lot of episodes now,and I'll hear from people that say,
you know, I listened to thisepisode and this particular part
really moved me. And in mybrain, you know, like, you, you.
When I put out show notes andI put out titles and whatnot, there's
(23:44):
a theme, right? There'ssomething that, like, this is the
pivotal moment that we'rereally talking about. And these people
come by and they're like, thispart over here, this one, like, way
in the obscure background. Andyou're like, I can't believe that's
the part. You know, like, ofall the things. So you're right.
You never know when someone.What someone's going through at the
moment that they're listeningto, because, like, that can change
(24:07):
something as well. So you're100% right that your story, whoever's
story, can affect pretty mucheveryone in some. In some way, because,
again, we're all humans tryingto do the same damn thing.
Yeah. And it doesn't matter ifit's your joys, if it's your trauma,
if it's your feelings andemotions. Everyone can relate on
(24:30):
some level to something thatyou have to say. So why not share
that and feel that?
And I think there's somethingto be said too, of, like, maybe the
people that are sharing thesemore traumatic stories, knowing that
other people are listening andin general, humans are rooting for
each other to succeed, to comeout. And if you're sharing a story
(24:54):
and you're maybe still insomething, maybe there's someone
that's going to reach out andactually share their story to help
you. Right. And, and so itcreates that community, like you
said. So, speaking ofcommunity, I just appreciate that
you one trusted me to put yourstory on, on the Life Shift podcast,
that you came back for this.I. I appreciate your friendship.
(25:17):
I know we haven't seen eachother in 400 or so years, but I just
appreciate you being a part of this.
Absolutely. Happy to be here.
Well, for those of youlistening, we will have another bonus
episode in a few weeks. And,and thank you to Chantal for sharing
the reaction to sharing yourstory on this bonus episode.
(25:38):
Thank you.
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
Hello, my friends. I justwanted to drop some special bonus
episodes into the feed thatyou probably have not heard unless
you are a part or an earlypart of the Patreon for the Life
Shift podcast. If you don'tknow, I do have a Patreon. It currently
only has two tiers. One is athree dollar a month tier just to
(00:21):
support what I'm doing, helpscover production costs. And then
there's a five dollar tierwhich will get you episodes early
and just the, I guess, warmfuzzies for help out with the Life
Shift podcast. But I used tohave other tiers where people were
so generous and were offeringadditional money each month to get
(00:41):
bonus episodes and possiblewinnings of T shirts and all sorts
of things. And then I realizeda couple months ago that I wasn't
able to deliver what I wantedto, especially for those of you that
were giving me the extramoney. So right now we're just kind
of doing the early episodes.You'll always get those. So if you
want to support the Life Shiftpodcast, please jump over to patreon.com
(01:02):
forward/thelifeshiftpodpodcast and you can find that information
there. But I come on herebecause I want to share a series
of these bonus episodes that Idid early on in the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests. So Iwould go back and we would have a
(01:23):
conversation about theexperience of sharing their story
on the Life Shift podcast.Catch up on anything. And I think
these are super important andI know most of them did not see the
light of day from outside ofthe Patreon. So I'm going to be dropping
these episodes. Whateveryou're listening to now is another
episode. So I'm going to usethe same intro for all of them. But
(01:45):
here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
the Life Shift podcast. And ifyou like this, let me know because
I'm thinking of bringing someof this back and talking to previous
guests as I go into year four.So enjoy this bonus episode that
was once released on thePatreon feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooley and this isthe Life Shift candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal.
Moments that have changedlives forever.
This time we are joined byChantal. How are you today?
I'm good, how are you?
Fantastic. I'm so excited thatyou agreed to do this because I really
(02:32):
enjoyed talking to you aboutyour story and your episode because
I found, you know, as ateacher myself, I think hearing your
story and the impact that yourteacher had on you in high school
was just really inspiring andsuper cool. And I. I hope we can
talk a little bit more aboutthat. But just as a reminder to those
of you listening Chantal storyThere were. There were a couple areas
(02:54):
that we went into, but the onethat, that made the most impact for
me was you. You were kind ofat a space in which you were ready
to leave high school, and youwere just. You were done. You were.
There was bullies, and it wasjust not a good experience for you.
And a teacher happened to seeyou one day just feeling not so great.
And you. And you told thatteacher kind of what your plans were,
(03:16):
and they said, they said, holdon. Go home, write a couple poems.
We're going to submit this fora scholarship. And then your whole
life changed because you wrotethose poems. You ended up getting
a scholarship, you went tocollege. All these cool things that
came from a teacher caringenough to be like, wait, hold on
a second. Did I do a goodrecap of that?
(03:38):
Yeah, that's the gist of it. Exactly.
So on these bonus episodes, I.I like to just kind of talk about
after the recording and ifthere were any things, you know,
any kind of reactions orfeedback or anything like that as
it relates to sharing yourstory. Because so many people. I
think there's a lot of peoplethat are afraid to share their story,
(03:58):
even if it's like, super goodor we want to, like, coat it with
something that sounds veryperformative or, you know, everything
was sunshine and rainbows. Andso I'm wondering, once you kind of
finish sharing your story withme, and I didn't know that story,
did you feel any sort of wayafter you. After we pressed stop
on the recording?
You know, I don't think it hadtoo much of an impact on me to share
(04:23):
the story. You know, italways. You always feel a little
bit lighter when you take thetime to kind of offload some of your
stuff, whether it's good orbad, just to share it with somebody
else and to say it out loudalways feels good. So, you know,
and then there was obviouslynerves knowing that this would go
on social media where, like,people that I went to high school
with were going to listen toit. And there's always the people
(04:44):
who might not have greatfeedback or, like, what if my bullies
see the link and they listento it? You know, it's just like.
So there's. There's always alittle bit of hesitancy, but at the
same time, like, I'm a Grownadult. And those bullies are nothing
to me. So, like, I don't trulycare, but you can't help that little
bit of hesitancy in the firstplace. But it, you know, it always
(05:07):
feels good when you take amoment to say the things that constantly
bounce around in your head out loud.
Totally. I talked to a couplepeople recently, and we were like,
it's such a differentexperience when the words come out
of your mouth. Then, you know,you can. Everything sounds really.
Sometimes things sound reallybig and major in your head, and then
(05:28):
you say it out loud, you'relike, oh, that's not. That's not
so bad. Like, we can getthrough this. These. These. These
things are. You know, we canget past whatever we're facing here.
But when it was in our head,it was like, oh, no way. There's
no. I can't do that. So I.
That is combating anxiety in a nutshell.
Totally. So I. I get thatfeeling of, like, the little bit
(05:50):
of apprehension. But you knowwhat? Those bullies kind of served
you well in a way because itkind of led you to these spots in
which, you know, your teachersaw that in you and saw what was
happening. So screw them.
Absolutely.
What about when you. When youlisten to it? For me, when I listen
to these episodes, I try to bereally in the moment when we have
(06:13):
these conversations. And sowhen I go back and listen, it's like
a completely differentexperience for me because I'm like,
I. I don't remember eventalking about that. Did you have
any of those feelings when youlistened back to it?
Yeah, it's the same. It's thesame for me where, you know, you're
just in the moment having thisconversation, and it's like, my words
aren't premeditated, and I'mnot, you know, reading from a script.
(06:34):
And so you go back and youlisten, and anytime I do any kind
of a podcast setting where Ihave to go back and listen to the
episode later, it's like, oh,oh. I don't really remember that
portion of that conversationhappening. But, yeah, okay, you know,
and you just kind of. You getto listen to it from a different
perspective of, you know, nothaving to that conscious, that stream
(06:57):
of consciousness happening.You're able to just sit and take
it all in. And so it's alwaysfun for me to go back and. And listen
again, you know, activelyinstead of participating. You know
what I mean? Does that makesense? So, yeah, it's. It's fun.
I like your story too, becauseit's like, your life now, that version
(07:19):
of Chantal, like, in highschool, could not imagine what you're
doing because of thecircumstances. And so listening back
to it, you're almost telling.You're almost like, telling us, you
know, this. The story ofsomeone else. Like, you're on the.
You know, you're listening,you're eavesdropping to. To someone
else's story, but it's yours.And you're like, oh, I didn't think
(07:40):
I was going to tell it thatway. I. And I know we talked about
this. You were able to. Ormaybe you had already been connected
a little bit, but you wereable to reconnect a little bit. Your
teacher actually heard theepisode, right?
Yeah, I had a couple peoplereach out after the episode, but
Mr. Blesky, the teacher, theheadliner of my story, he, you know,
(08:03):
we've been friends on Facebooksince high school days, and we, you
know, every now and then, I'llpop in and send him a message or,
you know, we'll comment oneach other's things. And so there's
always been, like, thislittle, you know, like, most people
communicate on social mediablips here and there. And, you know,
he just listened, and he, youknow, was like, oh, it's just one
of those things where I thinkit's something so prominent for me
(08:28):
and something that takes uppermanent headspace for me. But for
him, like, he doesn't thinkabout that. Like, that's not something
that he remembers evenhappening, probably. And so I think
that it probably took him alittle bit by surprise, because while
I have thanked him in thepast, you know, I have taken time
over the years to be like,hey, you know, thank you again. Like,
(08:48):
hey, this just happened allbecause of you. You know, stuff like
that. I think hearing itthrough my voice and hearing my story
play out instead of just therandom words in a Facebook message,
you know, probably had alittle bit more impact for him. And
so I'm glad that I was able tohave this new medium of sharing that
(09:09):
gratitude to him. And, youknow, he lives down in Key west now.
And so, you know, I know thatI have a friend down there, and if
my family and I ever headsouth, we will 100% meet up, have
some lunch, like, gettogether. And it's just nice to know
that that connection is therebecause he's somebody that I definitely
want to keep in my life in oneway or another. And so I think that
(09:31):
it was really nice for both ofus to be able to have the story shared
and reminded you know,refreshed in his mind. And then,
you know, I had classmatesreach out to me. One classmate in
particular, one of my, know,high school friends, Jenny, she reached
out and was just, like,floored, you know, by what she heard.
And she was just like, I'm sosorry. Like, I'm sorry that I didn't
(09:54):
do more to help you or do moreto protect you. And, you know, I'm
like, listen, we're 16, 17years old. We're. When you're that
age, at least my generation,you didn't really live outside of
yourself in your own bubble.You know, obviously, if you see somebody,
like, crying in a corner or,like, bleeding on the floor, you'll
(10:15):
go, oh, let me touch base withthis person. But when there are people
walking around you with, like,inner turmoil or struggles or battles,
you don't. You know, whenyou're a teen, you're not, like,
paying attention for thosesmall cues. You're not paying attention
for that body language orthose silent cries for help. So,
like, you know, I don't holdgrudges against people, period. But
(10:37):
I don't hold any ill willtowards my friends, you know, the.
The friends that I had in highschool. I'm not mad at them. Like,
how dare you not help me oradvocate for me or speak up for me,
like, because, listen, we'rekids. We all have our own set of
things going on. You know,we're not living beyond that. And
(10:57):
that is never something that Iwould, like, hold against anyone.
And. But it was still. She wasjust, you know, she's like, I'm so
sorry. And she asked me. She'slike, you know, we discussed some
more details, and just havingher reach out to say, you know, like,
it breaks my heart to hearthis. I had no idea. Thank you for
sharing it. It just. It's.It's nice to kind of feel heard,
(11:19):
even if it is, gosh, what, 12,14 years later. Yeah. Hurts. Even
though it's so many years, youknow, over a decade later, it's nice
to have somebody be like, hey,I hear you. You know, and that was
really great to have a few ofthose classmates be like, you know,
thanks for sharing. We had noidea. Like, we're so sorry you went
(11:40):
through that. And that was.That was cool, you know, to reconnect
with them a little bit moreand have that result from my episode
as well.
What's nice about that? AndI've created the show because I wanted
listeners to feel heard orless alone. Right. But what I'm finding
and it's been really great. Isthat so many of the guests are also
(12:03):
saying something similar towhat you're saying, is that, like,
it's maybe not the act of. Ofrecording it, but the act of this
episode. Someone hears it andthen reaches out and creates this.
This new connection. And likeyou said, and you feel heard, even
though it's down the line,it's. It's like some kind of extra
healing for some people, youknow, through this journey of the
(12:27):
Life Shift podcast. Notnecessarily one particular part is,
you know, more impactful thananother, but, you know, it's nice
to hear this, but also knowthat listeners, too, probably heard
your story, don't know you.Right. But are like, oh, you know,
I don't feel this has happenedto me, or I've been bullied, too.
(12:48):
I'm not the only one that, youknow, and I chose to do xyz. Maybe
it's not the exact same story,but they. They. They feel a little
less alone in that experience. So.
And that's. That's very real,that situation that you're talking
about where, like, a listenerwill hear an episode and feel a connection
with the person, and, youknow, it. I went on a podcast a few
years ago, and a woman heardit, and she reached out to me through
(13:12):
social media and was like,hey, I heard you. You on, you know,
this XYZ podcast. You soundreally cool, and I think we have
a lot in common, and I wouldlove to, like, meet you in person.
And I was just like, oh, myGod, this is crazy. Okay. You know,
and I. I met up with her, andshe's still my friend to this day.
We still get together and talkand text and exchange gifts for no
(13:33):
reason. And, you know, like,all because this woman heard me on
a podcast and was like, I likeher. I want to be her friend, and
took that leap and reached outto me, and, like, now I have this
lifelong friend, and our kidsplay together, and it's just this
amazing thing. So I love thatyour show is giving that opportunity
to others as well, becauseit's. It happens. It's very real.
(13:56):
You know, we're just humanshaving this experience trying to
do the same thing, right?We're just trying to live their lives
and try to live our bestlives. And sometimes we hide the
things that other people canactually relate to because we want
to be performative or we wantto be seen a certain way. And so
I'm so grateful that everyonethat's. That's agreed to be a guest
(14:17):
has been so open and justlike, here's. Here it is, you know,
and if this can help oneperson, we all win. You know, humanity
wins in a sense, because ifthat one person is now feeling less
alone leading a better life,whatever it may be, I consider that
a win. Did you hear fromanyone that, like, just didn't know
your backstory and, like, is acurrent friend of yours? And they
(14:39):
were like, I did not know. Ican't imagine what your life would
have been like had you notdone that.
You know, I'm. I'm a very openperson. And so there are not very
many people who at least likethe people who I interact with regularly
who don't know, you know, ifnot all of most of my story, because
(15:00):
I'm a habitual oversharer, youknow, and I'm like, this is who I
am. Good, bad, you know, andin between. And, you know, I. So
there aren't a lot of peoplewho would have listened to that episode
that I'm already close withwho wouldn't have known at least
the majority of the situation.So, yeah, that wasn't. That wasn't
(15:22):
necessarily experience for me.
I've had a few people, andthis is probably not true of your
story, but I've had a fewpeople who have shared their story,
and then they got somesurprising feedback from people in
which it was like, not good,or. Or that's not how it happened,
or that's not how I saw ithappen. Did you have any of those?
(15:44):
It sounds like probably not.
Fortunately, no. Granted, youknow, the people that I think would
have given feedback like, thatwould have been the people who tormented
me in school, and I don'tassociate with them or with people
who associate with them. Youknow, like, I've very thoroughly
moved away from any. Anycircles where those types of people
(16:06):
linger. So I don't think thatthe episode would have gone out to
anyone who would hold thatmindset good. But, yeah, no, that's.
You know, there's always.Especially if there's a situation
where somebody feels they maybe being attacked or maybe they're
being thrown into a bad lightin the sense in, you know, in a situation
with me where I'm talkingabout bullies, it's like, even if
(16:29):
I don't say them by name, ifthey know that they're the person
I'm referring to, theirdefenses are going to go up, their
hackles are going to raise,and of course they're going to come
back and be like, grumble,grumble. That's not what happened.
How dare you and it's like,well, this is a you problem. You
know. And so fortunately, no,that was not anything that I had
to deal with.
Yours was a heartwarming storyfor me. So it, you know, it was interesting
(16:53):
for me. I shared my personalstory on an episode and what it led
to was, you know, lots ofpeople reached out and they didn't,
you know, I'm an oversharer aswell, so most people I knew know
that story. But I got to havea really great conversation with
my dad because, you know, welive the same experience but in totally
(17:15):
different ways because he wasin his 30s, I was 8, and you know,
in the way he saw things. Soit was really interesting to have
a conversation about it andyou know, the unnecessary apologies
that came from him saying, youknow, I didn't do that on purpose
or you know, like, whatever itmay have been. And it was like, well,
no, like you said, it's, youknow, it's just like that was a hundred
(17:37):
years ago and you did the bestyou could with what you knew. Right.
And so, but it led to such agreat conversation for me. So it
was just so valuable one,sharing my story, but then also having
my dad hear it in that wayinstead of like a conversation to
process it. And then we wereable to have that conversation. So
I was blessed in, in thatsense, you know, like, that's a win
(17:58):
for me if, if nothing else,that we get to have that conversation.
As a podcast listener, what doyou, what are you typically drawn
towards? Like what stories doyou like to. If you listen to non
fiction or interview showslike this one, you know.
When, when I listen to anykind of nonfiction, like my big ones
are Dax Shepard's ArmchairExpert. I love that podcast. There's,
(18:22):
I can't even remember the nameof it. There's a podcast with Will
Arnett and Sean Hayes and Ican't remember the name, but my husband
and I listen to that podcast.I like podcasts that, similar to
yours, give you kind of thisinsight into people and information
(18:44):
and situations that you maynot have been privy to before. That's
really fun. Like things thatare revealing and that are. But also
like I'm not even just likesuper heavy stuff, but just like
light hearted. It can still berevealing and it can still be like
illuminating. And so those arelike the interview style nonfictions
that I enjoy. And then ofcourse, you know, stuff like the
(19:06):
Office Ladies and you know, myvarious entertainment where again
you're getting these detailsand facts and figures that you didn't
know before, but it'ssomething that, you know, you love
and now you get to learn and,you know, have all of this new stuff
in, these new details berevealed to you. And so that's really
(19:26):
fun for me as well. So there'skind of an underlying similarity
to all the podcasts that Ilisten to, but for the most part,
I like more light fun, butstill, like, revealing and informative.
Well, life is tough enoughsometimes, right? We wanna, we wanna
go to the lightness. Andspeaking of lightness and the armchair
Expert. Is that what it's called?
(19:47):
Armchair Expert? Yeah.
Yeah. So on social media, Ifollow Kristen Bell, and when she
did her 2022 wrap up, armchairexpert was number two on her list,
of course. And she posted andshe was like, bad wife.
Yeah, that's all right. Hey,we are gonna live our truth, right?
It was. I, I love KristenBell, but I'll listen to anything
(20:09):
she does.
Absolutely.
My last question is reallyjust. I like to talk to former guests
that have come on, sharedtheir story, done kind of the whole
process. If there's someonethat's maybe like, they want to share
their story, but they're alittle hesitant, is there something
that you could share with themabout the value of sharing your story?
I know you're an oversharerlike me, so is there any, any advice
(20:31):
that you could give someonethat's just like, I don't want everyone
to know, but I really do thinkI should share it?
You know, there's. There'smultiple things and multiple reasons
why I think being open andhonest and sharing is important.
You know, the first, which Itouched on, getting it out of your
(20:51):
head and out of your mouthlightens your load a little bit.
It really does. It doesn'ttake away the thoughts or the situations
or the experience, but. But itputs it out there so that you're
not just harboring it byyourself. There's a lot to be said
for speaking things out loud.And even if you just speak them out
loud alone in your room tostart, you're speaking them out loud,
(21:13):
and that's helping. But thenwhen it comes to, you know, speaking
your story to others, itdoesn't matter who you are, what
your situation is, everyonecan relate to everyone in some way.
So while somebody may begiving a super heavy, traumatic story
(21:35):
about, like, a very traumaticlife that they've lived, everyone
in some way will likely takesomething from that that they relate
to, whether it be a thought, afeeling like, or a physical experience,
like, there is some nuggetthat, that Your story will relate
(21:59):
for other people, if thatmakes sense. Like, so knowing that
by speaking your story andputting it out there, there's going
to be people who, in some,whether it's a minute way or a massive
way, there are gonna be peoplewho relate and who hear you and who
understand what you're sayingor what you're feeling. And that,
(22:20):
again, you're not alone. Itgives you a little bit more community.
It gives you that little bitof a boost of support and of love,
even if it's from strangers.So, you know, sharing and putting
your stories out there andspeaking what's on your mind can
help you not feel like you'rethe only person dealing with it or
(22:43):
who they can guide you to,other people who understand or maybe
who have felt similar ways butfor different reasons. So, you know,
there's a lot of positives andgood reasons to take that leap and
do that scary thing and saythose. Say the thing that you need
to say. And even if you startat home by yourself, speaking out
(23:03):
into the void of your room,that's how you start. And then you're
saying it on a podcast with,you know, hundreds or thousands or
even more listeners, and thenyou know that there's going to be
people out there who maybethey don't understand and they're
just hearing you, but thenthere's going to be people out there
who understand on some levelwhat you're saying. And you have
community.
(23:23):
You know, it's interesting tothat point. I've. You know, I've
put out a lot of episodes now,and I'll hear from people that say,
you know, I listened to thisepisode and this particular part
really moved me. And in mybrain, you know, like, you, you.
When I put out show notes andI put out titles and whatnot, there's
(23:44):
a theme, right? There'ssomething that, like, this is the
pivotal moment that we'rereally talking about. And these people
come by and they're like, thispart over here, this one, like, way
in the obscure background. Andyou're like, I can't believe that's
the part. You know, like, ofall the things. So you're right.
You never know when someone.What someone's going through at the
moment that they're listeningto, because, like, that can change
(24:07):
something as well. So you're100% right that your story, whoever's
story, can affect pretty mucheveryone in some. In some way, because,
again, we're all humans tryingto do the same damn thing.
Yeah. And it doesn't matter ifit's your joys, if it's your trauma,
if it's your feelings andemotions. Everyone can relate on
(24:30):
some level to something thatyou have to say. So why not share
that and feel that?
And I think there's somethingto be said too, of, like, maybe the
people that are sharing thesemore traumatic stories, knowing that
other people are listening andin general, humans are rooting for
each other to succeed, to comeout. And if you're sharing a story
(24:54):
and you're maybe still insomething, maybe there's someone
that's going to reach out andactually share their story to help
you. Right. And, and so itcreates that community, like you
said. So, speaking ofcommunity, I just appreciate that
you one trusted me to put yourstory on, on the Life Shift podcast,
that you came back for this.I. I appreciate your friendship.
(25:17):
I know we haven't seen eachother in 400 or so years, but I just
appreciate you being a part of this.
Absolutely. Happy to be here.
Well, for those of youlistening, we will have another bonus
episode in a few weeks. And,and thank you to Chantal for sharing
the reaction to sharing yourstory on this bonus episode.
(25:38):
Thank you.
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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