April 13, 2025 • 24 mins
We’re diving into some bonus episodes today, featuring chats with past guests from the Life Shift podcast. This time around, we're catching up with Adrienne, who shared her powerful story about overcoming PTSD using unconventional methods.
The Life Shift Rewind
I’m excited to share bonus episodes from Patreon, where I revisited past guests to discuss what has changed and the value of sharing their stories. Since I currently only have the lower tiers available, I wanted to make these conversations accessible to the public feed. If you'd like to support the show directly, please consider joining the $3 or $5 tier on Patreon – www.patreon.com/thelifeshiftpodcast.
We dig into how sharing her journey helped her conquer the stigma around mental health and find her voice in a public space. It’s all about the importance of storytelling and how it can spark connection and healing, not just for the storyteller but for listeners too. Plus, we explore how personal research and intuition can lead to effective healing methods, showing that the path to recovery is as unique as each person’s journey.
Takeaways:
- Creating a supportive community around mental health can help individuals feel less alone in their struggles.
- Sharing personal stories about mental illness can reduce stigma and promote healing for both the speaker and listeners.
- Small daily commitments to ourselves can dramatically improve our self-trust and overall mental well-being.
- Listening to past episodes can provide insights and encourage conversations about vulnerable topics like PTSD.
- Engaging in candid discussions about personal experiences fosters connection and support among listeners in similar situations.
Resources: To listen in on more conversations about pivotal moments that changed lives forever, subscribe to "The Life Shift" on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate the show 5 stars and leave a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, my friends.
I just wanted to drop somespecial bonus episodes into the feed
that you probably have notheard unless you are a part or an
early part of the Patreon forthe Life Shift podcast.
If you don't know, I do have a Patreon.
It currently only has two tiers.
One is a three dollar a monthtier just to support what I'm doing,
(00:22):
helps cover production costs.
And then there's a five dollartier which will get you episodes
early and just the, I guess,warm fuzzies for helping me out with
the Life Shift podcast.
But I used to have other tierswhere people were so generous and
were offering additional moneyeach month to get bonus episodes
and possible winnings of Tshirts and all sorts of things.
(00:46):
And then I realized a couplemonths ago that I wasn't able to
deliver what I wanted to,especially for those of you that
were giving me the extra money.
So right now we're just kindof doing the early episodes.
You'll always get those.
So if you want to supportsupport the Life Shift Podcast, please
jump over to patreon.comthelifeshiftpodcast and you can find
that information there.
(01:06):
But I come on here because Iwant to share a series of these bonus
episodes that I did early onin the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests.
So I would go back and wewould have a conversation about the
experience of sharing theirstory on the Life Shift podcast.
(01:28):
Catch up on anything.
And I think these are superimportant and I know most of them
did not see the light of dayfrom outside of the Patreon.
So I'm going to be droppingthese episodes.
Whatever you're listening tonow is another episode.
So I'm gonna use the sameintro for all of them.
But here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
(01:49):
the Life Shift podcast.
And if you like this, let meknow because I'm thinking of bringing
some of this back and talkingto previous guests as I go into year
four.
So, so enjoy this bonusepisode that was once released on
the Patreon feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooly and this isthe Life Shift candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal moments thathave changed lives forever.
Today's bonus episode guest is Adrian.
Hey, Adrian.
Hey, Matt.
Adrian was episode four.
So it's been a while since weheard you and I appreciate that you
(02:35):
were one of a handful ofpeople that was willing to get on
record before this was reallyeven a thing.
It was still kind of part of aschool project, and I hadn't even
launched yet.
So I appreciate you trustingme with that portion of this journey.
Yeah, I'm happy to help outfor this episode.
I think it would be helpful tojust kind of recap if you could give
(02:58):
a short recap of what yourstory was and what you shared in
your episode.
Sure.
My episode was about curingmyself of PTSD with mushrooms.
I guess that's the tldr.
That was an interestingepisode for me because it was so
foreign to me.
And what was so cool or whatmy opinion.
(03:18):
What was so cool about the.
The way you shared your storyand what you shared in your story
is how much I felt like theuniverse or fate kind of intervened
in.
In that journey to help youget to where you are now.
And I don't know if you see itthat way, but the way that you told
the story, it was very muchlike, wow, she put it in the universe.
(03:41):
And then the universe waslike, here you go.
Yeah, I think that way, too.
It really did feel like therewas almost like a destiny invol.
I, you know, I really wantedsomething, and I just ended up, like,
crying and screaming to theuniverse to give it to me.
And it showed up.
(04:02):
You know, it wasn't evensomething that I had to work for.
It was just, like, I wantedit, and I didn't know how I was going
to get it, and it felt likethe right thing to do, and then it
just showed up.
So there was a lot ofintuition and a lot of serendipity,
I think, in that journey.
Yeah, from, you know, from anoutsider's perspective, it was just
(04:25):
so interesting to hear that story.
And I know before we recorded,there was a little bit of apprehension
about sharing it a little bitin, like, a public space or sharing
your name or any of those pieces.
How did you feel after wefinished the recording?
Like, after we pressed thestop button?
Was there anything that youfelt sharing that out loud?
(04:46):
I was actually a little bitnervous going into that interview
for all of those reasons.
I think it's because I hadstigmatized that story for myself,
and I was afraid of thejudgment that I might get because
it's a little controversialand it's not legal in all states.
It's legal in some places, butnot in Florida.
And I felt a little better atthe end having, like, talked about
(05:11):
it and realizing how much goodit had done for me.
And I think it made me feel alittle bit safe for.
In being able to tell the story.
I heard from a lot of People,when you opened your podcast app
that day that it launched andyou listened to it, did you have
any other feelings on top of,you know, what you felt after you
(05:31):
just said it the first time?
But hearing it is a different.
A different ball game for me.
I feel like these stories hitdifferently when you actually hear
them versus when you talkabout them.
It totally does.
It felt like I was listeningto somebody else's story.
And I think the mostinteresting thing for me is that
I don't always like to listento recordings of myself because I
(05:52):
don't really like the way thatmy voice sounds when I listen to
recordings.
So I listened to this, and Iwas like, wow, that sounds really
smooth.
But I think more than that,the tone of the interview just.
It flowed very smoothly.
And I think it's a testamentto how far I've come and the progress
(06:13):
that I've made, because Icould audibly hear how much calmer
I was when I did thatinterview from the place that I used
to be.
I used to get terrible stagefright, but I had terrible anxiety
about everything in my life.
And it was really difficultfor me to just sit down and have
(06:34):
comfortable conversations withpeople because I was just so amped
up and wired all the time fromall of my stress and my trauma.
And so going back andlistening to that interview reiterated
to me how much I've changed asa person.
Like to hear it flow out so easily.
I thought it sounded good.
It sounded like this wasn'tthe first time you shared the story.
(06:56):
So I'm glad that it cameacross that way for you, too.
After, like, listening andsharing it.
Did.
Did it cause you to thinkabout anything differently than you
had before because you're kindof a little bit more removed from
that experience?
A little bit.
I think the way that myperception shifted was that I felt
(07:19):
more comfortable talking about it.
So it wasn't something that Ihad shared often or really with many
people in my life at all.
It was something that I keptvery closely guarded because there
was a certain element of shamethat I had about sharing it.
And I was also afraid of thejudgment from other people telling
this story.
But for me, it wasn'tnecessarily about the method that
(07:41):
I used to heal myself being controversial.
For me, I think I had a lot ofstigma and shame about the fact that
my mental health was not in agood place.
So being the person that I am,it was really hard for me to talk
about where I used to be andhow much I struggled with life.
Nobody likes to talk about that.
(08:02):
It's a very uncomfortable thing.
I think it takes a lot ofcourage for people to step up and
talk about mental illnessbecause for anybody who's experienced
ptsd, there are a lot ofemotional mood swings, there are
a lot of emotional flashbacks.
There are, you know, it'sconstant fight or flight.
So there's a lot of anxiety.
(08:22):
You can have bouts of depression.
It's just.
It's very disorganizedinternally with the emotional state.
And I had judged myself forhaving been in that state, even though
it wasn't my fault.
All of the things that led tome being that way, my traumatic experiences
(08:43):
were not my fault, but I stillhad shame about allowing myself to
be altered in that way.
So I think that the perceptionthat really changed for me was that
I felt a lot more comfortabletalking about those experiences in
my life when I realized thatother people were finding value and
connecting to them.
(09:04):
For sure, I.
I would say that a lot ofpeople feel that stigma of I'm not
100 all the time, right?
Or I've.
I have some kind of mentalillness that I need to challenge.
I mean, I would.
Or to find a way out of or towork with and find a nice balance.
But I heard from a lot ofpeople about your episode in such
(09:28):
positive ways and peoplereaching out and saying, you know
what?
I admire one, what you justsaid that, you know, her sharing
that really hard part of herlife and how it got so very dark.
And they admired your tenacityin research and what you needed to
(09:49):
do that you felt best wouldhelp you or at least was.
It was a.
Something you were hopingwould help you.
And so they admired multipleaspects of your story.
Did you hear from anyone,feedback wise, that you didn't expect
to, or did people you expectedto not even reach out to you?
(10:09):
I did hear from some people.
Some of them I was reallysurprised about.
So I.
The kind of upbringing that Ihave was.
It was very, I would say,conservative and religious.
So some of the people fromthat part of my life had commented
on the Facebook post where Ishared the link and said, we're really
(10:34):
glad you found something thatworked for you.
I'm not sure if they listenedto the whole thing and they were
legitimately happy for me orif they just saw that I had recovered
from PTSD and was feeling better.
But nobody made any kind ofjudgmental, you know, comments or
said anything that was.
That was problematic.
And I had a lot of friendsthat did take the time to listen
(10:55):
to it.
And I was, I was reallysurprised because, you know, it's
kind of a long episode, andit's quite a time commitment for
somebody to sit down and say,I'm gonna listen to this really long
interview that you did andthat you posted.
Like, you know, the gift oftime, I think, is the greatest gift
that you can give anybody.
To sit down and listen to mystory for that long and then tell
(11:18):
me that they were alsostruggling and that they were happy
that I shared my story.
Like, you know, I can't.
It made me feel really good in.
A way that's difficult todescribe, I would imagine.
And I hope that a lot of thepeople that have shared their story
(11:38):
on the life shift are hearingsimilar things from people around
them.
I know I've heard from peoplethat, like, so and so reach out to
me, and I never expected thatthey would listen to my episode.
I really like what you saidis, you know, that time is, like,
the best gift that you cangive somebody.
And the fact that, you know,These episodes are 45 minutes to
(12:00):
an hour long, and people aresharing sometimes really, really
tough moments.
But I think what that does isit just.
It shows that we're all justhuman, and we all have these different
battles or whatever it may be,and we have similar ways out of it,
whether that's emotional orkind of the journey that you took.
(12:22):
So I think that's.
I think that's great that.
That people were reaching outto you.
I bet people were reaching outto you for advice as well.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I can't tellanybody how to do something that's
not legal, nor can Ispecifically advise them to do it,
but I can tell them to look atresearch papers that I looked at
(12:43):
and to make that decision for themselves.
I think that after thisexperience, I believe that we all
intuitively know how to healourselves and that when the right
thing comes along, yourecognize it.
And for me, it was justsomething in my brain needed to be
rewired.
And, you know, the plantsfacilitated doing that for me.
(13:06):
And so for.
And that's not the only way.
You know, that was thebeginning of my path.
Therapy wasn't effective forme to that point because I kept having
all of these emotional rollercoasters, and I just.
I didn't have a good baseline.
But once I had.
You know, once I had taken themushrooms for several months, I just
(13:28):
noticed my baseline gettingbetter and better.
And all of the things that Iwas doing in talk therapy and, you
know, trying to work on myselfwere much more effective because
now my body was resonatingwith the things that I was trying
to tell my brain.
So, you know, that was part of.
That was a piece of the puzzlefor me.
(13:49):
Might not be the same piecethat everybody else needs, but that's
what worked for me.
Right.
Well, I think part of yourstory, too, and I highlighted this
when we were talking, is your.
Your approach to changes inyour life and the way that you have
(14:11):
a strong research side of youto make sure that what you're doing
makes sense, that.
That it works for you.
And I think that's anotherlayer that people can take away.
Not necessarily your solution,not necessarily your experience,
but that we should be takingcare of ourselves.
And we need to find what worksfor us and do that research.
(14:33):
Not just, you know, some kindof fad thing or some.
Something that some strangertold you to do, but rather research
it, figure out what works foryou, and then move forward with it.
And in your case, it helpedyou dramatically to change your life.
I completely agree.
Besides that, I've also beenbiohacking myself since about 2019
(14:57):
because I used to have a lotof chronic health problems.
And part of that is reallygetting intimately familiar with
my own biochemistry, withwhat's in my genetics.
So I understand what mypredispositions are.
I understand how the thingsthat show up in my diagnostic tests,
blood work, other tissuesamples, how that relates to my genetics.
(15:17):
And so I'm very meticulousabout the things that I put into
my body so I can think aboutwhat works and what doesn't work
and whether or not it's reallyhelping me.
So anytime that I take asupplement, it's not because somebody
says it might work.
It's because.
Because I've come up with ahypothesis and I've had my levels
tested, and I'm trying to getthem ideal.
(15:39):
Or it's because I see that I'msusceptible to something that is
manifesting in a test, andthis is what science says can help
to adjust it epigenetically.
So I think that's important toconsider, too, because that affects
a lot of mood disorders as well.
Like there are geneticimbalances, there are nutritional
(16:00):
imbalances that can lead to usfeeling this way, and that can make
us more likely to have PTSD orto make it difficult to recover from
it.
So understanding all of thesethings about yourself, I think is
really important on.
The healing path, and it tiesdirectly to your comment about time
(16:22):
being a gift, and time can bea gift to yourself.
Right.
And putting that time andeffort into that research that you
did got you to where you are now.
And it continues to.
I know you go through yourwaves of new research and things
you want to try and thingsthat you.
That you might want toaddress, but it speaks to your character.
And I think someone hearingyour story hears that and goes, okay,
(16:45):
maybe I could do some of myown, put some time into myself.
So I think that's another wayyou inspired people through your
story.
Thanks.
One of the things that I thinkhas been instrumental in eliciting
change in my life since thattime is a practice that I got from
a book called how to do theWork by Nicole Lapera.
(17:08):
And she talks about why peoplehave difficulty making positive changes
in their lives.
And it's because they're notgood at keeping promises to themselves.
And so, like, how many timesdo we tell ourselves, I'm going to
make this change in my life,I'm going to be better, I'm going
to change my diet, I'm goingto start exercising, and we don't
stick to it.
And so we get into thispattern of breaking promises to ourselves
(17:32):
or understanding that we don'tkeep promises.
And so we think of ourselvesas not trustworthy.
And so one of the exercisesthat she talks about in the book
is picking a small dailypromise that you can make to yourself
and keeping it, no matter howmuch resistance you feel to it, and
continue to do it and watchyour life change.
(17:53):
And this is a fascinatingexperiment because so I picked.
I was gonna wash my face everynight before I went to bed.
Just like, you know, hotwashcloth, way to relax and just
kind of like, get all of thestress, you know, let it melt away.
And so the first couple ofdays, I was like, yeah, treat yourself.
And then after that, I waslike, why am I doing this?
(18:14):
Right?
Some of those discomfortingthoughts started to sneak in, and
I realized it's like thisunconscious pattern of I don't keep
promises to myself.
And I kept doing it.
And I would try to findexcuses for, like, I don't feel like
doing this.
No, I'm going to wash my face.
And I kept doing it, and themore and more I did it, the less
uncomfortable I got with it.
(18:35):
And I've been doing this for ayear and a half now, and I have to
say it, like, washing my faceis one of my favorite things ever
now.
But there was a period of timewhere I was like, no, this is silly,
or, oh, I don't have a cleanwashcloth, or whatever.
You just come up with thestupidest reasons not to do it.
And I Started to notice thatas I was doing this, it became easier
(18:57):
for me to follow through inother areas of my life.
And I was like, well, let mejust make sure this isn't a fluke,
because you know how I like todo experiments, right?
So I told some of my friendsabout this book, and they said, will
you lead us in a book club andwalk us through the book, since you've
already read it?
And I said, great.
So he told them about thisexercise before we even started the
book.
(19:17):
And I said, before we get tothat chapter in the book, I want
you to pick something that's asmall daily promise that you can
keep to yourself.
And I said, you're gonnaresist it and you're not gonna like
it.
And they didn't believe me.
But I started hearing all oftheir stories.
Like, one of my friends saidshe was gonna start making her bed
every day.
And as time went by, she wasjust like.
(19:37):
She's like, oh, this.
She started to feel like itwas silly or make excuses for why
she hadn't made her bed.
And, you know, it's like,well, I'm just going to sleep in
it again anyway.
But that's not the point.
The point is that werationalize homeostasis.
And so if our homeostasis, ourfamiliar, comfortable place, is not
(19:58):
keeping promises to ourselves,if we can't do it on a small scale,
how will we do it on a big scale?
This has been an integral partof my personal evolution, too.
Yeah, we could all take a pagefrom your book or that book that
you recommended.
I know you've.
I know your life is.
It's very busy these days with.
With lots of work and sideprojects and home projects and everything.
(20:23):
And I know that you've havelistened to some of the episodes
of the life shift.
Were there any that.
That stuck out to you or anythat you could relate to in their
stories?
Yeah, I think I resonate alittle bit with everybody that talks
about chronic illness, becausethat's something that I've dealt
with.
And so I understand howdifficult it is and how, you know,
(20:47):
how exhausting it can feeljust day after day fighting with
your own body or feeling likeyou want a new body, or when you
have a good day, thinkingabout how long it's going to last
before the next.
Before it's over, and then thebad days come back.
So, you know, there's a littlepart of me that identifies with all
(21:10):
of those stories about chronicillness very strongly.
Well, I appreciate that youone pushed through the kind of nervousness
of sharing your particularstory and the pieces that came along
with that working in corporateAmerica and other, you know, just
(21:33):
worried about sharing yourmental illness past and those elements
of your life.
I appreciate that.
If someone is listening andthey're kind of thinking about, they
want to share their storyeither on the podcast or just in
general with other people.
Is there anything that youcould share with others about being
a part of either this podcastand this community that I'm trying
(21:55):
to build of people, or just ingeneral to people that are afraid
to share their story?
Wow, that's a really great question.
I think that sharing storiesis important because, you know, you
might feel one way about yourstory, but you don't realize how
many other people feel thatway about a similar story in their
life and how much it can help them.
(22:17):
Brene Brown talks a lot aboutvulnerability and how we eliminate
shame when, you know, when weshine light on the thing that we
feel shameful about and whenwe talk about it.
And I think for me, I'veremoved a lot of that shame I had
about my struggles with mentalillness by talking about it with
(22:38):
other people.
And as a result, other peoplehave said, wow, I've struggled with
this, too.
Let's talk about some of thethings that have worked well for
us, like how do you, you know,how do you manage your life?
How did you get to a healthy place?
And I was like, wow, thisfeels really good.
Instead of feeling shame aboutmy past, I can feel hopeful about
my future and, you know, warmand fuzzy about my present.
(23:02):
Well, I appreciate you justcoming, first of all, just being
on the show, but then comingback and then sharing a little bit
more and about the experienceand diving a little bit deeper.
And I appreciate you being myfriend and having our journeys together.
So thank you, my friend.
I appreciate you, too.
I really enjoy ourconversations and I, I love the fact
(23:26):
that you, like, you alwayscheck in on me and ask me how my
day was if I'm like, if I'msuper busy.
And, you know, I think youworry about me a little bit.
It's a little part of my nature.
But I appreciate you and thoseof you listening to these episodes.
We're going to be catching upwith a bunch of former Life Shift
guests and where they are andwhat they felt about their story.
(23:48):
So hopefully you're enjoyingthis and we will see you on the Patreon
feed.
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
Hello, my friends.
I just wanted to drop somespecial bonus episodes into the feed
that you probably have notheard unless you are a part or an
early part of the Patreon forthe Life Shift podcast.
If you don't know, I do have a Patreon.
It currently only has two tiers.
One is a three dollar a monthtier just to support what I'm doing,
(00:22):
helps cover production costs.
And then there's a five dollartier which will get you episodes
early and just the, I guess,warm fuzzies for helping me out with
the Life Shift podcast.
But I used to have other tierswhere people were so generous and
were offering additional moneyeach month to get bonus episodes
and possible winnings of Tshirts and all sorts of things.
(00:46):
And then I realized a couplemonths ago that I wasn't able to
deliver what I wanted to,especially for those of you that
were giving me the extra money.
So right now we're just kindof doing the early episodes.
You'll always get those.
So if you want to supportsupport the Life Shift Podcast, please
jump over to patreon.comthelifeshiftpodcast and you can find
that information there.
(01:06):
But I come on here because Iwant to share a series of these bonus
episodes that I did early onin the Patreon journey.
There are like 20 plusepisodes in which I had bonus recordings
with previous guests.
So I would go back and wewould have a conversation about the
experience of sharing theirstory on the Life Shift podcast.
(01:28):
Catch up on anything.
And I think these are superimportant and I know most of them
did not see the light of dayfrom outside of the Patreon.
So I'm going to be droppingthese episodes.
Whatever you're listening tonow is another episode.
So I'm gonna use the sameintro for all of them.
But here is one of the bonusepisodes with a former guest from
(01:49):
the Life Shift podcast.
And if you like this, let meknow because I'm thinking of bringing
some of this back and talkingto previous guests as I go into year
four.
So, so enjoy this bonusepisode that was once released on
the Patreon feed.
I'm Matt Gilhooly and this isthe Life Shift candid conversations
(02:10):
about the pivotal moments thathave changed lives forever.
Today's bonus episode guest is Adrian.
Hey, Adrian.
Hey, Matt.
Adrian was episode four.
So it's been a while since weheard you and I appreciate that you
(02:35):
were one of a handful ofpeople that was willing to get on
record before this was reallyeven a thing.
It was still kind of part of aschool project, and I hadn't even
launched yet.
So I appreciate you trustingme with that portion of this journey.
Yeah, I'm happy to help outfor this episode.
I think it would be helpful tojust kind of recap if you could give
(02:58):
a short recap of what yourstory was and what you shared in
your episode.
Sure.
My episode was about curingmyself of PTSD with mushrooms.
I guess that's the tldr.
That was an interestingepisode for me because it was so
foreign to me.
And what was so cool or whatmy opinion.
(03:18):
What was so cool about the.
The way you shared your storyand what you shared in your story
is how much I felt like theuniverse or fate kind of intervened
in.
In that journey to help youget to where you are now.
And I don't know if you see itthat way, but the way that you told
the story, it was very muchlike, wow, she put it in the universe.
(03:41):
And then the universe waslike, here you go.
Yeah, I think that way, too.
It really did feel like therewas almost like a destiny invol.
I, you know, I really wantedsomething, and I just ended up, like,
crying and screaming to theuniverse to give it to me.
And it showed up.
(04:02):
You know, it wasn't evensomething that I had to work for.
It was just, like, I wantedit, and I didn't know how I was going
to get it, and it felt likethe right thing to do, and then it
just showed up.
So there was a lot ofintuition and a lot of serendipity,
I think, in that journey.
Yeah, from, you know, from anoutsider's perspective, it was just
(04:25):
so interesting to hear that story.
And I know before we recorded,there was a little bit of apprehension
about sharing it a little bitin, like, a public space or sharing
your name or any of those pieces.
How did you feel after wefinished the recording?
Like, after we pressed thestop button?
Was there anything that youfelt sharing that out loud?
(04:46):
I was actually a little bitnervous going into that interview
for all of those reasons.
I think it's because I hadstigmatized that story for myself,
and I was afraid of thejudgment that I might get because
it's a little controversialand it's not legal in all states.
It's legal in some places, butnot in Florida.
And I felt a little better atthe end having, like, talked about
(05:11):
it and realizing how much goodit had done for me.
And I think it made me feel alittle bit safe for.
In being able to tell the story.
I heard from a lot of People,when you opened your podcast app
that day that it launched andyou listened to it, did you have
any other feelings on top of,you know, what you felt after you
(05:31):
just said it the first time?
But hearing it is a different.
A different ball game for me.
I feel like these stories hitdifferently when you actually hear
them versus when you talkabout them.
It totally does.
It felt like I was listeningto somebody else's story.
And I think the mostinteresting thing for me is that
I don't always like to listento recordings of myself because I
(05:52):
don't really like the way thatmy voice sounds when I listen to
recordings.
So I listened to this, and Iwas like, wow, that sounds really
smooth.
But I think more than that,the tone of the interview just.
It flowed very smoothly.
And I think it's a testamentto how far I've come and the progress
(06:13):
that I've made, because Icould audibly hear how much calmer
I was when I did thatinterview from the place that I used
to be.
I used to get terrible stagefright, but I had terrible anxiety
about everything in my life.
And it was really difficultfor me to just sit down and have
(06:34):
comfortable conversations withpeople because I was just so amped
up and wired all the time fromall of my stress and my trauma.
And so going back andlistening to that interview reiterated
to me how much I've changed asa person.
Like to hear it flow out so easily.
I thought it sounded good.
It sounded like this wasn'tthe first time you shared the story.
(06:56):
So I'm glad that it cameacross that way for you, too.
After, like, listening andsharing it.
Did.
Did it cause you to thinkabout anything differently than you
had before because you're kindof a little bit more removed from
that experience?
A little bit.
I think the way that myperception shifted was that I felt
(07:19):
more comfortable talking about it.
So it wasn't something that Ihad shared often or really with many
people in my life at all.
It was something that I keptvery closely guarded because there
was a certain element of shamethat I had about sharing it.
And I was also afraid of thejudgment from other people telling
this story.
But for me, it wasn'tnecessarily about the method that
(07:41):
I used to heal myself being controversial.
For me, I think I had a lot ofstigma and shame about the fact that
my mental health was not in agood place.
So being the person that I am,it was really hard for me to talk
about where I used to be andhow much I struggled with life.
Nobody likes to talk about that.
(08:02):
It's a very uncomfortable thing.
I think it takes a lot ofcourage for people to step up and
talk about mental illnessbecause for anybody who's experienced
ptsd, there are a lot ofemotional mood swings, there are
a lot of emotional flashbacks.
There are, you know, it'sconstant fight or flight.
So there's a lot of anxiety.
(08:22):
You can have bouts of depression.
It's just.
It's very disorganizedinternally with the emotional state.
And I had judged myself forhaving been in that state, even though
it wasn't my fault.
All of the things that led tome being that way, my traumatic experiences
(08:43):
were not my fault, but I stillhad shame about allowing myself to
be altered in that way.
So I think that the perceptionthat really changed for me was that
I felt a lot more comfortabletalking about those experiences in
my life when I realized thatother people were finding value and
connecting to them.
(09:04):
For sure, I.
I would say that a lot ofpeople feel that stigma of I'm not
100 all the time, right?
Or I've.
I have some kind of mentalillness that I need to challenge.
I mean, I would.
Or to find a way out of or towork with and find a nice balance.
But I heard from a lot ofpeople about your episode in such
(09:28):
positive ways and peoplereaching out and saying, you know
what?
I admire one, what you justsaid that, you know, her sharing
that really hard part of herlife and how it got so very dark.
And they admired your tenacityin research and what you needed to
(09:49):
do that you felt best wouldhelp you or at least was.
It was a.
Something you were hopingwould help you.
And so they admired multipleaspects of your story.
Did you hear from anyone,feedback wise, that you didn't expect
to, or did people you expectedto not even reach out to you?
(10:09):
I did hear from some people.
Some of them I was reallysurprised about.
So I.
The kind of upbringing that Ihave was.
It was very, I would say,conservative and religious.
So some of the people fromthat part of my life had commented
on the Facebook post where Ishared the link and said, we're really
(10:34):
glad you found something thatworked for you.
I'm not sure if they listenedto the whole thing and they were
legitimately happy for me orif they just saw that I had recovered
from PTSD and was feeling better.
But nobody made any kind ofjudgmental, you know, comments or
said anything that was.
That was problematic.
And I had a lot of friendsthat did take the time to listen
(10:55):
to it.
And I was, I was reallysurprised because, you know, it's
kind of a long episode, andit's quite a time commitment for
somebody to sit down and say,I'm gonna listen to this really long
interview that you did andthat you posted.
Like, you know, the gift oftime, I think, is the greatest gift
that you can give anybody.
To sit down and listen to mystory for that long and then tell
(11:18):
me that they were alsostruggling and that they were happy
that I shared my story.
Like, you know, I can't.
It made me feel really good in.
A way that's difficult todescribe, I would imagine.
And I hope that a lot of thepeople that have shared their story
(11:38):
on the life shift are hearingsimilar things from people around
them.
I know I've heard from peoplethat, like, so and so reach out to
me, and I never expected thatthey would listen to my episode.
I really like what you saidis, you know, that time is, like,
the best gift that you cangive somebody.
And the fact that, you know,These episodes are 45 minutes to
(12:00):
an hour long, and people aresharing sometimes really, really
tough moments.
But I think what that does isit just.
It shows that we're all justhuman, and we all have these different
battles or whatever it may be,and we have similar ways out of it,
whether that's emotional orkind of the journey that you took.
(12:22):
So I think that's.
I think that's great that.
That people were reaching outto you.
I bet people were reaching outto you for advice as well.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I can't tellanybody how to do something that's
not legal, nor can Ispecifically advise them to do it,
but I can tell them to look atresearch papers that I looked at
(12:43):
and to make that decision for themselves.
I think that after thisexperience, I believe that we all
intuitively know how to healourselves and that when the right
thing comes along, yourecognize it.
And for me, it was justsomething in my brain needed to be
rewired.
And, you know, the plantsfacilitated doing that for me.
(13:06):
And so for.
And that's not the only way.
You know, that was thebeginning of my path.
Therapy wasn't effective forme to that point because I kept having
all of these emotional rollercoasters, and I just.
I didn't have a good baseline.
But once I had.
You know, once I had taken themushrooms for several months, I just
(13:28):
noticed my baseline gettingbetter and better.
And all of the things that Iwas doing in talk therapy and, you
know, trying to work on myselfwere much more effective because
now my body was resonatingwith the things that I was trying
to tell my brain.
So, you know, that was part of.
That was a piece of the puzzlefor me.
(13:49):
Might not be the same piecethat everybody else needs, but that's
what worked for me.
Right.
Well, I think part of yourstory, too, and I highlighted this
when we were talking, is your.
Your approach to changes inyour life and the way that you have
(14:11):
a strong research side of youto make sure that what you're doing
makes sense, that.
That it works for you.
And I think that's anotherlayer that people can take away.
Not necessarily your solution,not necessarily your experience,
but that we should be takingcare of ourselves.
And we need to find what worksfor us and do that research.
(14:33):
Not just, you know, some kindof fad thing or some.
Something that some strangertold you to do, but rather research
it, figure out what works foryou, and then move forward with it.
And in your case, it helpedyou dramatically to change your life.
I completely agree.
Besides that, I've also beenbiohacking myself since about 2019
(14:57):
because I used to have a lotof chronic health problems.
And part of that is reallygetting intimately familiar with
my own biochemistry, withwhat's in my genetics.
So I understand what mypredispositions are.
I understand how the thingsthat show up in my diagnostic tests,
blood work, other tissuesamples, how that relates to my genetics.
(15:17):
And so I'm very meticulousabout the things that I put into
my body so I can think aboutwhat works and what doesn't work
and whether or not it's reallyhelping me.
So anytime that I take asupplement, it's not because somebody
says it might work.
It's because.
Because I've come up with ahypothesis and I've had my levels
tested, and I'm trying to getthem ideal.
(15:39):
Or it's because I see that I'msusceptible to something that is
manifesting in a test, andthis is what science says can help
to adjust it epigenetically.
So I think that's important toconsider, too, because that affects
a lot of mood disorders as well.
Like there are geneticimbalances, there are nutritional
(16:00):
imbalances that can lead to usfeeling this way, and that can make
us more likely to have PTSD orto make it difficult to recover from
it.
So understanding all of thesethings about yourself, I think is
really important on.
The healing path, and it tiesdirectly to your comment about time
(16:22):
being a gift, and time can bea gift to yourself.
Right.
And putting that time andeffort into that research that you
did got you to where you are now.
And it continues to.
I know you go through yourwaves of new research and things
you want to try and thingsthat you.
That you might want toaddress, but it speaks to your character.
And I think someone hearingyour story hears that and goes, okay,
(16:45):
maybe I could do some of myown, put some time into myself.
So I think that's another wayyou inspired people through your
story.
Thanks.
One of the things that I thinkhas been instrumental in eliciting
change in my life since thattime is a practice that I got from
a book called how to do theWork by Nicole Lapera.
(17:08):
And she talks about why peoplehave difficulty making positive changes
in their lives.
And it's because they're notgood at keeping promises to themselves.
And so, like, how many timesdo we tell ourselves, I'm going to
make this change in my life,I'm going to be better, I'm going
to change my diet, I'm goingto start exercising, and we don't
stick to it.
And so we get into thispattern of breaking promises to ourselves
(17:32):
or understanding that we don'tkeep promises.
And so we think of ourselvesas not trustworthy.
And so one of the exercisesthat she talks about in the book
is picking a small dailypromise that you can make to yourself
and keeping it, no matter howmuch resistance you feel to it, and
continue to do it and watchyour life change.
(17:53):
And this is a fascinatingexperiment because so I picked.
I was gonna wash my face everynight before I went to bed.
Just like, you know, hotwashcloth, way to relax and just
kind of like, get all of thestress, you know, let it melt away.
And so the first couple ofdays, I was like, yeah, treat yourself.
And then after that, I waslike, why am I doing this?
(18:14):
Right?
Some of those discomfortingthoughts started to sneak in, and
I realized it's like thisunconscious pattern of I don't keep
promises to myself.
And I kept doing it.
And I would try to findexcuses for, like, I don't feel like
doing this.
No, I'm going to wash my face.
And I kept doing it, and themore and more I did it, the less
uncomfortable I got with it.
(18:35):
And I've been doing this for ayear and a half now, and I have to
say it, like, washing my faceis one of my favorite things ever
now.
But there was a period of timewhere I was like, no, this is silly,
or, oh, I don't have a cleanwashcloth, or whatever.
You just come up with thestupidest reasons not to do it.
And I Started to notice thatas I was doing this, it became easier
(18:57):
for me to follow through inother areas of my life.
And I was like, well, let mejust make sure this isn't a fluke,
because you know how I like todo experiments, right?
So I told some of my friendsabout this book, and they said, will
you lead us in a book club andwalk us through the book, since you've
already read it?
And I said, great.
So he told them about thisexercise before we even started the
book.
(19:17):
And I said, before we get tothat chapter in the book, I want
you to pick something that's asmall daily promise that you can
keep to yourself.
And I said, you're gonnaresist it and you're not gonna like
it.
And they didn't believe me.
But I started hearing all oftheir stories.
Like, one of my friends saidshe was gonna start making her bed
every day.
And as time went by, she wasjust like.
(19:37):
She's like, oh, this.
She started to feel like itwas silly or make excuses for why
she hadn't made her bed.
And, you know, it's like,well, I'm just going to sleep in
it again anyway.
But that's not the point.
The point is that werationalize homeostasis.
And so if our homeostasis, ourfamiliar, comfortable place, is not
(19:58):
keeping promises to ourselves,if we can't do it on a small scale,
how will we do it on a big scale?
This has been an integral partof my personal evolution, too.
Yeah, we could all take a pagefrom your book or that book that
you recommended.
I know you've.
I know your life is.
It's very busy these days with.
With lots of work and sideprojects and home projects and everything.
(20:23):
And I know that you've havelistened to some of the episodes
of the life shift.
Were there any that.
That stuck out to you or anythat you could relate to in their
stories?
Yeah, I think I resonate alittle bit with everybody that talks
about chronic illness, becausethat's something that I've dealt
with.
And so I understand howdifficult it is and how, you know,
(20:47):
how exhausting it can feeljust day after day fighting with
your own body or feeling likeyou want a new body, or when you
have a good day, thinkingabout how long it's going to last
before the next.
Before it's over, and then thebad days come back.
So, you know, there's a littlepart of me that identifies with all
(21:10):
of those stories about chronicillness very strongly.
Well, I appreciate that youone pushed through the kind of nervousness
of sharing your particularstory and the pieces that came along
with that working in corporateAmerica and other, you know, just
(21:33):
worried about sharing yourmental illness past and those elements
of your life.
I appreciate that.
If someone is listening andthey're kind of thinking about, they
want to share their storyeither on the podcast or just in
general with other people.
Is there anything that youcould share with others about being
a part of either this podcastand this community that I'm trying
(21:55):
to build of people, or just ingeneral to people that are afraid
to share their story?
Wow, that's a really great question.
I think that sharing storiesis important because, you know, you
might feel one way about yourstory, but you don't realize how
many other people feel thatway about a similar story in their
life and how much it can help them.
(22:17):
Brene Brown talks a lot aboutvulnerability and how we eliminate
shame when, you know, when weshine light on the thing that we
feel shameful about and whenwe talk about it.
And I think for me, I'veremoved a lot of that shame I had
about my struggles with mentalillness by talking about it with
(22:38):
other people.
And as a result, other peoplehave said, wow, I've struggled with
this, too.
Let's talk about some of thethings that have worked well for
us, like how do you, you know,how do you manage your life?
How did you get to a healthy place?
And I was like, wow, thisfeels really good.
Instead of feeling shame aboutmy past, I can feel hopeful about
my future and, you know, warmand fuzzy about my present.
(23:02):
Well, I appreciate you justcoming, first of all, just being
on the show, but then comingback and then sharing a little bit
more and about the experienceand diving a little bit deeper.
And I appreciate you being myfriend and having our journeys together.
So thank you, my friend.
I appreciate you, too.
I really enjoy ourconversations and I, I love the fact
(23:26):
that you, like, you alwayscheck in on me and ask me how my
day was if I'm like, if I'msuper busy.
And, you know, I think youworry about me a little bit.
It's a little part of my nature.
But I appreciate you and thoseof you listening to these episodes.
We're going to be catching upwith a bunch of former Life Shift
guests and where they are andwhat they felt about their story.
(23:48):
So hopefully you're enjoyingthis and we will see you on the Patreon
feed.
For more information, pleasevisit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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