In this first-ever Plot Twist episode of The Light Watkins Show, host Light Watkins revisits the conversation with Arjuna O’Neal, whose life story is as dramatic as it is transformative. Arjuna takes us on a journey from his troubled youth in Detroit to a near-death experience that redefined his existence.
Arjuna recounts his childhood in the Hare Krishna community of Detroit, under the shadow of his father, one of the city's biggest drug dealers. Despite his academic success, Arjuna was drawn into the dangerous world of drugs and crime to earn his father’s approval. He describes how his father manipulated him into the drug trade, using their relationship as leverage. This toxic dynamic led Arjuna to perform increasingly dangerous tasks, including a near-fatal drive-by shooting.
Ambitious to surpass his father, Arjuna took bold steps that ultimately resulted in his father placing a hit on him. This betrayal ignited a deadly cat-and-mouse game that lasted years, deeply affecting Arjuna's psyche.
The turning point came when Arjuna’s girlfriend, in a moment of rage and fear, accidentally shot him. As he lay bleeding, Arjuna experienced a profound spiritual encounter that shifted his entire outlook on life.
This near-death experience became the catalyst for Arjuna’s spiritual transformation. He shares how this moment of intense vulnerability and pain led to a deep inner awakening and a renewed connection with God.
Join us for an intense and moving episode as Arjuna O’Neal shares his journey from the brink of death to spiritual rebirth. His story is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the possibility of profound change.
This episode marks the debut of the new "Plot Twist" series, where Light Watkins highlights pivotal moments that radically alter life's trajectory.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
So she went in the other room, grabbed a gun that I
had in the drawer, pointed itat me.
She looked me in my eyes, andwhen she realized that I was
what we would say heartless orcold-hearted, it scared her,
because she's got a gun pointedat me and I showed no reaction.
And so, once she realized thatthat's what happened, she tried
to uncock the gun, but didn'tknow how, and so, when she was
(00:23):
lowering the gun, it went off,hit me in the lower abdomen and
the bullet exploded inside of meand ripped through my femoral
artery, and that's when lifeshifted for me completely.
I had an experience thatchanged my life forever.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hey friend, welcome back to the Light Watkins show.
I'm Light Watkins and I haveconversations with ordinary
folks just like you and me,who've taken extraordinary leaps
of faith in the direction oftheir path, their purpose or
what they've identified as theirmission in life.
And, starting with this episode, the Light Watkins Show is now
(01:04):
going to be published twice aweek.
I'm putting out the longerepisode on Wednesdays, as usual,
and then I'm putting out abite-sized plot twist episode
every Friday where the guestshares the story of the pivotal
moment in their life trajectory,which is usually that moment
(01:28):
when the plot of their lifeshifted away from the
conventional thing that theywere doing and it either helped
them learn something profoundabout life or it helped them
live with a greater sense ofpurpose.
And the idea behind sharing thestories of these plot twists is
, number one, to share some ofthe incredible stories that have
(01:49):
been told on this show in thepast, but number two, to inspire
you to lean into those plottwist moments when they happen
in your life, because usually,when you get blocked in what you
thought was your life path,what actually is happening is
you're being detoured towardsthe actual path for this season
(02:10):
of your life and sometimes thatlooks like getting fired or
could be losing a large sum ofmoney.
It could look like gettingdivorced or having someone
sabotage you and in the case ofthis week's plot twist with
Arjuna O'Neill, it's gettingshot like literally shot, by the
girl that he was dating at thetime.
And to set the scene, justbefore Arjuna got shot, he was a
(02:34):
teenager growing up in the HareKrishna community of Detroit
and his dad happened to be oneof the biggest drug dealers in
the city who groomed Arjuna toenter into the family business,
which was drug dealing.
And the whole thing culminatesin Arjuna getting a hit put out
on him by his dad and thenultimately getting shot and
(02:56):
having a near-death experiencewhere he engaged in a
life-changing conversation withGod.
Let's listen in.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I was always a smart kid.
I was always advanced than mostkids in my age group, and so
what my dad wanted was me to bemore like him, and how he did it
was he made me feel like theonly way that I could actually
have time with him, spend timewith him, was that I had to show
him how to use my education ormy smarts to advance in the
(03:39):
streets.
And so I remember graduating,getting ready to go into high
school, and I had a 3.8 GPA andI'm like yo pops.
You know, I just want a car.
You know you help me get a car.
And I'll never forget this day.
He looked at the report card.
He's ripped it in half, rippedit a few times, laughed him
through it.
He's like man.
No, he said this is how you getwhat you want.
And I'll never forget he camein with a half a brick or half a
(04:03):
kilo or whatever you guys wantto call it cocaine and handed me
my first pistol.
And he said so, if you want thecar, you go out and you earn it
.
I'll never forget I was like,wow, who does that?
Who says that?
To the six-year-old it didn'tseem abnormal to the extent that
(04:25):
that's what all my brothers,that's what everybody was doing.
But again, that internal, thatinner, was like man nah, this
ain't it.
Where did he?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
go to get the brick of cocaine.
Where was it exactly?
Did he go to unlock a safesomewhere, or was it in a closet
?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I was in my room so we had that conversation in the
evening and then the nextmorning that's how he woke me up
.
He threw it at me, threw it inthe bed.
I remember because he threw itit hit me in the rib in the pain
, like I thought he brokesomething, tossed it across the
room, he's like, and he threwthe half a kilo and he threw the
gun.
But then there was a part of methat was excited, because I'm
(04:57):
like for the first time I waslike shit, I get now to actually
build this relationship with mydad.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So it wasn't even about selling drugs.
It was about just gettingcloser to your dad.
That was the way to get closeto your role model.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, because in the midst of all that hanging out
with him and him showing me thestreets, ice cream trucks, all
this stuff you know I'm a kid soyou know he wads of money like
whatever we want to do streetfairs.
So he pacified me with all ofthe little low hanging fruits,
you know, anything that I couldwant and that felt good.
So I didn't really make a bigdeal about going on the rides
(05:35):
and the ride alongs and all thedifferent things, even though I
saw things that didn't feel good.
They, you know I seen thingsthat would scare the average
person, but I also was like Iget to be with my dad and then
all the little things that comewith it.
I just tune that stuff out, didyou feel?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
competent in flipping that brick of cocaine, like how
to do that and how to stay safein doing so and all of those
things.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It's like that relationship, like that girl or
that guy you always wanted.
And there's a part of you whereyou'll tell yourself I'll do
whatever it takes to get thatperson, that relationship that I
wanted with my dad.
I knew that I had enough drive,enough charisma to figure it
out.
I knew that I had enough in meto impress him.
(06:16):
Now I didn't know exactly whatthat entailed until I had those
real experiences.
Now you can have an idea aboutsomething, you can have an idea
of how you want to approachsomething, but then when you hit
that real experience, so youcan have an idea about something
, you can have an idea of howyou want to approach something,
but then when you hit that realexperience, what it opens you up
to, that's where the real shifthappened.
I had to become something thatI actually wasn't.
So what was your first step in?
(06:41):
He took me on a ride along.
He stopped by his spots, hepicked up his money along the
trail of who he sold to.
We went to a guy's house andthe guy owed him some money and
I remember my dad being upsetand in the back of my mind I'm
like this is my moment.
I'm going to collect for my dad.
He doesn't know it yet, but I'mgoing to show him that I can do
(07:02):
this.
And so later on that night Iremember putting on a wig and a
house coat and I got on a bike.
I had a 10 speed at the time.
Whose wig that you put on yourmom's, my grandmother's?
I was staying with my dad, soI'm now, I'm staying with my dad
.
You know my stories are fun.
You can laugh, because I laughthrough, even when I hear myself
think about this stuff.
You to uh, sorry, no, it's allgood.
(07:25):
So I'm living with, I'm livingwith his mom, because nobody
knew where he laid his head.
I'm staying with his mom, whichis my grandmother.
I put on her wig because I just, you know, I, I knew I wanted
to look different.
I just knew that it from youknow, watching movies and
reading stories about how tojust camouflage yourself or
disguise yourself.
So I I put on the disguise andI remember I rolled up to the
(07:46):
house and I had a .357 and Icould see the shadows in the
house.
I seen people and I remember Ijust pulled the trigger and let
off a few shots In the air.
No, in the house, into thehouse.
I hit the house.
I was trying to hit theshadow.
Why were you trying to shootthe guy?
Because you had a conversationwith him already?
(08:09):
No, I had just heard my dad'sconversation with the guy.
I was there, I was standingthere, he saw me and I was in
the room while they were havingthe conversation.
But again, I'm doing it the wayI think the streets work right.
I don't really know how thisworks.
This is my first, remember.
You asked me how to get there,so this is my.
This is me seeing if this wasme introducing myself to this
life scene, if I really had whatit took and you already knew
(08:32):
how to shoot a gun, or was thatyour first time shooting a gun?
No, I knew how to shoot a gun.
So you shoot into the house,shoot into the house, the shadow
moves, it hits, it just dropsRight.
I see it standing up and then Isee the shadow go and hit the
ground.
Well, the next day my dad getsa phone call from the guy and he
says man, come get all yourmoney.
I got it.
We go.
You know, I'm excited because Iknow what happened.
(08:54):
Right, I know why the guy'scalling.
I didn't kill him, thank God.
But when I get there, whathappens is, tells my dad, hey,
man, I'm sorry, I got your money.
And then he's like he didn'tblame my dad, but he's like I
don't know, somebody came andthey shot him.
To my house, he says and justso happened.
I happened to bend over to pickmy daughter up and the bullet
missed me.
I remember trembling in myshoes like how could I kill this
(09:16):
guy?
Or I could have killed hisdaughter, and I was like, okay,
rule number one, no drive-bys.
One thing I won't do is justshoot randomly.
I said if it's ever going to bethe instance where I have to
use a gun, it's got to beface-to-face.
What I realized was there wastwo versions of this street life
.
There's that pretend Hollywoodversion where you see the things
(09:37):
in the movies, and then there'sthat mobster life when you
watch Narcos or stuff like that,where you hear how they really
make moves happen.
And so I had to ask myself, howserious do you want to be,
arjuna, like how deep do youwant to go down this rabbit hole
in order to have thisrelationship with your father?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Did you ever tell him that you were the one that shot
into the window?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
He knew it, he knew it.
It was like this proud fathermoment.
He looked over at me and he hadthis smirk on his face.
We never had a fullconversation about it, but it
was like this nod he gave melike okay, I see, you're ready.
And then he sent me on my firstreal big assignment.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Okay, which was why you got everybody sitting on the
edge of their seatsno-transcript.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I had enough drugs to probably get three natural life
sentences.
So he started me out with justI was a driver, new license, no
tickets, nothing.
So I would drive and movemassive amounts and I so
remember.
I have brothers.
I have like seven or eightbrothers that are older than me.
I was the youngest and all Ican remember was like how I want
(10:43):
to advance, I want to get pastit, I need to do things in a to
get past it.
I need to do things in a waythat it's cutting edge, smart,
and so now what's interesting ismy spiritual practice started
to.
Somehow I integrated it in thislifestyle.
So then I came up with my ownrules.
I didn't hurt people, right, butat the same time I'm hurting
people right, but I didn'tconsciously go out and hurt
(11:05):
people for no reason.
I had compassion.
You know I took care, hurtpeople, right, but at the same
time I'm hurting people Right,but I didn't consciously go out
and hurt people for no reason.
I had compassion.
You know I took care of kids.
I took care of single moms thatwere on drugs, like I remember
being told one day, because Ididn't, on Sundays I would be at
the temple and one day I was atone of my locations, speaking
to some of the people where Iwould distribute my drugs, and
(11:26):
they made a joke like you're theonly drug dealer I know who
goes to church on Sunday.
You know, at the time when thewoman first said it, I was like
wait, damn, that's a hell of acontradiction, right?
Like how am I a drug dealer?
But I'm known for being inchurch and I'm known in the
streets for being in church onSunday, and a part of me was
like whoa, I felt it.
I was like at some point that'sgoing to catch up with you,
arjun.
(11:46):
And so I thought, well, okay,well then, you need to advance,
you need to get this moving, youneed to get to the top as fast
as you can.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
What does the top look like from that scene in
Detroit?
Like what do you imagine thetop?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
What are you aspiring to At that time when you say
the top?
There were individuals that youwould see, that the way they
would move through the streets,it was as if they had a cape on
Right.
They could go anywhere and theygot respect.
And I used to marvel, like, howcan one man control a whole
neighborhood or a whole side ofa town where this person is evil
(12:24):
, corrupt, but somehow they haveso much power on the streets
that no one ever would challengethem?
This person could beoutnumbered and taken down, and
I was like man, how do I reachthat?
How do I get to a point where,as a solo being, you would
question yourself if you decidedto do anything or approach me
in any way?
And so that's what I consideredto be the top, and so the term
(12:47):
that we use is I just keptputting in the work.
And then I got to a place wherewhat I learned was that my dad
never really cared, in a sense,because when you step back and
you look at it, you're like well, how could you say you love
your kids, how could you say youloved your son, if this is what
you're teaching them?
This is where you're puttingthem?
And so that reality became real.
(13:07):
One day, me and my dad decidedto have a conversation about
growing.
I was like, hey, dad, I'vereached this level, I'm ready to
create my own entourage my own.
And he was like no, it don'twork like that.
You only do what you do throughme.
And I'm like you know, I knowthe numbers.
Now I see how this system worksand I built this courage up in
(13:27):
myself.
I built this level of mindset.
So I'm like pops don't worklike that.
You're making all the money.
So I did the ultimate, whichyou don't do.
You see it in all the movies.
I went directly to the connect.
How old were you?
Somewhere between 18 and 20.
Were you in?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
school, high school Did you drop out of school?
Like you were a 3.8 grade pointaverage student.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
What happened to that ?
Never dropped out of school,kept going.
I had a way about myself.
I carried myself in such adebonair way, in such a very
suave you know.
I took on some of my dad'scharacters very, very smooth but
manipulative and what I did wasI would just go into class.
The teachers understood thatsomeone was different about me,
(14:12):
but I had a way of using mywords and I would just get my
work in advance.
I would tell a story.
Hey, teacher, this is what'sgoing on in my life get the work
in advance, turn it all in atthe end of the week.
And that's how I did it.
I never stopped going to school.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I never stopped educating myself either, so you
were doing the schoolwork duringthe day and the street work
During the day.
I mixed it all up During theday.
Okay, so you went to theConnect and what?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
happened.
Then Money talks.
This guy was my dad's childhoodfriend, so he broke it down.
He says look, technically Ishould kill you, but I've been
watching you and I've always hadthis about me, where people
were fond of my personality.
That was different.
And now I realize what it was.
It was the spiritual practicesthat were in, rooted in, but I
(14:56):
didn't know it at the time.
And so he's like, hey, I'mgonna do this, but you know what
this means.
You know where this is going tochange your relationship.
He says but if you're willingto go there, put your money on
the table.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Now wasn't he risking retaliation from your dad by
cutting that deal with you?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Not necessarily, because see in the streets, you
understand there's a part wheremoney take that and that's what
we hear about all the time.
You know how money corrupts,how money changes the way we do
things, how we allow money toinfluence, and so from that
perspective it was like well,the money was there.
So from a street perspective,he had his money, his money was
together and as far as he wasconcerned, that conflicts
(15:34):
between you and your dad.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
He didn't really care where the money came from.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah, and that's how it works.
He's like hey, this is betweenyou and your people.
As long as you're good here,we're good.
I have nothing to do with whathappens once you walk out of
this door.
And sure enough, I got thephone call.
I'm sure he called your dadright away.
Oh man, I got the phone call.
What happened from there?
Man, my dad put a hit out on me.
What does that mean Exactly?
I defied all orders.
He put a hit out on me like,hey, bring him to me dead or
(16:00):
alive.
I had a bounty on my head by myown dad.
And so this played out for abouttwo or three years we would see
each other in the streets, atlights He'd pull out a gun, I'd
pull out mine or at the templehe'd see my mom.
And it got real when he told mymom one Sunday he saw her in
front of the temple.
They both went on a Sunday andhe told her he says hey, when I
(16:23):
see your son, I'm killing him.
And she cried and she didn'tknow how to tell me that.
He told her those words and Iwasn't even mad that he said he
was going to kill me.
The fact that she shed a tear.
From that point forward, myrelationship with my dad it was
war, all out war, because onething that I did know through my
whole journey is that my momnever left me hanging, even
though my dad said things abouther and even though I was living
(16:45):
with him for a time.
My mom has always been, to thisdate, a spiritually loving,
compassionate, kind person.
You know she had her challenges, her drama, her stories, always
practiced what she preached.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Had you developed that trust in your mom at that
point.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Because earlier you say you did not trust your mom.
No, at that time I haddeveloped it, but I didn't trust
her because she had to turn mein, where I was admitted to the
mental hospital when I was 16for an incident that happened
between my dad and I, and I toldthe therapist and the therapist
asked me well, would you everhurt your dad?
And I said, yeah, I'm angryenough to hurt him.
She says, well, how I said,with this Glock that I have on
my hip and with this Glock thatI have on my hip, and at that
time I just I'm thinking thatI'm just being able, I'm like
this is my cousin, you be honest, right, and I didn't know.
So she, you know, as soon as Ileft out, she hit the button and
(17:31):
so my mom gets a phone call.
It's like, hey, your son isarmed and dangerous.
You got less than 24 hours toturn, put in a padded robe and
being a straitjacket, andthrough all this whole story and
everything we're talking about,the only thing that I can tell
(17:53):
you that was really wrong withme was just that I was hurt,
deeply hurt, and abandoned, likeI didn't feel, like I had
anybody.
That was it, but just fromthose two feelings I was able to
fuel myself in a way that mademe dangerous.
I was a different kind ofdangerous.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Between you and your dad was one of you bluffing Like
why didn't, why did it take solong, like you said, two or
three years?
You guys were chasing eachother around like Pacino and De
Niro and Heat.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, what happened was I realized I was the first
person that was able to getbehind my dad's card.
Like I was the first one thatactually got to see him see him
Right.
No one else could get closeenough to he.
Never let anybody get closeenough to him to really read his
true demeanor.
I figured it out going totherapists being locked up in an
institution.
(18:50):
I learned a different psychologyand so I was able to get inside
.
And once I was able to getinside his head, I was like, oh,
you're a normal human beinglike everybody else.
You just have a damn good mask.
And once I figured that out,for me it was now.
It was joy, because I'm likeall those years what I watched
you do to my mom, so I actuallylet it carry on thrived off of
(19:15):
letting my brothers and sisterssee how I would put my dad in
this state of fear because hetold my older brother like I
think I created a monster and hedidn't know how to turn me off.
But then you know it gets goodto you, right, the intention was
to do this, but then there'sthat power that comes with it.
Then there's this the voids ofthe hurt and the suffering.
I started feeding that throughour interactions, through the
(19:38):
fear that I saw in him.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
So all that is happening in the background?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You're 19 years old and you're in your apartment
with your girlfriend or somewoman you were dating, or what
was that?
How do you explain thatrelationship again, because it's
very complicated.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Yeah, me and this young lady.
As you fast forward to thismoment that you're getting ready
, we're getting ready to dropinto.
I had a team this young ladywas as you fast forward to this
moment that you're getting ready, we're getting ready to drop
into.
I had a team.
This young lady was part ofthat team and I compromised, I
broke one of the protocols, Ibecame intimate with her and
then we shared that space From aperspective, you usually don't
(20:16):
mix that, because it can turninto something where either you
compromise or you find yourselfin a situation where you let
your emotions get in the way ofthat lifestyle.
So that's what happened and mydad.
At this time we didn't reallyresolve our issue, but we
understood that if we worktogether, we could do far more
greater things than fight.
(20:36):
And so somehow, naturally, weended up getting back in flow
and we joined forces and hecalled me to go pick up
something, to see something.
And I remember telling him likelook, but I always had this
thing, like man, I shouldn'tmess with him.
And I did.
And so my dad called and heasked me to come, and I told him
(20:58):
.
I said, hey, look, the timethat you're asking me to come
doesn't look good, you know.
I let him know that where I was, the situation I was in, I'm
like this don't look good for meto be getting up and leaving at
three o'clock in the morning.
I'm like, can we do this at adifferent time?
He's like, no, do it now.
And so at this time you know myrelationship with the young lady
(21:28):
intelligence was so low that Iwasn't even able to read signs
that I was hurting this woman orthat she was upset.
And she told me she says well,you leave, stay at that woman's
house, don't come back.
And I'm like I couldn't tellher because at the level of the
game I was playing, you neverdisclosed when you picked up or
dropped, because that's howpeople get hit, robbed, killed.
And so I had to make up a storyand I was trying to tell my dad
(21:51):
.
I said, hey, I got to get back.
Well, he didn't honor what Iasked and so I ended up staying
out all night.
Stuff wasn't ready until thenext day and so I came back.
In her mind, I was out with afemale and I remember coming
back and I was so excitedbecause I was like I got what I
needed.
But she was pissed.
And again I told you I was sodisconnected from my own body,
(22:11):
my own emotions, my own feelingsthat I didn't even register.
Hers were completely irate, shewas hurt.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
And this is before cell phones.
You couldn't text.
No one was texting anybody,right?
It's just you had pagers orsomething, I'm assuming.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
No, no Cell phones were there.
This is right around that erawhen StarTech, we just got into
the digital phone.
It was the basic digital phone.
What happened was it didn'teven matter, it didn't matter.
She told me, if I left anddidn't come back, that's what
she was going to believe.
And so I remember coming backinto the house and she was
(22:46):
pissed and she started tellingme how she felt.
And I just looked at her and Iwas like, well, look, you can
think what you want to think.
This is where I'm at.
This is what I did.
And the conversation it justshifted.
And I remember her telling meyou know, I'd kill you.
Part of me was like shit, goahead.
Like really, like I really waslike it's cool.
But then another part of me waslike I didn't want to die, but I
(23:07):
wanted to challenge it.
I was so angry inside and sohurt that I would challenge any
situation that could have takenme out.
And so I told her do what yougot to do.
So she went in the other room,grabbed a gun that I had in the
drawer, pointed it at me, andwhen she realized she looked me
in my eyes, and when sherealized that I was what we
would say oh heartless or coldhearted.
(23:28):
It scared her because she's gota gun pointed at me and I
showed no reaction, and so, onceshe realized that that's what
happened, she tried to uncockthe gun, but didn't know how,
and so, when she was loweringthe gun, it went off, hit me in
the lower abdomen and the bulletexploded inside of me and
(23:50):
ripped through my femoral artery, and that's when life shifted
for me completely.
I had an experience thatchanged my life forever.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
When she had the gun pointing at you.
What was your mindset in thatmoment?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Well, when I looked down the barrel of the gun, I
was like this could be quick.
In my mind I'm like if she doesthis, it's going to be quick
because she's pointing right atme.
Right, I'm just like how fastwill it happen?
And then I'm like part of me islike, like I said, I was so
empty.
I'd been carrying so muchheaviness that I didn't think
that she had the guts to do it.
But I also was open.
(24:19):
I was just open to theexperience.
I didn't run from it and Ifound that to be very
interesting in that moment.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
What does it feel like to get shot?
Speaker 1 (24:28):
What does it feel like to get shot?
Well, I got shot with a .38caliber, long-grained.
So it would be the SaturdayNight Special edition.
That's the one that you usuallysee the police officers have in
their bootstrap in all themovies that backup.
And if you wonder why theyalways use that as a backup,
(24:48):
because it's a powerful caliberpistol, the long grain.
And when it hit me it felt likea semi truck hit my body, like
I was up against a wall, and inthat moment I remember thinking
wow, we definitely could havehad a conversation about this.
thinking wow, we definitelycould have had a conversation
about this.
I was like, shit, we could havetalked about this.
(25:10):
That was the first thought,like when it hit me.
I was just like, damn, we couldhave talked about this, we
definitely could have workedthis one out.
And then I don't know why, like, but I saw the look and hurt in
her face for the first time andI instantly had compassion.
I was like, damn, oh, a part ofmy hurt.
I saw it in her.
So now I'm like, wait, it'sstarting to make sense what's
(25:32):
happening here, because I canregister now where I'm at
through the look in her eye andshe was horrified that she did
what she did and so she decidesto turn the gun on herself.
I'm like, whoa, wait, wait,wait, wait.
I said hey, hey, hey.
In my mind I'm like wait, youcan't kill yourself, because if
I make it and I can't explainwhy you're dead, I'm not going
(25:52):
to prison like this, not in thiscondition.
I'm not going to prison at all.
This is what I'm telling myself.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Are you on the floor?
Are you on the couch?
Did you get knocked back?
Like well, what's?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
your.
I'm twisted up in the middle ofthe floor laying in about two
inches of just hot blood and I'mbleeding.
And I knew in that moment Isaid, damn, this isn't like the
movies.
I said this is it From going toschool and understanding a
little bit about anatomy andgoing to class and studying the
body.
And then I used to watch a lotof war movies and I remember
Private Ryan when he got hit inthat artery, and so I instantly
(26:24):
I started thinking.
I said I can't panic and I knewthat if my panic the heart rate
goes up, I'll bleed faster.
I'm in the inner city, there'sno telling when the ambulance
would be here.
So I got to go to work onmyself and so I remember putting
my finger in the hole and toput my own finger in my own body
.
Shit just got real.
I connected.
It was a connection with myselfnow and I'm like man, here it
(26:46):
is.
And then I just startedthinking I don't have time to
cry, I don't have time to thinkabout all this shit that could
have, would have, and I was like, all right, I need to connect.
And I remember meditation.
My mom would meditate, my dadwould meditate In the Hare
Krishna movement, meditation waspart of the practice.
So I had my first realmeditation by default, because I
was trying to just calm down soI could prolong this bleed out
(27:10):
situation that was happening.
And in that moment I remembertelling her I said, please just
give me a minute, step back, I'mgoing to close my eyes, but I'm
not dead.
She didn't understand thatbecause meditation wasn't
something that you heard in thestreets.
So when I closed my eyes shethought I was dying.
And so I remember I keptsmacking me like wake up.
And I'm like.
I was like, hey, step back,like give me a minute.
I got to connect with God.
(27:30):
I was like I got to make sometransitions here.
If I'm going to go, I didn'twant to go out, right, if I in
my mind was I can't die in thisspace of fear, panic or remorse,
like feeling bad about myself.
I said, if I'm going to go out,I need to go out in a state, in
a higher consciousness of allthe stuff that I was taught
through the Bhagavad Gita.
(27:51):
I need to raise my vibration.
I at least need to die in a Godconsciousness.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
You probably sounded like you were hallucinating to
her and you closing your eyesand talking about God.
That probably made her thinkyou were about to die.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I couldn't understand that Because she knew about the
temple life, you know, becauseI was gone every Sunday.
That's when I went into thatdeep state and I had the
conversation.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Was there pain at that time during that
conversation, or had youtranscended the pain I?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
transcended everything from the physical,
material plane.
The feeling, the space that Iwas in.
It was that place I alwayswanted to be.
It was that feeling that Ialways wanted to have from my
mother, from my father.
It was that love and thatcomfort that I always wanted to
have.
And I had it in that moment.
And I knew, but I didn't know,if I was dead or not.
(28:37):
I just knew that nothing hurt.
Everything felt amazing,amazing.
It was the most beautifulfeeling I ever had and I went
from literally burning alive tothe most beautiful love, felt,
harmonious space.
And I remember talking to god.
I said, hey, god, well, this isit, you know.
I apologized and I was like, asgood as this may be, I said
(29:01):
what, what about my mom?
I remember I just kept thinkingabout my mother.
I said what about my mom?
I've never seen her waver inher faith and her belief in her
teachings this whole time.
And I said, so you can spare mefor my mom's sake, please.
But if you can't, I understand.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
That was Arjuna O'Neill describing the plot
twist in his life story.
To listen to the rest of thestory, go to episode 111 in the
archive.
We'll link to it in the shownotes as well.
This was one of the richeststorytelling episodes that I've
had on this podcast, so it'swell worth going back and
(29:37):
listening from the beginning andalso to see what happens to
Arjuna after he got shot.
And if you want to see whereArjuna is today and what he's
been up to, you can find him onthe socials at Arjuna,
underscore O'Neal, which isA-R-J-U-N-A underscore O-N-E-A-L
.
And if you know anyone who'smaking the world a better place
(30:00):
and they also had an incredibleplot twist in their life email
me your guest suggestions atlight at light Watkins dot com.
My other ask is that you take afew seconds to leave a rating or
review for the show.
You hear podcast hosts like meask listeners like you for
ratings all the time, becausethat's how a lot of the bigger
(30:21):
guests determine if they'regoing to come on to the podcast.
So it does make a hugedifference.
And all you do is you look atyour device, you click on the
name of the show, you scrolldown past the first five
episodes, you'll see a spacewith five blank stars.
Just tap the star all the wayon the right to leave a five
star rating and, if you'refeeling a bit generous, leave a
(30:42):
quick review about the show andthat will go a long way as well.
Also, don't forget, you canwatch these plot twist episodes
on my YouTube channel if youprefer to see what Arjuna looks
like as he's sharing his story,and don't forget to subscribe on
YouTube as well.
All right, I'll see you onWednesday with the next long
(31:02):
form conversation about anordinary person doing
extraordinary things to leavethe world a better place.
And until then, keep trustingyour intuition, keep following
your heart and keep leaning into those plot twists in your
life.
And if no one's told yourecently that they believe in
you, I believe in you.
(31:22):
Thank you so much and have afantastic weekend.
So she went in the other room, grabbed a gun that I
had in the drawer, pointed itat me.
She looked me in my eyes, andwhen she realized that I was
what we would say heartless orcold-hearted, it scared her,
because she's got a gun pointedat me and I showed no reaction.
And so, once she realized thatthat's what happened, she tried
to uncock the gun, but didn'tknow how, and so, when she was
(00:23):
lowering the gun, it went off,hit me in the lower abdomen and
the bullet exploded inside of meand ripped through my femoral
artery, and that's when lifeshifted for me completely.
I had an experience thatchanged my life forever.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hey friend, welcome back to the Light Watkins show.
I'm Light Watkins and I haveconversations with ordinary
folks just like you and me,who've taken extraordinary leaps
of faith in the direction oftheir path, their purpose or
what they've identified as theirmission in life.
And, starting with this episode, the Light Watkins Show is now
(01:04):
going to be published twice aweek.
I'm putting out the longerepisode on Wednesdays, as usual,
and then I'm putting out abite-sized plot twist episode
every Friday where the guestshares the story of the pivotal
moment in their life trajectory,which is usually that moment
(01:28):
when the plot of their lifeshifted away from the
conventional thing that theywere doing and it either helped
them learn something profoundabout life or it helped them
live with a greater sense ofpurpose.
And the idea behind sharing thestories of these plot twists is
, number one, to share some ofthe incredible stories that have
(01:49):
been told on this show in thepast, but number two, to inspire
you to lean into those plottwist moments when they happen
in your life, because usually,when you get blocked in what you
thought was your life path,what actually is happening is
you're being detoured towardsthe actual path for this season
(02:10):
of your life and sometimes thatlooks like getting fired or
could be losing a large sum ofmoney.
It could look like gettingdivorced or having someone
sabotage you and in the case ofthis week's plot twist with
Arjuna O'Neill, it's gettingshot like literally shot, by the
girl that he was dating at thetime.
And to set the scene, justbefore Arjuna got shot, he was a
(02:34):
teenager growing up in the HareKrishna community of Detroit
and his dad happened to be oneof the biggest drug dealers in
the city who groomed Arjuna toenter into the family business,
which was drug dealing.
And the whole thing culminatesin Arjuna getting a hit put out
on him by his dad and thenultimately getting shot and
(02:56):
having a near-death experiencewhere he engaged in a
life-changing conversation withGod.
Let's listen in.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I was always a smart kid.
I was always advanced than mostkids in my age group, and so
what my dad wanted was me to bemore like him, and how he did it
was he made me feel like theonly way that I could actually
have time with him, spend timewith him, was that I had to show
him how to use my education ormy smarts to advance in the
(03:39):
streets.
And so I remember graduating,getting ready to go into high
school, and I had a 3.8 GPA andI'm like yo pops.
You know, I just want a car.
You know you help me get a car.
And I'll never forget this day.
He looked at the report card.
He's ripped it in half, rippedit a few times, laughed him
through it.
He's like man.
No, he said this is how you getwhat you want.
And I'll never forget he camein with a half a brick or half a
(04:03):
kilo or whatever you guys wantto call it cocaine and handed me
my first pistol.
And he said so, if you want thecar, you go out and you earn it
.
I'll never forget I was like,wow, who does that?
Who says that?
To the six-year-old it didn'tseem abnormal to the extent that
(04:25):
that's what all my brothers,that's what everybody was doing.
But again, that internal, thatinner, was like man nah, this
ain't it.
Where did he?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
go to get the brick of cocaine.
Where was it exactly?
Did he go to unlock a safesomewhere, or was it in a closet
?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I was in my room so we had that conversation in the
evening and then the nextmorning that's how he woke me up
.
He threw it at me, threw it inthe bed.
I remember because he threw itit hit me in the rib in the pain
, like I thought he brokesomething, tossed it across the
room, he's like, and he threwthe half a kilo and he threw the
gun.
But then there was a part of methat was excited, because I'm
(04:57):
like for the first time I waslike shit, I get now to actually
build this relationship with mydad.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So it wasn't even about selling drugs.
It was about just gettingcloser to your dad.
That was the way to get closeto your role model.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, because in the midst of all that hanging out
with him and him showing me thestreets, ice cream trucks, all
this stuff you know I'm a kid soyou know he wads of money like
whatever we want to do streetfairs.
So he pacified me with all ofthe little low hanging fruits,
you know, anything that I couldwant and that felt good.
So I didn't really make a bigdeal about going on the rides
(05:35):
and the ride alongs and all thedifferent things, even though I
saw things that didn't feel good.
They, you know I seen thingsthat would scare the average
person, but I also was like Iget to be with my dad and then
all the little things that comewith it.
I just tune that stuff out, didyou feel?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
competent in flipping that brick of cocaine, like how
to do that and how to stay safein doing so and all of those
things.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It's like that relationship, like that girl or
that guy you always wanted.
And there's a part of you whereyou'll tell yourself I'll do
whatever it takes to get thatperson, that relationship that I
wanted with my dad.
I knew that I had enough drive,enough charisma to figure it
out.
I knew that I had enough in meto impress him.
(06:16):
Now I didn't know exactly whatthat entailed until I had those
real experiences.
Now you can have an idea aboutsomething, you can have an idea
of how you want to approachsomething, but then when you hit
that real experience, so youcan have an idea about something
, you can have an idea of howyou want to approach something,
but then when you hit that realexperience, what it opens you up
to, that's where the real shifthappened.
I had to become something thatI actually wasn't.
So what was your first step in?
(06:41):
He took me on a ride along.
He stopped by his spots, hepicked up his money along the
trail of who he sold to.
We went to a guy's house andthe guy owed him some money and
I remember my dad being upsetand in the back of my mind I'm
like this is my moment.
I'm going to collect for my dad.
He doesn't know it yet, but I'mgoing to show him that I can do
(07:02):
this.
And so later on that night Iremember putting on a wig and a
house coat and I got on a bike.
I had a 10 speed at the time.
Whose wig that you put on yourmom's, my grandmother's?
I was staying with my dad, soI'm now, I'm staying with my dad
.
You know my stories are fun.
You can laugh, because I laughthrough, even when I hear myself
think about this stuff.
You to uh, sorry, no, it's allgood.
(07:25):
So I'm living with, I'm livingwith his mom, because nobody
knew where he laid his head.
I'm staying with his mom, whichis my grandmother.
I put on her wig because I just, you know, I, I knew I wanted
to look different.
I just knew that it from youknow, watching movies and
reading stories about how tojust camouflage yourself or
disguise yourself.
So I I put on the disguise andI remember I rolled up to the
(07:46):
house and I had a .357 and Icould see the shadows in the
house.
I seen people and I remember Ijust pulled the trigger and let
off a few shots In the air.
No, in the house, into thehouse.
I hit the house.
I was trying to hit theshadow.
Why were you trying to shootthe guy?
Because you had a conversationwith him already?
(08:09):
No, I had just heard my dad'sconversation with the guy.
I was there, I was standingthere, he saw me and I was in
the room while they were havingthe conversation.
But again, I'm doing it the wayI think the streets work right.
I don't really know how thisworks.
This is my first, remember.
You asked me how to get there,so this is my.
This is me seeing if this wasme introducing myself to this
life scene, if I really had whatit took and you already knew
(08:32):
how to shoot a gun, or was thatyour first time shooting a gun?
No, I knew how to shoot a gun.
So you shoot into the house,shoot into the house, the shadow
moves, it hits, it just dropsRight.
I see it standing up and then Isee the shadow go and hit the
ground.
Well, the next day my dad getsa phone call from the guy and he
says man, come get all yourmoney.
I got it.
We go.
You know, I'm excited because Iknow what happened.
(08:54):
Right, I know why the guy'scalling.
I didn't kill him, thank God.
But when I get there, whathappens is, tells my dad, hey,
man, I'm sorry, I got your money.
And then he's like he didn'tblame my dad, but he's like I
don't know, somebody came andthey shot him.
To my house, he says and justso happened.
I happened to bend over to pickmy daughter up and the bullet
missed me.
I remember trembling in myshoes like how could I kill this
(09:16):
guy?
Or I could have killed hisdaughter, and I was like, okay,
rule number one, no drive-bys.
One thing I won't do is justshoot randomly.
I said if it's ever going to bethe instance where I have to
use a gun, it's got to beface-to-face.
What I realized was there wastwo versions of this street life
.
There's that pretend Hollywoodversion where you see the things
(09:37):
in the movies, and then there'sthat mobster life when you
watch Narcos or stuff like that,where you hear how they really
make moves happen.
And so I had to ask myself, howserious do you want to be,
arjuna, like how deep do youwant to go down this rabbit hole
in order to have thisrelationship with your father?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Did you ever tell him that you were the one that shot
into the window?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
He knew it, he knew it.
It was like this proud fathermoment.
He looked over at me and he hadthis smirk on his face.
We never had a fullconversation about it, but it
was like this nod he gave melike okay, I see, you're ready.
And then he sent me on my firstreal big assignment.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Okay, which was why you got everybody sitting on the
edge of their seatsno-transcript.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I had enough drugs to probably get three natural life
sentences.
So he started me out with justI was a driver, new license, no
tickets, nothing.
So I would drive and movemassive amounts and I so
remember.
I have brothers.
I have like seven or eightbrothers that are older than me.
I was the youngest and all Ican remember was like how I want
(10:43):
to advance, I want to get pastit, I need to do things in a to
get past it.
I need to do things in a waythat it's cutting edge, smart,
and so now what's interesting ismy spiritual practice started
to.
Somehow I integrated it in thislifestyle.
So then I came up with my ownrules.
I didn't hurt people, right, butat the same time I'm hurting
people right, but I didn'tconsciously go out and hurt
(11:05):
people for no reason.
I had compassion.
You know I took care, hurtpeople, right, but at the same
time I'm hurting people Right,but I didn't consciously go out
and hurt people for no reason.
I had compassion.
You know I took care of kids.
I took care of single moms thatwere on drugs, like I remember
being told one day, because Ididn't, on Sundays I would be at
the temple and one day I was atone of my locations, speaking
to some of the people where Iwould distribute my drugs, and
(11:26):
they made a joke like you're theonly drug dealer I know who
goes to church on Sunday.
You know, at the time when thewoman first said it, I was like
wait, damn, that's a hell of acontradiction, right?
Like how am I a drug dealer?
But I'm known for being inchurch and I'm known in the
streets for being in church onSunday, and a part of me was
like whoa, I felt it.
I was like at some point that'sgoing to catch up with you,
arjun.
(11:46):
And so I thought, well, okay,well then, you need to advance,
you need to get this moving, youneed to get to the top as fast
as you can.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
What does the top look like from that scene in
Detroit?
Like what do you imagine thetop?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
What are you aspiring to At that time when you say
the top?
There were individuals that youwould see, that the way they
would move through the streets,it was as if they had a cape on
Right.
They could go anywhere and theygot respect.
And I used to marvel, like, howcan one man control a whole
neighborhood or a whole side ofa town where this person is evil
(12:24):
, corrupt, but somehow they haveso much power on the streets
that no one ever would challengethem?
This person could beoutnumbered and taken down, and
I was like man, how do I reachthat?
How do I get to a point where,as a solo being, you would
question yourself if you decidedto do anything or approach me
in any way?
And so that's what I consideredto be the top, and so the term
(12:47):
that we use is I just keptputting in the work.
And then I got to a place wherewhat I learned was that my dad
never really cared, in a sense,because when you step back and
you look at it, you're like well, how could you say you love
your kids, how could you say youloved your son, if this is what
you're teaching them?
This is where you're puttingthem?
And so that reality became real.
(13:07):
One day, me and my dad decidedto have a conversation about
growing.
I was like, hey, dad, I'vereached this level, I'm ready to
create my own entourage my own.
And he was like no, it don'twork like that.
You only do what you do throughme.
And I'm like you know, I knowthe numbers.
Now I see how this system worksand I built this courage up in
(13:27):
myself.
I built this level of mindset.
So I'm like pops don't worklike that.
You're making all the money.
So I did the ultimate, whichyou don't do.
You see it in all the movies.
I went directly to the connect.
How old were you?
Somewhere between 18 and 20.
Were you in?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
school, high school Did you drop out of school?
Like you were a 3.8 grade pointaverage student.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
What happened to that ?
Never dropped out of school,kept going.
I had a way about myself.
I carried myself in such adebonair way, in such a very
suave you know.
I took on some of my dad'scharacters very, very smooth but
manipulative and what I did wasI would just go into class.
The teachers understood thatsomeone was different about me,
(14:12):
but I had a way of using mywords and I would just get my
work in advance.
I would tell a story.
Hey, teacher, this is what'sgoing on in my life get the work
in advance, turn it all in atthe end of the week.
And that's how I did it.
I never stopped going to school.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I never stopped educating myself either, so you
were doing the schoolwork duringthe day and the street work
During the day.
I mixed it all up During theday.
Okay, so you went to theConnect and what?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
happened.
Then Money talks.
This guy was my dad's childhoodfriend, so he broke it down.
He says look, technically Ishould kill you, but I've been
watching you and I've always hadthis about me, where people
were fond of my personality.
That was different.
And now I realize what it was.
It was the spiritual practicesthat were in, rooted in, but I
(14:56):
didn't know it at the time.
And so he's like, hey, I'mgonna do this, but you know what
this means.
You know where this is going tochange your relationship.
He says but if you're willingto go there, put your money on
the table.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Now wasn't he risking retaliation from your dad by
cutting that deal with you?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Not necessarily, because see in the streets, you
understand there's a part wheremoney take that and that's what
we hear about all the time.
You know how money corrupts,how money changes the way we do
things, how we allow money toinfluence, and so from that
perspective it was like well,the money was there.
So from a street perspective,he had his money, his money was
together and as far as he wasconcerned, that conflicts
(15:34):
between you and your dad.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
He didn't really care where the money came from.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah, and that's how it works.
He's like hey, this is betweenyou and your people.
As long as you're good here,we're good.
I have nothing to do with whathappens once you walk out of
this door.
And sure enough, I got thephone call.
I'm sure he called your dadright away.
Oh man, I got the phone call.
What happened from there?
Man, my dad put a hit out on me.
What does that mean Exactly?
I defied all orders.
He put a hit out on me like,hey, bring him to me dead or
(16:00):
alive.
I had a bounty on my head by myown dad.
And so this played out for abouttwo or three years we would see
each other in the streets, atlights He'd pull out a gun, I'd
pull out mine or at the templehe'd see my mom.
And it got real when he told mymom one Sunday he saw her in
front of the temple.
They both went on a Sunday andhe told her he says hey, when I
(16:23):
see your son, I'm killing him.
And she cried and she didn'tknow how to tell me that.
He told her those words and Iwasn't even mad that he said he
was going to kill me.
The fact that she shed a tear.
From that point forward, myrelationship with my dad it was
war, all out war, because onething that I did know through my
whole journey is that my momnever left me hanging, even
though my dad said things abouther and even though I was living
(16:45):
with him for a time.
My mom has always been, to thisdate, a spiritually loving,
compassionate, kind person.
You know she had her challenges, her drama, her stories, always
practiced what she preached.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Had you developed that trust in your mom at that
point.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Because earlier you say you did not trust your mom.
No, at that time I haddeveloped it, but I didn't trust
her because she had to turn mein, where I was admitted to the
mental hospital when I was 16for an incident that happened
between my dad and I, and I toldthe therapist and the therapist
asked me well, would you everhurt your dad?
And I said, yeah, I'm angryenough to hurt him.
She says, well, how I said,with this Glock that I have on
my hip and with this Glock thatI have on my hip, and at that
time I just I'm thinking thatI'm just being able, I'm like
this is my cousin, you be honest, right, and I didn't know.
So she, you know, as soon as Ileft out, she hit the button and
(17:31):
so my mom gets a phone call.
It's like, hey, your son isarmed and dangerous.
You got less than 24 hours toturn, put in a padded robe and
being a straitjacket, andthrough all this whole story and
everything we're talking about,the only thing that I can tell
(17:53):
you that was really wrong withme was just that I was hurt,
deeply hurt, and abandoned, likeI didn't feel, like I had
anybody.
That was it, but just fromthose two feelings I was able to
fuel myself in a way that mademe dangerous.
I was a different kind ofdangerous.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Between you and your dad was one of you bluffing Like
why didn't, why did it take solong, like you said, two or
three years?
You guys were chasing eachother around like Pacino and De
Niro and Heat.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, what happened was I realized I was the first
person that was able to getbehind my dad's card.
Like I was the first one thatactually got to see him see him
Right.
No one else could get closeenough to he.
Never let anybody get closeenough to him to really read his
true demeanor.
I figured it out going totherapists being locked up in an
institution.
(18:50):
I learned a different psychologyand so I was able to get inside
.
And once I was able to getinside his head, I was like, oh,
you're a normal human beinglike everybody else.
You just have a damn good mask.
And once I figured that out,for me it was now.
It was joy, because I'm likeall those years what I watched
you do to my mom, so I actuallylet it carry on thrived off of
(19:15):
letting my brothers and sisterssee how I would put my dad in
this state of fear because hetold my older brother like I
think I created a monster and hedidn't know how to turn me off.
But then you know it gets goodto you, right, the intention was
to do this, but then there'sthat power that comes with it.
Then there's this the voids ofthe hurt and the suffering.
I started feeding that throughour interactions, through the
(19:38):
fear that I saw in him.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
So all that is happening in the background?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You're 19 years old and you're in your apartment
with your girlfriend or somewoman you were dating, or what
was that?
How do you explain thatrelationship again, because it's
very complicated.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Yeah, me and this young lady.
As you fast forward to thismoment that you're getting ready
, we're getting ready to dropinto.
I had a team this young ladywas as you fast forward to this
moment that you're getting ready, we're getting ready to drop
into.
I had a team.
This young lady was part ofthat team and I compromised, I
broke one of the protocols, Ibecame intimate with her and
then we shared that space From aperspective, you usually don't
(20:16):
mix that, because it can turninto something where either you
compromise or you find yourselfin a situation where you let
your emotions get in the way ofthat lifestyle.
So that's what happened and mydad.
At this time we didn't reallyresolve our issue, but we
understood that if we worktogether, we could do far more
greater things than fight.
(20:36):
And so somehow, naturally, weended up getting back in flow
and we joined forces and hecalled me to go pick up
something, to see something.
And I remember telling him likelook, but I always had this
thing, like man, I shouldn'tmess with him.
And I did.
And so my dad called and heasked me to come, and I told him
(20:58):
.
I said, hey, look, the timethat you're asking me to come
doesn't look good, you know.
I let him know that where I was, the situation I was in, I'm
like this don't look good for meto be getting up and leaving at
three o'clock in the morning.
I'm like, can we do this at adifferent time?
He's like, no, do it now.
And so at this time you know myrelationship with the young lady
(21:28):
intelligence was so low that Iwasn't even able to read signs
that I was hurting this woman orthat she was upset.
And she told me she says well,you leave, stay at that woman's
house, don't come back.
And I'm like I couldn't tellher because at the level of the
game I was playing, you neverdisclosed when you picked up or
dropped, because that's howpeople get hit, robbed, killed.
And so I had to make up a storyand I was trying to tell my dad
(21:51):
.
I said, hey, I got to get back.
Well, he didn't honor what Iasked and so I ended up staying
out all night.
Stuff wasn't ready until thenext day and so I came back.
In her mind, I was out with afemale and I remember coming
back and I was so excitedbecause I was like I got what I
needed.
But she was pissed.
And again I told you I was sodisconnected from my own body,
(22:11):
my own emotions, my own feelingsthat I didn't even register.
Hers were completely irate, shewas hurt.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
And this is before cell phones.
You couldn't text.
No one was texting anybody,right?
It's just you had pagers orsomething, I'm assuming.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
No, no Cell phones were there.
This is right around that erawhen StarTech, we just got into
the digital phone.
It was the basic digital phone.
What happened was it didn'teven matter, it didn't matter.
She told me, if I left anddidn't come back, that's what
she was going to believe.
And so I remember coming backinto the house and she was
(22:46):
pissed and she started tellingme how she felt.
And I just looked at her and Iwas like, well, look, you can
think what you want to think.
This is where I'm at.
This is what I did.
And the conversation it justshifted.
And I remember her telling meyou know, I'd kill you.
Part of me was like shit, goahead.
Like really, like I really waslike it's cool.
But then another part of me waslike I didn't want to die, but I
(23:07):
wanted to challenge it.
I was so angry inside and sohurt that I would challenge any
situation that could have takenme out.
And so I told her do what yougot to do.
So she went in the other room,grabbed a gun that I had in the
drawer, pointed it at me, andwhen she realized she looked me
in my eyes, and when sherealized that I was what we
would say oh heartless or coldhearted.
(23:28):
It scared her because she's gota gun pointed at me and I
showed no reaction, and so, onceshe realized that that's what
happened, she tried to uncockthe gun, but didn't know how,
and so, when she was loweringthe gun, it went off, hit me in
the lower abdomen and the bulletexploded inside of me and
(23:50):
ripped through my femoral artery, and that's when life shifted
for me completely.
I had an experience thatchanged my life forever.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
When she had the gun pointing at you.
What was your mindset in thatmoment?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Well, when I looked down the barrel of the gun, I
was like this could be quick.
In my mind I'm like if she doesthis, it's going to be quick
because she's pointing right atme.
Right, I'm just like how fastwill it happen?
And then I'm like part of me islike, like I said, I was so
empty.
I'd been carrying so muchheaviness that I didn't think
that she had the guts to do it.
But I also was open.
(24:19):
I was just open to theexperience.
I didn't run from it and Ifound that to be very
interesting in that moment.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
What does it feel like to get shot?
Speaker 1 (24:28):
What does it feel like to get shot?
Well, I got shot with a .38caliber, long-grained.
So it would be the SaturdayNight Special edition.
That's the one that you usuallysee the police officers have in
their bootstrap in all themovies that backup.
And if you wonder why theyalways use that as a backup,
(24:48):
because it's a powerful caliberpistol, the long grain.
And when it hit me it felt likea semi truck hit my body, like
I was up against a wall, and inthat moment I remember thinking
wow, we definitely could havehad a conversation about this.
thinking wow, we definitelycould have had a conversation
about this.
I was like, shit, we could havetalked about this.
(25:10):
That was the first thought,like when it hit me.
I was just like, damn, we couldhave talked about this, we
definitely could have workedthis one out.
And then I don't know why, like, but I saw the look and hurt in
her face for the first time andI instantly had compassion.
I was like, damn, oh, a part ofmy hurt.
I saw it in her.
So now I'm like, wait, it'sstarting to make sense what's
(25:32):
happening here, because I canregister now where I'm at
through the look in her eye andshe was horrified that she did
what she did and so she decidesto turn the gun on herself.
I'm like, whoa, wait, wait,wait, wait.
I said hey, hey, hey.
In my mind I'm like wait, youcan't kill yourself, because if
I make it and I can't explainwhy you're dead, I'm not going
(25:52):
to prison like this, not in thiscondition.
I'm not going to prison at all.
This is what I'm telling myself.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Are you on the floor?
Are you on the couch?
Did you get knocked back?
Like well, what's?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
your.
I'm twisted up in the middle ofthe floor laying in about two
inches of just hot blood and I'mbleeding.
And I knew in that moment Isaid, damn, this isn't like the
movies.
I said this is it From going toschool and understanding a
little bit about anatomy andgoing to class and studying the
body.
And then I used to watch a lotof war movies and I remember
Private Ryan when he got hit inthat artery, and so I instantly
(26:24):
I started thinking.
I said I can't panic and I knewthat if my panic the heart rate
goes up, I'll bleed faster.
I'm in the inner city, there'sno telling when the ambulance
would be here.
So I got to go to work onmyself and so I remember putting
my finger in the hole and toput my own finger in my own body
.
Shit just got real.
I connected.
It was a connection with myselfnow and I'm like man, here it
(26:46):
is.
And then I just startedthinking I don't have time to
cry, I don't have time to thinkabout all this shit that could
have, would have, and I was like, all right, I need to connect.
And I remember meditation.
My mom would meditate, my dadwould meditate In the Hare
Krishna movement, meditation waspart of the practice.
So I had my first realmeditation by default, because I
was trying to just calm down soI could prolong this bleed out
(27:10):
situation that was happening.
And in that moment I remembertelling her I said, please just
give me a minute, step back, I'mgoing to close my eyes, but I'm
not dead.
She didn't understand thatbecause meditation wasn't
something that you heard in thestreets.
So when I closed my eyes shethought I was dying.
And so I remember I keptsmacking me like wake up.
And I'm like.
I was like, hey, step back,like give me a minute.
I got to connect with God.
(27:30):
I was like I got to make sometransitions here.
If I'm going to go, I didn'twant to go out, right, if I in
my mind was I can't die in thisspace of fear, panic or remorse,
like feeling bad about myself.
I said, if I'm going to go out,I need to go out in a state, in
a higher consciousness of allthe stuff that I was taught
through the Bhagavad Gita.
(27:51):
I need to raise my vibration.
I at least need to die in a Godconsciousness.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
You probably sounded like you were hallucinating to
her and you closing your eyesand talking about God.
That probably made her thinkyou were about to die.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I couldn't understand that Because she knew about the
temple life, you know, becauseI was gone every Sunday.
That's when I went into thatdeep state and I had the
conversation.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Was there pain at that time during that
conversation, or had youtranscended the pain I?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
transcended everything from the physical,
material plane.
The feeling, the space that Iwas in.
It was that place I alwayswanted to be.
It was that feeling that Ialways wanted to have from my
mother, from my father.
It was that love and thatcomfort that I always wanted to
have.
And I had it in that moment.
And I knew, but I didn't know,if I was dead or not.
(28:37):
I just knew that nothing hurt.
Everything felt amazing,amazing.
It was the most beautifulfeeling I ever had and I went
from literally burning alive tothe most beautiful love, felt,
harmonious space.
And I remember talking to god.
I said, hey, god, well, this isit, you know.
I apologized and I was like, asgood as this may be, I said
(29:01):
what, what about my mom?
I remember I just kept thinkingabout my mother.
I said what about my mom?
I've never seen her waver inher faith and her belief in her
teachings this whole time.
And I said, so you can spare mefor my mom's sake, please.
But if you can't, I understand.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
That was Arjuna O'Neill describing the plot
twist in his life story.
To listen to the rest of thestory, go to episode 111 in the
archive.
We'll link to it in the shownotes as well.
This was one of the richeststorytelling episodes that I've
had on this podcast, so it'swell worth going back and
(29:37):
listening from the beginning andalso to see what happens to
Arjuna after he got shot.
And if you want to see whereArjuna is today and what he's
been up to, you can find him onthe socials at Arjuna,
underscore O'Neal, which isA-R-J-U-N-A underscore O-N-E-A-L
.
And if you know anyone who'smaking the world a better place
(30:00):
and they also had an incredibleplot twist in their life email
me your guest suggestions atlight at light Watkins dot com.
My other ask is that you take afew seconds to leave a rating or
review for the show.
You hear podcast hosts like meask listeners like you for
ratings all the time, becausethat's how a lot of the bigger
(30:21):
guests determine if they'regoing to come on to the podcast.
So it does make a hugedifference.
And all you do is you look atyour device, you click on the
name of the show, you scrolldown past the first five
episodes, you'll see a spacewith five blank stars.
Just tap the star all the wayon the right to leave a five
star rating and, if you'refeeling a bit generous, leave a
(30:42):
quick review about the show andthat will go a long way as well.
Also, don't forget, you canwatch these plot twist episodes
on my YouTube channel if youprefer to see what Arjuna looks
like as he's sharing his story,and don't forget to subscribe on
YouTube as well.
All right, I'll see you onWednesday with the next long
(31:02):
form conversation about anordinary person doing
extraordinary things to leavethe world a better place.
And until then, keep trustingyour intuition, keep following
your heart and keep leaning into those plot twists in your
life.
And if no one's told yourecently that they believe in
you, I believe in you.
(31:22):
Thank you so much and have afantastic weekend.
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