Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
What if your life was an invitation and everything wasn't
just happening to you, but through you?
When you start to believe in themagic of you, you become it.
This is your invitation to heal and rise above into the fullest
expression of you. This is the Liz Swaddick Show,
(00:24):
and your transformation starts now.
Let's begin. Welcome back to the Liz Swatuck
Show, where we celebrate powerful women stepping into
their purpose and transforming their lives.
And today I have the absolute pleasure of welcoming someone
very special. Me.
(00:45):
Why do I want to already start crying?
My client and my dear friend Mindy, I've had the honor of.
Oh, I'm going to have to do this10 times.
My God, Mindy. I've had the honor of coaching
Mindy for years, guiding her through some of the most deep,
most powerful work you can possibly do.
Healing the little girl within, transforming relationships and
(01:07):
stepping fully into her power. And now Mindy is bringing us her
own brilliance, her own brilliance to the world with her
new podcast called Call the Nurse.
So today we're diving into her journey, her transformation, her
evolution as a mother, as a wife, as a woman, and the
powerful work that has LED her to this moment.
(01:30):
Mindy, welcome to the show. Thank you.
I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. All right, Mindy, let's start
with this. Can you share with everyone
where were you emotionally, I mean, and mentally back when we
first started working together, right?
What was life like for you back then?
(01:51):
Well, it's interesting, you know, because us meeting with
our kids, becoming first boyfriend and girlfriend, I
think that us surviving that andafter that my daughter went
through some really challenging times.
I just been moving in with my now husband and so we were
(02:11):
navigating living together. My daughter just started going
through some really challenging things and I felt like I was on
this roller coaster of emotions of navigating her, trying to
help her, figuring out this new diamond dynamic living with my
fiance and are, you know, Co parenting and and stepchildren
(02:32):
and just kind of felt like I wason this.
I was letting kind of the the the world kind of guide me and
leave me and I was very all overthe place.
A lot of anxiety, a lot of a lotof just tears and crying and not
really knowing how I'm going to kind of navigate this.
It was a lot of great things, but there was a lot of really
(02:55):
intense things happening all at once.
Yeah, I, I remember that time when you had reached out to me
like, oh, I I'm curious about the work you're doing.
And and then you were like, am I, am I crazy?
Am I crazy to like want to even work with you right now?
Like, and you told me what was going on.
It was so much going on. And I remember being like, no,
(03:18):
actually, this is exactly the time you need to come because
you've got a lot going on and you need someone to help you.
So sort through it, to ground yourself, to write.
And it's the opposite of what women think.
Women think, Oh, no, my kids going off the rails.
I have things going on with my partner.
This is the worst time. It's like, no, no, no, this is
at that time. And I think that was the
(03:40):
exciting thing about what you did is that you started to
realize even then when you choseyourself, even just starting,
started to change things. Well, I remember seeing your
post and I mean, obviously we knew each other, our kids went
to school, but we didn't like talk about all of necessarily
these things. I remember seeing your post and
(04:00):
it was just talking about, you know, starting to live the life
you want to live and having likethis group of women that was
support. And kind of deep down I thought,
Oh my gosh, like I really need that.
I have friends. But there was something that was
really pulling me. But then like you said, on the
other hand, there's some really intense, deep, personal things
that were going on. Like, do I really want to get
(04:21):
involved in letting somebody else into my world?
But so desperately, there was something internally that I was
really craving what you were kind of talking about.
And so I remember messaging you going, OK, what is this?
Look at this. I feel like I need it in my
life. Who would have ever, I think
that was 2 1/2 years ago, Who would have ever in a million
(04:43):
years, think 2 1/2 years later like things are where they are
right now. Never would have dreamed it
wasn't what I was anticipating it all but wow, so grateful.
This is the point where I say there is no evidence in your
current life of the future capability, 100 percent, 100%
living proof of this. India is living proof of this.
(05:06):
So what was the biggest turning point for you in our work
together? Was there a moment or a
breakthrough that you really feel like was the kind of
turning point that changed everything?
Well, it's interesting because Ifeel like through some of the
work, even in the first year, because things were so chaotic,
you know, I kind of felt like I was kind of in, but not like
100% in. I wanted to connect, but I would
(05:29):
be just a mess, you know, I would come into groups just
sobbing, crying and but I think there were just moments we were
going through different things, talking about boundaries,
boundaries and relationships or boundaries within our own life.
I'll never forget you saying, you know your kids on a roller
coaster. Don't get on the roller coaster
with her. You can buy a ticket, you can
observe, do not get on the roller coaster.
(05:51):
So I remember that really applied in a lot of things, but
there was 1 instance particular and there was some things Alan
and I were going through. And I'm such a people pleaser by
nature. I just, I mean, that's a whole
other show. But I just was always trying to
make sure his life was, you know, good.
And we got to make sure the parents are good and our kids
(06:11):
are good. And I remember feeling really
empowered by some of the work wewere doing.
And I remember him, and I have areally intense conversation one
day, and I just looked at him and said, that's just not going
to work for me. Like, that's just kind of a
boundary I got to have for myself.
And I remember being so nervous.Not that I was afraid of him.
(06:32):
I just was such out of my comfort zone of people pleasing.
I just thought, yeah, I can't dothat.
That's just really not going to work for me.
And kind of sitting back wondering, how is he going to
take that? And then watching him turn and
go, OK, all right, that makes sense.
(06:53):
I thought that it's it's that easy.
Like all I had to do was like speak up for myself and say,
this is just not going to work for me because I didn't like the
way it made me feel internally. And I thought, if I keep saying
yes to these things to people, please, I'm going to be
miserable. Me and him probably won't work
out and I'm going to be a nightmare to everybody else in
(07:14):
my life. I was so shocked that once I
started really saying no to things or no to things that
didn't really feel good inside to me.
Where there's a commitment to, you know, an event or things he
was wanting to do in our life orsomething as simple as what
counters we're going to have in our House of like, you know, no,
I don't think that's going to work.
(07:35):
Watching him shift into what I was needing, that was, I think a
really major turning point because then I thought, does
this work with like everybody? If I start having boundaries
with my kid and I start having boundaries with my family in a
loving way, well, I just, it really, really made a
difference. And I think if you asked my
(07:56):
husband that, he would probably say the same thing, that that
was a major turning point for me.
It's funny, but we're talking about boundaries, right?
I think a lot of people think boundaries are like, hey, I'm
going to give you a boundary. Like, you know, they're just,
they're so they think boundarieshave to be ugly.
And when you're right, when you set it with love, yes, when it's
coming from a place of I and youdon't, you don't have to say
(08:17):
this out loud, but I love myselfso much that I, I'm going to
tell you, I don't, I don't like this design of this kitchen.
I don't want to go out tonight. I don't want to live in that
house. I don't want to have dinner with
your mother. Like, it could be anything,
right? Like, yeah, when you're willing
(08:37):
to really say the things and sayit with love, the other person,
you know, it's it's it he he took it very well.
I felt, I felt like he really started realizing, like, Oh,
well, this is, you know, I can'tjust make these decisions
without thinking it's going to mean something to her.
Yeah, I that's exactly what I told him that day too.
And the words coming out of my mouth to say, I literally said
(09:01):
to him, I'm like, I love you so much, but I love myself more
right now because I would be betraying how I feel inside to
say yes to you, to this, you know, scenario.
And I think kind of in a cultureright now to where, oh, we got
to have boundaries, boundaries. And I think we do kind of take
them to a whole other level. But I think when they're done
(09:21):
right and they're done with love, it actually helps that
person feel even more loved. And then what you feel inside,
you're like, wow, I really stoodup, up for myself in a loving
way, and it actually brought he and I closer.
Absolutely, absolutely. You've done deep.
We've like done this deep littlegirl work together, healing old
(09:41):
wounds, reclaiming your voice. Can you talk about how that work
has impacted your relationships,especially with your husband and
your daughter? Yeah, I think there's this when
you talk about little girl. And I think when we started that
work too, it's like, Oh my gosh,the emotions kind of stick.
You know, I'm an only child and really, for the most part was
just me and my mom. And to go back and to think
(10:05):
about how that little girl felt in different ways.
I feel like when you start to heal the little girl, at least
for me, it helped me have compassion for my own daughter
because she is a little girl andI thought if I behave in a way
to her that I wish somebody would have treated me and kept
(10:27):
me safe and loved me. It helped me look at her
differently. It actually helped me look at my
husband differently too, becausein that same scenario, when I
was having these boundaries withhim, I literally looked at him
and said, I see a very scared little boy right now.
And tears even welled up in his eyes because it's so deep.
(10:48):
There's so many things that are,are there.
I was able to look at him with different eyes, not mad, not
angry at the situation that was presented, but I really saw him
as a little boy just being afraid of whatever decisions we
were making. I think it's helped me even have
compassion for my mom, you know,knowing my mom did the best she
could. She has her own little girl that
(11:10):
she maybe hasn't dealt with. And it's just helped me see my
family, especially my husband and my daughter, through
different eyes. And when I started taking care
of this little girl inside of me, I was able to now look at
them very differently and handlethem very differently because
they each have that little kid inside of them as well.
(11:32):
Yeah, absolutely. How has it?
Has this all, all of your work really affected your husband?
Because we talk about this all the time.
I feel like, I feel like a lawn is like with us.
I feel like. He's like the poster child of
our group, Yes. No, but he I mean he's been at
dinner with you and and you mentioned, you know, wise women
collective or doing limitless and he will look across and tell
(11:53):
somebody you should do this. I mean, he has been such a fan
of you doing this work and it's changed so much.
So what is that? What?
How has it evolved from from where we began to now right
connection look like now? Yeah, again, when I said 2 1/2
years ago, if I would have ever imagined even just how different
(12:13):
he is, I could have never dreamed it.
And if, you know my husband, he's a very intense, you know,
very hard working orthopedic surgeon.
He can come across a bit intimidating, but, you know, he
has this part of him that is a very, you know, soft inside.
I just feel like when I started showing up for myself, saying
(12:35):
things that I genuinely felt again, with love and respect,
not out of this anger. And I think there's a big
difference. Women will be like, I'm going to
have boundaries with my husband.I have always said, and Elan
even says you got to write a book on how to getting men to do
what you know, they're women want because there's a way to do
it just based upon how you behave with them.
(12:57):
It's really nothing. They really have to actually,
you know, do I just feel like he, I always say it like I
started shifting and rising and he just started kind of rising
with me. He started listening to me
instead of getting defensive on issues we may have.
I was able to communicate in a way again, taking care of that
(13:19):
little girl and not making senseto him.
OK, Now he's just super supportive.
I mean, we're even doing this group.
And then it can be like, how much are you paying for this and
what are you doing now? It's like whatever you are doing
there, keep doing it because it's shifted our entire family
dynamic, not just him. Because I feel like the changes
(13:42):
I've made have now shifted into him.
Even his own kids will say, wow,our dad is such a different dad
these days. Like he's totally changed.
It's this trickle down effect that I think has and even, you
know, with his own family, you know, there's all these cultural
dynamics and, you know, therapy and these things aren't
necessarily accepted. And it can come across, oh, our,
(14:05):
our family member is so different and it can feel very
foreign to them. But he's becoming a better
version of of himself. And I think when he started
seeing how his own family and his own friendship started
changing as he changed, the evidence was even more so.
And his family dynamic is so different now.
(14:28):
His relationship with his kids, his relationship with his
ex-wife, everything is so how hetreats my daughter.
You know, everything has really shifted all because I started
changing the way I interact withhim.
That's really the, I think the miracle of this, of this all,
Yes, I've healed, but to watch entire family dynamics change
(14:51):
all based upon how you show up, it's, it's literally life
changing for everybody involved.Yeah, and I think that's the
ripple effect, the trickle down effect.
You're calling it the ripple effect of you know, and I think
when people come to me, sometimes they come to me and
they say my problem is the husband, my problem is the
(15:12):
daughter. And I'm that's I hear what
you're saying. And yet.
We're going to focus on you. I used to get I used to actually
get annoyed. I used to get annoyed at you
like no, you don't understand, like he's or my daughter is is
this way. You know, she she's doesn't
think she's not a neurotypical kid and you would just be like,
OK, but the only thing you can change is you.
(15:35):
And I thought, but I am, you know, I just you don't it's.
Hard to believe too it. Really is until you see it
happening and it doesn't happen overnight and then you start
looking back and going, you know, wow, like that, the talk.
I I'm Lana, I was just talking about something the other day
out here. I'm out here in Florida because
(15:55):
we're kind of always everywhere.Just a conversation with him and
how much depth that had. I couldn't have even imagined
having that conversation two years ago and he brought it up.
I just thought, wow, that's really like, it made me tear up.
I said I'm so proud of you. Deeper conversations.
(16:15):
I feel like he's looking for ways to connect with you.
He is so interested in what you're doing and who you're
becoming and he more and more and more he is.
And I think that's so fascinating and he's looking for
like where he fits into it all and he wants to be a part of it.
And you got to think about that from kind of feeling like you're
(16:37):
fighting your partner or you're kind of trying to figure out
where you fit in in the mix to having your partner just coming
towards you and want to be a part of everything.
It's such a different experienceand it's not because you asked
for it. It's because you gave yourself
what you needed and you poured into you, and you took that time
and boundary and space to heal, to feel however you want to
(17:01):
feel, to realize your legacy. And then all of a sudden, here
comes this man right there. I went into it hoping that I
could just not be crazy anymore and not just be cuckoo.
And it's helped me be a better mom.
It's helped me be a better wife.Ilana and I were not married at
the time when we started this work.
(17:21):
I, I do not believe we would be married today had I not been
doing this work with you and this group that we have.
It's helped me be a better daughter and it's helped me
really be a better friend and it's helped me really be at ease
too. Because then you start
evaluating your relationships and who you surround yourself
with in the energy, who is goingto be worthy of your own energy
(17:46):
and time. Because I think that's really
important too. I think you call it energy
vampires, right? Like we can all have those in
our life. Yeah.
Yeah, and I probably was one of those too, to talk to people
until I started doing this work and really working on me.
That's a great, great point, Mindy.
(18:06):
We all are that. Yes.
When we're looking outside, thatthat goes for everyone, Mindy.
I mean, when you're looking outside, I, I was one, I, I
absolutely was an energy vampirewhen I was looking outside
myself, blaming anything I couldand, and just continually trying
to find the answer outside myself.
I was not only exhausting myself, I was exhausting every
(18:30):
single person around me. It was only when I really took
radical personal responsibility for my life, when I really said
no. It's all on me.
That's the birth. That's the birth of your power.
That's that's the seat of where it all begins.
When you started doing that and saying, you know what?
I can't change my daughter. I can't change my husband or my
(18:51):
boyfriend at the fiance at the time.
I can only change me. I, there's, I can't control the
these things in the world that are going on.
All I can do is turn inward and say, what do I need to really,
you know, to, to heal and to feel good and to be able to be
in the world in the way I want to be here.
Yes, I think it's probably been one of the biggest things
(19:14):
probably even recently and I I obviously haven't arrived.
I think it's something I'll probably always battle with some
degree is especially being an only child, you know, not really
having a dad, even though my stepdad raised me all these kind
of dynamics, I always craved family, right?
And so I like, I couldn't wait to marry into this Jewish
(19:34):
family. They do Shabbat and they and it
just didn't work out the way that I had hoped.
It's just, you know, it was justdifferent.
And I think I drove along crazy trying to just force this, but
I'm family and I'm and I were married young.
Let me in there. Like let me in.
How can you not love me? People love me.
(19:54):
Why don't you love me? Why?
How can other people not love me?
But shifting that into looking into this little girl that it
was a a wound for whatever reason.
And I'm really even said this tome the other day, like, but
you've created your own family. The more I was looking to him,
(20:16):
his family. Or all these externals to fill
this family void. The more I was isolating him
from me, everybody else. And once I started kind of
getting secure and like, hey, wehave our family and yes, my
daughter's got her issues, but this is my little girl, my
ex-husband and I have a great relationship.
I have my mom not looking to make everyone, everybody else to
(20:39):
make me feel better, that is. And you really do think that if
somebody can, you really think that your husband can?
Or if my mother-in-law treats medifferently, I'm going to feel
better. But the reality is that's not
true. Yeah, anytime we're saying when
I get this, I will feel that's when, you know, when my husband
(21:00):
does this, then let me feel this, That's when you're like,
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show notes. Well, let's talk about this
(22:54):
incredible podcast that you're launching, Call the Nurse.
I'm so excited about this podcast.
So let's talk about Call the Nurse.
What inspired you to launch thispodcast?
What has been this process? I mean, I know because I've been
in it with you, but what has this process been like
emotionally, creatively, practically?
What you know, what fears came up like tell me about this
(23:14):
process of coming to this podcast.
Well, I, you know, I do want to obviously give credit to Elon as
well. I think through this whole
process, he just kept saying, God, you got to write a book.
Like you've got to, you got to talk to women.
You got to the podcast wasn't even on my radar, but I really
feel he has always told you, oh,you got to be a life coach, life
coach. What in the world is that?
(23:36):
I know he really has been like my biggest.
Make my job easier I love. Him, I know, right?
But I feel like when you know, he would say those things, I'm
like, oh, he's just biased. I feel like the work that we
were doing and I'm part of this amazing Wise Women collective,
even with you, where you have these women that we just talked
about dreams and our strengths and our weaknesses.
(23:59):
And I've always felt a need. You know, I was in the full time
ministry many moons ago and I knew I love to help people, but
then I came a nurse. And so I love helping people.
It's always been a very common theme.
But I think as I started doing this work with you and then in
this group, I really started thinking like, wow, I want to, I
(24:22):
want to talk to women about thisbecause I never, I think I said
this to you. I, I never really shared a lot
of personal stuff on my like social media when it came to
especially my daughter, it was very private and I wanted to be
protective of her. But one day somebody said, Oh my
God, your Instagram is so fabulous.
And it like, like, it bothered me.
Yeah. Because I thought I don't.
(24:43):
Even know what's going on in my.Oh my God, you have no idea.
I like pride myself to sleep worrying about my kid last night
or I just dropped her off in Utah because, you know, all
these issues and I thought, I feel like not that it's
everybody cares about my life, but I thought I need to be a
little bit more raw and not giving this impression that the
life is just one big gala and vacation after another because
(25:06):
no one really knew what was really going on in, in the, you
know, in the background. And the more I started opening
up, especially when it came to my daughter, the people that
would reach out to me. Oh my gosh, I I have this
out-of-the-box kid. Oh my God, what did you do?
How are you feeling? Or I would talk about, you know,
our, our marriage or something that was going on in family.
(25:29):
The amount of people that would reach out to me.
I thought maybe we have something here.
And then talking with you. I'm like, how do we what, what
can we do with this? And you really were like, I
mean, you, you were the, I called you the wind beneath my
wings last night. Like, yes, but I feel like how
(25:49):
many women have that to where you have people in your corner?
A lot of times there's this jealousy or there's the you and
this group of women that I have in my corner really just gave me
this confidence that podcast, like it's not going to just stop
there. We're going to do a book or
we're going to it really, reallyinspired me.
And eight months ago, nine months ago, we started talking
(26:10):
about this podcast and I was like, but who would want to
listen to me? Like, what do I know?
And I don't have a degree. I'm not a psychologist, but then
I thought, but I would want to listen to somebody who's been
through what I've been through. Like I don't want, I don't
necessarily want to hear from a therapist who doesn't have a
daughter who has struggled in the way that she struggled.
(26:30):
I mean, it's great. But to have somebody who has
gone before you and give you resources and tools.
Yes. I thought, oh, maybe, and I love
to talk. I, I'm, you know, always
enjoying doing that. So that's really how that was
born. And you really just gave me the
tools to do the, you know, I'd be like, how do I get this
started? How do you even start a podcast?
(26:51):
And you would always say, like, we will figure that out.
Like, let's just start. And we did.
And here we are 8-9 months laterand it's went, you know, Live
Today. So I'm very live.
Today and and that's what's so exciting too.
I think, you know, there's so much fear that comes up whenever
we're doing something new. Fear is right there, right?
Fear is like, Oh my God. And like all the voices, Oh my
(27:13):
God, are you crazy? Who's going to listen to this?
Why does someone don't think you're, you know what you're
talking about? I mean, just all the things that
come up when fear just arrives. But it's the messy action,
right? I'm like, no, we're just going
forward. We're just going to start naming
it. We're going to start, we're
going to start thinking about what this podcast is.
We're going to start, we're going to start booking guests
like, you know, we just that messy action.
(27:33):
And I watched you as we were taking the messing.
You were, your confidence was rising.
And then then now you're textingme.
OK, I'm ready. I got the I got the party.
You know, you're, you're, it's, I think it's so funny that
people think that confidence. Comes first, Yeah, not so first.
You think that? Right, The confidence comes from
(27:55):
the action, right? You take the action and all of a
sudden you go, well, bitch, I just said that like you feel so
good about yourself, right? Like I know that's right.
It goes up and down my body, butit really is.
I've watched you, you're a living example of that.
When you started taking that action, I just watched your
spine straighten you just like I, the text coming from you were
(28:17):
a different kind of text. I was like, look at this, right?
You were starting to drive the bus, right?
Like it was before. It was kind of me driving it.
Then you started driving at it. I was like, look at this.
I couldn't even believe it. Yeah, and you know, it's
interesting is that when you're getting afraid to do something,
especially if it's going to be public, you worry about the
three or four people that going to the haters.
(28:40):
What does she know what haters like?
It's amazing that who I would think about.
Well, I'm sure they're going to say whatever.
Once you kind of get over that, it's like, who cares?
What are they saying over there doing, you know, and at 46 years
old to start something new? You know, I'm a nurse.
I love my career. My husband and I have this plan.
He wants to retire in five years.
(29:02):
And I thought, OK, well, I'll just, you know, go along with
that. And I really have been a bad
way, but I've been living in Elan's world, Doctor and Tebby's
world. His retirement plan of in five
years, we're going to go here toTennessee and Florida.
But I thought, wait, I'm going to kind of disrupt that a little
bit and start something new at 46 years old.
(29:25):
So much life. And even texting Elan last night
and just saying, hey, look, it'sit's actually on Spotify.
Oh my. God, I don't know what makes me
emotionally just he's like, I amjust so proud of you.
And to hear those words, you know, and that's healing that
that little girl that's done allthis work, hearing that from
(29:46):
your husband that you've dreamedabout one day that you're going
to have this amazing relationship to say I'm so proud
of you. Like I'm doing that.
This is not something that he did.
I was even talking to my party planner.
I'm like, should we put a picture of Elon and I'll she was
no, this is your party. This is your podcast.
I love her. Yes, Thank you, Nicole.
(30:07):
Yes, yes, yes. Yeah.
So that's amazing. And you know what, I love what I
when we were coming up at the concept, I want you kind of to
talk a little bit more about theconcept of this podcast, because
when we were kind of talking about this, about what should
this podcast be? Because you know, you do want to
talk about your parenting of a neuro divergent, amazing
daughter and having to make really tough choices like
(30:27):
pulling her out of school and putting her in different places
and you know, and being in a blended family and how, you
know, it's been very hard because you again, you you were
like, here I come and they were like, not so fast.
And you know, and evolving your relationship with the lawn.
There's so many different thingsyou want to talk about, but also
you've been a critical care nurse for all these years.
And so you've had these kind of bedside conversations that are
(30:52):
so intense are so, I mean, life and death.
You've been with people when they died.
So tell us about the concept of this podcast, like what we're
going to be kind of hearing and listening and what kind of
things you're going to talk about.
Sure. Well, I love the concept of call
the nurse because when you're inthe hospital and you're laying
in the bed, when you have that call light, you're not calling
the doctor. You call the nurse and the nurse
(31:14):
is going to be what makes thingshappen.
And when I was wanting to talk about kind of life and what I've
been through, I noticed that at work, I started paying even more
attention that a lot of my situations with patients are
were really the same situations that we have in our own lives.
I mean, I've sat next to a womanwho was an alcoholic and her
(31:38):
crying, you know, because she wasn't, you know, home with her
baby and feeling, you know, guilty.
And then she literally died two days later.
And I just owe my heart. But I thought there are women
dealing with this stuff outside of this hospital.
And you know, I call them like acode red.
You know, the fire is the code red is the fire in the hospital.
We have fires in our life. You know, when I was going
(32:00):
through all this stuff with my daughter, like it was, it was
code red. It's like all hands on deck.
What are we doing? Or even a code blue, having a,
someone flatline our, our life stops sometimes, you know, our,
we may have somebody die or an event happens in your life to
where life just stops. And what is that spiritual
(32:20):
defibrillator, you know, that leads you back to life?
What is that? So I, there's so many parallels.
And then sitting on the edge of a bed, I'm kind of known at the
hospital because I always when I'm starting an IV or whatever,
I'm can I sit on your bed? And I'm some of my Co workers,
like that's our bro. She can't sit there.
And I thought, I need to be, I need to be eye to eye with them.
(32:42):
But but we need to do that with our kids at home, not stand over
them, you know, in their bed, sit down and talk.
So I feel like there's so many similarities that I feel like we
can talk about and a little bit of behind the scenes of people
don't know what code Reds and code Browns or, you know, Code
Blues, all these terminologies, RR TS.
(33:03):
They don't know what that is going on in the hospital.
But I'm going to take those concepts and apply it to real
life situations that we all go through.
And I think that will, I think alot of people will relate, but I
think there is this a part of itmedically that I think people be
interested in. Oh wow, I didn't know what a
rapid response team was and things like that.
(33:24):
So I think it's going to be really relatable to a lot of
people on many levels. Oh, so many levels.
And I love that that you're considered the queen of conflict
resolution at the hospital because I think that's also
something you've kind of broughtinto your, the new work.
You've also learned you brought that into your family and into
your life. And I think there's a lot of
(33:46):
people who are in a blended family and it is not working.
They have a kid who's going off the rails.
They're hiding it, which you andI both have kids that are, you
know, ADHD and all the things. And they've had a real, my kids
gone to three high schools. I mean, it has been a journey.
And I used to want to hide that stuff because I felt bad about
(34:09):
it. I felt like, well, these people
are all like going to dances andthey, you know, they're having
like normal life. And I felt like my life with him
was so not normal. Now I know that it's a gift to
have a child like this because you are leading the way.
There's so many women who now I can coach around this stuff
because I have had that experience.
(34:29):
I am grateful for that. And it's the same thing for you.
So are you going to be talking about that?
Are you going to be talking about kind of like conflict
resolution? Like, I feel like that's some of
the things you're going to be kind of working through too with
people. Yeah, I think even, I mean,
listen, I came into a family where I had two step kids at the
time. I think we're like 10 and 12.
I mean, and going into that situation and really having
(34:51):
respect for the mother, right. And, and setting that foundation
and making sure that my step kids feel, you know, that I, I
respect mom and, and conflict resolution when it comes to, you
know, dealing with, you know, culturally different.
I, I'm, I'm Christian, my husband's Jewish.
There's those situations as well.
I think one of the biggest things is just even with our
(35:12):
kid, like you said, I had to really fight not getting on
social media of, of just feelingthe grief of, you know, not
seeing my daughter go to prom or, or go to homecoming and
really fighting through that. And the judgement of, oh, you
took your kid out of school or, oh, wait, she's where, oh, does
(35:33):
she have the like, that was really, really hard for me.
And, and fighting the judgement of, yeah, I had to take her and
we went to Utah. And you really have to like kind
of work through, you know, thosethings and be support for
people. And there's resources that I
didn't even know were even available.
I think that's something I really want to talk about.
(35:54):
There's so many resources for these kids that I don't think
parents even know. But yeah, we, the other day we
were at at work and the charge nurse called me and we had
pretty difficult patients and, and they said, did she have a
Mindy moment? Because she's very compliant
today. She's very, you know, very nice.
I thought she just needed somebody to come in and nurses
(36:16):
don't always have the time to doit.
But you see somebody come in, sit on her bed and say, OK,
honey, what? What?
What's going on? Why are we on this call like 20
times a day? Why do we?
And being able to resolve conflict without using a strong
arm of like, stop calling, stop this, stop that.
Again, we do that with our kids,right?
(36:36):
Sometimes I just need us to sit down and just say, OK, what are
we feeling? You know, and this woman broke
down and told me about her family, and she's just grasping
for control. And I think that's what we're
all doing, right, What we're alldoing.
And I find it's the same in a family with a kid, with a
husband. And I think we'll be talking
about all of those dynamics. And you know, I even say on the
(36:59):
trailer, I don't have all the answers, but I can tell you that
I've been, I've been through it.I've been through it.
I'll walk you through what I've been through and really try to
give the best guidance that I can.
Yeah, and I always feel like you're rooting for people.
You know, we root for each other, you and I, We may have
differences in some things, but we always root for each other.
We always have. And I think that's what is so
(37:20):
great about you. You root for people.
Like this woman is an alcoholic.Even she was making.
Obviously, you know, she was in the depths of despair, but you
were rooting for her even thoughshe was at the end, right?
It's like you just always reallyshow up for people.
What I want to know is you've been through this incredible
evolution. Personally, your relationships,
and now professionally, you're going through an evolution.
(37:44):
So what is the biggest lesson you feel like you've learned
along the way? And then I want to know, what do
you say to the woman who was youfive years ago?
Wow, that's kind of intense. What's your biggest
transformation and evolution youfeel like?
And then what do you say to the woman, the old, the old version
(38:04):
of you who's maybe listening to this right now?
Sure. I think for me the biggest
evolution has been that it's OK to put myself 1st and to invest
in putting myself in a position to work on me.
The third that that's OK that I put myself in a group of women
(38:28):
that really call me higher. Like I would even get a little
insecure sometimes when we wouldeven be in groups of like I
don't what do I have in common with these people, but I found
the more I was around women likethat, it made me come up even
higher. I think I let my insecurities
really get in the way of ever doing that before and not being
(38:49):
vulnerable, but where where I'm really at in life.
So I think that's probably been my biggest is really working on
myself and whatever that may be.For me.
It was it was this wise women group.
It was really committing to, youknow, doing coaching with you
and even the concept of a coach.I mean, again, five years ago,
(39:10):
what is what is a coach? You know what, I have a
therapist. I just I think we have all the
excuses in the world. I don't have time.
Oh, this is expensive or I went through all of those.
But when I really, really gave my heart, I that is when the
true, I think transformation came because I remember going
(39:30):
through the group and I was dealing with Haley and really
couldn't sleep and dealing with moving into a new home and then
having issues with in laws and, you know, navigating step kids
in high school and going to college.
I had every excuse in the book to not show up that day.
And sometimes I did. So once I really, really dove in
(39:51):
and allowed myself to open up toguidance from other people.
And then not only do you get guidance, you get inspired by
these all these other women. You're like, I'm sorry, like you
produced what, like what do I have in common with you?
But you're so inspired by these people.
So I, I think that's been my biggest transformation is really
(40:11):
doing. The work, not allowing my
excuses to take over, which I did probably that first year and
then five years ago, I just havebeen some really dark places.
Five years ago, no one ever knewbecause on the outside my
Instagram was fabulous, right? It was a lot of her, a lot of
(40:32):
stuff going on. So I would want to tell her like
that day, I why did I, I saw these posts from you.
What was in me to reach out and go, what are you doing?
Something was in me. I'm glad I didn't ignore that
voice. And I just think we as women
were we know deep down that we're searching for something,
(40:54):
whether it be, you know, just help.
Sometimes we're crying out for help or we're just looking for
something. We want to change careers,
whatever it is. I think we all have that little
voice inside of wait, you, you're curious about what that
is. I'm just, I'm glad I didn't
squash that voice. And even when I did feel like
backing out at times five years ago, I'm glad I just pushed
(41:17):
through. I mean, I remember in a really
dark place one day and calling you one day.
I would have never texted or called when I was having a
really low moment and you sayingI'm on a plane, but I'm with
you. Let's text through it.
Oh my gosh. And it was heavy stuff.
I just think for the woman who'ssitting there on her bathroom
(41:39):
floor or standing in her kitchenlooking at her husband, like I
want to strangle him or looking at their kids, like how do I
maneuver this these teenage years that there's there's
resources out there. It's not just a therapist.
There's other resources out there and not saying no to
yourself because once you do that, once you start taking care
(42:02):
of you, like the ripple effect is priceless.
And you can't see it. You can't see it.
You'll never imagine three yearslater, here I am.
I just have so much gratitude for and who would think it?
Now I'm dealing with career stuff.
I'm just glad to be afloat. I'm just glad to emotionally not
(42:22):
be sinking, but to do some really amazing things on top of
it, that's just the icing on thecake.
It is the icy hang the cake. And I think that's, you know,
you've gone from surviving to thriving.
You've gone from, you know, headjust like, you know, treading
water, just the head out of the water to really like gliding and
swimming and enjoying. And I think The funny thing is
(42:46):
it's not that there's no chaos. There's nothing bad ever
happened and like life's going to happen because you have
really found a way to navigate through and you now know that
prioritizing yourself is the wayyou do that, right?
That that that things can text can come in, things can be
happening and it's very easy to go right back into the drama
(43:06):
again, buy a ticket to that roller coaster and start going
upside down and going nuts, right?
But you just, you're so good nowbecause now you're like, wait a
minute, hold it. Yes, I have done this journey
before. I am not doing that again,
right? Like you really have a boundary
around that now. And you know what it takes,
right? So that's what excites me.
(43:26):
The most, Yeah. And I'm glad you said that.
I'm glad you said that. It's this is not just like
rainbows and unicorns all the time.
Well, situations are still happening.
None of that is necessarily likegoing and go away, but it's
happening. The resources and really
speaking out and really utilizing my crew.
And now I have a an incredibly supportive husband that knows
(43:47):
when I'm kind of about have you talked to your, you know, your
women about this? You know, if you have you
connected with Liz? Like I love that that that's
just where we are now, but the chaos is still going to come.
I just, I'm not going to jump onthe roller coaster anymore.
Yeah, because you're a differentwoman.
Yeah, you're not a woman. Who?
You. Roller coaster.
Yes. You don't.
(44:07):
That's not who you are. Mindy, thank you so much.
I've loved literally every second of this conversation.
I've loved. Every bit of it.
Thank you. So damn proud of you and I love
you and I'm so excited about this podcast, but watching your
transformation. Has been a privilege for me.
I wouldn't be here without you. I'm just beyond grateful, beyond
(44:28):
grateful. Thank you and you helped so
many. I'm just, I'm just so I'm so
excited about where you're headed and thank you.
I received that. But I know that everyone
listening is going to be so inspired by your journey and how
the powerful work you're doing, especially on Call the Nurse.
So everyone, if you have not subscribed to Call the Nurse
(44:49):
yet, what are you waiting for? Mindy is the real deal.
You will laugh, you'll cry, you'll feel seen in a way that
is rare and beautiful as you cantell because that's Mindy.
You need your Mindy moment. So you got to go over there.
So Mindy, where can everyone find you and connect with your
amazing podcast? I know it's on Spotify and it's
coming to all the platforms. By the time this releases, it
(45:10):
will be everywhere. But what's your and I'll put her
podcast link in the show notes, but what's your social media
that they can follow you on? Yes, it's going to be at Call
the Nurse podcast on Instagram, and yes, it'll be on Spotify so
you can like subscribe and it'llalso hopefully be on Apple and
all the other platforms very soon.
So we're just going to build, build and hopefully have all the
(45:34):
things where websites and the Sky's the limit keep you stated.
The limit, that is exactly right.
And I'm going to put also, Mindymentioned my group wise women
collective that she's an improv and some other things that she's
done limitless my signature program.
So I'm going to drop that in there for you too.
But thank you so much everyone for joining me and Mindy, thank
you. And to everyone listening,
(45:55):
remember when you heal, you riseand Mindy's living proof.
Thank you everyone. Thank you.