August 14, 2024 • 21 mins
Chandu Champion finds director Kabir Khan returning to 83 territory, for better or worse.
We talk about the film’s shoddy storytelling structure, its complete lack of interest in developing its protagonist, and its over-reliance on crutches like music and contrivances.
We also discuss Khan’s tendency to underestimate his audiences’ intellect and his inherent insecurity about his subject’s genuine achievements. Chandu Champion is another Hindi movie that shouldn’t get even a passing grade, forget the high praise that it has seemingly received.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:16):
Hi, I'm Akilera. And.
Welcome to the long take. This week, we're discussing
Kabhi Khan's new movie Shantu Champion, which stars Karthikar
in the lead as India's first Paralympian who won a gold
medal. Actually, incidentally, like
better time for It's like OTT release, then it's like
theatrical release, funny enough.
But anyway, yeah, what do you make up the We don't.
I think we're back on track after a big gap.
(00:38):
This is the kind of stuff that we usually talk about on this
broadcast. Yeah, it's like 83 on Oregon.
Yeah. It feels like a homecoming get
over finally I feel I have seen the rubber is bad but like have
you seen Chandu champion? I was like, I don't know, like I
think he may basically thinks like he made a great movie 83.
(00:59):
Like everyone was like showeringpraise on him.
He's like, let me just like, copy the format onto another
sports closet. Or I don't know.
Is this like full delusion? Is that what we are seeing right
now? Yeah.
Because like if you, if you get like that, kind of like praise,
then you're going to make something like this, only you're
not going to change yourselves. No, but normally these people
equate the box office with like quality, right picture.
(01:23):
Then that means that we feel theaudience.
Audience has rejected. I don't.
Remember what happened to 83? That one bombed but they've
blamed it on like COVID or something so I guess.
Whatever. Yeah, Yeah.
So I think, Yeah, so clearly, like, you know, that excuse, say
like convince themselves not their fault and you're getting
like whatever, like quote, UN quote, praise from like
audiences and stuff. So like, clearly we did a good
(01:44):
job. Which is what they've been
saying with this one also, this one Bond.
But there's no pandemic now to blame.
So they've just been going around telling everybody that ha
ha, everybody likes it. Yeah.
But like, I honestly like, if you like this movie, then.
But that's the problem, right? Like if we do like, we're not
going to do a low caring. It doesn't make sense.
But our fertility as well seems so like this.
(02:06):
That's baffling, right? So this is the same as did we
talk about Sam Bahadur? I don't remember.
No, I don't think so. OK.
This is basically the Sam Bahadur problem, right?
It's and it's becoming increasingly common in like
especially the biopic genre because what they do is there is
a sense of inadequacy for some reason that directors feel when
(02:27):
they're doing, you know, real life stories, They're like real
achievements. Caffeine a year.
We'll just have to like jazz. Things off into it.
Yeah, yeah. And also the narrative, like the
structure is the same in all these movies.
It's like mini scenes, right? Like it's just one scene after
another, which almost it's like a short film, like beginning,
(02:47):
middle end, beginning, middle end.
And it's just exhausting after apoint character.
Every second doesn't have to be like a life altering.
Yeah, just just recollecting someone's life doesn't make a
good biopic. I think someone used to tell
these. People, but I just he's been
doing this for a while. I don't know if you remember
that Amazon show that he made which was just.
(03:07):
Oh my God, that is, that is, that is the nadir of like Tami
Khan's career. And imagine like he's just like
he's. That is the narrative structure
that he has chosen to stick to. Yeah, and I can see still some
facets of storytelling that he did in that Amazon show the
Forgotten Army, which is still like visible here.
I'm talking more like on a technical level, you know, like
(03:29):
every time he like he needs a a scene to like you know what to
be felt bigger than it is. He's like background music
escort. Yeah.
Like, Tasu Bajao, like full amber Pero wrote the author and
lyrics download like, because the scene in itself, like, say,
like a scene, like, you know, when the brother is telling him
at the Bombay Hospital, he like,you know, you're better off
here. Just let the two guys just let
(03:50):
them be, talk to each other. Cry it out.
You don't need to put a song in to make me feel worse about it.
It would have been manipulative and contrived without the music
and imagine how bad it is with this music.
Yeah, this is the this is this is the number one problem with
like that Amazon show was like he couldn't wait like 3 minutes
before plugging in like the maintheme, whatever.
(04:12):
Like he had Cordon, a singer anda song to develop and
everything. She was like, it's like the.
Device is the same right like elderly person looking back on
like many and. Control C.
Control V. And it's almost like we spoke
about like, delusion, but like, imagine what level of, I don't
(04:35):
know, if it's like just being blind to the real world.
Just imagine the kind of overconfidence you must have to
open your movie with the scene in which that person you're
supposed to take seriously. Like the level of makeup on that
character is so shortly. And that is the first impression
that we get of your protagonist,right?
K On a technical level, this person is just a horrible
(04:58):
prosthetics job who per say exaggerated performance, who per
say he's demanding an award thathe did not get, which is a very
strange kind of like thing to make a.
Country into the movie, yeah. Is that the best way to
introduce this person, to make him seem like entitled or
something without us knowing what he has done?
(05:19):
Right? It's another thing.
I go to the Khadia picture and then be like, oh, I should have
won an award or something. I'm like, yeah, yeah, man,
you've done. Machine comes like say 2 words
into the movie. I'm like, yeah, I've seen you do
a lot, so maybe you deserve thataward.
Yeah, I imagine first scene, which I don't know, I guess
we're supposed to be in like Sharias Talpade's mindset in
that I have no idea it. Basically, yeah, you should be
(05:42):
able to be like, laughing with like and like who's the who's
playing the president? I forget.
Brijendra Kala. Yeah, yeah.
So like, you know, like you should be with them like
Massively the junior. Officers to Brijendra Kala for
essentially having him be like, Wikipedia for like.
Yeah, which is like nonsense. Like why would you like slot him
in that role and why would he was like say yes to that kind of
(06:03):
rule? I have no.
Idea. I don't know, he's like he's one
of the few people that I find quite amusing in Hindi movies.
Like whenever he pops up, I'm like, oh, interesting.
This person has always been something interesting.
But then yeah, just this is justlike a waste, you know?
But like I would argue that evenShreyas Thalpati is wasted or
yeah. Like why are these?
People there. But Speaking of, you know,
(06:24):
laughing at him, I could not figure out for like 2 hours, 20
minutes of this movie's runtime,what was the reason that this
person decided Kim Muji metal chitna, it can't say a.
Hero welcome. That's it, right?
That's that's all we're given. The all we're given is someone
got a hero's welcome. And it's like, this is amazing.
I want this. But Can you imagine how flimsy
that is? Like we're we're.
(06:45):
I forget flimsy. It's also like for a child
that's OK and to want fame on that level, but once you grow up
you have to want more, right? But I don't know, he's kind of
dedicated his life to, I don't know, being like a wrestler
initially. But then the weird thing is that
the movie wants us to think that, yeah, Bachara bullied
people used to call him Chandu Champion without realizing that
(07:06):
they're calling him Chandu Champion after he has decided
that I want to be an Olympic. They're mocking his like level
of ambition. Basically he's like, how can you
like dream so big when you have done nothing?
But that isn't the same as beinglike, oh, he was bullied and
that's why he wants to achieve. That's partially the reason, but
he decided he wants to achieve before he was bullied, at least
according to the chain of eventsthat you presented.
(07:28):
To us, I mean, yeah, we have to go by what they give us.
Right. It's very, very strange.
But then, you know, that's just an early indication of this
movie is just wall to wall ineptitude like which could
sense. Speaking of ineptitude, like in
that childhood phase, they introduced like Garth Garden as
the character way too early, right?
Because he's supposed to be like.
I was still in school, yeah. And I was like, why can't we
(07:51):
just get a third actor? Like if you want to show
progression, just get a third actor who would like play this
whatever. Like, you know, adolescent self.
He's like that guy does not fit.Like Karthe Garden is looking
like 2X everyone's age in that school and like this is not a
working guy. That was the only time I was
glad that this movie has like zero female presence because
imagine if I have like little girls around.
(08:12):
They were like. Like the decision, sometimes we
like, you know, film makers naked India.
Like just get another actor, it's easy.
But it was very weird. So even if you like do like
mental like acrobatics, they'll be like haha, you punch but
failed voice actually about failed work.
Even then, like he's like 6 feetfive or something as compared to
(08:34):
like the other children like ABC.
Which is like the I think movieslike this is the recurring thing
like most like about movies, especially in Kabhi Khan is like
show people like in maybe even if he knew English in real life
not they would take it away fromhim just because it makes the.
Movie funnier funnier, but I can't even.
I remember being so annoyed by all those.
(08:56):
You know that dosa segue in 83? Yeah, yeah, I remember even as
discount it was. So strange, the dosa, I think
there was one like just a deleted scene written all over
it. But like there was a scene in
one of the most crucial scenes in 83 was when Kapil Dev hits
that match winning knock, right?And it wasn't telecast and this
(09:18):
was the first time that someone's been like recreating
that match, etcetera, etcetera. Huge dramatic moment and Kabir
Khan chooses to frame it to the perspective of the guy who wants
to pee but can't leave because it's such an interesting which
was like like perfect encapsulation of his artistic
vision. But even this one, I'm like,
(09:41):
bro, so this person has from a little village.
If you on paper see a story froma little village, he has escaped
and he has made it to the army. Now he's going and representing
his country in Tokyo in a very, very serious competition.
And then you decide that, that you simply have to have a scene
in which his English is made funof on TV.
(10:02):
Yeah. What in the world is that?
Yeah, like why is there even a female character to begin with
is my question. Aren't there enough things going
around in that scene for him to like, need that unnecessary like
distraction? I didn't forget that like.
What does her achieve? It's not like that woman is ever
important in the movie again. She's forgotten like there's.
No other woman also like that isto the only woman and obit is
(10:24):
about the yeah, like so. It takes the credits and like
entire while when he's narratingin this police station, we see
his son because like how we introduce about female like love
interest and like it takes like the credits of the movie to say
he married some woman called Usha and had five children.
I'm like what? When were you going to tell me
(10:44):
this? The which is weird because the
movie also has like a romantic song sequence that happens in
the beginning. All the more romantic interest
has been introduced. But no, no, like, you know, like
plays like it doesn't fit at all.
They leave like Army one area, they're going to the other area
of Army and beach where train may just like song.
I'm like, yeah, hello, like. It's not only just a song, it's
(11:08):
a song about romance. Yeah.
I'm like, why? It's double of that seems.
Like make it about like, you know, like like they're going to
be like army man, they're going to be training.
There's like recruits, maybe something about that like their
nerves. There's sort of excitement, like
random like like producers. They we need a song about like
love, because that'll Bajiga radio based training service pay
to Hamne Yard Aldea. That is basically the thought
(11:31):
process and like, which is so annoying at this point. 24 I'm
like, this is not then you can'tcall this a film like you're
making a product. Yeah, Yeah, this is for sure.
This is like a star package, youknow, like, oh, we've got like a
very expensive director and you've got a very expensive star
and here's an inspirational story.
Whatever. It's just, I wouldn't even call
it like Cookie Carter, because Iwould like to think that the
(11:54):
world has moved on. You know the minute you have an
immersing Jamke line from mainstream Bollywood is when the
world has moved on, right? Because then that is the
mainstream Hindi industry being like we can make a biopic that
is not going to. Beat this like do hit hit every
beat of his life. Yeah, and use interesting
framing devices and use like techniques in a fun way.
(12:14):
Sure. It's none of that, right?
Let's say. Something right?
Like, imagine like a guy who's making ROM coms his entire life
is saying that freedom of expression is important.
Yeah. And like discussion, what is he
saying with this movie? Like what are you saying?
I mean from what the ending kindof shoehorns in, he's basically
saying K motley Kant ka story isequal to India ka story,
(12:34):
Tumhasogya, Mario, Abraham whatever achieve which that you
would not expect I from what I understood.
But the only ones being laughed at right now is the director.
Which, like the comedy, is a recurring thing in this man's
life. If any intends to be funny, it's
never funny. Doesn't It's hilarious because.
(12:56):
Like I don't even understand like this obviously is some like
obviously allowed creative lessons.
I have all foreign biographies. When you start taking career
license to like a whole new level, then you like stuff like
why do the boxing event in Tokyoin 1964 only?
Why can't you make it like one year here and there?
Because then at the same years in Olympics, and this guy's
Olympics fanatic, and somehow they never mentioned that
(13:16):
there's an Olympics happening inthe same year he's there in
Tokyo. Yeah.
No, but the Vulcan drivers is a shoe so they're not like when he
runs away from his village the first person that he happens to
meet is the person who tells himK bait to army join Curly and
the army like whatever recruitment is happening
happening the very next day. I'm like OK, that's like 3
contrivances in one scene. And then the next level, like
(13:38):
toying with the facts how that happens, like when he actually
like is about to reach his ultimate goal, he reaches the
Paralympics and then like, I'm like, hey, like, why would you
like more is that I have no idea.
Like, why would you? Why do you need unnecessary like
drama in a movie when you know you're like literally like
portraying something that never even happened?
He was not there. But that's what that's what I
(14:00):
was mentioning when I when we started talking about this
movie, right? Like, Oh dear, Dave, there's a
sense of inadequacy. They feel so insecure about the
actual achievements they. Talk about the Munich Olympics,
We have to mention the Palestine, Israel attack.
We have to, otherwise there's noway we can do it.
Which is fine. You mention it, but you
mentioned it in the background. Right.
I can't you mentioned it becausethe Paralympics happened like I
(14:23):
think 2 weeks before the Olympics go there or attack
happens one week into the Olympics.
So these the events of like him winning his swimming medal and
the attack are three weeks or. Four weeks apart, then there you
go. We don't need it at all.
Yeah. It doesn't need to be the
separate event like get on with it like.
It makes no sense. This is like the English thing,
right? Keep him at love.
(14:45):
Let him at least do an interviewin peace without having to
suddenly have the hurdle of having a translator present.
And even he doesn't know all that nonsense is just all.
Nonsense. Now it's like the first time
someone's ever taken an interview and they don't know
the language. Yeah, they're like, but he
interview English. Can you do it?
Yeah, yeah. I'm not spending there's.
(15:06):
Person in the army who can translate for him.
Like yeah, there you go, solved.Problem solved.
It's not a big deal. And but you know, this, this
reminds me of, I don't know if you saw that movie called Major,
which I don't think many people saw, but it was about the 4G who
died in the 2611 attacks at Taj.The person saw my dad watching
it. Yeah, so that movie, so the real
(15:27):
person, he died during the siege, right?
He went up and he was climbing the stairs, whatever, and he was
shot. Heroic of him to be there.
Everything in that movie, they present that character like some
sort of superhero like. Their own way in diet.
So there's an actual scene in which that character comes out
of the siege races to all the media that's like stationed
(15:50):
outside famously and lectures them about Tum Jo Dikhar sits
down with. The Indian Olympic Committee and
then there's a gives a whole lecture about like people who
are like disabled being left away.
And I'm like, I'm sure they knowthat.
I'm sure like 50 other people have told them that already.
Yeah, we can see the weird thingis, you know, like, of course
(16:12):
he, like he, he's paralyzed and everything.
But the movie immediately launches into this odd, like,
Munna bhai segment in the hospital.
Yeah, right. Which immediately takes the
emotional heft away, right. You're like, Oh my God, this is
a huge blow for him. His entire life, He just.
Spent like a long scene in Kashmir where like this horror
(16:34):
thing was happening to him and cut to him being like Oh yeah
he's going through this now likeRajpal Yad is going to do comedy
for. 10 minutes, Yeah. It's like a literal 90s movie,
which is what Rajpal Yadav wouldhave been doing back then.
Like. There's no progression for the
poor guy. But nearly.
But it's me. It's me beachment now.
There's like suicide things. Also the middle of the comedy
at. The same time when the suicide
thing is happening, they have tomake that also like somehow like
(16:56):
that scene funny so they have them gambling on this happening.
Exactly. Like that scene is equivalent of
like that dosa scene from Italy but.
You can't really point fingers at Kabir Khan for not being
ambitious because Beach may he tries to do like Sam Mendeska
1917 also in case you did not notice.
Why I have no idea, but he can enjoy our life.
(17:17):
But that is also an indication of.
I don't want to keep using the word delusion, but like that
movie was an achievement, you know, technically and to be like
sitting, sure. And with like a fraction of the
money and like more. Like CGI?
Yeah. And to think that many maybe
same, maybe somebody has to stepin and be like, Sir, let's be
(17:40):
practical. I'm not saying hey, but
infrastructure person here, at least tell him that obviously
it's not like you proved us wrong.
Wow, how could we ever doubt you?
No, it looks every two second comes up so that you didn't see
(18:02):
the cut because they were too short anywhere.
And anything else as chef to talk about anyone we've missed
because the movies like I basically like 7-8 different
scenes like and characters come and go and like different what I
was. Yeah, yeah, apart.
We was expecting that. The random Sadaji in the crowd
at the end of the swimming contest, I thought the movie is
(18:25):
obviously going to turn to him and be like Meg Karneel Singh, a
father who beta I could not havebeen.
From like a Yeah, one thing the Merida Band movie has like,
pointed you down to its level. You expect like things in every
corner like. Which is a sad part, right?
Because then you're like thinking on the movies like
Wavelength, you're like, oh, this could happen that.
Could happen. Also not like when the on the
(18:47):
radio, his brother and dad like listen to like, oh, he's
participating in the final, which like it's amazing that
they've never been told the start is like going to Munich
and participating in the Olympics.
But he can, if I like let you give you that.
They must like run across the village, run to home, tell the
mom and then the mom is like full backlit, full emotional,
like like about on tears. I'm like.
(19:09):
Only Michael Bacon get away withstuff like that.
Because the entire movie then his operates on that way with
it. This one is just because you've
also just told us that the family was completely unaware
about him for like 2 years rightafter he left.
They had no idea Kahampur and they had to be told that he was
in the war and he got shot and he got injured and he's been in
(19:30):
the coma for like so many years,right?
And then the next time we see him, see the family is them
basically the brother basically saying that you don't come home
because we can't afford to, basically your liability, right?
In kinder words, or not even as kind.
So in my head I'm like, oh, how terrible.
What a terrible family, you know?
And then in the end I'm supposedto be like crying on their
(19:52):
behalf or. At least like if they leave him,
they can keep in touch through letters now, like they kind are
there to be like how we're goingand even not keep in touch even
though we're in the same state. Like just write letters to each
other. Like why did they forget about
him? Like I don't know when the thing
late 60s or whatever he's like recuperating in that Bombay
hospital. So then and 72 he goes to the.
(20:13):
Like there's no combination between the family.
That's like you can't forgetting.
Germany ma but I. Won't tell you is just like
estranged at that point. Yeah, right.
So I mean they should for. You and they won't even write to
you from now. On and even Murtree Khan is not
like pining for his family rightever in his moments of solitude
like Meera ma meri kya Ki and I'm forced to stay away.
(20:36):
We aren't even shown that side of him.
So yeah, for for what We know he's like just.
Focus on the boys in front of him.
So I don't even understand why that perspective was shown to us
in the 1st place. Like Intel introduce them be
like they've turned their backs on him and they left finish.
You're already milking emotion from like 1500 directions so by
(20:58):
anyone there's no end to this. You can go on for like 6 hours.
Because I kept happy another scene.
It's just like by that choice though.
Literally, we've spoken about all this stuff, but like, we can
like, pick out scenes and be like, So yeah, I think this is a
(21:19):
good time to be like, like. Yeah, short shop and like move
on. Yeah, that's all for this
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will see you next week. Thanks for listening.
Hi, I'm Akilera. And.
Welcome to the long take. This week, we're discussing
Kabhi Khan's new movie Shantu Champion, which stars Karthikar
in the lead as India's first Paralympian who won a gold
medal. Actually, incidentally, like
better time for It's like OTT release, then it's like
theatrical release, funny enough.
But anyway, yeah, what do you make up the We don't.
I think we're back on track after a big gap.
(00:38):
This is the kind of stuff that we usually talk about on this
broadcast. Yeah, it's like 83 on Oregon.
Yeah. It feels like a homecoming get
over finally I feel I have seen the rubber is bad but like have
you seen Chandu champion? I was like, I don't know, like I
think he may basically thinks like he made a great movie 83.
(00:59):
Like everyone was like showeringpraise on him.
He's like, let me just like, copy the format onto another
sports closet. Or I don't know.
Is this like full delusion? Is that what we are seeing right
now? Yeah.
Because like if you, if you get like that, kind of like praise,
then you're going to make something like this, only you're
not going to change yourselves. No, but normally these people
equate the box office with like quality, right picture.
(01:23):
Then that means that we feel theaudience.
Audience has rejected. I don't.
Remember what happened to 83? That one bombed but they've
blamed it on like COVID or something so I guess.
Whatever. Yeah, Yeah.
So I think, Yeah, so clearly, like, you know, that excuse, say
like convince themselves not their fault and you're getting
like whatever, like quote, UN quote, praise from like
audiences and stuff. So like, clearly we did a good
(01:44):
job. Which is what they've been
saying with this one also, this one Bond.
But there's no pandemic now to blame.
So they've just been going around telling everybody that ha
ha, everybody likes it. Yeah.
But like, I honestly like, if you like this movie, then.
But that's the problem, right? Like if we do like, we're not
going to do a low caring. It doesn't make sense.
But our fertility as well seems so like this.
(02:06):
That's baffling, right? So this is the same as did we
talk about Sam Bahadur? I don't remember.
No, I don't think so. OK.
This is basically the Sam Bahadur problem, right?
It's and it's becoming increasingly common in like
especially the biopic genre because what they do is there is
a sense of inadequacy for some reason that directors feel when
(02:27):
they're doing, you know, real life stories, They're like real
achievements. Caffeine a year.
We'll just have to like jazz. Things off into it.
Yeah, yeah. And also the narrative, like the
structure is the same in all these movies.
It's like mini scenes, right? Like it's just one scene after
another, which almost it's like a short film, like beginning,
(02:47):
middle end, beginning, middle end.
And it's just exhausting after apoint character.
Every second doesn't have to be like a life altering.
Yeah, just just recollecting someone's life doesn't make a
good biopic. I think someone used to tell
these. People, but I just he's been
doing this for a while. I don't know if you remember
that Amazon show that he made which was just.
(03:07):
Oh my God, that is, that is, that is the nadir of like Tami
Khan's career. And imagine like he's just like
he's. That is the narrative structure
that he has chosen to stick to. Yeah, and I can see still some
facets of storytelling that he did in that Amazon show the
Forgotten Army, which is still like visible here.
I'm talking more like on a technical level, you know, like
(03:29):
every time he like he needs a a scene to like you know what to
be felt bigger than it is. He's like background music
escort. Yeah.
Like, Tasu Bajao, like full amber Pero wrote the author and
lyrics download like, because the scene in itself, like, say,
like a scene, like, you know, when the brother is telling him
at the Bombay Hospital, he like,you know, you're better off
here. Just let the two guys just let
(03:50):
them be, talk to each other. Cry it out.
You don't need to put a song in to make me feel worse about it.
It would have been manipulative and contrived without the music
and imagine how bad it is with this music.
Yeah, this is the this is this is the number one problem with
like that Amazon show was like he couldn't wait like 3 minutes
before plugging in like the maintheme, whatever.
(04:12):
Like he had Cordon, a singer anda song to develop and
everything. She was like, it's like the.
Device is the same right like elderly person looking back on
like many and. Control C.
Control V. And it's almost like we spoke
about like, delusion, but like, imagine what level of, I don't
(04:35):
know, if it's like just being blind to the real world.
Just imagine the kind of overconfidence you must have to
open your movie with the scene in which that person you're
supposed to take seriously. Like the level of makeup on that
character is so shortly. And that is the first impression
that we get of your protagonist,right?
K On a technical level, this person is just a horrible
(04:58):
prosthetics job who per say exaggerated performance, who per
say he's demanding an award thathe did not get, which is a very
strange kind of like thing to make a.
Country into the movie, yeah. Is that the best way to
introduce this person, to make him seem like entitled or
something without us knowing what he has done?
(05:19):
Right? It's another thing.
I go to the Khadia picture and then be like, oh, I should have
won an award or something. I'm like, yeah, yeah, man,
you've done. Machine comes like say 2 words
into the movie. I'm like, yeah, I've seen you do
a lot, so maybe you deserve thataward.
Yeah, I imagine first scene, which I don't know, I guess
we're supposed to be in like Sharias Talpade's mindset in
that I have no idea it. Basically, yeah, you should be
(05:42):
able to be like, laughing with like and like who's the who's
playing the president? I forget.
Brijendra Kala. Yeah, yeah.
So like, you know, like you should be with them like
Massively the junior. Officers to Brijendra Kala for
essentially having him be like, Wikipedia for like.
Yeah, which is like nonsense. Like why would you like slot him
in that role and why would he was like say yes to that kind of
(06:03):
rule? I have no.
Idea. I don't know, he's like he's one
of the few people that I find quite amusing in Hindi movies.
Like whenever he pops up, I'm like, oh, interesting.
This person has always been something interesting.
But then yeah, just this is justlike a waste, you know?
But like I would argue that evenShreyas Thalpati is wasted or
yeah. Like why are these?
People there. But Speaking of, you know,
(06:24):
laughing at him, I could not figure out for like 2 hours, 20
minutes of this movie's runtime,what was the reason that this
person decided Kim Muji metal chitna, it can't say a.
Hero welcome. That's it, right?
That's that's all we're given. The all we're given is someone
got a hero's welcome. And it's like, this is amazing.
I want this. But Can you imagine how flimsy
that is? Like we're we're.
(06:45):
I forget flimsy. It's also like for a child
that's OK and to want fame on that level, but once you grow up
you have to want more, right? But I don't know, he's kind of
dedicated his life to, I don't know, being like a wrestler
initially. But then the weird thing is that
the movie wants us to think that, yeah, Bachara bullied
people used to call him Chandu Champion without realizing that
(07:06):
they're calling him Chandu Champion after he has decided
that I want to be an Olympic. They're mocking his like level
of ambition. Basically he's like, how can you
like dream so big when you have done nothing?
But that isn't the same as beinglike, oh, he was bullied and
that's why he wants to achieve. That's partially the reason, but
he decided he wants to achieve before he was bullied, at least
according to the chain of eventsthat you presented.
(07:28):
To us, I mean, yeah, we have to go by what they give us.
Right. It's very, very strange.
But then, you know, that's just an early indication of this
movie is just wall to wall ineptitude like which could
sense. Speaking of ineptitude, like in
that childhood phase, they introduced like Garth Garden as
the character way too early, right?
Because he's supposed to be like.
I was still in school, yeah. And I was like, why can't we
(07:51):
just get a third actor? Like if you want to show
progression, just get a third actor who would like play this
whatever. Like, you know, adolescent self.
He's like that guy does not fit.Like Karthe Garden is looking
like 2X everyone's age in that school and like this is not a
working guy. That was the only time I was
glad that this movie has like zero female presence because
imagine if I have like little girls around.
(08:12):
They were like. Like the decision, sometimes we
like, you know, film makers naked India.
Like just get another actor, it's easy.
But it was very weird. So even if you like do like
mental like acrobatics, they'll be like haha, you punch but
failed voice actually about failed work.
Even then, like he's like 6 feetfive or something as compared to
(08:34):
like the other children like ABC.
Which is like the I think movieslike this is the recurring thing
like most like about movies, especially in Kabhi Khan is like
show people like in maybe even if he knew English in real life
not they would take it away fromhim just because it makes the.
Movie funnier funnier, but I can't even.
I remember being so annoyed by all those.
(08:56):
You know that dosa segue in 83? Yeah, yeah, I remember even as
discount it was. So strange, the dosa, I think
there was one like just a deleted scene written all over
it. But like there was a scene in
one of the most crucial scenes in 83 was when Kapil Dev hits
that match winning knock, right?And it wasn't telecast and this
(09:18):
was the first time that someone's been like recreating
that match, etcetera, etcetera. Huge dramatic moment and Kabir
Khan chooses to frame it to the perspective of the guy who wants
to pee but can't leave because it's such an interesting which
was like like perfect encapsulation of his artistic
vision. But even this one, I'm like,
(09:41):
bro, so this person has from a little village.
If you on paper see a story froma little village, he has escaped
and he has made it to the army. Now he's going and representing
his country in Tokyo in a very, very serious competition.
And then you decide that, that you simply have to have a scene
in which his English is made funof on TV.
(10:02):
Yeah. What in the world is that?
Yeah, like why is there even a female character to begin with
is my question. Aren't there enough things going
around in that scene for him to like, need that unnecessary like
distraction? I didn't forget that like.
What does her achieve? It's not like that woman is ever
important in the movie again. She's forgotten like there's.
No other woman also like that isto the only woman and obit is
(10:24):
about the yeah, like so. It takes the credits and like
entire while when he's narratingin this police station, we see
his son because like how we introduce about female like love
interest and like it takes like the credits of the movie to say
he married some woman called Usha and had five children.
I'm like what? When were you going to tell me
(10:44):
this? The which is weird because the
movie also has like a romantic song sequence that happens in
the beginning. All the more romantic interest
has been introduced. But no, no, like, you know, like
plays like it doesn't fit at all.
They leave like Army one area, they're going to the other area
of Army and beach where train may just like song.
I'm like, yeah, hello, like. It's not only just a song, it's
(11:08):
a song about romance. Yeah.
I'm like, why? It's double of that seems.
Like make it about like, you know, like like they're going to
be like army man, they're going to be training.
There's like recruits, maybe something about that like their
nerves. There's sort of excitement, like
random like like producers. They we need a song about like
love, because that'll Bajiga radio based training service pay
to Hamne Yard Aldea. That is basically the thought
(11:31):
process and like, which is so annoying at this point. 24 I'm
like, this is not then you can'tcall this a film like you're
making a product. Yeah, Yeah, this is for sure.
This is like a star package, youknow, like, oh, we've got like a
very expensive director and you've got a very expensive star
and here's an inspirational story.
Whatever. It's just, I wouldn't even call
it like Cookie Carter, because Iwould like to think that the
(11:54):
world has moved on. You know the minute you have an
immersing Jamke line from mainstream Bollywood is when the
world has moved on, right? Because then that is the
mainstream Hindi industry being like we can make a biopic that
is not going to. Beat this like do hit hit every
beat of his life. Yeah, and use interesting
framing devices and use like techniques in a fun way.
(12:14):
Sure. It's none of that, right?
Let's say. Something right?
Like, imagine like a guy who's making ROM coms his entire life
is saying that freedom of expression is important.
Yeah. And like discussion, what is he
saying with this movie? Like what are you saying?
I mean from what the ending kindof shoehorns in, he's basically
saying K motley Kant ka story isequal to India ka story,
(12:34):
Tumhasogya, Mario, Abraham whatever achieve which that you
would not expect I from what I understood.
But the only ones being laughed at right now is the director.
Which, like the comedy, is a recurring thing in this man's
life. If any intends to be funny, it's
never funny. Doesn't It's hilarious because.
(12:56):
Like I don't even understand like this obviously is some like
obviously allowed creative lessons.
I have all foreign biographies. When you start taking career
license to like a whole new level, then you like stuff like
why do the boxing event in Tokyoin 1964 only?
Why can't you make it like one year here and there?
Because then at the same years in Olympics, and this guy's
Olympics fanatic, and somehow they never mentioned that
(13:16):
there's an Olympics happening inthe same year he's there in
Tokyo. Yeah.
No, but the Vulcan drivers is a shoe so they're not like when he
runs away from his village the first person that he happens to
meet is the person who tells himK bait to army join Curly and
the army like whatever recruitment is happening
happening the very next day. I'm like OK, that's like 3
contrivances in one scene. And then the next level, like
(13:38):
toying with the facts how that happens, like when he actually
like is about to reach his ultimate goal, he reaches the
Paralympics and then like, I'm like, hey, like, why would you
like more is that I have no idea.
Like, why would you? Why do you need unnecessary like
drama in a movie when you know you're like literally like
portraying something that never even happened?
He was not there. But that's what that's what I
(14:00):
was mentioning when I when we started talking about this
movie, right? Like, Oh dear, Dave, there's a
sense of inadequacy. They feel so insecure about the
actual achievements they. Talk about the Munich Olympics,
We have to mention the Palestine, Israel attack.
We have to, otherwise there's noway we can do it.
Which is fine. You mention it, but you
mentioned it in the background. Right.
I can't you mentioned it becausethe Paralympics happened like I
(14:23):
think 2 weeks before the Olympics go there or attack
happens one week into the Olympics.
So these the events of like him winning his swimming medal and
the attack are three weeks or. Four weeks apart, then there you
go. We don't need it at all.
Yeah. It doesn't need to be the
separate event like get on with it like.
It makes no sense. This is like the English thing,
right? Keep him at love.
(14:45):
Let him at least do an interviewin peace without having to
suddenly have the hurdle of having a translator present.
And even he doesn't know all that nonsense is just all.
Nonsense. Now it's like the first time
someone's ever taken an interview and they don't know
the language. Yeah, they're like, but he
interview English. Can you do it?
Yeah, yeah. I'm not spending there's.
(15:06):
Person in the army who can translate for him.
Like yeah, there you go, solved.Problem solved.
It's not a big deal. And but you know, this, this
reminds me of, I don't know if you saw that movie called Major,
which I don't think many people saw, but it was about the 4G who
died in the 2611 attacks at Taj.The person saw my dad watching
it. Yeah, so that movie, so the real
(15:27):
person, he died during the siege, right?
He went up and he was climbing the stairs, whatever, and he was
shot. Heroic of him to be there.
Everything in that movie, they present that character like some
sort of superhero like. Their own way in diet.
So there's an actual scene in which that character comes out
of the siege races to all the media that's like stationed
(15:50):
outside famously and lectures them about Tum Jo Dikhar sits
down with. The Indian Olympic Committee and
then there's a gives a whole lecture about like people who
are like disabled being left away.
And I'm like, I'm sure they knowthat.
I'm sure like 50 other people have told them that already.
Yeah, we can see the weird thingis, you know, like, of course
(16:12):
he, like he, he's paralyzed and everything.
But the movie immediately launches into this odd, like,
Munna bhai segment in the hospital.
Yeah, right. Which immediately takes the
emotional heft away, right. You're like, Oh my God, this is
a huge blow for him. His entire life, He just.
Spent like a long scene in Kashmir where like this horror
(16:34):
thing was happening to him and cut to him being like Oh yeah
he's going through this now likeRajpal Yad is going to do comedy
for. 10 minutes, Yeah. It's like a literal 90s movie,
which is what Rajpal Yadav wouldhave been doing back then.
Like. There's no progression for the
poor guy. But nearly.
But it's me. It's me beachment now.
There's like suicide things. Also the middle of the comedy
at. The same time when the suicide
thing is happening, they have tomake that also like somehow like
(16:56):
that scene funny so they have them gambling on this happening.
Exactly. Like that scene is equivalent of
like that dosa scene from Italy but.
You can't really point fingers at Kabir Khan for not being
ambitious because Beach may he tries to do like Sam Mendeska
1917 also in case you did not notice.
Why I have no idea, but he can enjoy our life.
(17:17):
But that is also an indication of.
I don't want to keep using the word delusion, but like that
movie was an achievement, you know, technically and to be like
sitting, sure. And with like a fraction of the
money and like more. Like CGI?
Yeah. And to think that many maybe
same, maybe somebody has to stepin and be like, Sir, let's be
(17:40):
practical. I'm not saying hey, but
infrastructure person here, at least tell him that obviously
it's not like you proved us wrong.
Wow, how could we ever doubt you?
No, it looks every two second comes up so that you didn't see
(18:02):
the cut because they were too short anywhere.
And anything else as chef to talk about anyone we've missed
because the movies like I basically like 7-8 different
scenes like and characters come and go and like different what I
was. Yeah, yeah, apart.
We was expecting that. The random Sadaji in the crowd
at the end of the swimming contest, I thought the movie is
(18:25):
obviously going to turn to him and be like Meg Karneel Singh, a
father who beta I could not havebeen.
From like a Yeah, one thing the Merida Band movie has like,
pointed you down to its level. You expect like things in every
corner like. Which is a sad part, right?
Because then you're like thinking on the movies like
Wavelength, you're like, oh, this could happen that.
Could happen. Also not like when the on the
(18:47):
radio, his brother and dad like listen to like, oh, he's
participating in the final, which like it's amazing that
they've never been told the start is like going to Munich
and participating in the Olympics.
But he can, if I like let you give you that.
They must like run across the village, run to home, tell the
mom and then the mom is like full backlit, full emotional,
like like about on tears. I'm like.
(19:09):
Only Michael Bacon get away withstuff like that.
Because the entire movie then his operates on that way with
it. This one is just because you've
also just told us that the family was completely unaware
about him for like 2 years rightafter he left.
They had no idea Kahampur and they had to be told that he was
in the war and he got shot and he got injured and he's been in
(19:30):
the coma for like so many years,right?
And then the next time we see him, see the family is them
basically the brother basically saying that you don't come home
because we can't afford to, basically your liability, right?
In kinder words, or not even as kind.
So in my head I'm like, oh, how terrible.
What a terrible family, you know?
And then in the end I'm supposedto be like crying on their
(19:52):
behalf or. At least like if they leave him,
they can keep in touch through letters now, like they kind are
there to be like how we're goingand even not keep in touch even
though we're in the same state. Like just write letters to each
other. Like why did they forget about
him? Like I don't know when the thing
late 60s or whatever he's like recuperating in that Bombay
hospital. So then and 72 he goes to the.
(20:13):
Like there's no combination between the family.
That's like you can't forgetting.
Germany ma but I. Won't tell you is just like
estranged at that point. Yeah, right.
So I mean they should for. You and they won't even write to
you from now. On and even Murtree Khan is not
like pining for his family rightever in his moments of solitude
like Meera ma meri kya Ki and I'm forced to stay away.
(20:36):
We aren't even shown that side of him.
So yeah, for for what We know he's like just.
Focus on the boys in front of him.
So I don't even understand why that perspective was shown to us
in the 1st place. Like Intel introduce them be
like they've turned their backs on him and they left finish.
You're already milking emotion from like 1500 directions so by
(20:58):
anyone there's no end to this. You can go on for like 6 hours.
Because I kept happy another scene.
It's just like by that choice though.
Literally, we've spoken about all this stuff, but like, we can
like, pick out scenes and be like, So yeah, I think this is a
(21:19):
good time to be like, like. Yeah, short shop and like move
on. Yeah, that's all for this
episode of The Long Take. You can follow us on Facebook,
YouTube, Instagram and Threads at the Long Take part.
You can write to us at the Long takepart@gmail.com.
Please leave us a rating and a review wherever's episode and we
will see you next week. Thanks for listening.
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