July 24, 2025 • 22 mins
Is Dharma trying to actively sabotage Ibrahim Ali Khan’s career? After the unwatchable Nadaaniyan, the studio has released the equally inept Sarzameen, a feature-length debut for director Kayoze Irani.
We discuss the film’s unintelligent characters and confusing narrative, and wonder if most of it was left on the cutting room floor. We also talk about some of its more harebrained twists and the unintentional political statements it makes.
Sarzameen reeks of something that Netflix and Prime Video passed on, which is probably why it ended up on JioHotstar, a streamer where movies go to die.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:16):
Hi, for the long take this week we're discussing the new Hotstar
or Geohastar, whatever movie youwant to call it.
I don't know what it's called about these days.
Sarzumin, it stars Petri Raj Kajol and Abraham Ali Khan.
It's made by Kaizen Rani, which is his first feature of him.
He made like a short part of a Netflix anthology thing a few
(00:36):
years back. We should actually do it on this
podcast, but I'd forgotten that he was a director of that
segment completely. Anyway, yeah.
What do you go zooming on? Oh, I mean, I have a vague
memory of that short film, and Iremember liking it.
And I remember also thinking that this is an unusually like,
mature, like, romantic story that, you know, people don't
(00:58):
really make. And this guy might have a bright
future, But little did I know that he would meet there.
But like, why would? You think he chose this as like
a director for hire thing because you know, wasn't getting
anything and he's like I my first break, I will take
anything. Possibly, right, because, yeah,
I don't understand how things work because it was very obvious
that he has a certain skill directing a certain kind of
(01:19):
movie. And this has nothing to do with
that kind of movie. It just has.
There is no like, romance to speak of in this movie at all.
Nor is. There's no one, no one to
Peacock like that, that segment which like we haven't given
enough detail, but that was the one with Manav Kaul and whose
other face. Shefalisha.
Shefalisha. Yeah.
Like, it had nuance. It was like soft touches showing
(01:41):
a delicate. And let's see all of that.
And this movie is just, like, fully loud nonstop.
Yeah. It it, it's like I was waiting
for Acha. This might be the reason why
somebody would be interested in telling this story.
You know, like 1 brief moment orone brief even like a scene
between the the couple, you knowlike Kajol and this guy like
because they don't have like a good relationship.
(02:02):
But the movie hasn't like lingeror even try to ask any questions
about that, right? Because so.
Actually skips the eight years. Very good linger, right?
Like those eight years and the son is presumed dead and he's
gone from their lives would be an amazing like interlude or
like at least spend some time oflike what is happening to their
marriage. Yeah.
And like, people have made thosemovies before and they're very
(02:24):
difficult to watch. And that's probably why
everybody was like, maybe they shot some of it and, you know,
and, and are you crazy? Like people will shut it off if
you include, you know, like any sort of uncomfortable like
moments in this movie. So I have like, I would like to
assume that they there was something there, even if it was
(02:45):
a 5 minutes, but then it's gone because the movie is very
jarring. Like the kid disappears and then
the next scene comes back, right?
There's not enough time to even register.
There's like art, art Salbad. And then you're like, OK, it had
no emotional bearing on the story.
Like why this? Is like the biggest chunk, like
you could explore all of that. Like that marriage anyway was
(03:08):
like pulling at things because of like how he was behaving with
his son and clearly there was strife there.
So you have this now period to explore that, My God.
Like, and for one person, like, in a way, like it's almost like
a sense of relief at some level,like short of this devastation
because he's lost his son. But at some level he's like, OK,
the son I didn't really, like care that much about is gone.
(03:29):
So you can use it as fiction versus the mother who actually
is feelings a lot of things. But you're happy as our way.
And when the scene opens, I'm like, yeah, yeah.
They'll be like living in separate households and stuff.
And they're like living together.
I'm like, OK, are you going to tell me how this is still a
marriage, a working marriage? Exactly.
Yeah, you, because that's a veryobvious question and it doesn't
take like I'm sure, but everybody's going to have that
(03:49):
question, right? What happened in those eight
years? What happened even if she agreed
to stay? You know, like something must
have. Happened like what made her stay
right? Like I need to see that.
I mean, there are so many other occasions also that I thought
that, you know, this is like, there could have been drama
here, but the movie doesn't seeminterested in it.
Like he is supposed to be like abrainwashed militant when he
(04:11):
returns, right? But then he doesn't really do
any militancy. So why is he like we know
because we've been told. It's not like we've seen him on
getting trained or anything on until the flashback happens.
But it's not like he has committed some crime and then
they've taken him in because he's their son.
(04:32):
And that's complex, right? Because he's after all our son,
but now we have to protect him. But there's none of that.
There's also none of like, I don't recognize you like I
didn't like you before, but now though, I don't recognize you at
all. So why am I?
Why am I being forgiving now when I wasn't forgiving when you
were whatever 10, you know? Yeah, There's none of there's
(04:54):
none. There's, there's nobody's even
thinking. A galvanized picture.
And there's like weird things sometimes.
I like that, like at the like he's been suspecting him, the
dad, like, you know, since he comes back and like they try to
build that clearly, clearly, clearly.
And then it it look blows up in that like his office where like
he's like, look, he's like, I'vejust heard to see the gun, which
(05:14):
like no one's buying that. Sure.
And then mom walks in is like, Oh my God, what are you doing?
How can you point out son at your own son and you got gun at
your own son? And then after like the son
leaves like he's suspecting me is like tumkono, tumkono.
And there's like a DNA report onthe table.
Which like he knows about. So I'm like, once again, if that
DNA report already happened and,you know, this is actually your
(05:36):
son biologically, so then why are you pulling that act in
front of the audience that he was suspecting him, that he was,
like, manipulating and resembling and disguising as
someone else, you know? Yeah, Yeah.
This movie is fully it like reeks of oh, no, we made a very
bad movie. Now we have to like edit things
and reshoot things. And it's no because it's so
(05:56):
stupid, right? You're talking about the DNA
report, which kind of it basically act like cuts out the
entire previous 10 minutes, right?
Exactly redundant because the DNA report exists then also when
he goes he's sending messages ishe like stupid?
He's sending messages what is happening?
(06:18):
Are we supposed to? Is he like throwing you off the
center or something? Because like, your brain doesn't
allow you to imagine that something could be this stupid,
like you're constantly giving itthe benefit of the doubt.
But then. It's not like he, like his
handlers, gave him a phone key, a phone use Karna's secret
communication, Clay. No, he conveniently got a phone
(06:39):
from his mother. Otherwise he had, I don't know
what backup plan was if he nevergot that phone, like he would
not communicate to with anyone at all.
So he got this phone and then now he's using this phone that
he got from his mother to communicate with his handlers.
Bye. Yeah, that is WhatsApp.
No but what is his even plan is to kill Prithvi Raj.
(07:03):
But like how does the his handler care if he kills Prithvi
Raj? Like who?
Like what is how does that mean anything to them?
Like they should use him for like a bigger purpose, No like
if you've invested like 8 years but.
They were trying to use a biggerthing, OK.
They were like how to dad code and they were using you to blow
up this like dam and this seniorIS guy.
(07:24):
Oh, Boman Irani, which I like. I don't, I don't know who.
Boman Irani. Yeah.
He'd never been introduced. He's just like, free casting me.
Yeah, because my dad is the actor, so, but OK, we never
establish him. They keep saying in the last
half an hour they're like, yeah,we're going to like he's going
to inaugurate ISS. They were like all the news
brokers saying IS Kannan. Like I'm like, who is IS Khan?
What are you talking about? Yeah.
(07:45):
So you have no, like, basically you have no interest in what
he's trying to do. Also, like, he failed.
He doesn't kill his father, right?
Yeah. And if he doesn't kill his
father, then what was the contingency plan Like?
Is he supposed to continue with the other thing or is he
supposed to stop and 1st kill his father?
Only then will you continue because I don't know all these
things because the movie is so confused.
(08:06):
Yeah, I'm over say I'm thinking that shall you?
This is your premise. Whatever.
There could have been a version of this movie which is a full
like let's order work movie right?
The black bag. Black.
Bag they're. Trying to trying to figure out K
when the has been turned or not like the guy from homeland, you
know, and that should expand three seasons on that guy.
(08:27):
This, this, this movie does it in like 1 scene.
And so like, the entire movie would have been just like this
psychological thriller about people trying to figure out if
they're being truthful. Whatever.
Yeah. He's he's like he's doing
mundane things and mixed in withlike, you know, like how they
mentioned like how to market andthen just do like 10 versions of
those of like we didn't see him.Yeah.
(08:48):
It's not like Dekhama movie shoot Kara or cartel.
Like he's just leading, leading his life and wherever he goes,
like their father's always doubting like where he really go
out to like continue with education, meet his friends or
like, is he doing the other thing?
And he never. Knows.
Yeah. And the movie is behaving as if
we know, like obviously market Gaza.
Like what market, bro? Did I miss something?
(09:10):
And constantly this happens, right?
Because they mentioned things that are supposedly like, we've
seen it but we haven't. And then you kind of second
guess yourself. Am I just disinterested to the
point of where I'm just zoning out?
That happened to me for like real.
That happened to me what you just mentioned in the last like
bring words cuz the movie like this is like movies spend time,
right? The movie spend like 100 minutes
(09:31):
trying to like build it to this moment when the data is sort of
fighting and then they're. Like in some factory which void
I would have no. Besides the point that I have
given up on having production design and stuff like that at
this point. And like they're building to
this moment and you know, they face off like they're pointing
the gun at each other like someone person is like bleeding
or whatever. And then the music kicks in, you
know, like we're like, yes, you must feel something, but we're
(09:53):
doing everything. We're possibly doing everything
that is filmmaking tools that are available belt nothing.
I felt nothing. It was my face was plain.
Not a single muscle was switching.
I had no reaction and you have Ihave a hate reaction.
I didn't have an enjoy reaction.I was like a pathetic.
I'll tell you why. Because this movie is like the
opposite of storm trooper issue,right?
Because storm troopers miss in this movie.
(10:15):
They hit people with bullets andthey don't die.
Yeah, like, at least four peopleare, like, hit point blank with
bullets and they just swallowed their own back.
Are dead for like minutes and then like Jesus Christ, they
rise. Yeah.
What is happening? Why would you even kill Kajol if
she's supposed to like, wake up,right?
I don't understand it because it's supposed to be this moment
of Oh my God, what have I done? But yeah, exactly.
(10:37):
Like, it's like a colossal moment, right?
He's like, oh, I was here to, like, kill my dad, take revenge
on him for how you behave with me.
But accidentally, I end up with my mother.
I'm like, yeah, great. Like, emotional mix.
You've given this character and then you undo it.
God. Let's not forget that these
people assumed for however long that Harman was also dead only
(10:59):
like we saw or at least we heardhim getting shot, but he's not
dead. Then Prithviraj is shot and he's
not dead. And then?
And then Harvard started the endat the end like 3 times, yeah.
And he's. Not dead, falls down and it gets
back. I was waiting for like a you
know, like a Jesus Christ type, like sunlight around him, like
other body needs to happen. Like this movie has to be a
(11:21):
fantasy. It cannot sell you this as like
a reality. Also, like 1 aspect of the movie
that I think is mostly like unintentional is that the whole
first half of it, when this kid returns, I am actively rooting
for him to kill his father. Yeah, I don't.
I don't know if that is intentional.
It's not, but that's because you've set up the him as such a
(11:42):
bad parent that you're. As you haven't I thinking the
kid do anything bad. Yeah, yeah.
Like you buy you banging. So how much on like, the movie's
tight essentially, right? They keep saying that line.
I mean, I'm like, I don't care. I think it's better to be a
better human than protecting your country.
So I'm not buying the basic likelogic of your movie.
(12:03):
Yeah, it's basically exactly it.It the movie hopes that it
everybody who's watching it is on the same page as it or is
equally insane as it is, but then no man like why would?
You is it like every movie male in the history of filmmaking
always argues that people end upputting their family first
before their country like 24 May.
(12:23):
Like he literally let's the cityget nuclear bombed to save his
family. He like don't sit down.
President Kumar doth to merry desh ko Bomgardo, merry wife or
merry daughter Peleangye. Exactly.
So it goes against not only. Like that's Jack power.
Did you feel for that? Because you're like, yes, humans
feel for like basic thing, right?
Like family, they don't feel forthe abstract things, like I
(12:45):
don't care about the city, that's people.
I care about two people. Even if you've established that
he doesn't like his son, that isnot enough of a reason for him
to be like Amar Dosko now Bui. That's one needs to be him
realizing that he was dumb aboutit and that his son matters more
than his country. Which I suppose he does in the
(13:07):
end. Yeah, but by the time.
You're like. You're like.
Checked out and not interested. In what?
No. By that time, though, the movie
has also revealed that Kajol wasa spy and.
I was so checked out I had to like rewind for like 20 seconds
and I was like one second. What?
Why? And they do a full like because
they build it up now, like someone is sitting masked as a
(13:29):
computer's case. I'm there.
Who is this person? Whatever, Mushtaq No.
But I was trying to understand that.
Maybe we can help you understand.
It's like, how is that importantto the thematic or like
immortality of the movie? I'll tell you it's it's whoever
has written this movie or whatever Kyoze Iran has grown up
with Harry Potter, right? And they've thought here's I
(13:49):
thought about this so I haven't heard.
And they've thought that oh, Harry Potter can mother
sacrifices herself because powerof love protects Harry,
etcetera. And similarly, at the end she's
gives some lecture. I'm forgetting now that PR is
more important than Nafrat or something something, something,
right. So she is basically ignoring
(14:10):
whatever conditioning that she has probably grown up with
before the movie began and she has abandoned because she has
fallen in love with Prithviraj, which we don't see and we can't
believe because he's a terrible man.
And then she has had a child with him whom we can believe she
is she loves. And she wants to protect him
from all the evil around them. And so it's like a Harry Potter
(14:31):
mother situation. And I'm guessing that's why they
called him Harman. But that's you made a long shot.
Are you really? Clutching at straws.
And that's my long shot look. Otherwise it makes no sense.
No, like what the hell just happened?
Like why it's important, why themovie should be A twist.
The movie should be like just shaking my hand for even giving
this much thought. It is A twist movie right?
(14:53):
It is like that Abbas Hussain movie where Kajol is the year at
the end. Like the end where?
You want to like reconcile the father and son.
You are now wasting your time tomake other nonsense I mean.
In all honesty, like Kajol couldhave just been Kajol and she
could have delivered that lecture anywhere.
Yeah, You didn't have to be a spy.
And then Oh my God, look at me, I have been a double agent all
(15:14):
along, etcetera, etcetera. Who care?
You could reformed. With love and I passed and love
down to you but. Whatever.
Not like how we don't care. Yeah, we haven't seen what you
show us. At least have like some random.
Is like your male characters andthen you're trying to generate
like some path horse with like the female character who you
(15:35):
ignored the entire movie and you.
Briefly murdered, yeah, and Matlab Toda Servo flashback
holder where they're playing with like this little child or
whatever. But do you really honestly
expect me to develop any sort offeelings based on just 5 seconds
not? Also because then those scenes
are again, like femined in a waythat Vijay feels like the POV.
(15:55):
Yeah. Yeah, it's him.
Always, Yeah. So then you're not.
You never, never putting me in the lens of like this character.
You want it better. Satya Prem Katha's syndrome
where everything is it's not really about Vijay and he's the
least interesting person of the movie.
Like a semi. Villain.
He is a. Full on villain, right?
He anybody who has who says thumbs up to kill my child is
(16:20):
straight up villain. Like unambiguously A villain.
This movie is about the Reformation of a villain,
basically, right? Which is why I'm wondering key
intentional Tak in ETA, because army is villain, terrorist is
hero in this, remember, Yeah. What an unintentionally amazing
delivery mechanism they have. Yeah, it's.
Insane, fully insane movie. Shameful also.
(16:41):
And then they'll go to hydralize, screen this movie for
like the Army and they'll get like pat on the ETA.
Oh my God you're showing the Army and now people watching
this and like why favorite this?And Shuruma Atta we had like ADG
Co. Thank you and all.
Yeah, because. Obviously you need if you want
to like film anywhere around these locations and clearly and
all of them read the script before they like allowed them to
(17:03):
shoot around their location I. Wonder what the script was
because clearly like they're trying to.
Then there is a version of this where Prithviraj is even more of
a villain, and I'm sure they're trying to sugar coat it a little
bit in the version. Oh my God, what have you shot?
We can't show this India's like nationalistic army will like
(17:23):
yeah, I said like what was the Anil Kapoor movie where he was
like playing some officer and fighter that something that Air
Force had raised the issue or something?
I have no. Memory.
He was, he was an Air Force and fighter, but I don't remember
any controversy around that either.
Yeah. IF had objected on showing some
flag or some their countries their symbols in the on his
(17:45):
uniform playing a officer wait for.
Them to watch this one then, yeah.
Exactly right. Like burying the thing, like
some like inaccurate uniform andhe's like, he's using galis and
all. This is not how IAF officers be
here. Yeah, nobody like.
Seeing what the part that our country is going down, I
wouldn't be surprised if they'relike, huh, OK now, but who cares
(18:07):
the. Movie is.
Not like it doesn't even I am. Either you show me like what the
parents did in those eight yearsor you show me what the kid did
in those eight years. It is so stupid.
Like the only interesting part of this movie is the part that
happens off screen. RB-8.
Years and they've filmed everything around it so entire
(18:30):
movie should be 8 years. Kazoo exploration exactly like
show me like intercutting between the two like house in a.
Nutshell, like Bollywood, this is the level of.
Like when you have no idea whereyou like you get a story which
like has emotional like good stress ground to cover.
I have completely no idea where to work.
(18:51):
This is like full. You know, sometimes I'll read
like a news story where like, oh, like some gas cylinder
exploded and three people died. I'm like a children at the last
like sentencement, like, OK, thegas cylinder belonged to the
Prime Minister of India. I'm like what?
Where to bury the lead, bro? Yeah, I'm.
Off screen, you're like, OK, November.
(19:13):
I can't even imagine people likethis.
Like people will obviously not like this, right.
Also, it feels like very obviously they've cut around
Ibrahim, you know, whatever lines he had or things like you
don't really see him much. Yeah, he's.
Like a modern day Keanu Reeds minus the all the action
ability. Yeah, minus.
The screen presence, yeah. So I don't know what left at
(19:35):
this point, but you know what I'm hinting at.
Oh man, yeah, this is great going Dharma, Yeah.
You like, I wonder like if they like because Dharma doesn't have
an active deal with like HotstarHotstar, right?
No this. Is probably like Netflix,
Amazon. Yeah, exactly where I was.
Going I was like, they went to their usual partners and they're
(19:56):
like, we will, yeah. Otherwise, why?
Would you go to like? Also Jio is the kind of place
where you could sell a movie forlike no money.
And as a favor, OK, please just release this.
Yeah. You know, and because nobody
else is buying it, and you're like, yeah, but it'll just
disappear in two days, right? So who cares?
Yeah. Honestly, at this point, it's
like I can we can say big three in terms of like purchasing
(20:18):
power, but I feel like it's now like Netflix, Amazon and then
like it's like Sony Live will come before Hotstar now
possible. Yeah, Hotstar.
Would literally buy anything andnot that they would.
Do you own like. Yeah, except.
Penthouse, which we've been waiting for five years now.
Oh yeah, why does? Nobody buy that.
I will literally like, put it onVOD.
I'll pay money to see. Just to see it.
(20:39):
Cabana. Yeah, like what?
How back is something before theIndian industry to be like, no,
sorry, we can't let anybody evensee.
Like what? The item of it?
I mean one frame, one frame you've seen, we can't see them
even see a trailer of it. What was that?
The clown who died. What is that infamous movie?
I can't remember the, I'm going to Google it quickly.
Sure. Yeah, Penthouse.
And like we've done, we'll discuss this point like we had
(21:01):
listed like some. The day it's it's called the day
the Clown Died. OK, It's Jerry Lewis, and yeah,
five hours have been shot, but nobody has seen it because it
was apparently about a clown imprisoned in a Nazi
concentration camp. Oh.
God and who should have not get caught in green lit?
(21:21):
So, yeah, Penthouse, yeah. When Taos chakra esperas he had
counted like all these movies once but like and.
Two seasons of two seasons of Yeah.
That too is our North Star Dailyseason.
I will sign off. I'll be like I'm done streaming
Universe over. Don't need to watch anything
more anyway. Yeah, time to Rapido.
(21:42):
That's all for this episode of The Long Take.
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week. Thanks for this time.
Bye.
Hi, for the long take this week we're discussing the new Hotstar
or Geohastar, whatever movie youwant to call it.
I don't know what it's called about these days.
Sarzumin, it stars Petri Raj Kajol and Abraham Ali Khan.
It's made by Kaizen Rani, which is his first feature of him.
He made like a short part of a Netflix anthology thing a few
(00:36):
years back. We should actually do it on this
podcast, but I'd forgotten that he was a director of that
segment completely. Anyway, yeah.
What do you go zooming on? Oh, I mean, I have a vague
memory of that short film, and Iremember liking it.
And I remember also thinking that this is an unusually like,
mature, like, romantic story that, you know, people don't
(00:58):
really make. And this guy might have a bright
future, But little did I know that he would meet there.
But like, why would? You think he chose this as like
a director for hire thing because you know, wasn't getting
anything and he's like I my first break, I will take
anything. Possibly, right, because, yeah,
I don't understand how things work because it was very obvious
that he has a certain skill directing a certain kind of
(01:19):
movie. And this has nothing to do with
that kind of movie. It just has.
There is no like, romance to speak of in this movie at all.
Nor is. There's no one, no one to
Peacock like that, that segment which like we haven't given
enough detail, but that was the one with Manav Kaul and whose
other face. Shefalisha.
Shefalisha. Yeah.
Like, it had nuance. It was like soft touches showing
(01:41):
a delicate. And let's see all of that.
And this movie is just, like, fully loud nonstop.
Yeah. It it, it's like I was waiting
for Acha. This might be the reason why
somebody would be interested in telling this story.
You know, like 1 brief moment orone brief even like a scene
between the the couple, you knowlike Kajol and this guy like
because they don't have like a good relationship.
(02:02):
But the movie hasn't like lingeror even try to ask any questions
about that, right? Because so.
Actually skips the eight years. Very good linger, right?
Like those eight years and the son is presumed dead and he's
gone from their lives would be an amazing like interlude or
like at least spend some time oflike what is happening to their
marriage. Yeah.
And like, people have made thosemovies before and they're very
(02:24):
difficult to watch. And that's probably why
everybody was like, maybe they shot some of it and, you know,
and, and are you crazy? Like people will shut it off if
you include, you know, like any sort of uncomfortable like
moments in this movie. So I have like, I would like to
assume that they there was something there, even if it was
(02:45):
a 5 minutes, but then it's gone because the movie is very
jarring. Like the kid disappears and then
the next scene comes back, right?
There's not enough time to even register.
There's like art, art Salbad. And then you're like, OK, it had
no emotional bearing on the story.
Like why this? Is like the biggest chunk, like
you could explore all of that. Like that marriage anyway was
(03:08):
like pulling at things because of like how he was behaving with
his son and clearly there was strife there.
So you have this now period to explore that, My God.
Like, and for one person, like, in a way, like it's almost like
a sense of relief at some level,like short of this devastation
because he's lost his son. But at some level he's like, OK,
the son I didn't really, like care that much about is gone.
(03:29):
So you can use it as fiction versus the mother who actually
is feelings a lot of things. But you're happy as our way.
And when the scene opens, I'm like, yeah, yeah.
They'll be like living in separate households and stuff.
And they're like living together.
I'm like, OK, are you going to tell me how this is still a
marriage, a working marriage? Exactly.
Yeah, you, because that's a veryobvious question and it doesn't
take like I'm sure, but everybody's going to have that
(03:49):
question, right? What happened in those eight
years? What happened even if she agreed
to stay? You know, like something must
have. Happened like what made her stay
right? Like I need to see that.
I mean, there are so many other occasions also that I thought
that, you know, this is like, there could have been drama
here, but the movie doesn't seeminterested in it.
Like he is supposed to be like abrainwashed militant when he
(04:11):
returns, right? But then he doesn't really do
any militancy. So why is he like we know
because we've been told. It's not like we've seen him on
getting trained or anything on until the flashback happens.
But it's not like he has committed some crime and then
they've taken him in because he's their son.
(04:32):
And that's complex, right? Because he's after all our son,
but now we have to protect him. But there's none of that.
There's also none of like, I don't recognize you like I
didn't like you before, but now though, I don't recognize you at
all. So why am I?
Why am I being forgiving now when I wasn't forgiving when you
were whatever 10, you know? Yeah, There's none of there's
(04:54):
none. There's, there's nobody's even
thinking. A galvanized picture.
And there's like weird things sometimes.
I like that, like at the like he's been suspecting him, the
dad, like, you know, since he comes back and like they try to
build that clearly, clearly, clearly.
And then it it look blows up in that like his office where like
he's like, look, he's like, I'vejust heard to see the gun, which
(05:14):
like no one's buying that. Sure.
And then mom walks in is like, Oh my God, what are you doing?
How can you point out son at your own son and you got gun at
your own son? And then after like the son
leaves like he's suspecting me is like tumkono, tumkono.
And there's like a DNA report onthe table.
Which like he knows about. So I'm like, once again, if that
DNA report already happened and,you know, this is actually your
(05:36):
son biologically, so then why are you pulling that act in
front of the audience that he was suspecting him, that he was,
like, manipulating and resembling and disguising as
someone else, you know? Yeah, Yeah.
This movie is fully it like reeks of oh, no, we made a very
bad movie. Now we have to like edit things
and reshoot things. And it's no because it's so
(05:56):
stupid, right? You're talking about the DNA
report, which kind of it basically act like cuts out the
entire previous 10 minutes, right?
Exactly redundant because the DNA report exists then also when
he goes he's sending messages ishe like stupid?
He's sending messages what is happening?
(06:18):
Are we supposed to? Is he like throwing you off the
center or something? Because like, your brain doesn't
allow you to imagine that something could be this stupid,
like you're constantly giving itthe benefit of the doubt.
But then. It's not like he, like his
handlers, gave him a phone key, a phone use Karna's secret
communication, Clay. No, he conveniently got a phone
(06:39):
from his mother. Otherwise he had, I don't know
what backup plan was if he nevergot that phone, like he would
not communicate to with anyone at all.
So he got this phone and then now he's using this phone that
he got from his mother to communicate with his handlers.
Bye. Yeah, that is WhatsApp.
No but what is his even plan is to kill Prithvi Raj.
(07:03):
But like how does the his handler care if he kills Prithvi
Raj? Like who?
Like what is how does that mean anything to them?
Like they should use him for like a bigger purpose, No like
if you've invested like 8 years but.
They were trying to use a biggerthing, OK.
They were like how to dad code and they were using you to blow
up this like dam and this seniorIS guy.
(07:24):
Oh, Boman Irani, which I like. I don't, I don't know who.
Boman Irani. Yeah.
He'd never been introduced. He's just like, free casting me.
Yeah, because my dad is the actor, so, but OK, we never
establish him. They keep saying in the last
half an hour they're like, yeah,we're going to like he's going
to inaugurate ISS. They were like all the news
brokers saying IS Kannan. Like I'm like, who is IS Khan?
What are you talking about? Yeah.
(07:45):
So you have no, like, basically you have no interest in what
he's trying to do. Also, like, he failed.
He doesn't kill his father, right?
Yeah. And if he doesn't kill his
father, then what was the contingency plan Like?
Is he supposed to continue with the other thing or is he
supposed to stop and 1st kill his father?
Only then will you continue because I don't know all these
things because the movie is so confused.
(08:06):
Yeah, I'm over say I'm thinking that shall you?
This is your premise. Whatever.
There could have been a version of this movie which is a full
like let's order work movie right?
The black bag. Black.
Bag they're. Trying to trying to figure out K
when the has been turned or not like the guy from homeland, you
know, and that should expand three seasons on that guy.
(08:27):
This, this, this movie does it in like 1 scene.
And so like, the entire movie would have been just like this
psychological thriller about people trying to figure out if
they're being truthful. Whatever.
Yeah. He's he's like he's doing
mundane things and mixed in withlike, you know, like how they
mentioned like how to market andthen just do like 10 versions of
those of like we didn't see him.Yeah.
(08:48):
It's not like Dekhama movie shoot Kara or cartel.
Like he's just leading, leading his life and wherever he goes,
like their father's always doubting like where he really go
out to like continue with education, meet his friends or
like, is he doing the other thing?
And he never. Knows.
Yeah. And the movie is behaving as if
we know, like obviously market Gaza.
Like what market, bro? Did I miss something?
(09:10):
And constantly this happens, right?
Because they mentioned things that are supposedly like, we've
seen it but we haven't. And then you kind of second
guess yourself. Am I just disinterested to the
point of where I'm just zoning out?
That happened to me for like real.
That happened to me what you just mentioned in the last like
bring words cuz the movie like this is like movies spend time,
right? The movie spend like 100 minutes
(09:31):
trying to like build it to this moment when the data is sort of
fighting and then they're. Like in some factory which void
I would have no. Besides the point that I have
given up on having production design and stuff like that at
this point. And like they're building to
this moment and you know, they face off like they're pointing
the gun at each other like someone person is like bleeding
or whatever. And then the music kicks in, you
know, like we're like, yes, you must feel something, but we're
(09:53):
doing everything. We're possibly doing everything
that is filmmaking tools that are available belt nothing.
I felt nothing. It was my face was plain.
Not a single muscle was switching.
I had no reaction and you have Ihave a hate reaction.
I didn't have an enjoy reaction.I was like a pathetic.
I'll tell you why. Because this movie is like the
opposite of storm trooper issue,right?
Because storm troopers miss in this movie.
(10:15):
They hit people with bullets andthey don't die.
Yeah, like, at least four peopleare, like, hit point blank with
bullets and they just swallowed their own back.
Are dead for like minutes and then like Jesus Christ, they
rise. Yeah.
What is happening? Why would you even kill Kajol if
she's supposed to like, wake up,right?
I don't understand it because it's supposed to be this moment
of Oh my God, what have I done? But yeah, exactly.
(10:37):
Like, it's like a colossal moment, right?
He's like, oh, I was here to, like, kill my dad, take revenge
on him for how you behave with me.
But accidentally, I end up with my mother.
I'm like, yeah, great. Like, emotional mix.
You've given this character and then you undo it.
God. Let's not forget that these
people assumed for however long that Harman was also dead only
(10:59):
like we saw or at least we heardhim getting shot, but he's not
dead. Then Prithviraj is shot and he's
not dead. And then?
And then Harvard started the endat the end like 3 times, yeah.
And he's. Not dead, falls down and it gets
back. I was waiting for like a you
know, like a Jesus Christ type, like sunlight around him, like
other body needs to happen. Like this movie has to be a
(11:21):
fantasy. It cannot sell you this as like
a reality. Also, like 1 aspect of the movie
that I think is mostly like unintentional is that the whole
first half of it, when this kid returns, I am actively rooting
for him to kill his father. Yeah, I don't.
I don't know if that is intentional.
It's not, but that's because you've set up the him as such a
(11:42):
bad parent that you're. As you haven't I thinking the
kid do anything bad. Yeah, yeah.
Like you buy you banging. So how much on like, the movie's
tight essentially, right? They keep saying that line.
I mean, I'm like, I don't care. I think it's better to be a
better human than protecting your country.
So I'm not buying the basic likelogic of your movie.
(12:03):
Yeah, it's basically exactly it.It the movie hopes that it
everybody who's watching it is on the same page as it or is
equally insane as it is, but then no man like why would?
You is it like every movie male in the history of filmmaking
always argues that people end upputting their family first
before their country like 24 May.
(12:23):
Like he literally let's the cityget nuclear bombed to save his
family. He like don't sit down.
President Kumar doth to merry desh ko Bomgardo, merry wife or
merry daughter Peleangye. Exactly.
So it goes against not only. Like that's Jack power.
Did you feel for that? Because you're like, yes, humans
feel for like basic thing, right?
Like family, they don't feel forthe abstract things, like I
(12:45):
don't care about the city, that's people.
I care about two people. Even if you've established that
he doesn't like his son, that isnot enough of a reason for him
to be like Amar Dosko now Bui. That's one needs to be him
realizing that he was dumb aboutit and that his son matters more
than his country. Which I suppose he does in the
(13:07):
end. Yeah, but by the time.
You're like. You're like.
Checked out and not interested. In what?
No. By that time, though, the movie
has also revealed that Kajol wasa spy and.
I was so checked out I had to like rewind for like 20 seconds
and I was like one second. What?
Why? And they do a full like because
they build it up now, like someone is sitting masked as a
(13:29):
computer's case. I'm there.
Who is this person? Whatever, Mushtaq No.
But I was trying to understand that.
Maybe we can help you understand.
It's like, how is that importantto the thematic or like
immortality of the movie? I'll tell you it's it's whoever
has written this movie or whatever Kyoze Iran has grown up
with Harry Potter, right? And they've thought here's I
(13:49):
thought about this so I haven't heard.
And they've thought that oh, Harry Potter can mother
sacrifices herself because powerof love protects Harry,
etcetera. And similarly, at the end she's
gives some lecture. I'm forgetting now that PR is
more important than Nafrat or something something, something,
right. So she is basically ignoring
(14:10):
whatever conditioning that she has probably grown up with
before the movie began and she has abandoned because she has
fallen in love with Prithviraj, which we don't see and we can't
believe because he's a terrible man.
And then she has had a child with him whom we can believe she
is she loves. And she wants to protect him
from all the evil around them. And so it's like a Harry Potter
(14:31):
mother situation. And I'm guessing that's why they
called him Harman. But that's you made a long shot.
Are you really? Clutching at straws.
And that's my long shot look. Otherwise it makes no sense.
No, like what the hell just happened?
Like why it's important, why themovie should be A twist.
The movie should be like just shaking my hand for even giving
this much thought. It is A twist movie right?
(14:53):
It is like that Abbas Hussain movie where Kajol is the year at
the end. Like the end where?
You want to like reconcile the father and son.
You are now wasting your time tomake other nonsense I mean.
In all honesty, like Kajol couldhave just been Kajol and she
could have delivered that lecture anywhere.
Yeah, You didn't have to be a spy.
And then Oh my God, look at me, I have been a double agent all
(15:14):
along, etcetera, etcetera. Who care?
You could reformed. With love and I passed and love
down to you but. Whatever.
Not like how we don't care. Yeah, we haven't seen what you
show us. At least have like some random.
Is like your male characters andthen you're trying to generate
like some path horse with like the female character who you
(15:35):
ignored the entire movie and you.
Briefly murdered, yeah, and Matlab Toda Servo flashback
holder where they're playing with like this little child or
whatever. But do you really honestly
expect me to develop any sort offeelings based on just 5 seconds
not? Also because then those scenes
are again, like femined in a waythat Vijay feels like the POV.
(15:55):
Yeah. Yeah, it's him.
Always, Yeah. So then you're not.
You never, never putting me in the lens of like this character.
You want it better. Satya Prem Katha's syndrome
where everything is it's not really about Vijay and he's the
least interesting person of the movie.
Like a semi. Villain.
He is a. Full on villain, right?
He anybody who has who says thumbs up to kill my child is
(16:20):
straight up villain. Like unambiguously A villain.
This movie is about the Reformation of a villain,
basically, right? Which is why I'm wondering key
intentional Tak in ETA, because army is villain, terrorist is
hero in this, remember, Yeah. What an unintentionally amazing
delivery mechanism they have. Yeah, it's.
Insane, fully insane movie. Shameful also.
(16:41):
And then they'll go to hydralize, screen this movie for
like the Army and they'll get like pat on the ETA.
Oh my God you're showing the Army and now people watching
this and like why favorite this?And Shuruma Atta we had like ADG
Co. Thank you and all.
Yeah, because. Obviously you need if you want
to like film anywhere around these locations and clearly and
all of them read the script before they like allowed them to
(17:03):
shoot around their location I. Wonder what the script was
because clearly like they're trying to.
Then there is a version of this where Prithviraj is even more of
a villain, and I'm sure they're trying to sugar coat it a little
bit in the version. Oh my God, what have you shot?
We can't show this India's like nationalistic army will like
(17:23):
yeah, I said like what was the Anil Kapoor movie where he was
like playing some officer and fighter that something that Air
Force had raised the issue or something?
I have no. Memory.
He was, he was an Air Force and fighter, but I don't remember
any controversy around that either.
Yeah. IF had objected on showing some
flag or some their countries their symbols in the on his
(17:45):
uniform playing a officer wait for.
Them to watch this one then, yeah.
Exactly right. Like burying the thing, like
some like inaccurate uniform andhe's like, he's using galis and
all. This is not how IAF officers be
here. Yeah, nobody like.
Seeing what the part that our country is going down, I
wouldn't be surprised if they'relike, huh, OK now, but who cares
(18:07):
the. Movie is.
Not like it doesn't even I am. Either you show me like what the
parents did in those eight yearsor you show me what the kid did
in those eight years. It is so stupid.
Like the only interesting part of this movie is the part that
happens off screen. RB-8.
Years and they've filmed everything around it so entire
(18:30):
movie should be 8 years. Kazoo exploration exactly like
show me like intercutting between the two like house in a.
Nutshell, like Bollywood, this is the level of.
Like when you have no idea whereyou like you get a story which
like has emotional like good stress ground to cover.
I have completely no idea where to work.
(18:51):
This is like full. You know, sometimes I'll read
like a news story where like, oh, like some gas cylinder
exploded and three people died. I'm like a children at the last
like sentencement, like, OK, thegas cylinder belonged to the
Prime Minister of India. I'm like what?
Where to bury the lead, bro? Yeah, I'm.
Off screen, you're like, OK, November.
(19:13):
I can't even imagine people likethis.
Like people will obviously not like this, right.
Also, it feels like very obviously they've cut around
Ibrahim, you know, whatever lines he had or things like you
don't really see him much. Yeah, he's.
Like a modern day Keanu Reeds minus the all the action
ability. Yeah, minus.
The screen presence, yeah. So I don't know what left at
(19:35):
this point, but you know what I'm hinting at.
Oh man, yeah, this is great going Dharma, Yeah.
You like, I wonder like if they like because Dharma doesn't have
an active deal with like HotstarHotstar, right?
No this. Is probably like Netflix,
Amazon. Yeah, exactly where I was.
Going I was like, they went to their usual partners and they're
(19:56):
like, we will, yeah. Otherwise, why?
Would you go to like? Also Jio is the kind of place
where you could sell a movie forlike no money.
And as a favor, OK, please just release this.
Yeah. You know, and because nobody
else is buying it, and you're like, yeah, but it'll just
disappear in two days, right? So who cares?
Yeah. Honestly, at this point, it's
like I can we can say big three in terms of like purchasing
(20:18):
power, but I feel like it's now like Netflix, Amazon and then
like it's like Sony Live will come before Hotstar now
possible. Yeah, Hotstar.
Would literally buy anything andnot that they would.
Do you own like. Yeah, except.
Penthouse, which we've been waiting for five years now.
Oh yeah, why does? Nobody buy that.
I will literally like, put it onVOD.
I'll pay money to see. Just to see it.
(20:39):
Cabana. Yeah, like what?
How back is something before theIndian industry to be like, no,
sorry, we can't let anybody evensee.
Like what? The item of it?
I mean one frame, one frame you've seen, we can't see them
even see a trailer of it. What was that?
The clown who died. What is that infamous movie?
I can't remember the, I'm going to Google it quickly.
Sure. Yeah, Penthouse.
And like we've done, we'll discuss this point like we had
(21:01):
listed like some. The day it's it's called the day
the Clown Died. OK, It's Jerry Lewis, and yeah,
five hours have been shot, but nobody has seen it because it
was apparently about a clown imprisoned in a Nazi
concentration camp. Oh.
God and who should have not get caught in green lit?
(21:21):
So, yeah, Penthouse, yeah. When Taos chakra esperas he had
counted like all these movies once but like and.
Two seasons of two seasons of Yeah.
That too is our North Star Dailyseason.
I will sign off. I'll be like I'm done streaming
Universe over. Don't need to watch anything
more anyway. Yeah, time to Rapido.
(21:42):
That's all for this episode of The Long Take.
You can follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and threads
at the Long Take Pod. You can write to us at the Long
Take podandgmail.com. Please leave us a rating and a
review where everything's episode and we will see you next
week. Thanks for this time.
Bye.
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