Why You Keep Trying to Fit In - and How to Finally Break Free

Have you spent your whole life trying to fit in? Are you the square peg in a round hole - exhausted from trying to smooth your edges, straighten your lines, and be more like everyone else? Do you feel like your difference is a flaw you need to fix?

What if it's not? What if the parts of you that don't fit are actually your greatest gifts?

This episode explores the "wiggly line philosophy" created by musician Jacob Collier: the radical idea that we weren't born to be straight lines. We were born to wiggle. Yet somewhere along the way, most of us learned to straighten ourselves out - to fit in, to be acceptable, to stop being "too much" or "too different."

Through neuroscience, personal stories (including my own crayon-coloring confession), and the power of celebrating difference over conformity, this conversation reveals why your wiggle isn't a flaw - it's freedom. And how giving yourself permission to be different might be the most powerful act of self-love you can practice this holiday season.

🌱 What You'll Discover

• Jacob Collier's wiggly line philosophy and why it matters for your mental fitness
• The literal ways we learn to "straighten" ourselves (and the cost of doing so)
• Heart rate variability (HRV) and why our bodies are designed for wiggle, not rigidity
• The crucial distinction between wiggly lines (freedom) and wobbly foundations (chaos)
• Why trying to fit in during the holidays amplifies the pressure to conform
• The Wiggle Check-In: a Tiny Tool to reclaim your authenticity in real-time
• How difference creates connection, not division - when you show up fully as yourself

💬 Powerful Quotes

"We weren't born to be straight lines. We were born to wiggle."

"When we can't wiggle 'correctly,' we often stop wiggling at all. We go silent. We withdraw. We make ourselves smaller."

"Your wiggle isn't a flaw. It's how you were designed."

"At a biological level, we're meant to wiggle. High heart rate variability - high wiggle - is a sign of health."

"The world needs wiggly lines. They're what create connection, real connection - because when you show up authentically, you give other people permission to do the same."

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 - When your crayons refuse to stay inside the lines
 04:12 - Jacob Collier's wiggly line philosophy
 07:33 - How we learn to straighten ourselves (and why we stop)
 10:58 - The collective experience: we all do this
 13:27 - Holiday pressure to perform "perfect"
 15:49  - The neuroscience of wiggle (HRV and resilience)
 18:22 - Wiggly lines vs. wobbly foundations
 20:15 - The cost of straightening: what we lose
 22:40 - The Wiggle Check-In (your tiny tool)
 25:11 - Permission to wiggle: the invitation

This episode is for you if:

• You've always felt like you don't quite fit in
• You're exhausted from trying to be like everyone else
• You're navigating holiday expectations that don't align with who you are
• You want permission to celebrate your difference instead of hiding it
• You need the neuroscience behind why authenticity matters
• You're ready to stop apologizing for your beautiful weirdness

This is an inside job. Share this episode with those you love. 💛

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Thank you for being here. You are enough. ✨