030 Start Where You're At: The Philosophy Of Fitness Ep. 20

Episode Transcript
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Cody (00:16):
Hi, this is Cody Limbaugh.

Tali (00:17):
And I'm Tali Zabari, and you're listening to the
Philosophy of Fitness podcast

Cody (00:22):
on the Lyceum network.

Tali (00:44):
Hey doll.
Hey, baby.
Did you come up with anicebreaker for today?
Since I did I handed it off

Cody (00:49):
to you.
Yeah.
So you have some travel comingup, you Uhhuh.
You have a couple of.
trips planned.
Right.
I thought you might wannamention one or two of those and
then give me, like you asked meearlier today, where would you
want to travel for just you andI?

Tali (01:04):
Oh, sure.
So every year my mom, my sisterand I, we do a Three Musketeers
girls trip.
And I think we've been doingthis for like 10 years now.
We tried to come up with thelist the other day, or actually
like the last time we saw eachother of all the places that
we've gone to.
And we try to go somewhere neweach time.

(01:25):
So this year we're going toSouth Carolina, which is cool
cuz none of us have ever beenthere.
And our trips often surround ashow that we wanna see.
We love theater, we lovemusicals ballet, anything on
stage really.
And we're gonna see jaggedlittle Pill, which.
some sort of onstage experienceof Alanis Morse's album that was

(01:47):
just super major in our familywhen it came out.
And so we'll be going there inMay and then I'm going to Taylor
Swift, which is so exciting.
I am often happy dancing or justreminding everybody around me
that I'm going to Taylor SwiftAnd I'm gonna be going in June
in Seattle and I'm going withmy, one of my best gal pals Thai

(02:11):
and some other gal pals of minewho are maybe more age
appropriate for a Taylor Swiftconcert.
But yeah, I'm freaking

Cody (02:18):
out.
Cool.
Yeah.
And then so that's what you gotcoming up.
And then where, where are youthinking that you and I should
go in the next year?
Well,

Tali (02:26):
I kind of wanna follow the same idea that we do for my
girls' trip with my mom andsister is we should go summer.
We haven't been yet.
Mm-hmm.
and.
I know that once we startgetting some traction with our
company, like I want to ofcourse reinvest that money, but
I also wanna celebrate our wins,right?
Sure.
Yeah.
We, we celebrated our win ofsigning up with our business

(02:50):
coach, and I think that that's areally sweet gesture to do every
time.
And I don't know, I think it'dbe really fun to like, go to
Austin maybe New York.
Maybe you've been to New Yorkbefore.
I have.
Good point.
Austin's a good idea.
I would love to go to Austin.
It sounds fun.
Yeah, it does.

(03:10):
It's, and it's hard thoughbecause we keep saying how all
of the trips that we go to arelike end up with family.
Mm-hmm.
Ken's in, in Texas, so thatmight be really hard to go there
and not see'em.
And then I was thinking Hawaii,but my cousins live there.
Well, you have familyeverywhere.
I know it's hard.
Yeah.
And we talked about Montana, butwe're gonna go through your
sister.
Yeah.
So it's kind of hard for us tofind a place that like we can

(03:30):
just go you and I.
Yeah.
And not try to rope everybodyaround it.
But I have to say that's thestruggle of not living close to
family.

Cody (03:37):
Yeah.
Cuz we do wanna see them all thetime.
I do.
So it's like, if you're gonnaput the time and money out to
travel, it's good to connect.
But I think it's important thatwe do that just for ourselves at
some point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
in a similar vein for me, I usedto go to Mexico frequently.
Mm-hmm.
annually.
There was a conference that kindof started all that and then we

(03:58):
stopped going, or I stoppedgoing to the conference, but I
kept the tradition of goingevery year.
Right.
So it was really cool.
And when I would go to Mexico,it wasn't like a weekend in
Cabo, it was like six weeks Andso I would go down there for
Yeah.
Anywhere from a month to sixweeks at a time and hang out
with some really dear friends ofmine that I hardly ever get to

(04:20):
see.
And in the last few years, notonly have I not gone to Mexico,
I have hardly seen them at alleither.
Right.
It sucks really bad.
So that I would like to try toget back to that tradition
somehow.
Okay.
But for you and I, I think thatAustin is a great idea.

Tali (04:36):
Yeah.
I wanted to pick somewhere thatwasn't too far.
Cuz if you and I are talkingabout like international
traveling, like.
I have a lot more Oh yeah.
Ideas.
That's easy.
Yeah.
But in terms of like, wherecould we go away for a week or a
little less, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Still be able to keep up withbusiness recording, things like
that.
I think of something a littlebit closer in, and I've always

(04:58):
wanted to go to Austin.
It sounds really fun.
Cool.
Great music.
Supposedly

Cody (05:03):
I'm on board.
Let's, let's start kicking thatcan.
Okay.
So today the topic is startwhere you are at and this is
something that has come up a lotof our episodes for the
philosophy of fitness.
Of course, we're gonna haveoverlap and we're gonna
reiterate some things that we'vetouched on in the past, but

(05:23):
we're gonna go a little deeperon this before, cuz we have
mentioned how silly it is for usas coaches.
When people tell us, well, Iwant to like get in shape or
like get.
I wanna be ready for CrossFit,so I'm gonna wait to sign up
until, you know, six months fromnow until while I'm doing this
like at-home workout thing orwhatever.
You know, it's like they have toget ready to get ready to get

(05:44):
ready, right?
And they don't understand thatour role as a coach is to
prescribe an appropriateexercise to you and an
appropriate program to you.
That's why we call it aprescription model.
We prescribe things to you.
It's not just come in and getyour ass handed to you.
So we're always trying toencourage people to just start

(06:05):
wherever you're at.
Just start now.
Like wherever you are, you don'thave to get ready for anything.
Yeah.

Tali (06:11):
You can even drop that you are at part.
And just, just start, Juststart.
Yeah.
Yeah, the phrasing on this oneis kind of interesting.
I've worked in many, many gymsand this has been a common theme
in almost all of them.
Meet your clients where they'reat, and.
I never really understood whatthat meant.

(06:32):
Because everybody who goes into,I'm speaking about CrossFit just
because it's a, it's where Iworked at the longest, but, you
know, as a client of CrossFitbefore, you know, you just kind
of like jump into the fold.
There are modificationsavailable to you, but in a way
you have a lot of agency interms of how far you wanna push

(06:55):
yourself.
Mm-hmm.
And very rarely did I findcoaches being like, okay, I want
you to move to this.
Coaches are very different interms of like how hands on
they're gonna be and how muchcontrol they wanna have.
Some can be really militantabout it, and then some are cool
with you just choosing your ownadventure.
And so I don't think I reallyunderstood this concept until I

(07:15):
started working with clientsone-on-one.
It made it a lot more apparentwhat that means, and I was able
to see a.
My clients, you know, back toback, you know, any given day,
I'd work with maybe fivedifferent clients and I could
see from one to the next veryeasily how they really differ in

(07:35):
their ability to challengethemselves.
How much of their life isinterfering with even being able
to show up.
And they all did the sameprogramming.
I would run the same, likeCrossFit.
I would run the same programmingthat day.
But the sessions would be wildlydifferent from one to the next.
Sure.
So I just thought that was aninteresting dynamic when it

(07:56):
comes to this concept becauseit's been talked about so much
and I didn't really get it untilvery recently, I'd say in my
coaching career.
Mm-hmm.

Cody (08:06):
Yeah.
Well, I, I like the idea ofthinking of it like prescription
because.
too much medicine will kill youand not enough is not effective.
Mm-hmm.
And so it's a matter of dosingthings correctly.
And so more is not better,faster is not better.
You know, that, that's somethingthat, and I think this may be

(08:27):
cultural.
I, I'm not worldly enough toknow but I feel like it's a
criticism of like Americanculture specifically.
Is that like more is better,better means more.
And so kind of like sprung outof the whole decade of greed of
the eighties or whatever.
Like there's a whole bunch of,are we attributing that to the
eighties?
Well, it's like sort of amythos, I guess in, in our

(08:49):
culture is like to blamecertain, you know, political
aspects for this.
But it is definitely a thing inour culture where even though
we've gotten away from like thebigger the car, the better it
is.
You know, we've gotten, gotten,gotten away from that in
specific domains.
Okay.
But I still think it's sort ofin the zeitgeist, like in the.

(09:10):
In the ideas of the culturealtogether is to be more, do
more.
You, you've gotta stand taller,you've gotta have more money.
You've gotta be, you know,bigger, faster, stronger, you
know?
Right.
Yeah.
And all the above.
Yeah.
And I'm not knocking any ofthat.
Of course, I have nothingagainst achievement or striving

(09:31):
for achievement, but there'sthis sort of idea, I think it's
almost like we're all being,treating ourselves as if we're
not good enough for anything wewant out of life.
Hmm.
And so to me it's, it's it'smore intelligent and it's closer

(09:52):
to reality to try to make surethat your dose is correct and
not just more, and it's not justexercise, like I said, you know,
we can take it out of the gymand just think about personal
finance or something like, Imean, do you need to be a
billionaire?
You know, maybe.
Six figures is just as good as abillionaire if you don't, you

(10:15):
know, just depending on what youwant out of your life.
Mm-hmm.
like, it's, it's very dose, it'sindividual dependent.
And so you can dose thingsproperly in how you manage your
money, how you want to invest,what type of relationships you
want to have or whatever.
All these different aspects oflife.
I think we can shy away fromthis more as better idea.

Tali (10:34):
You had said something about how we're kind of imposing
on ourselves that we're not goodenough to begin whatever
endeavors.
Mm-hmm.
we have in mind, and I had anote here that really embracing,
like starting where you're at isreally an act of self-respect
and a very loving thing to dofor yourself because it is so

(10:54):
easy to always feel like you arestarting from a deficit.
Mm-hmm.
In our attempts to be ambitious,which I think is great.
Sometimes that gap can feel sohuge that we become overwhelmed
by how daunting it is and thennever start.
Like you said, that's totallypossible if you can't really get

(11:17):
a clear look at where you're at.
I think I wrote an article forCatalyst once about getting real
with your numbers, and that wasbecause there was a point in
time where I had kind of learnedthat a way of training and
weightlifting, you could kind ofuse your theoretical maxes as
opposed to your real ones.
Because the thing about a onerep max, when it comes to a very

(11:41):
dynamic movement, like a snatchor a clean and jerk, is.
Everything has to go right.
Mm-hmm.
on that day mm-hmm.
to really know what your trueone, one rep max is.
Yeah.
And a lot of times you will notget that data in one day.
You might not get that data atthe end of a training cycle.
And so you kind of have to takeall of the rest of the data into

(12:01):
account of what you canrealistically achieve, which can
be, give or take five to 10kilos.
Mm-hmm.
it'd say that that's like asafe, healthy boundary or like
3%.
Right.
But what that can do sometimesis I think it can really
sabotage you.
At the same time too, I havetrained that way where I would

(12:21):
base my numbers off of 80 kilosinstead of 77 for my snatch
mm-hmm.
And what that would do is when Iwould miss lifts, I, it would
kind of like be apparent in myhead like, well, you haven't
actually done this yet.
Mm-hmm.
this isn't really realistic.
And so there was somethingreally valuable I think about
saying, okay, well maybe this isin my realm.

(12:43):
But I have to train with thenumbers that I actually have.
I have to train with what Iactually do know.
And it's kind of like a critiqueof the fake it till you make it,
which we've talked about manytimes.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Or fake it till you feel it, asmy sister says Where I like that
there's value to both, likepropping yourself up with your

(13:04):
potential is great, or where youwant to go is great, but there's
also something very humbling andvaluable about the realistic
situation that you're in.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that there's an easyvalue assigned to that as being
less than.

Cody (13:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think humility is real key.
Mm-hmm.
in, in all of what we're talkingabout so far.
And this topic is gonna branchout from here.
I have some notes that are kindof on a whole different track
here.
They're out there, yeah.
But while we're on this subject,you know, we, as far as people

(13:44):
saying that they want to prepareto be able to come in to do
CrossFit, sometimes, I don'tknow if it's even an ignorance.
the structure and the coach'sability to modify things to be
appropriate for them.
I think sometimes it's like,yeah, I know you can modify
things.
I just don't want to be the onein class that has stuff modified
for, like, they want to be, they

Tali (14:05):
wanna be at the top level as they start, or

Cody (14:08):
not even the top level, but they wanna be in the pack
and not the last one.
You know?
They don't want to start out asthe the new kid who doesn't know
anything, but you know

Tali (14:17):
what they don't realize, which I think is always like the
gosh, like just come, you know?
Yeah.
I'm just trying to get them togo, is that they might never
achieve that unless they havesomething to chase.
Yeah.
You know, they get to see it andbe a part of it and have kind of
the safe environment to try newthings.
And like that was the beauty ofCrossFit.
Like I would see someone rightnext to me who was, you know, a

(14:39):
good friend or whatever, whocould do pull-ups and I'd be
like, wow, I really wanna dothat.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
And that would be a drive andlike that person might help me
and.
Yeah.
All sorts of awesome stuff cancome out of it, but that
resistance, ugh.
Yeah.
Even for me, so hard

Cody (14:53):
to work against.
Yeah.
Even for me as a coach, I never,I wasn't too sure I would ever
be able to do a muscle up, but Imm-hmm.
watched enough training videosand went to enough
certifications and like,studied, studied, studied to
where I could coach people howto do a muscle up.
And I remember coaching a fewguys on how to do it and then
one gal how to do it, and then Iwas, I can do this, like I I

(15:20):
coaching other people to be ableto do it kind of taught me that
I could also do that.
So for sure, I know what you'resaying.
Like there's a huge differencebetween learning something and
experiencing something.
And it's been an idea that'sbeen floating around my head
since I read it in a book aboutsix months ago.
And it's Which book was that?
It was in the floor.
I thought

Tali (15:37):
I came up

Cody (15:37):
with that.
Oh no, it's the Brian Marrowrescue book called The
Immortality Key.
Oh, okay.
And in the preface, I believe itwas in the preface that was
written by Graham Hancock.
and he was talking about thepsychedelic experience and how
you can read all the books andyou can understand the chemistry
and you can listen to podcasts.

(15:57):
You can just go on and on and onand on and on and on knowing
about psychedelics and no amountof hearing people's accounts
will ever prepare you for whatit actually feels like to do it.
And so it was like, there's avast gap between knowledge and
experience in that particularrealm.
And he gave the analogy of sex.
He's like, you can watch sex,you can hear about sex.

(16:20):
You can learn about sex, you canmasturbate.
But until you lose yourvirginity, you just don't know
It's like, oh yeah.
It's like, kind of drives ithome.
And so I, I've been thinkingabout that concept a lot about
experience versus knowing, and Ithink it's really applicable to
our overall topic of today ofjust starting just do, because

(16:41):
you can.
Think that you are preparing forsomething by learning and
learning and learning and ormaybe even getting a coach or
whatever.
You can, you can do all sorts ofprep, but until you actually
start to move on it, until youtake action, you have no idea
what you're talking about orwhat you're doing.
Like you can think you know alot until you start to get into

(17:03):
it.
And I've experienced that sohardcore in so many things
lately.
for sure.

Tali (17:09):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think it's a big part ofit is just being open to knowing
where you are.
Like what you're standing reallyis in the community that you
wanna break into, or the sportthat you wanna break into.
And it's okay to be new atsomething.
Mm-hmm.
I just wish that we were moreforgiving of ourselves in those
situations.
You know, it's.

(17:31):
scary to be in a new realm andto feel like you don't know the
lingo or you don't know anyother people or mm-hmm.
you know, might not have thesupport that you feel like you
need, but you get to start tocreate that for yourself.
Like you don't need anythingelse to get started.
Yeah.
Like, you just get going.
Yeah.
And that's how you build thatconfidence, like in doing so,
that in and of itself is

Cody (17:52):
the work.
Yeah.
And I think there's, there'sjust a great value in the whole
fire, aim, ready scenarioinstead of ready, aim, fire.
I've mentioned it in a podcast,but I think it was a few months
ago, so I'm just gonna say itagain.
The classic adage is, ready,aim, fire.
And that was, you know amilitary command kind of thing
when people used to stand inlines and shoot at each other.

(18:13):
It's really strange.
But when you're citing in a gunfor the first time and you
don't.
Know if the gun is accurate ornot.
What you have to do is you haveto just pull the trigger at, you
know, somewhere close to thetarget.
You have to try to just shootthe best you can and then see
where the bullet lands and thenyou can make adjustments to the

(18:34):
rifle to dial it in and adjustthe sites so that they line up
with where you want to hit.
So the order really is you firefirst.
Mm-hmm.
so that you know what the hell'sgoing on and then you can aim
and then you're ready.
So it's, it's a backwards order,but that's how you actually get
accurate with that.
You have to take action

Tali (18:54):
first.
If that's not someone else'sbook title, like just take it I
think that's great.
I remember that being in therunning for one of your book
titles.
Yeah.
And I thought it was brilliant.
Yeah.
It's such a concrete example andit's so.
It's such a valuable analogy.
It really

Cody (19:10):
is.
Yeah.
And now you've experienced itcuz you got to sign on your own
rifle.
I

Tali (19:14):
did, but it wasn't couple months ago.
That extensive of an experience.
I mean, I'll bet Andrew learneda thing or two that day.
Cause it took like hours to signon his rifle.
Yeah.
But not, not mine.
Yeah.
He just, I'm good.
Really.
I'm really bummed that I didn'treally hunt in anything this
year cuz I was like, I feltreally ready.
You are ready.
Because last year I pulled thetrigger you know, I, I feel like

(19:36):
I really put myself into it.
But that's another story Iguess.
But hunting, we had a greathunting season this year.

Cody (19:43):
But that's a, you know, another great analogy is that to
think about hunting, like if youhad watched hunting
documentaries or read books onit, how, I mean, how close do
you think you could ex get toexperiencing that without
actually

Tali (19:55):
experiencing it?
Well, it's interesting that yousaid that specifically because.
I had thought about watchingsome videos about gutting an
elk.
Mm-hmm.
before doing it.
Mm-hmm.
and I kind of had the feelingthat if I did it, my initial
thought was that, well, I'llfeel more comfortable cause I
know what to expect.
Mm-hmm.
like there won't be anysurprises.

(20:16):
And then the second thought thatI have, because I feel like I
know better now, is that itmight deter me more to be
involved because I know toomuch.
Yeah.
And I'll already make decisionsabout it and I'll already decide
how I feel about it.
Mm-hmm.
where as, when I actually, ifyou're in it, you're in it
Right.
So when I did end up gettingthat elk with you I just kind of

(20:38):
like, I just kind of volunteeredand I was like, well, okay, I
guess I'm, I guess I'll do thistoday.
And you didn't even ask me.
I asked you, I said, can I helpyou with that?
Mm-hmm.
because there were two downedthat day and there was.
Part of our team working on theFirst Elk, and you were gonna do
the second there only, only

Cody (20:53):
two of us there that knew how to do it right.

Tali (20:55):
And two Elk And so we had to split up, and I knew that
it's a big job, and I figured,all right, well, I can be
utilized now.
And I also felt really compelledto help.
Like, I know that's gonna be apin in the ass for you to try to
do alone.
And so yeah, I think in turn,that allowed it to be a really

(21:16):
meaningful experience.
Mm-hmm.
like, sure.
I cried for a little bit, youknow?
Mm-hmm.
I had to stop what I was doingfor a moment just because I, I.
I wouldn't say like blacked outor anything, but I had so much
adrenaline mm-hmm.
rushing through me as I washelping, and then all of a
sudden it kind of hit me like,oh my gosh.
Like that's, that's what theirorgans look like.

(21:37):
And oh my gosh, I'm holding itsleg open so you can like split
it down the middle.
Sorry, this is getting gross,but it had all kind of dawned on
me at one moment that you weredoing what you were doing and I
was seeing all of it and it justovercame, I just, it washed over
me and you know, I was able toget back to it, but I'm glad
that I was able to experiencethat in the moment rather than

(22:01):
see it ahead of time and thenfucking dread it.

Cody (22:03):
And then dread it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a really good point.
You know, I've talked about howthinking plus time equals fear.
Mm-hmm.
you know, that that's kind ofwhat, that's where fear comes
from for a lot of things.
I'm not talking about theimmediate, like adrenaline
responsive.
Something jumping out at you,but the type of fear that keeps
us from doing things.
A lot of times it's just wespend too fucking much time

(22:26):
thinking about it.
Yeah.
And it builds up in our head,and I'm so guilty of this, I
know, I know this so deeplyabout myself, and yet still fall
into the trap you think of, ofthinking that something is gonna
be way worse to do than itactually is.
Oh.
Like whether it's a chore, likeit could be something dumb, like
a stupid chore that I have todo, or some task or a phone call

(22:48):
or something like that, that I'mjust like, oh God, I don't wanna
do this.
And then afterwards, like, whydid I build that?
You

Tali (22:54):
just need to keep pushing yourself in those situations
because, you know, I alwaysthought of myself as being
really non-confrontational andlike not feeling comfortable to
have difficult conversations.
And I find myself now like, howsoon can I make this happen?
Yeah.
Like, I wanna cross that off mylist.
Absolutely not good.
Out of like wanting that senseof accomplishment, which is
great.

(23:15):
Mm-hmm.
but I also don't.
Want, I don't wanna like sit onthis side of the fence and
wonder.
Yeah.
The wondering is worse.

Cody (23:24):
Yeah.
I've seen you approach that somany times since we've been
together and I've seen youimprove at it over that time in
that practice.
Really respect you for that.
Thank you.
And I look up to you a lot forthat cuz I thank you've seen it
in action many times wherethere's stuff with a
relationship.
You know, that's probablyprimarily the, the issue is
like, you know, confrontingsomething that's just not right

(23:47):
in a relationship.
And and you have had an approachof, like you said, trying to
like, when, when is the soonestwe can deal with this.
And then if it's like tomorrowor something, then you will talk
it out with me and we'll go overideas about how to best approach
it and stuff.
But you're not, you're nottalking it out with me for like

(24:08):
weeks at a time wondering how todeal with it.
And then try to schedulesomething.
It's like, no, let, let's dealwith this now.
And then between now and thetime I'm gonna be dealing with
it now, now we can strategize.
And I think so many people getthat so backwards.
They try to strategizeeverything up front.
And it kind of goes back to whatI was talking about with the
difference between knowledge andexperience.

(24:29):
How can you strategize forsomething you have no experience

Tali (24:32):
with?
Right.
Well I was just gonna say,that's how you change where
you're at.
Yeah.
You just have to fucking do it.
Yeah, exactly.
And that can be super fun.
Like you were saying, you seeprogress in me in that specific
regard.
And I feel it too, like theanxiety that I have about
confronting people or addressingsomething that might have been
uncomfortable or whatever itjust doesn't bother me in the

(24:54):
way that it used to.
Mm-hmm.
I used to agonize so much and.
that's how you change whereyou're at.
But you also have to beforgiving of yourself and maybe
even use some language like inthose moments like, Hey, I'm not
exactly sure how I want to saythis, or I'm, I don't want to
come off as rude when I bringthis up, or I'm not trying to

(25:16):
ambush you.
You know, you can kind of likeset some.
like guardrails for yourself orto like communicate that I'm
probably not gonna be very goodat this.
Mm-hmm.
but that's not gonna stop mefrom trying.
Yeah.
And just on that note, like withthis very specific example, one
of the fav my favorite tacticsthat I have learned when it

(25:37):
comes to having crucial and ordifficult conversations is to
explain what your desiredoutcome is right at the start.
Like, I'm hoping that we canclarify, yeah, what happened
last week, or I'm hoping thatyou and I will be closer because
I'm being vulnerable with you.
Yeah.
Setting that stage right aheadof time can really put down

(26:01):
people's guard and give you theroom for the conversation that
you really

Cody (26:05):
want to have.
Well, yeah, and I think havingclear intentions is very
valuable for the other person toknow too.
Yeah.
Not a, not, not just in like,taking their guard down, as you
say.
But just in knowing that yourintentions are good.
Yes.
You know,

Tali (26:21):
because that could be totally misinterpreted.
Yeah, absolutely.

Cody (26:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a great little sidetidbit.
there.
So I thought you might want totalk about our fitness lull a
little bit over the last severalyears because when we met, I
know it's years with an s now.
Yeah.
But with, when you and I meteach other and first started
dating, we were all hot for eachother because, because we were

(26:45):
hot.
We were hot, we were like, wewere both in the best shape of
our lives.
Yeah.
And so I was 42 and for thefirst time, In my life at 42, I
have a photo of it So isn't

Tali (26:56):
it on our wall?
I can't see it cuz there's that.

Cody (26:59):
Right now I have the closest to a six pack that I've
ever had in my life.
And I would go so far as to sayI actually captured it on camera
that I had, it was real that Ihad a sixpack and at the age of
42, it was crazy.
You were a smoke show.
I thought, because it had takenmy whole life to finally sort of
dial that in and got there.
I thought, oh, I'm, I'm gonnakeep this forever.

(27:20):
Like, I don't ever want to goback.
Jokes on you.
Yeah.
And then we moved to the middleof nowhere with major lifestyle
change and the covid thing thateverybody has been dealing with
for, you know, in the last fewyears.
And yeah, just a whole up likelife was upside down.
Yeah.

(27:40):
And so we got derailed.
Yeah, for sure.
But we have restarted and we'verestarted multiple times.
Yep.
Which I think is also anothervaluable lesson.
It's like just cuz you start andfail and start and fail and
start and fail and keeptripping, doesn't mean you don't
just keep getting up andrestarting again.

Tali (27:58):
Well, no, there's always been an element of reassessment,
which I feel like I try to throwinto this podcast a lot because
we are changing moment to momentour life, just hours
specifically have been changingmonth to month.
Things drastically change.
Like whether it's hunting seasonor winter or you aren't working
anymore.

(28:19):
Whatever, there's always somehuge wrench thrown into the mix,
and reassessment is super huge,and that means we have to change
our schedules.
Yeah.
We have to change when we'regonna work out or what kind of
working out we're doing in orderto feel our best, but also to be
realistic with what we can getaway

Cody (28:36):
with.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that just reminds me of ourworkout.
Yesterday.
We had plans to do a whole powerlifting session, and instead we
went down and we did five setsof five deadlifts, and that was
the whole fucking workout.
like we warmed up a little bit.
Of course, but other than ourwarmup, that was all we did, but
Well, but the thing is, but thething is is I'm not ashamed to

(28:57):
say that because we didsomething like, it would've been
really easy to be like, well, weoverslept.
We are, are slow moving.
We only had 30 minutes.
Let's just pick it up later.
Yeah.
But instead we went downstairsand we did something.

Tali (29:10):
Well, that's definitely the, something is better than
nothing.
Episode.
I don't know if we already didit.
Or if we're gonna do it butthat's always an important one.
But to back that up even more,so Cody had mentioned that we
did a power lifting session.
I am not a power lifter, I am aweightlifter.
Let's just say those are verydifferent things.
And I'm not trying to soundsnooty, it's just a lot of times

(29:31):
when I'm like, oh yeah, I'm aweightlifter.
People are like, how much do youbench?
Which, so

Cody (29:35):
I'm just gonna cla I'm gonna clarify cuz you don't want
to come across a snooty, but

Tali (29:40):
I already am.
I know it's already too late.
Well,

Cody (29:43):
I can give a kind of an analogy.
I guess that may not resonatewith everybody, but hopefully it
makes sense.
Okay.
A libertarian is a politicalphilosophy like libertarianism.
Is it political philosophy?
There is also a political partycalled the Libertarian Party.
They are two very differentthings because the libertarian

(30:03):
party does a lot of concessionsthat are outside of the
philosophy of libertarianism.
In the name of being pragmatic.
And so to clarify those twoterms, a lot of times, we'll say
Big L Libertarian or small LI've heard that libertarian.
And so small l libertarian meansthat you ascribe some value to

(30:26):
the philosophy oflibertarianism.
Got it.
Whereas a big L libertarian is alabel for a very specific group.
So let's take it back toweightlifting.
So weightlifting as two separatewords, like lifting weight is an
activity, but weightlifting,capital w is a fucking sport.
and it's a sport in theOlympics.
It's very specific sport withYes, with very specific

(30:48):
guidelines.

Tali (30:49):
I'm also gonna attribute maybe running my mouth a little
bit too much to my cram intaketoday, but yes, weight lifting.
The competitive sport thatconsists of the snatch and the
clean and jerk.
And then power lifting is alsovery strong folks who are
competing in the deadlift, theback squat and the bench press.

(31:10):
And so they often just get usedinterchangeably.
They're totally different, butpeople who are not involved in
the sport probably, or in eitherone of the sports just probably
don't know.
So we'll just take a moment toeducate here and this episode,
where was I

Cody (31:25):
going with this?
This episode is tangent City.
Goodness.
Yeah.
What

Tali (31:28):
was I, what, where was I going with this?
We might

Cody (31:30):
have to rewind the tape.

Tali (31:31):
Oh my gosh.
You had brought it up.
You had said something about mewith my weight lifting.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
So Cody had mentioned that weare power lifting.
Yes.
And so I have often said that Ihave no interest in power
lifting.
Primarily because it's, It's alittle less cerebral to me.
It doesn't feel quite asexciting.
The movements are super valuablebut I have used them as

(31:55):
accessory work for myweightlifting.
And so Cody and I have a lotgoing on right now.
We have made some room to trainmore effectively with each other
in the mornings, a full hour,maybe even longer.
And we also found ourselvesdoing a lot of different things.
We do weightlifting.

(32:17):
We did Power Monkey, which is areally incredible gymnastics
program by some friends of oursDavid and

Cody (32:26):
Sadie Duran, and, and check out the show notes.
Guys.
I'll link.
Whatever we talk about that'sspecific like that, check out
the description of the episodebecause I've been putting a lot
of work into that and yes, youhave.
I'm trying to make it easierbecause when I listen to
podcasts and I'm always tryingto take my own notes because
they don't provide links to thebooks they talk about and stuff

(32:46):
like that.
It drives me nuts.
But we do so check out.

Tali (32:49):
So we had those things going on.
Also, phase six fitness, whichis super, super fun programming.
It's very like flow likefunctional movement patterns
that I love so much.
We got ourselves like a yearsubscription, so I, I wanna be
using it.
And then we do CrossFit onSunday with some friends.
And so it just felt like we hadtoo many things on our plate.

(33:11):
Very hard to feel like we wereexcelling in anyone.
And as much as I.
To be weightlifting to thedegree that I think I should be,
which is a theme of today, Ineed to not think of myself as
Tali the weightlifter, you know,three years ago.
I have to think about who I am,what my body's capable of now.

(33:35):
And so I had just told Cody oneday, like, I just don't really
feel like I have the mentalbandwidth to lift in the sport
of weightlifting consistentlyright now.
I still wanna keep the techniqueat the forefront so I can commit
one day a week to that.
But I also feel a loss ofstrength and I really wanna
build that up.
So why don't we get back intopower lifting or get into power

(33:58):
lifting and just get reallyfucking strong this year.
Mm-hmm.
So that reassessment was supercrucial to come to that
conclusion.
But I also had to just admit,like, as much as I want to be a
weightlifter right now, like Idon't really have the interest
or the bandwidth or the strengthto do it.
and that doesn't mean that Ican't come back to it.
Mm-hmm.
it's just I've also let a lot ofthings go mm-hmm.

(34:20):
for too long for that to berealistic.
And I don't wanna get injured, Idon't wanna get injured.
I wanna feel like I have enoughtime to do it.
You know, weightlifting in onehour does not feel worth it to
me.
Mm-hmm.
to get enough out of it.
So I'm gonna like put that onthe back burner until I do have
that time.
But doesn't mean I have to letmy body go or my strength go,

(34:43):
which is the part of it that Ilove so much.
Yeah.
So that's where I'm at.

Cody (34:48):
Yeah.
I think so I think it's, I Iwanted to bring up that whole
fitness journey cuz it's, Thetheme of the podcast is start
where you're at, but it can alsobe like, restart where you're
at.
Because a lot of times I thinkwe get in our heads, and I can
bring in another analogy ofdrawing for this because there
were, there was a time when myskills at drawing far surpassed

(35:09):
where I'm at now.
And I was even looking backthrough some archives yesterday,
a couple days ago, came across abefore and after picture of a
student of mine that I used toteach drawing classes too.
And it's really amazing beforeand after pictures of her
drawings.

(35:29):
And it's like now I can't, Imean, I am, my skills have
atrophied severely, isn't that,and I have to.
Admit to myself that it's okayto just start where I'm at.
And part of my frustration withtrying to get into a drawing
practice again is I'm sofrustrated with what comes out
on the paper because I stillhave the eye for it.
I still, I still know Yes.

(35:51):
What it should be, quote

Tali (35:52):
unquote.
That's almost like a mean joke.
You know?
I have the same feeling withweightlifting where it's like I
have mentally experienced all ofthis mm-hmm.
and like my body is somewhereelse on that.
Yeah.
On that trajectory.
Yeah.
It's like there's a hugemismatch between what I know and
what I'm currently experiencing.
Exactly.
It's super strange.

(36:13):
Why, why?
Yeah.
I mean, it's not true thoughbecause in a way like I can
still clean and jerk, you know,75 kilos if I want to.
Yeah.
It's gonna feel really heavy.
Yeah.
And it might not be as, easy asit once was, but that's all
still in there.
Yeah.
Like I still know a lot ofthings that I'm gonna put into

(36:34):
that lift, that's gonna gimmethe advantage, blah, blah, blah.
For sure.
But drawing's kind of a hard onefor me to relate to because I am
not, I have not given much timeto any artistic craft.
Mm-hmm.
And so to think about that skillleaving you so to speak seems so
odd.

(36:54):
It's frustrating.
So like, what about people whojust have talent?
Well, does that just stickforever?

Cody (37:00):
So I think talent is, you know, it's just like genetics in
sports, right?
Like some people are built for acertain sport, but in, but that
does not mean that they're gonnabe the best at that sport if
they don't put in more work thaneverybody else as well.
Like it takes both.
Hmm.
I would say that there is someinnate talent in my drawing

(37:23):
ability.
My mother's an artist.
My dad has done art stuff in the

Tali (37:27):
past.
I've seen your self-portraitthat was on her wall.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh, I loved that.

Cody (37:32):
I think I was like 15 when I joined.

Tali (37:34):
Ugh.
And I, gosh, you were sohandsome.
in that drawing.

Cody (37:38):
So there's obviously some innate talent there as far as
just having sort of the physicalattributes, I guess, of being
able to see things in a certainway.
Mm-hmm.
But the actual skill of gettingthat down onto the paper is what
takes work.
And I haven't been doing thework, and so it's a constant
battle for me to, you know, Ikeep returning to it recently or

(38:01):
over the last year, but it'slike I return to it knowing that
it's probably not gonna come outlike I want, but that it is in
there somewhere.
Like I have the ability and so Ijust need to get back to
practicing.
But then the experience is stillfrustrating because sometimes it
comes out so much worse eventhan I thought it would It's
like, really bad.
This looks like some child.

(38:23):
It's like, so yeah.
It's frustrating.
It's

Tali (38:25):
heartbreaking.
It's almost like you feel likeyour past self is like pointing
and laughing at you.
Yeah.
Like, you should fucking knowhow to do this.
Loser.
Yeah.
But I, it's odd.
It's a really odd experience andit makes me feel old.
Cause it's like, whoa, I've hada previous life already.
Yeah.
Weird.

Cody (38:41):
See, that kinda makes me feel old too.
Like, yeah.
Washed up or something.
But but to try to put a, a morepositive spin on this I am also
trying to remind myself that,you know, when you, when you are
excelling at something and thenyou stop and maybe you atrophy
in a certain area when you haveto restart again, you're not

(39:03):
starting.
From where you left off, butyou're also not starting from
where you began.
No, exactly.
Like if you were to suddenlyspark a fire for weightlifting
again to the point where youwanted to compete, you would
already know so much more thanyou did going into your first

(39:24):
competition ever.
I mean, just indescribable howmuch of an advantage you have
right now if you were to startfrom scratch, quote unquote.

Tali (39:34):
Well, and there's also another benefit to it where
you're almost able to start withfresh eyes.
Mm.
You can kind of decide what youwanna let go of and what you
wanna move forward with.
And we've talked about that asjust a part of our life cycles
as people.
But you can think about that interms of your craft as well, or
your passion, or your hobby orwhatever you wanna call it, your
practice.

(39:55):
And so I think about that a lotwhen it comes to weightlifting,
like getting back intocompeting, but.
You know, what would that looklike?
Would I have a coach?
Would I have a team?
Like there are things that Ihave to be okay with not being
the same.

(40:16):
Yeah, well it can't be the same.
It can't be the same.
Yeah.
And I think a lot of peoplewould be trying to chase the
same feeling.
Mm-hmm.
you know, like I could verywell, I mean, obviously where we
live, this doesn't make it easy,but like, let's say you and I
moved to the city and I justfound another coach and another
team, and I could essentially doit all over again.
Mm-hmm.
But part of me doesn't wantthat.

(40:37):
Like I have a deep respect forwhat I've done, but I also want
it to be something different tomm-hmm.
living.
You know, how I don't reallylove predictability in life in
general.
And so that would be feedingright into the same game and.
I think that ability to recreatewhat you've already lived

(41:00):
through is maybe the mostimportant point there, that it
can be recycled into somethingtotally different,

Cody (41:08):
right?
Yeah.
So you can come into it withexperienced knowledge.
And perspective, like you said,that is an advantage, but you
can't go back and relive it.

Tali (41:21):
Well, and I have to learn from redo it.
Yeah.
I have to learn from it too.
And if I just do the same thingover again, I didn't learn Jack.
Mm-hmm.
So, you know, when it comes tomy experiences with coaches or
my love of training with otherpeople, like I have to pay
attention to those things.
Like I probably will not belifting competitively ever again

(41:43):
unless I get to lift with otherpeople.
Mm-hmm.
that experience is so excitingand fun and potent to me.
Yeah.
And what makes it meaningful?
Like that's how I could relateto other people.
And so if I'm doing it isolatedin my own gym mm-hmm.
then it's, I don't get sparkedin the same way.
I just don't.

(42:03):
Yeah.
But what if I just did thatinstead of working with a coach?
Cuz my experience with coacheshas not been great.
so, you know, get rid of whatdoesn't work and move forward
with what does mm-hmm.
And maybe that creates enough ofa, a different circumstance for
something new to emerge.
You know, like how excitingcould that be?
Yeah.
And I try to think about thatwith kind of creating like a

(42:27):
community out here, since itdoesn't exist, that's why I'm so
eager to get those stall mats.
I just feel like I have to keepchipping away at making more
room for more people to come.
Yeah.
I just want like a ladieslifting club so bad.
I can think of so many friendsthat I've made here who would
be.
Fucking bitching at it.

(42:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.

Cody (42:50):
I was side tangent.
So coaching our shared clientthis morning and was teaching
her a new movement and it's justlike, just immediately clicks
and it looks so great.
And I'm like, oh, man, tell'sgonna try to like recruit you.
What did you teach her?
Well, we're gonna start workingtoward the jerk.
And so today I just had her likepush pressing and that's

(43:10):
probably the most dynamicweightlifting movement she's
done other than your clean workwith her.
I was gonna say what with, withher cleans.
Yeah.
But I mean, like, she hasn'tbeen doing in her upper body
stuff, you know?
She's a sprinter, she's arunner.
So we've been focusing on a lotof hip stuff.
Well yeah, she just went rightinto it, like from, from a demo

(43:31):
to her performing it and it wasjust like, wow, that's just so
good And so yeah.

Tali (43:36):
Yeah, her body awareness is really great.
Yeah.

Cody (43:40):
So I had another note that is closely related to what you
were just talking about.
So you were talking about if yourestart something, we're not
starting from scratch.
We're not starting from where weleft off.
You know, you're not at yourpeak anymore.
Nope.
But, but you're also not anewbie.
You have perspective, you haveexperience and you have
knowledge.
Something else you have is youhave otherworldly experience.

(44:04):
So you have learned thingsoutside of weightlifting that
might actually carry over toyour next experience.
Where you to, should you getback into it?
Hmm.
And weightlifting may not be theperfect example, but I can think
of, for instance, my experiencein business.
So, you know, I've owned severalbusinesses and one of them was
for about 17 years in the gymbusiness and had a lot of like

(44:28):
failures and things to look backon.
Not so fondly, you know, justhaving to move cuz we couldn't
pay the rent and over and overand.
Really struggled, but kind ofkept it afloat for 17 years.
Finally just burned outcompletely.
Yeah.
And now we're restarting a newbusiness.
And what's cool though is thatwe're not, we're restarting with

(44:50):
knowledge, experience, andperspective on my old business,
but having stepped away from it,I also have perspectives on the
world itself and about myselfand about our relationship and
like all these different thingsthat are not even related to my
previous business experiencesthat are valuable for our new
business.
So I think that's just anotherway to encourage people to start

(45:14):
something if they've fallen offthe wagon, whether it's your
exercise routine or yourmeditation practice or some, you
know, relationship that's notwhat it used to be and you'd
like to regain the spark orwhatever, you know.
Y as you go through this life,you're picking up skills and
knowledge from all sorts ofdifferent areas that you can
bring to the table the next timeyou go in to start that thing

(45:37):
over again.

Tali (45:38):
Yeah.
It's so tricky cuz you know,every time we talk about like,
clients who take two weeks offand we're like, ugh.
Like that's just gonna ruineverything You know, I feel like
I want to change my strongopinions about that, of how
detrimental it is.
Because I think that there'sgotta be something really

(45:59):
valuable to this, like startingand stopping and reassessing and
mm-hmm.
Adjusting that we're alwaysdoing as long as there's still
effort.
You know, cuz obviously if youjust let go of everything,
you're at a standstill or you'reatrophying or you're perishing,
you know, there's, there's aninverse effect or an.

(46:20):
A different direction you couldbe taking entirely, but yeah, I
just, I just don't wanna feel sodefinite about certain things,
and I think that that kind offlexibility is really important
for this topic to meet peoplewhere they're at or to meet
yourself where you are at.
Mm-hmm.
It's, it's a respect, it's likean, an understanding and an

(46:43):
acknowledgement of what you canhandle at this point in your
life.
And to assume that you couldhandle the same things that you
did when you were 42 or 26.
Mm-hmm.
It's just really naive to thinkso.
I, I believe.
Yeah.
But I'm kind of interested insomething I had just said and I
didn't think about it.

(47:04):
You know, we're talking aboutwhere we are at, but thinking
about where other people are at.
Mm-hmm.
is something really important.
I think that should come uptoday because, you know, in the
beginning I had mentioned, wetalk about our clients all the
time, meet them where they'reat, meet them where they're at,
and I was like, I don't reallyknow what that means, But I'm
thinking about how you can usethe same idea for relationships

(47:26):
and having compassion for otherfolks who may operate
differently than you do, andbeing able to respect that, even
if it's not like where you wantthem to be, I guess.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I think about that a little bitlike with some family members of
my own that I feel like I havechallenges with and, you know,
I'm holding them up to standardsthat I set for myself.

(47:48):
That's not fair to put onsomebody else.
right?
They're an entirely differentperson.
Mm-hmm.

Cody (47:54):
No, that's a good point.
And I think that's probablyclosely related to what you're
talking about as far as arealistic assessment.
You know you can't usehypothetical numbers.
You have to live in the realworld, you know?
Yes.
And it's the same withrelationships.
You know, a lot of times we haveex, I mean, oh, I was so guilty
of this when I was younger, ofjust having an expectation for

(48:18):
what people, how people shouldrespond to certain things or the
way they should feel aboutthings.
And then is there anything thatcomes to mind Then when they
didn't, it was heartbreaking tome, you know?
Well, my heart, my, my highschool sweetheart, you know, I
remember, and this isembarrassing to admit, but just
keep in mind, I was 16 at thetime, but it's okay.

(48:40):
We love you.
When things were when I wasstarting to feel a little
insecure in the relationship, I,I will admit that I just, I
played this little game.
I thought, I wonder how she'drespond if I told her that I was
thinking of breaking up withher.
I was not thinking of breakingup with her.
I was.
Afraid that she was sort ofdrifting away and I thought this

(49:00):
might spark a conversation.
And

Tali (49:02):
so I said, or at least give you an idea of like where
she's at.
Yeah.
I mean, I, this is not, you'renot the only

Cody (49:09):
person who plays cases.
Oh, I'm, I know, but I don't dothis anymore.
And so it's hard for me to, I'mglad Yeah, I mean, you and I are
just bluntly honest andforthright in every regard, so
Oh yeah, good.
But back then, 16 in love, and Itold her, yeah, I was thinking
about breaking up with her, andher response was so casual, it
felt like I got shot in thestomach.

(49:29):
What did she say?
She was just like, really?
Why?
And she was just like, shrugged,like, why?
And I was like, that, that's it.
Like, that's all you.
She looked totally relaxed andshe like kept eating, you know?
And I was just like, what thefuck?
Like this, this is not evenupsetting to you, I would
actually,

Tali (49:45):
I would read that very differently.
because that sounds like, like,I can imagine her being really
confused by you saying

Cody (49:53):
that.
Well, see, this is my pointthough, is that I had an
expectation for what herreaction should have been.
Mm-hmm.
And when it wasn't, it wasdevastating to me.
And it's because I wasprojecting my thoughts and
emotions and my thinking aboutthe whole situation onto her.
And when that didn't happen, itfelt like I said, like I said, I

(50:15):
got shot in the stomach.
I mean, I felt so terrible thatshe was so casual about it and
like didn't seem to give a fuck.
Well, honey played yourself.
I know.
And that's terrible.
So it's I think it's a reallyvaluable lesson though looking
back, you know, 31 years laterthat you know, having an

(50:36):
expectation for how peopleshould quote unquote respond to
things is the same as lying toyourself about your weights in
the gym.
Like, oh, I hit that one, liftthat one day, two years ago.
And I'm still using that as mynumbers for, for assessing my
performance.
It's like, that's not reality.
And in the same way youprojecting your thoughts,

(50:59):
feelings, emotions your, yourway of thinking about things as
far as your understanding ontowhat other people should do, and
the way that they respond isjust living in a fantasy world.
And we see that all the time,like on social media.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, all the time.
We, we were just having aconversation with this the other
day about like pronouns and, andthat kind of thing, and how

(51:22):
easily offended people can get.
Sometimes.
Sometimes when you're justasking a question, like, I'm
just trying to clarify andunderstand, and that person's
getting offended.
And it's like, well, the onlyreason they're offended is
because they expect somethingfrom me that is impossible
because I haven't lived theirexperience.
I haven't.
Right.
I don't know the same thingsthey know I Right.
I don't.

(51:43):
Have their life.
I'm not in their brain, butthey're expecting me to respond
a certain way.
And then when I don't, might belabeled a bigot or ignorant or
whatever, and it's like, well,I'm, I'm just trying to
understand

Tali (51:55):
here, Yeah.
Yeah.
I actually have a note here thatsays, you know, trying to assess
where you're at and operate fromthat vantage point, you are
really preventing yourself fromdisappointment and you're
preventing yourself from injury.
You know, figuratively speakingeven.
And I think about how we'vetalked about how there's the

(52:16):
tendency to either overestimatewhat we're capable of, and
that's how you hurt your back ina, back, in a deadlift
competition thing and mm-hmm.
you can also underestimate itwhere I have.
babied myself for many monthsbecause I was like, you know,
too afraid to put any weight onthe bar cuz I didn't think I

(52:39):
deserved it or wasn't ready forit or had thought that maybe I
didn't retain very muchstrength, even if I did.
And so, you know, we can teeterto either side but both can be
detrimental in different ways.
And so figuring out where you'reat, which I'm not quite sure how
you do that.
hope you have some ideas, but Ithink that it's something that

(53:03):
you have to, you have to figureout.
But I feel silly for saying thatcuz I'm not sure how to do it.

Cody (53:09):
Well I think figuring out where you're at is just what
we're talking about.
It's taking action.
Taking action, that's the actiononly way you find

Tali (53:15):
out where you're at.
And also being like, this is howmuch time I have to work out
each week.
Mm-hmm.
this is how many hours of sleepI can get each night.
Mm-hmm.
like.
It's so easy for us to talk inour like, idealistic way of,
this is what I wanna be doing,this is what I should be doing.
Mm-hmm.

(53:35):
Mm-hmm.
But like, what can you actuallyachieve?
Yeah.
And it's really hard to say itsometimes.
Yeah.
Because you might be showing adeficit.
Yeah.
You might be showing somethingobsessive or compulsive.
Like it's, it can be a littlejarring.
I

Cody (53:51):
have some, a really good analogy for that.
Yeah.
Or experience late recently, soI was on a call with our
business coach Mm.
Last week.
And we were talking aboutfeatures of our new product that
we're gonna launch and whatcould realistically be included
right away for like an initial,like a pilot offer kind of

(54:12):
thing.
Yeah.
And one of the things Imentioned that we could do is I
can easily modify, so I wrote a90 day.
course journal at one point, andit talks a lot in there about
gratitude and vision andaffirmations and things like
that.
And it's it's basically like itsown book.
I mean, it's a lot of content.

(54:33):
It's not just a blank journal.
And I think it could be easilymodified for our couple's
coaching that we're about to do.
We just add in some of thecouples things that we've talked
about wanting, right?
But gratitude and a sharedvision and all that is, is
really part of it.
And he's like, well, how real,how realistically, how long

(54:55):
would it take you to get thatput together?
And so I had to really stop andbe okay realistically.
I was like, that's a scary word.
I could probably do it by NewYear's, like, you know, five,
six weeks.
And he's.
We need to launch marketingwithin the next couple weeks.
So let's put that on the backburner.
That can be an add-on later.

(55:16):
Damn.
It's a nice to have.
Yeah.
You don't need it.
And I was like, oh shit, that'sThat's hard to take cuz there's
so much work already done in it.
And I thought, well, that'd be areally cool thing that we could
really do.
And I launch it out and he'slike, yeah, six weeks.
That's just, that's a nice tohave.
We can do that later.

Tali (55:33):
That's great.
And I mean, not great that itlike probably felt like a blow,
like a blow to the ego.
Mm-hmm.
But I really love working withsomebody who can do that kind of
thinking for us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you and I have atendency to get stuck on things
that won't have traction for a

Cody (55:49):
while.
Yeah.
And so getting, you know, thatkind of brings home the point
that you were just talkingabout, which to me, lately being
realistic about things hashelped me to learn how to say no
because man, I.
I am so guilty for a lot of myfailures in life is just trying
to do too much too soon, toofast.
Why everything now?

(56:09):
Like, everything's a priority.
You know, we, we just started abook called Essentialism, which
I think is gonna help with someof this.

Tali (56:15):
It's so ironic.
Yeah.

Cody (56:18):
But there's just this tendency, especially I think
with creative type people orjust anybody who's really
ambitious, I guess is just, it'seasy to wanna say yes to things
because it's exciting and oh,this will add to that and this
will improve my fitness in thisway.

Tali (56:36):
That's the same thing that you were talking about earlier,
about like the big car, the bigjob.
The more and more and more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In

Cody (56:41):
another way, in a, in a way.
But it is almost like you feellike you're gonna be better if
you do this other thing.
Another analogy might be like mymorning routine.
Like I, yeah, I want to.
contrast therapy, hot sh, youknow, cold showers and saunas,
and I wanna do meditation and Iwanna work out and I wanna read
and I want to pretty soon.
It's like this is a six hourmorning routine.

(57:03):
Like you can't do it all.

Tali (57:04):
That's an inside joke I have with myself.
When you call it a morningroutine, I chuckle a little bit
to myself.
It's

Cody (57:10):
myself morning, right up until noon.
Right.

Tali (57:14):
But that's how I see it too.
Yeah.
That's how I see it too.
And I'm excited about theEssentialism book, giving us an
idea of how to distill mo moreof our life.
Yeah.
Because it does feel verychaotic.
It does feel like there's somany moving parts and some of.
Are kind of non-negotiable atthe moment.

(57:36):
Mm-hmm.
like getting in firewood, ourhouse that we have to clean,
like, you know, we outsourcedcleaning our house at one point
and that was fucking great.
Can't wait to do that

Cody (57:45):
again.
Yeah, we will again.
But right now we're tighteningthe ship a little bit and

Tali (57:48):
the same thing with the business.
Like, let's just make sure wecontinue to record our podcast,
let's make sure we just keepworking through our coursebook,
that kind of stuff.
Like we just need to do the barebones and do them well.
Yep.
And the same thing with ourtraining right now.
Let's just do power lifting.
We both like to feel strong.
Mm-hmm.
we can do it with relativelyquick warmups.

(58:11):
You know, like, I love deaddeadlift day Love cuz it's just
like you can get right into it.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
With weightlifting it's like,gotta make sure all my joints
are doing all the right things.
You know, it's a, it's a lot to

Cody (58:20):
ask.
Yeah.
I'm looking forward to when weare launching our new coaching
program.
I used to be guilty of trying topigeonhole people into what I
thought they needed.
versus, that doesn't sound likea bad thing.
Well, he would be at thedetriment of their compliance.
Oh.

Tali (58:38):
So, oh gosh.
I really need to pay attentionto this cuz I feel like I really
well experienced this recently.

Cody (58:44):
It's not the only reason that people aren't compliant,
but I can think of specificexample.
A dear friend of mine, Kim shedid CrossFit.
I mean, that's how we met.
She joined my CrossFit gym.
Mm-hmm.
And she was kicking ass andeverything was great for a
while.
And then she had an injury.
I don't know that it wasCrossFit related, but it was
exacerbated cuz she had someshoulder issues and you know,

(59:07):
you kind of test the waters andit doesn't work out and
shoulders are hard.
She got, you know, it wasdiscouraging to have her being
modified all the time for her,not to me as a coach.
I, I love that stuff.
Yeah.
I love to help people out andfigure out how we can make it
work.
But I was constantly trying tomake CrossFit work for her and.
Not really paying attention tothe fact that she just didn't

(59:27):
wanna fucking do CrossFitanymore.
Mm-hmm.
you know, it wasn't just like,yeah, she can come in and I can
make the workout safe for herfor sure.
I know I have the skills to dothat.
And if we worked closelytogether, we could modify
everything to be very effectiveand safe and whatnot.
She just didn't want to anymore.
Mm-hmm.
and I wasn't listening to that.
And so, and it was kind of hardcuz we're really good friends.

(59:50):
So I think it was hard for herto tell me that she didn't
really want to do it anymore.
Sure.
And so she'd try other things atother gyms yoga, et cetera, et
cetera.
And I was always, I always triedto be encouraging cuz of course
I, I just want people to keepmoving and like improving and
taking good care of themselves.
So I was happy to see her tryingdifferent things to take care of
herself.

(01:00:10):
But I also found myself sort ofcritical.
It's like, oh, you should justcome in cuz it'll be better kind
of attitude about.
So with our new coachingprograms, I'm just excited to
approach it a little differentlysince we're gonna be working
with couples and trying tofigure out how they can work
together more as a couple,right?
It's gonna require us to programdifferently than I ever have

(01:00:31):
because I'm not gonna be tryingto get everybody to do CrossFit.
I'm gonna be like, what are hisgoals?
What is his time commitment thathe can do?
What does he like to do?
Where is his body at?
What are the assessments?
And then ask the same of thespouse, and they may be two
different things.

(01:00:52):
And so if they have differenttime commitments, different
equipment, like maybe one has agym membership, one's working at
a home, like there's, there'sthings in there that are gonna
require us to bend as coachesand be like, I would rather you
having, I would rather have youunder a barbell, but you don't
have access to one.
So here's what we're gonna doinstead.
And so, To me, I'm kind ofexcited about that

Tali (01:01:13):
because fuck, I'm glad you are.
Cause that's so nerveracking tome to think about

Cody (01:01:16):
Well, I just, I think that it's gonna help provide a more
valuable service to people insomething that they can be
compliant for.
Because we're being realistic.
We're meeting them where they'reat.
We're meeting them with whatthey need.

Tali (01:01:29):
Yes, you have to where they want, respect their
limitations.
But it's hard sometimes becauseI feel like people seek coaches
cuz they want to be elsewhere orthey need, they need to be not
where they're

Cody (01:01:43):
at.
Well, and that's where wellthat's where we have to decide.
And they process of like, okay,here's your goal here.
You're telling me you want this,but you only have time for that.
And I'm telling you as a coach,one of those has to change.
Either your expectations have tocome down because you're telling
me you only have 30 minutes, youknow, four times a.
You're not gonna win thiscompetition.

(01:02:04):
You know, like that kind ofthing.
It's like, it's up to us ascoaches to bring them to reality
and say, here's where you're at,here's what you can
realistically do.
And if you want more, you'regonna have to give up something
else somewhere else.

Tali (01:02:19):
Yeah.
I've had clients who haveexpressed very lofty goals and
are like, great, I'll see youonce a week.
And I'm like, mm, yep.
I don't have the same comfortlevel as you do where I've seen
you do this and it's brilliantwhere you're like, you know,
letting them know like, wellthat's not really possible with

(01:02:40):
what you are asking of me.
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna need you to commit toX many days or whatever, where I
have just kind of kept thatinformation to myself.
But I can see.
that isn't in, that's kind oflike the other big fault that
is, has been a theme of ourlives lately, where it's in your
hopes to either protect therelationship or your partnership

(01:03:03):
or whatever it is, bywithholding information.
Mm-hmm.
it doesn't help anybody.
Nope.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All

Cody (01:03:10):
right.
Noted.
Got it.
I'm glad that we've learned thatwith each other for sure.
So yeah, we, I think we touchedon peaks and valleys a little
bit because of our, you know, wemet in the best shape of our
lives and now we're not, butwe're working on it and we're
coming back.

Tali (01:03:26):
It's nice to have been there.
Yeah.

Cody (01:03:30):
The one thing that, you know, we, we talked about all
these like upsides, like, oh, wehave previous skills that of
course we can apply into thefuture cuz we haven't forgotten
the skills.
It's just a matter of re honingthem.
Yeah.
We've got the knowledge, youknow, we've got carryover skills
from outside.
You know, living life basically,that we can maybe apply to our

(01:03:50):
future training or whatever.
But one thing I used to tellpeople, and this was usually
just to get them through aworkout that sucks really bad.
Uhhuh, is, I would just saylike, instead of concentrating
on the fact that there's like150 reps to do in this workout,
the only rep that matters is theone you're doing and the next
one, that's it.

(01:04:11):
There's only two reps thatmatter, the one you're doing,
and the next one.
That's so funny.
And I would tell'em that whilethey're like sucking air, you
know, like on the floor, like,ugh.
I'm like, all that matters isthe one you're doing.
And the next one just focus onyour good, you know, form your
positioning, your movementquality right now, and then know
that you just have one more todo.

(01:04:33):
And it could be 150 more to do,but.
That's irrelevant.
It's just this one and the next,you

Tali (01:04:38):
know what I always thought was so annoying?
There would always be one personin the gym when it's like a
rounds for time workout, theyadd up all the reps.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, why would you dothat?
Why would you want to know?
Yeah.
How many reps you're gonna bedoing total?
Like yeah, anything's gonnasound terrible when you think of
like 50 pullups.
Yeah.
But when you think about, youknow, five sets, five sets a 10,

(01:05:01):
it's like no biggie.
Right.
Why would you do that toyourself?
And if you do keep it toyourself.
I don't wanna know it.
Yeah.

Cody (01:05:06):
It's better to know those things after the workout.

Tali (01:05:09):
Yeah.
And you could be really proud ofyourself as opposed to going
into it being like Exactly.

Cody (01:05:14):
Yeah.
But I think we do that in lifetoo.
That's what I was talking aboutwhere I build shit up in my
head.
Yeah.
That I think it's gonna be wayworse than it actually is.
And then I actually do it andlike, why?
Why did I build that up?
Yeah.
And it doesn't seem to matter.
It's like a weird rut habit thatI've gotten myself into.
Cuz I'll do it with all kinds ofshit like, You know, ranch
projects, or difficultconversations or hanging out at

(01:05:38):
a party?

Tali (01:05:39):
Well, so many things.
I think you just have to take alot of the components that you
and I talk about in thispodcast.
Not just this episode, but inthe other ones.
And they all build off of eachother, right.
There's just start, be preparedto pivot, try to enjoy it as
it's happening.
Mm-hmm.
what else can fit into somethinglike that?
A daunting chore.
The sense of accomplishment.

(01:06:00):
Mm-hmm.
you're putting reps towardssomething, not nothing.
Yeah.
There's five things, that we've,five different episodes that
we've had that can all feed intothat daunting chore.
Yeah.
And the just start always has tobe first Just start.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just start and, you know, fineprint.
Go in with curiosity.
Yeah.

Cody (01:06:21):
That's great.
You're just like are you readingmy notes?
No.
Yeah, you're, you're speaking mylanguage, reading my mind.
So, One thing about starting ifit's hard to start is you just
mentioned going in withcuriosity.
Yeah.
And I wrote down here like,treat things like an experiment.
You know, instead of putting somuch weight on your success at

(01:06:44):
something, try not to put somuch value on whether you
succeed or not.
And look at this as anexperiment.
I'm gonna learn something bytaking this action.
So whether that's a business orapproaching a potential date or
you know, like whatever it is.
Like it's an experiment.
You're, yeah, it probably sucksif you walk up to somebody and

(01:07:07):
ask for a date and they turn youdown, but you might learn
something like, maybe go intoit.
Or maybe that's one

Tali (01:07:13):
of those times where you don't get data sometimes you

Cody (01:07:16):
get data.
Yeah.
And that's frustrating, but lookat it as an experiment or, or a
new approach.
Yeah.
Or in the case of like thedating analogy, you're just
playing the numbers, right?
It's like, well, I, I don't wantto get rejected, but if she
rejects me, then I will do thislike 10 more times and I'm
probably not gonna get rejected10 times in a row.

(01:07:37):
Right.
Hopefully

Tali (01:07:38):
that is in the hopes that all the other variables stay
consistent.
So your optimism and enthusiasm,you're gonna have to keep that

Cody (01:07:45):
up, Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
But I guess my point is, is thatwe can put a lot of stock into
our successor failure atsomething before we even start
or try.
And I think it's Yes, wild.
It's silly.
Like I, we can just kind of goin and with a sense of wonder,
and that might app that mighthelp us approach it with a
little more action bias ratherthan too much planning if we're

(01:08:08):
not so wrapped up on whetherit's gonna succeed or fail.

Tali (01:08:12):
You know, I can tell when I'm not operating optimally,
when I find myself turning downdoing new things.
When I'm really like feelingmyself, like I'm up for
anything.
And my lack of willingness toexperiment or try or push

(01:08:32):
myself, like I know when that'shappening.
I can feel it.
I'm like, okay, something'swrong.
Mm-hmm.

Cody (01:08:38):
gotta work on it.
Yeah.
I love that about you.
I love that you recognize thatin yourself, that you, you have
a certain ideal for the personyou want to be and you are in
touch with whether you're livingthat out or not.
And then you take action tochange it when you recognize it.
Mm-hmm.
I try.

(01:08:58):
It's very admirable.
Thank you.
So one of my other approachesbesides treating things as an
experiment to get started isjust to set the bar super
fucking low.
Yes.
I kind of make the joke and Idon't know if anybody's actually
got the joke, but it's like, youset?
We'll see, you set the bar solow that you practically trip
over it.
So who doesn't get that joke?

(01:09:18):
Well, I don't know.
I, when I say it, people arelike, Uhhuh, So that's so cute.
But I, I just think that assomeone who's kind of an
idealistic person and I'm alwaysstriving to improve and, you
know, have great visions for mylife, it's easy to want to say,
oh, I'm gonna write a book,therefore I'm gonna sit down for
three hours every day, blah.

(01:09:38):
And it's like, Hmm.
10 minutes.
Maybe 10 minutes is better.
Like, start with 10 minutes ofwriting every day because you,
it's harder to make an excusefor that.
Can I ask for

Tali (01:09:50):
a favor?
Yeah.
Can we make some visuals to gowith some of these concepts in
cartoon forms, since you are thecartoonist of the two of us?
Sure.
Make a, make a note.
Okay.
Because do you, you know, thatcartoonist that you and I both
follow on Instagram, who makesall those really funny.
kind of dry humor jokes.

(01:10:10):
Yeah, I think that that would besuch a good one.
Somebody t chipping over likeset the bar low

Cody (01:10:18):
Love it.
So yeah, just a couplestrategies that I've developed
for myself because I used to bea massive procrastinator and
same, I would I would use goalsetting as an excuse basically
because you get like a littleendorphin hit when you set a
goal and then you start talkingabout it with people and you
start making plans and all thatstuff's.

(01:10:40):
Releases like the chemicals inyour brain that make you think
you're doing something and youain't done shit.

Tali (01:10:45):
Well, that's how I feel about our business sometimes
right now.
I've had a really challengingfew weeks working more at my day
job than usual, and we had beenout of town one weekend and then
I didn't sleep for like a weekstraight normally.
And so I didn't work out.
There was just so many thingscompiling on one another that

(01:11:07):
just made me not very effectivein a lot of areas.
And so I've had a hard timetalking about our business in
the last week cuz I feel like Ihave not touched it.
And so that's why this weekendhas been so important for me to
reengage.
Mm-hmm.

Cody (01:11:22):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's, that's the wholepoint though, is like
re-engaging

Tali (01:11:26):
right?
But also being okay to admitthat to myself, that no, I
haven't been working on thebusiness as much as I'd like or
as much as I.
I don't wanna say should, Idon't wanna should on myself,
but it's kind of like havingthat same like humble quality to
just be like, yeah, you haven'tbeen working on the business.
And I know that I feel badlyabout it.

(01:11:46):
Mm-hmm.
and I'm not trying to rub mynose in it, but I also don't
wanna romanticize it and likekeep pitching it in this flowery
way to other people.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
When I'm actually feeling likereally out of touch.
And I think that that's a goodquality too, like leaning in the
other direction and alwayscomplaining about things.
Also not really nice to bearound, but we've also talked

(01:12:07):
about kind of all this all barkand no bite kind of thing where
it can also be reallydisenchanting when it feels like
people are just kind of blowinghot air up your ass without
really anything to back it up.
And I really don't wanna be oneof those kind of people.
And I, I feel myself leaninginto that camp sometimes when I
find myself in these situationslike, not, not getting anything

(01:12:30):
done, but making changes.
Yeah.
To have that not be a trendanymore.

Cody (01:12:37):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's the thing that not tosound like I'm justifying
anything, but I think sometimesactivities that we're taking
outside the business are stillfor the business.
You know, like you are workingyour day job, for instance.
I mean, that's allowing us to.
Pay some bills while we're inthis initial launch phase of the

(01:12:57):
business where we can't expectto be profitable.
Yeah.
And so in a way, you are workingon the business in that way.

Tali (01:13:03):
I know, I, I can understand that too, but I also
miss you and wanna do it withyou.
Absolutely.
And I've also had to berealistic with myself.
Like I'm gonna have to let go ofsome creative control because I
know it's important for you tomake decisions and keep this
moving.
Yeah.
I can't

Cody (01:13:20):
wait for you to get off work to take any action.
Well, let's get to it.
I'm ready.
Okay.
We're gonna have a businessmeeting right after this, folks.
Woo.
So the last thing on my notes isimposter syndrome.
And I liked what you just said,Dory said, we'll give her
credit.
Fake it till you feel it.
Uhhuh.
I like that because that's kindof what really, it's not about

(01:13:42):
making it or not, it's about,because imposter syndrome is
feeling like you're notqualified for whatever it is
you're trying to do.
And it you cannot.
Change that without action.
You just can't, you can't feelqualified by doing more research
and more planning and more goalsetting or talking to people

(01:14:04):
about it.
Like we were just talking about.
It only, only action will changethat, but it can change it
really fast.
Like sometimes a very smallaction towards something helps
you feel more qualified to beable to take it on.

Tali (01:14:18):
Yeah.
So, man, I just always think ofmy mom when imposter syndrome
comes up.
She's an incredibly accomplishedwoman in her field.
She's in hospitaladministration, or I should say
healthcare administration.
She's been out of hospitals fora little while, but she, I
remember her telling me aboutfeeling imposter syndrome when
she was asked to speak atHarvard, fucking Harvard and

(01:14:42):
she's like, I so don't belonghere like this.
This must be a mistake.
And.
I, I know you've seen her speaklike at my sister's wedding.
Mm-hmm.
like her speech was so great.
Yep.
And hilarious.
But I've also seen her speak infront of a classroom.
She came to speak at my schoolwhen I was taking systems
dynamics, or I forget exactlywhat it was called in college.

(01:15:06):
She's fucking brilliant.
Mm-hmm.
she's super compelling and supersmart and really funny and
really cute.
So she's just the ideal publicspeaker.
And I just find it so odd thatsomeone who is so brilliant and
so up there to me feels thattoo, like, yeah.

(01:15:27):
Wow.
It just makes me also.
Love her more that I know thatshe experiences things that we
all do.
Yeah.
Cause it's easy to think thatpeople are otherworldly or
superhuman or something.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that that also canplay into, when I said you have
to meet others where they're at.
You know, I have to still loveher and have compassion for her

(01:15:50):
as someone who might not seeherself on the way that I see
her.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.

Cody (01:15:57):
I'd be curious to know from her, kinda wish she was
here for us to ask about how shefelt after afterward.
Like, I know that sheexperienced imposter syndrome.
I re, I remember.
When she said that, I wasn'tthere for it.
But she met you outside of ourapartment.
You guys went on a littledaughter.
Yes.
How do you remember thatdaughter date?

(01:16:19):
Yeah.
Yes.
You two went out.
Uhhuh And then I remember youtelling me that she had said
that, but I wonder how she feltafter the speech.
Like what I was just talkingabout.
Yeah.
I guess it was ahead of time.
Yeah.
Where you take action and thatchanges things dramatically.
So I wonder, I'm, I wouldimagine that once she started
talking on stage that a lot ofthose types of feelings

(01:16:40):
dissipated.
That would be my assumption, butI'd be great to get her
perspective on

Tali (01:16:45):
that.
I would love for her to be onthis show.
Yeah, me too.
All the

Cody (01:16:48):
time.
Okay.
Okay.
Mara, you've, you've officiallybeen invited, so, yeah.
All right.
We're, we're expecting it.
Yay.
Do you have any other

Tali (01:16:58):
notes?
No.
We went through all of

Cody (01:17:00):
my notes.
I feel like I've been pushingdown my list here.
Great.
Well, I guess we'll wrap thisup.
There's probably infinite thingsto talk about on this because if
we're really talking aboutaction and taking action and
developing an action biased andeverything that can do for you,
I don't, I think we barelyscratched the surface cause Well
I think that's, there's somesome big stuff I'd like to add

(01:17:22):
to this, but I think morespecifically in just starting
where you are and not trying toover prepare and just having an
action bias.
You know, you can't steer aparked car.
I've used that analogy manytimes, but it sure is app appli
applicable just to get moving.

Tali (01:17:38):
Well, and I think this is also a fun opportunity for us to
start to bring in questions andto come up with action steps for
folks.
Cuz I think sometimes whenyou're in it, it's very hard to
see what the next step is.
Yeah.
Realistically.
So we're creating some practicearound you know, facing where
you're at cuz that can be kindof scary.
It's essentially like lookinginto a mirror and.

(01:18:01):
Being honest with yourself,which is not an easy thing to
do.
Yeah.

Cody (01:18:05):
Yeah.
I think is a really valuablepoint that you bring up though,
is that starting where you aremeans being realistic with where
you're at.
Like you have to be real, youhave to acknowledge the truth,
be honest

Tali (01:18:16):
about it.
And it takes a few times, likethinking about what I was saying
about our business I can tellthat I'm still trying to bend it
with certain language.
So it sounds like I'm stillengaged with it, but I just have
to be honest, like I have notdone anything other than watch
module videos in a week.

(01:18:37):
Yeah.
And that's about it.
Yeah.
But that changes

Cody (01:18:39):
today.
It does.
So, Look at that.
Yeah.
Take an action.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
I love you.
I love you too, honey.
We'll see you all next week.

Tali (01:18:52):
This episode was produced by Tali Zari and Cody Limbaugh.
Check out our writing coachingservices and homesteading
adventures at live all yourlife.com.
For show notes, resourcesmentioned, or to submit a
question or contribution, clickon the podcast tab.

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