The Science of Friendship

In our first full podcast, we dive into the science of friendships.  Psychologist Robin Dunbar's 2022 book brought to light the Dunbar number - 150, which represents the maximum number of meaningful relationships a person can effectively manage. This concept really resonated with us and formed the core of our conversation.

We break down the layers of the Dunbar number. The closest circle, 1.5 people, includes an individual and their significant other. Then there's a circle of five close friends, who are those you can always count on for emotional support. The next layer comprises 15 good friends, with whom one might socialize regularly or plan vacations. A broader circle of 50 friends includes acquaintances like party guests or wedding attendees. Finally, the widest circle encompasses 150 people, those whom one would invite for significant life events.

Reflecting on our own friendship, we discussed how we've managed to stay connected despite periods of minimal contact. It's fascinating how shared experiences, values, and similar life stages play such a crucial role in sustaining friendships. We also touched upon the challenges adults face in making and maintaining friendships, especially when dealing with geographical distances or significant life changes like marriage or career shifts.

We also spend on the impact of social media on friendships. How do online interactions fit into Dunbar’s model, considering the often superficial nature of these relationships? We highlight the importance of genuine connection and active engagement beyond just digital interactions.

We also discuss "friendship pruning," where individuals might end or drift away from certain friendships that no longer contribute positively to their lives. Ending friendships can be difficult. We should normalize open conversations about the health of friendships.

Towards the end of our episode, we extended a challenge to you, our listeners. Reach out to someone in your life in a meaningful way, beyond just a quick text or a social media interaction. This challenge underlines the importance of genuine connections and active participation in maintaining friendships.

More: 

The Atlantic article on Robin Dunbar's Science of Friendhip (note paywall): https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/05/robin-dunbar-explains-circles-friendship-dunbars-number/618931/

Robin Dunbar's Book on friendship: https://www.amazon.com/Friends-Robin-Dunbar/dp/1408711737

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