August 25, 2025 • 54 mins
Christine and Sarah kick off another laugh-packed episode of 'The Mental Funny Bone,' blending mental health discussions with side-splitting stories. From online dating fears and podcast gods to entrepreneurial frustrations and fitness challenges, the sisters cover it all with humor and heart. They also dive into the struggles and successes of starting a new business, the importance of consistency and variety, and their upcoming meditation retreat adventure. Amid jokes and genuine moments, the conversation offers a refreshing take on navigating life’s ups and downs with a sense of humor and determination.
How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!
Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chris (00:04):
Hello and welcome to The Mental Funny Bone.
Why does it make me laugh?
Every time?
Every time you do somethinggross.
I'm like, it's, she's adorable.
It's so funny.
She burped and then she farted.
Not at the same time.
'cause that's not very, that'svery rare.
Um, go ahead, sorry.
Welcome to the Mental FunnyBone.
Go ahead.
I'm Christine and uh, this is mysister Sarah.
(00:25):
She, uh, burps.
A lot, but we are a podcastdedicated to mental health and
making sure that, uh, the peopleout there know that they are not
alone in their journeys tobecoming better human beings and
better mental, uh, fitnesswellness people.
Um, amen.
(00:45):
Yeah, amen.
Was it a prayer?
I don't know.
Was it the blessing?
Sometimes it feels like it, itfeels like the blessing.
Like we need to say these fewwords before we get started.
We need to talk to the podcastGods about giving us, giving us
funny shit to say.
I would like to say based on ourintro, can you imagine if I had
(01:05):
to do online dating?
Like my profile?
She says, fuck a lot.
She burps, she farts.
She also eats like and not saladlike a lot of wings.
And she likes Miller Light.
Right.
I thank God that I don't have todo online dating.
'cause it would just be, I mean,can you imagine the group I
(01:28):
would pull with thatdescription?
Poof.
Yeah, sorry.
You could do regular dating anddo just as well.
It's, the good news is I never,ever have to date again.
So that's really fucking cool.
That is the good news.
And I, I have found somebodyjust the normal way, not the
normal.
(01:48):
I mean, online dating is cool.
Whatever.
I found somebody in, in reallife.
No, that still sounds bad.
You know what I mean?
I, I hate to point it out, butyou, you just dated your boss.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Why wouldn't I, I feel likethat's, that's what happened.
I fell down the steps and hefelt bad for me and then dated
me and look at us now 23 yearslater.
(02:12):
I am also concerned about myaudio setup today because I
forgot to bring my headphoneswith me.
So, and I can tell by theconstant blue, surrounding by
little thing that it's pickingup every single I can hear.
Maybe an air conditioning.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Okay.
For sure.
I think it's loud also.
(02:35):
Alright.
No, that's gonna be great.
That's gonna be, that's what itsounds like.
We'll, we'll take care of thatin, post that, what we call it,
is it post.
We'll take care of that in, uh,edit sounds.
No.
Whatever, edit, whatever Beccadoes, she'll fix it.
Yeah.
Shout out to Becca, the intern.
We miss you today.
Be.
Becca's gonna do some help, uh,do some help.
(02:57):
Becca's gonna help me with somestuff.
I have a YouTube channel.
I also have a Pinterest page.
Tell me more about your pop.
Let's, let's pop it up.
These are two things I have towork on because I don't really
understand them.
And making videos I thoughtwouldn't be like that difficult
for me.
I tried and I just, it's likethe last one I think I made just
(03:21):
started with, this is fuckingstupid.
I don't know what to do.
So, so plan over panic.
Yeah, it has, it has beenlaunched for officially a month.
Yay.
I wish I had like graphics orsound effects to do like
fireworks.
Sounds great.
Sounds great.
Champagne pops or something.
I'll just do it with my hands.
(03:42):
You guys gotta look at theYouTube video'cause it's epic.
Off you go.
Yeah, it's, it's there.
I'm doing everything I'msupposed to do.
I'm not getting the resultsthat.
I'm supposed to get based onwhat I'm doing.
So that's kind of shitty andkind of frustrating, but it's
only been a month.
I didn't expect to have a fullclient list by now.
(04:06):
My, my subscription, mysubscriptions, newsletter
subscriptions are growing, sothat's good.
I have a couple potentialclients, but I think my first
client, I'm actually going tosuggest.
Someone else.
I don't, there's, there's lotsthat I don't really think I
(04:28):
should talk about on a podcast.
Cool.
I think, but from a businessstandpoint, it's a little
frustrating.
But I mean, think about how farahead of the game you are than
the people who have ideas abouttheir new business venture.
Yeah.
Um, when.
(04:49):
When I was doing a lot moreentrepreneurial things in the
workplace, the idea is alwaysthat you wanna, that you wanna
get started.
Mm-hmm.
And you wanna look at it and youwanna get something out there so
that you can move it and tweakit and make it better, but you
can't make it better until youget something out there.
(05:11):
And.
Just like when we were runninghalf marathons back in the day.
Mm-hmm.
Like we're the shittiest runsthat we had, ones where it
spiders came down out ofnowhere, like heaven, spiders,
circus, spiders, circus,spiders, and jumped on us.
Those were, those were better,those were better runs than
anyone who was sleeping on thecouch.
(05:31):
Right, right.
I've, I've, I've taken the step.
I'm moving forward.
I am learning and speaking oflearning, just started.
No, not just started, I'm justfinishing up, uh, CBT coaching
certification.
So cognitive behavioral incoaching.
It's technique, not therapybecause we're not therapists.
(05:53):
Yeah, you're just technique.
So I'm finishing up that andafter that I'm going to be
starting mindfulness andself-awareness coaching.
Do you wanna say hi to Oliviasuper quick?
Hi Olivia.
Hello Olivia podcast for amoment.
Hello.
Is she gorgeous?
(06:14):
Are you going to soccer practicenow?
I'm going to help the freshmenmove into college, which,
mm-hmm.
I don't know why I'm not afreshman.
Yeah.
But you're nice and you wannamake them comfortable, like big
muscles.
Yeah, I think that's why coachsuggested it.
'cause you're just gonna spendall day lifting.
Yeah.
(06:34):
Yep.
All right.
Good.
Good chat.
Good chat.
Good talk.
Good talk.
Good talk.
I love her.
I'm sorry.
Mindfulness.
No, I'm just, uh, after my CBTcertificate, I'm gonna start
working on mindfulness andself-awareness certificate.
(06:55):
That is, that is amazing.
Again, I think that there are somany, there are so many ways to
be, to be positive about yourpop.
Flat out just to, to havestarted it, to have organized as
much as you have organized.
Like I know that I'm your sisterand I'm going to cheerlead no
matter what.
(07:16):
So many people have these ideasand so many people feel inspired
to do this, and so many peopleare playing Candy Crush on the
couch playing farm games.
I gave up my farm game for this.
I mean, it literally like,you're like the poster kid for
people who, who, I don't know,like you got the farm game, you
(07:38):
got uh, dragon books you have toread, and you decided, you know
what?
Instead of farm games and DragonBooks, I'm just gonna do this
thing that I've been inspired todo and have been kind of afraid
to do.
So yeah, I think it comes backto, well, I don't think so.
I know it comes back to solid.
Deep work on values and whatyou're willing to give up to go
(07:59):
for the values that reallymatter.
And so I think that's reallywhere I made that choice.
But that's where that's choicehappens and that's where, that's
where it started for me.
And I'm very proud of everythingI've done.
I've done a shit ton of workover the past two months and
I've created a lot of things andum, I'm just looking forward for
somebody to actually use thethings that I'm creating and.
(08:24):
Yeah.
Patience, patience, patience.
And I, I said like every, andeverything that I've signed up
for is pretty much a yearsubscription, so I'm in it for
at least a year, I mean,exactly.
And we'll see where it goes.
And, and I mean, I think thatthe valuable part of it.
(08:46):
Even if you never have a client,and this is kind of what I was
getting to with, you know, dosomething.
Mm-hmm.
Like even if you never have aclient, you have the experience
of laying out a business planand not just a piece of paper
with like three things on it.
And you have the foundation oflooking at values and, and
lining yourself up with them.
And I think that that is the,like, that's the true takeaway
(09:10):
from it for me, that I mean.
You don't need to really like,that is success.
I mean, if we're gonna definesuccess, that is a, that is
what, um, that is where it, it,it comes in, I think.
Yeah.
And I, I mean, I feel like thelease that could come out of it
(09:30):
is, I'm getting thesecertifications and getting these
certifications is just coachingmyself.
Yes.
Like, oh, exactly.
That's kind of cool.
So I get that.
Um, and hopefully I use that andlearn in my, my own life.
So that's.
Yeah.
(09:50):
Yeah.
That's where we're, I love, so Iam, I'm proud of myself.
I am still excited.
I'm trying not to get down.
I'm still gonna do the marketingthings that I know, but I don't
have, like, the first surge ofmarketing where I grew my list
is where I put money in.
Like, you have to invest alittle bit.
I don't have any more to invest.
So it's gonna have to be what itis.
(10:11):
Like I don't, I don't know whatelse to do.
But also that's, that's kind ofthe business.
Yeah.
Like you're just dealing withconstraints all the time.
Like, I can only have this manypeople, or this many things, or
this many widgets.
Like that's just Yeah.
Life.
Yeah.
Also, before we get too deep, Iwant to point out that it is so
(10:32):
humid in North Carolina that Iam actually watching this hair
curl real time.
Ooh.
It was straight when we startedand now it is, uh, now it's
gotten a little spiral to it.
Mm.
I love humidity.
Right.
It's a, it is ama like, I didn'trealize that the south, this
might be why we had a civil war,because it is so humid here.
(10:55):
It's so, it's just pissed.
It's hot.
Everyone's like, listen, I don'twanna play by your roles.
It's hot.
I was in Louisiana in June orJuly, I think, I mean years ago,
and that might be the worstexperience I've ever had outside
of the drive through alcoholicslushies that an eating
alligator.
(11:16):
There was, there was a lot ofthings that were really cool
about that trip.
What was not cool was taking ashower, putting makeup on,
fixing your hair, looking like aprofessional human being, and
then walking outside andimmediately sweating and not
being able to breathe.
Like I looked at my boss and waslike, I don't know why the fuck
I showered.
Why do people, why does anybodyshower?
(11:38):
We we're in a swamp.
I don't understand.
I don't fucking disgusting here.
Yeah.
And uh, so for the people I amin North Carolina right now.
And I am moving Olivia back intoa dorm room for junior year.
And I have to say I don't recallthere being a big jump up in
(12:00):
quality of rooms betweensophomore year and junior year
when I went to school.
I mean, you're still staying inthe, like I stayed in the
sorority house, so I stayed inthe same crappy ass 10 by 10
space that I shared with variousroommates through that college
period.
I didn't make it to my junioryear living with people like my
technical junior year.
I was at home by then.
I mean, oh no, I was in thesorority house for a semester.
(12:22):
We, we all get through it indifferent ways.
It went very poorly.
Imagine that.
Imagine someone stuck yourattention deficit hyperactivity
ass into a place where there'sno structure and a lot of loud
girls and booze like, wow, Idon't know why this didn't go
better.
No, you know, I think go better.
Rush hour like the game, not themovie with Jackie Chan.
(12:44):
No, no, the game.
'cause this is where I had likemy most, this is where I was
down.
I was down bad.
Like I hate it.
I was sad.
And so I didn't really leave myroom that much.
This is, this is also where ourdarling Olivia kind of is.
She's, she's over it likethrough years.
(13:05):
It's been fun.
She's, she's like, yeah.
Six months younger thaneverybody else here, but she's
like, I'm, I'm so done.
I, I don't, I'm so done.
Yeah.
So I'm like, yeah.
Um, I, I didn't get there untilsenior year.
Like senior year.
I was like, I, yeah, I don't,like when I played soccer my
(13:28):
senior year, I don't think Ieven tried to learn everybody's
name on the team, like.
On the outside, I was like,yeah, hey, how's it going?
But on the inside I was like, Idon't, I mean, I tore my, or
partially tore my ACL like twodays into the season and then
had to like limp the rest of theway through it.
(13:51):
Yeah.
After that I just really hatedevery, everybody.
Mm-hmm.
The trainer who was like, Ithink it's just your pain
tolerance.
Is it?
Mm, because I'm talking to youand I'm not crying, so it's not
really my pain tolerance.
I'll show you pain to tolerance.
You cunt, right?
Hey, hey Doc.
(14:11):
I'll see you next Tuesday then.
How about that?
Fuck off.
Anyway, so here I am in NorthCarolina.
I've rented the nicest,prettiest Airbnb and it, I'm,
I'm trying to, I'm trying to.
Like consolidate my thoughts onAirbnbs because they're awesome,
right?
I mean, this place, if you're onthe YouTubes, it looks like a
(14:32):
gothic museum.
I mean, there's just no gettingaround it.
It's beautiful.
There's a chandelier, there'sartwork, there are, there's so
much lighting in here that Ihad, it took me 20 minutes to
figure out what all the switcheswere for.
Geez.
To one of those.
Do you wanna see the, do youwanna see the kitchen?
Hold on.
Sure.
(14:52):
Yeah, let me, let me spin thisguy around.
There's the stairway.
For some reason it looks like anelementary school out in the
hallway.
Yeah, yeah.
I was gonna say, I dunno aboutthat.
Oh, look how pretty, I love apretty kitchen.
I mean, that is nice.
Can you see the Miller LightTower back there?
I did not see the Miller LightTower.
Let me, let me focus in likeback.
(15:14):
Oh, there it is.
There she is.
Nice.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
That's enough.
Making people sick by moving thelaptop around.
Sorry.
Sorry, YouTubes, but I wantedyou to see like, and it's two
floors.
This is the, this is the sameprice as a hotel room that I
stayed in with your mom and dadand Olivia.
Yeah.
(15:34):
I mean, yeah, I mean, forpricing.
Airbnb's definitely the way togo.
It's ridiculous.
There's two floors.
There's a stairway.
Yeah.
Oh, you have to walk through theMichael.
You have to go through the, youhave to go.
I was just gonna say, you haveto go through, say Michael's to
get there.
But I mean once, once you makeit upstairs again, it's the,
you'll see Mrs.
Deme on your way.
(15:55):
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Yes.
And the really nice lady whoworked in the library, like all
of these people are hanging outin the hallway.
I don't remember the library.
I'm not surprised.
I do, can I?
I take out all eight of thesebooks, I will bring them back
next week.
The library, like you say, alibrary, and I think like I, I
(16:16):
can envision the library in St.
Michael's and immediately what Ithought of was throw up.
Right.
Well, it was across from thescience labs and they always
smelled like vomit.
Like I don't know if that wasvomit, but the science labs
always smell.
Yeah, not that great.
Then right down the hall, therewas the computer lab or the
computer room.
(16:37):
There was one computer in there.
Right where we took turnsplaying whatever that game is.
Oregon Trail where you drivedysentery.
Yeah, that I still have no cluewhat we were doing.
Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego?
Such a great game.
Yeah, I got a red hat anyway.
Floppy disc.
Alright.
Floppy disc.
(16:57):
Stop.
Stop.
You're so distracting.
So that's where I am.
I'm here.
And so, so pretty But, but like,the reason that this apartment
is so affordable is that Oliviasaw a street fight the other
night while she was here.
There's always like a homelessperson sleeping on the bench
(17:18):
right outside the front door.
Yeah.
Like yesterday there was likegroup of them and I'm pretty
sure that they were doingheroin.
Like, I didn't like stop to belike, Hey, are you guys doing
heroin?
Yeah.
But I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
So it's It's a little sketch.
Little sketch.
Yeah.
But on the upside, there's areally nice restaurant across
the street where I'm gonna goand have lunch today with a
(17:40):
client.
I would like to have lunchtoday.
And I mean, so getting Oliviamoved in has, has been an
adventure.
I would expect nothing less, butI didn't realize how much stuff
we'd left at her place when weleft and took the keys to the
storage unit.
So I don't know if you guysremember in May, Sarah and I
came down to pack her up, andwhen we left, we took all of the
(18:03):
keys to the storage unit.
Now mind you, there are threekeys.
To the storage unit.
There's, uh, two that Olivia hason her key chain and one
emergency, one that I keep in mybackpack, attached to my
backpack so that it never goesanywhere else.
And I never go anywhere withoutmy backpack, so it's always with
me.
But when we left, we took hertwo keys.
(18:24):
I didn't know this.
Did I know this?
I don't think so.
I think we only discovered itlike when I was halfway home and
I was just fine.
Yeah, we'll, we'll figure itout.
But she took, she took all therest of that stuff over to a
friend's house, so it only tookus like two trips from the
storage unit and she decided shedidn't need her refrigerator, so
we didn't even have to movethat.
(18:45):
Okay, cool.
Great.
So we, we get everything overthere and she's like, okay,
thanks.
I was like, do you want me to,do you want me to help you
unpack?
She was like, no.
Well, I just saw a post thatsomeone wrote about, it's to the
kids, like when your mom wantsto unpack everything, just let
her, when your dad wants tointroduce himself to other
people in the dorm and embarrassyou, just let him, they're going
(19:08):
through it.
I mean, I, I mean, I.
Particularly this summer have somany like conflicting emotions
about, about sending Oliviaback.
Like so many,'cause I know she'sover it.
Like she's not super excited tobe here.
Yeah.
She's not super excited to playsoccer.
She's not super excited aboutany of this.
(19:30):
Right?
Like the first thing I did whenI got here yesterday was just
look up five psychiatristsbecause which is what you need
to do.
Because we have to switch.
Like you can't have the samepsychiatrist that you do in PA
because you can't see them oftenenough.
Because we don't have thetechnology for that these days,
you know?
Right.
To see them often enough whenthey're in a different state,
(19:52):
it's very fucking weird.
Right.
'cause we don't have a telephonethat I can get to if somebody
needed help.
Yeah.
Or I don't have the ability tolearn the differences of the
laws or anything.
It's fucking stupid.
We can't figure out like betweenthe states, what's, what's a
crime and what isn't, what'smandatory to be reported.
(20:13):
Like we can't do that herebecause heaven forbid somebody
listen anyway.
So that's the first thing I did.
So like anxious about leavingher, her, I'm anxious about her
not being at home.
I'm just anxious and I'm neverlike anxious.
That's not my thing.
So, no, it's not.
(20:35):
I also had to text my therapist'cause I haven't had an
appointment in about a month.
And I was like, did.
And then, and then the voices inmy head, you know, the voice,
not, not like the voices, butmy, uh, mental, uh, your brain
voice.
Yeah.
You should name yours.
We should figure out a name foryours, Esmeralda.
And that's too difficult.
(20:57):
Dick.
There are no, there are no othernames in my head right now.
Jennifer brain voice, just, youcould share a brain voice.
It's fine.
I'll think of a name for itlater.
Oliver.
Oliver, do you, you know thatOliver is probably one of the
biggest assholes that will everbe a part of your life, right?
Yes.
Yes.
Oliver is a huge dick.
(21:19):
He's like, well, she probablycanceled all of your
appointments.
And I was like, Oliver and I hada discussion and I was like, I
don't think she would do that.
I think you're not telling methe truth, which is, I mean,
that's, these are all, that's agood sign.
Like you're talking to him soyou're aware that he's there.
Right.
That's the first step.
I, I don't think so, Ollie.
(21:40):
That I don't Yeah.
Think that's true.
Oliver, what I'm gonna do is I'mgonna just gonna text her and
see if maybe I missed anappointment or, yeah.
Like, am I not getting thereminders?
Did I lose my phone number, getlost, like how?
What's, what's up?
I'm just gonna ask her insteadof listening to you.
Yeah.
So I did that and she was like,oh my gosh, no.
(22:02):
I was on vacation for two weeks.
Okay.
And I was like, of course.
Yeah.
That makes so much more sensethan you randomly deciding you
don't wanna talk to me anymore.
Yeah.
So Emily and I have anappointment on Friday.
I found a new PCP, which hasneeded to happen forever and
ever.
Yay.
(22:22):
P CCP isn't the drug, it's yourprimary care physician.
Yes.
So I've had the same primarycare physician since I moved
back here, and to be fair, hewas kind of older when I moved
back here.
When was the last time you sawhim Had strep throat?
Like two years ago.
Okay.
(22:42):
I mean, I've seen the lady forthe Botox a couple of times.
She's taken my blood pressure.
I think that's the same thing.
Whatever, whatever.
And she can fuck off.
Right.
She also sent me a bill for, uh,a couple hundred bucks.
Like after we talked aboutyours, I was like, what did they
just decide to update theirbooks and think, oh wow, we've
(23:05):
been collecting all this moneyfor this other shit and we
forgot that they actually haveto pay us for services.
Oh my gosh.
I have a shredder in my office,so I, yeah.
Fuck you.
Good luck, flowers.
Here's the, my problem nowthough, is I get my, um, I get
my marijuana card through hersugar.
Switch that up.
(23:27):
Yeah.
Which means I'm gonna have to goin like, with her, it was just
easier.
'cause I just called and they'relike, all right, gimme your
credit card number.
Right, right.
That is what, that is what made,I mean.
And I don't, at this point, Idon't want to give her any more
business because I am sofrustrated with my own shit and
that I've heard some of my otherfriends who go to her and I'm
(23:47):
just, I'm over her.
Yeah.
I mean, so I, the last time Iwas there, she held, she sold me
some snake oil pills.
Yeah.
I was like, what is it?
Yeah, go ahead, throw that onthe bill.
You just injected$700 worth ofshit in my face, and so, yeah.
I mean, I was happy.
I got great things out of her.
I was very happy with her forwhat, it's been two and a half
(24:09):
years, and I've never had amajor complaint.
Yeah.
I mean, but it's become, it'sdefinitely, I also felt like I
was maybe a little more, what'sthe word for it?
Not important, but like.
I wasn't just someone thatthey're bringing in like cycling
through.
Yes.
Do you know what I mean?
And now like the past coupletimes I've been there, I felt
(24:31):
like it was just get her in.
Get her out as quickly aspossible.
And I don't particularly likethat, especially.
No, I think that dynamic hasdefinitely changed a bit,
especially when I've waited fortwo hours in the lobby.
Like I would prefer that you.
Don't come in.
Well, and also the doctor that Imade the appointment with isn't
even the one I saw.
Like Yeah, there was multiplethings that I was like, this
(24:54):
just doesn't cut it out if youwant, but we had to pause'cause
my sister was gonna shit herpants.
Oh my God.
Um, sorry guys.
Your face was the best though.
Like I wish, I'm so mad that youstopped the recording.
'cause your face literally waslike this.
(25:15):
Oh my God.
My eyes got real bad.
Yeah.
I mean, I know.
All right, I'm done talkingabout my B Nobody wants to hear
that.
Yep.
I will suffice it to say that Iam.
I was sweating.
So, I didn't mean to interruptyour story, but Yeah.
(25:36):
I mean, the feel, that place wasa little different.
I felt like the last time I wasthere, she didn't remember me
from the last time.
And I mean, I, I know that theysee a lot of people and I know
that it's only one doctor and abunch of patients, but the least
you could do is like a glanceover my chart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's, yeah.
There, there's a stack of thingsthat.
(25:57):
It happened that I was like, allright, yeah, we're done.
We're done here.
And I mean, my PCP is all aboutthe GLP one that I've been
taking, and she's all abouteverything that that's done for
me over the last three years.
So I see her in December, andI'm pretty sure that if I want
to continue, I will be able toget something through her.
I don't think I'm gonna need tocontinue to go to the other one.
(26:21):
Yeah, I mean, that's the thingfor me too.
I wanted someone who wasremotely gonna look at.
Anything other than the amountof pounds I had lost.
Yeah.
I felt like, I felt like shewould remember me once I said
how much weight I had lost, andthen she was like, that is
amazing.
Yeah.
We, we've done so well with you.
(26:42):
What, what?
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, so, so picked a new PCPand then made an appointment.
So I go to my new PCP to get aphysical to make sure that I'm
not dying and, um.
Then arrange to maybe get myVyvanse prescription through the
PCP.
(27:02):
'cause I don't think that thepsychiatrist really does that
much for me other than prescribethe, the Vyvanse and Emily and I
kind of keep an eye on symptomsand side effects and all of
that.
So if I think I'm gonna manageit that way rather than trying
to, you know, do anything else.
'cause I think, I'm not sure,but I think I can see my PCP
(27:23):
virtually, even if I'm in adifferent state.
Yeah, I think so.
I don't know.
It's probably not true.
Like anything to get thescheduled for 12 narcotic that I
take to make me a normal person,um, is gonna be a barrier.
But I don't know if I told youthis, but I mean, not having the
Vyvanse for a while and then,um, and then taking the Vyvanse
(27:49):
has shown me that quit fuckingaround because you need it and
you are a better person on itthan off of it.
Yeah, so there we go.
That is my, that is my healthjourney these days.
Like I like it new PCP, newstart.
I also find that if you're nottaking the Vyvanse, it's really
hard to arrange to take theVyvanse.
(28:11):
So it is important to make theplans ahead of time,
preventatively.
To make sure that this doesn'thappen.
Like when your doctor says, I'mgoing on mat leave and I'm, I'm
not gonna be back, and here'show you can get your medicine.
You should probably write thatshit down.
Yeah.
Um, do that, like, I mean, withyour insurance, how many months,
(28:32):
like prescription, how manytimes do you have to see the
doctor?
You have to see them, I think,every third month, but because
that's what mine is, you have tointeract with them every third,
every month.
Like you can't, yeah.
Vyvanse won't come with anyrefills.
Like there's just none.
You can't get refills until youtalk to the office and be like,
(28:53):
Hey, everything's fine.
I feel great.
Can you have her refill it?
Yeah.
And then the third time you tryto do that, they're like, oh,
you have to come in and see her.
Just make sure that you havethose reminders.
Because I feel like you haven'tdone really well with that.
No, like I was really good withit for, um, I was really good
(29:13):
with it because I would get downto three pills.
Well, I would get down to like10 and be like, you really, you
really need to do somethinghere.
Like, you really need to dosomething.
And then I would forget untillike the next day.
So then I would get down tothree pills and I'm like, Ooh, I
gotta call the office.
And sometimes, sometimes I wouldbe traveling.
Like when I had to have thatprescription filled in
(29:35):
Philadelphia and my buddy Nicolehad to go pick it up.
Yeah.
Um, I feel like you could dobetter.
Yeah.
I feel like I definitely, Idefinitely could do better.
There are definitely ways that,that I could do better.
Do you remember when we read thead or AI for A DHD?
I have been doing a lot of thetechniques from that.
(29:58):
And for about two, three weeksnow, like really committed to it
and damn.
Damn.
So what have you been, what arethe techniques that you're
doing?
Like every time I think ofsomething, I just open up.
I tell like my little tei, I'mlike, Hey, can you open Chad GPT
and tell it to add this to mylist?
(30:18):
And then in the morning I'll login and be like, chat GPT, can
you tell me what I'm doingtoday?
Mm-hmm.
I'm like, can you move that oneto tomorrow?
This one isn't important.
And I can do that all yammeringaway, like I don't have to.
Yeah.
Type.
And if I can do it while I'myammering, then Chad, Chad
organizes it.
He puts it in like its ownlittle chat thing.
(30:40):
So if I forget, yeah.
I'm like, okay, when am I goingto, when am I going to, uh,
jiujitsu this week?
He is like, oh, you have.
Classes scheduled on Tuesday andThursday.
You also have yoga on Monday,Wednesday, and Friday, and you
have 20 minutes of meditation atlunchtime.
I'm like, are you doing all ofthat?
The juujitsu?
No, because I'm outta here.
(31:02):
Uh, I'm in North Carolina, so Ican't until I get back home.
But the yoga, yes, I got my yogamat right there.
Yay.
And the meditation at lunchtimedefinitely is happening, like
even with the chaos this week.
I mean, other than Monday when Iwas driving, it's bad to
meditate and drive at the sametime.
Yeah, I don't think it's a goodidea.
(31:23):
I mean, I did take a littlequiet time where I turned off
the podcast and just, and justhad some thoughts while I was
driving.
Yeah.
So I feel like that was mymeditation substitute.
So.
It does that, and then I've gota little recorder on my phone
that listens to my meetings andmakes meeting notes and action
items that I can then like putinto my OneNote or on my
(31:47):
Remarkable on my little paper.
Tablet.
Yeah.
So that even just Tuesday hasbeen kind of a game changer.
I was like, good.
Oh my God, I don't have to like.
Like my big A DHD concern andworry is that I try to keep so
much shit in my head mm-hmm.
(32:07):
That I, I can't, I can't, like,there gets to be like one too
many things and then my braingoes, you know what?
Fuck it.
And throws everything up in theair and then I can't remember
anything.
Like, nothing gets done then.
So if I can get those thingsout, like, do you remember in
the Harry Potter movies whereDumble doors, like pulling the
shit out with his magic wand andputting it in the.
(32:30):
Cup.
If I can do that, then there'smore room for me to keep track
of, like the things that have tohappen right now.
So I am loving it and I think ifI can knock on wood here, if I
can manage to come in.
Come in.
If I can manage to maintain thatroutine, which is really what it
you, you just have to get intothe routine.
(32:51):
If I can manage to maintain thatYep.
And someone around me can remindme that this isn't a pain in the
ass and it's really importantand a positive thing and it's
not boring and it's not stupid.
And if I can turn it intosomething like a game.
Yeah.
Like gamify.
Exactly.
Like if I can figure a way,probably in like a month to
(33:13):
start giving myself points fordoing some things and then I can
like change that up in a monthand use something different.
'cause I think that part of whatthe AI book talks about is
finding things that work andfinding things of work right
now, and a big part of me beingable to kind of get through.
(33:36):
A lot of the chaos is being ableto find different things that
work like, okay, now I dojuujitsu, but I also like to
dabble in yoga.
And you know, there aredifferent things that are gonna
work at different times, I guessis what I'm trying to say.
And if I can prepare for thatand kind of anticipate it, then
(33:57):
I would be better served.
Do you know what I mean?
That was really rambly, but youkind of get the idea.
Yeah, I know that in a monthit's not gonna be this way and
I'm gonna have to do somethingto tweak it and make it
interesting and exciting and newand fun.
Or I'm gonna be like, fuck, it'sso fucking boring to listen to
chat every day.
(34:17):
Yeah.
Ultimately, the things that makeus the happiest, scientifically
speaking, I don't know theactual studies or anything like
that, but the things that makeus the happiest are the most
boring.
I mean that's, that kind of goeswith it.
And for me, unacceptable.
Like that's just unacceptable.
Like part of what makes me tickas a human being is being able
(34:44):
to do something different everycouple of weeks.
Like that is a, I don't know.
When we're talking about values,I don't know that that's a
value, but that is a thing thatmoves stuff forward.
Does that make sense?
Mm-hmm.
So now we're just gonna do popcoaching with me on the podcast.
You need variety.
You need change.
(35:05):
Yeah.
I mean that's why I switchedjobs every two years.
Yeah, you didn't do that untillike recently.
And that's fine.
I looked back at my resume'causeI was pulling some shit
together.
And even when I was at the samecompany for years and years, I
had a different Yeah.
Job.
Like I got promoted or I movedto laterally every, yeah.
(35:26):
My, the same frequency mine, uh,my, my timeline is three months,
or three months.
Three years.
That seems to be my consistent,like that's when shit, when I'm
like, I gotta do somethingdifferent, right?
I gotta, which me starting thisbusiness is 100% in line with
that time.
(35:47):
Table, and that's how it's been.
I've been with the company I'mwith now for 10 years in
October, and I've had threedifferent positions, which is
consistent with that.
And now instead of switchingpositions, because I'm into my
third year in this position, I'mjust starting a business outside
of it.
I mean, these are the thingsthat if you can recognize them
(36:08):
and work with them instead ofagainst them, then you can, you
can manage the, the challenges,I think like the, the same thing
with making my appointments atthe psychiatrist.
Or to get the Vyvanse, if I cananticipate it.
Like if I can tell Chad, Hey,I'm gonna forget, but in three
months from today, mark thatdate down.
(36:29):
And when I ask you what I'mdoing on that day, tell me I
need a prescription refill.
Yeah, you just have to, I mean,you, you have to listen to Chad
too, like, yeah, yeah.
You gotta, you gotta followthrough like, that sounds so
great.
Actually do it with me.
Like consistency though.
Noah and I are gonna start doingyoga together.
Yay.
(36:51):
But one of the reasons Isuggested that is because I am
bad with consistency on my own.
So sometimes I need a little bitof help and like I'm pretty
consistent with my meditationand doing it daily ish.
Uh, that's it.
It's just consistency.
(37:12):
That's, that's the key to it allis being able to be consistent
with it.
And I do better with consistencywhen I have other people working
with me.
So Noah and I are gonna startdoing yoga together because
that's really what I want to doas far as my exercise.
'cause I need to build moreexercise and physical movement
(37:32):
into my days.
So you wanna come to jujitsuwith me, not even in the
slightest.
Nope.
I need a jiujitsu friend.
No, I should never have to leavethis fucking house for physical
activity.
We have a Peloton bike, we havea Peloton tread, we have some
other step machine, Bowflex,whatever the fuck that is.
We've got yoga mats out thewazoo.
(37:55):
We have everything we fuckingneed, so I should never have to
leave this house.
But yeah, and I mean that's partof, that's part of the boring,
that's part of the things thatmake you happy and your
exercise, your diet, your sleep,those are the most boring, but
they are.
Scientifically proven to have ahuge impact on the happiness in
your life.
This is something that I triedto convey to Olivia like last
(38:18):
week and this week.
I'm like, listen, here are thethings that you can control
about your fitness test that youare currently obsessing about.
Mm-hmm.
You can control how much wateryou drink, you can control how
much sleep you get.
You can control how much proteinand carbs and fat you eat.
You can control.
How you approach this physicalfitness test mentally, like the
(38:41):
things you can control or whatother people did over the
summer.
What other people are gonnathink about you when you're
doing the test?
What, uh, where, where you fallin the rank.
Those are beyond your control.
Like you cannot control whatother people are doing.
So focus on the things that youcan control, even though they
suck and they're boring, eventhough it's how much water did I
(39:02):
drink today?
Right?
Not enough.
Right?
Those are also, I'm so sorry.
We were moving Olivia inyesterday and she said the most
important thing that I've everheard Olivia say.
Oh, okay.
She said, I don't think anyonegives a shit about how much
stuff I have.
I, because.
(39:25):
David was like, what do otherpeople think about how much
stuff you have?
And she's like, oh, no onecares.
Nobody cares.
Nobody's cares.
Nobody cares about how muchstuff I have.
They're worried about their ownstuff.
And even if it's not stuffthey're worried about, they're
worried about something elsethat's not, they're not,
definitely not your stuff.
They might take a look at it andbe like, wow, lib.
Oh, she's got a lot of stuff.
And then they move on.
(39:45):
Yeah.
Then there's another thoughtthat replaces it almost
immediately.
So the awesome thing was thatshe, she gets that.
She doesn't listen to that allthe time, but I mean, she's 20,
so I don't listen to it all thetime.
And I mean, it's my go-to, but Imean, that's just the way it is.
We're all fucking struggling insome way.
(40:05):
It's like Dan Harris and his,uh, his, what's, what's it
called?
His opening line of everything.
Welcome, my fellow sufferinghuman beings.
Yes, because that's over it.
We're all, we're all goingthrough it.
Whether we're leadingmeditation, whether we're
starting a coaching business, wedon't know it all, we're all
trying to figure it outourselves.
Right?
Like they, you don't get a dressrehearsal for this.
(40:27):
Like nothing.
Nothing is promised, nothing isplanned.
And part of life is that, like,that's kind of the beauty of it.
Like you don't know what's gonnahappen.
I mean, for people with a spicyA DHD brain, they get bored real
easy.
The idea that, you know.
You don't know what's comingnext is kind of exciting.
That's where we shine problemsolving, and that's kind of what
(40:51):
makes the A DHD people good atthe jobs that they pick
sometimes, is that it justrequires a lot of pivoting and a
lot of firefighting and a lotof, well, okay, let's think
about how we can solve this.
So that's what I got as far asmental health stuff this week.
Well, these two weeks, and Ilove.
(41:13):
Like the takeaway I think fromfrom your stuff and from my
stuff is that the boring iswhere it is where you find the
growth, the.
Being able to make the boring,palatable.
Like how do I make it so that Ican do yoga every day?
How do I make it so I can beconsistent?
(41:33):
And that's, that's, that's howyou, that's how you move
forward.
Like I love that.
Like I always love the fact thatyou're gonna have to struggle in
order to grow.
'cause when you're going throughit, the struggle seems so
struggly.
For lack of a better word, thestruggle seems so struggly.
I think it's also reallyimportant for us to realize that
(41:56):
sometimes the struggle doesn'tend the way that we want it to,
and we have to move on fromthat.
And it's not always awesome.
Like it's not always like, okay,well that didn't turn out the
way I wanted to, but it's betterthis way.
It's not always like that.
Like sometimes the struggleisn't.
It doesn't land us where we,where we want to, regardless if
we could see it outwardly ornot.
(42:16):
There's some sort of growth inthere.
Yes.
And that's what you just have tobring forward with you.
And you also have to work onacceptance of yourself.
Like that's a huge part of it isbeing able to hone in on
self-compassion and not being sofucking hard on yourself.
Like everything that happensisn't the end of the world.
(42:40):
And.
Everything that happens isn'tyour fault.
And there's ways that we canmove on from things and not be
such assholes to ourselves,because that makes things a lot
worse.
How do you, how do you think welearn to be assholes to
ourselves?
Like this is, this is onethat's.
(43:01):
Been niggling at sort of likethe outside edges of my brain
mm-hmm.
For, for a while.
Like how, why do we do that?
Like, and why do some of us, isis that the mental health aspect
of it?
Is that the brain chemistrypiece of it?
Is that some of us are way morehypercritical of ourselves than
(43:22):
than others.
I mean, that's just afascinating kind of thing.
Yeah.
It's just the way that yourbrain, the way that your brain
works.
Like, I think that most of thetime you have, and probably,
probably a bit of both, justlike everything, a little bit of
balance is the best.
But a lot of times you have, youknow, everything's my fault.
Like, like I think we talkedabout it before.
Like I get an email aboutsomething that I was working on
(43:45):
and I'm like, fuck, what did Ido wrong?
But then on the other side ofthat, you have people who
directly go to blaming someoneelse, like immediately, well, I
know what I did was right.
What the fuck did you do?
So there's kind of a, there'sgotta be a center to that where
you have a healthy dose of eachof those, I guess.
(44:05):
Or you just focus on right nowwhat needs to be done instead of
focusing on what somebody elseor you did in the past that you
can't fucking change.
Right, right.
I actually had a, a conversationyesterday.
Um.
You know, trying to get some,some stuff done at work and
somebody didn't do something andwe needed it done.
(44:26):
And you know, you've been inthese situations, but everyone's
been in these situations before.
Whether you work in likeclinical research or.
Internal railroad tie sales orIT or whatever, like you've been
in these situations before wheresomebody needed to do something
and they didn't do it, and nowit's a crisis.
And yeah, we could have, itwouldn't have been a crisis if
(44:47):
it would've gotten done, butnow, now it needs to get done.
So we had a group meetingyesterday and the one girl was
like, okay, so how do we assesswhose fault this is?
And I was like, I don't thinkit's the time for that.
I think it's the time for us tofigure out who's going to do it.
Like, do you want me to do it?
I'll do it.
I mean, I've got the biggesttitle here, but if it needs
(45:08):
done, I'll do it.
I mean, I didn't say it outloud, but because it just needs
to get done.
And then we can come back and wecan figure out who could do the
postmortem, right?
Like I'm gonna always go back tothe point where I'm responsible
for it.
And that's why I didn't get donebecause I didn't.
Do something, even if it wasn'tmy direct responsibility, even
if it isn't my depart, like Ididn't do something to, to get
(45:31):
it done.
So we can, we can have thatconversation, but right now just
get it done.
Like, let's not Yeah.
Priority.
Yeah.
That has to be the, to be thefirst.
Yeah.
And then priority is getting itdone, and then we'll figure out
where it went wrong.
And it's not always.
I mean, it depends on thescenario.
It's not always what someone didwrong.
It's just something, somethinghappened that threw it in the
(45:52):
wrong direction.
So let's figure out whathappened and how we make sure it
doesn't happen in the future.
These meetings, like thepost-mortem meetings, they're
not to blame somebody.
They're not to blame anything.
What they are is to learn.
And grow from.
Yeah.
This is like, let's take thelesson and figure out how we
can, we can remove the onus fromone person.
Share the responsibility is theway that I like to go into a
(46:14):
lessons learned and somebody waslike, somebody called me and
said, Hey, you have to be moreaggressive.
I'm like, I don't.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I don't think that that'snecessary.
I, I don't, they're like, well,this is clearly blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, it isn't what thisis, is a problem with process.
It's hardly ever a problem withpeople.
(46:35):
It's problem.
Anyway, we're, we're gettinginto organizational change
management at this point, so.
Maybe we pull it back.
But I think that the, the thingwas like out of that
conversation was you, you justhave to work with who you are,
right?
Yeah.
Like, I'm not gonna beaggressive.
I'm gonna learn a lesson andwe're gonna put that in place
and my organization's gonna bebetter for it.
(46:57):
And those, I mean, yeah, we'retalking about organization,
organizational, or, you knowwhat I mean, change process.
Um, but this is also 100%.
Applicable to your life and yourbrain voice and right, like
going back and assessing, notup, not obsessing, but just
(47:17):
assess what happened and learnand move forward like that's the
best we could do.
Take responsibility where youneed to.
And that's all you can control.
You can't force somebody else totake responsibility for their
actions, take responsibility forwhat you do and then move
forward.
I think what you said aboutresponsibility kicked off a
whole series of things in myhead.
(47:38):
Getting back to kind of MarkManson, that was it.
Mark Manson.
Like getting back to Mark Mansonand being like, yeah,
responsibility doesn't alwaysmean that you have to feel bad.
Like responsibility doesn'talways mean that you have to be
like, oh, I suck.
Responsibility is.
Just that, just the lessonslearned, right?
Like I'm, I'm not responsiblefor, uh, getting into a car
(48:00):
accident and losing the, thefeeling on the right side of my
body.
What I am responsible for isreacting to that and finding the
way to make something positiveout of it, or finding a way to
move forward.
Not necessarily be positive, butlike those, those are the
things, like those are the areasof suffering.
Suffering.
(48:20):
Where, where you come out.
Where you come out better.
Yay.
All right.
Quickly before we shut her down,you and I are going on a
meditation retreat.
We are.
We are, yes.
Hmm.
Which I think is gonna be ourversion of help.
Yeah, I was, it's sounded like agreat fucking idea.
(48:43):
Real, until you signed us up.
And then I got the email aboutlike.
All of it and found out we'renot like we're gonna be in, I
don't know.
I don't know.
Here's, here's the thing aboutthis and what, what we should be
practicing.
I have made up in my head, mybrain voice has made up what the
whole weekend is going to belike.
(49:03):
And it's not good.
It's not good.
And these are things that I needto stop and say.
How the fuck do you know that?
You don't fucking know thatbrain voice?
Suck it.
We're gonna go up there with ourminds open and we're gonna
breathe and we're gonna breathelike nobody's business and we're
gonna fuck that shit up.
We're not gonna be able to benear each other because all we
will do is fucking giggle.
So, I mean, we might have to dosome prepping, like on the drive
(49:27):
there.
Yeah, it's, it should be very,very interesting and I'm gonna
do my best from this pointforward to tell my brain voice
to fuck off and not have anyexpectations and just go into it
with an open mind and petroli.
It's gonna be, it's gonna be,it's gonna be fine.
Like it would be, it would bedifferent if it wasn't Dan
(49:52):
Harris, I think.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the thing that, Ithink that's the thing that
pulls me back and makes me feelbetter about it because Dan
Harris is the person who wasable to get across to me that we
can do this without having thatwoo woo, uh.
Right.
We can do this with it withoutbeing, um, yeah.
(50:14):
Woo woo.
Hippy hippie dippy.
Hippy dippy.
Yeah.
Which, I mean, and that's cool.
I'm sure we'll have some hippiefolks there and do your thing.
That's cool.
I accept.
I accept, but he, I feel likehe, um, normalized it.
Way better than anybody that Ihave read about or, or did any
(50:34):
research on it.
'cause you know, before DanHarris, I did a shit ton of
meditation research, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Same, same.
I had, uh, meditation forDummies on my shelf for like 10
years.
Like, I was really into the yogaand, uh, meditation research,
like finding my center.
I tried to do, I tried to domeditation on the Peloton app,
and that was, that was myextent.
(50:55):
And I was like, fuck you.
I mean, I was.
Very adamant about it.
When I was like, I would neverbe able to do this.
This is fucking stupid.
Quit telling me to clear mymind.
I can't bur bur bur.
Okay.
And just to, just to put a framearound it, Sarah and I have
always talked about when we,when we go to hell or purgatory
or whatever thing that happensafter this, where you pay for
(51:17):
your sins, we are gonna be inglass boxes that are next to
each other that are soundproof,where we can see each other and.
We can't communicate in any way.
Like there's no, like eyeraising.
Like we just ha I just have tolook at her.
She can look at me and therewill be a parade of people that
walk past that are begging forcommentary.
(51:40):
And that is, that is our versionof hell.
And now we are taking ourselvesoff to a meditation retreat
where talking is, uh,discouraged, loud, shoulder
shaking, laughter, and braying.
Like donkeys is, I think,implied that that's, uh,
discouraged.
And that is generally how wewould approach a situation like
(52:01):
this is just yes, obnoxious.
I mean, it's gonna beuncomfortable for us because
this is new and the way we dealwith being uncomfortable is
being funny and making eachother laugh.
Yeah.
So that's not, it's gonna be.
It's gonna be fun.
It'll be a great experience andI personally believe that we
will walk away from it with avery different perspective.
(52:22):
I, I'm really looking forward toit.
'cause even if it is, whateverit is, is gonna be something,
something to talk about and forsure share.
And we will have come out of itlearning something.
I am a hundred percent sure,100%.
If I, if I go away to meditateand I can't find a way to
(52:42):
meditate, or can't find a way totake something out of this that
feeds that part of my brain thatI think needs to be fed, then,
then I think that's alsotelling, like, you know, maybe
meditation retreats aren't forme.
Maybe meditation is somethingslightly different for me, so
I'm pumped.
I'm so excited that you're gonnado it with me.
Like, I don't even know whatthis, yeah.
(53:03):
Dan Harris frames it as it's ameditation party.
Meditation party.
Woo woo.
We're gonna eat granola and uh,we're going to live in a tent.
It's gonna be amazing.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Whatever.
Hmm.
Whatever.
Alright, thanks.
Whatever happens, happens.
Shall we all wrap this up?
Wrap it up.
Um, thank you so much forlistening to me Yammer away.
(53:26):
Um, thank you so much for beingmy sister.
I love you and I'm super proudof you and it.
Pop, pop it off.
That's all I got.
Pop it off.
All right.
Love you.
Hello and welcome to The Mental Funny Bone.
Why does it make me laugh?
Every time?
Every time you do somethinggross.
I'm like, it's, she's adorable.
It's so funny.
She burped and then she farted.
Not at the same time.
'cause that's not very, that'svery rare.
Um, go ahead, sorry.
Welcome to the Mental FunnyBone.
Go ahead.
I'm Christine and uh, this is mysister Sarah.
(00:25):
She, uh, burps.
A lot, but we are a podcastdedicated to mental health and
making sure that, uh, the peopleout there know that they are not
alone in their journeys tobecoming better human beings and
better mental, uh, fitnesswellness people.
Um, amen.
(00:45):
Yeah, amen.
Was it a prayer?
I don't know.
Was it the blessing?
Sometimes it feels like it, itfeels like the blessing.
Like we need to say these fewwords before we get started.
We need to talk to the podcastGods about giving us, giving us
funny shit to say.
I would like to say based on ourintro, can you imagine if I had
(01:05):
to do online dating?
Like my profile?
She says, fuck a lot.
She burps, she farts.
She also eats like and not saladlike a lot of wings.
And she likes Miller Light.
Right.
I thank God that I don't have todo online dating.
'cause it would just be, I mean,can you imagine the group I
(01:28):
would pull with thatdescription?
Poof.
Yeah, sorry.
You could do regular dating anddo just as well.
It's, the good news is I never,ever have to date again.
So that's really fucking cool.
That is the good news.
And I, I have found somebodyjust the normal way, not the
normal.
(01:48):
I mean, online dating is cool.
Whatever.
I found somebody in, in reallife.
No, that still sounds bad.
You know what I mean?
I, I hate to point it out, butyou, you just dated your boss.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Why wouldn't I, I feel likethat's, that's what happened.
I fell down the steps and hefelt bad for me and then dated
me and look at us now 23 yearslater.
(02:12):
I am also concerned about myaudio setup today because I
forgot to bring my headphoneswith me.
So, and I can tell by theconstant blue, surrounding by
little thing that it's pickingup every single I can hear.
Maybe an air conditioning.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Okay.
For sure.
I think it's loud also.
(02:35):
Alright.
No, that's gonna be great.
That's gonna be, that's what itsounds like.
We'll, we'll take care of thatin, post that, what we call it,
is it post.
We'll take care of that in, uh,edit sounds.
No.
Whatever, edit, whatever Beccadoes, she'll fix it.
Yeah.
Shout out to Becca, the intern.
We miss you today.
Be.
Becca's gonna do some help, uh,do some help.
(02:57):
Becca's gonna help me with somestuff.
I have a YouTube channel.
I also have a Pinterest page.
Tell me more about your pop.
Let's, let's pop it up.
These are two things I have towork on because I don't really
understand them.
And making videos I thoughtwouldn't be like that difficult
for me.
I tried and I just, it's likethe last one I think I made just
(03:21):
started with, this is fuckingstupid.
I don't know what to do.
So, so plan over panic.
Yeah, it has, it has beenlaunched for officially a month.
Yay.
I wish I had like graphics orsound effects to do like
fireworks.
Sounds great.
Sounds great.
Champagne pops or something.
I'll just do it with my hands.
(03:42):
You guys gotta look at theYouTube video'cause it's epic.
Off you go.
Yeah, it's, it's there.
I'm doing everything I'msupposed to do.
I'm not getting the resultsthat.
I'm supposed to get based onwhat I'm doing.
So that's kind of shitty andkind of frustrating, but it's
only been a month.
I didn't expect to have a fullclient list by now.
(04:06):
My, my subscription, mysubscriptions, newsletter
subscriptions are growing, sothat's good.
I have a couple potentialclients, but I think my first
client, I'm actually going tosuggest.
Someone else.
I don't, there's, there's lotsthat I don't really think I
(04:28):
should talk about on a podcast.
Cool.
I think, but from a businessstandpoint, it's a little
frustrating.
But I mean, think about how farahead of the game you are than
the people who have ideas abouttheir new business venture.
Yeah.
Um, when.
(04:49):
When I was doing a lot moreentrepreneurial things in the
workplace, the idea is alwaysthat you wanna, that you wanna
get started.
Mm-hmm.
And you wanna look at it and youwanna get something out there so
that you can move it and tweakit and make it better, but you
can't make it better until youget something out there.
(05:11):
And.
Just like when we were runninghalf marathons back in the day.
Mm-hmm.
Like we're the shittiest runsthat we had, ones where it
spiders came down out ofnowhere, like heaven, spiders,
circus, spiders, circus,spiders, and jumped on us.
Those were, those were better,those were better runs than
anyone who was sleeping on thecouch.
(05:31):
Right, right.
I've, I've, I've taken the step.
I'm moving forward.
I am learning and speaking oflearning, just started.
No, not just started, I'm justfinishing up, uh, CBT coaching
certification.
So cognitive behavioral incoaching.
It's technique, not therapybecause we're not therapists.
(05:53):
Yeah, you're just technique.
So I'm finishing up that andafter that I'm going to be
starting mindfulness andself-awareness coaching.
Do you wanna say hi to Oliviasuper quick?
Hi Olivia.
Hello Olivia podcast for amoment.
Hello.
Is she gorgeous?
(06:14):
Are you going to soccer practicenow?
I'm going to help the freshmenmove into college, which,
mm-hmm.
I don't know why I'm not afreshman.
Yeah.
But you're nice and you wannamake them comfortable, like big
muscles.
Yeah, I think that's why coachsuggested it.
'cause you're just gonna spendall day lifting.
Yeah.
(06:34):
Yep.
All right.
Good.
Good chat.
Good chat.
Good talk.
Good talk.
Good talk.
I love her.
I'm sorry.
Mindfulness.
No, I'm just, uh, after my CBTcertificate, I'm gonna start
working on mindfulness andself-awareness certificate.
(06:55):
That is, that is amazing.
Again, I think that there are somany, there are so many ways to
be, to be positive about yourpop.
Flat out just to, to havestarted it, to have organized as
much as you have organized.
Like I know that I'm your sisterand I'm going to cheerlead no
matter what.
(07:16):
So many people have these ideasand so many people feel inspired
to do this, and so many peopleare playing Candy Crush on the
couch playing farm games.
I gave up my farm game for this.
I mean, it literally like,you're like the poster kid for
people who, who, I don't know,like you got the farm game, you
(07:38):
got uh, dragon books you have toread, and you decided, you know
what?
Instead of farm games and DragonBooks, I'm just gonna do this
thing that I've been inspired todo and have been kind of afraid
to do.
So yeah, I think it comes backto, well, I don't think so.
I know it comes back to solid.
Deep work on values and whatyou're willing to give up to go
(07:59):
for the values that reallymatter.
And so I think that's reallywhere I made that choice.
But that's where that's choicehappens and that's where, that's
where it started for me.
And I'm very proud of everythingI've done.
I've done a shit ton of workover the past two months and
I've created a lot of things andum, I'm just looking forward for
somebody to actually use thethings that I'm creating and.
(08:24):
Yeah.
Patience, patience, patience.
And I, I said like every, andeverything that I've signed up
for is pretty much a yearsubscription, so I'm in it for
at least a year, I mean,exactly.
And we'll see where it goes.
And, and I mean, I think thatthe valuable part of it.
(08:46):
Even if you never have a client,and this is kind of what I was
getting to with, you know, dosomething.
Mm-hmm.
Like even if you never have aclient, you have the experience
of laying out a business planand not just a piece of paper
with like three things on it.
And you have the foundation oflooking at values and, and
lining yourself up with them.
And I think that that is the,like, that's the true takeaway
(09:10):
from it for me, that I mean.
You don't need to really like,that is success.
I mean, if we're gonna definesuccess, that is a, that is
what, um, that is where it, it,it comes in, I think.
Yeah.
And I, I mean, I feel like thelease that could come out of it
(09:30):
is, I'm getting thesecertifications and getting these
certifications is just coachingmyself.
Yes.
Like, oh, exactly.
That's kind of cool.
So I get that.
Um, and hopefully I use that andlearn in my, my own life.
So that's.
Yeah.
(09:50):
Yeah.
That's where we're, I love, so Iam, I'm proud of myself.
I am still excited.
I'm trying not to get down.
I'm still gonna do the marketingthings that I know, but I don't
have, like, the first surge ofmarketing where I grew my list
is where I put money in.
Like, you have to invest alittle bit.
I don't have any more to invest.
So it's gonna have to be what itis.
(10:11):
Like I don't, I don't know whatelse to do.
But also that's, that's kind ofthe business.
Yeah.
Like you're just dealing withconstraints all the time.
Like, I can only have this manypeople, or this many things, or
this many widgets.
Like that's just Yeah.
Life.
Yeah.
Also, before we get too deep, Iwant to point out that it is so
(10:32):
humid in North Carolina that Iam actually watching this hair
curl real time.
Ooh.
It was straight when we startedand now it is, uh, now it's
gotten a little spiral to it.
Mm.
I love humidity.
Right.
It's a, it is ama like, I didn'trealize that the south, this
might be why we had a civil war,because it is so humid here.
(10:55):
It's so, it's just pissed.
It's hot.
Everyone's like, listen, I don'twanna play by your roles.
It's hot.
I was in Louisiana in June orJuly, I think, I mean years ago,
and that might be the worstexperience I've ever had outside
of the drive through alcoholicslushies that an eating
alligator.
(11:16):
There was, there was a lot ofthings that were really cool
about that trip.
What was not cool was taking ashower, putting makeup on,
fixing your hair, looking like aprofessional human being, and
then walking outside andimmediately sweating and not
being able to breathe.
Like I looked at my boss and waslike, I don't know why the fuck
I showered.
Why do people, why does anybodyshower?
(11:38):
We we're in a swamp.
I don't understand.
I don't fucking disgusting here.
Yeah.
And uh, so for the people I amin North Carolina right now.
And I am moving Olivia back intoa dorm room for junior year.
And I have to say I don't recallthere being a big jump up in
(12:00):
quality of rooms betweensophomore year and junior year
when I went to school.
I mean, you're still staying inthe, like I stayed in the
sorority house, so I stayed inthe same crappy ass 10 by 10
space that I shared with variousroommates through that college
period.
I didn't make it to my junioryear living with people like my
technical junior year.
I was at home by then.
I mean, oh no, I was in thesorority house for a semester.
(12:22):
We, we all get through it indifferent ways.
It went very poorly.
Imagine that.
Imagine someone stuck yourattention deficit hyperactivity
ass into a place where there'sno structure and a lot of loud
girls and booze like, wow, Idon't know why this didn't go
better.
No, you know, I think go better.
Rush hour like the game, not themovie with Jackie Chan.
(12:44):
No, no, the game.
'cause this is where I had likemy most, this is where I was
down.
I was down bad.
Like I hate it.
I was sad.
And so I didn't really leave myroom that much.
This is, this is also where ourdarling Olivia kind of is.
She's, she's over it likethrough years.
(13:05):
It's been fun.
She's, she's like, yeah.
Six months younger thaneverybody else here, but she's
like, I'm, I'm so done.
I, I don't, I'm so done.
Yeah.
So I'm like, yeah.
Um, I, I didn't get there untilsenior year.
Like senior year.
I was like, I, yeah, I don't,like when I played soccer my
(13:28):
senior year, I don't think Ieven tried to learn everybody's
name on the team, like.
On the outside, I was like,yeah, hey, how's it going?
But on the inside I was like, Idon't, I mean, I tore my, or
partially tore my ACL like twodays into the season and then
had to like limp the rest of theway through it.
(13:51):
Yeah.
After that I just really hatedevery, everybody.
Mm-hmm.
The trainer who was like, Ithink it's just your pain
tolerance.
Is it?
Mm, because I'm talking to youand I'm not crying, so it's not
really my pain tolerance.
I'll show you pain to tolerance.
You cunt, right?
Hey, hey Doc.
(14:11):
I'll see you next Tuesday then.
How about that?
Fuck off.
Anyway, so here I am in NorthCarolina.
I've rented the nicest,prettiest Airbnb and it, I'm,
I'm trying to, I'm trying to.
Like consolidate my thoughts onAirbnbs because they're awesome,
right?
I mean, this place, if you're onthe YouTubes, it looks like a
(14:32):
gothic museum.
I mean, there's just no gettingaround it.
It's beautiful.
There's a chandelier, there'sartwork, there are, there's so
much lighting in here that Ihad, it took me 20 minutes to
figure out what all the switcheswere for.
Geez.
To one of those.
Do you wanna see the, do youwanna see the kitchen?
Hold on.
Sure.
(14:52):
Yeah, let me, let me spin thisguy around.
There's the stairway.
For some reason it looks like anelementary school out in the
hallway.
Yeah, yeah.
I was gonna say, I dunno aboutthat.
Oh, look how pretty, I love apretty kitchen.
I mean, that is nice.
Can you see the Miller LightTower back there?
I did not see the Miller LightTower.
Let me, let me focus in likeback.
(15:14):
Oh, there it is.
There she is.
Nice.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
That's enough.
Making people sick by moving thelaptop around.
Sorry.
Sorry, YouTubes, but I wantedyou to see like, and it's two
floors.
This is the, this is the sameprice as a hotel room that I
stayed in with your mom and dadand Olivia.
Yeah.
(15:34):
I mean, yeah, I mean, forpricing.
Airbnb's definitely the way togo.
It's ridiculous.
There's two floors.
There's a stairway.
Yeah.
Oh, you have to walk through theMichael.
You have to go through the, youhave to go.
I was just gonna say, you haveto go through, say Michael's to
get there.
But I mean once, once you makeit upstairs again, it's the,
you'll see Mrs.
Deme on your way.
(15:55):
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Yes.
And the really nice lady whoworked in the library, like all
of these people are hanging outin the hallway.
I don't remember the library.
I'm not surprised.
I do, can I?
I take out all eight of thesebooks, I will bring them back
next week.
The library, like you say, alibrary, and I think like I, I
(16:16):
can envision the library in St.
Michael's and immediately what Ithought of was throw up.
Right.
Well, it was across from thescience labs and they always
smelled like vomit.
Like I don't know if that wasvomit, but the science labs
always smell.
Yeah, not that great.
Then right down the hall, therewas the computer lab or the
computer room.
(16:37):
There was one computer in there.
Right where we took turnsplaying whatever that game is.
Oregon Trail where you drivedysentery.
Yeah, that I still have no cluewhat we were doing.
Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego?
Such a great game.
Yeah, I got a red hat anyway.
Floppy disc.
Alright.
Floppy disc.
(16:57):
Stop.
Stop.
You're so distracting.
So that's where I am.
I'm here.
And so, so pretty But, but like,the reason that this apartment
is so affordable is that Oliviasaw a street fight the other
night while she was here.
There's always like a homelessperson sleeping on the bench
(17:18):
right outside the front door.
Yeah.
Like yesterday there was likegroup of them and I'm pretty
sure that they were doingheroin.
Like, I didn't like stop to belike, Hey, are you guys doing
heroin?
Yeah.
But I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
So it's It's a little sketch.
Little sketch.
Yeah.
But on the upside, there's areally nice restaurant across
the street where I'm gonna goand have lunch today with a
(17:40):
client.
I would like to have lunchtoday.
And I mean, so getting Oliviamoved in has, has been an
adventure.
I would expect nothing less, butI didn't realize how much stuff
we'd left at her place when weleft and took the keys to the
storage unit.
So I don't know if you guysremember in May, Sarah and I
came down to pack her up, andwhen we left, we took all of the
(18:03):
keys to the storage unit.
Now mind you, there are threekeys.
To the storage unit.
There's, uh, two that Olivia hason her key chain and one
emergency, one that I keep in mybackpack, attached to my
backpack so that it never goesanywhere else.
And I never go anywhere withoutmy backpack, so it's always with
me.
But when we left, we took hertwo keys.
(18:24):
I didn't know this.
Did I know this?
I don't think so.
I think we only discovered itlike when I was halfway home and
I was just fine.
Yeah, we'll, we'll figure itout.
But she took, she took all therest of that stuff over to a
friend's house, so it only tookus like two trips from the
storage unit and she decided shedidn't need her refrigerator, so
we didn't even have to movethat.
(18:45):
Okay, cool.
Great.
So we, we get everything overthere and she's like, okay,
thanks.
I was like, do you want me to,do you want me to help you
unpack?
She was like, no.
Well, I just saw a post thatsomeone wrote about, it's to the
kids, like when your mom wantsto unpack everything, just let
her, when your dad wants tointroduce himself to other
people in the dorm and embarrassyou, just let him, they're going
(19:08):
through it.
I mean, I, I mean, I.
Particularly this summer have somany like conflicting emotions
about, about sending Oliviaback.
Like so many,'cause I know she'sover it.
Like she's not super excited tobe here.
Yeah.
She's not super excited to playsoccer.
She's not super excited aboutany of this.
(19:30):
Right?
Like the first thing I did whenI got here yesterday was just
look up five psychiatristsbecause which is what you need
to do.
Because we have to switch.
Like you can't have the samepsychiatrist that you do in PA
because you can't see them oftenenough.
Because we don't have thetechnology for that these days,
you know?
Right.
To see them often enough whenthey're in a different state,
(19:52):
it's very fucking weird.
Right.
'cause we don't have a telephonethat I can get to if somebody
needed help.
Yeah.
Or I don't have the ability tolearn the differences of the
laws or anything.
It's fucking stupid.
We can't figure out like betweenthe states, what's, what's a
crime and what isn't, what'smandatory to be reported.
(20:13):
Like we can't do that herebecause heaven forbid somebody
listen anyway.
So that's the first thing I did.
So like anxious about leavingher, her, I'm anxious about her
not being at home.
I'm just anxious and I'm neverlike anxious.
That's not my thing.
So, no, it's not.
(20:35):
I also had to text my therapist'cause I haven't had an
appointment in about a month.
And I was like, did.
And then, and then the voices inmy head, you know, the voice,
not, not like the voices, butmy, uh, mental, uh, your brain
voice.
Yeah.
You should name yours.
We should figure out a name foryours, Esmeralda.
And that's too difficult.
(20:57):
Dick.
There are no, there are no othernames in my head right now.
Jennifer brain voice, just, youcould share a brain voice.
It's fine.
I'll think of a name for itlater.
Oliver.
Oliver, do you, you know thatOliver is probably one of the
biggest assholes that will everbe a part of your life, right?
Yes.
Yes.
Oliver is a huge dick.
(21:19):
He's like, well, she probablycanceled all of your
appointments.
And I was like, Oliver and I hada discussion and I was like, I
don't think she would do that.
I think you're not telling methe truth, which is, I mean,
that's, these are all, that's agood sign.
Like you're talking to him soyou're aware that he's there.
Right.
That's the first step.
I, I don't think so, Ollie.
(21:40):
That I don't Yeah.
Think that's true.
Oliver, what I'm gonna do is I'mgonna just gonna text her and
see if maybe I missed anappointment or, yeah.
Like, am I not getting thereminders?
Did I lose my phone number, getlost, like how?
What's, what's up?
I'm just gonna ask her insteadof listening to you.
Yeah.
So I did that and she was like,oh my gosh, no.
(22:02):
I was on vacation for two weeks.
Okay.
And I was like, of course.
Yeah.
That makes so much more sensethan you randomly deciding you
don't wanna talk to me anymore.
Yeah.
So Emily and I have anappointment on Friday.
I found a new PCP, which hasneeded to happen forever and
ever.
Yay.
(22:22):
P CCP isn't the drug, it's yourprimary care physician.
Yes.
So I've had the same primarycare physician since I moved
back here, and to be fair, hewas kind of older when I moved
back here.
When was the last time you sawhim Had strep throat?
Like two years ago.
Okay.
(22:42):
I mean, I've seen the lady forthe Botox a couple of times.
She's taken my blood pressure.
I think that's the same thing.
Whatever, whatever.
And she can fuck off.
Right.
She also sent me a bill for, uh,a couple hundred bucks.
Like after we talked aboutyours, I was like, what did they
just decide to update theirbooks and think, oh wow, we've
(23:05):
been collecting all this moneyfor this other shit and we
forgot that they actually haveto pay us for services.
Oh my gosh.
I have a shredder in my office,so I, yeah.
Fuck you.
Good luck, flowers.
Here's the, my problem nowthough, is I get my, um, I get
my marijuana card through hersugar.
Switch that up.
(23:27):
Yeah.
Which means I'm gonna have to goin like, with her, it was just
easier.
'cause I just called and they'relike, all right, gimme your
credit card number.
Right, right.
That is what, that is what made,I mean.
And I don't, at this point, Idon't want to give her any more
business because I am sofrustrated with my own shit and
that I've heard some of my otherfriends who go to her and I'm
(23:47):
just, I'm over her.
Yeah.
I mean, so I, the last time Iwas there, she held, she sold me
some snake oil pills.
Yeah.
I was like, what is it?
Yeah, go ahead, throw that onthe bill.
You just injected$700 worth ofshit in my face, and so, yeah.
I mean, I was happy.
I got great things out of her.
I was very happy with her forwhat, it's been two and a half
(24:09):
years, and I've never had amajor complaint.
Yeah.
I mean, but it's become, it'sdefinitely, I also felt like I
was maybe a little more, what'sthe word for it?
Not important, but like.
I wasn't just someone thatthey're bringing in like cycling
through.
Yes.
Do you know what I mean?
And now like the past coupletimes I've been there, I felt
(24:31):
like it was just get her in.
Get her out as quickly aspossible.
And I don't particularly likethat, especially.
No, I think that dynamic hasdefinitely changed a bit,
especially when I've waited fortwo hours in the lobby.
Like I would prefer that you.
Don't come in.
Well, and also the doctor that Imade the appointment with isn't
even the one I saw.
Like Yeah, there was multiplethings that I was like, this
(24:54):
just doesn't cut it out if youwant, but we had to pause'cause
my sister was gonna shit herpants.
Oh my God.
Um, sorry guys.
Your face was the best though.
Like I wish, I'm so mad that youstopped the recording.
'cause your face literally waslike this.
(25:15):
Oh my God.
My eyes got real bad.
Yeah.
I mean, I know.
All right, I'm done talkingabout my B Nobody wants to hear
that.
Yep.
I will suffice it to say that Iam.
I was sweating.
So, I didn't mean to interruptyour story, but Yeah.
(25:36):
I mean, the feel, that place wasa little different.
I felt like the last time I wasthere, she didn't remember me
from the last time.
And I mean, I, I know that theysee a lot of people and I know
that it's only one doctor and abunch of patients, but the least
you could do is like a glanceover my chart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's, yeah.
There, there's a stack of thingsthat.
(25:57):
It happened that I was like, allright, yeah, we're done.
We're done here.
And I mean, my PCP is all aboutthe GLP one that I've been
taking, and she's all abouteverything that that's done for
me over the last three years.
So I see her in December, andI'm pretty sure that if I want
to continue, I will be able toget something through her.
I don't think I'm gonna need tocontinue to go to the other one.
(26:21):
Yeah, I mean, that's the thingfor me too.
I wanted someone who wasremotely gonna look at.
Anything other than the amountof pounds I had lost.
Yeah.
I felt like, I felt like shewould remember me once I said
how much weight I had lost, andthen she was like, that is
amazing.
Yeah.
We, we've done so well with you.
(26:42):
What, what?
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, so, so picked a new PCPand then made an appointment.
So I go to my new PCP to get aphysical to make sure that I'm
not dying and, um.
Then arrange to maybe get myVyvanse prescription through the
PCP.
(27:02):
'cause I don't think that thepsychiatrist really does that
much for me other than prescribethe, the Vyvanse and Emily and I
kind of keep an eye on symptomsand side effects and all of
that.
So if I think I'm gonna manageit that way rather than trying
to, you know, do anything else.
'cause I think, I'm not sure,but I think I can see my PCP
(27:23):
virtually, even if I'm in adifferent state.
Yeah, I think so.
I don't know.
It's probably not true.
Like anything to get thescheduled for 12 narcotic that I
take to make me a normal person,um, is gonna be a barrier.
But I don't know if I told youthis, but I mean, not having the
Vyvanse for a while and then,um, and then taking the Vyvanse
(27:49):
has shown me that quit fuckingaround because you need it and
you are a better person on itthan off of it.
Yeah, so there we go.
That is my, that is my healthjourney these days.
Like I like it new PCP, newstart.
I also find that if you're nottaking the Vyvanse, it's really
hard to arrange to take theVyvanse.
(28:11):
So it is important to make theplans ahead of time,
preventatively.
To make sure that this doesn'thappen.
Like when your doctor says, I'mgoing on mat leave and I'm, I'm
not gonna be back, and here'show you can get your medicine.
You should probably write thatshit down.
Yeah.
Um, do that, like, I mean, withyour insurance, how many months,
(28:32):
like prescription, how manytimes do you have to see the
doctor?
You have to see them, I think,every third month, but because
that's what mine is, you have tointeract with them every third,
every month.
Like you can't, yeah.
Vyvanse won't come with anyrefills.
Like there's just none.
You can't get refills until youtalk to the office and be like,
(28:53):
Hey, everything's fine.
I feel great.
Can you have her refill it?
Yeah.
And then the third time you tryto do that, they're like, oh,
you have to come in and see her.
Just make sure that you havethose reminders.
Because I feel like you haven'tdone really well with that.
No, like I was really good withit for, um, I was really good
(29:13):
with it because I would get downto three pills.
Well, I would get down to like10 and be like, you really, you
really need to do somethinghere.
Like, you really need to dosomething.
And then I would forget untillike the next day.
So then I would get down tothree pills and I'm like, Ooh, I
gotta call the office.
And sometimes, sometimes I wouldbe traveling.
Like when I had to have thatprescription filled in
(29:35):
Philadelphia and my buddy Nicolehad to go pick it up.
Yeah.
Um, I feel like you could dobetter.
Yeah.
I feel like I definitely, Idefinitely could do better.
There are definitely ways that,that I could do better.
Do you remember when we read thead or AI for A DHD?
I have been doing a lot of thetechniques from that.
(29:58):
And for about two, three weeksnow, like really committed to it
and damn.
Damn.
So what have you been, what arethe techniques that you're
doing?
Like every time I think ofsomething, I just open up.
I tell like my little tei, I'mlike, Hey, can you open Chad GPT
and tell it to add this to mylist?
(30:18):
And then in the morning I'll login and be like, chat GPT, can
you tell me what I'm doingtoday?
Mm-hmm.
I'm like, can you move that oneto tomorrow?
This one isn't important.
And I can do that all yammeringaway, like I don't have to.
Yeah.
Type.
And if I can do it while I'myammering, then Chad, Chad
organizes it.
He puts it in like its ownlittle chat thing.
(30:40):
So if I forget, yeah.
I'm like, okay, when am I goingto, when am I going to, uh,
jiujitsu this week?
He is like, oh, you have.
Classes scheduled on Tuesday andThursday.
You also have yoga on Monday,Wednesday, and Friday, and you
have 20 minutes of meditation atlunchtime.
I'm like, are you doing all ofthat?
The juujitsu?
No, because I'm outta here.
(31:02):
Uh, I'm in North Carolina, so Ican't until I get back home.
But the yoga, yes, I got my yogamat right there.
Yay.
And the meditation at lunchtimedefinitely is happening, like
even with the chaos this week.
I mean, other than Monday when Iwas driving, it's bad to
meditate and drive at the sametime.
Yeah, I don't think it's a goodidea.
(31:23):
I mean, I did take a littlequiet time where I turned off
the podcast and just, and justhad some thoughts while I was
driving.
Yeah.
So I feel like that was mymeditation substitute.
So.
It does that, and then I've gota little recorder on my phone
that listens to my meetings andmakes meeting notes and action
items that I can then like putinto my OneNote or on my
(31:47):
Remarkable on my little paper.
Tablet.
Yeah.
So that even just Tuesday hasbeen kind of a game changer.
I was like, good.
Oh my God, I don't have to like.
Like my big A DHD concern andworry is that I try to keep so
much shit in my head mm-hmm.
(32:07):
That I, I can't, I can't, like,there gets to be like one too
many things and then my braingoes, you know what?
Fuck it.
And throws everything up in theair and then I can't remember
anything.
Like, nothing gets done then.
So if I can get those thingsout, like, do you remember in
the Harry Potter movies whereDumble doors, like pulling the
shit out with his magic wand andputting it in the.
(32:30):
Cup.
If I can do that, then there'smore room for me to keep track
of, like the things that have tohappen right now.
So I am loving it and I think ifI can knock on wood here, if I
can manage to come in.
Come in.
If I can manage to maintain thatroutine, which is really what it
you, you just have to get intothe routine.
(32:51):
If I can manage to maintain thatYep.
And someone around me can remindme that this isn't a pain in the
ass and it's really importantand a positive thing and it's
not boring and it's not stupid.
And if I can turn it intosomething like a game.
Yeah.
Like gamify.
Exactly.
Like if I can figure a way,probably in like a month to
(33:13):
start giving myself points fordoing some things and then I can
like change that up in a monthand use something different.
'cause I think that part of whatthe AI book talks about is
finding things that work andfinding things of work right
now, and a big part of me beingable to kind of get through.
(33:36):
A lot of the chaos is being ableto find different things that
work like, okay, now I dojuujitsu, but I also like to
dabble in yoga.
And you know, there aredifferent things that are gonna
work at different times, I guessis what I'm trying to say.
And if I can prepare for thatand kind of anticipate it, then
(33:57):
I would be better served.
Do you know what I mean?
That was really rambly, but youkind of get the idea.
Yeah, I know that in a monthit's not gonna be this way and
I'm gonna have to do somethingto tweak it and make it
interesting and exciting and newand fun.
Or I'm gonna be like, fuck, it'sso fucking boring to listen to
chat every day.
(34:17):
Yeah.
Ultimately, the things that makeus the happiest, scientifically
speaking, I don't know theactual studies or anything like
that, but the things that makeus the happiest are the most
boring.
I mean that's, that kind of goeswith it.
And for me, unacceptable.
Like that's just unacceptable.
Like part of what makes me tickas a human being is being able
(34:44):
to do something different everycouple of weeks.
Like that is a, I don't know.
When we're talking about values,I don't know that that's a
value, but that is a thing thatmoves stuff forward.
Does that make sense?
Mm-hmm.
So now we're just gonna do popcoaching with me on the podcast.
You need variety.
You need change.
(35:05):
Yeah.
I mean that's why I switchedjobs every two years.
Yeah, you didn't do that untillike recently.
And that's fine.
I looked back at my resume'causeI was pulling some shit
together.
And even when I was at the samecompany for years and years, I
had a different Yeah.
Job.
Like I got promoted or I movedto laterally every, yeah.
(35:26):
My, the same frequency mine, uh,my, my timeline is three months,
or three months.
Three years.
That seems to be my consistent,like that's when shit, when I'm
like, I gotta do somethingdifferent, right?
I gotta, which me starting thisbusiness is 100% in line with
that time.
(35:47):
Table, and that's how it's been.
I've been with the company I'mwith now for 10 years in
October, and I've had threedifferent positions, which is
consistent with that.
And now instead of switchingpositions, because I'm into my
third year in this position, I'mjust starting a business outside
of it.
I mean, these are the thingsthat if you can recognize them
(36:08):
and work with them instead ofagainst them, then you can, you
can manage the, the challenges,I think like the, the same thing
with making my appointments atthe psychiatrist.
Or to get the Vyvanse, if I cananticipate it.
Like if I can tell Chad, Hey,I'm gonna forget, but in three
months from today, mark thatdate down.
(36:29):
And when I ask you what I'mdoing on that day, tell me I
need a prescription refill.
Yeah, you just have to, I mean,you, you have to listen to Chad
too, like, yeah, yeah.
You gotta, you gotta followthrough like, that sounds so
great.
Actually do it with me.
Like consistency though.
Noah and I are gonna start doingyoga together.
Yay.
(36:51):
But one of the reasons Isuggested that is because I am
bad with consistency on my own.
So sometimes I need a little bitof help and like I'm pretty
consistent with my meditationand doing it daily ish.
Uh, that's it.
It's just consistency.
(37:12):
That's, that's the key to it allis being able to be consistent
with it.
And I do better with consistencywhen I have other people working
with me.
So Noah and I are gonna startdoing yoga together because
that's really what I want to doas far as my exercise.
'cause I need to build moreexercise and physical movement
(37:32):
into my days.
So you wanna come to jujitsuwith me, not even in the
slightest.
Nope.
I need a jiujitsu friend.
No, I should never have to leavethis fucking house for physical
activity.
We have a Peloton bike, we havea Peloton tread, we have some
other step machine, Bowflex,whatever the fuck that is.
We've got yoga mats out thewazoo.
(37:55):
We have everything we fuckingneed, so I should never have to
leave this house.
But yeah, and I mean that's partof, that's part of the boring,
that's part of the things thatmake you happy and your
exercise, your diet, your sleep,those are the most boring, but
they are.
Scientifically proven to have ahuge impact on the happiness in
your life.
This is something that I triedto convey to Olivia like last
(38:18):
week and this week.
I'm like, listen, here are thethings that you can control
about your fitness test that youare currently obsessing about.
Mm-hmm.
You can control how much wateryou drink, you can control how
much sleep you get.
You can control how much proteinand carbs and fat you eat.
You can control.
How you approach this physicalfitness test mentally, like the
(38:41):
things you can control or whatother people did over the
summer.
What other people are gonnathink about you when you're
doing the test?
What, uh, where, where you fallin the rank.
Those are beyond your control.
Like you cannot control whatother people are doing.
So focus on the things that youcan control, even though they
suck and they're boring, eventhough it's how much water did I
(39:02):
drink today?
Right?
Not enough.
Right?
Those are also, I'm so sorry.
We were moving Olivia inyesterday and she said the most
important thing that I've everheard Olivia say.
Oh, okay.
She said, I don't think anyonegives a shit about how much
stuff I have.
I, because.
(39:25):
David was like, what do otherpeople think about how much
stuff you have?
And she's like, oh, no onecares.
Nobody cares.
Nobody's cares.
Nobody cares about how muchstuff I have.
They're worried about their ownstuff.
And even if it's not stuffthey're worried about, they're
worried about something elsethat's not, they're not,
definitely not your stuff.
They might take a look at it andbe like, wow, lib.
Oh, she's got a lot of stuff.
And then they move on.
(39:45):
Yeah.
Then there's another thoughtthat replaces it almost
immediately.
So the awesome thing was thatshe, she gets that.
She doesn't listen to that allthe time, but I mean, she's 20,
so I don't listen to it all thetime.
And I mean, it's my go-to, but Imean, that's just the way it is.
We're all fucking struggling insome way.
(40:05):
It's like Dan Harris and his,uh, his, what's, what's it
called?
His opening line of everything.
Welcome, my fellow sufferinghuman beings.
Yes, because that's over it.
We're all, we're all goingthrough it.
Whether we're leadingmeditation, whether we're
starting a coaching business, wedon't know it all, we're all
trying to figure it outourselves.
Right?
Like they, you don't get a dressrehearsal for this.
(40:27):
Like nothing.
Nothing is promised, nothing isplanned.
And part of life is that, like,that's kind of the beauty of it.
Like you don't know what's gonnahappen.
I mean, for people with a spicyA DHD brain, they get bored real
easy.
The idea that, you know.
You don't know what's comingnext is kind of exciting.
That's where we shine problemsolving, and that's kind of what
(40:51):
makes the A DHD people good atthe jobs that they pick
sometimes, is that it justrequires a lot of pivoting and a
lot of firefighting and a lotof, well, okay, let's think
about how we can solve this.
So that's what I got as far asmental health stuff this week.
Well, these two weeks, and Ilove.
(41:13):
Like the takeaway I think fromfrom your stuff and from my
stuff is that the boring iswhere it is where you find the
growth, the.
Being able to make the boring,palatable.
Like how do I make it so that Ican do yoga every day?
How do I make it so I can beconsistent?
(41:33):
And that's, that's, that's howyou, that's how you move
forward.
Like I love that.
Like I always love the fact thatyou're gonna have to struggle in
order to grow.
'cause when you're going throughit, the struggle seems so
struggly.
For lack of a better word, thestruggle seems so struggly.
I think it's also reallyimportant for us to realize that
(41:56):
sometimes the struggle doesn'tend the way that we want it to,
and we have to move on fromthat.
And it's not always awesome.
Like it's not always like, okay,well that didn't turn out the
way I wanted to, but it's betterthis way.
It's not always like that.
Like sometimes the struggleisn't.
It doesn't land us where we,where we want to, regardless if
we could see it outwardly ornot.
(42:16):
There's some sort of growth inthere.
Yes.
And that's what you just have tobring forward with you.
And you also have to work onacceptance of yourself.
Like that's a huge part of it isbeing able to hone in on
self-compassion and not being sofucking hard on yourself.
Like everything that happensisn't the end of the world.
(42:40):
And.
Everything that happens isn'tyour fault.
And there's ways that we canmove on from things and not be
such assholes to ourselves,because that makes things a lot
worse.
How do you, how do you think welearn to be assholes to
ourselves?
Like this is, this is onethat's.
(43:01):
Been niggling at sort of likethe outside edges of my brain
mm-hmm.
For, for a while.
Like how, why do we do that?
Like, and why do some of us, isis that the mental health aspect
of it?
Is that the brain chemistrypiece of it?
Is that some of us are way morehypercritical of ourselves than
(43:22):
than others.
I mean, that's just afascinating kind of thing.
Yeah.
It's just the way that yourbrain, the way that your brain
works.
Like, I think that most of thetime you have, and probably,
probably a bit of both, justlike everything, a little bit of
balance is the best.
But a lot of times you have, youknow, everything's my fault.
Like, like I think we talkedabout it before.
Like I get an email aboutsomething that I was working on
(43:45):
and I'm like, fuck, what did Ido wrong?
But then on the other side ofthat, you have people who
directly go to blaming someoneelse, like immediately, well, I
know what I did was right.
What the fuck did you do?
So there's kind of a, there'sgotta be a center to that where
you have a healthy dose of eachof those, I guess.
(44:05):
Or you just focus on right nowwhat needs to be done instead of
focusing on what somebody elseor you did in the past that you
can't fucking change.
Right, right.
I actually had a, a conversationyesterday.
Um.
You know, trying to get some,some stuff done at work and
somebody didn't do something andwe needed it done.
(44:26):
And you know, you've been inthese situations, but everyone's
been in these situations before.
Whether you work in likeclinical research or.
Internal railroad tie sales orIT or whatever, like you've been
in these situations before wheresomebody needed to do something
and they didn't do it, and nowit's a crisis.
And yeah, we could have, itwouldn't have been a crisis if
(44:47):
it would've gotten done, butnow, now it needs to get done.
So we had a group meetingyesterday and the one girl was
like, okay, so how do we assesswhose fault this is?
And I was like, I don't thinkit's the time for that.
I think it's the time for us tofigure out who's going to do it.
Like, do you want me to do it?
I'll do it.
I mean, I've got the biggesttitle here, but if it needs
(45:08):
done, I'll do it.
I mean, I didn't say it outloud, but because it just needs
to get done.
And then we can come back and wecan figure out who could do the
postmortem, right?
Like I'm gonna always go back tothe point where I'm responsible
for it.
And that's why I didn't get donebecause I didn't.
Do something, even if it wasn'tmy direct responsibility, even
if it isn't my depart, like Ididn't do something to, to get
(45:31):
it done.
So we can, we can have thatconversation, but right now just
get it done.
Like, let's not Yeah.
Priority.
Yeah.
That has to be the, to be thefirst.
Yeah.
And then priority is getting itdone, and then we'll figure out
where it went wrong.
And it's not always.
I mean, it depends on thescenario.
It's not always what someone didwrong.
It's just something, somethinghappened that threw it in the
(45:52):
wrong direction.
So let's figure out whathappened and how we make sure it
doesn't happen in the future.
These meetings, like thepost-mortem meetings, they're
not to blame somebody.
They're not to blame anything.
What they are is to learn.
And grow from.
Yeah.
This is like, let's take thelesson and figure out how we
can, we can remove the onus fromone person.
Share the responsibility is theway that I like to go into a
(46:14):
lessons learned and somebody waslike, somebody called me and
said, Hey, you have to be moreaggressive.
I'm like, I don't.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I don't think that that'snecessary.
I, I don't, they're like, well,this is clearly blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, it isn't what thisis, is a problem with process.
It's hardly ever a problem withpeople.
(46:35):
It's problem.
Anyway, we're, we're gettinginto organizational change
management at this point, so.
Maybe we pull it back.
But I think that the, the thingwas like out of that
conversation was you, you justhave to work with who you are,
right?
Yeah.
Like, I'm not gonna beaggressive.
I'm gonna learn a lesson andwe're gonna put that in place
and my organization's gonna bebetter for it.
(46:57):
And those, I mean, yeah, we'retalking about organization,
organizational, or, you knowwhat I mean, change process.
Um, but this is also 100%.
Applicable to your life and yourbrain voice and right, like
going back and assessing, notup, not obsessing, but just
(47:17):
assess what happened and learnand move forward like that's the
best we could do.
Take responsibility where youneed to.
And that's all you can control.
You can't force somebody else totake responsibility for their
actions, take responsibility forwhat you do and then move
forward.
I think what you said aboutresponsibility kicked off a
whole series of things in myhead.
(47:38):
Getting back to kind of MarkManson, that was it.
Mark Manson.
Like getting back to Mark Mansonand being like, yeah,
responsibility doesn't alwaysmean that you have to feel bad.
Like responsibility doesn'talways mean that you have to be
like, oh, I suck.
Responsibility is.
Just that, just the lessonslearned, right?
Like I'm, I'm not responsiblefor, uh, getting into a car
(48:00):
accident and losing the, thefeeling on the right side of my
body.
What I am responsible for isreacting to that and finding the
way to make something positiveout of it, or finding a way to
move forward.
Not necessarily be positive, butlike those, those are the
things, like those are the areasof suffering.
Suffering.
(48:20):
Where, where you come out.
Where you come out better.
Yay.
All right.
Quickly before we shut her down,you and I are going on a
meditation retreat.
We are.
We are, yes.
Hmm.
Which I think is gonna be ourversion of help.
Yeah, I was, it's sounded like agreat fucking idea.
(48:43):
Real, until you signed us up.
And then I got the email aboutlike.
All of it and found out we'renot like we're gonna be in, I
don't know.
I don't know.
Here's, here's the thing aboutthis and what, what we should be
practicing.
I have made up in my head, mybrain voice has made up what the
whole weekend is going to belike.
(49:03):
And it's not good.
It's not good.
And these are things that I needto stop and say.
How the fuck do you know that?
You don't fucking know thatbrain voice?
Suck it.
We're gonna go up there with ourminds open and we're gonna
breathe and we're gonna breathelike nobody's business and we're
gonna fuck that shit up.
We're not gonna be able to benear each other because all we
will do is fucking giggle.
So, I mean, we might have to dosome prepping, like on the drive
(49:27):
there.
Yeah, it's, it should be very,very interesting and I'm gonna
do my best from this pointforward to tell my brain voice
to fuck off and not have anyexpectations and just go into it
with an open mind and petroli.
It's gonna be, it's gonna be,it's gonna be fine.
Like it would be, it would bedifferent if it wasn't Dan
(49:52):
Harris, I think.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the thing that, Ithink that's the thing that
pulls me back and makes me feelbetter about it because Dan
Harris is the person who wasable to get across to me that we
can do this without having thatwoo woo, uh.
Right.
We can do this with it withoutbeing, um, yeah.
(50:14):
Woo woo.
Hippy hippie dippy.
Hippy dippy.
Yeah.
Which, I mean, and that's cool.
I'm sure we'll have some hippiefolks there and do your thing.
That's cool.
I accept.
I accept, but he, I feel likehe, um, normalized it.
Way better than anybody that Ihave read about or, or did any
(50:34):
research on it.
'cause you know, before DanHarris, I did a shit ton of
meditation research, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Same, same.
I had, uh, meditation forDummies on my shelf for like 10
years.
Like, I was really into the yogaand, uh, meditation research,
like finding my center.
I tried to do, I tried to domeditation on the Peloton app,
and that was, that was myextent.
(50:55):
And I was like, fuck you.
I mean, I was.
Very adamant about it.
When I was like, I would neverbe able to do this.
This is fucking stupid.
Quit telling me to clear mymind.
I can't bur bur bur.
Okay.
And just to, just to put a framearound it, Sarah and I have
always talked about when we,when we go to hell or purgatory
or whatever thing that happensafter this, where you pay for
(51:17):
your sins, we are gonna be inglass boxes that are next to
each other that are soundproof,where we can see each other and.
We can't communicate in any way.
Like there's no, like eyeraising.
Like we just ha I just have tolook at her.
She can look at me and therewill be a parade of people that
walk past that are begging forcommentary.
(51:40):
And that is, that is our versionof hell.
And now we are taking ourselvesoff to a meditation retreat
where talking is, uh,discouraged, loud, shoulder
shaking, laughter, and braying.
Like donkeys is, I think,implied that that's, uh,
discouraged.
And that is generally how wewould approach a situation like
(52:01):
this is just yes, obnoxious.
I mean, it's gonna beuncomfortable for us because
this is new and the way we dealwith being uncomfortable is
being funny and making eachother laugh.
Yeah.
So that's not, it's gonna be.
It's gonna be fun.
It'll be a great experience andI personally believe that we
will walk away from it with avery different perspective.
(52:22):
I, I'm really looking forward toit.
'cause even if it is, whateverit is, is gonna be something,
something to talk about and forsure share.
And we will have come out of itlearning something.
I am a hundred percent sure,100%.
If I, if I go away to meditateand I can't find a way to
(52:42):
meditate, or can't find a way totake something out of this that
feeds that part of my brain thatI think needs to be fed, then,
then I think that's alsotelling, like, you know, maybe
meditation retreats aren't forme.
Maybe meditation is somethingslightly different for me, so
I'm pumped.
I'm so excited that you're gonnado it with me.
Like, I don't even know whatthis, yeah.
(53:03):
Dan Harris frames it as it's ameditation party.
Meditation party.
Woo woo.
We're gonna eat granola and uh,we're going to live in a tent.
It's gonna be amazing.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Whatever.
Hmm.
Whatever.
Alright, thanks.
Whatever happens, happens.
Shall we all wrap this up?
Wrap it up.
Um, thank you so much forlistening to me Yammer away.
(53:26):
Um, thank you so much for beingmy sister.
I love you and I'm super proudof you and it.
Pop, pop it off.
That's all I got.
Pop it off.
All right.
Love you.
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