S2 E12 Britt Hawthorne all about raising antiracist children

Episode Transcript
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(00:11):
Hi everyone, Simone Davies hereand welcome to the last episode
of season two. Today I get tochat to one of the people who I
have learned so much from in thelast year, year and a half,
Britt Hawthorne. She is aMontessori educator and a
nationally recognized anti biaseducator in the US. And she's
all about creating inclusive andequitable environments for all

(00:33):
learners. And understandably,Her work has been recognized by
none other than PBS, DrewBarrymore. Google Edu,
Association MontessoriInternationale, and a whole lot
more. So, yes, I've learnedabout being an anti racist
parents and educator from her.
But not only that, but how youcan raise critically thinking
children, children can who canadvocate for themselves.

(00:55):
Children who recognizeinjustice, call it out and do
something about it. So we allneed people like this that
parent in a way that shows uswhat is possible. But before we
get to my conversation withBritt, today, I wanted to talk
to you a little bit about how weallow the expression of our
child's intrinsic motivation inMontessori. So when we talk
about intrinsic motivation,we're talking about doing

(01:18):
something because it'spersonally satisfying to us, as
opposed to being motivatedextrinsically. So we've talked
before about like, avoidingusing praise, like good job all
the time, or external rewardslike stickers or bigger presents
and those kinds of things, ormaybe even to avoid something
negative from happening, likebeing punished. So, in
Montessori, one of our goals isto support children to feel

(01:39):
capable, like help me to do itmyself. So not only will they
learn the practical skill,they're also learning to make
discoveries for themselves andfeel like oh, I can do things I
can work this out. And whathappens when we feel like we can
do things, we don't needextrinsic motivation, it's
enough to have it done becauseit was personally satisfying. So
I actually came up with 42 waysthat we allow children's

(02:01):
intrinsic motivation to expressitself in Montessori. And I'll
link to that blog post. But fortoday, I just wanted to focus on
a few of them. So one way we canhelp intrinsic motivation to
express itself is to scaffoldskills. So when I say scaffold,
the term scaffolding is mostlyknown in building you know, it's
that frame, you might build uparound the outside of a

(02:21):
building, so you can work on it.
And when you finish, do you takethe scaffolding down? So in
Montessori, the scaffolding isour help. At first, we help
more. And then we take it downslowly, as the child takes over
more and more steps, become moremore capable, and building it up
for them to have success at whatthey're trying whatever level
they're at. So for example, ifI'm talking about an 18 month

(02:45):
old, who's learning to put theirown shoes on, how much help do I
need to give them So first, Iobserve to see how far they can
get on their own. If they needsome help, maybe for me to open
the shoe, and then they pushtheir own foot in, or I might
see if they need me to modelpushing the Velcro down. And
then I give them an opportunityto have a turn themselves and

(03:05):
take the time to practice thatbit. Then as their skills
develop, I'll need to do lessthan less. And they'll take over
more of the steps themselves.
And then they'll eventuallygraduate from Velcro trainers,
maybe to doing up their ownlaces as we scaffold the skills.
And then as they're scaffoldingthe skills, we're not expecting
them, all of a sudden, we haveto put their shoes on when they

(03:25):
might give up entirely. Instead,we build it up slowly, and then
take the scaffold away. For anolder child, it might be
scaffolding skills to cookdinner for the family. So I
remember at around 10 years old,Oliver wanted to cook dinner for
the family on Sunday evenings.
So he choose a recipe from acookbook and write me a shopping

(03:45):
list. And I'd usually be the oneto buy the ingredients. And then
I'd read through the recipe withhim and be his sous chef and see
what he might need help with.
And then gradually over time, Ineeded to give less and less
help. And so I'm not saying youknow, you go cook dinner he
wanted to cook and then we setit up so he could have that
success building his ownintrinsic motivation. Another
way we see this intrinsicmotivation at work is through

(04:07):
the control of error in manyMontessori activities. So we've
mentioned control of errorbefore in the podcast, but to
remind listeners who aren'tfamiliar with it, it's how many
of the Montessori materials aredesigned so that the child works
things out for themselves ifthere's an error, and they can
try it again. So imagine even asimple nine piece puzzle with
shapes and then maybe the childhas a pentagon in their hand.

(04:29):
And it actually fits in wherethe circles meant to go. And
then the child gets the circlebut it won't fit in because the
it doesn't fit into thePentagon. So so the child works
out. Okay, something can't beright here. Let me see where
else that might fit. And we haveother control of error works
like back in the episode withCara, they had a poetry puzzle,
where she looked at the wholepoem to see if she had it in the

(04:51):
correct order. So again, thewhole poem is the control of
error and they can work it outfor themselves. We talked about
this cylinder blocks to wherethe cylinders will only fit in
one space. And if you have onethat doesn't fit, there must be
an error that we have to workout and to uncover.
Similarly, with something calledthe spindle box, you can always

(05:12):
Google that if you're not surewhat it looks like. And if you
place one spindle in the boxwith number one and two spindles
in the box with number two, thenyou should have no spindles
leftover at the end. But if youget to box number nine, and
you've got too many or too few,then you know, you have to go
back and see where you've madethe mistake. So this is very
different to a teacher or aparent telling us that we got it

(05:33):
wrong, we're definitely muchmore closed. If we're told, you
know, that's not correct. Andwe're much more open if we
discovered ourselves to want tocorrect it. And it's very
satisfying when you work outwhere you got it wrong as well.
In a similar way, to allow achild to work out what feels
good, they also need to know howto solve problems and to make it
up to someone when they getsomething wrong, because we are

(05:55):
going to get things wrong. Andso I call this learning to make
amends. So it's not necessarilyforcing a child to say sorry,
but then to work out a way toshow the other person they know
they did something wrong,they're not going to do it
again. And they'd like to makeit right. So I often give the
example of my son who'd done aprank on his sister and her
friend who were having a sleepover. And he set their alarm to

(06:16):
go off at four o'clock in themorning. And so in the morning,
they were really upset. And heknew he done the wrong thing.
And so they worked out that hewould cook breakfast for them.
And he made them french toast,and he was super pleased with
himself. They accepted hisapology, and he didn't ever do
that prank again. So he'slearning internally that didn't
feel good. How can I make itright? And we don't need
extrinsic motivation, likepunishing him, or on the other

(06:38):
hand, like letting him get awaywith it either. And then the
last one I wanted to talk abouttoday is modeling intrinsic
motivation by the adults aroundthem. So we have to look at
ourselves, do we have a friendlyrelationship with error? How do
we model getting things wrongand finding solutions? Do we
model doing something because itfeels nice to help someone? Or
do we also need big presents andrewards for doing things? Or

(07:01):
maybe we beat ourselves up whenwe get things wrong? So our
children are always looking tous. And we can be modeling
intrinsic motivation, as well.
So I love that idea of intrinsicmotivation, because it's so
different to the way that I waseducated, which was to get good
marks get recognized or to avoidpunishments. And we are wanting
to build children who wants todo things because it feels good

(07:21):
to learn because they're curiousand to help others and the
community and the earth becausethey want to not because
someone's making them. And myhope is really that all children
get the opportunity to learn inthis way. Our children come out
into the world with their eyeswide open, seeing things and
hearing things for the firsttime, curious to discover
everything around them. And howcan we as parents and caregivers

(07:42):
and educators, keep them open tothe world curious to learn to
wonder and to imaginepossibilities. So this is a
great place to get into myconversation with Britt who will
also talk a little aboutwandering and so much more. So
enjoy the conversation.

(08:05):
Hello, everyone. And welcomeback to the Montessori notebook
podcast. Today I am so excitedto introduce our guest, Britt
Hawthorne. I have learned somuch from Britt over the last
year or two I'm not sure what.
But she is someone who I totallyadmire not only for all the work
that she does about anti bias,about anti racism, but just how
she raises her children and isin the world. So Britt, thank

(08:28):
you so much for being heretoday.
Oh, thank you.
I'm so delighted. And thatfeeling is definitely mutual. I
mean, following your work. Istill remember the first time I
met you at AMS. And I justremember just doing this like
really subtle wave and justbeing Hi. So I feel the exact
same way. I appreciate the waythat you make thinking about

(08:52):
working with toddlers havingtoddlers such a joy and
reminding us of that joy. So I'mso delighted to be here.
And that's actually somethingthat I appreciate about your
work as well is that you dodifficult work. You know, anti
racism work is confronting. Itis challenging to us. And yet
you always put on some joy. AndI just wanted to start the

(09:15):
conversation with asking you onyour website it says if you meet
me, asked me about my twochildren, my love of coffee and
my houseplants so let's startthere.
Oh, I love it. And no one everasks that I'm like, always
before I do a presentation orworkshop, I'm like, okay,
someone's going to ask and noone does. But yes, I am. First
and foremost coffee. I lovecoffee. It was funny. I just

(09:39):
right before we pressed record,I went I said oh, let me go grab
a cup of coffee and I came backwith two cups. So I love coffee.
I had no idea. It's one of thosesmall gifts I think the teaching
world gives us is that you gointo the work room, you go into
teacher's lounge and you justsmell that aroma of coffee and I

(09:59):
still remember First startingoff drinking coffee and being
like, Oh, this just isn't it.
And slowly but surely I thinkit's the same thing with anti
racism. You kind of like startedoff like, I don't think this is
it and slowly but surely youkind of create that community.
And it becomes such a socialthing. I live here and Houston,
Texas in the United States. Andcoffee is definitely a thing. So

(10:21):
I love to try new coffee shops,I love to take my children to
coffee shops with me. So thatdefinitely brings me a lot of
joy. At home, I'll transition tohouse plants. I am a house mom
of about, gosh, I can't I don'teven know how many house plants
at this point I have, which Ilove. I started collecting house

(10:43):
plans. As I started myMontessori journey. Actually, my
husband bought me a plant. Formy very first classroom, I
remember learning and they said,in your Montessori classroom,
you must haveplants you must have living
things. Our classrooms areliving, breathing expressions
are ecosystems. And I went back,I don't know anything about a

(11:05):
plant I grew up. And we had, youcan't do air quotes. We had
plants and our home, but theywere all fake. And I remember
once a season, my mom would takethe plants and we would take
them outside and dust them. Butthat was my context for plants.
And so he went to the grocerystore, and he bought me a plant.
And I still have it to this day.

(11:27):
And I slowly have collectedplants over the years, I've
always invited my learners togift plants to the classroom,
and we named them after them. Sothey can stay a part of the
classroom. And then now in ourhome, we have plants that are
named after folks who have beenmurdered or killed. Who Breonna

(11:50):
Taylor, for instance, PhilandoCastile, so we also have plants
to remember them, to honor themto bring them into our home, and
to re always recenter what we doand why we do it. And to
remember, like, there'ssomething beautiful about plants
that they offer us oxygen,right. And when we do anti

(12:12):
racist work, I always tell mychildren, we still have breath
in our lungs. And we can stillspeak, we can still talk, we can
use our voice, we can we have somany actions that we can still
do. And it's such a blessing todo that. And so thinking about
plants in that way. And thenkind of in saying I have these

(12:35):
two children, I have these twochildren. Yes, my two beautiful
children. We have Carter, who's14 now. And we have Cobe who is
eight years old. And I reallystarted my anti racist journey
along with my Montessori journeyboth through them. So I didn't
grow up really knowing whatMontessori was at all. And I

(12:58):
didn't grow up knowing what antiracism was at all. I grew up
just with this idea ofdiversity, knowing that it was
important knowing that we I hadthis ideal of unity, and ideal
of peace, but not reallyactually knowing like how do we
get there? What are the actionsor the verbs that we have to
take. And I think it was thesame thing as like, being a mom.

(13:20):
Like there's this ideal thatlike I always knew I wanted to
be a mom, but I didn't actuallyknow what it was going to take.
Right and and part of motherhoodfor me is a lot of joy. Same
thing with my Montessoripractice. And same thing with my
anti racist practices. Like allof these are practices, they're
not destinations, they're thingsthat we're just we're trying and
we're doing so.

(13:42):
Yeah, that's probably a littlebit about me. Oh, I love that
introduction, because it coversso many parts and how
consciously you also raise yourchildren, you know, to name your
houseplants about, you know,around your work and around the
things that are important to youand to raise critical thinking
children. And that's what Ireally appreciated from all the
workshops I followed, and I'mpart of your Collective

(14:02):
Liberation community whereyou're always getting amazing
guests to come and talk to us.
And I'm always appreciating thelittle stories you tell about
your family, because I alwaysthink they're critical thinkers.
And I think maybe that mighthave started when you were an
elementary teacher in aMontessori classroom, you know,
getting children to, yeah, notalways putting words into their
mouth or assuming it butactually responding with

(14:24):
curiosity and those kind ofthings. And I would love you to
talk to that. Because I thinkit's really hard as parents like
we just are so top down in ourteaching, but I think elementary
teachers really ask suchinteresting questions that open
up conversations, and this canbe a beautiful way to raise
critical thinkers.
I agree. 100%. You know,thankfully, I have this

(14:47):
Montessori background thatreally teaches us advise us to
always respond with curiositywhen our children are asking
questions, and then also tooffering them these like really
curious questions. to like, Iremember having a trainer being
like, have you ever thought, howdo plants eat? I don't think

(15:07):
adult. And I was so taken bythat question like, how
do plants eat? And there's thislike, simplistic framing of the
question, where, you know, ifyou encounter that in a biology
textbook, or in a science class,if they just don't pose it that

(15:28):
way. So even like work with mychildren, like, have you ever
thought, why you have darkerskin? And you know, for them to
say, I do have darker skin? Andthen to follow up and say, Have
you ever thought my I havelighter skin? To make sure that
we're also talking about like,there's no like neutral, or
normal, quote, unquote, normalskin tone? We have? There's a

(15:51):
variety of shades in the world.
And we were thought about, howdid we get our skin tone, and
then we can just start to wonderand ponder. And if you've worked
with really, really young ones,three to six year old, they come
up with such to them reallylogical conclusions, right?
Maybe it's something they had toeat? Or maybe it's because like
chocolate milk is theirfavorite, right? They have like

(16:12):
all of these different ways toexplain it, you know, and then
to say, Well, actually, you getyour skin tone and mixture from
your parents. And it's all aboutour ancestors, our great, great,
great, great, greatgrandparents. And when they come
into elementary school, we'reable to talk about migration, we
can pull up those migrationmaps. So I do try whenever my

(16:34):
children ask questions, torespond to curiosity, and to
know that their questions arealways coming from a good place.
They are curious beings, they'recurious creatures, to always
lean into that curiosity. Andalways, hmm, that question
really stumped me, I'm goinghave to research but I'm going
come back to it. So the same waythat I would respond to a

(16:56):
student is the same way respondto my own children. And
sometimes I'm also honest withthem to say, gosh, that what you
just said, made me feel reallyuncomfortable. I don't know why.
Right. And then to even modelthat to model like, sometimes
the conversations make us, like,have butterflies in our stomach,
or might make our chest tight.

(17:18):
And someday, I have to take adeep breath. And our young ones,
usually if we have a more of atouchy feely physical home, you
know, they might come and giveus a hug. And they might rub our
back and say, Oh, I don't knowwhy you're feeling I said,
I don't know, either.
I'm going have to think abouthow I grew up. Right? So we can
model all of those. But yes, Ijust, you know, three, four or

(17:40):
five years old. Think about whenCobe was that age and questions
he used to ask me like, what isthat man speaking? Is it
Spanish? You know? And sometimesI could say, yes, it is Spanish,
like you identified itcorrectly. And sometimes like, I
don't, I don't know thatlanguage, and then respond with
a question. How do you think youlearned his language? Right? And

(18:02):
so it's like, now we're having aconversation about language is
learned. And it's shared andit's passed. And language is a
gift, right? Like, who gave himthat gift of language? Who gave
you your gift of language?
Sometimes I asked questions thatare close what I call closed
statements. And so that's like apre prejudice. I think of pre
prejudice, kind of like prediabetic. It's a misconception

(18:24):
or it's a myth that they pickedup somewhere. And just like, if
you're pre diabetic, we catch itearly enough, then you can just
put it back down. Right? Like wecan reject it and say, oh, we're
not going to we're not going tokeep it. I really also like to
use that language. I learnedthat from Dr. Kira Banks, that
picking up and putting back downis great language to use with

(18:46):
our children. Instead ofoftentimes, adults will say
like, we've internalizedsomething, right, because it
could be internalized it so muchdeeper, but it feels like a lot
more to unpack, and heal fromversus like, Oh, I picked it up,
you can just put it back down.
So sometimes their statementsare or their actions. I remember

(19:08):
one time, we were at my motherin law's house, and the neighbor
girl came over, and Cobe thoughtwas trying to connect with the
neighbor girl and said, Look, Ican look my eyes like yours. And
he took his fingers and heattempted to slant his eyes. And
I just remember feeling in themoment, mortified. I'm looking

(19:31):
at the mom like this is howwe're meeting. Oh, my goodness.
And also, you know, wanting toreally center myself by being
like, Oh, I don't know where hegot that from. I can't believe
he did that really, like centermyself in my feelings instead of
just looking at Cobe, Cobe. Idon't think that that's okay.

(19:53):
And this is why and then alsochecking on the other child and
being like, how did that makeyou feel? Right like centering
her As the person who was reallykind of objectified in that
moment. And then after thathappens and talking with the mom
and being like, you know what,he has picked that up. And I'm
sure he has picked that upthrough children's books who

(20:16):
over emphasize this slanted, Ihave this trope for Asian people
for Asian characters inchildren's movies, and I am so
sorry, your child had toexperience that. And we'll make
sure we unpack that at home,too. But like, you know,
whenever I feel those feelingsof like, I cannot believe my
child just said that I can'twait my child just did that is

(20:41):
always centering the person whowas harmed. But I also want
Cobe, I don't want him to havefeelings of guilt and shame,
right? I think he was maybethree or four years old when he
did that. And that wasn't hisfault. Right? That's something
going on in our society. And hepicked it up. And I don't want
him to have to turn analyze thatshame.

(21:02):
And that's an example like howyou put it back down because not
ignoring it. Because if youignore it, then they might
assume that this is somethingthat we don't talk about, or you
know, or it's not actuallyaddressed. And they continue to
do it. So I love that you werejust very Matter of fact, and
that's not okay. And you gavehim very specific things about
centering her and modeling. Thatshe's okay.
Yes, I Yes. You know, it's sointeresting. When I first

(21:25):
started in the classroom, whenyou hear these conversations
students are having, you hearthe things that they say you
hear the misconceptions. And Iremember myself being the
teacher that was like, Oh, wedon't say that we're all friends
here are like quickly trying todo a transition, like, Hey, who
wants to go read a book now?
Right, but like, what you'resaying is that when we ignore

(21:48):
it, we're allowing that spacewhere we're allowing the space
for that misconception to grow,for it to fester for to pass on
to other children. And really,we're not addressing it because
I have big feelings ofdiscomfort. And I'm not
addressing it because I don'tactually know how to address it.

(22:08):
And so instead of like I alwaysthink about, and now we have a
teenager, and I feel like everyday there's something to address
and unpack with a teenager. Andso sometimes I will even tell
him, I say, you know, it's like,I know that two plus two is not
five. But I might not be able totell you why it's not five just

(22:30):
yet. So I'm like, hang on, letme figure it out. And so even
just saying that to my teenager,like, I know what you just said
isn't right. But I'm going I'mgoing figure it out. And then
I'm going to get back to you.
I'll figure out a way I'll teachmyself and then I'll teach you.
But it's just making it learningas a journey.

(22:50):
Yeah. And I think I remember areally sweet story that you
shared on Instagram. And Cobe,you know, heard you saying
something about a piano recital,and he liked doing it. You
saying, Oh, you know, you'll befine, or that kind of thing. You
responded with curiosity. Andyou'd like.. I wrote down you
said, "ask me three questionsbefore making a decision." And

(23:12):
his response was, I didn't evenknow what a piano recital is.
And so I said, perfect. It'slike, Oh, that's brilliant,
right? Because I can actuallyaddress that
concern. Exactly, exactly. It'sactually called an ostrich bias.
And we all have this ostrichbias. And it's, even though it's
fictitious, it's not ostrichesdon't actually stick their hand

(23:33):
their head in the sand. It'slike this really great analogy
that whenever something feelslike it's too much or too
overwhelming, right, we've putour head in the sand. So it
might be a bill that we have topay, it might be a dentist
appointment we need to make,that might be a courageous or
critical conversation we have tohave. And then instead of doing
it, we stick our head in thesand and we avoid it, we push it

(23:54):
away. And so like that's whatCobe was doing in that moment. I
was talking to my partner like,Oh, I'm so excited about the
piano recital. We're going goget him this cute little
turtleneck. It's going belovely. And yeah, upstairs. He's
like, I'm doing that. And I waslike, oh, okay, so I could
identify. He's trying to avoidsomething and why. And I was

(24:15):
like, Cobe, why don't you comehere? asked me three questions
about it. And then we can make adecision. He's like, I don't
even know what it is. And I'mlike, okay, and we can pull up
on YouTube examples of pianorecitals. And then he was so
excited by the end of it, youknow, he's like, I can't wait to
invite my family and my friends,how many people can come? So

(24:36):
being able to just to know whensomeone's trying to shut
something down? Even aconversation about racism? I'm
going try to shut it down. Wecan say like, oh, you're Why are
you trying to avoid it? Likewhat's really going on here.
I also really appreciate the youoften give your children an
understanding of the system. Solike, if there's I remember you

(24:59):
giving an example of thehomeless people and say, You
know why they are living underthe bridge, and you show them
that you blame the system assuch. And I think that's so
powerful because people can takeracism very personally or
different kinds of things verypersonally. And actually, it's
mostly systemic. Absolutely. Soyeah, when we first moved to
Houston, Carter was about nineyears old, and just driving

(25:21):
along, and he's in the backseatand out of nowhere, like, Why do
so many people live underneaththe bridges? Like, why don't
they have houses. And as anadult, I'm like, oh, my
goodness, people study this.
Like, they mean, there's, wemake the problem so big, right,

(25:41):
versus trying to make thesolution so big, which is a
whole other thing. And I grew updefinitely blaming individuals,
like, oh, that person needed totry harder, do better, or we
find pity on people, individualpeople, and we kind of make up
these small stories of well,maybe, so on, instead of just

(26:04):
blaming the system instead ofindividuals and say, You know
what, here in Houston, it's afact of life, we don't have
enough affordable housing, thecity does not invest in
affordable housing. And sopeople have to make tough
choices when house when housingprices are so high, they're not
affordable. When we blame thesystem, then we also then can

(26:25):
say, what can we do about thatthen? And then together, we're
driving down the street, and nowwe're brainstorming, you know,
who can we call? Could we writeletters, can we show up to City
Hall, the next time that it's onthe ballot to vote for
affordable housing, I'm going tovote yes, for affordable
housing, you know, so then thatway, we actually can then kind
of complicate the solution, thenwe can say, well, there's five

(26:48):
different solutions now that areactions that we could take to
help versus trying to make theproblem of helplessness so
large, then now we have thesefeelings of being overwhelmed
with my nine year old. Andthat's something that we have at
our house, we have a station inour house that has stamps that
has envelopes. And it also haseveryone's all of our

(27:09):
legislators information writtendown. And so Cobe will randomly
come over to me and he'll say,here's a letter I wrote for the
president, or here's a ladderfor the mayor. And the same
thing, when I hear my teenagercomplaining, I said, Oh, do you
know who needs to receive aletter? Do you know who needs to
receive a call or a piece ofteenagers a tweet on social

(27:31):
media? And he'll say, Yes, okay,I will do it. But it's making
sure you know, we're blaming asystem, but then holding that
system accountable to becausewe're raising a generation of
citizens, not just individualhuman beings out here, like
living on their own lily pads,not just consumers, right? Like

(27:51):
we're thinking about, I want mychildren to be engaged citizens.
So what is that going to take?
Yeah, and I mean, you're alsomodeling the whole time about
how you show up in the world.
And I remember an example youwere talking about, you're at
the local library, and there wassome teenagers working in the
children's section. And thelibrarian had come across and

(28:12):
said, I'm sorry, you can't workhere. Because this is the
children's section, and you thenmodeled, you stood up, you're
like, I don't feel comfortablewith this, I'm going say
something because, you know,they also don't need to be in
the adult section where they mayfeel uncomfortable, and like
showing up, like, and showingthat action, like, I feel
uncomfortable, and I'm going todo something about it. Not sure.

(28:32):
I think you're being acommunity, and you're looking
out for people who they can'tmaybe advocate for themselves
these skills.
Absolutely. And it was that thatstory was so inspiring for
myself, like I think about thatstory all of the time. And I
have to say, it is so importantto have a community to have a

(28:54):
community of folks. And in thatmoment, my community, I'll be
really honest, was Instagram. Iremember processing in real time
in my Instagram stories andthinking to myself, I will just
go back and delete all of thisin an hour. But I needed even if
it's like it's like a talksession, right? Like I'm even
though I'm just kind of talkinginto the wind. And I'm telling

(29:16):
myself, like, come on, right?
You do this for a living? AndI'm asking myself, am I actually
in harm's way? Is there anydanger? Like what is the risk
here? And it's like, there'snone. There is no risk at all
except big feelings, to advocatefor these two teenagers who were
being asked to leave the safetyof the children's area. And then
after all of that was said anddone and you know, I chatted

(29:40):
with the librarian, and shereally pushed back she stood
firm and her well, this is therules the way that it is. And
then I pushed back and said,Well, can I see the written
rule? And then we can go fromthere. And me just saying, Okay,
I'm going to stay engagedbecause I am committed to the
outcome of this situation.

(30:00):
Luckily, the supervisor came outand she's like, you're
absolutely right. They areminors, they have every right to
be in the children's area. Andit was so funny that supervisor,
I don't know if you know, thisis the safest place for them. I
was like, that's what I wasthinking. This is a major, where
we live in a major Metro city isa public library, which has so

(30:22):
many beautiful things, why wechoose to invest in our public
library and support our publiclibrary. And there's realities
of being at a public library.
And then we're in the car, we'reheaded to go pick up my oldest
from school, and then Cobe'slike, Mom, you
did good work. There's like,What are you talking about? He
was like you did good work. Youshowed up for those girls. And I
was like, oh, my goodness, youwere watching. I was so stuck in

(30:44):
my own feelings of like, what ifI say the wrong thing? What if
the two girls feel like I'moverstepping my boundary? You
know, what if I make thesituation worse, I was so stuck
in me that I didn't realize youknow what Cobe and the other
children were watching what wasbeing modeled for them.

(31:05):
And they were being and theywere watching. You know, who's
going to say something? Andit's, and it's really
interesting, because youngchildren are so on point when it
comes to identifying andfairness. Right? Like they they
can immediately call out, like,Carter, like, Why are these
people living underneath thebridge? or Why do people have to

(31:28):
ask for money on the corner? Orwhy do we need food banks?
Like,they're like, wait a minute,
this just doesn't seem right tome. And as an adult, I've spent
so many years trying to makesomething that's not right
right. And I've likerationalized it so many
different ways that when a youngchild asks you so

(31:50):
simplistically, why you reallylike, you know what, it's, it's
honestly, it's not right? Theseare, and you we lean a lot on
the fundamental needs inMontessori, too. And that's like
a great way that we judge issomething a right? Or is
something a privilege? And so,you know, we think about those

(32:10):
fundamental needs is food aright? Is housing a righ?. And
then it's like, it's a yes orno, if it's a yes, it's a right,
then what are we going to do toadvocate for that? And if it's a
privilege, it's like, oh, well,I mean, everyone might not get
to live in a five bedroom house.
That's a privilege. But everyonedoes deserve shelter. And then

(32:35):
we go back to the fundamentalneeds, why does everyone deserve
shelter? And it's right there?
No, we talk about because itkeeps us safe from the weather
from, it keeps us safe from ourkeeps our belongings safe, our
possessions safe, it allows uskeeps our mental and emotional
stability safe when we can closeour eyes safely at night so that

(32:56):
we can sleep. And then we can wecan kind of unpack that and help
them to have that language ofwhy is this right? And then what
are we going to do to worktowards that?
Yeah. And I think that like,some folks might say, Oh, well,
I live in a predominantly whitearea, I'm not being exposed to
these kind of situations. Butthere's so much opportunity to

(33:17):
pick up and point out theinjustice, you know, you use in
your trainings, often theexample of like a crack in the
pavement, and who would actuallybe, you know, disservice by
having a crack in the pavement,and you can have this
conversation. And again, thenonce you've identified the
injustice, what you're going todo about it, and even going a
little bit out of your way maybeto go to a different grocery

(33:37):
store than you're used to, andlooking at the tile and the
lighting and like, why do youthink that that might be
different to the one where weregularly shop? And actually,
you can seek these opportunitiesout? Yes, yeah. There's
like, there's kind of twodifferent when when folks come
to me with that question,there's two different things I
think about I do in my own homewith my own children. There's
one of like, how are we going tointentionally create diversity,

(34:02):
or create representation, so mychildren feel comfortable and
competent around humandiversity? So there's that one,
and for us what seemed like aradical choice, then, but maybe
not so much. Now. We actuallychose to move. That's how we
ended up in Houston, because wewanted our children just to have
that opportunity experience tobe around human differences. So

(34:25):
for us, we moved from Illinoisto Texas. Houston is one of the
most racially and ethnicallydiverse cities in the United
States. And so we made thatchoice. But at the same time,
Houston is also really raciallysegregated. So it's not enough
just to move to the city that onthe census data says, oh,
they're so diverse. When youstill have schools that are

(34:47):
racially segregated, you haveneighborhoods and you have
parks. So it's important for usthen to go and support public
services whenever we can. So wealways try to go to the library.
I remember early, early in myparenting journey I wanted, I
had this dream of having likethis beautiful home book, this
book collection at home forCarter. And I wanted him to have

(35:10):
like all of what I wouldconsider the classics. And I
just, I just had this like,beautiful idea of this reading
nook. And then going through myjourney, I'm like, wait a
minute, if I'm privatizing orindividualizing books, that
means I'm taking Carter out ofhis community. And I'm also
divesting from those publicspaces. So for us supporting the

(35:30):
Public Library, but that meansthat we check out different
public libraries. And then, andI do that so that Cobe can have,
you know, if a authenticrelationship happens, because
him and another child are bothreading the same book, great,
maybe I'll connect with theparents and see if we can keep
it going, as well. So I'mthinking about where are there
other children that are aroundmy children's age, where I can

(35:54):
expose them to differences. Wealso do that with playgrounds
here in Houston, we have what'scalled inclusive or adaptive
playgrounds, and the playgroundis 100% created for children
with physical disabilities. Andso we go when we find those
playgrounds, and we play, andfor a long time, we had no idea

(36:15):
that they were considered likeinclusive or adaptive. I was
like, Hey, we're going todifferent playground today, like
we're going on an adventure. Andso and Cobe has found and formed
friendships and relationships,just from those small moments.
Sometimes we leave theplayground and he didn't connect
with anyone, and that's okay.
Sometimes we leave theplayground and he's like, can
you get their parents phonenumber? I want us to come back

(36:35):
again on Tuesday. And I'm like,I sure can, then there's also
that noticing that unfairness,and injustice as well. So as
we're going to those differentlibraries, we're going to the
different grocery stores arealso wondering, like, what is
the same?
What is different?
Why do they have the same foods?
What about that, and there'syoung ones, like when you start

(36:58):
to give them permission just towonder and ask, and to be
curious, they're going to pickout even more than we could
right? they're going to noticehow many lamp poles like, what's
the lighting? they'll notice.
Can you see the yellow lines onthe parking lot? They're going

(37:19):
to notice. Like, where do youput the cart back? like little
things that matter to them,they're going notice those
things. Of course, they noticedthe tile, because they're always
looking at the cracks, they'realways looking at the pattern on
the tile, because maybe theymight like jump from square to
square, right? Or they'repracticing their colors, things
that we really take for granted.
But as we're noticing the tile,it's like, hmm, is their tile

(37:40):
clean? Right? Is the tile safe?
Does the tile have cracks? We'realso looking at the lighting.
And then especially if it's thesame brand of grocery store, or
the same brand of like yourshopping store, and it looks
vastly different. Again, we wantto make sure we blame that

(38:00):
institution and say, You knowwhat, they're not investing.
They're not putting money backinto this institution. I wonder
why and Is that fair for thepeople? So we definitely we try
to go all around town, we try tothink about what's in our zip
code, what's not in our zipcode. We do some of it, because
we're looking for thoseauthentic relationships. And we

(38:22):
do some of it because we reallyare looking for identifying,
practicing identifying andfairness, practicing our
language, and then alsopracticing our advocacy to
Yeah, and to give credit wherecredit's due. We're definitely
talking about the anti biaseducation framework right now,
because we've talked aboutdiversity, we've talked about,

(38:44):
you know, recognizing injusticeand taking action. And goal one
of these anti-bias framework isthen affirming the child
themselves. And so, you know,you have the child has to see
themselves represented in theirhome and their community and all
those kind of things. And youalways say, I mean, your
workshops, you know, we spendthe most time on this goal one,
right? Yeah, that'sright. Yeah. So the anti bias

(39:06):
education framework wasdeveloped by Louise
Derman-Sparks and Julie OlsonEdwards back in the 80s. So it's
been around for some time, andit was developed for early
childhood educators. So it'sdevelopmentally appropriate.
It's researched based, thethings I love, love love about
the framework, why I used it inmy classroom, and I also use it
in my home with my children, isit's bringing these larger

(39:28):
social justice issues thatalready exist, it bringing them
into our homes, bringing theminto our classrooms and giving
language in a developmentallyappropriate way. It's not trying
to come up with or createhypotheticals, right? It's
saying that our children arealready recognizing the
unfairness. So how do we helpthem to negotiate the

(39:49):
unfairness, how do we help themto have the language of it? It
is like Montessori where it's aconstructivist approach. Again,
so I'm not making it up. It'salready here. And I'm helping
the child to construct it ontheir own. It's grounded in real
experiences, which is reallyimportant both in Montessori and
in social justice work. It's alens that I'm looking at myself,

(40:13):
I'm looking at my own biasesthat I have picked up, right,
but my own biases that I alsonot just like, picked up. But
this one's also really hard forme to think about the ways that
I continue to confirm thosebiases, right? Like, I have to
check myself whenever I see anews article. And I'm like, Oh,

(40:33):
that looks like a great article.
And then I'll see who thearticles by and I'm like, Oh,
I'm not going read that. There.
It's not going to be right. AndI say, Oh,
I have to, you know, Ihave to check. How am I trying
to confirm that? It also is aframework that allows mistakes
to happen, because we are moreconcerned about progress than

(40:54):
perfection. Butter, our dogsaid, Yes, I agree. So she might
bark here. And the other thingsI really like about the
framework is that it lets youknow, right away, you have to
embrace conflict, that you haveto embrace disagreement. And
that's really good, it'shealthy. And what I try to
remember is that conflict is apart of human nature, right?

(41:16):
Like conflict leads, oftentimesto growth. And I think about the
relationships that have kind ofdissolved over the years, it's
not because of a conflict, it'sbecause of the time that tension
that I didn't give to arelationship, or because I felt
like I couldn't actually givethe relationship, the truth that
it needed. So I really want tohelp my children to know that

(41:38):
conflict is okay. It's healthy,it's a part of human life. And I
want them to be able to stayengaged in the relationships
that they want by giving truthin a way that truth is received.
But giving truth, offeringtruth.
I'm trying to think anythingelse I
love about it. I just love theframework, I think it's a great

(42:00):
framework.
It's super practical as well.
And like when I'm reading it,I'm working through it with a
friend. And we take a chapterand we really digest it really
talks about how you internalizedracism, your experience with
racism, but also, it's got a lotof intersectionality. Like
there's a chapter towards theend of the book, on gender, and
on all different types of theintersectionality of not just

(42:21):
racism, but how antibias canshow up in other platforms like
disability and those kinds ofthings as well. And it gives
really practical language likeyou what you can say if the
child Yeah, those misconceptionsthat you were talking about
earlier, you can say, how doesthat Yeah, that makes me feel
like this. And it's so powerful.
It's such a useful book willdefinitely put in the shownotes

(42:44):
a link to the book. I think youcan get a lot out of it.
Yes, yes, yes, that it's awonderful book. And I always
recommend, even parents,caregivers can use the book. I
know it's created for educators.
But there's so much usefulactivities, even in the back to
like looking at our homeenvironments, how we prepared
our home environment, you know,what in my environment is

(43:05):
offering my child a mirror? Likewhat is offering them an
affirming experience, one that'spositive one that's going to
reflect their lived experiences.
What What am I offering in myhome environment, windows, and
that's from Rudine Sims Bishop,windows, mirrors and sliding

(43:25):
glass doors. What am I allowingthem from the eyes of a creator,
to experience another world? Andwe're always thinking to whether
it's a window or a mirror? Isthis a positive representation?
Is this an affirmingrepresentation of both? Or is
this a stereotype? Is thissomething that's distorted? Or

(43:48):
am I perpetuating, like a mythor misconception? I think about
that. Going back to Cobe, and heslanted his eyes, you know, I
immediately was like, oh, gosh,where did he pick that up? Like?
Is it a children's book that Ihave in my home? Is that a
cartoon maybe that he waswatching on television. And

(44:08):
sometimes we don't know wherethey pick it up. Right? So
especially if we don't knowwhere they pick it up. We just
know when that happens. Okay,this is where the work is going
to be. And I'll make sure that Ioffer even more books that are
representing that have Asiancharacters in it will have even
more conversations. And even Ihave to think about my own

(44:28):
materials that I have formyself, like, what magazines Am
I having in my home for me? WhenI'm scrolling? My I spend way
too much time on Instagram, butwhen I'm scrolling Instagram and
Cobe looking over my shoulder,right, I want to make sure that
I'm scrolling a feed. That'sgiving him identity affirmation,
but also giving him positiveexperiences tip for differences

(44:50):
too.
Yeah, and I think that preparingour environments is such a big
part of this anti racismparenting. I remember Following
a couple of workshops that youdid on our book collections, and
I just thought, you know, theseanti racist books, but actually
you specify, there's a kind ofdifference between a social
justice book collection, and onethat is an affirming book

(45:11):
collection. And I was like, Ah,that's so interesting. Like,
actually, we want examples ofblack joy, we don't just always
want the black character to bethe one that's left out, and
then they make amends, you know,we just want a black, you know,
child to be living their truthand living their best and
examples of that. And there's somany beautiful examples that you
always share, but and then thesocial justice book can be like

(45:31):
when you're actually availablefor a conversation. Or in that
case, that there isn't anincorrect kind of style book, it
doesn't mean you have to throwit away, but you could use it in
compensation, not one that youwould just leave it out for them
to explore for themselves. Butwhy do you think that they did
it this way? And is that how itshould be presented and
portrayed? Yes,I am. So glad you brought that
up. Because I do not think it istalked about enough. As like

(45:55):
there's a there's a particularway to create or curate a book
collection, in the home and inthe classroom. But in the home,
you know, we're really focusedon affirmation. And that means
there's going to be a lot ofjoy, a lot of laughter, there
are also going to be a lot ofstories that have these like

(46:15):
shared themes, like the firstday of school kind of scaries,
or losing my tooth, right?
There's, there's no kind ofsocial injustice with that. But
they have these shared thingsthat all children will
experience at some point intheir life. And so those books,
there are books that we can justhave in our home, that our
children are always invited togo and read and connect with.

(46:38):
Those are the books that wecould cuddle together and we can
read together as well. And thenwe have books that are social
justice books. And those books Ialways say like, I think about a
white glove service, you know,if you've ever had furniture
delivered, and they'll say, Doyou want white glove service
where they bring it all the wayinto your house? Right? Those
are the books that we kind ofhave this white glove service

(46:58):
where we have this intentionaltime to sit down with our
children and say, Hey, I pickedup this book, and I would love
to read it with you. And thatway, again, we're making sure
that we are have practicingaccurate language. We're also
practicing having conversationsabout social justice, anti bias,
anti racism, havingconversations about ableism or

(47:20):
colorism, sexism, that we'rewe're talking with them, because
so many of us if we sit back andwe think about how many
conversations did my caregiversdo my parents have with me about
discrimination? for a lot of us,it's going to be zero to five.
It's like they've had we've hadfive or less than, and it's
typically only if we experiencedthat form of discrimination.

(47:43):
Did we have it?
So we have to think about ourchildren, we're trying to give
them the tools and the skills tohave the conversation as they
get older. But it also meansthat we want to make sure our
children don't pick up orinternalize the way things just
are. And when I think about whenI first started teaching, and I
had this book collection, I hadso many books featuring black

(48:05):
folks. Because our environmentsoftentimes reflect our soul. I
am black. And so I have all ofthese books featuring black
people, but a lot of them werepeople who are experiencing
oppression.
So I have to ask myself,what are my students taking away
from that conversation? And inmy home, I'm raising two black
children. If my black childrenonly see themselves experience

(48:28):
oppression, what am I tellingthem? Right? How am I showing
them, like what you can achieve?
I want them to know like, ifyou're into video games, you can
play video games. If you're intocreating drones or building a
drone flying a drone, if you'reinto robotics, if you're into
sewing, I want to make sure thatyou find books that reflect

(48:49):
that. Now, in the book world,we're seeing a lot more
representation. But even whenCarter was in children's house,
it was not the way that it is.
So one thing that we did is wecreated a lot of our own books.
So we got just blank books, orwe would get white sheets of
paper, stapled them together.
And I would say, well, you cancreate your own book, you can be

(49:11):
the author of your own story. SoI'm like, what, what do you
like, and he was really intoselling for a few years, we've
created all of these differentstories about Carter, who loves
to sell. And so we justdocumented his journey. And we
would put the books in our bookcollection, we'd say now you can
see yourself. So I also don'twant, you know, parents to say,

(49:32):
but it hasn't been created.
Right? That's that's releasingor giving up a form of power. We
can always say, well, we cancreate it, we can create what we
hope to see in our home, we cancreate what we hope to see in
our classroom too.
Yeah, and so much of this work.
Like I think the last thebiggest case is like preparation
of ourselves. Because we canraise critical thinkers, we can

(49:53):
prepare our environment but wehave to be doing the work on
ourselves to unpack our biasesto be modeling. I also love that
you're always conscious to youknow, talk about your pronouns
and how do you identify? Andthen you know, you see Cobe
later saying, Oh, I wonder howthey identify, and it basically
mimicking us because of the workwe've done in ourselves. Yes.

(50:15):
It's interesting. If Cobe cameon here right now, I would say
Cobe. How do I introduce myself?
Because him and Carter thinkthat it's the funniest joke at
the time. Oh, would you like tocome? Okay. Okay, we'll have a
little cameo of Cobe and he'sgoing come because I think it's
the biggest stroke. Um, butyou're right. It's not only do
they find like, they can pickfun at me and laugh. But Carter

(50:36):
this summer is in a leaders intraining summer camp and there's
someone else in the summer campwho is gender, their gender is
non binary. And their pronounsare they them, and the person is
being is being misgendered quitea few times. And so Carter, the
first day came home, and heasked me, he said, I know

(50:56):
they're being misgendered Do youthink it's okay, if I correct
people? And I said, I think theywould actually really appreciate
you taking the burden off them.
And so the next day, he said,you know, you keep misgendering
them their pronouns, are theythem, and the person ended up
writing him a note saying, Thankyou so much. Could you keep
doing it? And Carter was sohappy, so proud of himself, but

(51:20):
it's having those conversations.
Okay, so Cobe. Let's see if youcan, can you come speak right
into my mic. When I introducemyself? How do I introduce
myself? Hello, myname is Britt Hawthorne and my
pronouns are she her, and youjust yell it? Okay. My children
think I'm pretty loud.
You are!I just project my voice. No. But
yes, I'm always modeling. Andeven with my children, I asked

(51:46):
them for filling out a form atthe dentist office for filling
out the form at summer camp. AndI will say, what are your What
are your pronouns? At first welook, do they have a space for
pronouns? And if they don't,I'll say, Oh, well, we can just
write it in. And so we write itin both my children identify as
cisgender. And so I'll say,Cobe, what are your pronouns?

(52:07):
Like, ma'am? You know, mypronouns, I'm like, I have to
ask. And so he'll say he/him,and so I'll write it down
he/him, when we go to church,and for a while, they didn't
have pronouns on the name tags.
And so my children would writein the pronouns, they would ask
other people, could you put yourpronouns and now it's a part of
the practice at our church. Soit's always Yeah, just modeling,

(52:29):
thinking about what did I notlearn what I wish I would have
learned, and then knowing I canstill learn it. Like, it's
never, you know, we say it allthe time. It's never too late.
It's not, it's never too late tolearn. It's never too late to
put it in to application to putit into practice, and our
children will pick it up.
Yeah, and I've also seen youmodel land acknowledgments in

(52:51):
the beginning of your workshops,which then, you know, that's
showing people, this is anotherway to do things. I've seen you
model redistribution of wealth,like if you have wealth to
redistribute, this is how you doand I redistribute to this cause
and this cause, because I knowyou love the Keres Children's
Learning Center. And then peoplesay, Oh, if Britt can do that, I
can do that, too. So I thinkthat you model yourself not only

(53:14):
for your children, but also forthe community. So I really
appreciate that. And evenanother one is like the idea of
making space and taking space.
So for folks of color, youalways say, you know, please,
you have permission to you know,take space here, and can you
please make space and I thinkthat's so beautiful to be
reminded. It's really grace andcourtesy that adults? Yes,

(53:35):
I love that you said grace andcourtesy, because oftentimes we
think of grace and courtesy is,you know, how do we say hello?
Or how do we blow our nose? Or,you know, there's this grace and
courtesy aspect to it, that it'slike, how do I take care of
myself? Then there's a grace andcourtesy of how do I communicate

(53:58):
with one another? But thenthere's also grace and courtesy
of like, how am I perpetuating?
What is the status quo? How am Iperpetuating the way that things
are right now? And then whatgrace and courtesy lessons can
we create? So that we can createthe world in which we all want
to live in? Right? Um, so I lovethat you said it's like greasing

(54:21):
courtesies. I think about thatall the time. I'm like this is
This, to me is grace andcourtesy, it's creating space.
It's really anti racism, andanti rights work. But anti
racism is all about recentering, like re centering
people of the global majoritybecause we know historically,
for hundreds of years, they havebeen decentered they've been
erased. They've been silenced.

(54:43):
They, there's distorted views,so we have to spend our time re
centering, folks.
And another thing I think youmodel beautifully is taking care
of yourself. Like you showyourself working out, you show
yourself drinking your coffee,all the things that you do like
your skin care and you show upsometimes with your bonnet, you
know, on Instagram Live. Butthat's really important for us

(55:05):
to say too, because you onceposted a quote that said, if
you're tired, rest don't quit.
And it was by darling andillustrated by @minna_so. But I
think sometimes we do want toquit. And it's like rest.
Yes, yes. And no one, you know,what I wish I would have known a
few years ago is no one can alsotell you how long that rest will

(55:27):
last. I remember thinking, Oh,I'm just going, I'm just going
rest off, you know, and you kindof start with like, I'll take a
break today. And then it waslike, I'll take a break for a
weekend. Sometimes that rest isjust taking a break for the day
or for the weekend. Andsometimes, the rest is a lot
longer, right? But it's knowingI'm on a rest. And I need to

(55:47):
fill back up, I need torejuvenate. I need to take care
of myself. But then I am goingto return back to the work and
returned back to the work.
Yeah. And we have so muchexciting news to share, because
Britt just handed in hermanuscript for her book, which
is of all about anti racistparenting. And I'm sure you

(56:08):
know, you appreciate that fromso much that we've learned from
you today. Britt? And would youlike to tell us about how it's
have been to write it? And yeah,anything else you want to
reveal?
Yes, I, oh, my goodness, I hadno idea what you know, you hear
it all the time, writing asintense. And it's not until you
go through that writing processand so on, I use your book, your

(56:31):
book is actually my guidinglight. I look at your book all
the time and say, you know, howdoes Simone make these really
large concepts, big conceptsabout Montessori or about
toddlers, and you're able towrite so clearly, and so simply
about a topic and then givethese practical next steps. So
that's kind of like, I hope thatin my book, I'll be able to do

(56:53):
that. It's all about antiracism. It's all about raising
anti racist children. And muchlike anti bias, what I've
learned about anti racism isthat the focus is on justice,
right? Like, that's what we hopeto see. That's what we hope to
seek is justice. And we hope atthe end, whenever that is, we,

(57:13):
none of us will be here for theend. But we're hoping each
generation, it gets closer,we're hoping at the end,
there'll be equality, right,like, so that's the final
destination, we think of likepeace education, we think of
equality that's at the very end.
So it's going to be informationwhere we're talking to
everything we've shared today.
How In fact, do we help ourchildren have loving

(57:35):
relationships with one another,especially cross cultural, cross
racial loving relationships? Youknow, how do we take care of our
community? How do we create athriving strong community that
we're all invested in? How do weraise the next generation of
citizens? We think about alsoradical minds? How do we help
our children to think aboutlarge concepts around racism

(57:59):
around discrimination aroundbias around prejudice? And how
do we respond to that? How do wehelp them also to have the tools
and the skills to identify whensomething is racist? How do we
have them kind of like, think ofit as an onion and peel back the
layers to really get to the rootof it, and then start with
actions from there. So I'mreally excited. I have a co

(58:21):
author with a book to NatashaIglesius. And so she's helping
me and it's this reallybeautiful story. She was my
editor. And then she turned cowriter, and she helped me so
much to find my voice. I didn't,I didn't even know I didn't have
a writing voice. And I rememberit took me about three months to
find my voice. Like, you know,how, how, first, was it first

(58:47):
person that I had to figure thatout? So I'm going to write the
book and first person who thenlike, how do I want to come
across in word form. So nowshe's my co author, which is
amazing. And I would love Love,love to reveal the title I'm
I've yet to reveal the title toanyone. This will be a debut.
Yay, we love it. I know. Okay,so everyone can expect next

(59:10):
summer, a book called "Raisingantiracist children - a
practical parenting guide." Sowe're hoping it's something to
get folks started on theirjourney that they can pick it
up. And we're also hopingthere'll be activities anywhere
from birth through 18 years old.
There's a lot of my stories asyou shared of my own journey of
me just figuring it out figuringout how do I raise anti racist

(59:34):
children in a racist world? Youknow, and how do I make sure
that they still feel good aboutthemselves that they feel like
they have the tools to engage incritical conversations and also
to dismantle racism? So yeah,but I'm really excited about it.
We're in the editing process nowwhich is a whole other

(59:55):
beautiful, I'll say beautifulprocess.
And then hopefully some rest.
Goodness, that sounds so good.
So we cannot wait like this bookwill be so helpful for people,
this practical guide of how wecan get started to raise these
critical thinkers and yet moveit the steps forward. So Britt,
thank you so much. And not justfrom me, I know that you have

(01:00:18):
helped so many people in ourcommunity, and begin our anti
racist journey, many of us toolate. But we have started. So
thank you for all of the workyou put in, and also for resting
and sharing your beautifulfamily with us and your journey.
Thank you. Thankyou for being along on the
journey for listening andlearning. I love how Tiffany
Jewell says Do you know what youstarted? Right? And so it's like

(01:00:39):
you started, you're here. Andthat's wonderful. And so thank
you. Thank you everyone forlistening. And I hope to connect
with y'all soon. Sounds great.
Thanks. Great. Bye.

(01:01:05):
Right. I love how much I learnedfrom Britt, she has a way to
make these topics accessible andpractical, and to call us out in
a way that doesn't humiliate usbut encourages us to do some
serious looking at ourselves. SoI'm very honored that you could
join us to close this season.
And I can't wait for their bookraising anti racist children a
practical parenting guide. Yes,you heard it here first to come

(01:01:26):
out summer of 2022. And Brittalso mentioned the fundamental
needs chart that they use inMontessori elementary for six to
12 year olds. And for those ofyou not familiar with this, I'll
add a link in the show notes, aswell as links to books that
Britt recommends. And I'll alsoadd links to some of my favorite
Instagram posts from herInstagram, like the
accountability pyramid. Also agreat post about anti racism

(01:01:49):
goals that we can set, and someother ones as well. I'll also be
sure to link to her website, herInstagram and her community
called collective liberation,which I highly recommend. And
also to a wonderful workshopthat she did last year with
Tiffany Joel about anti biasparenting. And so if you've been
resting, this might be a goodplace to pick up again, and keep

(01:02:10):
going. So to find the show notesfor any of the episodes, you can
go to my website, the Montessorinotebook comm and click on the
podcast app. And now it's timefor a listener question. And
today's question is from Maegand Maeg asks, I'm really having
a hard time preparing workcyclesfor two daughters with totally
different interests. They'rethree and one year old. Also, my

(01:02:30):
three year old is so focused andloves doing things all by
herself, even when she was justa baby. However, the one year
old loves to join her all thesystem. Another factor is a very
small apartment, we only haveone low shelf that could fit the
room. So most of the time forthe one year old. We've prepared
the shelf, what should I do willlive in apartment for the next
five years before having ourthird baby. So Mike, thank you

(01:02:52):
for your question. And it'sdefinitely a commonly asked
question. And one that isdifficult. But I love saying
even in small spaces, we can besuper creative, and you can come
up with some really great ideas.
So some people choose to haveone area for each child. But as
they get older, it can be hardto keep them separated. So I

(01:03:14):
think that if you've got a shelfwith a lower shelf and a highest
shelf, maybe the lowest shelfthat they can both access could
be materials that they both use.
And the materials on the highestshelf might be things for the
older one, you can putactivities with smaller parts
and containers that only the oldone can open, for example, but
you will find that the youngerchildren do want to do what the
older sibling is doing as well.

(01:03:37):
So I often set up an activitythat similar to or away adjusted
in a way that they can takepart, if possible. But you might
also want to think about what isthe rule in your house about you
know, sharing the activities? Isthere opportunity for them to
play together? Or do you shareby taking turns? And what will
that be? I found in my house,mostly we had the rule that they

(01:04:01):
could play with something for aslong as they liked, and then it
would be the next person's turn.
But there were definitely a lotof time when they chose to
actually pay for things togetheras well. There was 16 months
between my children. And theyYeah, worked it out. Sometimes
there were disputes andconflicts, and that makes us
feel uncomfortable. But they'realso having the real life
experience of solving problems.

(01:04:21):
So as much as possible, I'd letthem sort them out themselves. I
also think it's really importantto have an area that they can
each be alone. So you might needto be creative in a small space.
But it might be you know,putting a blanket over the back
of two chairs or something likethat to make a tent. Because
even sometimes the younger childcan feel like the old ones

(01:04:42):
always interfering and takingover their activity. So you
could put up this tent and youcould put up a sign that says
private and then you know ifit's the older one that's going
in, you could point to it saysoh it says private it looks like
they want to be alone now. Solet's do something together.
I think that maybe using smallpieces that they've dining tab
e might be able to give the oldr one, some privacy, the one ye

(01:05:05):
r old will soon be climbing upo get to that space. But as mu
h as possible involving them, thn in the whole experience, Oh,
t looks like you'd also like too this, that's your siblings wor
, you can have your space her. And then you could maybe have
a placemat or something to mak each other's space so that th
y don't feel like their wors being interfered with. And
f there is no room for a shel, you know, you could displ

(01:05:27):
y activities on a coffee tabler in a low drawer. I think t
e downside of a low drawer is tht it can be like out of sight o
t of mind. Like sometimes whenI put everything in a cupboa
d thinking, Oh, you know,y children, and our six that
t really need me to have all te activities out on a shelf,
I found that they were less likey to actually open the cupboa
d and find what they want and ad put something out. So if you

(01:05:48):
o display them in a low cupboad or drawer and make sure th
t everything is still easy to se, I also really love tho
e trolleys that you can get wih three levels that can be mov
d around, that could be realy great for a space that is smal
. So you could use that for at materials. And you could put
t away when you don't wantt available, and then will it o
t when you do want it in yor small space. Also, havi

(01:06:10):
g furniture that could be used fr more than one purpose could
e really useful. So for exampl, in our house, rather than havi
g a low table for each child,e just had one low table that
e could move around. So we usedt for snack time. They used
t when they were workingn activities when they were doi
g some drawing and then we'd pik it up and move it into our ve
y small kitchen when we want too a baking project and the

(01:06:31):
e wasn't enough room for everyoe to be working at the kitch
n height. So that's another wayr actually even having le
s furniture, no table at all, fr example, but using work ma
s that would mark their area.
o in Montessori classrooms,e often roll out the mat and
e even show them we give thema lesson on rolling mats up a
d rolling that out so that thy can you know, mark this are

(01:06:51):
, then take advantage of naptie when the one year old might
e napping, you can have thm special one on one time with t
e older one using smaller pars having more refined activiti
s or activities with more step, maybe a baking project or an a
t and craft project that you migt not want the younger one to
e involved with right now. Te other thing to keep in mind

(01:07:13):
s yes, there is a Montessoi shelf. But there's al
o Montessori in all areas of te home. So you know by the fro
t door, how can we be creativeo have a space for their things
o be put their little coke cane hung up, I'm using the wall
, for example. So if you dont have a space for a basket on t
e floor, how could you maybe hag a basket so that they could p
t some gloves or their shoesr something like that along t

(01:07:35):
e wall. I also in small spacs love using clever storage.
o for example, I've seen soe shelving that's mounted
p nearby the ceiling in the sae color as the walls painted. A
d then you actually hardly see te storage at all and it kee
s things out of the space. Andt also is very easy on the eye
s well. You also might like toe creative and have a raised be

(01:07:57):
, for example, and have storae underneath or in the stairca
e underneath. And instead off you don't have space for
n easel, for example, you migt use chalk paint or a cha
k sticker on the wall or a doo. There's actually a really love
y video of Christina's apartmet here in Amsterdam, and how th
y made a small space work. So I'l link to that in the show not
s as well. So I hope thats helpful make and to anyone el

(01:08:20):
e who's in a similar situatio. And that's it folks today was
s I said the last episodef season two, and I don't know
f or when I'll be back for anothr podcast season. So in t
e meantime, be sure to go bak into the podcast archive. T
e episodes are intentionally log so that we can go deep and
o you will find nuggets in allf them and particularly if you

(01:08:41):
o back and listen again you wil find a new nuggets for sure. A
d you can also join me for onef my online courses by going
o the Montessori notebook calm ad is everything there fr
m Montessori activities ad observation, two workshops
n applying the how to talk so kis will listen approach, how to s
t up your home Montessori styler even how to start a Montesso

(01:09:02):
i playgroup. I'll also be overn Instagram sharing @the
ontessorinotebook. And for the pst 12 years I've been sending o
t a regular newsletter packed wth Montessori inspiration. So I
ll put a link in the show ntes so you can sign up for t
at to another huge thank you tall our lovely guests for i
spiring us again this season. Ihear from so many of you that t

(01:09:23):
ese podcasts have been so hlpful in helping you to bring M
ntessori into your homes and yur classrooms. A big thank you t
Luke for editing the podcast tHiyoko for her beautiful
podcast art and a big thank youto all of you listeners for
sending in your questions andlistening along for sharing with
your friends and family andcontinuing to grow this

(01:09:43):
beautiful Montessori community.
In two seasons, I can't believethat we are already at over a
quarter of a million downloads.
So here's to spreading moreMontessori around the world.
Until next time, bye.
Thanks for joining me At theMontessori notebook podcast. The
podcast was edited by Luke Daviefrom Filmprov Media and

(01:10:05):
odcast art by Hiyoko Imai. To fid out more about me and my
nline courses, visit themontesorinotebook.com, follow m
on Instagram @themontessornotebook, or pick up a copy of
my book The Montessori Toddleror its new prequel The M
ntessori Baby from your local bokstore, Amazon or where book
are sold. They're also availablas ebooks, audiobooks, and hav

(01:10:27):
been translated into over 2languages. I'll be back wit
more Montessori inspiration. Anin the meantime, perhaps you'l
join me in spreading some morpeace and positivity around th
world

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S2 E12 Britt Hawthorne all about raising antiracist children

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