Empathy & Emotional Connection Through Billy Joel's Music

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In this episode, I take a deep, emotional dive into the new Billy Joel documentary, And So It Goes, streaming now on HBO Max. If you're a fan of Billy Joel or just someone who's ever felt abandoned, betrayed, or inspired by someone's resilience, this one will hit home. I share my raw reflections on Billy's life, his musical evolution, and how so much of his story mirrors parts of my own emotional journey. His ability to move through pain and still create such beautiful, heartfelt music is a reminder of the power of art and healing.

I talk about the themes of abandonment and betrayal that shaped his life, his incredible shift from pop legend to classical composer, and the unshakable humility that defines him. And yes, I cried. A lot. But not from sadness—from connection. From that deep, empathic place where you just feel someone's journey so profoundly that it cracks your heart open. This episode is full of heart, music, memory, and more than a few personal confessions.

 

Episode Highlights:

 [0:23] - Introducing the Billy Joel documentary And So It Goes and my lifelong love for his music

[1:10] - Exploring Billy Joel's childhood abandonment issues and how they resonate with my own healing journey

[2:36] - The importance of growth and evolution in his career and how that theme reflects where I am in my life now

[3:45] - Betrayal by his ex-brother-in-law and how financial and emotional betrayal cuts deep

[5:41] - The songs he wrote for his daughter and how they struck a chord in me as a mom

[6:50] - His classical training and my own story of becoming a classically trained pianist as a child

[8:55] - Billy's transition into composing classical music and why he chose not to write lyrics

[10:30] - The emotional power of music without words and the depth of his album Fantasies and Delusions

[11:45] - Reflecting on his humility, enduring legacy, and my own emotional reactions

[13:10] - Embracing empathy and sensitivity as strengths, not weaknesses

 

Links & Resources:

Be sure to follow, share, and leave a comment if this show resonates with you! Send me a message at podpage.com/themusicoflife to share your experiences, or to leave a comment. I'd love to feature it in a future episode.

Episode Transcript

Caryn Portnoy (00:02):
Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life.
I'm your host. Karen Portnoy,before I get into this episode,
please comment, ask questions,share some of your experiences,
and don't forget to subscribe.
YouSo this episode is going to be a

(00:23):
little bit different from whatI've been talking about the last
several episodes. I was watchingthe Billy Joel documentary
tonight entitled and so it goes,which is one of my favorite
songs by him. And there were somany parts of this. It was a two
episode documentary that I waspeeled to. I just, I love him so

(00:46):
much. I've loved his musicsince, you know, since the 70s,
I'm still a major fan. I stilllisten to his music regularly,
and I just adore him, and I justresonated so much with so many
different parts of his careerand his life, and the struggles

(01:06):
and tribulations that he had inhis life, I guess starting out
before he made it in his career.
You know, he he struggled withabandonment issues from his dad
leaving he his dad and hismother eventually got divorced,

(01:27):
and I think Billy was like eightyears old when his father picked
up and moved back to Europe,where he was originally from. We
all know what abandonment woundsfeels like, and that's something
that really kind of stays withus, I think, for the rest of our
lives, unless we can somehowheal from them. I mean, I've

(01:48):
done a lot of healing work, asyou know, but I don't know if
that's something that ever isfully healed. I think I'm in a
good place with it now. But, youknow, watching his story and
listening to his feelings aboutit, and his perceptions of
things, and what he internalizedas a result, you know, it kicks

(02:09):
up my own stuff. So, of course,and then once he made it, and he
was discovering who he was as aas an artist, and once he got
signed to major recordcompanies, and he really had to
kind of figure out what hismusic was going to be as a pop
artist,I was also resonating to the

(02:36):
part where He talked about howimportant it was to grow and
evolve and change and not staycomplacent in your life. And you
know, this is a major theme forme right now in my life. So you
know, I really connected tothat, and I understand what that
must have felt like for him atthat time when he was starting

(02:58):
to get traction in his careerand starting to take off, and
what he really was trying tomake of himself. And I just, I
love hearing his story, and Iwas really touched and moved by
it. Yes, I did cry throughoutthe entire documentary, but

(03:18):
okay, we know I cry, haha. WhatI've learned about my crying is
that, you know, I used to cry. Iused to be very sensitive, and I
would cry over hurt feelings orbeing upset about something, or,
you know, my my crying was for apurpose, but that purpose has
changed exponentially for me,and so now when I cry, it's it's

(03:43):
the empath in me that comes outand I cry now mostly because
something moves me, or Iresonate with somebody's
feelings, or I feel what theyfeel. So after he and his first
wife Elizabeth got divorced, andshe was his manager for all that

(04:06):
time before they got divorced,but then he decided he wanted a
different manager, and he choseher brother to be his manager.
And for anyone who doesn't knowthe story, his ex brother in
law, ended up ripping him off.
And so all these bazillions ofdollars that he made over the

(04:28):
course of his career, it turnedout that the ex brother in law
spent it all so basically, inessence, Billy Joel had to start
over from scratch and make allthat money back. So on top of
having abandonment wounds, nowhe's got betrayal wounds on top
of it, which cuts deep,especially when you trust

(04:50):
somebody. So that kind of youknow, I've had that hit me too,
because I've also felt betrayed,not just by my ex husband, but
ex friend. And people in my lifewho have hurt me deeply and
betrayed me and all of that. SoI certainly understand how that
felt and and resonated withthat. But after Billy Joel and

(05:14):
Christy Brinkley got married andhad their daughter, Alexa, you
know, I always loved the songsthat he wrote for his daughter
mainly lullaby. And I thinklullaby was the only one, or
there might might have beenanother one I forget right now.

(05:41):
But listening to him sing thosesongs, I mean, it just like got
right to my heart. It was justhearing his deep love for his
daughter was just an arrow to myheart. It just reminded me of
the deep love I have for mydaughter. And of course, it sent
me crying. But, you know, in agood way, I guess, and to hear

(06:03):
about his marriages and hisfailures and divorces, and now
he's on his fourth wife, andhe's got two small girls with
her. I was also very intriguedby the time in his life when he
became a composer. And eventhough, you know, he was
classically trained on the pianosince he was four. I mean, like,

(06:24):
seriously, seriously trained. Iwas also a classically trained
pianist, as I think I started ateight and by 10 years old, I was
taking lessons and reallyprogressing very quickly. I I
had a very, a very sharp ear. Iguess you could say that I was

(06:45):
able to pick up on piano by ear.
And I guess, I think I waseight, eight or nine years old,
when I watched my stepmother sitdown and play the piano. And she
would get up and I would sitdown and play the same exact
thing she did without everknowing how to read sheet music
at that point. It was kind ofcool and kind of crazy at the
same time, but it was veryapparent that I had talent at

(07:09):
that point. And so by the time Iwas 10, I started with piano
lessons, and I was selected fordifferent recitals and different
concerts, and my piano teachertook me as far as she could take
me, and then, you know, I sortof graduated, and she wanted to
send me on to the next levelwith another teacher, but I

(07:32):
really I didn't want to go. Iloved her so much, and I just
didn't want to go. But instead,she asked me if I would teach
younger children, you know,basic things like basic scales
and things like that. So she hadmultiple pianos in her home. So
her her studio where I would goto have my lessons, there was

(07:53):
another piano in a differentroom that, you know, the kids
would go into to to take theirlessons. So I did that for a
little bit, and then I quitpiano at that point. But to hear
him want to step away from popmusic and go the classical route
and compose classical music. Imean, I was, I love that, but

(08:16):
the thing that was sointeresting to me was that he
couldn't perform his own music.
He would write and composeoriginal classical music, but he
couldn't perform it himself. Andhe summoned, I forget his name.
I think it's a Korean name. Iforget who he is, but he had

(08:38):
this guy perform his originalclassical music. And I actually
want to download the the album.
I think there are 10 pieces onthis album.

(09:00):
But what I thought was sopoignant was when he was saying
that he didn't want to writelyrics to these pieces because
he wanted the music to speak foritself, like to speak the words
that he didn't want to put toit, which I thought was so
powerful. And so I was listeningto parts of this and getting

(09:20):
emotional about it, because,again, it just kind of hit me
right in my heart, and I lovethat, that that's how he wanted
his songs represented, just bythe music itself, and to know
that the title of that album wascalled fantasies and delusions,
and How those words representedall the songs on that album

(09:43):
equally. So I really appreciatedhis transition to classical
music and stepping away from popmusic for a while. And then to
you know, I know that he's hadthis long standing residence.
Been at Madison Square Gardenfor the last several years, and

(10:04):
it's just so amazing. And I lovehow his songs just stand the
test of time over all theseyears. And I just, I love
following his career, followinghis life, following his journey.
I love all of his humility. Youknow, in every interview and
every anything that he talksabout his his life and his

(10:26):
career, it always comes back to,I'm just a guy from Long Island
and, you know, just the humilityand all of that. I just really
love that part about him, and Ihope I always stay humble too
and grateful. And then, ofcourse, by the end of the
documentary, when he just sat bythe piano and started singing,

(10:49):
and so it goes, that got meagain, too. You know, it's so
funny, because I remember, yearsago, I was at somebody's
funeral. It was my sister's exhusband's grandmother's funeral.
And I didn't know her well. Imet her a couple of times, but I
was listening to the family, youknow, speak about her so

(11:12):
lovingly and all of that. And Istarted crying, because, you
know, I'm moved by these things.
I am very empathetic. And I, youknow, I feel things deeply. And
my sister turned around and sawthat I was crying, and she said,
Boy, they should rent you out atfunerals. So, you know, we kind
of had a giggle about it. Butthe truth is, is that it doesn't

(11:34):
matter whether I know people ornot, if I know people well or
not, I relate to other humanbeings and I feel what they
feel. I I feel their energy. I,you know, I'm sensitive to all
of that. So I've come to acceptthat this is a part of me that I
I love, I honor, I'm proud, thatI feel things that other people

(12:00):
feel also, and I feel that thatconnects us somehow. I used to
think it was a weakness inmyself, but I don't think that
anymore. I think it's a strengthbecause we're so disconnected as
people, and I feel that, youknow, feeling somebody's energy
or feeling someone's feelingsconnects us. And I like that

(12:22):
about myself, because I likefeeling connected to people
anyway. If you haven't watchedthis Billy Joel special, I
really, really implore you towatch it. It's It's amazing on
so many different levels. It'son HBO Max, and it's two
episodes of, I want to say twohours each, something like that.

(12:44):
Anyway, that's about it fortonight. I'll catch you next
time. Please join me everyThursday for a new episode. You
can reach my website at podpage.com/the, music of life,
feel free to leave your emailaddress. You can also leave a
voicemail and share any kinds ofstories or experiences or

(13:07):
anything that you'd like to talkabout. I promise I will keep you
anonymous, but I assure you thatwhatever experiences or stories
you leave for me, you are notalone, and I would love to share
that with other people who arealso going through similar
things. Thanks again forlistening. I'll see you in the
next episode. You.