March 13, 2025 • 26 mins
In this deeply personal episode of The Music of Life, I'm opening up about some profound experiences that have strengthened my faith and connection with God. From unexpected medical turnarounds to moments where divine guidance was undeniable, I'm sharing the ways I’ve seen God’s hand in my life. If you’ve ever questioned whether miracles exist or wondered about the power of faith, this episode is for you.
I'll take you through my journey—from my vision unexpectedly improving to my liver recovering against all odds, and even navigating health scares with a deep sense of trust. This episode is all about recognizing the ways the universe conspires in our favor when we surrender, trust, and stay connected to God.
Episode Highlights:
[00:02] – Introducing the episode and reflecting on the powerful words of Tay Lynch: There’s power with God.
[02:45] – The surprising turn in my vision diagnosis—how I went from needing cataract surgery to perfect eyesight.
[06:12] – My intense fertility journey—10 rounds of IVF, miscarriages, and the unexpected liver complications that followed.
[12:30] – The shocking liver biopsy results and how I found the right doctor who truly cared.
[17:10] – Against all odds: My liver’s recovery from stage four cirrhosis to stage one, proving that faith and divine intervention are real.
[20:40] – Navigating ongoing female health concerns and how prayer has given me peace through it all.
[24:55] – The role of faith in every part of my life—health, relationships, and decision-making.
Links & Resources:
Be sure to follow, share, and leave a comment if this show resonates with you! Send me a message at podpage.com/themusicoflife to share your experiences, or to leave a comment. I'd love to feature it in a future episode.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caryn Portnoy (00:02):
Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life.
I'm your host. Karen Portnoy,before I get into this episode,
please comment, ask questions,share some of your experiences,
and don't forget to subscribe.
You I wanted to start off thisepisode by first reading
(00:30):
something that I found online.
It's called power with God, andit's by Tay Lynch. This spoke to
me so deeply, and this wasexactly my story. So as I start
talking about my healing journeyand my connection to God and the
universe, I thought this was sopowerful to to talk about. Here
(00:52):
goes. Do you guys realizesomething? Do you guys realize
that an entire community came upagainst you in one of the
weakest, most vulnerable timesof your entire life, and they
made sure that you werecompletely broke, completely
isolated, completely humiliated,they made sure that you had
(01:16):
absolutely nobody in yourcorner. They made sure that you
had absolutely no way to get outof this, that nobody supported
you, that you felt nothing buthatred from every single person
around you, just you at theweakest, most vulnerable stage
of your life, and yet they stillcouldn't take you these weak ass
(01:37):
motherfuckers thought there waspower in numbers, but No, baby,
there's power with God.
That was so powerful when I readthat and wow, it was so true. It
(02:00):
really, it got to my core. Iwanted to talk about a few
examples where it was veryapparent to me that God was in
play here, that there were nocoincidences here, and it showed
up in my health, of all things.
So the first example I want totalk about is my vision. A
couple of years ago, my eyedoctor had told me that I would
(02:23):
likely need cataract surgery. Ithought she meant in both eyes,
but it turns out it was reallyone over the other. And I had
always had 2020, Vision past age50. You know, I wore very weak
reader glasses. But other thanthat, I had no other issues. And
(02:45):
I believe it was last year orthe year before she told me that
I would need cataract surgery,because think it was like 2070
in my left eye and 2020 in myright eye. And I was clearly
concerned about that, but Ireally didn't want to have
cataract surgery. I'm I'm almost56, years old, and I thought
(03:06):
that was kind of young for thatkind of procedure. But, you
know, in my regular prayers, Ialways include in there about,
you know, having perfect healthand no issues. And sometimes I
focus on specific areas of mybody that I just want to make
double sure that God knows thatI'm I'm asking for perfect
(03:28):
health in certain areas. So myeyes were one of those things.
And my last eye doctor visit,which was several months ago, my
eye doctor told me that I didn'tneed cataract surgery now. And I
was very surprised, and askedher what changed. And she said,
Well, we only go by what thenumber is with readers on or
(03:52):
with corrective lenses on. Sothe 2070 was without glasses and
with glasses, it was 2040 andthat wasn't severe enough to
require cataract surgery. So Iwas elated, of course, and so
relieved. And I was kind oflike, huh, so that was the first
(04:16):
thing i Okay.
The second thing was, and thisis going to be a little bit
longer, because it was a veryextensive issue, but way back
when my daughter is 15 now, andwhen my husband and I were
(04:38):
trying to have a baby, it tookus six years and massive
fertility treatments to haveher. We ended with 10 rounds of
IVF. And, you know, along theway, I had, I think I did four
or five IUI cycles, which is theturkey baster thing, and with
that, I had an ectopic Press.
Pregnancy, I had four or fivemiscarriages. I had endless
(05:02):
tests and procedures along theway. It was just a lot, a lot
and and the stress andeverything. So at some point, I
think it was four years into thesix years of the whole
experience where we had done abunch of IVF cycles, and my my
husband had asked my fertilitydoctor, okay, what are you going
(05:26):
to do differently this time? Youknow, it was kind of like He did
everything that he knew to do.
And we, we really triedeverything, even within the IVF,
it was just different ways ofculturing the embryos and
figuring different ways ofhaving success. And sometimes we
(05:47):
were successful, sometimes weweren't. It was just, it was a
lot.
So basically, my fertilitydoctor said that there really
wasn't anything new for him totry, and he would go and consult
with the research and see whatelse he could do. And my husband
(06:10):
said, Well, screw that, youknow, let's go to the doctor
who's doing the research. So weended up leaving the fertility
place that we started at, and wewent to Cornell in New York
City, and went to the veryfamous fertility doctor who did
all the research. And my firstvisit with him, I was told,
(06:31):
don't speak until spoken to. Andthat was a three hour visit of
him just transcribing my oldfile and chart into his own
handwriting and notes and all ofthat. And after three hours, he
examined me and basically said,I think I can do it. So at some
point early on, once we werewith him, I ran into some liver
(06:55):
issues, and my sedimentationrate was elevated, which is an
indicator of inflammation in thebody, and they weren't able to
start another IVF cycle until wegot to the bottom of that, it
turned out that my liver numberswere highly elevated, and so now
(07:17):
I had to go down the rabbit holeof figuring out what was causing
my liver issues? Turned out thatmy internist had put me on a
blood pressure medicine at thestart of all the fertility
stuff, all the stress waselevating my blood pressure, and
he put me on a an old bloodpressure medicine that was
(07:38):
textbook to be safe withpregnancy, and somewhere along
the line, my liver enzymestarted to climb rapidly. And so
now I was on this wild goosechase, going from GI doctor to
GI doctor, trying to figure outwhat was going on. I ended up
with the chief of hepatology ata local hospital near me, and
(08:05):
within seconds, he looked at mychart, and he identified that
the blood pressure medicine thatmy internist had me on was the
cause of my liver numbers goingup so high. And he said it's
textbook to trigger autoimmunehepatitis, which is when your
immune system attacks yourliver. So now I went back to the
(08:30):
fertility doctor and told himwhat was discovered, and he said
to me that he wanted me to go tohis personal GI doctor who was
also at Cornell at the time, andhe really wanted that doctor to
do a whole workup and be onboard, so that once we started
(08:52):
another IVF cycle, if I ran intosome kind of problems or
challenges that neededintervention, this doctor would
be able to jump in at a moment'snotice and and do what needed to
be done. So we started with thisGI doctor, and out of the gate
he he asked me to put together adrug diary of every drug I've
(09:17):
ever taken for as far back as Ican go who prescribed it, what
the dates were, what the dosageswere, what the medications were.
I mean, it was like, Who hasthat information I do. So I set
up this incredible Exceldocument, and I called CVS, and
(09:38):
I had all the receipts, and Ihad everything going back years
and years, and I was able to putthis drug diary together. And I
think that solidified myrelationship with this doctor
from from the get go, he wasvery impressed, but, you know,
it was very important for him tobe able to see the. What my
(10:00):
history was. So he prescribedsome additional blood work. He
wanted to see what my immunitywas like and things like that,
and and we were definitely offto a great start. We were
partners in my care. You know, Idid anything that he asked me to
do and keep track of orwhatever. We followed my my
(10:20):
blood work numbers very closelyto make sure that my numbers
were coming down. And it waskind of scary at one point
because they were very high. Andhe said, Look, if they go any
higher, I'm going to have to putyou on prednisone. And I really
don't want to do that if you'retrying to get pregnant.
(10:42):
You so I got very lucky in thatthis doctor was not rushing to
put me on prednisone, and wewaited it out until my number
started to come down, and thenonce it was in a safe area for
us to start another IVF cycle.
Then we started, and thank God Ididn't have to go on prednisone
(11:04):
at all, even at the worst. Andthe height of my numbers,
however, I did have to go for, Ithink it was three or four liver
biopsies over time, which waslike horrendous. I don't know if
anybody out there has ever had aliver biopsy, but I don't wish
it on my worst enemy, the firstone that I had, I you know, they
(11:24):
did it under guided sonograms.
So I'm watching the screen, andit looked like olive loaf, you
know, the deli meat. And I justcouldn't believe that that's
what my liver looked like butthere were so many lesions and
so many I didn't even know whatI was looking at, but it just it
(11:47):
didn't look good at all. And sowhen you have a liver biopsy, I
think there are four needles.
The first three are anesthetic,and they go, each one goes a
little bit deeper to numb thearea, and then the fourth needle
goes all the way into yourliver, and it sounds like a
stapler, and they had to takesamples of the lesions that they
(12:10):
saw and biopsy them. So it was areally horrific experience. I
was never good with needles. Imean, the fact that I did 10
rounds of IVF, ultimately, wasjust mind blowing to me. I never
did one shot myself. My husbanddid most of them. I had friends
(12:30):
do some. I had family do some,and in strange and funny places,
but I never did one shot out of10 rounds anyway, so my liver
biopsies came back with stagefour cirrhosis, which meant that
there were so much scarring onmy liver from this blood
(12:51):
pressure medicine that you knowit was, it was bad enough that I
could have needed a livertransplant. And thankfully, I
didn't, but that's how badlyscarred it was. And at that
point, this is where I trulyfell in love with my liver
doctor, because I remember afterthat liver biopsy, and I was
(13:13):
waiting for the results, and hetexted me from his Blackberry.
That's how long ago. This was ona Saturday from Germany. In
great detail. He explainedeverything, the results, what it
meant, what the implicationswere. I mean, he explained
(13:33):
everything to me from everywhich way, and I was crying at
the end, not because of what hewas saying, but because he
completely restored my faith indoctors. After that, I just the
amount of attention and thoughtand care and I just I was blown
away by what rate doctor thiswas, and I hadn't experienced
(13:57):
that in so many years anyway. Sothis doctor had said to me, even
though I followed up with otherliver biopsies along the way, to
make sure that things werecalming down and resolving
somewhat, you know, and to makesure that it was safe to
continue with IVF, but at somepoint, he said to me that I'll
(14:18):
never be stage one again. Therewas too much scarring on my
liver, and I would likely bestage three. But in the best
case scenario, maybe I would bestage two, and that was the best
I'd be able to hope for. Andthis is a world renowned liver
doctor. He actually ended upfinding the cure for, I think,
(14:40):
hepatitis C. Very brilliantdoctor, very accomplished. I
mean, I was with the best of thebest, so I trusted everything he
said. So knowing that I couldnever expect stage one again.
You know, I was relieved when Iwas stage three. I was thrilled
when. I would be stage two, butsometimes I would vacillate
(15:01):
between stage two and stagethree, but I knew I would never
be one, and I likely, hopefully,would never be stage four again.
So somewhere between two andthree was where I resigned
myself to be. Very. Long storyshort, I went to see this doctor
for a checkup several monthsago, and I got the news of a
(15:22):
lifetime. Apparently I am nowofficially in stage one. And you
know, I had prayed ahead oftime. I had had a long talk with
God about it and and how nervousI was. And you know that I just,
I kept praying for a goodreport, and I got it, and it
(15:44):
was, I cried in the office, forsure, this has been my
daughter's 15. So, you know,this has been going on for 1617,
years, and to get this news wasjust that, it's just, there's no
way this could have happenedwithout God's intervention. And
(16:12):
then the last example I want toshare, I've been having issues
with my female reproductivesister. You know, I've had
surgery to remove eight uterinefibroids before we started IVF.
I know that fibroids tend togrow back, but for the sake of
(16:33):
doing IVF, I had the surgery,and I have them all removed, not
because it would interfere withIVF, but I think just the space
they took up in my uterus weneeded to remove it, it kind of
decreased the chances from 45%success rate to like 20% so I
(16:54):
mean, it was kind of like a nobrainer that I would have the
surgery and have it removed andincrease my chances the best
that I could. I was also proneto ovarian cysts. So I was
always watching fibroids comingback and ovarian cysts. And you
know, at one point I thought Imight have to have surgery to
(17:15):
take out my ovaries. But, youknow, I was not rushing to do
that. And lo and behold, thecysts would dissolve on their
own, and then they would comeback again. And then, you know,
like that was just the cycle ofwhat they did. So I was always
going for sonograms to measurethem when they came back and
(17:35):
make sure they didn't get toobig. And you know, it was always
something to watch and monitor.
But I, you know, ever sincestarting that, I it's always
been fine, and I didn't go forsurgery and I didn't need to,
and it's always been okay, Iwould say, in the last couple of
years though, my OB, GYN, foundthat the uterine lining was
getting a little bit thicker,and he took a couple of biopsies
(17:58):
of that, just to make sure thatit wasn't anything to worry
about. Those aren't fun, either,in case anyone's wondering, very
painful. But as it turned out,all of those biopsies came back
fine anyway. So you know it wasall good. My last exam, though,
I alerted my OB GYN that I, youknow, I'm almost 56 and I feel
(18:23):
like I'm having PMS symptoms. SoI alerted him to that, and he
sent me immediately for anotherultrasound, and wanted to
measure the thickness of myuterine lining to make sure that
it wasn't, you know, precancerous, or anything like
that. And again, you know, Iprayed to God and and had
(18:46):
another conversation about thisand and praying that everything
would be okay, and all of that.
And I read that that the doctorsdon't get nervous until the
uterine lining is about 1010,centimeters thick, centimeters
(19:07):
or millimeters, I forget, butanyway, so this time it was only
three, and so there was nothingto worry about. He told me that
it's normal that I wouldexperience PMS symptoms at my
age, but it's not very common.
So that's just to say that hehas some patients who experience
that, and it's normal. There'snothing wrong with it. It's just
(19:30):
not very common. So I acceptedthat, and that was fine, you
know. So my whole long windedexplanation of all of these
things are really just to saythat there is no way that there
was a coincidence in my mindthat between my not needing
cataract surgery my liver statusgoing from stage four through to
(19:54):
stage one and then. And myuterine lining being normal and
okay and not anything to worryabout. There was no coincidence
there for me. I mean, for me, itwas, it was proven to me. It was
just beyond a shadow of a doubtthat God was involved in this.
And I'm so grateful. I've alwaysbeen grateful. I've always been
(20:18):
humbled. I've just I just feellike he's looking out for me and
and my connection to him is sostrong and so loyal that I truly
believe that when you seek Godand when you have a relationship
and a direct connection to him,these are some of the blessings
(20:38):
that you get from that. And myfaith is so strong, my trust in
Him is so strong, and I don'ttake it for granted, not one
bit. But I just wanted to shareit's not just, you know, it's
not just after going through ahorrific divorce and and needing
help and guidance, and, youknow, saving it's more than just
(20:59):
that. It's your whole life, it'srelationships, it's health, it's
it's success and and abundancein your career and friendships
and family and in every aspectof your life. I mean, I don't do
anything without consulting withGod first, and these types of
(21:20):
experiences have led me to thisrelationship with him. I even
remember when I got the COVIDshot and I was vehemently
against taking it. I was andthis is such a long story, which
I've discussed in a previousepisode, I did not want to take
(21:40):
the shot, and I did not want togive it to my daughter, but due
to legal issues in my divorce, Iwas forced to. But I remember
when I was getting the shot forboth doses of it, and as it was
going into my arm, and I feltthe liquid, you know, going into
my body. I felt it travelingsort of like behind my shoulder
(22:01):
and up towards my neck, and itwas a weird, uncomfortable,
freaky kind of feeling, and Iwas terrified that there would
be some kind of brainimplication or something. I
just, I didn't want it in mybody, but now that I had to take
(22:25):
it, it was just I was terrifiedthat there would be some major
reaction from it. And for bothdoses, before I went to go get
them, I spent, I don't know, ahalf hour, 45 minutes, praying
to God and really talking aboutmy fear about this and how I
surrendered all of it to him,and I laid all of my burdens
(22:49):
about it to him, and I just letit go. So after each dose of
feeling this sensation. Iwaited, I waited patiently to
see if I would have any, like,real reactions, you know, in the
short term and the long term.
(23:13):
And I had none. I mean, that's,that's gotta, you know, count
for something. I just it was notan accident. It was not a
coincidence. And I was convincedevery time that he intervened on
my behalf, there's somethingabout accepting God into your
heart, into your life, into yoursoul and and just connecting on
(23:39):
an intimate, intimate level, andI just keep seeing the fruits of
that relationship evolving. Iknow I've said in previous
episodes I've spent two and ahalf years well now it's
probably closer to three yearsin all this time that I embarked
on a very intense spiritualhealing journey since my divorce
(24:01):
started, and it's all connected.
It's all related. And, you know,I've cut out so many toxic
people out of my life, and I'vespent so much time in solitude,
really just focusing on healingand self love and self care and
rediscovering myself and doingall of my inner work and and
(24:21):
connecting with my inner childand healing traumas and wounds
and childhood and all thisstuff. I mean, it's been so
intense and so needed. And who Iam now is just I'm at the
precipice of of somethingamazing coming, and I owe it all
to him, whatever it is and and Iwill receive and accept and
(24:45):
embrace everything he's gotcoming to me because he saw how
loyal and faithful I was to him,and I go to him before I make
any decisions. And it justworked. Works. It just works.
And I don't fear anythinganymore. It's just life has
become free and easy and happyand peaceful, and I just I don't
(25:12):
fret if there's something that Ifeel I'm getting nervous about
or anxious about, or fearfulabout, I immediately turn it
over to him. I surrender it all,and it always works out somehow,
some way, he makes a way for me,and I'm so grateful.
(25:40):
So anyway, I wanted to share allthis with you guys and just let
you know that you know God isthere for everyone. We just have
to seek him. Thanks again forlistening. I'll see you in the
next episode. Please join meevery Thursday for a new
episode. You can reach mywebsite@podpage.com slash the
(26:05):
music of life. Feel free toleave your email address. You
can also leave a voicemail andshare any kinds of stories or
experiences or anything thatyou'd like to talk about. I
promise I will keep youanonymous, but I assure you that
whatever experiences or storiesyou leave for me, you are not
alone, and I would love to sharethat with other people who are
(26:27):
also going through similarthings. Thanks again for
listening. I'll see you in thenext episode. You
Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life.
I'm your host. Karen Portnoy,before I get into this episode,
please comment, ask questions,share some of your experiences,
and don't forget to subscribe.
You I wanted to start off thisepisode by first reading
(00:30):
something that I found online.
It's called power with God, andit's by Tay Lynch. This spoke to
me so deeply, and this wasexactly my story. So as I start
talking about my healing journeyand my connection to God and the
universe, I thought this was sopowerful to to talk about. Here
(00:52):
goes. Do you guys realizesomething? Do you guys realize
that an entire community came upagainst you in one of the
weakest, most vulnerable timesof your entire life, and they
made sure that you werecompletely broke, completely
isolated, completely humiliated,they made sure that you had
(01:16):
absolutely nobody in yourcorner. They made sure that you
had absolutely no way to get outof this, that nobody supported
you, that you felt nothing buthatred from every single person
around you, just you at theweakest, most vulnerable stage
of your life, and yet they stillcouldn't take you these weak ass
(01:37):
motherfuckers thought there waspower in numbers, but No, baby,
there's power with God.
That was so powerful when I readthat and wow, it was so true. It
(02:00):
really, it got to my core. Iwanted to talk about a few
examples where it was veryapparent to me that God was in
play here, that there were nocoincidences here, and it showed
up in my health, of all things.
So the first example I want totalk about is my vision. A
couple of years ago, my eyedoctor had told me that I would
(02:23):
likely need cataract surgery. Ithought she meant in both eyes,
but it turns out it was reallyone over the other. And I had
always had 2020, Vision past age50. You know, I wore very weak
reader glasses. But other thanthat, I had no other issues. And
(02:45):
I believe it was last year orthe year before she told me that
I would need cataract surgery,because think it was like 2070
in my left eye and 2020 in myright eye. And I was clearly
concerned about that, but Ireally didn't want to have
cataract surgery. I'm I'm almost56, years old, and I thought
(03:06):
that was kind of young for thatkind of procedure. But, you
know, in my regular prayers, Ialways include in there about,
you know, having perfect healthand no issues. And sometimes I
focus on specific areas of mybody that I just want to make
double sure that God knows thatI'm I'm asking for perfect
(03:28):
health in certain areas. So myeyes were one of those things.
And my last eye doctor visit,which was several months ago, my
eye doctor told me that I didn'tneed cataract surgery now. And I
was very surprised, and askedher what changed. And she said,
Well, we only go by what thenumber is with readers on or
(03:52):
with corrective lenses on. Sothe 2070 was without glasses and
with glasses, it was 2040 andthat wasn't severe enough to
require cataract surgery. So Iwas elated, of course, and so
relieved. And I was kind oflike, huh, so that was the first
(04:16):
thing i Okay.
The second thing was, and thisis going to be a little bit
longer, because it was a veryextensive issue, but way back
when my daughter is 15 now, andwhen my husband and I were
(04:38):
trying to have a baby, it tookus six years and massive
fertility treatments to haveher. We ended with 10 rounds of
IVF. And, you know, along theway, I had, I think I did four
or five IUI cycles, which is theturkey baster thing, and with
that, I had an ectopic Press.
Pregnancy, I had four or fivemiscarriages. I had endless
(05:02):
tests and procedures along theway. It was just a lot, a lot
and and the stress andeverything. So at some point, I
think it was four years into thesix years of the whole
experience where we had done abunch of IVF cycles, and my my
husband had asked my fertilitydoctor, okay, what are you going
(05:26):
to do differently this time? Youknow, it was kind of like He did
everything that he knew to do.
And we, we really triedeverything, even within the IVF,
it was just different ways ofculturing the embryos and
figuring different ways ofhaving success. And sometimes we
(05:47):
were successful, sometimes weweren't. It was just, it was a
lot.
So basically, my fertilitydoctor said that there really
wasn't anything new for him totry, and he would go and consult
with the research and see whatelse he could do. And my husband
(06:10):
said, Well, screw that, youknow, let's go to the doctor
who's doing the research. So weended up leaving the fertility
place that we started at, and wewent to Cornell in New York
City, and went to the veryfamous fertility doctor who did
all the research. And my firstvisit with him, I was told,
(06:31):
don't speak until spoken to. Andthat was a three hour visit of
him just transcribing my oldfile and chart into his own
handwriting and notes and all ofthat. And after three hours, he
examined me and basically said,I think I can do it. So at some
point early on, once we werewith him, I ran into some liver
(06:55):
issues, and my sedimentationrate was elevated, which is an
indicator of inflammation in thebody, and they weren't able to
start another IVF cycle until wegot to the bottom of that, it
turned out that my liver numberswere highly elevated, and so now
(07:17):
I had to go down the rabbit holeof figuring out what was causing
my liver issues? Turned out thatmy internist had put me on a
blood pressure medicine at thestart of all the fertility
stuff, all the stress waselevating my blood pressure, and
he put me on a an old bloodpressure medicine that was
(07:38):
textbook to be safe withpregnancy, and somewhere along
the line, my liver enzymestarted to climb rapidly. And so
now I was on this wild goosechase, going from GI doctor to
GI doctor, trying to figure outwhat was going on. I ended up
with the chief of hepatology ata local hospital near me, and
(08:05):
within seconds, he looked at mychart, and he identified that
the blood pressure medicine thatmy internist had me on was the
cause of my liver numbers goingup so high. And he said it's
textbook to trigger autoimmunehepatitis, which is when your
immune system attacks yourliver. So now I went back to the
(08:30):
fertility doctor and told himwhat was discovered, and he said
to me that he wanted me to go tohis personal GI doctor who was
also at Cornell at the time, andhe really wanted that doctor to
do a whole workup and be onboard, so that once we started
(08:52):
another IVF cycle, if I ran intosome kind of problems or
challenges that neededintervention, this doctor would
be able to jump in at a moment'snotice and and do what needed to
be done. So we started with thisGI doctor, and out of the gate
he he asked me to put together adrug diary of every drug I've
(09:17):
ever taken for as far back as Ican go who prescribed it, what
the dates were, what the dosageswere, what the medications were.
I mean, it was like, Who hasthat information I do. So I set
up this incredible Exceldocument, and I called CVS, and
(09:38):
I had all the receipts, and Ihad everything going back years
and years, and I was able to putthis drug diary together. And I
think that solidified myrelationship with this doctor
from from the get go, he wasvery impressed, but, you know,
it was very important for him tobe able to see the. What my
(10:00):
history was. So he prescribedsome additional blood work. He
wanted to see what my immunitywas like and things like that,
and and we were definitely offto a great start. We were
partners in my care. You know, Idid anything that he asked me to
do and keep track of orwhatever. We followed my my
(10:20):
blood work numbers very closelyto make sure that my numbers
were coming down. And it waskind of scary at one point
because they were very high. Andhe said, Look, if they go any
higher, I'm going to have to putyou on prednisone. And I really
don't want to do that if you'retrying to get pregnant.
(10:42):
You so I got very lucky in thatthis doctor was not rushing to
put me on prednisone, and wewaited it out until my number
started to come down, and thenonce it was in a safe area for
us to start another IVF cycle.
Then we started, and thank God Ididn't have to go on prednisone
(11:04):
at all, even at the worst. Andthe height of my numbers,
however, I did have to go for, Ithink it was three or four liver
biopsies over time, which waslike horrendous. I don't know if
anybody out there has ever had aliver biopsy, but I don't wish
it on my worst enemy, the firstone that I had, I you know, they
(11:24):
did it under guided sonograms.
So I'm watching the screen, andit looked like olive loaf, you
know, the deli meat. And I justcouldn't believe that that's
what my liver looked like butthere were so many lesions and
so many I didn't even know whatI was looking at, but it just it
(11:47):
didn't look good at all. And sowhen you have a liver biopsy, I
think there are four needles.
The first three are anesthetic,and they go, each one goes a
little bit deeper to numb thearea, and then the fourth needle
goes all the way into yourliver, and it sounds like a
stapler, and they had to takesamples of the lesions that they
(12:10):
saw and biopsy them. So it was areally horrific experience. I
was never good with needles. Imean, the fact that I did 10
rounds of IVF, ultimately, wasjust mind blowing to me. I never
did one shot myself. My husbanddid most of them. I had friends
(12:30):
do some. I had family do some,and in strange and funny places,
but I never did one shot out of10 rounds anyway, so my liver
biopsies came back with stagefour cirrhosis, which meant that
there were so much scarring onmy liver from this blood
(12:51):
pressure medicine that you knowit was, it was bad enough that I
could have needed a livertransplant. And thankfully, I
didn't, but that's how badlyscarred it was. And at that
point, this is where I trulyfell in love with my liver
doctor, because I remember afterthat liver biopsy, and I was
(13:13):
waiting for the results, and hetexted me from his Blackberry.
That's how long ago. This was ona Saturday from Germany. In
great detail. He explainedeverything, the results, what it
meant, what the implicationswere. I mean, he explained
(13:33):
everything to me from everywhich way, and I was crying at
the end, not because of what hewas saying, but because he
completely restored my faith indoctors. After that, I just the
amount of attention and thoughtand care and I just I was blown
away by what rate doctor thiswas, and I hadn't experienced
(13:57):
that in so many years anyway. Sothis doctor had said to me, even
though I followed up with otherliver biopsies along the way, to
make sure that things werecalming down and resolving
somewhat, you know, and to makesure that it was safe to
continue with IVF, but at somepoint, he said to me that I'll
(14:18):
never be stage one again. Therewas too much scarring on my
liver, and I would likely bestage three. But in the best
case scenario, maybe I would bestage two, and that was the best
I'd be able to hope for. Andthis is a world renowned liver
doctor. He actually ended upfinding the cure for, I think,
(14:40):
hepatitis C. Very brilliantdoctor, very accomplished. I
mean, I was with the best of thebest, so I trusted everything he
said. So knowing that I couldnever expect stage one again.
You know, I was relieved when Iwas stage three. I was thrilled
when. I would be stage two, butsometimes I would vacillate
(15:01):
between stage two and stagethree, but I knew I would never
be one, and I likely, hopefully,would never be stage four again.
So somewhere between two andthree was where I resigned
myself to be. Very. Long storyshort, I went to see this doctor
for a checkup several monthsago, and I got the news of a
(15:22):
lifetime. Apparently I am nowofficially in stage one. And you
know, I had prayed ahead oftime. I had had a long talk with
God about it and and how nervousI was. And you know that I just,
I kept praying for a goodreport, and I got it, and it
(15:44):
was, I cried in the office, forsure, this has been my
daughter's 15. So, you know,this has been going on for 1617,
years, and to get this news wasjust that, it's just, there's no
way this could have happenedwithout God's intervention. And
(16:12):
then the last example I want toshare, I've been having issues
with my female reproductivesister. You know, I've had
surgery to remove eight uterinefibroids before we started IVF.
I know that fibroids tend togrow back, but for the sake of
(16:33):
doing IVF, I had the surgery,and I have them all removed, not
because it would interfere withIVF, but I think just the space
they took up in my uterus weneeded to remove it, it kind of
decreased the chances from 45%success rate to like 20% so I
(16:54):
mean, it was kind of like a nobrainer that I would have the
surgery and have it removed andincrease my chances the best
that I could. I was also proneto ovarian cysts. So I was
always watching fibroids comingback and ovarian cysts. And you
know, at one point I thought Imight have to have surgery to
(17:15):
take out my ovaries. But, youknow, I was not rushing to do
that. And lo and behold, thecysts would dissolve on their
own, and then they would comeback again. And then, you know,
like that was just the cycle ofwhat they did. So I was always
going for sonograms to measurethem when they came back and
(17:35):
make sure they didn't get toobig. And you know, it was always
something to watch and monitor.
But I, you know, ever sincestarting that, I it's always
been fine, and I didn't go forsurgery and I didn't need to,
and it's always been okay, Iwould say, in the last couple of
years though, my OB, GYN, foundthat the uterine lining was
getting a little bit thicker,and he took a couple of biopsies
(17:58):
of that, just to make sure thatit wasn't anything to worry
about. Those aren't fun, either,in case anyone's wondering, very
painful. But as it turned out,all of those biopsies came back
fine anyway. So you know it wasall good. My last exam, though,
I alerted my OB GYN that I, youknow, I'm almost 56 and I feel
(18:23):
like I'm having PMS symptoms. SoI alerted him to that, and he
sent me immediately for anotherultrasound, and wanted to
measure the thickness of myuterine lining to make sure that
it wasn't, you know, precancerous, or anything like
that. And again, you know, Iprayed to God and and had
(18:46):
another conversation about thisand and praying that everything
would be okay, and all of that.
And I read that that the doctorsdon't get nervous until the
uterine lining is about 1010,centimeters thick, centimeters
(19:07):
or millimeters, I forget, butanyway, so this time it was only
three, and so there was nothingto worry about. He told me that
it's normal that I wouldexperience PMS symptoms at my
age, but it's not very common.
So that's just to say that hehas some patients who experience
that, and it's normal. There'snothing wrong with it. It's just
(19:30):
not very common. So I acceptedthat, and that was fine, you
know. So my whole long windedexplanation of all of these
things are really just to saythat there is no way that there
was a coincidence in my mindthat between my not needing
cataract surgery my liver statusgoing from stage four through to
(19:54):
stage one and then. And myuterine lining being normal and
okay and not anything to worryabout. There was no coincidence
there for me. I mean, for me, itwas, it was proven to me. It was
just beyond a shadow of a doubtthat God was involved in this.
And I'm so grateful. I've alwaysbeen grateful. I've always been
(20:18):
humbled. I've just I just feellike he's looking out for me and
and my connection to him is sostrong and so loyal that I truly
believe that when you seek Godand when you have a relationship
and a direct connection to him,these are some of the blessings
(20:38):
that you get from that. And myfaith is so strong, my trust in
Him is so strong, and I don'ttake it for granted, not one
bit. But I just wanted to shareit's not just, you know, it's
not just after going through ahorrific divorce and and needing
help and guidance, and, youknow, saving it's more than just
(20:59):
that. It's your whole life, it'srelationships, it's health, it's
it's success and and abundancein your career and friendships
and family and in every aspectof your life. I mean, I don't do
anything without consulting withGod first, and these types of
(21:20):
experiences have led me to thisrelationship with him. I even
remember when I got the COVIDshot and I was vehemently
against taking it. I was andthis is such a long story, which
I've discussed in a previousepisode, I did not want to take
(21:40):
the shot, and I did not want togive it to my daughter, but due
to legal issues in my divorce, Iwas forced to. But I remember
when I was getting the shot forboth doses of it, and as it was
going into my arm, and I feltthe liquid, you know, going into
my body. I felt it travelingsort of like behind my shoulder
(22:01):
and up towards my neck, and itwas a weird, uncomfortable,
freaky kind of feeling, and Iwas terrified that there would
be some kind of brainimplication or something. I
just, I didn't want it in mybody, but now that I had to take
(22:25):
it, it was just I was terrifiedthat there would be some major
reaction from it. And for bothdoses, before I went to go get
them, I spent, I don't know, ahalf hour, 45 minutes, praying
to God and really talking aboutmy fear about this and how I
surrendered all of it to him,and I laid all of my burdens
(22:49):
about it to him, and I just letit go. So after each dose of
feeling this sensation. Iwaited, I waited patiently to
see if I would have any, like,real reactions, you know, in the
short term and the long term.
(23:13):
And I had none. I mean, that's,that's gotta, you know, count
for something. I just it was notan accident. It was not a
coincidence. And I was convincedevery time that he intervened on
my behalf, there's somethingabout accepting God into your
heart, into your life, into yoursoul and and just connecting on
(23:39):
an intimate, intimate level, andI just keep seeing the fruits of
that relationship evolving. Iknow I've said in previous
episodes I've spent two and ahalf years well now it's
probably closer to three yearsin all this time that I embarked
on a very intense spiritualhealing journey since my divorce
(24:01):
started, and it's all connected.
It's all related. And, you know,I've cut out so many toxic
people out of my life, and I'vespent so much time in solitude,
really just focusing on healingand self love and self care and
rediscovering myself and doingall of my inner work and and
(24:21):
connecting with my inner childand healing traumas and wounds
and childhood and all thisstuff. I mean, it's been so
intense and so needed. And who Iam now is just I'm at the
precipice of of somethingamazing coming, and I owe it all
to him, whatever it is and and Iwill receive and accept and
(24:45):
embrace everything he's gotcoming to me because he saw how
loyal and faithful I was to him,and I go to him before I make
any decisions. And it justworked. Works. It just works.
And I don't fear anythinganymore. It's just life has
become free and easy and happyand peaceful, and I just I don't
(25:12):
fret if there's something that Ifeel I'm getting nervous about
or anxious about, or fearfulabout, I immediately turn it
over to him. I surrender it all,and it always works out somehow,
some way, he makes a way for me,and I'm so grateful.
(25:40):
So anyway, I wanted to share allthis with you guys and just let
you know that you know God isthere for everyone. We just have
to seek him. Thanks again forlistening. I'll see you in the
next episode. Please join meevery Thursday for a new
episode. You can reach mywebsite@podpage.com slash the
(26:05):
music of life. Feel free toleave your email address. You
can also leave a voicemail andshare any kinds of stories or
experiences or anything thatyou'd like to talk about. I
promise I will keep youanonymous, but I assure you that
whatever experiences or storiesyou leave for me, you are not
alone, and I would love to sharethat with other people who are
(26:27):
also going through similarthings. Thanks again for
listening. I'll see you in thenext episode. You
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