February 27, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode of The Music of Life, I’m flipping the script! Instead of hosting, I had the incredible opportunity to be a guest on Side Quest Success Stories with host Stephen Duetzmann. I share why I started this podcast, my personal journey through a toxic divorce, and the intense spiritual healing that followed. I share how this podcast became a platform for healing—not just for me, but for others navigating similar experiences. Stephen and I also talk about the power of storytelling through podcasting, the importance of community, and what’s next for The Music of Life as I move beyond my divorce and into a new chapter of growth and transformation.
Episode Highlights:
[01:03] – How I met Stephen Duetzmann at Podfest 2025 and what led to this guest appearance.
[01:24] – The story behind The Music of Life and why I felt called to start this podcast.
[03:57] – The power of podcasting in building connections and helping others feel less alone.
[05:36] – Moving beyond my divorce: What’s next for the podcast and upcoming topics.
[10:04] – A shoutout to my producer Marc Ronick and how his support shaped this journey.
[14:47] – The original concept of The Music of Life: Music’s influence on love & relationships.
[16:29] – My long-term vision: A book, retreats, coaching, and building a strong community.
[23:36] – How I’m growing my audience through podcasting, social media, and email lists.
[25:06] – Reaching international listeners & the universal language of music and healing.
Links & Resources:
- Marc Ronick (Producer, iRonick Media) – https://ironickmedia.com/
- Stephen Duetzmann’s Podcast: Side Quest Success Stories – https://sidequestsolutions.org/
Be sure to follow, share, and leave a comment if this show resonates with you! Send me a message at podpage.com/themusicoflife to share your experiences, or to leave a comment. I'd love to feature it in a future episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caryn Portnoy (00:02):
Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life.
I'm your host. Karen Portnoy,before I get into this episode,
please comment, ask questions,share some of your experiences,
and don't forget to subscribe.
So this format is going to be alittle bit different. Today. I
was fortunate enough to beinterviewed for a podcast called
(00:25):
side quest success stories,hosted by Steven dudesman,
somebody that I met in Orlando,Florida in January of 25 for the
pod fest convention. Thank youfor tuning in.
Unknown (00:42):
You. Hello
Stephen Duetzmann (00:45):
everyone, and welcome to another episode of
the side quest success storiespodcast. My name is Steven
duetsman, and I am your host,and I am joined today by a very
special guest who I met inFlorida just a few weeks ago.
Karen Portnoy, how are you? I'm
Caryn Portnoy (01:00):
great. Thank you.
How are you? I'm great. So we'rehere
Stephen Duetzmann (01:04):
because I met you at pod fest 2025, down in
Orlando, and you are running anew podcast that is very cool in
that it is talking about areally important subject. I
wanted to give you anopportunity to spread the word.
So why don't you tell me whatyour podcast is, why you started
(01:24):
it?
Caryn Portnoy (01:24):
Okay, so my thank you. By the way, the name of my
podcast is called the music oflife. It's it's been out since
early November of 2024 I'm veryproud of it. I It's about my my
three year very toxic, veryhostile divorce while living
(01:46):
together. And you know, it was,it was the hardest time of my
life, even though I initiatedthe divorce, and I talk about in
each episode, different waysthat I was abused, and how I
overcame that. I embarked on atwo and a half year intense
(02:08):
spiritual healing journey at thesame time that I was abused,
which is not very common and notvery easy, but you know now that
the divorce is final, and I'vemoved out of the house, and I'm
living separately on my own forthe last eight months, I'm now
happy and at peace and thriving.
So the impetus for doing thispodcast, I really felt called to
(02:34):
tell my story, and it wasn't tothrow my ex under the bus in any
way that wasn't the purpose forit, sure, the fact that I end up
exposing him for what hadhappened throughout the divorce
and beyond is secondary. Theprimary reason for doing this is
(02:55):
to help others. I wanted to helpand inspire people. And anybody
who's going through this, youknow, has to know that there is
a light at the end of thetunnel. I never saw a light at
the end of the tunnel through myordeal. And anytime anyone said
to me that it will end one day,and even when my lawyer said
(03:17):
we're in the final stages, Ididn't believe anybody until we
were sitting at the tablesigning our agreement. But at
the same time, you know, I'm I'min several divorce groups on
social media, I'm reaching over300,000 people with my comments
and posts. And so I read and Ihear what people are talking
(03:41):
about in their situations, and Ifeel like I can be that life
raft for people that I didn'thave for myself. So that's
really what my passion is andwhat my purpose is in doing
this.
Stephen Duetzmann (03:58):
Sure, I would imagine that there's a lot of
people in those groups that justneed to hear the story so they
know they're not alone, and thepodcasting platform is so great
for that purpose, right? Becausethey can hear your voice, they
know your stories, and they knowyou're a real person. It's easy
to dismiss words sometimes whenthey're on a page or on a
(04:20):
screen. But you know, theintimacy of a podcast can kind
of break through some of that.
And I'm sure you know there arepeople in your audience who just
need to hear that their story isnot singular, that they're not
by themselves going throughsomething that's never happened
before. So exactly kind ofsharing that tragedy and kind of
helping them through that, it'scertainly valuable. And when I
heard you were doing that, Iknew right away, when I started
(04:43):
this podcast that I wanted tohave you on so you So you
started this in November. Sohere we are. We're only a
handful of months in, and youalready seeing, by all measure,
great success. It sounds likegreat fulfillment, too, because
a lot of folks are hearing it.
I'm sure everybody has heard it.
Has seen value in the storiesthat you're sharing. And I know
you had said that you've kind oftalked this topic a lot, and so
(05:06):
you kind of have, like, a bodyof work where you've kind of
covered it from as many anglesas you can think of right now.
And I know that you've, youknow, connected with all these
people, but you kind of want totalk about life, beyond which, I
think is also an important partof the process, right? So, you
know, what other topics are youthinking about, covering and
talking about? And you know, areyou ever going to circle back?
(05:27):
You know, somebody asks youquestions. Are you going to
leave the, you know, divorcetopic behind? Let me know what,
what do you think for contentmoving forward.
Caryn Portnoy (05:36):
So it's interesting. My producer
initially said, you know, oh,you'll probably do about four or
five episodes on the divorce,and then you'll move into your
healing journey and like, we'rejust kind of mapping out the
plan forward. And I justfinished recording episode 13,
and I said I still have more inme. And he's like, Well, keep
(05:59):
going. The the what'sinteresting is, you know, it was
important to me to tell my storylike in detail and in
completion, because I wanted toestablish credibility for my
audience, to understand thatI've been where they are. I'm
(06:19):
not just spewing, just to spewlike I've really been I see
them, I know what they'redealing with. And so, you know,
there was emotional,psychological, mental abuse,
there was financial and legalabuse. There was sexual abuse,
but not in the sense of assault.
It was more withholding, likewithholding sex and love and
(06:39):
affection and and all to controland dominate me. So that's a
thing too. And, and I, you know,I go into great detail on all of
these different ways to beabused. In a divorce, I recorded
the 13th episode, and at theend, I really just put my mic
down and said, You know what?
(07:02):
I'm sick of talking about mydivorce. I'm done. So I think
this is the crux where I justkind of wrap it up and say,
Okay, it's time to move forward.
My life has moved forward. So Idon't want to keep dwelling in
the past and and ruminatingover, you know what happened and
all of that, and I don't want tobe stuck in negativity. So I
(07:23):
always felt that I had thisinnate drive to just keep moving
forward and to be positive. AndI was I was very clear for
myself. I was not going to lethim crush my spirit. I was not
going to let him close my heart,and I was not going to let him
break me. Those were my threemain things, sure, and that's,
(07:46):
that's what drove me, Did Ianswer your question? You
absolutely did,
Stephen Duetzmann (07:53):
yeah, and that's okay. We're podcasting.
If I didn't want long answers toquestions, this would be a very
bad format. So, and honestly, Idon't think that was long. I
think it was, it was reallygood. Big props to your
producer. Someone who was lessflexible would have said, okay,
you know, why don't you move onand not giving you the
opportunity to produce, whatamounts to what? Seven more
(08:13):
pieces of content? Yeah, ninemore pieces of content. He was
thinking, four, and now you'reat 13, so nine more pieces of
content. He could havediscouraged that, and instead,
clearly, you've gotten value outof it, right? And also, we know
this podcast is part of yourhealing journey, but there is
zero chance, especiallyconsidering all the different
(08:33):
things that you've talked aboutover those 13 episodes, that
someone didn't find value ineach of those episodes, and also
good for you seeing the plan andrealizing that everybody's got a
plan until you got to change it.
For some reason, you had more tosay. And I think having 13
episodes kind of wrapping thisissue up from a content
perspective, and it's reallyeasy to repackage and repurpose
(08:56):
and reuse as stuff that youcould share moving forward,
because a year from now, you'llbe still making this podcast and
talking about whatever else youneed, and it'll always be a part
of it, right? People will alwayssay, I remember you when this is
what you talked about. Andpeople who ask you'll be able to
point them back to Hey, look atthis playlist of episodes that I
have that cover everything. So
Caryn Portnoy (09:21):
I just want to say really quick, of course, I
had been working with myproducer for three years now. I
had an original topic threeyears ago, and due to my
divorce, I decided to put it onthe back burner. Sure. So my
producer and I have been workingtogether for three years, even
though my my current podcastjust came out recently. So I
(09:45):
just he's been my biggestcheerleader all along. I'm so
grateful for everything, and Itell him this all the time, and
he was a podcast with me and allthat stuff. So goodness, it's
Marc Ronick from ironic media.
And it's R O N, R O N, i, c k.
Stephen Duetzmann (10:05):
I will certainly put links to him in
the show notes. If you likegreat, great. We love supporting
good content strategists andproducers here on my show. I
wish I had known he was there. Iwould have wanted to shake his
hand, but maybe next year at podfest. Yeah, I
Caryn Portnoy (10:19):
will make a point. Takes care of the two of
us. I could send you if youwanted to put it up, but not
necessary if you don't. The
Stephen Duetzmann (10:24):
fact that you have such a great relationship
with your producer is it'sawesome. There are a lot of
folks that kind of go thisalone. And you know, being a
creator without someone tobounce ideas off of is it's a
it's a lonely road. And so thefact that you have been working
with him for this long and madeit through a pretty significant
(10:45):
content change, and are stillworking together, and it's still
positive. Is a testament to theamount of trust that exists
between the two of you. It'sfunny. I just had a podcast
episode that I recordedyesterday that was all about
trust between creators and theircustomers. So it's interesting
that we see a little throughline here. It's almost like
(11:05):
trust is important in business,and creativity probably
everything, now that I thinkabout it. So do you want to talk
about what your original futuretopic is? Because I'd love to
hear what the original idea wasbefore you kind of transformed
it.
Caryn Portnoy (11:22):
So first, let me go back and answer a previous
question you were asking about.
You know if, if content comeslater on, if people come back
and circle back to me and askquestions or whatever, I
actually have a feature on mywebsite, which is
podpage.com/the music of life.
(11:42):
There's a feature there wherepeople can leave a voicemail for
me. I promise, you know, I onthe header of the website. I
promise on anonymity. So youknow, if people want to just
share their story and not saytheir name, or I would never
mention their name, but it isadditional content that I can
use, you know, their stories andwhatever, and then speak about
(12:05):
that. So I welcome that withopen arms. I think it's it's a
great way to just corroboratethat people are going through
similar things. So that's onething, and then, so the next
part of my podcast for now willbe transitioning from post
divorce and what I've been up tofor the last eight months, and
(12:27):
how I've transitioned, and allof that, and then I get into my
entire spiritual healingjourney, which will be off the
charts. I'm sure many peoplewill enjoy that. And so I'm, I'm
very excited about that. Youknow, my plan originally was the
(12:47):
first section will be about mydivorce, second section will be
about my healing, and then thethird section would be about my
original idea, which was music'sinfluence on sex, love and
relationships. Okay? You know,look, we all have stories about
our past, good, bad orindifferent. Music narrates all
of our lives and and so I, Icurated specific songs to go
(13:12):
with specific stories andencounters and experiences. So,
you know, I just the feedbackthat I got alone three years ago
was just amazing, becauseeverybody remembers where they
were, when they had their firstkiss, or when they had their
first major breakup, or and andthe songs that were associated
to that. So, you know. And oneof my friends said to me, you
(13:37):
know, you better hurry up andlaunch this before somebody else
steals your idea. And I said,You know what? I'm not worried
about that because they're notme, and they're not going to
bring to it what I bring to it,so they can do their version of
it if they want. But I dobelieve that I have a unique way
of putting this all together.
And even still, in my currentsection. I mean, the the name of
(14:00):
this podcast is the music oflife, and while I had it planned
on including specific songswithin the episodes, Spotify
changed their rules, and you'renot allowed to do that anymore.
So I've been building playliststo attach to each episode right
now, so I'm almost done buildingthat. And, you know, it's, it's
(14:23):
very personal. It's very, youknow, the songs that inspired
the content, the content thatinspired the songs. So I'm going
to have 1010, songs per episodeattached to my show notes, so
people can listen to the episodeand then listen to the music
that inspired it. So I'm reallyhappy about that.
Stephen Duetzmann (14:47):
I really like that idea. I almost think having
the playlist is kind of betterthan embedding it in the
episode. Having that playlist tokind of go through separately,
you're kind of creating twopieces of content out of. An
episode. I love it cool. That'sa really good idea.
Caryn Portnoy (15:03):
I think that, you know, look, I can argue both
sides of it, but having themusic within the episode, I
liked it because it broke up themonotony of my voice, but at the
same time, it interrupts theflow of the episode. So I agree.
I think attaching the playlistis way better. And I also
consider where my audience iswhen they're listening. Are they
(15:28):
in their car? They walking theirdog? Are they in a nail salon,
like you just don't know. So Ithink they can listen at their
leisure, and it's great at theend of
Stephen Duetzmann (15:37):
the day, rules is rules, right? So you
gotta, we got to live with whatwe have. And I think that's a
great idea. Exactly. What dothey say limitations can fuel
great art? And I think that is avery creative workaround, and
one that I think will will payoff. Everybody remembers their
first kiss. Everybody remembersbreakups. I remember music that
(15:58):
I listened to in the car drivinghome from bad experiences. So I
absolutely identify with that,and I'm sure everyone else will.
Let's talk about goals. This isa pretty big undertaking. Has
obviously been a through linefor you for a few years now, so
the fact that you've stuck withit for three years, even through
(16:20):
all the major life changes youwere going through. That tells
me that this is something you'rereally committed to. What's the
hope out of this? What are youhoping to turn this into? You
Caryn Portnoy (16:29):
know, it's interesting because I remember
Marc saying that at thebeginning of the year, out of
the 25,000 new podcasters byFebruary, 30% of them quit. And
I thought that that was crazy.
And I even I'm like, That'snuts. And he laughed, and he
(16:50):
said, You know, that's so notyou don't even worry. You know,
I have a very clear visionforward in terms of what my
goals and hopes and dreams are.
I always said that this podcastwas going to be just the tip of
the iceberg, and I plan on goingin any any direction that makes
(17:13):
sense for me. But you know, itstarted out as a book. I had
eight chapters written by thetime I had met Marc, and we
talked about turning the bookinto a podcast. And he said it
happens all the time. Books turninto podcasts. Podcasts turn
into books. It'sinterchangeable. So when I met
(17:34):
Maria podfest, I expected that,you know, episode one will be
chapter one, and episode twowill be chapter two. And she
said, No, that's not how itworks. And so, you know, we were
talking about how to turn mypodcast into a book, and she
said, you know, we pull from afew different episodes to make a
(17:55):
chapter, and then whatever holesneed to be filled in, that's
where you come in. And I lovethat idea. I love that it's not
going to be the exact replica ofmy podcast, that there's still
room for creativity andexpression and authenticity. And
that's, that's where I comefrom. So I'm excited about that.
(18:17):
We talked about different levelsof, you know, like whether I
want to start coaching, whetherI want to start offering. We
started talking about, like,setting up a retreat down the
line, you know, where I cantalk, you know, have different
sessions myself about talkingabout different aspects of
(18:38):
divorce and and custody and allkinds of things. And bring in
different practitioners. Have aReiki person, have a, you know,
a spa person, or, you know, whoknows, just different modalities
to incorporate into, like aretreat. Have somebody bringing
in, like crystals and all kindsof, you know, other spiritual
(19:01):
products, just like the the ideaof just building like this is
just so exciting to me. And thenthere, you know, there are other
opportunities, like speakingengagements and things like
that. And I just, I'm, I'm aboutto actually meet with Marc to
talk about all these differentopportunities that I learned
(19:22):
about at pod fest, and thethings that are realistic and
the things that maybe I shouldput on the back burner for now,
but, but this is just thebeginning. I mean, my podcast is
not even out three months yet,and I have, I think I have,
like, 1630 downloads so far,sure, and this is just organic.
(19:44):
I haven't even, I haven't evenfully promoted myself yet, so
sure, I'm inspired by the factthat I'm hitting the right
people. I did a Facebook livefor one of these groups I'm in,
and the creator of that. Grouptold me that the most plays that
anyone ever received in thatgroup, in the history of the
(20:05):
group, was in the high twohundreds, and I'm now at like
895 plays. I mean, I'm hittingthe right people, is my point.
Stephen Duetzmann (20:15):
Yeah, let me give you some food for thought.
You're definitely hitting theright people, and it's not a
small audience, right? They tellyou to niche down, and I think
you've niched down very well,and you have a unique voice and
a unique perspective. Marie gaveyou great advice about turning
your podcast into a book, right?
You know, the episodes are greatoutlines, and take the
transcripts, turn those intooutlines, and use those as a
(20:36):
source, but then remixing itinto a book is a very strong
idea, and I think that iscertainly something that I'm
glad that you started, and surethat you know, finishing that
will be of value. It feels to melike what you need to do is just
start building a community,because things like retreats are
possible when you have a strongcommunity around you, so, you
(21:02):
know, and so I would definitely,you know, lean in that
direction, you know, you'reworking with these other
communities, but I thinkeventually it's probably going
to be valuable for you to startyour own. There are a bunch of
different platforms you can dothat, and Facebook groups work
just as well. I
Caryn Portnoy (21:18):
just started a Facebook group of my own, yeah,
so I just started that
Stephen Duetzmann (21:23):
so finding people in there and slowly
growing that through yourthrough your podcast. But I also
think that there is likely goingto be value over time, and I
recommend that folks start thisearly, just because it is
something that only compounds invalue. I would work on using a
(21:43):
tool to build a mailing list.
One way that you can market newproducts and new cross
promotional things is throughemails. I'm sure your producer
will have some ideas on how todo this. The traditional way
would be, obviously you'recreating content now, through
that, you can encourage peopleto sign up for the mailing list
for updates and exclusivecontent. You can send them
(22:04):
playlists from Spotify orsomething like that, right?
Since music is so important,he'll come up with, I'm sure
he'll have some ideas on that.
You don't need to be anewsletter creator or something
like that in order to do it, butsend in periodic emails to that
email list reminding them thisis the content that you've
created, something like that, tokind of nurture that
(22:28):
relationship, so that they'reused to getting messages from
you. That'll be valuable too,because as the podcast grows,
you'll have that email list aswell that you can it's hard to
promote a book on a podcastsolely, but if you have your
podcast and your email and yourwebsite, then you have more
means at your disposal to getthe word out. And it's just a
(22:51):
natural way to open a podcastwhere, after you're opening
during a segment where you mightdo promotions, you can say, join
my mailing list for updates, andkind of slowly get that
information. You can gatherthose email addresses even if
you're not immediately planningto monetize it, right, or even
(23:11):
if you really don't have anysignificant commitment to
communicate.
Caryn Portnoy (23:15):
Well, my focus Go ahead. I'm sorry. My focus right
now is to build my audience, andI do have the capability on my
website to capture emailaddresses, so perfect. I think
in my in the next section goingforward, I'll start in my outro
to invite people to sign up andand get that going
Stephen Duetzmann (23:36):
absolutely I think that'll just support
everything else. It'll justcompound over time. You will
continue to get more downloads.
You're doing all the right work.
You're appearing in thesegroups. It's only a matter of
time. So I think building acommunity and building an
audience around you is the bestway, because the reality is,
people are going to want toconsume your content, but once
they do that, they're going tobuild a relationship with you.
(23:58):
Prepare a social one, but youknow, they're going to feel like
they know you, they're going tofeel that closeness, and as a
result, they're going to, youknow, they're going to only
benefit, and vice versa. So Ithink that's the crazy thing.
Caryn Portnoy (24:10):
Here's the crazy thing. So in, in the in the
website that hosts my, mywebsite, you know, I the stats
page where I can see how manydownloads, I can see locations
and which episodes are the mostpopular, and all that kind of
stuff. So I'm looking at thelocations just to see, you know,
(24:32):
for lack of a better term forshits and giggles, to see where
in the world, you know who'slistening. And I'm I'm already
starting to make traction inEurope and in Australia and in
Asia, and I forget one otherplace, but it's like, I think I
(24:54):
have two downloads in Asia sofar, like the fact that I'm even
on their. Radar at all is justhysterical to me, because who's
listening, you know, there?
Stephen Duetzmann (25:06):
I mean, probably somebody that is going
through a divorce, yeah,universe. It's a unfortunately
universal experience. So, youknow, you're speaking to lots of
people, it doesn't surprise methat it's that you're speaking
the universal language, alsomusic, right? It's a universal
language. So it's going to hiteverybody.
Caryn Portnoy (25:21):
Awesome. I love it because, you know, not even
three months out and and I'malready starting to wind up on
people's feeds or whatever. It'sjust, it's awesome. I love it. I
love this whole platformAbsolutely. Well, I
Stephen Duetzmann (25:38):
love to hear it honestly. If it wasn't for
this platform, I wouldn't havemet you, and that would have
been a disservice to me from theuniverse. So thank you very much
for that. It was great crashinginto you a couple of times at
pod fest, those hallways arehere. Oh, well, that's true.
That's true. I will make sure tothank her when I talk to her
later on today, those halls weresmall, and I liked it because it
(26:00):
was a really cozy environment. Isaw the same people over and
over again, and it was awesome.
So Karen, I want to thank youfor being on my show. You know,
I know that your podcast is asensitive topic. It is one that
is very close to you. I wantedto give as much value to you as
I could, to give you anopportunity to share it with as
many people as possible. Sohopefully, even years from now,
we'll be sending people over togo listen to your Spotify
(26:23):
playlists. Love it. So thank youvery much. And everybody
listening. Thank you very muchfor listening to, uh, Karen's
story, her podcast, the music oflife, all the good news and
everything will be linked in ourshow notes. So don't worry about
too much. Don't crash your caror anything listening to this,
and it'll be there when you gethome, and I will be back next
(26:44):
time for another side questsuccess story. So until next
time, hope you have a great day.
Take care. Bye now.
Caryn Portnoy (26:57):
So being on the other side of the mic was a
great experience for me, and Ireally want to thank Steve and
dudesman for having me. I hopethat we can collaborate again
sometime in the future. Pleasejoin me every Thursday for a new
episode. You can reach mywebsite@podpage.com slash the
(27:18):
music of life. Feel free toleave your email address. You
can also leave a voicemail andshare any kinds of stories or
experiences or anything thatyou'd like to talk about. I
promise I will keep youanonymous, but I assure you that
whatever experiences or storiesyou leave for me, you are not
alone, and I would love to sharethat with other people who are
(27:40):
also going through similarthings. Thanks again for
listening. I'll see you in thenext episode. You.
Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life.
I'm your host. Karen Portnoy,before I get into this episode,
please comment, ask questions,share some of your experiences,
and don't forget to subscribe.
So this format is going to be alittle bit different. Today. I
was fortunate enough to beinterviewed for a podcast called
(00:25):
side quest success stories,hosted by Steven dudesman,
somebody that I met in Orlando,Florida in January of 25 for the
pod fest convention. Thank youfor tuning in.
Unknown (00:42):
You. Hello
Stephen Duetzmann (00:45):
everyone, and welcome to another episode of
the side quest success storiespodcast. My name is Steven
duetsman, and I am your host,and I am joined today by a very
special guest who I met inFlorida just a few weeks ago.
Karen Portnoy, how are you? I'm
Caryn Portnoy (01:00):
great. Thank you.
How are you? I'm great. So we'rehere
Stephen Duetzmann (01:04):
because I met you at pod fest 2025, down in
Orlando, and you are running anew podcast that is very cool in
that it is talking about areally important subject. I
wanted to give you anopportunity to spread the word.
So why don't you tell me whatyour podcast is, why you started
(01:24):
it?
Caryn Portnoy (01:24):
Okay, so my thank you. By the way, the name of my
podcast is called the music oflife. It's it's been out since
early November of 2024 I'm veryproud of it. I It's about my my
three year very toxic, veryhostile divorce while living
(01:46):
together. And you know, it was,it was the hardest time of my
life, even though I initiatedthe divorce, and I talk about in
each episode, different waysthat I was abused, and how I
overcame that. I embarked on atwo and a half year intense
(02:08):
spiritual healing journey at thesame time that I was abused,
which is not very common and notvery easy, but you know now that
the divorce is final, and I'vemoved out of the house, and I'm
living separately on my own forthe last eight months, I'm now
happy and at peace and thriving.
So the impetus for doing thispodcast, I really felt called to
(02:34):
tell my story, and it wasn't tothrow my ex under the bus in any
way that wasn't the purpose forit, sure, the fact that I end up
exposing him for what hadhappened throughout the divorce
and beyond is secondary. Theprimary reason for doing this is
(02:55):
to help others. I wanted to helpand inspire people. And anybody
who's going through this, youknow, has to know that there is
a light at the end of thetunnel. I never saw a light at
the end of the tunnel through myordeal. And anytime anyone said
to me that it will end one day,and even when my lawyer said
(03:17):
we're in the final stages, Ididn't believe anybody until we
were sitting at the tablesigning our agreement. But at
the same time, you know, I'm I'min several divorce groups on
social media, I'm reaching over300,000 people with my comments
and posts. And so I read and Ihear what people are talking
(03:41):
about in their situations, and Ifeel like I can be that life
raft for people that I didn'thave for myself. So that's
really what my passion is andwhat my purpose is in doing
this.
Stephen Duetzmann (03:58):
Sure, I would imagine that there's a lot of
people in those groups that justneed to hear the story so they
know they're not alone, and thepodcasting platform is so great
for that purpose, right? Becausethey can hear your voice, they
know your stories, and they knowyou're a real person. It's easy
to dismiss words sometimes whenthey're on a page or on a
(04:20):
screen. But you know, theintimacy of a podcast can kind
of break through some of that.
And I'm sure you know there arepeople in your audience who just
need to hear that their story isnot singular, that they're not
by themselves going throughsomething that's never happened
before. So exactly kind ofsharing that tragedy and kind of
helping them through that, it'scertainly valuable. And when I
heard you were doing that, Iknew right away, when I started
(04:43):
this podcast that I wanted tohave you on so you So you
started this in November. Sohere we are. We're only a
handful of months in, and youalready seeing, by all measure,
great success. It sounds likegreat fulfillment, too, because
a lot of folks are hearing it.
I'm sure everybody has heard it.
Has seen value in the storiesthat you're sharing. And I know
you had said that you've kind oftalked this topic a lot, and so
(05:06):
you kind of have, like, a bodyof work where you've kind of
covered it from as many anglesas you can think of right now.
And I know that you've, youknow, connected with all these
people, but you kind of want totalk about life, beyond which, I
think is also an important partof the process, right? So, you
know, what other topics are youthinking about, covering and
talking about? And you know, areyou ever going to circle back?
(05:27):
You know, somebody asks youquestions. Are you going to
leave the, you know, divorcetopic behind? Let me know what,
what do you think for contentmoving forward.
Caryn Portnoy (05:36):
So it's interesting. My producer
initially said, you know, oh,you'll probably do about four or
five episodes on the divorce,and then you'll move into your
healing journey and like, we'rejust kind of mapping out the
plan forward. And I justfinished recording episode 13,
and I said I still have more inme. And he's like, Well, keep
(05:59):
going. The the what'sinteresting is, you know, it was
important to me to tell my storylike in detail and in
completion, because I wanted toestablish credibility for my
audience, to understand thatI've been where they are. I'm
(06:19):
not just spewing, just to spewlike I've really been I see
them, I know what they'redealing with. And so, you know,
there was emotional,psychological, mental abuse,
there was financial and legalabuse. There was sexual abuse,
but not in the sense of assault.
It was more withholding, likewithholding sex and love and
(06:39):
affection and and all to controland dominate me. So that's a
thing too. And, and I, you know,I go into great detail on all of
these different ways to beabused. In a divorce, I recorded
the 13th episode, and at theend, I really just put my mic
down and said, You know what?
(07:02):
I'm sick of talking about mydivorce. I'm done. So I think
this is the crux where I justkind of wrap it up and say,
Okay, it's time to move forward.
My life has moved forward. So Idon't want to keep dwelling in
the past and and ruminatingover, you know what happened and
all of that, and I don't want tobe stuck in negativity. So I
(07:23):
always felt that I had thisinnate drive to just keep moving
forward and to be positive. AndI was I was very clear for
myself. I was not going to lethim crush my spirit. I was not
going to let him close my heart,and I was not going to let him
break me. Those were my threemain things, sure, and that's,
(07:46):
that's what drove me, Did Ianswer your question? You
absolutely did,
Stephen Duetzmann (07:53):
yeah, and that's okay. We're podcasting.
If I didn't want long answers toquestions, this would be a very
bad format. So, and honestly, Idon't think that was long. I
think it was, it was reallygood. Big props to your
producer. Someone who was lessflexible would have said, okay,
you know, why don't you move onand not giving you the
opportunity to produce, whatamounts to what? Seven more
(08:13):
pieces of content? Yeah, ninemore pieces of content. He was
thinking, four, and now you'reat 13, so nine more pieces of
content. He could havediscouraged that, and instead,
clearly, you've gotten value outof it, right? And also, we know
this podcast is part of yourhealing journey, but there is
zero chance, especiallyconsidering all the different
(08:33):
things that you've talked aboutover those 13 episodes, that
someone didn't find value ineach of those episodes, and also
good for you seeing the plan andrealizing that everybody's got a
plan until you got to change it.
For some reason, you had more tosay. And I think having 13
episodes kind of wrapping thisissue up from a content
perspective, and it's reallyeasy to repackage and repurpose
(08:56):
and reuse as stuff that youcould share moving forward,
because a year from now, you'llbe still making this podcast and
talking about whatever else youneed, and it'll always be a part
of it, right? People will alwayssay, I remember you when this is
what you talked about. Andpeople who ask you'll be able to
point them back to Hey, look atthis playlist of episodes that I
have that cover everything. So
Caryn Portnoy (09:21):
I just want to say really quick, of course, I
had been working with myproducer for three years now. I
had an original topic threeyears ago, and due to my
divorce, I decided to put it onthe back burner. Sure. So my
producer and I have been workingtogether for three years, even
though my my current podcastjust came out recently. So I
(09:45):
just he's been my biggestcheerleader all along. I'm so
grateful for everything, and Itell him this all the time, and
he was a podcast with me and allthat stuff. So goodness, it's
Marc Ronick from ironic media.
And it's R O N, R O N, i, c k.
Stephen Duetzmann (10:05):
I will certainly put links to him in
the show notes. If you likegreat, great. We love supporting
good content strategists andproducers here on my show. I
wish I had known he was there. Iwould have wanted to shake his
hand, but maybe next year at podfest. Yeah, I
Caryn Portnoy (10:19):
will make a point. Takes care of the two of
us. I could send you if youwanted to put it up, but not
necessary if you don't. The
Stephen Duetzmann (10:24):
fact that you have such a great relationship
with your producer is it'sawesome. There are a lot of
folks that kind of go thisalone. And you know, being a
creator without someone tobounce ideas off of is it's a
it's a lonely road. And so thefact that you have been working
with him for this long and madeit through a pretty significant
(10:45):
content change, and are stillworking together, and it's still
positive. Is a testament to theamount of trust that exists
between the two of you. It'sfunny. I just had a podcast
episode that I recordedyesterday that was all about
trust between creators and theircustomers. So it's interesting
that we see a little throughline here. It's almost like
(11:05):
trust is important in business,and creativity probably
everything, now that I thinkabout it. So do you want to talk
about what your original futuretopic is? Because I'd love to
hear what the original idea wasbefore you kind of transformed
it.
Caryn Portnoy (11:22):
So first, let me go back and answer a previous
question you were asking about.
You know if, if content comeslater on, if people come back
and circle back to me and askquestions or whatever, I
actually have a feature on mywebsite, which is
podpage.com/the music of life.
(11:42):
There's a feature there wherepeople can leave a voicemail for
me. I promise, you know, I onthe header of the website. I
promise on anonymity. So youknow, if people want to just
share their story and not saytheir name, or I would never
mention their name, but it isadditional content that I can
use, you know, their stories andwhatever, and then speak about
(12:05):
that. So I welcome that withopen arms. I think it's it's a
great way to just corroboratethat people are going through
similar things. So that's onething, and then, so the next
part of my podcast for now willbe transitioning from post
divorce and what I've been up tofor the last eight months, and
(12:27):
how I've transitioned, and allof that, and then I get into my
entire spiritual healingjourney, which will be off the
charts. I'm sure many peoplewill enjoy that. And so I'm, I'm
very excited about that. Youknow, my plan originally was the
(12:47):
first section will be about mydivorce, second section will be
about my healing, and then thethird section would be about my
original idea, which was music'sinfluence on sex, love and
relationships. Okay? You know,look, we all have stories about
our past, good, bad orindifferent. Music narrates all
of our lives and and so I, Icurated specific songs to go
(13:12):
with specific stories andencounters and experiences. So,
you know, I just the feedbackthat I got alone three years ago
was just amazing, becauseeverybody remembers where they
were, when they had their firstkiss, or when they had their
first major breakup, or and andthe songs that were associated
to that. So, you know. And oneof my friends said to me, you
(13:37):
know, you better hurry up andlaunch this before somebody else
steals your idea. And I said,You know what? I'm not worried
about that because they're notme, and they're not going to
bring to it what I bring to it,so they can do their version of
it if they want. But I dobelieve that I have a unique way
of putting this all together.
And even still, in my currentsection. I mean, the the name of
(14:00):
this podcast is the music oflife, and while I had it planned
on including specific songswithin the episodes, Spotify
changed their rules, and you'renot allowed to do that anymore.
So I've been building playliststo attach to each episode right
now, so I'm almost done buildingthat. And, you know, it's, it's
(14:23):
very personal. It's very, youknow, the songs that inspired
the content, the content thatinspired the songs. So I'm going
to have 1010, songs per episodeattached to my show notes, so
people can listen to the episodeand then listen to the music
that inspired it. So I'm reallyhappy about that.
Stephen Duetzmann (14:47):
I really like that idea. I almost think having
the playlist is kind of betterthan embedding it in the
episode. Having that playlist tokind of go through separately,
you're kind of creating twopieces of content out of. An
episode. I love it cool. That'sa really good idea.
Caryn Portnoy (15:03):
I think that, you know, look, I can argue both
sides of it, but having themusic within the episode, I
liked it because it broke up themonotony of my voice, but at the
same time, it interrupts theflow of the episode. So I agree.
I think attaching the playlistis way better. And I also
consider where my audience iswhen they're listening. Are they
(15:28):
in their car? They walking theirdog? Are they in a nail salon,
like you just don't know. So Ithink they can listen at their
leisure, and it's great at theend of
Stephen Duetzmann (15:37):
the day, rules is rules, right? So you
gotta, we got to live with whatwe have. And I think that's a
great idea. Exactly. What dothey say limitations can fuel
great art? And I think that is avery creative workaround, and
one that I think will will payoff. Everybody remembers their
first kiss. Everybody remembersbreakups. I remember music that
(15:58):
I listened to in the car drivinghome from bad experiences. So I
absolutely identify with that,and I'm sure everyone else will.
Let's talk about goals. This isa pretty big undertaking. Has
obviously been a through linefor you for a few years now, so
the fact that you've stuck withit for three years, even through
(16:20):
all the major life changes youwere going through. That tells
me that this is something you'rereally committed to. What's the
hope out of this? What are youhoping to turn this into? You
Caryn Portnoy (16:29):
know, it's interesting because I remember
Marc saying that at thebeginning of the year, out of
the 25,000 new podcasters byFebruary, 30% of them quit. And
I thought that that was crazy.
And I even I'm like, That'snuts. And he laughed, and he
(16:50):
said, You know, that's so notyou don't even worry. You know,
I have a very clear visionforward in terms of what my
goals and hopes and dreams are.
I always said that this podcastwas going to be just the tip of
the iceberg, and I plan on goingin any any direction that makes
(17:13):
sense for me. But you know, itstarted out as a book. I had
eight chapters written by thetime I had met Marc, and we
talked about turning the bookinto a podcast. And he said it
happens all the time. Books turninto podcasts. Podcasts turn
into books. It'sinterchangeable. So when I met
(17:34):
Maria podfest, I expected that,you know, episode one will be
chapter one, and episode twowill be chapter two. And she
said, No, that's not how itworks. And so, you know, we were
talking about how to turn mypodcast into a book, and she
said, you know, we pull from afew different episodes to make a
(17:55):
chapter, and then whatever holesneed to be filled in, that's
where you come in. And I lovethat idea. I love that it's not
going to be the exact replica ofmy podcast, that there's still
room for creativity andexpression and authenticity. And
that's, that's where I comefrom. So I'm excited about that.
(18:17):
We talked about different levelsof, you know, like whether I
want to start coaching, whetherI want to start offering. We
started talking about, like,setting up a retreat down the
line, you know, where I cantalk, you know, have different
sessions myself about talkingabout different aspects of
(18:38):
divorce and and custody and allkinds of things. And bring in
different practitioners. Have aReiki person, have a, you know,
a spa person, or, you know, whoknows, just different modalities
to incorporate into, like aretreat. Have somebody bringing
in, like crystals and all kindsof, you know, other spiritual
(19:01):
products, just like the the ideaof just building like this is
just so exciting to me. And thenthere, you know, there are other
opportunities, like speakingengagements and things like
that. And I just, I'm, I'm aboutto actually meet with Marc to
talk about all these differentopportunities that I learned
(19:22):
about at pod fest, and thethings that are realistic and
the things that maybe I shouldput on the back burner for now,
but, but this is just thebeginning. I mean, my podcast is
not even out three months yet,and I have, I think I have,
like, 1630 downloads so far,sure, and this is just organic.
(19:44):
I haven't even, I haven't evenfully promoted myself yet, so
sure, I'm inspired by the factthat I'm hitting the right
people. I did a Facebook livefor one of these groups I'm in,
and the creator of that. Grouptold me that the most plays that
anyone ever received in thatgroup, in the history of the
(20:05):
group, was in the high twohundreds, and I'm now at like
895 plays. I mean, I'm hittingthe right people, is my point.
Stephen Duetzmann (20:15):
Yeah, let me give you some food for thought.
You're definitely hitting theright people, and it's not a
small audience, right? They tellyou to niche down, and I think
you've niched down very well,and you have a unique voice and
a unique perspective. Marie gaveyou great advice about turning
your podcast into a book, right?
You know, the episodes are greatoutlines, and take the
transcripts, turn those intooutlines, and use those as a
(20:36):
source, but then remixing itinto a book is a very strong
idea, and I think that iscertainly something that I'm
glad that you started, and surethat you know, finishing that
will be of value. It feels to melike what you need to do is just
start building a community,because things like retreats are
possible when you have a strongcommunity around you, so, you
(21:02):
know, and so I would definitely,you know, lean in that
direction, you know, you'reworking with these other
communities, but I thinkeventually it's probably going
to be valuable for you to startyour own. There are a bunch of
different platforms you can dothat, and Facebook groups work
just as well. I
Caryn Portnoy (21:18):
just started a Facebook group of my own, yeah,
so I just started that
Stephen Duetzmann (21:23):
so finding people in there and slowly
growing that through yourthrough your podcast. But I also
think that there is likely goingto be value over time, and I
recommend that folks start thisearly, just because it is
something that only compounds invalue. I would work on using a
(21:43):
tool to build a mailing list.
One way that you can market newproducts and new cross
promotional things is throughemails. I'm sure your producer
will have some ideas on how todo this. The traditional way
would be, obviously you'recreating content now, through
that, you can encourage peopleto sign up for the mailing list
for updates and exclusivecontent. You can send them
(22:04):
playlists from Spotify orsomething like that, right?
Since music is so important,he'll come up with, I'm sure
he'll have some ideas on that.
You don't need to be anewsletter creator or something
like that in order to do it, butsend in periodic emails to that
email list reminding them thisis the content that you've
created, something like that, tokind of nurture that
(22:28):
relationship, so that they'reused to getting messages from
you. That'll be valuable too,because as the podcast grows,
you'll have that email list aswell that you can it's hard to
promote a book on a podcastsolely, but if you have your
podcast and your email and yourwebsite, then you have more
means at your disposal to getthe word out. And it's just a
(22:51):
natural way to open a podcastwhere, after you're opening
during a segment where you mightdo promotions, you can say, join
my mailing list for updates, andkind of slowly get that
information. You can gatherthose email addresses even if
you're not immediately planningto monetize it, right, or even
(23:11):
if you really don't have anysignificant commitment to
communicate.
Caryn Portnoy (23:15):
Well, my focus Go ahead. I'm sorry. My focus right
now is to build my audience, andI do have the capability on my
website to capture emailaddresses, so perfect. I think
in my in the next section goingforward, I'll start in my outro
to invite people to sign up andand get that going
Stephen Duetzmann (23:36):
absolutely I think that'll just support
everything else. It'll justcompound over time. You will
continue to get more downloads.
You're doing all the right work.
You're appearing in thesegroups. It's only a matter of
time. So I think building acommunity and building an
audience around you is the bestway, because the reality is,
people are going to want toconsume your content, but once
they do that, they're going tobuild a relationship with you.
(23:58):
Prepare a social one, but youknow, they're going to feel like
they know you, they're going tofeel that closeness, and as a
result, they're going to, youknow, they're going to only
benefit, and vice versa. So Ithink that's the crazy thing.
Caryn Portnoy (24:10):
Here's the crazy thing. So in, in the in the
website that hosts my, mywebsite, you know, I the stats
page where I can see how manydownloads, I can see locations
and which episodes are the mostpopular, and all that kind of
stuff. So I'm looking at thelocations just to see, you know,
(24:32):
for lack of a better term forshits and giggles, to see where
in the world, you know who'slistening. And I'm I'm already
starting to make traction inEurope and in Australia and in
Asia, and I forget one otherplace, but it's like, I think I
(24:54):
have two downloads in Asia sofar, like the fact that I'm even
on their. Radar at all is justhysterical to me, because who's
listening, you know, there?
Stephen Duetzmann (25:06):
I mean, probably somebody that is going
through a divorce, yeah,universe. It's a unfortunately
universal experience. So, youknow, you're speaking to lots of
people, it doesn't surprise methat it's that you're speaking
the universal language, alsomusic, right? It's a universal
language. So it's going to hiteverybody.
Caryn Portnoy (25:21):
Awesome. I love it because, you know, not even
three months out and and I'malready starting to wind up on
people's feeds or whatever. It'sjust, it's awesome. I love it. I
love this whole platformAbsolutely. Well, I
Stephen Duetzmann (25:38):
love to hear it honestly. If it wasn't for
this platform, I wouldn't havemet you, and that would have
been a disservice to me from theuniverse. So thank you very much
for that. It was great crashinginto you a couple of times at
pod fest, those hallways arehere. Oh, well, that's true.
That's true. I will make sure tothank her when I talk to her
later on today, those halls weresmall, and I liked it because it
(26:00):
was a really cozy environment. Isaw the same people over and
over again, and it was awesome.
So Karen, I want to thank youfor being on my show. You know,
I know that your podcast is asensitive topic. It is one that
is very close to you. I wantedto give as much value to you as
I could, to give you anopportunity to share it with as
many people as possible. Sohopefully, even years from now,
we'll be sending people over togo listen to your Spotify
(26:23):
playlists. Love it. So thank youvery much. And everybody
listening. Thank you very muchfor listening to, uh, Karen's
story, her podcast, the music oflife, all the good news and
everything will be linked in ourshow notes. So don't worry about
too much. Don't crash your caror anything listening to this,
and it'll be there when you gethome, and I will be back next
(26:44):
time for another side questsuccess story. So until next
time, hope you have a great day.
Take care. Bye now.
Caryn Portnoy (26:57):
So being on the other side of the mic was a
great experience for me, and Ireally want to thank Steve and
dudesman for having me. I hopethat we can collaborate again
sometime in the future. Pleasejoin me every Thursday for a new
episode. You can reach mywebsite@podpage.com slash the
(27:18):
music of life. Feel free toleave your email address. You
can also leave a voicemail andshare any kinds of stories or
experiences or anything thatyou'd like to talk about. I
promise I will keep youanonymous, but I assure you that
whatever experiences or storiesyou leave for me, you are not
alone, and I would love to sharethat with other people who are
(27:40):
also going through similarthings. Thanks again for
listening. I'll see you in thenext episode. You.
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