October 14, 2025 • 41 mins
In this episode of the New Ashla Podcast, Justin Gates and Michael Perry explore the concept of ritual, emphasizing its significance in daily life and personal growth. They discuss how rituals are not just ceremonial acts but can be simple, intentional actions that bring meaning and presence to our routines. The conversation delves into the science behind rituals, their role in community and family, and practical steps to create meaningful rituals that resonate with individual intentions. The hosts encourage listeners to demystify rituals, recognizing their power to transform ordinary actions into sacred moments.
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Takeaways
"Rituals" are instinctual ways to add meaning to our lives.
Mindfulness can be practiced in everyday actions like washing dishes.
Rituals help ground us and provide a sense of safety.
Creating rituals requires intention and presence.
Rituals can be simple and accessible to everyone.
Consistency in rituals is more powerful than complexity.
Rituals are not just for special occasions; they are part of daily life.
We can infuse ordinary actions with sacredness through intention.
Rituals can help bridge our longing for connection and meaning.
You don't need permission or credentials to create your own rituals.
Keywords
ritual, mindfulness, intention, daily habits, personal growth, community, spirituality, meaning, presence, transformation
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The hidden power of ritual. You ever notice how you start
your morning? The small sequence you follow
before the day actually begins? Your coffee's your coffee, your
tea is poured, your candles are lit.
Maybe a moment of quiet or introspection or prayer before
the world rushes in around you. We rarely think of these things
as ritual, but they are. I'm Justin Gates, and welcome to
(00:22):
the new Ashland Podcast. Hello and welcome to the new
Asheville Podcasts. I'm your host, Justin Gates, and
joining me today is my boy, Michael Perry.
Hey fam. Hiding behind me is Heather.
Here We. Go.
(00:44):
I wasn't lying to you. Today we're going to talk about
ritual and I know for some of you this is going to be, you're
going to be like, what do you mean rituals?
You know, we lost like 6 listeners because of the Heaven
and hell show because they probably didn't actually listen
to it. But I promised you today, this
topic isn't going to be spooky or devil worshipping or whatever
kind of thing that you think ritual actually is, because it
(01:06):
probably isn't. That ritual isn't spooky.
It isn't reserved for those, forthe temples or the robes or
these ancient chants. They can be and they are.
But we're coming at this from a more grounded and down to earth
understanding ritual today. Michael, when you hear about the
word ritual, what do you think? What do you think, people?
I know for me, I mean, when you suggested this episode, I was
(01:27):
like, what tangent is he going down?
And I had to wait till you had your show notes to be like, OK,
cool. We're on the same page with this
because man, ritual to me is oneof the most pivotal pieces to a
successful and productive life. But when I first hear when I
first, whenever I hear the term ritual, my mind automatically
goes to the people in the robes or different ceremonies going
(01:48):
on. Right, which some of those are
really cool to watch and they'rereally cool to participate in.
But this is not what we're talking about because that stuff
is more ceremonial. It's more performance than it is
day-to-day, empowering your life, right.
And this is what we're talking about South.
And let's dispel the ugliness around the word ritual.
So like most people that I know when I talk about ritual, they
(02:12):
think, oh man, well, you know, they, they just imagine like 40
people sitting around in, in hooded robes and they're,
they're chanting in some ancientlanguage.
And you know, a lot of people, especially if you are brought up
like you and I were in a more a Christian home or agnostic home
or whatever. We're kind of told we're kind of
taught to stand away from that stuff.
(02:34):
Don't look at it. It's, it's evil, it's dark, it's
whatever. But really, ritual are those
habits that we do with presence that we do consciously to get
our days going, to empower everything we do with intention,
right? With presence, with purpose.
So that's what we're talking about today.
(02:55):
And it's a lot like when, when you first came to me and, and we
were learning together and it came time to teach you how to be
mindful. And you know, you came to me and
you were you were like, I just, I need to learn how to be more
mindful and need to learn how toslow down and and what kind of
activities did did I suggest to you to do to learn mindfulness
(03:15):
and how to do that? It wasn't like these elaborate 4
hour meditations or anything, right?
What? What?
Were them, they were very practical.
I mean, I remember at that time I was dealing with horrible
rumination. I was coping with a lot of drama
and I was bouncing all over the place.
And I remember you were the first suggestion you had was
mindfulness. And it's like, well, how do I,
how can I be mindful when my mind's going 1,000,000 miles an
(03:37):
hour? You're like, it's simple.
Like when you're washing the dishes, watch the bubbles come
up, watch the water move. You're cooking a steak, watch
how it sweats. Watch how watch the different
things that are going on as it slowly cooks.
Those are things to ground yourself in the present.
Yeah, yeah. Because you, you become present
because you are now consciously making an effort to be aware of
what literally all the things that are happening in front of
(03:59):
you and that serves you in much other in far greater things,
right. I mean, it's, it seems simple
and it seems kind of silly. I know, you know, I've had
people I've talked to about before where they would say
really, the dishes, brushing my teeth.
Yeah, brush your teeth, man. Feel the focus on feeling the,
the brush hitting every part of your mouth.
(04:20):
Not only will your mouth be cleaner, but you'll start to
learn mindfulness, you start to learn presence.
And that's, that's kind of the, the groundwork for doing all
these other other things, especially when you're doing
meditation and prayer and all this other stuff.
So you have to be present, you have to be mindful, you have to
be in the moment. So it is, you know, this ritual
(04:43):
is simply the acts and almost aninstinct we have to weave
meaning into action, meaning into our habits, into our daily
routines. Just change the word routine for
ritual. And once you start looking at it
that way, I promise you, you'll be like, damn, it does feel like
a ritual because I'm doing it. No one else is doing it the same
(05:04):
way I am. I promise you, you're like, if
you watch people or if you just ask somebody, you know, don't be
weird about it, you know, don't be like.
How do you brush your teeth? How do you brush your teeth?
Oh yeah, wow, that's weird. You know, don't do that, but
kind of listen and just see how people, if you live with someone
else, watch how they do things and it'll be totally different.
(05:25):
And so again, this could be simple things, how you make your
coffee, how you journal, how yougiving thanks or saying a prayer
before a meal or whatever it is you do.
If you know anybody who's a gym rat, man, they have all kinds of
rituals before they get to the gym, before they get, when they
get home from the gym, when theygo to the gym, it's crazy.
(05:46):
And they all kind of do different things.
So we're here for two reasons today to empower your life
through turning these habits androutines into intention field,
purposeful movements and actionswhere you are present.
So because the light of creationmeets us where we are, and when
we make a concerted effort to make even the most ordinary acts
(06:07):
intentional, they become gateways to greater peace and
greater presence and greater power in our practice, in our
paths. So the distinction here is it's
not in what you're doing. That's not the important part
here. It's how you go about it and why
you're doing it. So your intention, your purpose.
So, and again, I believe that weare ritual making creatures by
(06:29):
nature. That's what we do.
That's what we do, especially when we get together, you know,
so like before there were temples, before there were any
of that, we would sit in circles, We would, we would sit
in front of fires long before cathedrals.
We had, you know, we would all kind of hold hands and, and give
thanks for meals because meals came hard, right?
(06:50):
It wasn't like I could just go down to, you know, KFC and get a
bucket, you know, for the family.
So, and, and, and none of this was spectacle.
There are some again, that are spectacle, but this is, we're
not talking about spectacle or performance.
It was intention. And when we pour meaning into,
we pour meaning into our actions, our routines, then we
(07:11):
send a message to our being, to our body, to our heart, to our
mind, to our soul. That's what we do matters.
What we do is important. What we do is is necessary for
us because we put our presence and our purpose into it.
Well, and it's just like, I mean, ritual can be some of the
most simple things we have in our lives from our commute to
(07:31):
work. It can be how we how we interact
with our significant other when we come home.
Ritual finds its way to weave itself in our lives.
Our minds are programmed to takethe path of least resistance and
to automate as much of life as possible.
If you're not intentional about it, it will not automate good
systems. There are so many people that
(07:52):
are so scattered and they don't have direction because the
rituals haven't been fine-tuned.There's an amazing book called
Atomic Habits and he talks aboutwhen you want to build habits,
you got to make it routine. You got to make it a ritual.
You got to stack on top of things and have it where it's
the path of least resistance. So it's like if you want to
start going to the gym and you find when you get home you
(08:14):
really don't want to go to the gym, maybe you should take your
gym bag to work and then drive to the gym after work before you
come home. It's finding ways to start
building these rituals in your life that is sustainable and
something you can act on and andworking with yourself because we
are human and we do want the path of least resistance.
We do as you're fond of. What makes this show interesting
(08:36):
is that I come from a Mystic background.
I teach mysticism. Doesn't sound like it all the
time, but I teach mysticism. This is the way of light.
This is everyday mysticism, the things we talked about.
Michael brings a touch of psychology and he helps me
ground this mysticism, which sometimes is woo woo and
(08:56):
sometimes it's kind of floating out here.
He helps bring it down. And I'll, I'll point out to
Michael and to all of you that even science points to why
ritual empowers us, why mindful,mindful, purposeful actions do
that. Because our nervous system
craves predictability, does it not?
(09:17):
When life is chaotic, these repeated purposeful, mindful
actions soothe our anxiety and bring us a sense of Wellness or
a sense of safety or a sense of comfort, whatever it is, our
souls, our beings really, when they're aligned together, crave
meaning. We need it.
(09:38):
How lost do we feel when we don't have these things?
We long to belong to something bigger, but we also long to
anchor our days in purpose because the days are long and
they are many, right? You don't know when they're
going to end, but they, but while we're here, they're,
they're many and they are long. So ritual helps bridge these two
(10:00):
longings to meet back to your example, when, when you, when I
taught you mindfulness, right, your nervous system needed that
predictability because everything was just getting too
chaotic and you needed to wait to slow down and see what's
actually happening in front of you.
So the things we do, this is theway of light.
(10:20):
It is everyday mysticism, practical mysticism, if you
prefer. I've heard it called that
before. It's how we align the physical,
the mental, the spiritual in ourhearts.
So you know, like for example, when you're when you light a
candle before you journal, if you do that, you are declaring,
I am turning toward the light. I am making space for clarity.
(10:41):
May not say it in that way, but you have a reason for lighting a
candle. You have a reason for doing
these different things, these different steps.
And, and it's usually, I'm not just saying, you know, porn,
coffee, sitting down drinking it, but I promise you there are
other steps that you do more than likely every day before you
prepare your coffee, before you sit down, before you read the
(11:02):
Internet paper, whatever. If people still read papers, I
don't know, I don't think there are any grandpas out here still
reading papers. There might be.
Well, and to your point, I mean,there's so much of our lives, I
don't care who's listening. I guarantee you there are things
in your life that are automated when you do it.
What time do you normally have Denver?
What time do you sit down and watch TV?
Is it right after you get home? There's there's routine in
(11:24):
everything we do. It's just as a productive
routine, as a productive ritual.Is it good for you?
Yeah. We're not talking about doing
the the really bad things for yourself, the things that just
damage your body, damage your mind, damage your system.
So again, that's what we're talking about today.
And of course, the ethos and theagreements all tie into this, as
they always do. Love is being present when you
(11:45):
make tea or when you make coffeefor a friend who's weary, or
speak kindness to yourself in the mirror when you're doing
your affirmations. Truth lives in that quiet moment
when you pause and remember and you retrospect about the day
ahead or the day behind you. So let's talk about some rituals
that most of us probably alreadypractice.
Do you? Do you have one?
(12:05):
Do you have one that you think everybody probably does?
Well, I mean the dinner one. That one's for sure.
What time do you have lunch? Do you do breakfast?
Because I bet you you're either someone who does do breakfast or
does not do breakfast, with verylittle in between.
Right, right. Yeah.
So. So let's think about how how
most will start the day. The way we brew coffee or tea.
I brew coffee in my coffee maker, but I'm very purposeful
(12:29):
and very mindful about how I putthe coffee together.
And I do it exactly the same way.
First I I empty out the old, theold grinds and then I turn
around and I get my coffee and Iget my filter and I do and it
sounds very mundane. It's like, of course you do
those things dumb ass, because that's how you make coffee, But
it's the way I do it. And then when I'm waiting for it
(12:51):
to brew, then I go, I come into to this, this office that you
see my little space and I do my daily, I do start my daily
prayers and I start my daily meditations.
Sometimes those are not as elaborate as others because
sometimes I got to get out of the house soon because I
overslept or whatever. But I can tell you when I do
oversleep and it throws that off, then, then I'm upset that I
(13:14):
didn't get to do my watery rituals.
I, I, I get a little upset by that.
And now I'm like, well, this sucks because there's nothing I
can, there's nothing I can move around in my day to fix that
because it's, it's lost, it's gone, right?
And now I'm upset. You know, maybe that's a, that's
a pitfall to, to having a ritualevery morning.
(13:35):
But I know there's nothing evil about this, right?
I mean, we're talking about making coffee, saying some
prayers, doing some meditations on certain days.
I add in my workouts or add in my stretching or I add in other
things. But so my, my point is, you
know, these, these morning things that we do, these
afternoon things to do, these evening things we do.
(13:55):
Maybe you exercise, maybe you journal, maybe you pray,
meditate, maybe, maybe you always have to light a candle in
all the purposeful things you'redoing, journaling and meditating
and praying. I mean, you ever walked into a
church that didn't have a candlelit?
I haven't, you know, you ever walked into a place where where
people are meditating and they usually have some kind of soft
(14:16):
music going somewhere and maybe I'm just hanging out.
The place is no one else is. I don't know.
But it seems to be very specificthings that are being done.
But again, earlier, earlier I called you or I had, I had
Heather text you and say, say I'm going to be late too,
because we were supposed to record this earlier today.
And you're like, oh, good. Now I have time to go do some
R&R and, and go for my, my regular bike ride, right.
(14:40):
So, yeah, families, our familiesand our communities are, are
built on ritual, aren't they? Yeah. 100%.
That you can name a few. That That all of us.
Oh yeah, almost all of us do. Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas,
Christmas time coming together. Yeah, my family does the same
thing every year. It's a family dinner on
Thanksgiving and usually we get together on Christmas Eve and
(15:01):
it's the whole family just sitting there together trying to
do their work or trying to join together.
Right. And we call these things
different words because they make us feel better.
We call them holidays or we callthem or we call them traditions,
or we call them routines becauseof the stigma around the word
ritual. It doesn't matter what you call
it, they're still built on ritual, the ideal of ritual,
(15:23):
right? The repetitive, mindful,
purposeful thing. Birthdays, weddings.
You ever been to a wedding? I went to yours.
And there was many elements of that of that, of those
traditional ritual that was donesince.
And you guys even did a more traditional wedding where you
did the hand and fasting, right?That's really traditional,
(15:45):
right? So birthdays and weddings and
funerals, shared meals, holiday traditions, these aren't just
events, they're containers for us to belong to whatever group
of people that were doing these,these rituals with.
And I know as I'm talking today,I know somebody out there is
just like, I can't believe this son of a gun is, is comparing
(16:06):
what we do our holy things as ritual.
You know what, go to go to a church and they do ritual.
I mean the Lord's Prayer. I mean the Lord's Prayer
communion for those who do communion.
So before you get too upset withme, just give me some grace and,
and you know, just just kind of open your mind to the ideal that
(16:29):
all of these things are based onritual.
And ritual is not a bad word. It's not a bad word.
Hollywood makes ritual scary. But I've never, and I've seen
lots of different ceremonies. I've seen lots of different
traditions. I've seen lots of different
actual rituals. People call them rituals and
none of them were scary. None of them.
(16:50):
So we do these things all the time.
Like, have you ever stopped to think?
Has anybody ever stopped to think why we celebrate birthdays
the way we do? Why do we do that?
That's a good question. I mean, you know, if weddings is
the joining of of two people, right?
Give me a hand. If the if, if weddings are the
(17:12):
bonding between two people, why do we go?
So why, why do we get so weird about it?
And if we just want to, if we just want to share our intention
of we're we're in this together,we're doing it.
You know, we're one, We are now one being, right.
We're two, now we're one. Why go through all this stuff?
Because humans need that, because we need that, because
it's important for us to share these things.
(17:35):
So the truth is rituals already happening.
And again, the difference is, are we doing it with attention
or letting it, as you said earlier, running on autopilot?
Is it just a unconscious habit? Yeah.
So the question is, question is I have for you when we don't
choose our rituals and that may bring us comfort temporarily but
fail to nourish us deeply, right?
(17:56):
Yeah. When we don't, is it really that
important? Is it is it important for us to
build these these rituals and these traditions and routines or
whatever, whatever word makes you happy to use?
Is it important for us to do that long term?
It's vital because I mean, it takes, look at addiction, all
right? It takes that one time doing
that one thing, having that one drink when you're going through
(18:18):
a bad day. Then the next day you're like,
I'm going to try this again. And rituals will rear their ugly
heads if we're not mindful of the habits we are creating.
Right. And like the rituals of
mindfulness for you, you know, they affected you on a very deep
level and they were so simple little stupid things.
So when we don't choose those, when we don't choose our rituals
(18:40):
and our routines and our habits,again, we might find we might
find temporary comfort, but we've but we failed to nourish
the being, the whole thing. But we when we infuse them with
purpose and presence, they transform.
There's an axiom and you can speak to the axiom here.
Nourish the mind, body and spirit with the sustenance of
virtue and righteousness. That axiom ties really good in
(19:03):
here, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, because it's you
will find nourishment one way oranother, but it's up to you to
choose that. You find ones that are going to
benefit you, help you grow, helpyou live a sustainable life.
You know you might like your junk food in the morning, but
you do that continuously for a couple years.
Your health will suffer the consequences.
Yeah, but yeah, because you really need to notice where your
(19:23):
current rituals, routines nourish you and where they don't
truly nourish you, you know? I mean, if I'm starving, can I
eat a candy bar? Will that help me?
Of course it will. Of course it will.
Is it for the moment, though, Right.
Is that something I should eat every day?
No. For every meal you ever seen the
you ever seen the movie Super Size me?
Oh my God, you know, Oh my God, dude, I didn't eat.
(19:47):
I didn't eat at McDonald's for like 2 years after that movie
came out. I've heard that from most people
who've watched it at McDonald's.Sorry I refused to watch it.
Right. Well, I mean, I, I don't eat, I
don't eat a lot of fast food anyway, you know, like, shit,
the our kids never even drank soda in the house growing up.
You know, they had to go to their friend's house for that.
So yeah, you know. Another thing to really be
mindful with rituals is emotional states.
(20:09):
I had a huge epiphany this week in my shadow work where I
realized that my anxiety and catastrophizing that I do more
frequently than I care to admit comes from a place of my mind
trying to find a way to control the unknown.
And so anytime things are stressful or things are going
on, my mind instantly goes to its ritual of, all right, let's
(20:30):
just look at all the worst case outcomes here.
And that way I don't have to worry about not being prepared
for it. And 99% of the time, none of
that ever happens. But that's and it's about
catching the different emotions like depression, the anxiety or
both ritualistic things where when we start feeling the state,
if we don't manage it, we don't learn to control it.
(20:50):
It controls us. Yeah, yes.
So how do we turn these ordinary, these ordinary things,
these ordinary habits or movements that we do every day
into something sacred? This is where the shift.
This is where the shift happens by moving from living by habit
unconsciously to living with intention and purpose and press.
And so it, it doesn't need to bedramatic again, right, to be
(21:13):
powerful. You don't, you don't have to
have incense and candles to, to create a sacred moment, although
there's nothing wrong with you if you do that.
I have, I learned incense behindme here candles too, but I do
them, but I do them ritualistically.
I do them at certain times and, and you know, sometimes I can't
even tell you why. I just, I just feel it and
(21:33):
that's what I do. But I do it like that
consistently. So how do we start turning the
ordinary into something sacred? Well, I think you said the
keyword that's intentionality. You know, look at the routines
and the the rituals. You have that and the
consequences, right? What, what do you want to change
in your life? And as I brought up earlier,
habit stacking, I noticed I was drinking a lot more when I would
(21:54):
have come to my Friday nights because I'd have nothing going
on. And so that was my way to fill
that void. And So what I had to start doing
is I had to start incorporate. I had to plan what am I going to
once this time period rolls around?
Am I going to jump on games? Am I going to play guitar?
Am I going to go out for a walk when I get that itch?
And it's about being intentionalabout what do you want to change
(22:15):
and what do you want to add? And again, habit stacking, it's
one of the greatest skills you can learn.
Because if you, if it's one thing to set a goal, I'm going
to go to the gym. But if you figure out how you
can make that realistic for you,because I mean, I've been there.
I've been like, I'm going to start going to the gym every day
and then I don't go at all. And 9 out of 10, it's because of
where I'm trying to place that in my life.
I'm trying to do it an hour after I get home.
(22:36):
And that's when I'm like, I really don't want to go to the
gym today. But if I take my gym bag to work
and on my way home I stop at thegym, I'm good to go.
I also wanted to start walking more, but again, I'm working 100
hour week. So what do I do?
I now get up at 5:00 in the morning and just like you do,
I'm ritualistic. I make my cup of coffee as it's
brewing, I go and get my shoes on my headphones and I go for a
(22:57):
30 minute walk. And that's just a way for me to
get movement in. But it's about finding the
places where it's easy to stack.Right.
And these are like in these little things could be as simple
as doing a calming breath beforeyou open your laptop in the
morning or before you sit down at at work.
It could be just simply pausing for gratitude before you eat.
You don't have to go into elaborate prayer and you can be
(23:19):
like, so I, I just want to pointsome out here.
I'm not saying that those who doceremonial ritual, there's
anything wrong with that. That stuff is awesome.
I love watching it. I've been a part of, like I said
before, I've been a part of manyof them.
I have incorporated some of those into my practice now.
But again, we're trying to bringthis down to where it's
accessible to all of us because these these things are powerful.
(23:41):
The ceremonial stuff is powerful, but we can bring this,
we can bring that power into oureveryday life, right?
So again, it could be as simple as taking some good breaths
before you answer the phone, especially depending what kind
of work you do. If you're dealing with angry
customers all day, you probably should do a lot of breathing,
right? Yeah.
Being grateful like I do of being grateful before you eat.
(24:03):
That could be that could be simply taking, you know, 10
seconds out of privately on yourown is surrounded by a whole
table full of people and being grateful inside and and you
know, putting that forward, whispering a prayer, whispering
a prayer as you as you blessing things.
Well, one. Of the things I do, just let me
(24:23):
finish real quick. It's easy to bless things.
People think you have to be a priest or some kind of go
through all this elaborate training.
Michael, my brother, I bless youand I hope your day after we
leave together from our family today, I bless you with all the
power in the universe. I bless you.
It is simply that that it's justas simple as that.
(24:44):
So these things are tiny. You don't have to have all these
credentials to be to have powerful interactions and have
powerful effect on people and yourself.
Go ahead. Sorry.
I. Don't know that.
It's a beautiful point. I mean, blessings is one of the
most powerful things you cannot just do for others, but for
yourself. We were, we had an interview
with Courtney just the last episode.
(25:05):
And one of the things we talked about is like the whole thank
you, I forgive you, I forgive, please forgive me.
It's like when we bless those who have done dirty to us, it's
empowering, it's uplifting and it's releasing some of that
energetic charge. Yeah, it was.
I I love you. I forgive you, please forgive
me. You do not have to be a priest
(25:26):
or the right hand of God to do that.
We all have that ability to bless each other, right?
So these small, these small things change everything because
they make that invisible visible, they make the
inevitable real and for us to hold and for us to give to each
(25:47):
other. But it but I will say something
and and you can help me talk about this.
But they but here is something important about this ritual
isn't performance. Nothing we do nothing we teach
on this podcast. We talk about is about
performance, about authenticity.None of this is for show.
It's not about what looks spiritual or trendy.
(26:08):
That's why I said earlier, I'm probably going to lose a few
listeners because it's either not woo woo enough or they heard
the word ritual and went runningfor the hills.
Don't care. I honestly don't care.
When you're ready, you'll come back, right?
The heaven and hell show wasn't about fire and brimstone and
hearts, harps and angels. It was about being connected to
(26:29):
each other, to the universe, to God, to all of creation or
disconnected. And those are different states
of suffering. So you know you'll come back
when you're ready because my, mygoal in this life is to
demystify these things that everybody else is telling you.
You have to go through them to get.
(26:49):
That's not what Jesus taught andassures telling it be what I
taught, what I teach, or what I put forward.
We all have a choice. So this is not about
performance. It's not about for show.
It's not about what looks cool or spiritual or trendy or
whatever. It's about what empowers you and
what empowers you won't always be the thing that empowers me.
(27:12):
And the things I teach and the things I share may not always
empower you, but they are truth.Truth has no regard for
popularity, Probably one of our our most powerful axioms.
Besides the student is the best teacher.
Truth has no regard for popularity.
Being authentic in these practices isn't about impressing
anyone. And as we, we were talking to,
(27:34):
you mentioned Courtney, we talked to Courtney, the show
that's out now. But by the by the time you guys
see this, it had been out probably a week, a week ago.
We're talking about how in these, these these spiritual
circles, especially the more spiritual ones, the religious
ones, there's a lot of spiritualego there.
And everybody's there trying to,we'll say everybody, but it
seems like most people were there trying to impress each
(27:55):
other and stuff like this. When Heather and I and you and
Allison, we went to that full moon ritual with, with the
Saluda ladies. No, no one would.
No one was doing any kind of measuring.
No one was whipping it out and measuring it.
Everybody was there to just flowand to chill, right?
(28:15):
And to learn and to be community.
And it was only like 8 of us, but it was, it was, it felt like
a big community, didn't it? It felt like we were all there
not impress each other, not to perform, not to do anything.
And and those those ladies are so good at it.
Given about who's who knows more, who knows less, it was no
(28:37):
pissing. There was no pissing contest.
Thank you, Heather. Now that we've kind of beat this
thing to death, Michael, about what ritual really is and what
we're trying to accomplish today.
And you know, of course, from our perspective, we like to keep
it light filled right and make sure it it it it always honors
(28:57):
the the ethos love, truth, integrity, connection and
respect for life. Let's talk about creating our
own. The beautiful thing about ritual
was that it doesn't have to be elaborate, it just has to be
intentional. So yeah, here's a simple four
step framework and we'll go. We'll go 1 by 1 here together #1
(29:17):
clarify your intention. What do you want this moment to
hold? Is it peace, gratitude, courage,
whatever? Ritual is simply a vessel for
that intention. And one thing I just want to say
with intention too, especially if you're really wanting to
build a ritual on something, make it specific.
Actionable, right? All right, second step, choose a
meaningful action. Remember, all this stuff is
(29:38):
about purpose, presence and meaning and intention.
So choose a meaningful action. This could be lighting a candle
or doing deep breathing or writing a single line in a
journal, taking a walk, bike ride, even washing your hands as
a clean as an energy cleansing practice.
When you're washing your body inthe shower or bath, you know,
(30:01):
don't just wash the dirt off, wash yourself energetically.
That could be also something youcan do mindfully.
Well, and above all, I think oneof the most important words is
this is action. Don't plan the perfect action
for it. Do the perfect action.
There's a book called The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, and
I love this concept where it's like, if you want to do
something within 5 seconds of having that thought, take
(30:22):
action. Be intentional with that action,
but take action. Do it.
Just do it. Do it.
No, we're not sponsored by Nike,but just do it.
The third thing is you're going to add a symbolic anchor and
that that's just bringing something that helps your body
and spirit, your being. Really remember what you're
doing in your practice here. Could be it could be a specific
(30:45):
stone that you hold in your hand, right?
It could be some more deep breathing or some more
breathing, a sip of tea or goingoutside and closing off with,
you know, feeling the sun on your face, whatever.
These are all for you, you know,up to you.
But make sure that the anchor here is symbolic.
That's important. What kind of symbolic things do
(31:05):
you do that that come to mind? I know before before we ever
record a podcast, I always do a meditation beforehand.
Another place I incorporate meditation because meditation is
so powerful is I get to work 10 minutes early every day.
And I set this thing called an insight timer that has three
bell, 2 bells that go off. And so my first 3 seconds of our
first 3 minutes of my meditationis grounded in gratitude or is
(31:29):
it's in grounding. So I just try to make myself
come to the present, notice the sensations, the seat underneath
me, the clothes I'm wearing. Then for the next 3 minutes I do
gratitude and I focus on everything I'm thankful for,
whether it's just having a roof over my head and power in the
walls. And then the last four minutes I
spend and visualizing what I want to accomplish that day and
(31:52):
in my life. And I use it as a great time to
just get in line with my dreams,my aspirations and my higher
self. Good, good stuff.
So again, clarify your intention.
Choose meaningful action. And that's just action that that
has holds powerful meaning for you.
Doesn't have to be anything elseanybody else does.
And add a symbolic anchor. Something something to make a
(32:16):
note of. Here though, you need to keep it
simple and keep it repeatable. It has to be simple and
repeatable. Complexity.
Complexity isn't necessarily power, and it.
Can definitely derail starting aritual because the more complex
it is. Right, Yeah, I mean, if if you
ever do, if you ever practice ceremonial magic is super, super
(32:38):
complex. That's why most people just, you
know, stop. It's it's very difficult, but
the more practical, the better, the more consistent, the better.
Consistency is where the power is here, not not in its
complexity. It doesn't have to be.
It shouldn't be ever be hard to do.
And you know, like I said, like you were just saying, you take
10 minutes, you know, one honestminute done regularly,
(32:59):
consistently, mindfully printed and with presence nourishes you
far more than any complicated ceremony done one time.
So any closing thoughts today for the show?
One of the biggest traps of starting a new ritual is trying
to start a lot of new rituals inthe book Atomic Habits.
I love how he brings this up. Start with one or two.
Do not do more than that, especially if it's something big
(33:22):
like going to the gym or trying to quit a bad habit.
And when you go to try to replace those bad habits, find
something to replace them with, because that void will suck you
right back into them. So that's really the one piece
of guidance I want to give them.Be patient with yourself.
It might look messy at first, but the more you practice, the
more you show up, the more you're going to see change, and
(33:43):
the more these rituals would become a part of your daily
life. Yeah.
And remember, you're not doing these to perform.
These are for you. So, you know, no judgement on
how you do it or, or what you actually do or why you're doing
them. Those are those are questions
for you. Those are those are your things.
Yeah. We just want to give you kind
of, you know, some easy ways to do it.
(34:04):
Yeah, one thing I love how he references in the book is like
going to the gym. Don't even focus on getting into
the gym. Make your first time going just
pulling up in the parking lot and walking in the doors.
Next time make it pulling up, walking through the doors and
walking past the equipment. Then let it be a 5 minute walk
on the treadmill. But just start small and build
the momentum. I look at momentum as you push
(34:25):
something uphill first before itstarts rolling down the hill.
And the more you push it uphill,the more momentum it'll get on
the other side. Yeah.
You know, it's, it's difficult to pair the supernatural with
the mundane, with everyday life and the way to bridge those
things because there's a lot of supernatural in this world.
Even a Christian would tell you that, right?
I have a pastor that I talked towho's a friend of mine, and we
(34:47):
talk about the supernatural stuff a lot.
But you know, it's in these small, quiet, simple things that
we do for ourselves with presence, with purpose, with
intention that bridge these gapsand really help us become more
in alignment with the things we want and more resonant with the
things that we're trying to accomplish.
So before we get into our affirmations and journals and
(35:09):
stuff today, let's pray. Source of all that is holy and
alive and all of creation. I stand at the threshold of the
unseen and the everyday. Today I remember the sacredness
is not far away. It is woven into the breath I
take, the steps I walk, the loveI give and receive.
I release the belief that ritualis strange or fearful.
(35:31):
I claim the truth of your existence and the ancient wisdom
already alive within me. The human impulse to honor, to
connect, to create meaning. Every action when chosen with
love becomes a prayer. Every word, when rooted in
truth, becomes a blessing. May love infuse my daily
rhythms. May truth guide the rituals I
(35:51):
choose. May my outer actions reflect the
integrity of my soul. May connection bind me to all of
creation and to the light itself.
May I remember the sanctity of life, treating every moment as
holy ground. I bless my routines, the first
sip of water in the morning, thequiet before sleep, the hands
that work and the heart that helps.
I bless my prayers, my meditations, my pauses to
(36:13):
breathe and notice the beauty within all.
May these simple acts be Shieldsof peace and bridges to the to
the divine. And when I create new rituals,
let them come from light and serve light.
Keep me safe from fear, super superstition and harm.
Root me in clarity, joy and reverence.
(36:34):
Today I walk as a conscious keeper of sacred rhythm.
My life itself is a temple. My actions living prayers.
So it is, and may it always be. Amen.
Our affirmations for today. I bring in tension and light
into my daily actions. My life is already filled with
sacred rhythms and I honor them.I create rituals that ground,
(36:57):
protect, and connect me. I walk in truth and integrity,
free from fear or superstition. My ordinary life is a holy place
where the light of creation dwells in.
Our journaling prompts What everyday actions already bring
me comfort or meaning? How might I deepen, deepen their
significance? Where am I moving on autopilot,
and how can I? How could I infuse intention
(37:19):
there? What small daily ritual could
help me feel more connected to myself, others, or the light of
creation? When have I felt safe and at
peace and routine? What made it feel sacred?
And are there any patterns I want to release because they
drain or numb me rather than nourish me?
So again, ritual isn't scary, it's not spooky, and it's not
(37:40):
rare. We all do it.
It's not locked away in temples or reserved for special people.
It's already living inside of you.
The question has never been if you practice ritual, but how you
practice it. Every action can be just another
motion or it can be a moment of connection.
A sip of water can be hydration and hydration only, or it could
(38:02):
be hydration and gratitude lighting.
Lighting a candle can be just for for light or for warmth, or
it could also be a quiet declaration that you choose
light over fear. Even walking through the leaves
in autumn this time of year can become prayer when you decide to
move with intention. So the ethos call us here to
(38:26):
bring love, to bring kindness toour daily rhythms, truth to live
without pretending or performingintegrity to align our action
actions with our being, mind, body, spirit, heart, connection.
To remember you belong to creation and to the people
around you, the sanctity of life, to treat every moment as
(38:48):
holy and as holy ground. So here's your here's my
invitation to you. Choose one action today and make
it sacred. One breath before you open your
phone or laptop. One blessing before you eat. 1
candle for gratitude. Just one little act done with
intention can change the whole entire universe for you, one at
(39:11):
a time. You don't need permission.
This is the most important thingI want to leave with all of you
today. You don't need permission.
You don't need credentials. You don't need any elaborate or
ancient or fancy sacred tools. You are the tool.
You are the one that gives yourself permission.
(39:32):
You have all the credentials youneed infused in you before you
were born, right? So bring that stuff.
Remember who you are. Bring that.
Bring that that into your everyday life and watch how the
ordinary and if you guys are feel led to share your
(39:53):
experience. Tell a friend, tell your
mentors, tell whoever of what you did and how it worked for
you. Post about it.
Tag and tag this show so we can see what you're doing too.
Not because we're watching you, but because we want to see how
you guys are doing. We don't ever hear from you
guys. We love you guys.
So you know, we want to see how you're doing and if there's
(40:14):
anywhere we can help you, we're happy to.
So just remember, sharing our light doesn't.
To others doesn't diminish our own.
The light, it doesn't go. You can't dim it by sharing it.
It just makes the whole path brighter for all of us, right?
So and one other thing, you don't have to do these things
with perfection. As Michael said earlier, just do
(40:37):
it. Just freaking do it with
intention and purpose. Thank you so much for joining us
today, Michael. Thank you so much for being
here, Heather. Thanks for being and hanging out
behind me and breathing on my neck or whatever you were doing
over here. Make sure to check out our our
socials, check out our web page,new ashley.com.
And till next time with love andgravity, gravity of the
(40:58):
situation. With love and gratitude.
Add Lucium. Add Lucium.
The hidden power of ritual. You ever notice how you start
your morning? The small sequence you follow
before the day actually begins? Your coffee's your coffee, your
tea is poured, your candles are lit.
Maybe a moment of quiet or introspection or prayer before
the world rushes in around you. We rarely think of these things
as ritual, but they are. I'm Justin Gates, and welcome to
(00:22):
the new Ashland Podcast. Hello and welcome to the new
Asheville Podcasts. I'm your host, Justin Gates, and
joining me today is my boy, Michael Perry.
Hey fam. Hiding behind me is Heather.
Here We. Go.
(00:44):
I wasn't lying to you. Today we're going to talk about
ritual and I know for some of you this is going to be, you're
going to be like, what do you mean rituals?
You know, we lost like 6 listeners because of the Heaven
and hell show because they probably didn't actually listen
to it. But I promised you today, this
topic isn't going to be spooky or devil worshipping or whatever
kind of thing that you think ritual actually is, because it
(01:06):
probably isn't. That ritual isn't spooky.
It isn't reserved for those, forthe temples or the robes or
these ancient chants. They can be and they are.
But we're coming at this from a more grounded and down to earth
understanding ritual today. Michael, when you hear about the
word ritual, what do you think? What do you think, people?
I know for me, I mean, when you suggested this episode, I was
(01:27):
like, what tangent is he going down?
And I had to wait till you had your show notes to be like, OK,
cool. We're on the same page with this
because man, ritual to me is oneof the most pivotal pieces to a
successful and productive life. But when I first hear when I
first, whenever I hear the term ritual, my mind automatically
goes to the people in the robes or different ceremonies going
(01:48):
on. Right, which some of those are
really cool to watch and they'rereally cool to participate in.
But this is not what we're talking about because that stuff
is more ceremonial. It's more performance than it is
day-to-day, empowering your life, right.
And this is what we're talking about South.
And let's dispel the ugliness around the word ritual.
So like most people that I know when I talk about ritual, they
(02:12):
think, oh man, well, you know, they, they just imagine like 40
people sitting around in, in hooded robes and they're,
they're chanting in some ancientlanguage.
And you know, a lot of people, especially if you are brought up
like you and I were in a more a Christian home or agnostic home
or whatever. We're kind of told we're kind of
taught to stand away from that stuff.
(02:34):
Don't look at it. It's, it's evil, it's dark, it's
whatever. But really, ritual are those
habits that we do with presence that we do consciously to get
our days going, to empower everything we do with intention,
right? With presence, with purpose.
So that's what we're talking about today.
(02:55):
And it's a lot like when, when you first came to me and, and we
were learning together and it came time to teach you how to be
mindful. And you know, you came to me and
you were you were like, I just, I need to learn how to be more
mindful and need to learn how toslow down and and what kind of
activities did did I suggest to you to do to learn mindfulness
(03:15):
and how to do that? It wasn't like these elaborate 4
hour meditations or anything, right?
What? What?
Were them, they were very practical.
I mean, I remember at that time I was dealing with horrible
rumination. I was coping with a lot of drama
and I was bouncing all over the place.
And I remember you were the first suggestion you had was
mindfulness. And it's like, well, how do I,
how can I be mindful when my mind's going 1,000,000 miles an
(03:37):
hour? You're like, it's simple.
Like when you're washing the dishes, watch the bubbles come
up, watch the water move. You're cooking a steak, watch
how it sweats. Watch how watch the different
things that are going on as it slowly cooks.
Those are things to ground yourself in the present.
Yeah, yeah. Because you, you become present
because you are now consciously making an effort to be aware of
what literally all the things that are happening in front of
(03:59):
you and that serves you in much other in far greater things,
right. I mean, it's, it seems simple
and it seems kind of silly. I know, you know, I've had
people I've talked to about before where they would say
really, the dishes, brushing my teeth.
Yeah, brush your teeth, man. Feel the focus on feeling the,
the brush hitting every part of your mouth.
(04:20):
Not only will your mouth be cleaner, but you'll start to
learn mindfulness, you start to learn presence.
And that's, that's kind of the, the groundwork for doing all
these other other things, especially when you're doing
meditation and prayer and all this other stuff.
So you have to be present, you have to be mindful, you have to
be in the moment. So it is, you know, this ritual
(04:43):
is simply the acts and almost aninstinct we have to weave
meaning into action, meaning into our habits, into our daily
routines. Just change the word routine for
ritual. And once you start looking at it
that way, I promise you, you'll be like, damn, it does feel like
a ritual because I'm doing it. No one else is doing it the same
(05:04):
way I am. I promise you, you're like, if
you watch people or if you just ask somebody, you know, don't be
weird about it, you know, don't be like.
How do you brush your teeth? How do you brush your teeth?
Oh yeah, wow, that's weird. You know, don't do that, but
kind of listen and just see how people, if you live with someone
else, watch how they do things and it'll be totally different.
(05:25):
And so again, this could be simple things, how you make your
coffee, how you journal, how yougiving thanks or saying a prayer
before a meal or whatever it is you do.
If you know anybody who's a gym rat, man, they have all kinds of
rituals before they get to the gym, before they get, when they
get home from the gym, when theygo to the gym, it's crazy.
(05:46):
And they all kind of do different things.
So we're here for two reasons today to empower your life
through turning these habits androutines into intention field,
purposeful movements and actionswhere you are present.
So because the light of creationmeets us where we are, and when
we make a concerted effort to make even the most ordinary acts
(06:07):
intentional, they become gateways to greater peace and
greater presence and greater power in our practice, in our
paths. So the distinction here is it's
not in what you're doing. That's not the important part
here. It's how you go about it and why
you're doing it. So your intention, your purpose.
So, and again, I believe that weare ritual making creatures by
(06:29):
nature. That's what we do.
That's what we do, especially when we get together, you know,
so like before there were temples, before there were any
of that, we would sit in circles, We would, we would sit
in front of fires long before cathedrals.
We had, you know, we would all kind of hold hands and, and give
thanks for meals because meals came hard, right?
(06:50):
It wasn't like I could just go down to, you know, KFC and get a
bucket, you know, for the family.
So, and, and, and none of this was spectacle.
There are some again, that are spectacle, but this is, we're
not talking about spectacle or performance.
It was intention. And when we pour meaning into,
we pour meaning into our actions, our routines, then we
(07:11):
send a message to our being, to our body, to our heart, to our
mind, to our soul. That's what we do matters.
What we do is important. What we do is is necessary for
us because we put our presence and our purpose into it.
Well, and it's just like, I mean, ritual can be some of the
most simple things we have in our lives from our commute to
(07:31):
work. It can be how we how we interact
with our significant other when we come home.
Ritual finds its way to weave itself in our lives.
Our minds are programmed to takethe path of least resistance and
to automate as much of life as possible.
If you're not intentional about it, it will not automate good
systems. There are so many people that
(07:52):
are so scattered and they don't have direction because the
rituals haven't been fine-tuned.There's an amazing book called
Atomic Habits and he talks aboutwhen you want to build habits,
you got to make it routine. You got to make it a ritual.
You got to stack on top of things and have it where it's
the path of least resistance. So it's like if you want to
start going to the gym and you find when you get home you
(08:14):
really don't want to go to the gym, maybe you should take your
gym bag to work and then drive to the gym after work before you
come home. It's finding ways to start
building these rituals in your life that is sustainable and
something you can act on and andworking with yourself because we
are human and we do want the path of least resistance.
We do as you're fond of. What makes this show interesting
(08:36):
is that I come from a Mystic background.
I teach mysticism. Doesn't sound like it all the
time, but I teach mysticism. This is the way of light.
This is everyday mysticism, the things we talked about.
Michael brings a touch of psychology and he helps me
ground this mysticism, which sometimes is woo woo and
(08:56):
sometimes it's kind of floating out here.
He helps bring it down. And I'll, I'll point out to
Michael and to all of you that even science points to why
ritual empowers us, why mindful,mindful, purposeful actions do
that. Because our nervous system
craves predictability, does it not?
(09:17):
When life is chaotic, these repeated purposeful, mindful
actions soothe our anxiety and bring us a sense of Wellness or
a sense of safety or a sense of comfort, whatever it is, our
souls, our beings really, when they're aligned together, crave
meaning. We need it.
(09:38):
How lost do we feel when we don't have these things?
We long to belong to something bigger, but we also long to
anchor our days in purpose because the days are long and
they are many, right? You don't know when they're
going to end, but they, but while we're here, they're,
they're many and they are long. So ritual helps bridge these two
(10:00):
longings to meet back to your example, when, when you, when I
taught you mindfulness, right, your nervous system needed that
predictability because everything was just getting too
chaotic and you needed to wait to slow down and see what's
actually happening in front of you.
So the things we do, this is theway of light.
(10:20):
It is everyday mysticism, practical mysticism, if you
prefer. I've heard it called that
before. It's how we align the physical,
the mental, the spiritual in ourhearts.
So you know, like for example, when you're when you light a
candle before you journal, if you do that, you are declaring,
I am turning toward the light. I am making space for clarity.
(10:41):
May not say it in that way, but you have a reason for lighting a
candle. You have a reason for doing
these different things, these different steps.
And, and it's usually, I'm not just saying, you know, porn,
coffee, sitting down drinking it, but I promise you there are
other steps that you do more than likely every day before you
prepare your coffee, before you sit down, before you read the
(11:02):
Internet paper, whatever. If people still read papers, I
don't know, I don't think there are any grandpas out here still
reading papers. There might be.
Well, and to your point, I mean,there's so much of our lives, I
don't care who's listening. I guarantee you there are things
in your life that are automated when you do it.
What time do you normally have Denver?
What time do you sit down and watch TV?
Is it right after you get home? There's there's routine in
(11:24):
everything we do. It's just as a productive
routine, as a productive ritual.Is it good for you?
Yeah. We're not talking about doing
the the really bad things for yourself, the things that just
damage your body, damage your mind, damage your system.
So again, that's what we're talking about today.
And of course, the ethos and theagreements all tie into this, as
they always do. Love is being present when you
(11:45):
make tea or when you make coffeefor a friend who's weary, or
speak kindness to yourself in the mirror when you're doing
your affirmations. Truth lives in that quiet moment
when you pause and remember and you retrospect about the day
ahead or the day behind you. So let's talk about some rituals
that most of us probably alreadypractice.
Do you? Do you have one?
(12:05):
Do you have one that you think everybody probably does?
Well, I mean the dinner one. That one's for sure.
What time do you have lunch? Do you do breakfast?
Because I bet you you're either someone who does do breakfast or
does not do breakfast, with verylittle in between.
Right, right. Yeah.
So. So let's think about how how
most will start the day. The way we brew coffee or tea.
I brew coffee in my coffee maker, but I'm very purposeful
(12:29):
and very mindful about how I putthe coffee together.
And I do it exactly the same way.
First I I empty out the old, theold grinds and then I turn
around and I get my coffee and Iget my filter and I do and it
sounds very mundane. It's like, of course you do
those things dumb ass, because that's how you make coffee, But
it's the way I do it. And then when I'm waiting for it
(12:51):
to brew, then I go, I come into to this, this office that you
see my little space and I do my daily, I do start my daily
prayers and I start my daily meditations.
Sometimes those are not as elaborate as others because
sometimes I got to get out of the house soon because I
overslept or whatever. But I can tell you when I do
oversleep and it throws that off, then, then I'm upset that I
(13:14):
didn't get to do my watery rituals.
I, I, I get a little upset by that.
And now I'm like, well, this sucks because there's nothing I
can, there's nothing I can move around in my day to fix that
because it's, it's lost, it's gone, right?
And now I'm upset. You know, maybe that's a, that's
a pitfall to, to having a ritualevery morning.
(13:35):
But I know there's nothing evil about this, right?
I mean, we're talking about making coffee, saying some
prayers, doing some meditations on certain days.
I add in my workouts or add in my stretching or I add in other
things. But so my, my point is, you
know, these, these morning things that we do, these
afternoon things to do, these evening things we do.
(13:55):
Maybe you exercise, maybe you journal, maybe you pray,
meditate, maybe, maybe you always have to light a candle in
all the purposeful things you'redoing, journaling and meditating
and praying. I mean, you ever walked into a
church that didn't have a candlelit?
I haven't, you know, you ever walked into a place where where
people are meditating and they usually have some kind of soft
(14:16):
music going somewhere and maybe I'm just hanging out.
The place is no one else is. I don't know.
But it seems to be very specificthings that are being done.
But again, earlier, earlier I called you or I had, I had
Heather text you and say, say I'm going to be late too,
because we were supposed to record this earlier today.
And you're like, oh, good. Now I have time to go do some
R&R and, and go for my, my regular bike ride, right.
(14:40):
So, yeah, families, our familiesand our communities are, are
built on ritual, aren't they? Yeah. 100%.
That you can name a few. That That all of us.
Oh yeah, almost all of us do. Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas,
Christmas time coming together. Yeah, my family does the same
thing every year. It's a family dinner on
Thanksgiving and usually we get together on Christmas Eve and
(15:01):
it's the whole family just sitting there together trying to
do their work or trying to join together.
Right. And we call these things
different words because they make us feel better.
We call them holidays or we callthem or we call them traditions,
or we call them routines becauseof the stigma around the word
ritual. It doesn't matter what you call
it, they're still built on ritual, the ideal of ritual,
(15:23):
right? The repetitive, mindful,
purposeful thing. Birthdays, weddings.
You ever been to a wedding? I went to yours.
And there was many elements of that of that, of those
traditional ritual that was donesince.
And you guys even did a more traditional wedding where you
did the hand and fasting, right?That's really traditional,
(15:45):
right? So birthdays and weddings and
funerals, shared meals, holiday traditions, these aren't just
events, they're containers for us to belong to whatever group
of people that were doing these,these rituals with.
And I know as I'm talking today,I know somebody out there is
just like, I can't believe this son of a gun is, is comparing
(16:06):
what we do our holy things as ritual.
You know what, go to go to a church and they do ritual.
I mean the Lord's Prayer. I mean the Lord's Prayer
communion for those who do communion.
So before you get too upset withme, just give me some grace and,
and you know, just just kind of open your mind to the ideal that
(16:29):
all of these things are based onritual.
And ritual is not a bad word. It's not a bad word.
Hollywood makes ritual scary. But I've never, and I've seen
lots of different ceremonies. I've seen lots of different
traditions. I've seen lots of different
actual rituals. People call them rituals and
none of them were scary. None of them.
(16:50):
So we do these things all the time.
Like, have you ever stopped to think?
Has anybody ever stopped to think why we celebrate birthdays
the way we do? Why do we do that?
That's a good question. I mean, you know, if weddings is
the joining of of two people, right?
Give me a hand. If the if, if weddings are the
(17:12):
bonding between two people, why do we go?
So why, why do we get so weird about it?
And if we just want to, if we just want to share our intention
of we're we're in this together,we're doing it.
You know, we're one, We are now one being, right.
We're two, now we're one. Why go through all this stuff?
Because humans need that, because we need that, because
it's important for us to share these things.
(17:35):
So the truth is rituals already happening.
And again, the difference is, are we doing it with attention
or letting it, as you said earlier, running on autopilot?
Is it just a unconscious habit? Yeah.
So the question is, question is I have for you when we don't
choose our rituals and that may bring us comfort temporarily but
fail to nourish us deeply, right?
(17:56):
Yeah. When we don't, is it really that
important? Is it is it important for us to
build these these rituals and these traditions and routines or
whatever, whatever word makes you happy to use?
Is it important for us to do that long term?
It's vital because I mean, it takes, look at addiction, all
right? It takes that one time doing
that one thing, having that one drink when you're going through
(18:18):
a bad day. Then the next day you're like,
I'm going to try this again. And rituals will rear their ugly
heads if we're not mindful of the habits we are creating.
Right. And like the rituals of
mindfulness for you, you know, they affected you on a very deep
level and they were so simple little stupid things.
So when we don't choose those, when we don't choose our rituals
(18:40):
and our routines and our habits,again, we might find we might
find temporary comfort, but we've but we failed to nourish
the being, the whole thing. But we when we infuse them with
purpose and presence, they transform.
There's an axiom and you can speak to the axiom here.
Nourish the mind, body and spirit with the sustenance of
virtue and righteousness. That axiom ties really good in
(19:03):
here, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, because it's you
will find nourishment one way oranother, but it's up to you to
choose that. You find ones that are going to
benefit you, help you grow, helpyou live a sustainable life.
You know you might like your junk food in the morning, but
you do that continuously for a couple years.
Your health will suffer the consequences.
Yeah, but yeah, because you really need to notice where your
(19:23):
current rituals, routines nourish you and where they don't
truly nourish you, you know? I mean, if I'm starving, can I
eat a candy bar? Will that help me?
Of course it will. Of course it will.
Is it for the moment, though, Right.
Is that something I should eat every day?
No. For every meal you ever seen the
you ever seen the movie Super Size me?
Oh my God, you know, Oh my God, dude, I didn't eat.
(19:47):
I didn't eat at McDonald's for like 2 years after that movie
came out. I've heard that from most people
who've watched it at McDonald's.Sorry I refused to watch it.
Right. Well, I mean, I, I don't eat, I
don't eat a lot of fast food anyway, you know, like, shit,
the our kids never even drank soda in the house growing up.
You know, they had to go to their friend's house for that.
So yeah, you know. Another thing to really be
mindful with rituals is emotional states.
(20:09):
I had a huge epiphany this week in my shadow work where I
realized that my anxiety and catastrophizing that I do more
frequently than I care to admit comes from a place of my mind
trying to find a way to control the unknown.
And so anytime things are stressful or things are going
on, my mind instantly goes to its ritual of, all right, let's
(20:30):
just look at all the worst case outcomes here.
And that way I don't have to worry about not being prepared
for it. And 99% of the time, none of
that ever happens. But that's and it's about
catching the different emotions like depression, the anxiety or
both ritualistic things where when we start feeling the state,
if we don't manage it, we don't learn to control it.
(20:50):
It controls us. Yeah, yes.
So how do we turn these ordinary, these ordinary things,
these ordinary habits or movements that we do every day
into something sacred? This is where the shift.
This is where the shift happens by moving from living by habit
unconsciously to living with intention and purpose and press.
And so it, it doesn't need to bedramatic again, right, to be
(21:13):
powerful. You don't, you don't have to
have incense and candles to, to create a sacred moment, although
there's nothing wrong with you if you do that.
I have, I learned incense behindme here candles too, but I do
them, but I do them ritualistically.
I do them at certain times and, and you know, sometimes I can't
even tell you why. I just, I just feel it and
(21:33):
that's what I do. But I do it like that
consistently. So how do we start turning the
ordinary into something sacred? Well, I think you said the
keyword that's intentionality. You know, look at the routines
and the the rituals. You have that and the
consequences, right? What, what do you want to change
in your life? And as I brought up earlier,
habit stacking, I noticed I was drinking a lot more when I would
(21:54):
have come to my Friday nights because I'd have nothing going
on. And so that was my way to fill
that void. And So what I had to start doing
is I had to start incorporate. I had to plan what am I going to
once this time period rolls around?
Am I going to jump on games? Am I going to play guitar?
Am I going to go out for a walk when I get that itch?
And it's about being intentionalabout what do you want to change
(22:15):
and what do you want to add? And again, habit stacking, it's
one of the greatest skills you can learn.
Because if you, if it's one thing to set a goal, I'm going
to go to the gym. But if you figure out how you
can make that realistic for you,because I mean, I've been there.
I've been like, I'm going to start going to the gym every day
and then I don't go at all. And 9 out of 10, it's because of
where I'm trying to place that in my life.
I'm trying to do it an hour after I get home.
(22:36):
And that's when I'm like, I really don't want to go to the
gym today. But if I take my gym bag to work
and on my way home I stop at thegym, I'm good to go.
I also wanted to start walking more, but again, I'm working 100
hour week. So what do I do?
I now get up at 5:00 in the morning and just like you do,
I'm ritualistic. I make my cup of coffee as it's
brewing, I go and get my shoes on my headphones and I go for a
(22:57):
30 minute walk. And that's just a way for me to
get movement in. But it's about finding the
places where it's easy to stack.Right.
And these are like in these little things could be as simple
as doing a calming breath beforeyou open your laptop in the
morning or before you sit down at at work.
It could be just simply pausing for gratitude before you eat.
You don't have to go into elaborate prayer and you can be
(23:19):
like, so I, I just want to pointsome out here.
I'm not saying that those who doceremonial ritual, there's
anything wrong with that. That stuff is awesome.
I love watching it. I've been a part of, like I said
before, I've been a part of manyof them.
I have incorporated some of those into my practice now.
But again, we're trying to bringthis down to where it's
accessible to all of us because these these things are powerful.
(23:41):
The ceremonial stuff is powerful, but we can bring this,
we can bring that power into oureveryday life, right?
So again, it could be as simple as taking some good breaths
before you answer the phone, especially depending what kind
of work you do. If you're dealing with angry
customers all day, you probably should do a lot of breathing,
right? Yeah.
Being grateful like I do of being grateful before you eat.
(24:03):
That could be that could be simply taking, you know, 10
seconds out of privately on yourown is surrounded by a whole
table full of people and being grateful inside and and you
know, putting that forward, whispering a prayer, whispering
a prayer as you as you blessing things.
Well, one. Of the things I do, just let me
(24:23):
finish real quick. It's easy to bless things.
People think you have to be a priest or some kind of go
through all this elaborate training.
Michael, my brother, I bless youand I hope your day after we
leave together from our family today, I bless you with all the
power in the universe. I bless you.
It is simply that that it's justas simple as that.
(24:44):
So these things are tiny. You don't have to have all these
credentials to be to have powerful interactions and have
powerful effect on people and yourself.
Go ahead. Sorry.
I. Don't know that.
It's a beautiful point. I mean, blessings is one of the
most powerful things you cannot just do for others, but for
yourself. We were, we had an interview
with Courtney just the last episode.
(25:05):
And one of the things we talked about is like the whole thank
you, I forgive you, I forgive, please forgive me.
It's like when we bless those who have done dirty to us, it's
empowering, it's uplifting and it's releasing some of that
energetic charge. Yeah, it was.
I I love you. I forgive you, please forgive
me. You do not have to be a priest
(25:26):
or the right hand of God to do that.
We all have that ability to bless each other, right?
So these small, these small things change everything because
they make that invisible visible, they make the
inevitable real and for us to hold and for us to give to each
(25:47):
other. But it but I will say something
and and you can help me talk about this.
But they but here is something important about this ritual
isn't performance. Nothing we do nothing we teach
on this podcast. We talk about is about
performance, about authenticity.None of this is for show.
It's not about what looks spiritual or trendy.
(26:08):
That's why I said earlier, I'm probably going to lose a few
listeners because it's either not woo woo enough or they heard
the word ritual and went runningfor the hills.
Don't care. I honestly don't care.
When you're ready, you'll come back, right?
The heaven and hell show wasn't about fire and brimstone and
hearts, harps and angels. It was about being connected to
(26:29):
each other, to the universe, to God, to all of creation or
disconnected. And those are different states
of suffering. So you know you'll come back
when you're ready because my, mygoal in this life is to
demystify these things that everybody else is telling you.
You have to go through them to get.
(26:49):
That's not what Jesus taught andassures telling it be what I
taught, what I teach, or what I put forward.
We all have a choice. So this is not about
performance. It's not about for show.
It's not about what looks cool or spiritual or trendy or
whatever. It's about what empowers you and
what empowers you won't always be the thing that empowers me.
(27:12):
And the things I teach and the things I share may not always
empower you, but they are truth.Truth has no regard for
popularity, Probably one of our our most powerful axioms.
Besides the student is the best teacher.
Truth has no regard for popularity.
Being authentic in these practices isn't about impressing
anyone. And as we, we were talking to,
(27:34):
you mentioned Courtney, we talked to Courtney, the show
that's out now. But by the by the time you guys
see this, it had been out probably a week, a week ago.
We're talking about how in these, these these spiritual
circles, especially the more spiritual ones, the religious
ones, there's a lot of spiritualego there.
And everybody's there trying to,we'll say everybody, but it
seems like most people were there trying to impress each
(27:55):
other and stuff like this. When Heather and I and you and
Allison, we went to that full moon ritual with, with the
Saluda ladies. No, no one would.
No one was doing any kind of measuring.
No one was whipping it out and measuring it.
Everybody was there to just flowand to chill, right?
(28:15):
And to learn and to be community.
And it was only like 8 of us, but it was, it was, it felt like
a big community, didn't it? It felt like we were all there
not impress each other, not to perform, not to do anything.
And and those those ladies are so good at it.
Given about who's who knows more, who knows less, it was no
(28:37):
pissing. There was no pissing contest.
Thank you, Heather. Now that we've kind of beat this
thing to death, Michael, about what ritual really is and what
we're trying to accomplish today.
And you know, of course, from our perspective, we like to keep
it light filled right and make sure it it it it always honors
(28:57):
the the ethos love, truth, integrity, connection and
respect for life. Let's talk about creating our
own. The beautiful thing about ritual
was that it doesn't have to be elaborate, it just has to be
intentional. So yeah, here's a simple four
step framework and we'll go. We'll go 1 by 1 here together #1
(29:17):
clarify your intention. What do you want this moment to
hold? Is it peace, gratitude, courage,
whatever? Ritual is simply a vessel for
that intention. And one thing I just want to say
with intention too, especially if you're really wanting to
build a ritual on something, make it specific.
Actionable, right? All right, second step, choose a
meaningful action. Remember, all this stuff is
(29:38):
about purpose, presence and meaning and intention.
So choose a meaningful action. This could be lighting a candle
or doing deep breathing or writing a single line in a
journal, taking a walk, bike ride, even washing your hands as
a clean as an energy cleansing practice.
When you're washing your body inthe shower or bath, you know,
(30:01):
don't just wash the dirt off, wash yourself energetically.
That could be also something youcan do mindfully.
Well, and above all, I think oneof the most important words is
this is action. Don't plan the perfect action
for it. Do the perfect action.
There's a book called The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, and
I love this concept where it's like, if you want to do
something within 5 seconds of having that thought, take
(30:22):
action. Be intentional with that action,
but take action. Do it.
Just do it. Do it.
No, we're not sponsored by Nike,but just do it.
The third thing is you're going to add a symbolic anchor and
that that's just bringing something that helps your body
and spirit, your being. Really remember what you're
doing in your practice here. Could be it could be a specific
(30:45):
stone that you hold in your hand, right?
It could be some more deep breathing or some more
breathing, a sip of tea or goingoutside and closing off with,
you know, feeling the sun on your face, whatever.
These are all for you, you know,up to you.
But make sure that the anchor here is symbolic.
That's important. What kind of symbolic things do
(31:05):
you do that that come to mind? I know before before we ever
record a podcast, I always do a meditation beforehand.
Another place I incorporate meditation because meditation is
so powerful is I get to work 10 minutes early every day.
And I set this thing called an insight timer that has three
bell, 2 bells that go off. And so my first 3 seconds of our
first 3 minutes of my meditationis grounded in gratitude or is
(31:29):
it's in grounding. So I just try to make myself
come to the present, notice the sensations, the seat underneath
me, the clothes I'm wearing. Then for the next 3 minutes I do
gratitude and I focus on everything I'm thankful for,
whether it's just having a roof over my head and power in the
walls. And then the last four minutes I
spend and visualizing what I want to accomplish that day and
(31:52):
in my life. And I use it as a great time to
just get in line with my dreams,my aspirations and my higher
self. Good, good stuff.
So again, clarify your intention.
Choose meaningful action. And that's just action that that
has holds powerful meaning for you.
Doesn't have to be anything elseanybody else does.
And add a symbolic anchor. Something something to make a
(32:16):
note of. Here though, you need to keep it
simple and keep it repeatable. It has to be simple and
repeatable. Complexity.
Complexity isn't necessarily power, and it.
Can definitely derail starting aritual because the more complex
it is. Right, Yeah, I mean, if if you
ever do, if you ever practice ceremonial magic is super, super
(32:38):
complex. That's why most people just, you
know, stop. It's it's very difficult, but
the more practical, the better, the more consistent, the better.
Consistency is where the power is here, not not in its
complexity. It doesn't have to be.
It shouldn't be ever be hard to do.
And you know, like I said, like you were just saying, you take
10 minutes, you know, one honestminute done regularly,
(32:59):
consistently, mindfully printed and with presence nourishes you
far more than any complicated ceremony done one time.
So any closing thoughts today for the show?
One of the biggest traps of starting a new ritual is trying
to start a lot of new rituals inthe book Atomic Habits.
I love how he brings this up. Start with one or two.
Do not do more than that, especially if it's something big
(33:22):
like going to the gym or trying to quit a bad habit.
And when you go to try to replace those bad habits, find
something to replace them with, because that void will suck you
right back into them. So that's really the one piece
of guidance I want to give them.Be patient with yourself.
It might look messy at first, but the more you practice, the
more you show up, the more you're going to see change, and
(33:43):
the more these rituals would become a part of your daily
life. Yeah.
And remember, you're not doing these to perform.
These are for you. So, you know, no judgement on
how you do it or, or what you actually do or why you're doing
them. Those are those are questions
for you. Those are those are your things.
Yeah. We just want to give you kind
of, you know, some easy ways to do it.
(34:04):
Yeah, one thing I love how he references in the book is like
going to the gym. Don't even focus on getting into
the gym. Make your first time going just
pulling up in the parking lot and walking in the doors.
Next time make it pulling up, walking through the doors and
walking past the equipment. Then let it be a 5 minute walk
on the treadmill. But just start small and build
the momentum. I look at momentum as you push
(34:25):
something uphill first before itstarts rolling down the hill.
And the more you push it uphill,the more momentum it'll get on
the other side. Yeah.
You know, it's, it's difficult to pair the supernatural with
the mundane, with everyday life and the way to bridge those
things because there's a lot of supernatural in this world.
Even a Christian would tell you that, right?
I have a pastor that I talked towho's a friend of mine, and we
(34:47):
talk about the supernatural stuff a lot.
But you know, it's in these small, quiet, simple things that
we do for ourselves with presence, with purpose, with
intention that bridge these gapsand really help us become more
in alignment with the things we want and more resonant with the
things that we're trying to accomplish.
So before we get into our affirmations and journals and
(35:09):
stuff today, let's pray. Source of all that is holy and
alive and all of creation. I stand at the threshold of the
unseen and the everyday. Today I remember the sacredness
is not far away. It is woven into the breath I
take, the steps I walk, the loveI give and receive.
I release the belief that ritualis strange or fearful.
(35:31):
I claim the truth of your existence and the ancient wisdom
already alive within me. The human impulse to honor, to
connect, to create meaning. Every action when chosen with
love becomes a prayer. Every word, when rooted in
truth, becomes a blessing. May love infuse my daily
rhythms. May truth guide the rituals I
(35:51):
choose. May my outer actions reflect the
integrity of my soul. May connection bind me to all of
creation and to the light itself.
May I remember the sanctity of life, treating every moment as
holy ground. I bless my routines, the first
sip of water in the morning, thequiet before sleep, the hands
that work and the heart that helps.
I bless my prayers, my meditations, my pauses to
(36:13):
breathe and notice the beauty within all.
May these simple acts be Shieldsof peace and bridges to the to
the divine. And when I create new rituals,
let them come from light and serve light.
Keep me safe from fear, super superstition and harm.
Root me in clarity, joy and reverence.
(36:34):
Today I walk as a conscious keeper of sacred rhythm.
My life itself is a temple. My actions living prayers.
So it is, and may it always be. Amen.
Our affirmations for today. I bring in tension and light
into my daily actions. My life is already filled with
sacred rhythms and I honor them.I create rituals that ground,
(36:57):
protect, and connect me. I walk in truth and integrity,
free from fear or superstition. My ordinary life is a holy place
where the light of creation dwells in.
Our journaling prompts What everyday actions already bring
me comfort or meaning? How might I deepen, deepen their
significance? Where am I moving on autopilot,
and how can I? How could I infuse intention
(37:19):
there? What small daily ritual could
help me feel more connected to myself, others, or the light of
creation? When have I felt safe and at
peace and routine? What made it feel sacred?
And are there any patterns I want to release because they
drain or numb me rather than nourish me?
So again, ritual isn't scary, it's not spooky, and it's not
(37:40):
rare. We all do it.
It's not locked away in temples or reserved for special people.
It's already living inside of you.
The question has never been if you practice ritual, but how you
practice it. Every action can be just another
motion or it can be a moment of connection.
A sip of water can be hydration and hydration only, or it could
(38:02):
be hydration and gratitude lighting.
Lighting a candle can be just for for light or for warmth, or
it could also be a quiet declaration that you choose
light over fear. Even walking through the leaves
in autumn this time of year can become prayer when you decide to
move with intention. So the ethos call us here to
(38:26):
bring love, to bring kindness toour daily rhythms, truth to live
without pretending or performingintegrity to align our action
actions with our being, mind, body, spirit, heart, connection.
To remember you belong to creation and to the people
around you, the sanctity of life, to treat every moment as
(38:48):
holy and as holy ground. So here's your here's my
invitation to you. Choose one action today and make
it sacred. One breath before you open your
phone or laptop. One blessing before you eat. 1
candle for gratitude. Just one little act done with
intention can change the whole entire universe for you, one at
(39:11):
a time. You don't need permission.
This is the most important thingI want to leave with all of you
today. You don't need permission.
You don't need credentials. You don't need any elaborate or
ancient or fancy sacred tools. You are the tool.
You are the one that gives yourself permission.
(39:32):
You have all the credentials youneed infused in you before you
were born, right? So bring that stuff.
Remember who you are. Bring that.
Bring that that into your everyday life and watch how the
ordinary and if you guys are feel led to share your
(39:53):
experience. Tell a friend, tell your
mentors, tell whoever of what you did and how it worked for
you. Post about it.
Tag and tag this show so we can see what you're doing too.
Not because we're watching you, but because we want to see how
you guys are doing. We don't ever hear from you
guys. We love you guys.
So you know, we want to see how you're doing and if there's
(40:14):
anywhere we can help you, we're happy to.
So just remember, sharing our light doesn't.
To others doesn't diminish our own.
The light, it doesn't go. You can't dim it by sharing it.
It just makes the whole path brighter for all of us, right?
So and one other thing, you don't have to do these things
with perfection. As Michael said earlier, just do
(40:37):
it. Just freaking do it with
intention and purpose. Thank you so much for joining us
today, Michael. Thank you so much for being
here, Heather. Thanks for being and hanging out
behind me and breathing on my neck or whatever you were doing
over here. Make sure to check out our our
socials, check out our web page,new ashley.com.
And till next time with love andgravity, gravity of the
(40:58):
situation. With love and gratitude.
Add Lucium. Add Lucium.
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