31. How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt: Protect Your Energy & Prioritize Yourself

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Struggling to set boundaries without feeling guilty? You’re not alone! In this episode of The Nurses’ Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN, we’re diving into why boundaries matter, how to stop saying yes out of obligation, and simple strategies to protect your time and energy without guilt.

You'll learn:
✔ Why boundaries are essential for preventing burnout and resentment.
✔ 3 simple strategies to set limits (without feeling selfish).
✔ How to respond with confidence when you need to say no.
✔ The power of scheduling self-care like any other important commitment.

Your time and energy are valuable—protect them. Listen now and take the first step toward healthier boundaries!

📩 Have a takeaway or a question? Leave a message in Buzzsprout or email me at [e-mail]—I’d love to hear from you!

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the
Nurse's Breakroom with JennyLytle RN.
Today we're diving into a topicthat many of us struggle with,
and that is setting boundarieswithout guilt.
Have you ever said yes tosomething that you didn't want
to do just to avoiddisappointing someone?
Or maybe you've agreed to takeon extra work, even when you

(00:23):
were already stretched too thin?
You're not alone, and todaywe're going to talk about how to
protect your time and yourenergy without feeling bad about
it.
First of all, why do boundarieseven matter?
When we say yes to everything,then we often end up burned out

(00:43):
and resentful and exhausted, andboundaries aren't about pushing
people away.
They're about making sure thatyou have enough energy for what
really matters.
You know, the reality is weonly have so much time and so
much energy, and when we say yesto things out of guilt or

(01:04):
obligation or because we don'twant to disappoint someone, then
what we're really doing issaying no to other things that
maybe are more important toothers and to us.
And I know that boundaries aredefinitely something that I have

(01:26):
struggled with and sometimesstill do, because I am the type
of person that I want to pleasepeople.
I want people to like me.
Now I care less about that thanI used to, and that's not
because I care any less aboutpeople, but really because I
feel like I care about them moreand I care about myself more

(01:47):
and I value my own time more,because I know I only have so
much bandwidth and because Iwent through a pretty dark place
where I had horrible boundaries, where I really struggled with
my own self worth and figuringout exactly who I was and what
mattered most to me, and so I'vedone the work to figure those

(02:11):
things out and to get more clearon where my priorities are, and
that means that sometimes I doneed to say no.
So a few simple boundarysetting strategies, especially
for those of us who strugglewith that.
So the first one is just pausebefore you say yes, instead of

(02:35):
an automatic yes when someonesays, hey, could you do this for
me or could you help out inthis particular situation?
Or even if it's something likedo you want to get together for
lunch on Wednesday?
Before you automatically sayyes, either because it's
something that you feel like youshould say, or out of guilt or

(02:58):
a sense of obligation, or evenif it's something that you just
think, oh my gosh, yes, ofcourse I want to do that.
That sounds fun.
I'd love to catch up with you,even if it's something that you
just think, oh my gosh, yes, ofcourse I want to do that.
That sounds fun.
I'd love to catch up with you.
Pause and try something likelet me check my schedule and get
back to you For me personally,I am somebody that wants to do

(03:19):
everything.
I would like to.
I'd like to be able to helpeverybody, but I want to do all
these fun things too and havethese new experiences.
But again, there's only so manyhours in a day, and so, looking
at my schedule, taking a stepback out of the excitement of

(03:42):
the moment and being able toreally, like take a look at the
big picture, let me look at myday, my week, my month and see,
like, can I really fit inanything else now?
And just taking that step backand giving yourself a little bit
of time to really reflect on isthis the best thing for me

(04:03):
right now Can make all thedifference.
So a second thing that you cando is use clear language, but
kind language, you know.
You don't have to just say no,even though no is a complete
sentence.
You can just say no, but a lotof us aren't really comfortable

(04:23):
with that.
There are certain situationswhere I feel like I can just say
no, and there lot of us aren'treally comfortable with that.
There are certain situationswhere I feel like I can just say
no, and there are other oneswhere it's not that I owe an
explanation, but I know if thesituation were reversed,
especially if it's somethingthat someone really needs some
help or really is lookingforward to, this time I do like
to offer a bit more than that.

(04:44):
So instead of just saying no orI can't, maybe you could say
something like I'd love to, butI don't have the capacity right
now, and that's something thatis that's hard to argue with
when someone is upfront andhonest about where they are

(05:04):
mentally, spiritually,physically, emotionally,
whatever that may be.
Just, I can't do that.
And if somebody is trying tochallenge that when you're
setting those type of boundaries, then that's kind of another
issue with them.
And the third thing is check inwith yourself, paying attention

(05:25):
to the things that leave youdrained, those people that you
kind of feel exhausted around.
Those are likely areas whereyou need stronger boundaries,
and I know that that can be anadditional challenge when there
are people that are close to us,but when we have better

(05:50):
boundaries in place, then we'remore able to enjoy the time that
we do have with those people.
We're able to enjoy the momentsthat we have and the events
that we do say yes to, becausewe're not exhausted and we're
not rushing off to the nextthing.

(06:10):
So something else that I liketo do myself and like to
encourage my clients to do is toblock off time in your calendar
.
When you look and you realize,okay, you know what in your
calendar.
When you look and you realize,okay, you know what, I've got a
lot of things going on and I'vegot maybe some big projects
coming or I just I know that Ineed some breathing room, I need

(06:36):
some margin in my calendar.
So I like to schedule time withmyself and have those self care
or stress relieving activitiesscheduled in my calendar and I
try to keep those like I wouldan appointment with somebody
else, because I matter as much,if not more, than other people

(06:56):
do, and I'm not saying that froma selfish standpoint, I'm
saying that from a I know what Iam going through.
I know what I need to do totake care of myself, and when I
don't do that then I can't showup in the way that I want to for
other people and so blockingthat time off.
And then that also gives youthe ability to say you know what

(07:17):
I would love to help out, butI'm already booked up.
And you are booked up becausethose times with yourself, those
times when you have thatdowntime, matters.
So your self-care shift for thisweek think of an area, just one
area, where you feeloverextended.
And what is one small shiftthat you could make to set a

(07:46):
boundary?
And I would love to hear fromyou, I'd love to know that Now
with Buzzsprout, you can justreply to the episode.
There's a button where you canjust message and you know, I'd
love it if you'd do that and tohear your thoughts on where is
something that you could make alittle bit of a shift there.
So if today's episode resonatedwith you, I'd love it if you'd

(08:10):
share it with a friend who needsto hear this message.
And don't forget your time andenergy are valuable.
Protect them.
And self-care isn't selfish.
It's essential if we want tocontinue to care for others and
live our best lives, and part ofthat is setting boundaries.
I'll see you next time.