54. The Top Reasons We Skip Self-Care (and How to Stop)

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Are you stuck in the “someday” trap when it comes to self-care? In this episode of The Nurses Break Room with Jenny Lytle, RN,  Jenny tackles the four most common excuses that keep caregivers, nurses, and busy people from taking time for themselves — and shows you simple, guilt-free ways to break the cycle.

Discover how to fit self-care into your schedule, even when you’re short on time, money, or energy. Learn why putting yourself first is actually the best way to care for others, and how to create a personalized self-care menu that makes it easy to take action anytime.

You’ll learn:

• The #1 mindset shift that makes self-care possible in any season of life
• How to find micro-moments for yourself without rearranging your whole day
• Free (and powerful) self-care ideas that work for every personality
• Why self-care isn’t selfish — and how to let go of the guilt
• How to create a ready-to-use “self-care menu” you can turn to instantly

Whether you’re a nurse, caregiver, or just someone who’s always putting others first, this episode will help you start caring for yourself now — not later.

✅ Takeaways & Action Steps

Takeaways:

• Self-care is essential, not optional, for sustainable caregiving and living well.
• Lack of time or money doesn’t have to stop you — small, free actions matter.
• Guilt is misplaced — caring for yourself benefits everyone you support.
• Planning self-care ahead of time makes it easier to follow through.

Action Steps:

1. Write down 3–5 quick self-care activities that take 5 minutes or less.
2. Add 3–5 free or low-cost activities you genuinely enjoy.
3. Keep your “self-care menu” somewhere you can see daily.
4. Use pockets of time for intentional self-care instead of mindless scrolling.
5. Revisit and update your list every few months as your needs change.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the
Nurses Break Room with JennyLytle RN.
Today we are going to addressthe most common reasons that I
hear for not fitting self-careinto our life.
It doesn't seem to matter whichdemographic I am talking to,
whether it be nurses, othercaregivers, people who are

(00:22):
completely outside of thecaregiving realm all of the
things are kind of the same.
So number one and these aren'tnecessarily in any particular
order, because that part doesvary a little bit depending on
who I'm talking to but one ofthe main things is I don't have
time, and I get it.
We all have busy lives.

(00:43):
We play multiple roles in ourlives and depending on what kind
of season it is, then thingscan be even busier.
Right now we're in back toschool time and end of
summertime here in the US, andso that looks different for most
of us, even if we don't havekids at home or have kids at all
.
It's just life just startschanging up a little bit.
But I challenge you to reallythink about what is it that you

(01:11):
would do if you did have time,and maybe there are things that
you enjoy doing that take a longtime, but there's also plenty
of small things that can be fitinto your day to day life, that
don't take much time, and theway that we need to address all
of these things is to beproactive with that, instead of

(01:32):
thinking I don't have time forthat, or when I have more time,
then I will take care of myself.
I'll do things to de-stress,however you want to look at that
.
But when we look at that alittle bit differently and
realize that each day we havethese little bits of time that
we can dedicate to taking careof ourselves, or we can spend

(01:54):
that time zoning out with thingslike scrolling our phone or
watching TV or just those busykind of things that don't really
do anything to make us feelbetter and sometimes increase
our anxiety.
The second one is I don't havethe money for self care, and

(02:14):
that is another one that I'mgoing to challenge, because, yes
, there are plenty of thingsthat you can do that cost money.
You can go on a retreat, youcan go on a vacation, go to the
spa there's, there's so manyways that that you can spend
money in taking care of yourself.
But there are also a lot ofsuper simple things that can be
just as, if not more effectivethan things that do cost money.

(02:36):
And again, you need to look andfigure out what is it that you
enjoy, like spending time innature.
That's something that's goodfor us on every level and it's
free for the most part.
You can pay to go to a nationalpark or to go somewhere, maybe
where there's more offerings oryou're doing something a little

(02:57):
more guided, but you can go to apark somewhere local.
You can step outside.
Even if you live in the city,you know there's likely a park
or some kind of area nearby.
Just getting your feet in thegrass somewhere or looking at
the trees, looking at flowers,having plants inside, going out

(03:17):
and looking at the clouds supersimple things.
They don't take much time andthey take little to no money.
Number three is I just feelthere are so many other people
that I need to be taking care of, so many other things that I
need to be doing, that I don'tfeel like I have time to take

(03:37):
care of myself right now, and alot of times we throw that right
now thing on there.
When this happens, then I'll beable to take care of myself.
Right now is a really busy time.
When it slows down, then I'mgoing to prioritize myself, but
think about how long you've beenthinking that there are seasons
that are busier and slower thanothers.
But if we're not in the habitof prioritizing our own care,

(04:02):
then often that next season isgoing to end up with you
neglecting yourself as well.
So the way to challenge thisone is thinking about the people
that are counting on you,thinking about all of those
things that you have to do, allof those roles that you play,
and then flip that to what if Iwasn't here to do those things?

(04:26):
What would that look like?
Would they still get done?
Would that mean that there wasa lot of that burden falling to
someone else?
When we think through thosethings a little bit further and
we think of the people that areimportant to us, the people that
we really feel like we need tobe showing up for, then that can

(04:51):
be a motivation to take care ofourselves.
Then that can be a motivationto take care of ourselves,
because when we take care ofourselves, we're happier, we're
healthier, we'll potentially bearound longer and show up better
for those people and again, itdoesn't have to take a long time
to fit in time to take care ofyou in addition to everybody

(05:13):
else, and you'll find that whenyou take care of yourself, you
have more energy to take care ofyou in addition to everybody
else.
And you'll find that when youtake care of yourself, you have
more energy to take care ofothers.
Of course, this is such a bigone the mindset that self-care
is selfish and we have that kindof ingrained into us.
But I just encourage you towork on that.
Work on how you really feelabout that.
And how would you approach that?

(05:34):
If a close friend was talkingto you about being worn out,
being depleted, you would likelyencourage her to take some time
for herself.
But we don't always take thatadvice when it comes to our own
lives.
And, of course, if you haven'tgrabbed my book self care isn't
selfish the compassionate nursesstep by step guide to

(05:55):
personalize self care, that'savailable in all its forms on
Amazon and you can also get afree digital copy on my website
at Jenny Lytlecom in Like, Ihaven't taken care of myself in

(06:17):
so long that I don't know whereto start, so I saved this one
for last, because it really isthe best place to start, and
that is figuring out proactivelywhat you can do.
That will help you to feeltaken care of.
That will help you to feel lessstressed.
And look back over the otherareas and come up with maybe

(06:39):
three to five things that canfit into each area.
So if we're looking at time, Idon't have time to take care of
myself.
Okay, what are three to fivethings that you would enjoy in
your life?
Now, I have lists of thesethings and there's free
resources also available on mywebsite and, of course, in my
book, but really it needs to bepersonalized to you.

(07:04):
So my list can give you someideas, but you need to figure
out what is it that makes youfeel better and then write those
things down.
Create a menu of self-careitems so that when you have
those little pockets of time,when you have those times when
you're feeling more stressed outand maybe there's something

(07:27):
thinking you know what I reallyneed a break you have those
things to go to.
You don't have to figure outwhat should I do?
So have a list of the thingsthat you can do that just take a
little bit of time and I'mtalking maybe 60 seconds or five
minutes or less and then comeup with a list of three to five

(07:48):
things that don't take any money, and some of those things may
overlap a bit, but maybe some ofthose are a little bit longer,
like going for a walk in thepark or going to a maybe there's
a free museum locally or goingto the library or a walk with a
friend or get creative with it.

(08:08):
But add those things to yourlist.
And then for the one about selfcare seeming selfish, think of
the people and jot down thesepeople that are counting on you
and think of how they would wantyou to care for yourself.

(08:29):
Or there are people who reallytake advantage of our kindness.
So if that doesn't work for you, then think about how you would
approach a friend that said hey, you know what I am?
Just I'm worn out or I don'thave, I don't have time to take
care of myself, I'm busy takingcare of all these other people
and think of what you would sayto that person and jot down a

(08:53):
couple of those things, and Iencourage you write these down
by hand, put them on a note inyour phone, put them somewhere
where you can see them as a wayto just remind yourself that,
hey, I'm worthy of taking careof myself, I'm worthy of being
cared for, and that has to startwith ourselves, the way that we

(09:16):
treat ourselves, and thenincorporate some of those things
on a regular basis.
Start small.
If it's uncomfortable and ifit's something that you're like,
I just I'm really feeling stuck.
Get the idea, but I don't.
I don't know how to workthrough this because I'm really

(09:37):
struggling with taking that timeand effort for myself.
Then schedule a call with me.
You can schedule a free callthere on my website as well, and
we can chat through that alittle bit.
Because when you're someone whois a giver, who is a caretaker,
who constantly puts othersneeds above your own, then it
can be a challenge to startmaking some of those changes.

(09:59):
But I'm happy to help you outwith that and give you some tips
.
So until next time, rememberself care isn't selfish.
It's the only way that we cancontinue to care for others and
live our best lives.
Have a wonderful week.