58. Embracing 50: It's OK to Feel Grateful ... and Sad

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In this deeply personal episode of The Nurse’s Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN, Jenny reflects on turning 50—and how this milestone brought up a surprising mix of gratitude, joy, and unexpected sadness.

🎧 Inside this episode:

• Why it’s normal to feel conflicting emotions around big birthdays - and in day-to-day life
• The difference between self-compassion and toxic positivity
• How to embrace a “both/and” mindset (especially as a caregiver)
• What turning 50 can teach us about presence, perspective, and peace
• Why reflecting on your life regularly builds resilience

This one is for anyone navigating change, questioning their emotions, or wondering if it’s okay to feel a little off even when life is good. (Spoiler: It is.)

Takeaways & Action Steps:

• Embrace both gratitude and grief—it’s human.
• Create space to feel instead of forcing fake positivity.
• Use milestones as a chance to reflect and realign.
• Practice the self-compassion you give to others.
• Don’t rush through the “funk”—sometimes sitting with it brings clarity.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Feeling stressed? Grab my quick and easy Busy Nurses' Guide to Less Stress for practical stress relief that truly fits into your life! https://www.jennylytle.com/guide

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the
Nurse's Breakroom with JennyLytle RN.
This is my birthday week andwe're going to focus on
self-compassion, especially whenit comes to seemingly
conflicting emotions.
So today is September 8th andit is my last day in my 40s.

(00:22):
Tomorrow I'm going to turn 50,and that's something that really
I have been looking forward toall year.
I've talked about it repeatedly, saying you know I'm going to
be 50 soon.
You know I'm going to be 50 inSeptember, but now that I'm
going to be 50 tomorrow, it'shitting a little different.

(00:44):
These past couple of weeks havebeen a little bit challenging
for me.
Overall, I have looked forwardto, and still look forward to,
50 because my 40s have been mybest and, honestly, I've had a
good life not perfect.
There's been lots of ups anddowns, lots of not great in with
the great, but my life has beengood and I'm very thankful for

(01:09):
that.
And my 40s have been great andI expect my 50s to be even
better.
However, that doesn't mean thatI can't still have these
feelings about turning half acentury.
Turning half a century becausethat's big Now.

(01:29):
I've worked in hospice for 20years now and so I understand
what a gift every birthday isand what a milestone 50 is,
because you know I've cared formany people who never reach 50.
Never reached 50.

(01:53):
Two of my grandmas neverreached 50.
But what I've figured out isthat I can be grateful, I can be
positive and full of joy in somany ways and I can still feel
this sadness, this yearning foryouth, and I don't feel that 50
is old, but it's 50.

(02:14):
And I didn't really expect tofeel this way and I think that's
part of it is when we feelthings that we know we're going
to feel, then it's not asjarring.
But when we have these feelingsthat pop up and kind of
blindside us, that's a littledifferent.

(02:36):
I know myself pretty well and Iknow that sometimes I just get
like this I get a little down, Iget a little in the funk.
I've written about that before.
I've talked.
Little down, I get a little inthe funk.
I've written about that before.
I've talked about that.
But still, when I'm in themidst of it, sometimes I've just
got to sit there and I've donea bit of that this week.

(02:56):
There are things that I knowhelp me feel better.
There are things that I knowhelp me move through it and
there's times when I just feellike I can't, when I just need
to be, and I'm learning to havethat grace with myself, that
patience and self-compassion,and honestly that's a bit of a

(03:19):
challenge for me.
I can have that with otherpeople but maybe, like you,
sometimes extending that tomyself can be a little bit
difficult, especially when Ireally try to focus on the
positive and I try to focus ongratitude.
But I also don't want it to veerover into toxic positivity,

(03:44):
because the reality is we're nothappy all the time.
Things are not great all thetime, and if they were, I think
they'd lose the edge that makesthem feel great.
You know, if the sun wasshining all the time, would it
be as special?
Would it feel as good?

(04:05):
I don't know.
I live in Indiana.
It's cloudy and cold a lot, butthose great things sometimes
seem even greater because weexperience the not so great
things.
Whether that be in our emotions, in our lives, in our
environment, whether that be inour emotions, in our lives, in
our environment, it's thedifferences in those things that

(04:27):
really make them stand out.
I take time to reflect on mylife, how I feel, what I've
accomplished, what I still wantto accomplish on a pretty
regular basis anyway, but thisseems like an extra important
time to really reflect on that.

(04:47):
And when I look back, I knowthat I have been able to do so
many things that I am sothankful for and that I've also
got so many more in me that I'mgoing to accomplish.
But one thing and I thoughtthis a few years ago again

(05:12):
hospice nurse I think of deathand I thought about if I were to
find out that I had a terminaldiagnosis, what would be missing
from my life.
And I said then and I stillbelieve that in reality, nothing

(05:37):
.
I have had a wonderful life.
Now I fully plan on having many,many years ahead of me, but I
have people that love me.
I feel like I've made adifference in at least a few
people's lives.
I have family and friends thatI love and appreciate and who

(06:00):
know me and love me regardless Ilove and appreciate, and who
know me and love me regardless.
I feel like I have followed andam following the path that I'm
meant to be on, that God haslaid out for me, and I also
believe that when I die, it'snot over.

(06:22):
I know where I'm going and Ijust am so thankful that I have
this opportunity to reach outand to connect with people that
I wouldn't have otherwise beenable to connect with, and that
I'm able to be open and honestabout the way I feel and having

(06:43):
gratitude and having sadness.
It's not an either or thing.
It can be a both and and.
As I'm going through this, I'msure that maybe you are, or a
friend of yours is, or you havebeen there, and I would just I

(07:05):
would love for you to reach outand connect with me.
You can email me at Jenny Lytle, at JennyLytlecom, find me on
social media or go to my websiteand grab one of my free
resources and let's stayconnected, because I would love
to hear some of the things thatyou go through as well.

(07:26):
In the meantime, remember tohave the same kind of compassion
for yourself, the same kind ofgrace with yourself that you
would with a close friend, andremember self-care isn't selfish
.
It's essential if we want tocontinue to care for others and

(07:47):
live our best lives.
Have a wonderful week.