59. Why Real Self-Care Isn’t Always Relaxing

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In this episode of The Nurses Break Room with Jenny Lytle, RN, Jenny shares a surprising take on self-care that goes beyond bubble baths and breaks.

What if real self-care means doing the uncomfortable thing—like catching up on emails or folding laundry—instead of zoning out on the couch?

Jenny shares a recent weekend that reminded her: sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to get stuff done.

If you’ve ever felt buried under “life stuff” and unsure how to recharge, this episode will help you find clarity, peace, and control—by doing what you’ve been avoiding.

You’ll learn:

• The ONE question that helps you choose the right kind of self-care
• How to trade momentary comfort for long-term calm
• Why checking something off your list can be more healing than resting
• How to spot “productive self-care” in your own life
• How to reduce stress and overwhelm without burning out

Perfect for nurses, caregivers, and high-achievers who want self-care that actually works.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Feeling stressed? Grab my quick and easy Busy Nurses' Guide to Less Stress for practical stress relief that truly fits into your life! https://www.jennylytle.com/guide

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the
Nurse's Break Room with JennyLytle RN.
Today we're going to talk aboutsomething that I really haven't
talked about very often, andthat's when self-care means
telling yourself something thatyou might not want to hear.
This summer has been a busy one, and it's been full of work

(00:21):
things and fun things and familythings, and it's been great.
But that also means thatthere's a lot of stuff that's
gotten put on the back burner,and as I started a new job last
week, I realized, as I wastrying to get all those moving
pieces put together in a waythat was going to work well,

(00:43):
that what I really needed to do,instead of taking time on the
weekend to decompress and justrelax and enjoy my time, that I
needed to spend some time reallyworking on the things that had
gotten behind, that had gottenbehind things that were going to
help me feel more prepared,less stressed, more in control

(01:18):
of my life moving forward.
And so yesterday I spent themajority of the day working
through emails and messages andgetting back with people,
because that's something that Ireally like to try to stay on
top of, but it had gotten out ofcontrol.
Saturday, we had a great daywith family and my husband and I
were just able to be togetherand we went out to eat and we

(01:39):
had a great time.
And yesterday there was a partof me that wanted to do that as
well.
But I know that, again, thereare only so many hours in the
day, and doing things thatdecrease my stress in the moment
are great, but there's timeswhen we need to take that longer

(02:03):
view and maybe not go for anextended hike, unless that's
really what you know your bodyis needing.
But having to sometimes tradeoff those things that would be
more fun, would be moreenjoyable in the moment and
would be good for us long-termas well.

(02:24):
But it's just figuring out likewhat is it that I need most
right now?
And that's a question thatyou've probably heard me mention
before, and I think it's soimportant to come back to that,
especially when we're havingthose times when we're really
kind of struggling with it.
There's so many great options,or maybe we don't even see them

(02:45):
as great options.
We're seeing them as so manythings to do, and again I've got
that going too.
You know I need to mop, I needto change my sheets.
I haven't done those things.
They're on my list, but thatwasn't what I needed most right
now, and so I just encourage you, as you dive into this week,

(03:06):
think about is there somethingthat you have maybe been putting
off, that if you took a littlebit of time to do it, would that
free up some of that mentalheadspace for you, some of that
just emotional bandwidth, to beable to approach the rest of the
week a little more relaxed, alittle more peaceful and feeling

(03:27):
like you're more on top ofthings, and maybe that's
something that doesn't apply toyou and that's wonderful.
But I think we can all come backto that question of what do I
need most right now,particularly when we're feeling
stressed, but even in the midstof a great day, you know, what
is it that I need most?
To maybe continue feeling thisway.

(03:47):
We don't have to wait untilwe're in a crisis to start
taking care of ourselves, tostart asking ourselves important
questions, to get off ofautopilot.
And so next week I'm going tobe talking about planning ahead
and what that looks like when weplan our weeks in advance and
our months and our days, and howthat can really change our

(04:10):
productivity, our overall feeland our stress levels.
And so, until next time,remember that self-care isn't
selfish.
It's essential if we want tocontinue to care for others and
live our best lives.
Have a wonderful week.