Are You a "Late Bloomer" ??? This Is For You...

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Key Takeaways:

-  Are the ideals we are taught to uphold, truly idealistic?

-  We already know who we are and what we are meant to do, we just need to remember.  

-  We need to experience the losses, and the definite 'No’s’,  so that when the definite ‘Yes’ shows up, we immediately recognize it and are able to align with that.   

Have you ever felt the pressure to Succeed on Everyone Else's Terms ??? Have you ever felt like life’s milestones are just ticking clocks you can't keep up with? Have you experienced that emotional rollercoaster that comes with not meeting societal timelines? If any of this feels true to you, then this episode is for you friend. 

In this special solo episode, I share my personal journey of feeling lost and confused as a "late bloomer". Getting into some of the struggles and pressures many of us face when trying to discover our true paths amid societal expectations. This episode is a heartfelt conversation aimed at anyone who feels they’re falling behind in life or career, encouraging you to strip away external identities and redefine your self-worth on your own terms.


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Support the show

Connect with us!!!

Instagram @discovertheothersideoffear

Youtube The Other Side of Fear Podcast

Kertia's Email: [e-mail]

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All health and mental health topics within the content of this body of work are for informational, discussion, reflective, and entertainment purposes only. The Other Side of Fear and its contents does not replace nor does it claim to replace the knowledge, expertise and advice of licensed healthcare professionals.

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The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of The Other Side of Fear, its subsidiaries, or any entities they represent.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, there you're listening to the Other Side of
Fear podcast, where we talkabout how personal affairs has
hindered your ability to takethat next step that will get you
to where you aspire to be.
What will it take for you tostop playing small and start
playing big?
Let's get into it, hello, hello.

(00:26):
Okay.
So today's episode is going tobe a little bit different
because it's just me today.
Today I am going solo and, as amatter of fact, the second
season of this podcast will be alittle bit more like this.
You will hear a little bit moreof my voice, of my stories, and

(00:48):
me just breaking down concepts,getting deeper into concepts
that we've kind of alreadybreezed through, I guess, in
some of the conversations onthis podcast.
So today I just want to kind ofaddress the so called late
bloomers, for lack of a betterterm.

(01:11):
You know, I sort of kind of, Iguess, consider myself a late
bloomer as well.
It took me a while to kind ofdiscover my path, discover what
it is that feels true to me.
It took me a while and it hasbeen a struggle.

(01:32):
To be honest, it has been astruggle.
There are many times when Ifelt completely confused and
lost, you know.
So, for anyone who feels likeit's taking you way too long to
figure out your shit, to figureout life, to figure out your

(01:52):
career path, to figure out whatyou're actually good at, your
abilities, your talents, yourcompetencies, whatever that may
be, whatever that may look like,this is for you.
You know, for those of us whoare considered late bloomers, we
take a little bit longer tofigure out what we want and what

(02:15):
makes sense for us, and some ofus already know what we want.
But we get lost in otherpeople's opinions and
expectations of us and we oftenfeel pressured or rushed to
accomplish certain goals or hitcertain milestones in a certain
time period, by a certain age.
So many certaints.

(02:35):
But the one thing we oftenbecome uncertain about in the
midst of all of this is who weare, who you are separate from
your family, from the people andenvironment we're used to, from
our culture, from who societysaid we should be and what we
should aspire to.
And thinking along those lines,who are you?

(02:59):
Who are you without your goalsor accomplishments?
Who are you without yourpossessions?
Who are you when you strippedaway that external identity
we've all developed in order forus to participate in society,
to survive this world, becauseour journeys were not meant to
be assessed based on ouraccomplishments or what we have

(03:24):
or don't have.
It's so much deeper than thatand I'm sure you all know this.
But we limit ourselves when westrive for these ideals of what
our lives should look like andthen use that to create an
assessment of our worthiness, ofour deserving factor, of our
value.
Because when we can't meet thestandards that has been set or

(03:48):
hit those goals when we'resupposed to, our self-worth is
in jeopardy.
And I've definitely been there.
You know, personally, there weretimes when I felt like I was
failing at something.
I was failing at life.
I was failing at figuring outmy career.
I was failing at figuring outwhat I'm even good at.
I couldn't even figure out whatI wanted to do half the time,

(04:11):
to be honest, and I kept beatingmyself up because I couldn't
meet some pie in the sky thathas been placed over my head.
The sky that has been placedover my head and for some reason
I just couldn't reach it.
No matter what I did, no matterwhat steps I took, I just

(04:33):
couldn't reach that pie in thesky and I felt like a failure
for the longest time, and it wassuper, super frustrating
because I felt like and it wassuper, super frustrating because
I felt like, well, what is itthat I'm not doing?
What is it that I need to bedoing?
So, yeah, it's a shitty placeto be.
You know, I would be thinkingwhat is wrong with me?

(04:56):
What's my problem?
Why can't I finally get thisone thing right?
And I know for anyone that'sbeen through this you begin to
feel like a failure.
You might even be thinking thatlife is unfair.
You might blame yourself, youmight blame other people.
You're tired, you're stressed,you're frustrated.
Things just aren't panning outthe way you think they should,

(05:22):
especially when you've doneeverything, right, right, when
you've taken all the steps, whenyou've done all the things,
when you've read all the books,and the list goes on.
I'm sure that we're all familiarwith the downward spiral of
self-loathing, with a negativeself-talk and questioning your

(05:44):
capabilities and, on the far end, maybe even depression.
But who created these idealsanyway?
And are these ideals trulyidealistic?
Really, think about it.
The things that we were told weshould want.
Who does it serve?
What system or systems does ituphold?

(06:04):
How much of ourselves are werequired to give up to attain it
?
To live up to these ideals, howfar outside of yourself are you
willing to go to get it?
And how does your valueincrease or decrease based on
your ability to attain it?

(06:25):
So if you find that you've beenunable to accomplish something
and it's affecting the way thatyou feel about yourself or maybe
you have actually accomplishedthe things but somehow you still
feel like it's just not enough,you still feel shitty about
yourself I'm here to tell youthat your value and your

(06:47):
worthiness is inherent honey.
It rests on nothing outside ofyourself, outside of you simply
just being.
You are valuable, just becauseyou are.
You are enough without all thefrills and the things we are
taught to believe will make usenough.
We are definitely more than thesum of our accomplishments, of

(07:13):
what we have or don't have.
And don't get me wrong, havinggoals and standards are great.
In fact, goals and standardsare necessary because aspiring
to something to be better thanwe are today is essential for
our growth and our evolution asa species.

(07:35):
So wanting to accomplish bigthings magnificent.
That is a part of ourevolutionary trajectory as human
beings to grow, to make newdiscoveries, to create.
But the issue is when ouridentity becomes defined by

(07:57):
things outside of ourselves, byour parents or family in general
, by religious or politicalaffiliations, by our culture.
When we tie ourselves up withthe expectations of others, when
what we want becomes associatedwith the expectations of our
parents and family membersexpectations of our parents and

(08:23):
family members when we think wemust achieve certain things in
order to be happy to be valuedand, in a broader context, when
we stress about doing things ina certain way that has been laid
out by our culture or any otheraffiliations we may have,
whatever else we've attached ouridentities to, even if some of
those values are out ofalignment with who we are, you

(08:46):
are going so far out of yourself, in essence, stifling parts of
you that makes you you.
You begin to separate from yourauthentic self.
At the end of the day, only youknow what's in your best

(09:08):
interests.
Only you know what feels rightfor you, what feels in alignment
with your purpose, your passionor your natural inclinations.
So if you're a late bloomerlike myself, you've probably
struggled with keeping all thatexternal noise in check.

(09:29):
I don't even think late bloomeris a good term, because we're
all on a journey and a lot ofthe things we struggle with are
what teaches us the mostvaluable, most profound lessons.
So, yeah, a part of thatjourney means sifting through

(09:50):
the bullshit to figure out whatfeels right for us.
From what I've experiencedmyself, I've come to believe
that we do need to experiencethe losses, to experience the
definite no's, so that when thedefinite yes shows up, we

(10:18):
recognize it right away.
The thing is, we are alwayssurrounded by somebody who is
telling us what we should want,what would be good for us, what
we should aspire to, and most ofthe times they truly are
well-intended.
And, as I said earlier, we cantake this even further and talk

(10:41):
about it at a cultural orsocietal level.
And what society tells us isvaluable by who is rewarded in
society, who gets therecognition and the accolades,
who gets to be acknowledged andappreciated, who gets seen, who
gets heard, who gets validated.
But we won't go down thatrabbit hole today.

(11:04):
But what we should realize isjust how unique our individual
journeys are and how limited webecome when we allow others'
expectations and the externalpressures, all the background
noise, to guide us.
Want the things we think we wantEssentially, when we are out of
alignment with ourselves, withour passion, with our purpose

(11:38):
with our natural inclinations,what we are naturally inclined
to do, what we feel pulled to,what feels good in our heart,
what our gut tells us.
In the grand scheme of things,our journey is all about the
experiences we create as soulsin this human form.
So why should we limitourselves to the ideals set by

(12:00):
others when the possibilitiesare so unlimited that we can't
even think of them all?
So the next time you feel stuck, go with the option that feels
most true to you.
Deep down, you already know whoyou are and what you're
supposed to be doing.

(12:21):
You just need to remember.
All right, guys.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
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(12:42):
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Until next time, thank you.