July 3, 2024 • 57 mins
Key Takeaways:
- Tune out to tune in. Step out of the matrix to change your world.
- Our dreams are just beyond our comfort zone. But we must be willing to lean into what we fear.
- The importance of movement to help get you centred, especially when shifting your mindset sounds like a challenge.
Celebrity trainer and spiritual advisor Jennifer Pilates shares her incredible journey from a corporate role in the senior living industry to a holistic healing expert after a devastating car accident. In this episode, we explore the profound importance of acknowledging and sitting with our negative emotions, yet remembering the power of intuition and how it can be enhanced through movement, meditation, and mindful practices. Emphasizing the transformative power of physical movement, from walking to dancing, as a vital tool for emotional processing and reconnection with our body, mind, and spirit.
From dictating a book chapter while displaced by a hurricane to using Pilates for spiritual connection, Jennifer reminds us of our innate resilience and creative potential that, can emerge even in the most chaotic circumstances. Tune in to learn practical ways to break through blocks and align with your highest self, whether you're navigating entrepreneurship or personal challenges.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode is a little bit late, but it is still
so relevant and still very muchneeded.
Our health and wellness experttoday is Jennifer Pilates, a
celebrity trainer, intuitivecoach and spiritual advisor.
And this conversation with heris a reminder that it's okay not
to have all the answers.
And when we're having a hardtime it's important that we sit
(00:21):
with that fear, the anxiety, thepain or the grief of that
situation, because we can'tspiritual bypass our way out of
our problems.
So before we meditate or get tothe positive thoughts or
affirmations, before we get tothat mindset shift that we all
want, it's first important thatwe meet ourselves where we're at
(00:42):
, to sit with the heaviness ofour burdens, to allow ourselves
to feel it, but don't stay thereforever.
And Jennifer was great atpointing out another important
piece of this, and that ismovement To physically get out
of the space you're in, changeyour scenery, go for a walk or
(01:02):
do some type of exercise, evenput some music on and dance
around your house for a bit,because the movement itself can
help to alter your state of mind, whether that is bringing in a
sense of calm or elevating yourmood, but most importantly, it
helps us to move those emotionsthrough our bodies.
It helps to get us re-centered,and when we're centered it's
(01:25):
easier to come up with solutionsto our problems.
And the centeredness is whatmakes it possible to get to that
mindset shift.
So if you're someone who feelslike you can't sit still enough
to meditate, or you can't quietyour thoughts long enough to get
into that space of stillness,or you feel like you're in way
too deep right now, you can'tpossibly positive affirmation
(01:49):
yourself through it.
You're drowning and the lastthing you want to hear is
someone telling you to shiftyour mindset or change your
perspective.
Just move your body, becausethere are more than one way to
get there, my friends.
Baby steps, baby steps.
Just go easy on yourself.
(02:16):
Okay, jennifer, how's yourmorning been?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Lovely here, ready here.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think you'll like this Ready.
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
That's perfect.
This will clear out whateverwas, so that whatever needs to
be can be.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yes, I love that.
Okay, let's get started.
That just set the mood Allright.
So, jennifer, I know you'reinto the holistic work, holistic
healing space.
Tell me somewhere about that,how did you get into it?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Well, it's an interesting story.
So back in 1997, I was climbingthe corporate ladder in the
senior living industry.
I'd been in it since I was 15years old.
It's all I knew and all I wasprogrammed to know.
Right To climb the corporateladder and go, go, go, go go,
and you know, get married, have2.5 kids, the whole nine yards.
And so one day I was drivinghome from work.
(03:26):
I was incredibly miserable.
I wasn't happy.
The dynamics as I climbed theladder changed and what I loved
about the job being an advocatefor family, being an advocate
for seniors it became about thebottom line and the numbers.
It became about the bottom lineand the numbers.
(03:47):
And so I was really unhappy andI wasn't quite sure like what
to do.
And boom, on the way home I wasin a horrible car accident,
very traumatic.
Six lanes of traffic and a carcame barreling at me.
I saw it coming, I had nowhereto move and that changed the
trajectory of my life forever.
In that moment in time, I was inand out of doctor's offices for
(04:09):
eight hours.
I was seeing all sorts ofincredible holistic
practitioners as well astraditional doctors.
When this happened, I was in aplace called Boulder, Colorado,
which back then it was the Meccaof alternative health care.
And so this is where I began toexperience all sorts of
different modalities and that iswhere I was introduced to
(04:30):
Pilates.
Ultimately.
I was in so much pain, I had alot of soft tissue damage from
the base of my skull down intomy pelvic region, into my low
back area, and it really made adifference in my world.
And so for one year it reallymade a difference in my world.
And so for one year I rehabbedwith Pilates, as well as other
modalities and and um, justlearning how to connect body,
(04:51):
mind and spirit, which was verydifferent than how I grew up.
I didn't know about any of thiswhere I grew up, um, on Cape
Cod, back in Massachusetts, andso it really changed things for
me.
And then, when I was able to goback to work, I could only work
a few hours at a time, andhere's the kicker I was
specializing in Alzheimer'sdisease.
So when I went back to work andI was surrounded by that
(05:14):
population, no one recognizedthat I still wasn't well.
I didn't recognize that I stillwasn't well and, long story
short, the company, a lot ofdynamics were changing.
They were going public.
I was miserable and we knew weneeded to make cutbacks.
And so I've made a very, veryadult decision at a young age
(05:37):
and I went in and I said youknow what, If someone needs to
go, then lay me off, I'll takethe hit.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
And as crazy that sounds.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah.
The day that, all of a sudden,my big regional director showed
up was like, hey, you want to goto lunch?
I'm like, yeah, totally, hrlady, she was good French.
Like I'm going to come too.
And I was like, oh my gosh, itsounds amazing, right, like the
writing was on the wall for thislunch we go to lunch.
(06:09):
And they're like, well you know.
And so here I am being laid offand I'm like wait, what?
What do you mean?
You don't right.
It was in the ego.
The ego kicked in and was likewait, what happened?
And so it was the best thingthat ever happened to me.
It was wonderful that Iempowered myself one to make
that decision and then to workthrough it.
And then that's when my carsettlement came through, and it
was a little bit of money.
(06:30):
Ironically enough, it was justenough to go to the Pilates
center, which was in Boulder,colorado, which is the Harvard
of all Pilates schools.
So when you really talk aboutthe universe having your back,
the universe was like here yougo.
And so I had been rehabbing forthe year and even a few
instructors really had said youknow, you should really consider
(06:51):
going to the school for this.
And so I didn't even thinktwice.
I just followed those nudgesand my mission in going through
was that if I could help oneperson to not be in pain, to not
feel what I felt, that was mymission.
And now fast forward, 24 yearslater.
I've helped thousands of peoplearound the world and I'm so
blessed to continue to do thatwork and really help people to
(07:14):
heal and to connect on that body, mind, spirit level.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I love that.
That is just.
That's such a brave move,though know what I mean.
It's so hard to switch fromcorporate to following something
that you're more in alignmentwith.
I find that you know, becauseyou're thinking about the bills
and all those things and thechanges and what those changes
(07:38):
might mean for your life.
It's really difficult.
So I think that move you didlike it is so empowering on all
different levels, so empoweringit really was, and it was one of
those things that I didn't sitand think about those or how was
I gonna?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
you know as as that that that entrepreneurship came
out in me and no one else had.
I didn't even know whatentrepreneurship was Like.
I was just like, oh, I'm goingto be a Pilates trainer now and
this is what I'm going to chargeand these are the people I'm
going to help.
And that's just how I went forit, Never thought twice about
what if that was never part ofmy, my thought process, right,
(08:25):
Like nobody had ever been thereyet to go wait, wait, wait, you
know.
And so I just went for it.
Where I have other friends whoare like well, I think I'm going
to be an entrepreneur, I'mgoing to make a business plan,
I'm going to do this, I'm goingto do that.
And while I think that that'sgreat for some people, for me
it's never been that way.
I've had seven Pilates studiosfrom the East coast to the West
Coast, and everyone has justhappened.
And every time I say I don'teven want to say it, I don't
(08:47):
want to jinx myself now, but Iwon't do that again Like I just
it's, it's in me, Like I justlove being an entrepreneur and I
love even more so being able toshow up and help people.
And it was scary, and there arescary moments.
Right there's now.
I have those thoughts of well,how are we going to pay the
bills or what's going to happen?
And you know, as you grow andas you change and as you lean
(09:10):
into what you are afraid of andout of your comfort zone, that's
where your dreams are, that'swhere the magic happens.
And so, you know, I reallyencourage people to show up and
I really help people to feelempowered within.
Whether that's job related,relationship related, health
related.
There's so many different waysfor us to connect within
(09:32):
ourselves, to tune out, to tunein.
When we've been so programmedto let everyone else manage our
world and tell us what we shoulddo, when this, that and the
other thing.
And the moment you step out ofthat matrix which is exactly
what the universe did for me inthat car accident moment, your
whole world changes.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That's absolutely true, and you also said that
you're an intuitive medium.
Do you think that this playedany role in what you did?
Because you know, as anentrepreneur like, of course,
course, there is the basic skillset, right, and then the basic
knowledge that you have to see,but also a part of
entrepreneurship or just anyonedoing any type of business um,
(10:16):
it takes a level of beingconnected to your intuition as
well.
Sometimes you really have tofollow your gut, right?
I mean, a lot of times youreally have to follow your gut,
right?
I mean, a lot of times weshould, because usually our gut
instincts are really, reallycorrect, right?
I think a lot of us justhaven't learned how to tune into
that more.
So, you being an intuitivemedium, how did this play a role
(10:39):
in that new trajectory that youtook?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, well, it definitely expanded.
Yeah, you know, it expanded thegifts because I was truly
tuning in.
I didn't know before that thatthat's what I was like.
I knew, like, oh, I could readoracles or oh, I just knew stuff
.
And it had been like that myentire life.
And when I was able to reallytune in and my gifts became
(11:03):
expansive through that moment intime, that's when I realized I
actually had had these giftsfrom a very, very young age.
And that's it's my superpower,truly being able to just at
times, be able to go yes, no,yes, no.
And when I use this superpowerand helping other entrepreneurs
with their businesses, it's even, it seems way more heightened
(11:26):
when I use it for other people.
Right, when you're doing thingsfor other people, it's way
easier than when you're doingthings for yourself.
And I can remember I was in LAwith a friend and he was going
to be opening up a jiu-jitsuschool Sorry, I didn't mean to
butcher that word and he waslike, yeah, I'm looking at all
these spaces and I was like,okay, like let's just drive
around.
And he'd be like driving downthe road and I'm like it's not
(11:47):
here.
He's like we're not there yet.
I'm like I don't care, we don'tneed to go, it's not here.
And so we went through like 10places in an hour and he was
like that was crazy.
How did you know the one placethat that I had suggested for
(12:11):
him?
But he, even though someonegives you that information and I
always tell people I can giveyou all of the information and
all the clarity it still has toresonate with you and this is
still your journey.
You have free will, so it'sreally important for you to also
follow your guidance, importantfor you to also follow your
guidance.
But this definitely I meancatapulted my intuitiveness, my
healing abilities.
(12:31):
It made me look at JosephPilates, the originated, the
original person that he startedPilates, like in the 1800s, and
it made me look at him in awhole different way as a healer,
not just a trainer orinstructor or a boxer.
He did lots of fun things.
It really changes thetrajectory of how you look at
people and how you watch peopleand it's a blessing, it's a,
(12:54):
it's such a huge blessing to beable to have that and just to be
able to listen to my gut andtrust, like that's really hard.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, it's not easy.
I love everything about whatyou just said, because that is
one aspect of us as human beingsthat it's there to guide you.
It's such a useful tool, butwhat does it take for us to kind
of connect with our intuition?
I know you know we speak aboutmeditation a lot on the podcast
(13:27):
and you know mindfulness, but doyou know of any practices
practical practices per se thatcould help us with connecting or
listening more to our intuitionor bodies?
What do you think about that?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Absolutely.
I really feel it's about againtuning into your body, and for
every person, meditation is very, very different.
Some people truly like atraditional meditation where
they're in quiet and they'reworking with their breath.
For me, meditation is my walksin the morning and the evening,
my meditation is my Pilatespractice.
(14:05):
When I am in my Pilatespractice, everything else goes
away and I'm releasing energyand moving energy, and I find
that to be very, very expansive,and so I really encourage
people to align with themovement.
Is that Pilates?
Is that yoga?
Is that going for a walk?
What does it look like For me?
Definitely with Pilates.
Is that yoga?
Is that going for a walk?
What does it look like For me?
Definitely with Pilates beingable to connect that body, mind
(14:29):
and spirit, because it's a verysomatic practice that no one
ever talks about, because wetruly do work with that breath,
work and really go so deep inour bodies that we're releasing
so much, which then allows theenergy to flow through, which
allows all of your intuitivenessto open up, to be heightened in
all these messages to come in.
(14:49):
So I think that's a great way.
As well, as you know, I'll alsotake moments and lay down and do
more of a traditional practicewith Reiki music and just allow,
um, some people.
Honestly, I always talk to myfriends and I will joke.
I'll be like hey, I was just inthe shower thinking of you and
I got this message Like theshower is an incredible place
(15:10):
for people to get messagesbecause the water is cleansing
you and it's washing away thatouter layer of energy so you can
get clear.
So those are a few places or afew ways.
You know people can also workwith writing and I say you just
start journaling and you canjust like, just start writing
anything and the next thing youknow, words will come through
(15:32):
that you never thought wouldcome through.
So there's lots of differentpractical, easy ways that when
you're going for a walk, likepay attention to you know some
people will call them downloads,hits, whatever you want to call
it.
Pay attention to those littlenudges because there's always
(15:53):
something behind them.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I love that, and everything you said is just true
For me.
Mine is writing.
I get so much insight because,naturally, I've always been a
writer.
So much insight because,naturally, I've always been a
writer.
So naturally, whenever I write,I begin to write things that
(16:15):
weren't even in my mindbeforehand.
So that's where I get a lot ofmy intuitive messages from.
So that's really cool.
Thank you so much.
Sorry, were you going to saysomething?
I?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
was going to say something you remind me of.
I, um, last year I coauthored abook with three incredible
gentlemen and I was reallynervous about it, right, like I
was so nervous, like how could Iwrite?
Like sit and write a book, Likewhat was I thinking?
And it happened in this crazytime where there had, where I
(16:42):
was living at that time, therehad been a hurricane.
We were all displaced, livingin FEMA hotels, like I didn't
know my head from my feet.
I was a mess, mentally intrauma.
And I got the call and they werelike Jennifer, yeah, we need
your chapter now.
And I was like what?
And I'm like, okay, show mustgo, I'll figure it out.
(17:03):
I grabbed my phone, I put in myearplugs and I went for a walk
down by the ocean and I startedI'm going to cry.
I started dictating to myselfand, exactly like what you just
said with writing, there wasstuff that came through that I
didn't know where it came from.
By the time I got back to mylittle hotel room and I
(17:25):
downloaded it and I you know, Iused Descript as a, as an app,
and it printed out everythingthat I had said.
I had a whole book, I didn'tjust have a chapter.
Wow.
And it was so it was messageslike to me from my guys, from
the universe, from, you know,gods and angels, and it was
(17:45):
amazing.
And so I say for people whomight go gosh like I thought I
could never write a book, that'sokay.
You don't have to physicallywrite it.
That might be your way.
It was so impactful, Just likewhat you're saying.
I had no idea and clear only aquarter of it even made it into
the book because there was somuch.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
That is amazing.
That is so amazing.
I totally connect with thatbecause you know, there are some
times when I have writer'sblock or sometimes when I feel a
little bit disconnected.
You know, when you feeldisconnected and you're just
like, ugh, it's not the righttime, like today is not the day,
(18:27):
and I kind of sit down andsometimes I might say a little
prayer or ask for support.
You know, maybe ask for supportfrom my guides, or just sit and
take deep breaths and then I'llwrite, and then things will
just come to me.
You know, like I'll start withsomething I don't know.
(18:49):
I don't know whatever it is thatcomes to mind at first, but
after a while it just begins toflow and these are words that
were not in my brain prior.
You know that I didn't think ofthoughts that I didn't think of
before.
You know it kind of comes as asurprise, like oh wow, where did
(19:10):
that come from?
You know what I mean.
So that is really cool.
It's really cool that you wereable to do that for a whole book
.
So is that the book called theChange?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, yeah, that's the book that I was a part of.
Yeah, that that chapter, and.
And they were like, okay, likewe have to cut this down.
They're like we and I'm like,well, how am I?
I'm like you can't have to cutthis down.
They're like we and I'm like,well, how am I?
I'm like you can't the messageLike.
And it's so funny because whenI read it back, like I have
trouble because I know what issupposed to be there versus how
it ended up, which is fine, um,because there was like so much
(19:48):
more to it.
But yeah, it was an incredibleexperience to one right, get on
that other side of fear, offearing.
How am I going to write this?
And now, not only like it's notlike I was in a comfortable
setting, I was displaced, Ididn't have a home, I never had
written a book before, let aloneco-authored a book, and ended
up doing it in such anincredible way.
(20:09):
That was right for me.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Do you think you will kind of, do you think it's
possible for you to put the restof what you didn't include in
that book into another bookwhich is just your own?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, yeah, I actually have.
You know how they'll say.
Some people will say I havevarious books throughout my
house that I'm reading, you know, and they're here, there and
everywhere, and I do have thattoo.
I have a few books that are inthe works here, there and
everywhere in my house.
And yeah, that's part of it.
So it's, it was an incredibleexperience and a way to go.
(20:46):
I could literally write likefive books in a day.
The way that I did that, oh myGod, it was incredible.
I'm so happy to hear that.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Oh my God, it was incredible.
I'm so happy to hear that.
I'm really glad to hear that.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I hope it inspires people to know that just because
somebody has done something oneway doesn't mean that there's
not another way.
And I always encourage like, ifyou want to do something, go
look at someone who has alreadydone it really well and then
adapt how they've done it to youand bring you into it and so
(21:23):
there you have it.
Like Gabby Bernstein, she and Ihad talked and she was like
yeah, I dictate everything intomy phone.
I'm like you do.
I hadn't thought about thatthat day when I was doing that,
until after the fact, when shehad come back, popped back up
again and I thought, oh my gosh,you know that had been in the
back of my brain, but I didn'treally pay attention, I didn't
(21:43):
really think about it.
I was just so freaked out ofnot having a home, not knowing
how I was going to show up andbe my best self for this
incredible opportunity.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, and it's just being open.
You know, the thing for me is Ihave you know, the podcast is
called the Other Side of Fear,and I'd like people to know that
I still have a lot of fears.
I still struggle withdebilitating anxiety.
I have just learned to managethem well and I still go through
(22:15):
it.
I still have a lot of thingsthat I'm afraid of doing and you
know a lot of things that I'mafraid of.
You know, maybe, goals that thesteps towards taking those.
You know taking those stepstowards those goals.
Sometimes they're still scaryfor me, but from leaning into
(22:35):
the fear, taking those stepsanyway, regardless of how I feel
, I am usually pleasantlysurprised by not only the
results but how expansive theexperience becomes for me.
You realize it's not as scary asyou once thought it was, but
not only that.
(22:56):
There's just so many wonderfulthings to learn when you can
lean into the fear and take thesteps that you need to take,
regardless of how scary you feel, the anxiety that comes up
around it, the thoughts thatcome up around it, around it,
(23:17):
the thoughts that come up aroundit and I love what you said you
being afraid, you weren't inthe best situation and sometimes
it's like that, you know,because I've heard it so many
times oh, I want to be a hundredpercent ready for this, or I
need to make sure that I haveall these things in place before
I take this step or that stepin order to get something done
or go somewhere or do whateverit is that you know needs to be
(23:39):
done.
But there is never a perfectmoment or a perfect time for
anything and the situation isnever a hundred percent right.
Right, but it's to take thatstep, take the next step and see
what happens, and then maybeyou can take another one after
that.
So I love when you pointed thatout, that you weren't in the
(24:01):
perfect situation, you know, itseemed like things were kind of
crumbling around you.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Oh, they were crumbled.
Yeah, it was like they'reliterally hurricane, crumbled it
, nothing.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, things completely crumbled around you,
and I think what I like to callthese moments tower card moments
.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Exactly, exactly, totally, 100% yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
When everything seems like it's falling apart, the
whole building comes crashingdown.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
And I actually say it's really falling together.
Yes, right, and it's happeningfor us.
It's not happening to us.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yes, yes, I love to call these tarot card moments,
because, exactly, you weren't inthe right space, even mentally,
to get this done, in the rightspace, even mentally to get this
done, and then you did what youdid, allowed yourself to be in
that moment.
That kind of puts you in astate of expansion and there it
(25:05):
is, all the information came toyou.
So I love that.
Yeah, that's such a that's suchan amazing lesson.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
There's such an amazing lesson in that it really
is right, because you think ofI'm going to sit and write and
I'm going to have the desk andthe candles going and the ocean
in the background.
And no, I had fighter jetsflying over my head because I
was right outside of an AirForce base.
I had kids screaming.
I mean it was just and again.
(25:33):
It's the unexpected momentsthat are the most beautiful
moments I feel in life.
It's the journey, it's not thedestination.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Exactly, exactly that I want to know.
You know, just touching on thisbeing an intuitive medium how
can we, what insight do you haveas to how we can begin to
transform this fair basedmindset?
Because I think sometimes whenpeople hear transforming your
mindset, it seems like such abig task, you know.
(26:06):
It seems like, well, how am Igoing to change my mindset when
I have this going on in my life?
You know, um, things arehappening around that you know
make you feel uncomfortable andyou feel like maybe you don't
have enough of something, youdon't have enough money and you
have kids to feed and you havebills to pay, and you know a
(26:35):
family kind of speak to peoplesometimes about changing the
mindset.
It seems like how do you expectme to change my mindset when my
life is falling apart?
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I get it.
And again, that's one of againa superpower when I work with
clients, because nine times outof 10, I've been there.
Superpower when I work withclients, because nine times out
of 10, I've been there.
I've had the traumatic caraccident, I've been ripped away
from home from a category fivehurricane.
I've lived in FEMA hotels, I'vehad heart surgery.
I've had family die.
I've had you know it's.
I've had the anxiety and thepain and the debilitating on the
(27:11):
floor, and I think that that'ssomething, one that people
appreciate.
You want to be with someone,whether they're your coach, your
mentor, whatever it is.
You want to be with someonewho's walked your path.
Maybe you're getting divorced,maybe they haven't been divorced
, but they're a child of divorceand they're going to actually
give you the insight of how tohandle the situation.
(27:32):
There's all sorts of differentways, but when you're in the
muck, when you're in the thickof it, whatever it is, that's
when I always say stopeverything that you're doing,
get up, move at literally getout of your space, go for a walk
, do something that's going toclear your mind, but you've got
to get out of the space you'rein.
Literally, just doing that isgoing to change your mindset.
(27:56):
It's that hard and that easy.
And so for you, if you're likeJennifer, well you can go fly a
kite, I don't want to go for awalk, I got you.
Can you get up and can you turnon some music and I don't care
what it is and can you just,like, dance around your house
and yell and scream.
That in and of itself ischanging your body dynamics,
(28:18):
it's changing your neurons, it'schanging the energy which is
changing your mindset.
So it's not always about shallwe sit and go to the
subconscious mindset.
We can do that and absolutelyget to the core of the limiting
belief that you're having.
But first we've got to justshake things up and shift in
minute ways.
(28:39):
So very much like somebody willhave a goal of I want to make a
million dollars and I will say,okay, well, that's really great,
but do you know what to do withit?
Like, do you know how to managethat money?
If you got that today, where isit going?
So it's sort of like having thebigger picture and then back,
(28:59):
walking all the way back andthen starting from here and
going okay, to prepare for thatmillion dollars, I need to start
today and really look at all myexpenses.
I need to really look at howwould I delegate that money and
who am I going to employ tosupport me, because I need more
than an accountant.
So it's because the universecan only help you as much as
(29:25):
you're willing to help yourself.
And so the mindset I mean itsounds crazy, it sounds
difficult, but it's super easy.
And I always tell people themoment again you're in a muck,
you're about to get divorced,you feel hell is, you know,
going to going?
Life is going to hell in ahandbasket.
And you step back for a momentand breathe and go, get real
(29:47):
honest with yourself and sayI've really stayed in something
that hasn't been serving me fora long time now.
And then my next question wouldbe why?
And then the next it's usuallybecause you're supporting other
people, you're worried aboutwhat people are thinking, it's
the kids.
And then it goes well, that'sgreat.
But what about you?
Right, everyone?
(30:07):
You need to fill your cup upfirst before you can take care
of a significant other, yourchildren, your bills, before
anything.
You have to be good and you'vegot to be in alignment.
Literally, a Pilates class canchange someone's mindset.
It doesn't have to becomplicated, but it will be as
(30:29):
complicated as you want to makeit.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
And we're very good at making things complex.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Oh heck yeah, I mean, we're professionals, absolutely
, like you know.
A great example was yesterday.
Yeah, yesterday, I had thishuge launch that I did last week
for this big Pilates programthat's coming up and I literally
was working 24 seven to do it.
And then yesterday I was like Irecognize the energy that I was
(30:58):
holding on so tightly right,Like I wanted to see the, the
metrics of the email who'sopening, who's not, who's
clicking who.
I was actually stagnating thesituation because I was holding
on so tight to this.
So I literally was like that'sit, I'm leaving the house, I'm
going to do something different.
I actually left the town.
I went for a little joy ridethat was shifting the energy,
(31:21):
shifting my mindset and allowingthe energy to flow so the
universe could do its job,versus me trying to sit here
trying to tell the universe howto do its job.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, absolutely.
Those are such great waysbecause sometimes when you feel
like nothing is going right andit's hard, it even annoys you.
Sometimes, when you're justlike, oh, just change your
mindset or just change the wayare you talking about?
(31:52):
Like, do you not see that I'msuffering right now?
Right, it annoys and frustratespeople.
So I am just trying to get athow else can we help that.
That makes it seem a little bitsimpler, seem a little bit more
accessible.
You know, because it's easy tojust say, yeah, change your
mindset, reframe your thoughtsand things like that.
(32:15):
But even for people who knowand who generally meditate and
do all these things, sometimes,sometimes the problem just seems
too big.
You know what I mean.
So I love that.
You you mentioned that like,yeah, maybe you need to dance
for a little bit, you know,maybe you need to go for a
joyride, go for a walk or dopilates, exercise something that
(32:38):
kind of changes the chemicalmessaging in your brain a little
bit.
That can give space forsomething else, make a way for
something else.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
So I love that yeah, and release the fear and the
anxiety and the I don't't know,release that.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And allow right Again .
It's another easy form to tuneout, to tune in to what it is,
that you're not seeing, what itis, that you're not feeling what
blocks you have, and for some,yeah, they are going to be big
blocks, but you choose whenyou're ready, you know.
Just even admitting to yourselfthe little things that, wow,
(33:20):
like that was me, I could changethat.
That's huge.
Give yourself credit.
You might not change it today,but just the fact that you're
recognizing your part insomething you know, and that's
what I would say.
It's the little wins andcelebrating those.
Don't wait till we get themillion dollars.
It's not about the milliondollars.
It's about the millions ofpeople that you are connecting
(33:41):
with along the way.
It's about how you're showingup in this world to serve.
What are you giving back?
How are you helping?
And I always find that, andbeing you know that and being in
gratitude of how you can help.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
That brings everything, everything together
for you.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
That is true, that is true.
So, you know, coming from that,how can we turn because we're
talking about pain and sufferingand change in mindset and all
these things how can we turn ourpain into empowerment?
Because I know, definitely,your suggestion is one really
vital step to beginning to kindof going from oh I'm suffering,
(34:26):
this hurts, I have no idea whatto do, I don't have the answers,
I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'msad, angry and frustrated, I'm
sad, um, anything that we havenot yet mentioned.
I think you mentioned oneimportant part of that, and that
(34:47):
is recognizing our part in it,um, you know, acknowledging and
realizing that in everything alot of the things, most of the
things, right, because of coursethere are also things that are
outside of our control Most ofthe things that happens directly
to us, we have some level ofresponsibility in that and I
(35:11):
think that is a huge one.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
It is really huge right.
And it goes back to you know theold saying of what you put out,
you get back.
So everything that you're doingis, you know, is intuitive to
what you have put out there inthe universe.
And so I always say nine timesout of 10, everything will come
back to a sense of I feel out ofcontrol.
Nine times out of 10,everything will come back to a
(35:36):
sense of I feel out of control.
I don't feel control in thissituation.
I'm scared, I'm now anxious,I'm now panicking because my ego
has taken over and the ego'slike I don't feel safe.
So I'm going to dramatize allof this into the worst case
scenario.
And nine times out of 10, thatworst case scenario, you've seen
it, you've probably alreadybeen through it.
(36:04):
And so when we can sit back andtake that breath and go well, I
got through it before, so whywouldn't you get through it
again?
And then it comes back to ifthe universe, god, whomever you
believe in, got you through itbefore, either A we didn't learn
the lesson, so we've got toreview.
Or B this is definitelysomething new we're going to be
learning.
It's got to be playing out in adifferent way.
(36:26):
There's something else for usto know here.
You know when we can begin toshift again, just little shifts
of the mindset.
This isn't happening.
The hurricane didn't happen tome.
It happened for me.
Guess what?
I was living in a place Ididn't want to live in.
I was miserable, I was sad, Iwas depressed.
Literally, the universe pickedme up and moved me.
I might not have liked where Iwas, but I'll tell you a secret
(36:50):
it was on my manifesting boardfor two years, a place that I
didn't know that I would haveever visited.
Now did I ask to be in a FEMAhotel here?
Nope, but I could have been ina lot worse places.
So it's when you can take thatstep back and that's when
journaling actually can reallycome into place.
(37:10):
You know, and you're writingthings down so you can go back
and review them.
You know, and you're writingthings down so you can go back
and review them, coming intohaving a sense of control.
And what can you control in themoment?
And I say that not from a senseof ego and that you're trying
to like hold on for dear life,but again, you can control if
you choose to go for a walk, ifyou choose to do movement, be
(37:34):
that Pilates, yoga, whateverthat is.
You can choose how you're goingto respond in this moment in
time.
You get to choose if you aregoing to sit in this fear,
anxiety, depression and anger,or are you going to shift that?
And I always tell people, causepeople are like you're so happy
(37:55):
all the time and I'm like no,you know, do I have a Pollyanna
in me?
I'll age myselfAbso-freaking-lutely.
I have a Pollyanna in me.
Does that mean that I don'tever get upset or pissed off?
No, but it does mean that Iallow it.
So if I am pissed off orwhatever angry, I'm going to
allow myself to have that moment.
(38:16):
But the key word is I'm talkingabout a moment, I'm not talking
about a day, I'm not talkingabout a week.
I'm going to give myself amoment to get it out of my
system and then flip it, andthere's a really great, great
way that you can work on this.
So the Navy SEALs this willreally get you.
The Navy SEALs allow 90 secondsto get angry, pissed off,
(38:40):
frustrated, depressed, whateveryou want.
You get 90 seconds.
Go for it.
You better go hard, like, gohard into it, and then you're
going to get up, move yourselffrom the environment you are
going to change.
Go outside, have a drink, washyour hands underwater, something
, and then I want you to sit andgo.
(39:00):
How is this happening for me?
What am I supposed to get outof this Universe?
Show me Then the flip side.
You're happy, you're excited,you've gotten a promotion,
you're getting whatever it isNavy SEALs 90 seconds, 90
(39:21):
seconds of absolute joy,happiness, ride the wave, then
come back to reality and move on, because, guess what?
You just crossed off a superhuge fear moment that you didn't
know you were going to get past.
You know this goal that you'vewanted for forever.
There's something else on thenext side, so you got to keep
(39:42):
going.
When you can begin to work withyour body and your mind and
your breath and to trainyourself on that level, that
inner level, then you reallyhave control, because that's
ultimately what we're, what setus off to begin with, circling
back around lack of control.
(40:03):
How do we get control?
We learn to work with our body.
How do we do that?
It's goes to our emotions,which are connected to our
mindset, and so when we cantrain ourself, then we can be
less reactive and more proactivealong the way when these large
things happen in our life, oreven small things.
(40:23):
Sitting in traffic, you know,you can either get frustrated or
, like I always see somebodylike flying by me or you know,
and I'm like I hope you getwhere you're going safely.
God bless you Right.
Because guess what God I alwayssay God bless you, hope you're
going safely.
God bless you Right, causeguess what God I always say God
bless you, hope you're hoping todo it.
You get where you need to goBecause, guess what?
(40:43):
You just put out a blessing.
That blessing is going to comeback to you and those energies
are on you.
It's all about how you arelooking at the world, and you
can look at it very darkly and Imean we're in some situations
right now, or something I alwayslike to say in my friends like
they, I drive them crazy.
I'm like I am very aware ofwhat's going on in our world,
(41:04):
going on in the world.
I want to know what's going on.
At the same time, I will saybut that's not my reality.
You get to choose what realityyou're going to be in, and that
takes, of course, that's a wholenother, probably a whole nother
podcast.
But you get to choose yourreality each and every day and
each and every moment, you havethe opportunity to change the
(41:26):
trajectory of your life.
Literally every second you arein control.
There are just moments whereyou feel out of control, and
these little tips and tricksthat we talk about and that she
talks about all the time in thepodcast are what help bring you
back, so that you feel incontrol of at least yourself,
because that's all you have, isyou?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
yes, that deserves a snap.
I love it oh my god, I lovethat.
I love that navy seal trainingpractice.
That is so good.
Like, if you're gonna get angry, just be the angriest that you
(42:10):
can be, let it all out.
You got 90 seconds.
Get angry, just be the angriestthat you can be, let it all out
.
You got 90 seconds.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Go for it, yeah.
And then, after the 90 seconds,get real with yourself and go
what am I really angry at?
Yeah, what am I really upsetabout?
And then you'd be like oh man,all right, yeah, it's, it's.
It's a really great opportunityto continue to get to know
yourself, align with yourselfand grow and train your mind.
Yes, and train your mind andtrain your emotions.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
You've got you've got to train your emotions, or your
emotions will run you, yes, yes, Getting control of yourself,
of your emotions, of yourthinking, telling the person
well, you're allowed to feelthat way, right, You're allowed
to feel all the range ofemotions, but you have a choice.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
You know how however long you stay there becomes your
choice Exactly, and it'simportant to not only feel your
emotions, but to move throughyour emotions.
We don't want to stifle themdown, because they will come out
as disease within your body,your mind and your soul.
So we want you to feeleverything.
We want you to move through ittoo and allow it to move through
you and move on.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And you mentioned somethingthat's key and I know we can't
talk about it wholeheartedly inthis show today, but you spoke
about, you know, having a choice.
As I just mentioned, in life weoften feel out of control and
(43:51):
because we feel out of control,we feel like we have no choice
in it.
Right, and you know, especiallywhen you're dealing with things
whereby maybe you feel like orit's perceived that maybe this
thing is completely outside ofyou and it's happening to you,
(44:11):
but even in that scenario, youknow whether it be a car
accident or a natural disasteror maybe a death in the family.
Those are things that you kindof just like yeah, I had no
control over this person dying.
I had.
I have no control over a naturaldisaster, but there are other
(44:32):
parts of that situation where wehave control in how we choose
to respond to the situation, howwe choose to show up among our
family or friends, the nextsteps that we choose to do to
address the situation, stepsthat we choose to do to address
(44:58):
the situation, and that in everyscenario, as bad as it seems
and as out of your control as itseems, there are always
opportunities for you to makechoices that can be more helpful
for you.
So I wanted you to talk aboutthat a little bit, to kind of
(45:20):
clear that up, because I knowthat is something that a lot of
us we suffer from, myself too.
I mean there are so many thingsthat has happened in my life
where it's just like I had nochoice or I had no control over
these things.
These are people that didthings that did bad things and
it hurt me.
But where, in those situations,can we begin to see, or can we
(45:45):
train our minds to see, that wedo have some aspect of control
in that?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Well, a lot of different situations that you
mentioned, and I think the onething that I want to be really
clear of is we're not makinglight of any situation of any
natural disaster of anythingthat's going on in your life, of
anything that has happened.
We're just gonna say to youright now yeah, absolutely not,
because that's probably how itfeels we're in your life of
anything that has happened.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
We're just going to say to you right now yeah,
absolutely Probably how it feelswe're not making light of
anything.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
We do want to help you see that there is a way
through.
Yeah, it probably isn't goingto take you 90 seconds today,
let's be real.
And even if you did, it doesn'tmean that something isn't going
to come back to you from thatsituation and when it does, it's
(46:38):
okay to go wow, I didn't seethat then, but I see it now, so
I'm going to work on it now.
You know, every situationthere's going to be when we can
take a step back from it notnecessarily in the situation,
whether it's a day later, anhour later, a week later, a
(46:58):
month, years, whatever it is Ifwe can say to ourselves what was
the lesson, what did I learn?
What is the blessing?
Because we literally out ofeverything I know this sounds
crazy out of everything there isa lesson and there is a
blessing.
(47:20):
And when we can get there, westill may not like it, but when
we get there, that's growth andthat's really tuning in and
being honest and again bringingit back to you and how you are
in the situation and how you'readapting to it, which again
comes back to the control of it,and that's really hard to work
(47:44):
through to work on.
Things don't happen overnight,I mean for me.
That's why I love to work on asubconscious level.
When you work on a subconsciouslevel, you go and you get to
the root.
You pull out whatever thatangst is, whatever that which is
always an emotional beliefthat's been placed there.
We remove it and we replace itwith what should be there.
(48:07):
So the subconscious work isamazing because, you can go in
and come out, and that's amazing.
Now, not everybody iscomfortable with subconscious
work, and so that's okay.
You can still go through thingson different levels, one peel
back of an onion at a time.
You don't have to devour thewhole thing, right, like, take
(48:30):
what you can where you're at nowand then move on.
And if you and a great exampleis a few weeks ago, um, I read a
book, um about coming from atoxic family, and it's from um,
one of the doctors that I workwith, actually, and I was guided
(48:52):
to read a certain section ofthe book first and I thought,
well, this is really weird.
It was like the end.
But I was like okay, so I readit all and I literally had to
put it, pieces of it down,because I needed to walk away
and absorb, because that was alot and it was very personal to
me in my life and I didn't seeall of that coming right Like
(49:13):
this became therapy in and ofitself, so I could only absorb
so much, then walk away and thenI really, as human beings, we
like to turn things intoknowledge, to try to understand
it.
Right, that's a trauma response.
Yeah, that is a trauma.
So here in the therapy of thebook, I'm like even re going
(49:35):
through trauma.
Now, when I went through thatpiece, it actually became about
what was about to happen in mylife.
It set me up with the tools tobe able to protect myself from
what was about to happen.
Then, when I went back toreread the other portions of the
book, I was like, okay, likethat just makes sense to me.
(49:56):
I've been, but that one piecewas really important.
So when we listen to the nudgesand when we can listen to how
we're feeling in that moment,and if you're in a moment and
you're in a place that you don'tfeel comfortable or you're not
comfortable around people,remove yourself.
Yeah, whether that's literallygetting up and leaving and going
(50:20):
home, or whether that's atleast getting up and going to
wash your hands in the bathroomto determine is this my energy
or am I really picking up Like Idon't want to be here?
And then making a consciousdecision and knowing that that's
okay, you never have to stay ina place that does not feel
right, that you don't feelcomfortable in and, more
importantly, you don't owe anexplanation.
(50:42):
Yeah, that's another traumaresponse, right, like we want to
tell everybody the 12 reasonswhy we can't do something that
comes back from trauma.
There's so much that we've allbeen through, right In our lives
, trauma left, right and center,from the time we were children,
that we don't realize untilwhen we're older and usually
(51:06):
halfway through our lives.
Wow, this is actually a traumaresponse.
I had no idea sitting here andflipping through my phone at
night is actually being in afight or flight and I didn't
recognize that.
It's just getting to know you,it's getting in tune with you,
being kind to you.
(51:27):
We haven't been taughtself-love, self-value and
self-worth, and that is crucialto taking care of you, to
knowing what feels good for you.
When we practice all of that,it's not so much about control
(51:49):
anymore, it's just about beingwith ourselves and being okay
with where we're at in thatmoment, and it's not so much of
holding on for dear life, whichgoes back to whatever trauma
we've experienced, whether itwas a car accident, whether it
was abuse, whether you know.
The list goes on and on.
We've all been there and what'simportant is that we've all
(52:14):
gotten to the other side.
Now everybody's gotten to thatother side in numerous different
ways.
Your way is perfect for you, myway was perfect for me.
So it's what feels good for you, you, what feels right for you
(52:36):
in this moment in time, and thatis what is most important yes,
you're so right on that.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
I love that you mentioned self-love and
compassion.
That is something that we oftenstruggle with having compassion
for ourselves, havingcompassion for where we're at.
You know, we feel like a lot ofthe times when we're in a bad
space, whether physically orjust in our minds, we kind of
(53:13):
make it harder for ourselves.
You know, you kind of get downon yourself and the thoughts
that you have about yourself andthe things that you say and
think about yourself.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
It's just it always goes back to what did I do?
Yeah, because you've beenprogrammed since you were a
child.
People would look at you and gowell, what did you do?
Yeah, because you've beenprogrammed since you were a
child.
People would look at you and gowell, what did you do?
Yeah, when you can really see,at that point in time there were
other people around you intrauma who then were only
reacting to what they knew,which unfortunately brought
(53:47):
trauma onto you and now yourbrain.
So you may be we should ring abell for this you may be the
rule breaker.
You may be the generationaltrauma breaker yeah, and a lot
of people are going through thatright now.
This is a very popular,unpopular thing that's going on
right now.
Call yourself the black sheep,call yourself the goat, call
(54:10):
yourself whatever you want.
Yourself the black sheep, callyourself the goat.
Call yourself whatever you want.
There's a lot of us out thereright now who are like the buck
stops here, absolutely, and thatin and of itself, just saying
that is very empowering.
Acting on it is a whole nothersense of empowering empowering.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
Yes, yes, jennifer, you're.
So you're just hitting all thepoints today.
This is such a goodconversation.
I love it.
Is there anything else thatyou'd like to share?
And you know, just tell usabout your work, about how we
can access your services or whatyou do.
I know you do Pilates and youknow, I know you work to empower
(54:59):
people, so tell us about thatand how people can reach out to
you.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
Thank you.
Well, first, thank you forbeing here.
I'm so honored to be a part ofsuch an amazing community and
this has been such a greatconversation.
You Well, first, thank you forbeing here.
I'm so honored to be a part ofsuch an amazing community and
this has been such a greatconversation, and one that is
delicate and yet sotransformational, empowering at
the same time, and I really hopethat whatever part resonates
with the people that arelistening with you, that that's
(55:28):
what you just take away.
You take away what resonateswith you and that's what matters
most.
And if you'd like to continue aconversation or work with me,
you can head over tojenniferpalatescom.
All the goodies are there andthere will be a special link.
I have a beautiful program thatI mentioned that I launched last
week.
I launched it a few times ayear and it's really about
(55:52):
bringing a community of peopletogether that are looking to
feel empowered, that are lookingand tired of the gimmicks, the
fad diets, the this, the thatit's.
Oh, I'm tired of starting over.
I feel like I don't have enoughtime.
I don't know what to do.
I can't lose these five pounds,and that's what we do.
We spend eight weeks together,we work out together three, four
(56:15):
times a week online and we aresupportive and it's
accountability and people arecoming and they're losing inches
and gaining strength.
They're losing weight andgaining a sense of self and
confidence and empowerment, andso it's an incredible program
and for anyone listening today,we'll have a special link and
you'll receive 20% off if yousign up before Valentine's day,
(56:39):
because this is all aboutself-love.
You want to make sure thatyou're doing something for
yourself, so you can jump overthere and you can join that.
There's coaching, there's thepodcast, there's my book, and if
you just want to say hi or ifyou have a question about
anything that we chatted abouttoday, I would love to have that
conversation with you, andthat's jenniferpilatescom.
Speaker 1 (57:01):
I hope you guys enjoyed this conversation as
much as I did and, as Jennifersaid, take whatever resonates
with you and just be gentle withyourself.
And, on another note, I amloving the feedback I've been
getting so far, so definitelykeep them coming.
We love, love, love, love andvalue your input so much.
And for those of you who wouldlove more content, join our
(57:24):
Patreon community where it getsreal deep, deep.
This episode is a little bit late, but it is still
so relevant and still very muchneeded.
Our health and wellness experttoday is Jennifer Pilates, a
celebrity trainer, intuitivecoach and spiritual advisor.
And this conversation with heris a reminder that it's okay not
to have all the answers.
And when we're having a hardtime it's important that we sit
(00:21):
with that fear, the anxiety, thepain or the grief of that
situation, because we can'tspiritual bypass our way out of
our problems.
So before we meditate or get tothe positive thoughts or
affirmations, before we get tothat mindset shift that we all
want, it's first important thatwe meet ourselves where we're at
(00:42):
, to sit with the heaviness ofour burdens, to allow ourselves
to feel it, but don't stay thereforever.
And Jennifer was great atpointing out another important
piece of this, and that ismovement To physically get out
of the space you're in, changeyour scenery, go for a walk or
(01:02):
do some type of exercise, evenput some music on and dance
around your house for a bit,because the movement itself can
help to alter your state of mind, whether that is bringing in a
sense of calm or elevating yourmood, but most importantly, it
helps us to move those emotionsthrough our bodies.
It helps to get us re-centered,and when we're centered it's
(01:25):
easier to come up with solutionsto our problems.
And the centeredness is whatmakes it possible to get to that
mindset shift.
So if you're someone who feelslike you can't sit still enough
to meditate, or you can't quietyour thoughts long enough to get
into that space of stillness,or you feel like you're in way
too deep right now, you can'tpossibly positive affirmation
(01:49):
yourself through it.
You're drowning and the lastthing you want to hear is
someone telling you to shiftyour mindset or change your
perspective.
Just move your body, becausethere are more than one way to
get there, my friends.
Baby steps, baby steps.
Just go easy on yourself.
(02:16):
Okay, jennifer, how's yourmorning been?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Lovely here, ready here.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think you'll like this Ready.
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
That's perfect.
This will clear out whateverwas, so that whatever needs to
be can be.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yes, I love that.
Okay, let's get started.
That just set the mood Allright.
So, jennifer, I know you'reinto the holistic work, holistic
healing space.
Tell me somewhere about that,how did you get into it?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Well, it's an interesting story.
So back in 1997, I was climbingthe corporate ladder in the
senior living industry.
I'd been in it since I was 15years old.
It's all I knew and all I wasprogrammed to know.
Right To climb the corporateladder and go, go, go, go go,
and you know, get married, have2.5 kids, the whole nine yards.
And so one day I was drivinghome from work.
(03:26):
I was incredibly miserable.
I wasn't happy.
The dynamics as I climbed theladder changed and what I loved
about the job being an advocatefor family, being an advocate
for seniors it became about thebottom line and the numbers.
It became about the bottom lineand the numbers.
(03:47):
And so I was really unhappy andI wasn't quite sure like what
to do.
And boom, on the way home I wasin a horrible car accident,
very traumatic.
Six lanes of traffic and a carcame barreling at me.
I saw it coming, I had nowhereto move and that changed the
trajectory of my life forever.
In that moment in time, I was inand out of doctor's offices for
(04:09):
eight hours.
I was seeing all sorts ofincredible holistic
practitioners as well astraditional doctors.
When this happened, I was in aplace called Boulder, Colorado,
which back then it was the Meccaof alternative health care.
And so this is where I began toexperience all sorts of
different modalities and that iswhere I was introduced to
(04:30):
Pilates.
Ultimately.
I was in so much pain, I had alot of soft tissue damage from
the base of my skull down intomy pelvic region, into my low
back area, and it really made adifference in my world.
And so for one year it reallymade a difference in my world.
And so for one year I rehabbedwith Pilates, as well as other
modalities and and um, justlearning how to connect body,
(04:51):
mind and spirit, which was verydifferent than how I grew up.
I didn't know about any of thiswhere I grew up, um, on Cape
Cod, back in Massachusetts, andso it really changed things for
me.
And then, when I was able to goback to work, I could only work
a few hours at a time, andhere's the kicker I was
specializing in Alzheimer'sdisease.
So when I went back to work andI was surrounded by that
(05:14):
population, no one recognizedthat I still wasn't well.
I didn't recognize that I stillwasn't well and, long story
short, the company, a lot ofdynamics were changing.
They were going public.
I was miserable and we knew weneeded to make cutbacks.
And so I've made a very, veryadult decision at a young age
(05:37):
and I went in and I said youknow what, If someone needs to
go, then lay me off, I'll takethe hit.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
And as crazy that sounds.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah.
The day that, all of a sudden,my big regional director showed
up was like, hey, you want to goto lunch?
I'm like, yeah, totally, hrlady, she was good French.
Like I'm going to come too.
And I was like, oh my gosh, itsounds amazing, right, like the
writing was on the wall for thislunch we go to lunch.
(06:09):
And they're like, well you know.
And so here I am being laid offand I'm like wait, what?
What do you mean?
You don't right.
It was in the ego.
The ego kicked in and was likewait, what happened?
And so it was the best thingthat ever happened to me.
It was wonderful that Iempowered myself one to make
that decision and then to workthrough it.
And then that's when my carsettlement came through, and it
was a little bit of money.
(06:30):
Ironically enough, it was justenough to go to the Pilates
center, which was in Boulder,colorado, which is the Harvard
of all Pilates schools.
So when you really talk aboutthe universe having your back,
the universe was like here yougo.
And so I had been rehabbing forthe year and even a few
instructors really had said youknow, you should really consider
(06:51):
going to the school for this.
And so I didn't even thinktwice.
I just followed those nudgesand my mission in going through
was that if I could help oneperson to not be in pain, to not
feel what I felt, that was mymission.
And now fast forward, 24 yearslater.
I've helped thousands of peoplearound the world and I'm so
blessed to continue to do thatwork and really help people to
(07:14):
heal and to connect on that body, mind, spirit level.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I love that.
That is just.
That's such a brave move,though know what I mean.
It's so hard to switch fromcorporate to following something
that you're more in alignmentwith.
I find that you know, becauseyou're thinking about the bills
and all those things and thechanges and what those changes
(07:38):
might mean for your life.
It's really difficult.
So I think that move you didlike it is so empowering on all
different levels, so empoweringit really was, and it was one of
those things that I didn't sitand think about those or how was
I gonna?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
you know as as that that that entrepreneurship came
out in me and no one else had.
I didn't even know whatentrepreneurship was Like.
I was just like, oh, I'm goingto be a Pilates trainer now and
this is what I'm going to chargeand these are the people I'm
going to help.
And that's just how I went forit, Never thought twice about
what if that was never part ofmy, my thought process, right,
(08:25):
Like nobody had ever been thereyet to go wait, wait, wait, you
know.
And so I just went for it.
Where I have other friends whoare like well, I think I'm going
to be an entrepreneur, I'mgoing to make a business plan,
I'm going to do this, I'm goingto do that.
And while I think that that'sgreat for some people, for me
it's never been that way.
I've had seven Pilates studiosfrom the East coast to the West
Coast, and everyone has justhappened.
And every time I say I don'teven want to say it, I don't
(08:47):
want to jinx myself now, but Iwon't do that again Like I just
it's, it's in me, Like I justlove being an entrepreneur and I
love even more so being able toshow up and help people.
And it was scary, and there arescary moments.
Right there's now.
I have those thoughts of well,how are we going to pay the
bills or what's going to happen?
And you know, as you grow andas you change and as you lean
(09:10):
into what you are afraid of andout of your comfort zone, that's
where your dreams are, that'swhere the magic happens.
And so, you know, I reallyencourage people to show up and
I really help people to feelempowered within.
Whether that's job related,relationship related, health
related.
There's so many different waysfor us to connect within
(09:32):
ourselves, to tune out, to tunein.
When we've been so programmedto let everyone else manage our
world and tell us what we shoulddo, when this, that and the
other thing.
And the moment you step out ofthat matrix which is exactly
what the universe did for me inthat car accident moment, your
whole world changes.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That's absolutely true, and you also said that
you're an intuitive medium.
Do you think that this playedany role in what you did?
Because you know, as anentrepreneur like, of course,
course, there is the basic skillset, right, and then the basic
knowledge that you have to see,but also a part of
entrepreneurship or just anyonedoing any type of business um,
(10:16):
it takes a level of beingconnected to your intuition as
well.
Sometimes you really have tofollow your gut, right?
I mean, a lot of times youreally have to follow your gut,
right?
I mean, a lot of times weshould, because usually our gut
instincts are really, reallycorrect, right?
I think a lot of us justhaven't learned how to tune into
that more.
So, you being an intuitivemedium, how did this play a role
(10:39):
in that new trajectory that youtook?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, well, it definitely expanded.
Yeah, you know, it expanded thegifts because I was truly
tuning in.
I didn't know before that thatthat's what I was like.
I knew, like, oh, I could readoracles or oh, I just knew stuff
.
And it had been like that myentire life.
And when I was able to reallytune in and my gifts became
(11:03):
expansive through that moment intime, that's when I realized I
actually had had these giftsfrom a very, very young age.
And that's it's my superpower,truly being able to just at
times, be able to go yes, no,yes, no.
And when I use this superpowerand helping other entrepreneurs
with their businesses, it's even, it seems way more heightened
(11:26):
when I use it for other people.
Right, when you're doing thingsfor other people, it's way
easier than when you're doingthings for yourself.
And I can remember I was in LAwith a friend and he was going
to be opening up a jiu-jitsuschool Sorry, I didn't mean to
butcher that word and he waslike, yeah, I'm looking at all
these spaces and I was like,okay, like let's just drive
around.
And he'd be like driving downthe road and I'm like it's not
(11:47):
here.
He's like we're not there yet.
I'm like I don't care, we don'tneed to go, it's not here.
And so we went through like 10places in an hour and he was
like that was crazy.
How did you know the one placethat that I had suggested for
(12:11):
him?
But he, even though someonegives you that information and I
always tell people I can giveyou all of the information and
all the clarity it still has toresonate with you and this is
still your journey.
You have free will, so it'sreally important for you to also
follow your guidance, importantfor you to also follow your
guidance.
But this definitely I meancatapulted my intuitiveness, my
healing abilities.
(12:31):
It made me look at JosephPilates, the originated, the
original person that he startedPilates, like in the 1800s, and
it made me look at him in awhole different way as a healer,
not just a trainer orinstructor or a boxer.
He did lots of fun things.
It really changes thetrajectory of how you look at
people and how you watch peopleand it's a blessing, it's a,
(12:54):
it's such a huge blessing to beable to have that and just to be
able to listen to my gut andtrust, like that's really hard.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, it's not easy.
I love everything about whatyou just said, because that is
one aspect of us as human beingsthat it's there to guide you.
It's such a useful tool, butwhat does it take for us to kind
of connect with our intuition?
I know you know we speak aboutmeditation a lot on the podcast
(13:27):
and you know mindfulness, but doyou know of any practices
practical practices per se thatcould help us with connecting or
listening more to our intuitionor bodies?
What do you think about that?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Absolutely.
I really feel it's about againtuning into your body, and for
every person, meditation is very, very different.
Some people truly like atraditional meditation where
they're in quiet and they'reworking with their breath.
For me, meditation is my walksin the morning and the evening,
my meditation is my Pilatespractice.
(14:05):
When I am in my Pilatespractice, everything else goes
away and I'm releasing energyand moving energy, and I find
that to be very, very expansive,and so I really encourage
people to align with themovement.
Is that Pilates?
Is that yoga?
Is that going for a walk?
What does it look like For me?
Definitely with Pilates.
Is that yoga?
Is that going for a walk?
What does it look like For me?
Definitely with Pilates beingable to connect that body, mind
(14:29):
and spirit, because it's a verysomatic practice that no one
ever talks about, because wetruly do work with that breath,
work and really go so deep inour bodies that we're releasing
so much, which then allows theenergy to flow through, which
allows all of your intuitivenessto open up, to be heightened in
all these messages to come in.
(14:49):
So I think that's a great way.
As well, as you know, I'll alsotake moments and lay down and do
more of a traditional practicewith Reiki music and just allow,
um, some people.
Honestly, I always talk to myfriends and I will joke.
I'll be like hey, I was just inthe shower thinking of you and
I got this message Like theshower is an incredible place
(15:10):
for people to get messagesbecause the water is cleansing
you and it's washing away thatouter layer of energy so you can
get clear.
So those are a few places or afew ways.
You know people can also workwith writing and I say you just
start journaling and you canjust like, just start writing
anything and the next thing youknow, words will come through
(15:32):
that you never thought wouldcome through.
So there's lots of differentpractical, easy ways that when
you're going for a walk, likepay attention to you know some
people will call them downloads,hits, whatever you want to call
it.
Pay attention to those littlenudges because there's always
(15:53):
something behind them.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I love that, and everything you said is just true
For me.
Mine is writing.
I get so much insight because,naturally, I've always been a
writer.
So much insight because,naturally, I've always been a
writer.
So naturally, whenever I write,I begin to write things that
(16:15):
weren't even in my mindbeforehand.
So that's where I get a lot ofmy intuitive messages from.
So that's really cool.
Thank you so much.
Sorry, were you going to saysomething?
I?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
was going to say something you remind me of.
I, um, last year I coauthored abook with three incredible
gentlemen and I was reallynervous about it, right, like I
was so nervous, like how could Iwrite?
Like sit and write a book, Likewhat was I thinking?
And it happened in this crazytime where there had, where I
(16:42):
was living at that time, therehad been a hurricane.
We were all displaced, livingin FEMA hotels, like I didn't
know my head from my feet.
I was a mess, mentally intrauma.
And I got the call and they werelike Jennifer, yeah, we need
your chapter now.
And I was like what?
And I'm like, okay, show mustgo, I'll figure it out.
(17:03):
I grabbed my phone, I put in myearplugs and I went for a walk
down by the ocean and I startedI'm going to cry.
I started dictating to myselfand, exactly like what you just
said with writing, there wasstuff that came through that I
didn't know where it came from.
By the time I got back to mylittle hotel room and I
(17:25):
downloaded it and I you know, Iused Descript as a, as an app,
and it printed out everythingthat I had said.
I had a whole book, I didn'tjust have a chapter.
Wow.
And it was so it was messageslike to me from my guys, from
the universe, from, you know,gods and angels, and it was
(17:45):
amazing.
And so I say for people whomight go gosh like I thought I
could never write a book, that'sokay.
You don't have to physicallywrite it.
That might be your way.
It was so impactful, Just likewhat you're saying.
I had no idea and clear only aquarter of it even made it into
the book because there was somuch.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
That is amazing.
That is so amazing.
I totally connect with thatbecause you know, there are some
times when I have writer'sblock or sometimes when I feel a
little bit disconnected.
You know, when you feeldisconnected and you're just
like, ugh, it's not the righttime, like today is not the day,
(18:27):
and I kind of sit down andsometimes I might say a little
prayer or ask for support.
You know, maybe ask for supportfrom my guides, or just sit and
take deep breaths and then I'llwrite, and then things will
just come to me.
You know, like I'll start withsomething I don't know.
(18:49):
I don't know whatever it is thatcomes to mind at first, but
after a while it just begins toflow and these are words that
were not in my brain prior.
You know that I didn't think ofthoughts that I didn't think of
before.
You know it kind of comes as asurprise, like oh wow, where did
(19:10):
that come from?
You know what I mean.
So that is really cool.
It's really cool that you wereable to do that for a whole book
.
So is that the book called theChange?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, yeah, that's the book that I was a part of.
Yeah, that that chapter, and.
And they were like, okay, likewe have to cut this down.
They're like we and I'm like,well, how am I?
I'm like you can't have to cutthis down.
They're like we and I'm like,well, how am I?
I'm like you can't the messageLike.
And it's so funny because whenI read it back, like I have
trouble because I know what issupposed to be there versus how
it ended up, which is fine, um,because there was like so much
(19:48):
more to it.
But yeah, it was an incredibleexperience to one right, get on
that other side of fear, offearing.
How am I going to write this?
And now, not only like it's notlike I was in a comfortable
setting, I was displaced, Ididn't have a home, I never had
written a book before, let aloneco-authored a book, and ended
up doing it in such anincredible way.
(20:09):
That was right for me.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Do you think you will kind of, do you think it's
possible for you to put the restof what you didn't include in
that book into another bookwhich is just your own?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, yeah, I actually have.
You know how they'll say.
Some people will say I havevarious books throughout my
house that I'm reading, you know, and they're here, there and
everywhere, and I do have thattoo.
I have a few books that are inthe works here, there and
everywhere in my house.
And yeah, that's part of it.
So it's, it was an incredibleexperience and a way to go.
(20:46):
I could literally write likefive books in a day.
The way that I did that, oh myGod, it was incredible.
I'm so happy to hear that.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Oh my God, it was incredible.
I'm so happy to hear that.
I'm really glad to hear that.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I hope it inspires people to know that just because
somebody has done something oneway doesn't mean that there's
not another way.
And I always encourage like, ifyou want to do something, go
look at someone who has alreadydone it really well and then
adapt how they've done it to youand bring you into it and so
(21:23):
there you have it.
Like Gabby Bernstein, she and Ihad talked and she was like
yeah, I dictate everything intomy phone.
I'm like you do.
I hadn't thought about thatthat day when I was doing that,
until after the fact, when shehad come back, popped back up
again and I thought, oh my gosh,you know that had been in the
back of my brain, but I didn'treally pay attention, I didn't
(21:43):
really think about it.
I was just so freaked out ofnot having a home, not knowing
how I was going to show up andbe my best self for this
incredible opportunity.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, and it's just being open.
You know, the thing for me is Ihave you know, the podcast is
called the Other Side of Fear,and I'd like people to know that
I still have a lot of fears.
I still struggle withdebilitating anxiety.
I have just learned to managethem well and I still go through
(22:15):
it.
I still have a lot of thingsthat I'm afraid of doing and you
know a lot of things that I'mafraid of.
You know, maybe, goals that thesteps towards taking those.
You know taking those stepstowards those goals.
Sometimes they're still scaryfor me, but from leaning into
(22:35):
the fear, taking those stepsanyway, regardless of how I feel
, I am usually pleasantlysurprised by not only the
results but how expansive theexperience becomes for me.
You realize it's not as scary asyou once thought it was, but
not only that.
(22:56):
There's just so many wonderfulthings to learn when you can
lean into the fear and take thesteps that you need to take,
regardless of how scary you feel, the anxiety that comes up
around it, the thoughts thatcome up around it, around it,
(23:17):
the thoughts that come up aroundit and I love what you said you
being afraid, you weren't inthe best situation and sometimes
it's like that, you know,because I've heard it so many
times oh, I want to be a hundredpercent ready for this, or I
need to make sure that I haveall these things in place before
I take this step or that stepin order to get something done
or go somewhere or do whateverit is that you know needs to be
(23:39):
done.
But there is never a perfectmoment or a perfect time for
anything and the situation isnever a hundred percent right.
Right, but it's to take thatstep, take the next step and see
what happens, and then maybeyou can take another one after
that.
So I love when you pointed thatout, that you weren't in the
(24:01):
perfect situation, you know, itseemed like things were kind of
crumbling around you.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Oh, they were crumbled.
Yeah, it was like they'reliterally hurricane, crumbled it
, nothing.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, things completely crumbled around you,
and I think what I like to callthese moments tower card moments
.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Exactly, exactly, totally, 100% yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
When everything seems like it's falling apart, the
whole building comes crashingdown.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
And I actually say it's really falling together.
Yes, right, and it's happeningfor us.
It's not happening to us.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yes, yes, I love to call these tarot card moments,
because, exactly, you weren't inthe right space, even mentally,
to get this done, in the rightspace, even mentally to get this
done, and then you did what youdid, allowed yourself to be in
that moment.
That kind of puts you in astate of expansion and there it
(25:05):
is, all the information came toyou.
So I love that.
Yeah, that's such a that's suchan amazing lesson.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
There's such an amazing lesson in that it really
is right, because you think ofI'm going to sit and write and
I'm going to have the desk andthe candles going and the ocean
in the background.
And no, I had fighter jetsflying over my head because I
was right outside of an AirForce base.
I had kids screaming.
I mean it was just and again.
(25:33):
It's the unexpected momentsthat are the most beautiful
moments I feel in life.
It's the journey, it's not thedestination.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Exactly, exactly that I want to know.
You know, just touching on thisbeing an intuitive medium how
can we, what insight do you haveas to how we can begin to
transform this fair basedmindset?
Because I think sometimes whenpeople hear transforming your
mindset, it seems like such abig task, you know.
(26:06):
It seems like, well, how am Igoing to change my mindset when
I have this going on in my life?
You know, um, things arehappening around that you know
make you feel uncomfortable andyou feel like maybe you don't
have enough of something, youdon't have enough money and you
have kids to feed and you havebills to pay, and you know a
(26:35):
family kind of speak to peoplesometimes about changing the
mindset.
It seems like how do you expectme to change my mindset when my
life is falling apart?
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I get it.
And again, that's one of againa superpower when I work with
clients, because nine times outof 10, I've been there.
Superpower when I work withclients, because nine times out
of 10, I've been there.
I've had the traumatic caraccident, I've been ripped away
from home from a category fivehurricane.
I've lived in FEMA hotels, I'vehad heart surgery.
I've had family die.
I've had you know it's.
I've had the anxiety and thepain and the debilitating on the
(27:11):
floor, and I think that that'ssomething, one that people
appreciate.
You want to be with someone,whether they're your coach, your
mentor, whatever it is.
You want to be with someonewho's walked your path.
Maybe you're getting divorced,maybe they haven't been divorced
, but they're a child of divorceand they're going to actually
give you the insight of how tohandle the situation.
(27:32):
There's all sorts of differentways, but when you're in the
muck, when you're in the thickof it, whatever it is, that's
when I always say stopeverything that you're doing,
get up, move at literally getout of your space, go for a walk
, do something that's going toclear your mind, but you've got
to get out of the space you'rein.
Literally, just doing that isgoing to change your mindset.
(27:56):
It's that hard and that easy.
And so for you, if you're likeJennifer, well you can go fly a
kite, I don't want to go for awalk, I got you.
Can you get up and can you turnon some music and I don't care
what it is and can you just,like, dance around your house
and yell and scream.
That in and of itself ischanging your body dynamics,
(28:18):
it's changing your neurons, it'schanging the energy which is
changing your mindset.
So it's not always about shallwe sit and go to the
subconscious mindset.
We can do that and absolutelyget to the core of the limiting
belief that you're having.
But first we've got to justshake things up and shift in
minute ways.
(28:39):
So very much like somebody willhave a goal of I want to make a
million dollars and I will say,okay, well, that's really great,
but do you know what to do withit?
Like, do you know how to managethat money?
If you got that today, where isit going?
So it's sort of like having thebigger picture and then back,
(28:59):
walking all the way back andthen starting from here and
going okay, to prepare for thatmillion dollars, I need to start
today and really look at all myexpenses.
I need to really look at howwould I delegate that money and
who am I going to employ tosupport me, because I need more
than an accountant.
So it's because the universecan only help you as much as
(29:25):
you're willing to help yourself.
And so the mindset I mean itsounds crazy, it sounds
difficult, but it's super easy.
And I always tell people themoment again you're in a muck,
you're about to get divorced,you feel hell is, you know,
going to going?
Life is going to hell in ahandbasket.
And you step back for a momentand breathe and go, get real
(29:47):
honest with yourself and sayI've really stayed in something
that hasn't been serving me fora long time now.
And then my next question wouldbe why?
And then the next it's usuallybecause you're supporting other
people, you're worried aboutwhat people are thinking, it's
the kids.
And then it goes well, that'sgreat.
But what about you?
Right, everyone?
(30:07):
You need to fill your cup upfirst before you can take care
of a significant other, yourchildren, your bills, before
anything.
You have to be good and you'vegot to be in alignment.
Literally, a Pilates class canchange someone's mindset.
It doesn't have to becomplicated, but it will be as
(30:29):
complicated as you want to makeit.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
And we're very good at making things complex.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Oh heck yeah, I mean, we're professionals, absolutely
, like you know.
A great example was yesterday.
Yeah, yesterday, I had thishuge launch that I did last week
for this big Pilates programthat's coming up and I literally
was working 24 seven to do it.
And then yesterday I was like Irecognize the energy that I was
(30:58):
holding on so tightly right,Like I wanted to see the, the
metrics of the email who'sopening, who's not, who's
clicking who.
I was actually stagnating thesituation because I was holding
on so tight to this.
So I literally was like that'sit, I'm leaving the house, I'm
going to do something different.
I actually left the town.
I went for a little joy ridethat was shifting the energy,
(31:21):
shifting my mindset and allowingthe energy to flow so the
universe could do its job,versus me trying to sit here
trying to tell the universe howto do its job.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, absolutely.
Those are such great waysbecause sometimes when you feel
like nothing is going right andit's hard, it even annoys you.
Sometimes, when you're justlike, oh, just change your
mindset or just change the wayare you talking about?
(31:52):
Like, do you not see that I'msuffering right now?
Right, it annoys and frustratespeople.
So I am just trying to get athow else can we help that.
That makes it seem a little bitsimpler, seem a little bit more
accessible.
You know, because it's easy tojust say, yeah, change your
mindset, reframe your thoughtsand things like that.
(32:15):
But even for people who knowand who generally meditate and
do all these things, sometimes,sometimes the problem just seems
too big.
You know what I mean.
So I love that.
You you mentioned that like,yeah, maybe you need to dance
for a little bit, you know,maybe you need to go for a
joyride, go for a walk or dopilates, exercise something that
(32:38):
kind of changes the chemicalmessaging in your brain a little
bit.
That can give space forsomething else, make a way for
something else.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
So I love that yeah, and release the fear and the
anxiety and the I don't't know,release that.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And allow right Again .
It's another easy form to tuneout, to tune in to what it is,
that you're not seeing, what itis, that you're not feeling what
blocks you have, and for some,yeah, they are going to be big
blocks, but you choose whenyou're ready, you know.
Just even admitting to yourselfthe little things that, wow,
(33:20):
like that was me, I could changethat.
That's huge.
Give yourself credit.
You might not change it today,but just the fact that you're
recognizing your part insomething you know, and that's
what I would say.
It's the little wins andcelebrating those.
Don't wait till we get themillion dollars.
It's not about the milliondollars.
It's about the millions ofpeople that you are connecting
(33:41):
with along the way.
It's about how you're showingup in this world to serve.
What are you giving back?
How are you helping?
And I always find that, andbeing you know that and being in
gratitude of how you can help.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
That brings everything, everything together
for you.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
That is true, that is true.
So, you know, coming from that,how can we turn because we're
talking about pain and sufferingand change in mindset and all
these things how can we turn ourpain into empowerment?
Because I know, definitely,your suggestion is one really
vital step to beginning to kindof going from oh I'm suffering,
(34:26):
this hurts, I have no idea whatto do, I don't have the answers,
I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'msad, angry and frustrated, I'm
sad, um, anything that we havenot yet mentioned.
I think you mentioned oneimportant part of that, and that
(34:47):
is recognizing our part in it,um, you know, acknowledging and
realizing that in everything alot of the things, most of the
things, right, because of coursethere are also things that are
outside of our control Most ofthe things that happens directly
to us, we have some level ofresponsibility in that and I
(35:11):
think that is a huge one.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
It is really huge right.
And it goes back to you know theold saying of what you put out,
you get back.
So everything that you're doingis, you know, is intuitive to
what you have put out there inthe universe.
And so I always say nine timesout of 10, everything will come
back to a sense of I feel out ofcontrol.
Nine times out of 10,everything will come back to a
(35:36):
sense of I feel out of control.
I don't feel control in thissituation.
I'm scared, I'm now anxious,I'm now panicking because my ego
has taken over and the ego'slike I don't feel safe.
So I'm going to dramatize allof this into the worst case
scenario.
And nine times out of 10, thatworst case scenario, you've seen
it, you've probably alreadybeen through it.
(36:04):
And so when we can sit back andtake that breath and go well, I
got through it before, so whywouldn't you get through it
again?
And then it comes back to ifthe universe, god, whomever you
believe in, got you through itbefore, either A we didn't learn
the lesson, so we've got toreview.
Or B this is definitelysomething new we're going to be
learning.
It's got to be playing out in adifferent way.
(36:26):
There's something else for usto know here.
You know when we can begin toshift again, just little shifts
of the mindset.
This isn't happening.
The hurricane didn't happen tome.
It happened for me.
Guess what?
I was living in a place Ididn't want to live in.
I was miserable, I was sad, Iwas depressed.
Literally, the universe pickedme up and moved me.
I might not have liked where Iwas, but I'll tell you a secret
(36:50):
it was on my manifesting boardfor two years, a place that I
didn't know that I would haveever visited.
Now did I ask to be in a FEMAhotel here?
Nope, but I could have been ina lot worse places.
So it's when you can take thatstep back and that's when
journaling actually can reallycome into place.
(37:10):
You know, and you're writingthings down so you can go back
and review them.
You know, and you're writingthings down so you can go back
and review them, coming intohaving a sense of control.
And what can you control in themoment?
And I say that not from a senseof ego and that you're trying
to like hold on for dear life,but again, you can control if
you choose to go for a walk, ifyou choose to do movement, be
(37:34):
that Pilates, yoga, whateverthat is.
You can choose how you're goingto respond in this moment in
time.
You get to choose if you aregoing to sit in this fear,
anxiety, depression and anger,or are you going to shift that?
And I always tell people, causepeople are like you're so happy
(37:55):
all the time and I'm like no,you know, do I have a Pollyanna
in me?
I'll age myselfAbso-freaking-lutely.
I have a Pollyanna in me.
Does that mean that I don'tever get upset or pissed off?
No, but it does mean that Iallow it.
So if I am pissed off orwhatever angry, I'm going to
allow myself to have that moment.
(38:16):
But the key word is I'm talkingabout a moment, I'm not talking
about a day, I'm not talkingabout a week.
I'm going to give myself amoment to get it out of my
system and then flip it, andthere's a really great, great
way that you can work on this.
So the Navy SEALs this willreally get you.
The Navy SEALs allow 90 secondsto get angry, pissed off,
(38:40):
frustrated, depressed, whateveryou want.
You get 90 seconds.
Go for it.
You better go hard, like, gohard into it, and then you're
going to get up, move yourselffrom the environment you are
going to change.
Go outside, have a drink, washyour hands underwater, something
, and then I want you to sit andgo.
(39:00):
How is this happening for me?
What am I supposed to get outof this Universe?
Show me Then the flip side.
You're happy, you're excited,you've gotten a promotion,
you're getting whatever it isNavy SEALs 90 seconds, 90
(39:21):
seconds of absolute joy,happiness, ride the wave, then
come back to reality and move on, because, guess what?
You just crossed off a superhuge fear moment that you didn't
know you were going to get past.
You know this goal that you'vewanted for forever.
There's something else on thenext side, so you got to keep
(39:42):
going.
When you can begin to work withyour body and your mind and
your breath and to trainyourself on that level, that
inner level, then you reallyhave control, because that's
ultimately what we're, what setus off to begin with, circling
back around lack of control.
(40:03):
How do we get control?
We learn to work with our body.
How do we do that?
It's goes to our emotions,which are connected to our
mindset, and so when we cantrain ourself, then we can be
less reactive and more proactivealong the way when these large
things happen in our life, oreven small things.
(40:23):
Sitting in traffic, you know,you can either get frustrated or
, like I always see somebodylike flying by me or you know,
and I'm like I hope you getwhere you're going safely.
God bless you Right.
Because guess what God I alwayssay God bless you, hope you're
going safely.
God bless you Right, causeguess what God I always say God
bless you, hope you're hoping todo it.
You get where you need to goBecause, guess what?
(40:43):
You just put out a blessing.
That blessing is going to comeback to you and those energies
are on you.
It's all about how you arelooking at the world, and you
can look at it very darkly and Imean we're in some situations
right now, or something I alwayslike to say in my friends like
they, I drive them crazy.
I'm like I am very aware ofwhat's going on in our world,
(41:04):
going on in the world.
I want to know what's going on.
At the same time, I will saybut that's not my reality.
You get to choose what realityyou're going to be in, and that
takes, of course, that's a wholenother, probably a whole nother
podcast.
But you get to choose yourreality each and every day and
each and every moment, you havethe opportunity to change the
(41:26):
trajectory of your life.
Literally every second you arein control.
There are just moments whereyou feel out of control, and
these little tips and tricksthat we talk about and that she
talks about all the time in thepodcast are what help bring you
back, so that you feel incontrol of at least yourself,
because that's all you have, isyou?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
yes, that deserves a snap.
I love it oh my god, I lovethat.
I love that navy seal trainingpractice.
That is so good.
Like, if you're gonna get angry, just be the angriest that you
(42:10):
can be, let it all out.
You got 90 seconds.
Get angry, just be the angriestthat you can be, let it all out
.
You got 90 seconds.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Go for it, yeah.
And then, after the 90 seconds,get real with yourself and go
what am I really angry at?
Yeah, what am I really upsetabout?
And then you'd be like oh man,all right, yeah, it's, it's.
It's a really great opportunityto continue to get to know
yourself, align with yourselfand grow and train your mind.
Yes, and train your mind andtrain your emotions.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
You've got you've got to train your emotions, or your
emotions will run you, yes, yes, Getting control of yourself,
of your emotions, of yourthinking, telling the person
well, you're allowed to feelthat way, right, You're allowed
to feel all the range ofemotions, but you have a choice.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
You know how however long you stay there becomes your
choice Exactly, and it'simportant to not only feel your
emotions, but to move throughyour emotions.
We don't want to stifle themdown, because they will come out
as disease within your body,your mind and your soul.
So we want you to feeleverything.
We want you to move through ittoo and allow it to move through
you and move on.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And you mentioned somethingthat's key and I know we can't
talk about it wholeheartedly inthis show today, but you spoke
about, you know, having a choice.
As I just mentioned, in life weoften feel out of control and
(43:51):
because we feel out of control,we feel like we have no choice
in it.
Right, and you know, especiallywhen you're dealing with things
whereby maybe you feel like orit's perceived that maybe this
thing is completely outside ofyou and it's happening to you,
(44:11):
but even in that scenario, youknow whether it be a car
accident or a natural disasteror maybe a death in the family.
Those are things that you kindof just like yeah, I had no
control over this person dying.
I had.
I have no control over a naturaldisaster, but there are other
(44:32):
parts of that situation where wehave control in how we choose
to respond to the situation, howwe choose to show up among our
family or friends, the nextsteps that we choose to do to
address the situation, stepsthat we choose to do to address
(44:58):
the situation, and that in everyscenario, as bad as it seems
and as out of your control as itseems, there are always
opportunities for you to makechoices that can be more helpful
for you.
So I wanted you to talk aboutthat a little bit, to kind of
(45:20):
clear that up, because I knowthat is something that a lot of
us we suffer from, myself too.
I mean there are so many thingsthat has happened in my life
where it's just like I had nochoice or I had no control over
these things.
These are people that didthings that did bad things and
it hurt me.
But where, in those situations,can we begin to see, or can we
(45:45):
train our minds to see, that wedo have some aspect of control
in that?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Well, a lot of different situations that you
mentioned, and I think the onething that I want to be really
clear of is we're not makinglight of any situation of any
natural disaster of anythingthat's going on in your life, of
anything that has happened.
We're just gonna say to youright now yeah, absolutely not,
because that's probably how itfeels we're in your life of
anything that has happened.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
We're just going to say to you right now yeah,
absolutely Probably how it feelswe're not making light of
anything.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
We do want to help you see that there is a way
through.
Yeah, it probably isn't goingto take you 90 seconds today,
let's be real.
And even if you did, it doesn'tmean that something isn't going
to come back to you from thatsituation and when it does, it's
(46:38):
okay to go wow, I didn't seethat then, but I see it now, so
I'm going to work on it now.
You know, every situationthere's going to be when we can
take a step back from it notnecessarily in the situation,
whether it's a day later, anhour later, a week later, a
(46:58):
month, years, whatever it is Ifwe can say to ourselves what was
the lesson, what did I learn?
What is the blessing?
Because we literally out ofeverything I know this sounds
crazy out of everything there isa lesson and there is a
blessing.
(47:20):
And when we can get there, westill may not like it, but when
we get there, that's growth andthat's really tuning in and
being honest and again bringingit back to you and how you are
in the situation and how you'readapting to it, which again
comes back to the control of it,and that's really hard to work
(47:44):
through to work on.
Things don't happen overnight,I mean for me.
That's why I love to work on asubconscious level.
When you work on a subconsciouslevel, you go and you get to
the root.
You pull out whatever thatangst is, whatever that which is
always an emotional beliefthat's been placed there.
We remove it and we replace itwith what should be there.
(48:07):
So the subconscious work isamazing because, you can go in
and come out, and that's amazing.
Now, not everybody iscomfortable with subconscious
work, and so that's okay.
You can still go through thingson different levels, one peel
back of an onion at a time.
You don't have to devour thewhole thing, right, like, take
(48:30):
what you can where you're at nowand then move on.
And if you and a great exampleis a few weeks ago, um, I read a
book, um about coming from atoxic family, and it's from um,
one of the doctors that I workwith, actually, and I was guided
(48:52):
to read a certain section ofthe book first and I thought,
well, this is really weird.
It was like the end.
But I was like okay, so I readit all and I literally had to
put it, pieces of it down,because I needed to walk away
and absorb, because that was alot and it was very personal to
me in my life and I didn't seeall of that coming right Like
(49:13):
this became therapy in and ofitself, so I could only absorb
so much, then walk away and thenI really, as human beings, we
like to turn things intoknowledge, to try to understand
it.
Right, that's a trauma response.
Yeah, that is a trauma.
So here in the therapy of thebook, I'm like even re going
(49:35):
through trauma.
Now, when I went through thatpiece, it actually became about
what was about to happen in mylife.
It set me up with the tools tobe able to protect myself from
what was about to happen.
Then, when I went back toreread the other portions of the
book, I was like, okay, likethat just makes sense to me.
(49:56):
I've been, but that one piecewas really important.
So when we listen to the nudgesand when we can listen to how
we're feeling in that moment,and if you're in a moment and
you're in a place that you don'tfeel comfortable or you're not
comfortable around people,remove yourself.
Yeah, whether that's literallygetting up and leaving and going
(50:20):
home, or whether that's atleast getting up and going to
wash your hands in the bathroomto determine is this my energy
or am I really picking up Like Idon't want to be here?
And then making a consciousdecision and knowing that that's
okay, you never have to stay ina place that does not feel
right, that you don't feelcomfortable in and, more
importantly, you don't owe anexplanation.
(50:42):
Yeah, that's another traumaresponse, right, like we want to
tell everybody the 12 reasonswhy we can't do something that
comes back from trauma.
There's so much that we've allbeen through, right In our lives
, trauma left, right and center,from the time we were children,
that we don't realize untilwhen we're older and usually
(51:06):
halfway through our lives.
Wow, this is actually a traumaresponse.
I had no idea sitting here andflipping through my phone at
night is actually being in afight or flight and I didn't
recognize that.
It's just getting to know you,it's getting in tune with you,
being kind to you.
(51:27):
We haven't been taughtself-love, self-value and
self-worth, and that is crucialto taking care of you, to
knowing what feels good for you.
When we practice all of that,it's not so much about control
(51:49):
anymore, it's just about beingwith ourselves and being okay
with where we're at in thatmoment, and it's not so much of
holding on for dear life, whichgoes back to whatever trauma
we've experienced, whether itwas a car accident, whether it
was abuse, whether you know.
The list goes on and on.
We've all been there and what'simportant is that we've all
(52:14):
gotten to the other side.
Now everybody's gotten to thatother side in numerous different
ways.
Your way is perfect for you, myway was perfect for me.
So it's what feels good for you, you, what feels right for you
(52:36):
in this moment in time, and thatis what is most important yes,
you're so right on that.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
I love that you mentioned self-love and
compassion.
That is something that we oftenstruggle with having compassion
for ourselves, havingcompassion for where we're at.
You know, we feel like a lot ofthe times when we're in a bad
space, whether physically orjust in our minds, we kind of
(53:13):
make it harder for ourselves.
You know, you kind of get downon yourself and the thoughts
that you have about yourself andthe things that you say and
think about yourself.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
It's just it always goes back to what did I do?
Yeah, because you've beenprogrammed since you were a
child.
People would look at you and gowell, what did you do?
Yeah, because you've beenprogrammed since you were a
child.
People would look at you and gowell, what did you do?
Yeah, when you can really see,at that point in time there were
other people around you intrauma who then were only
reacting to what they knew,which unfortunately brought
(53:47):
trauma onto you and now yourbrain.
So you may be we should ring abell for this you may be the
rule breaker.
You may be the generationaltrauma breaker yeah, and a lot
of people are going through thatright now.
This is a very popular,unpopular thing that's going on
right now.
Call yourself the black sheep,call yourself the goat, call
(54:10):
yourself whatever you want.
Yourself the black sheep, callyourself the goat.
Call yourself whatever you want.
There's a lot of us out thereright now who are like the buck
stops here, absolutely, and thatin and of itself, just saying
that is very empowering.
Acting on it is a whole nothersense of empowering empowering.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
Yes, yes, jennifer, you're.
So you're just hitting all thepoints today.
This is such a goodconversation.
I love it.
Is there anything else thatyou'd like to share?
And you know, just tell usabout your work, about how we
can access your services or whatyou do.
I know you do Pilates and youknow, I know you work to empower
(54:59):
people, so tell us about thatand how people can reach out to
you.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
Thank you.
Well, first, thank you forbeing here.
I'm so honored to be a part ofsuch an amazing community and
this has been such a greatconversation.
You Well, first, thank you forbeing here.
I'm so honored to be a part ofsuch an amazing community and
this has been such a greatconversation, and one that is
delicate and yet sotransformational, empowering at
the same time, and I really hopethat whatever part resonates
with the people that arelistening with you, that that's
(55:28):
what you just take away.
You take away what resonateswith you and that's what matters
most.
And if you'd like to continue aconversation or work with me,
you can head over tojenniferpalatescom.
All the goodies are there andthere will be a special link.
I have a beautiful program thatI mentioned that I launched last
week.
I launched it a few times ayear and it's really about
(55:52):
bringing a community of peopletogether that are looking to
feel empowered, that are lookingand tired of the gimmicks, the
fad diets, the this, the thatit's.
Oh, I'm tired of starting over.
I feel like I don't have enoughtime.
I don't know what to do.
I can't lose these five pounds,and that's what we do.
We spend eight weeks together,we work out together three, four
(56:15):
times a week online and we aresupportive and it's
accountability and people arecoming and they're losing inches
and gaining strength.
They're losing weight andgaining a sense of self and
confidence and empowerment, andso it's an incredible program
and for anyone listening today,we'll have a special link and
you'll receive 20% off if yousign up before Valentine's day,
(56:39):
because this is all aboutself-love.
You want to make sure thatyou're doing something for
yourself, so you can jump overthere and you can join that.
There's coaching, there's thepodcast, there's my book, and if
you just want to say hi or ifyou have a question about
anything that we chatted abouttoday, I would love to have that
conversation with you, andthat's jenniferpilatescom.
Speaker 1 (57:01):
I hope you guys enjoyed this conversation as
much as I did and, as Jennifersaid, take whatever resonates
with you and just be gentle withyourself.
And, on another note, I amloving the feedback I've been
getting so far, so definitelykeep them coming.
We love, love, love, love andvalue your input so much.
And for those of you who wouldlove more content, join our
(57:24):
Patreon community where it getsreal deep, deep.
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Boysober
Have you ever wondered what life might be like if you stopped worrying about being wanted, and focused on understanding what you actually want? That was the question Hope Woodard asked herself after a string of situationships inspired her to take a break from sex and dating. She went "boysober," a personal concept that sparked a global movement among women looking to prioritize themselves over men. Now, Hope is looking to expand the ways we explore our relationship to relationships. Taking a bold, unfiltered look into modern love, romance, and self-discovery, Boysober will dive into messy stories about dating, sex, love, friendship, and breaking generational patterns—all with humor, vulnerability, and a fresh perspective.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com