August 11, 2024 • 61 mins
This week on The Pain In Our Head Podcast, Caleb & Christian get serious and discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Christian advises Caleb on some knowledge and experience with BPD and explains what it's like living with BPD. Listen in as they also gloss over some music and share in a few laughs.
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The Pain In Our Head Podcast is a video and audio series on different mental health issues combined with in depth discussions on music from all genres and styles. Caleb and Christian aim to speak from personal experience of mental health and work in the music industry to provide insight on how music has assisted in managing the personal PAIN IN OUR HEADs.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Pain in Our Head podcast contains themes of course language, adult themes and the discussion
(00:05):
of mental health themes.
Some content may be emotionally challenging.
If you or someone you know is at risk, please visit the description for mental health and
suicide prevention contacts.
Enjoy the show.
(00:43):
What's going on everyone?
Welcome to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
We're back again.
Episode 27.
Guess who's back, back again.
I still haven't finished that.
(01:06):
Tell a friend.
Yeah, still haven't gone back and finished that Eminem album.
Need to do that.
Have you even listened to it?
Fancy pants.
Dance.
Lots of dance.
Welcome to this week's episode.
This week we are finally speaking about BPD.
(01:30):
Big Penis Disorder.
Oh shit.
Damn it, you stole my joke.
Yes.
We are fucking on the same page way too much lately.
We spend too much time communicating.
This week we have been.
A little bit scary.
For the listeners, you've got no idea how often Caleb messages me or I message Caleb.
(01:59):
That's the story in itself.
The amount of times that he'll go to say something and I fucking know what he's about to say.
Sometimes before he even sends a message.
I'm like, oh, Caleb's going to say this and then boom.
It's like, fuck me.
Last night's a good example.
What was the last night?
(02:21):
Went and saw Deadpool.
Yeah, good.
We can talk about it now.
Spoiler alert.
If you do not want to hear any spoilers about Deadpool, skip forward.
All right.
90 seconds.
Couple of minutes.
Could do a whole episode on how good it is.
Oh my God.
The fucking scene where he's going through the montage of the Deadpools.
(02:42):
Oh yeah.
The montage of Wolverines and Henry Cavill.
It's fucking Wolverine.
It's like, ugh.
So cool, right?
Lots of cameos.
Yeah, the cameos were amazing.
So many.
Yeah.
I would say for the most credit scene.
Yeah.
(03:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quite funny.
That was sick.
I fucking didn't even see Old Mate being the human torch.
I didn't see that coming.
No, I look at it.
It set it up for like Captain America.
It did.
It did.
It was like, flame on.
I was just like.
(03:23):
Yeah.
It was a bit disappointing, but at the same time, it was kind of funny.
Oh yeah.
It was like fucking great.
Yeah, great film.
Good music.
All around.
Fucking really good music.
Just the playlist for that whole movie was just amazing.
Like that epic version of Like A Prayer at the end.
(03:44):
It was like the big final scene.
I was just, I was rigid.
Yeah.
I was just like, the first thing I did when I got in the car was like YouTube did and
I was just like, hey.
Yeah, so good.
So good.
Yeah.
Really good movie.
But you were messaging me before the film and just to go back on like, could we read
(04:09):
each other's minds?
And I don't know.
I said something.
I said, I hit you with, I bet you just sitting there with your large bloody soda.
That's right.
You were like, bet you there with your large soda and I was just like, how the fuck does
this prick know?
I'm in the corner.
Oh dude, that was my thought at first.
(04:30):
Like, is this prick showing up?
Like, do we have to get fucking like pranked here?
Like I'm really excited, but that's creepy as shit.
Yeah.
Just like flown like, you know, two hours to surprise you in a movie theater.
That would be something I would do.
That would be amazing.
That would be so amazing.
I would do that.
I would do that.
I would do too.
(04:51):
Yeah.
I dress up though in something random just to scare the shit out of you.
No, I wouldn't dress up.
I'd just walk up behind you and just like grab them cheeks and whisper in your ear.
I didn't think you were talking about my face cheeks.
(05:13):
I wasn't.
I wasn't.
I'd just walk up behind you, two handfuls and just whispering in your ear like.
Squirt 11?
No, no.
I'd grab the cheeks and just be like, welcome to this episode of this week's episode of
welcome to, of the fuck.
That's how it would go actually.
(05:35):
That's how it would go.
I'd fuck myself up.
Welcome to fuck.
What the fuck's going on?
Yeah, that would be cool.
Funny.
Anyway, lots to talk about this week, obviously.
We're going to talk about music as we've already discussed and there's a heap of different
(05:58):
music I want to talk about today.
About 2k as well.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, yeah, there's a heap of different stuff.
Cracking, crack on.
Maybe I should ask, I should ask the questions.
You're the expert here.
So I'll let you lead this.
Fill us all in.
What is BPD?
(06:21):
Already touched on that.
It's big penis.
Just no.
BPD is borderline personality disorder.
So it means my head's fucked.
That's it, end of episode.
Bye bye.
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for listening.
(06:42):
No, BPD is fucked.
It changes everything about the way you think and perceive things.
For someone with BPD, everything is quite black and white at times.
(07:02):
There's no middle ground to a lot of situations, especially like friendships and relationships.
There's no, they just want to be friends or they're having a rough day.
It's either they love me or they fucking hate me.
(07:23):
It's really hard to overcome that, but that's how it is.
That's a big part of it.
Yeah.
That is a very big part of it.
It's very common.
It's a lot more common than I thought.
Health direct.gov, they're saying that one in a hundred adults live with BPD.
(07:46):
So it's more common than you would think.
So that's crazy.
Yeah, BPD is hard to get a diagnosis for because for a long time, sorry, I'm trying to put
my phone on silent, but for a long time, they didn't like diagnosing people with BPD because
(08:12):
it can be quite negative towards the person who's being diagnosed.
There's a lot of stigma around BPD in society and in hospitals.
I got stories about that.
We'll go into that later.
So for someone to get a BPD diagnosis, it can be quite taxing to find out you have BPD
(08:37):
is like, fuck, my life's over.
It's not over.
You can put BPD into remission and it takes a lot of work and a lot of time.
I've come close, I think, a couple of times of not quite qualifying for BPD, but generally
(08:59):
I just slide back into full blown BPD.
What are the qualifications then?
What do those sort of things look like?
We actually need a kind of box.
Qualifications.
Yeah, that's a good way of putting it.
It's a nice way to put it.
Yeah, I guess so.
All right.
(09:20):
So there's nine criteria for BPD.
I didn't know this.
I didn't know that.
Didn't you?
No.
Sorry, go on.
I've explained this to you before.
No, probably.
I'm interested.
I'm interested.
Okay, so there's a criteria checklist, I guess, for BPD and there's nine criteria.
(09:43):
To qualify for a BPD diagnosis, you need to have a pattern of five of the criteria consistently
showing through.
Okay.
So I'm just going to read them out.
It explains it a little bit better than what I can do off the top of my head.
(10:05):
So the first one is frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
So for someone with BPD, it's quite easy for us to think that people don't fucking like
us.
And even if they're not showing any real signs about it, it could just be that they were
(10:26):
too busy to respond to a message that you've sent.
They've left you on read for 20 minutes and you're like, fuck, they hate me.
What have I done wrong?
So you try really, really fucking hard to like cling onto your friends and relationships
and family and all that sort of stuff because you're fucking terrified that people are just
going to abandon you at the drop of a hat.
(10:49):
Then we move on to a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized
by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
So for that one, that comes back to the whole like black and white kind of love hate thing.
There's no real middle ground and it can flow between the two, which is where your favorite
(11:12):
person kind of comes in as well.
People with BPD tend to have a favorite person where you might make a new friendship and
that new friendship becomes your everything for the next month or two.
And then suddenly it's not, it's that quick.
(11:34):
Like you'll message that person every day, all day, all the fucking time for like a month
or two.
And then all of a sudden you just lose interest and they're no longer your favorite person.
So you just stop.
So they go from up here to fucking down here.
Yeah, you're right.
Which obviously hasn't happened with you because it's been like fucking years now and I still
(11:57):
message you.
We just keep messaging more and more and more.
I pass a test.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then we move on to identity disturbance, markedly and persistently unable, unstable
self image or sense of self.
And that kind of looks like not really knowing who you are or what you stand for, what makes
(12:24):
you happy.
Just really not understanding like what makes you you and not putting like value on who
you are as a person.
It's like you, I guess you kind of get lost.
You're like, who am I?
What do I like?
What do I like doing?
Do you kind of fall for making other people happy and doing what other people are doing
(12:50):
to fit in?
Which we've spoken about.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, actually, they kind of just, as you were saying that, I kind of thought, you know,
that's a common, these symptoms are quite common to have with people going through mental
health problems.
(13:11):
So it's interesting to know that you kind of got to take, you know, all these sort of
like, you know, criteria as you call them, to be able to be diagnosed, where, you know,
a lot of people probably have like maybe one or two that, you know, they might struggle
with.
So it's really interesting.
Like you said, we've talked about these sort of things before, you know, so the symptoms
(13:35):
aren't, I guess the word I'm looking for is they're not unknown.
Like they're quite common symptoms of just other mental health issues as well.
So it's really cool.
Yeah, well, it's like, you know, a lot of these criteria, I guess, for all mental illnesses
kind of look like a Venn diagram, essentially.
(13:56):
Yeah.
It's like, you know, you've got a couple of these ones, so you've probably got this, so
it's like these ones are grouped together, so you got that, like they all share very
similar patterns.
It's finding out which one you've actually got.
So yeah, then we've got the fourth criteria is impulsivity in at least two areas that
(14:22):
are potentially self-damaging.
So that would be like examples they've listed are spending money, sex, substance abuse,
reckless driving, binge eating, doesn't include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior though.
(14:42):
They come under another part.
So yeah, I guess it kind of like I've been there with most of these, like you want to
(15:05):
make yourself feel good, so you just recklessly throw yourself into stupid things like, you
know, like, fuck it, I'm just going to buy a thousand dollars worth of clothes because
it's going to make me feel good.
Yeah.
Or I'm going to go hook up with a random person and not use protection because I'm going to
feel good about myself at the time.
(15:26):
Reckless driving, obviously been there, you know, belting along at 260 on my motorbike
because fuck it, why not YOLO?
I don't care.
I'll cut you off there.
I worked the other day at where our loading dock is.
I rocked up to work the other day and there's skid marks.
(15:46):
Someone was doing donuts in the loading area and like good ones too.
I wanted it to be like, what a dickhead, but well done.
Like you did a good job.
It's a perfect fucking circle.
Sorry to cut you off, but it just reminded me of that.
I thought it was pretty funny.
(16:08):
What a place to go and do donuts.
Go back through the video surveillance.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, anyway, sorry.
Oh, you're alright.
And then, but number five, I guess we'll put a trigger warning out of this one.
If you're overly sensitive to dark topics, this next criteria involves it.
(16:36):
So I think you can understand where this is going.
Stop watching, skip forward a couple of minutes.
Number five criteria is recurrent suicidal behaviors, gestures, threats or self-mutilating
behavior.
So I don't think we particularly need to go into explaining what that is.
(16:57):
It's very fucking self-explanatory.
I personally, it was said to me that like my baseline kind of level is suicidal.
So for me personally, if something starts to go wrong, that's my first thought is, oh,
(17:19):
you know what?
Fuck it.
I don't care.
I can just not a problem anymore, which I can't really help that.
That's just how my brain works.
Obviously I don't act on it.
It's just, you know, which is why I've been diagnosed with BPD.
It's just how my brain works.
(17:40):
Yeah.
Like apparently it's not normal for people to have those thoughts at the slightest inconvenience.
Like, oh, fuck it.
So you've been told.
Yeah.
So which is also why it makes it so fucking hard to live with BPD, like having those thoughts
constantly over the smallest or largest of things.
(18:03):
It's fucking tiring.
Caleb's been there for it with me.
Like, you know, it's copped those messages multiple times.
Like, yeah, I feel like this and I want to do this.
And he's like, right, let's talk about it.
So I think it's gotten to the point where it's just like, oh, it's that time of the
(18:24):
week again, is it?
Oh, look, right on time.
Yeah, yeah, good.
Awesome.
So there's a fair chunk there.
Like that's a fair whack to have to be like, you know, you have to be ticking all those
criteria that were not all of them.
You said five, isn't it?
(18:45):
Five.
There's still four to go.
So like, if it's all those five, there's a good chance you'd be diagnosed.
But yes, continue.
Even just looking at the first five that we've spoken about, like fear of abandonment, unstable
or intense friendships, relationships.
I just lost my monitor.
(19:11):
Fuck.
Sorry.
He's back.
Monitor just fucking turned off.
Okay.
Sorry.
So yeah, fear of abandonment, unstable or intense friendships, relationships, blah,
blah, blah.
Identity disturbance, not knowing who you are, what you stand for, what makes you you.
Impulsive actions and then recurrent naughty thoughts and bad behaviors.
(19:38):
Just those five combined, like that's not even a whole list.
Like just laying with those five things.
Like imagine that fucking shit dealing with that every day.
So move on to the sixth one.
Effective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood, which examples are intense episodic
(20:01):
dysphoria, irritability or anxiety, usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than
a few days.
So that's like your whole moods just being completely unstable and irrational.
You could just feel really fucking sad for no reason.
(20:21):
You could feel really fucking happy for no reason.
Anxious, depressed, like you just.
Cycle.
You cop it real fucking hard.
It's like, because we feel shit more.
Yeah, the intensity.
Yeah.
So the intensity that we feel emotions and thoughts is completely blown out of proportion
(20:45):
to what a normal healthy person feels.
Yes.
Okay.
Like, you know, when I went through a breakup and I was messaging you, like trying to explain
to you like how much it actually hurts.
Like, you know, people like, oh, you know, it's just a breakup.
Like there's plenty of fish in the sea.
Like you'll move on, you'll get over it.
(21:05):
It's like, yeah, I know, but at the time it feels like I need to like rip my heart out
of my chest because it fucking hurts.
And all I can think about is like how my world is like crumbling around me.
Like it's intense.
Then we got number seven, which is chronic feelings of emptiness, which is probably the
(21:30):
hardest fucking thing for me to deal with.
Really?
Um, yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
So, yeah.
So talk me through that.
What do you think it means then by that feeling of emptiness?
All right.
So essentially, like I'll use myself as an example here.
(21:55):
It's fucking the easiest one again, obviously for me.
Just use, just use Jim.
Yeah.
So for me, chronic feeling of emptiness has been like, you always feel like something's
(22:23):
missing inside.
You just don't get that fulfillment that everyone else seems to get when you achieve something.
So for me, it was like for years and years, it was a constant cycle of, okay, I've achieved
this.
So what can I do next?
Cause I didn't, I didn't get that satisfaction.
The void inside hasn't been filled for me.
It was, I'll finish high school.
(22:45):
I get a job, got a job.
Didn't feel it.
So, okay, when I get a girlfriend, I'll, that void will be filled.
Got a girlfriend.
The void still wasn't filled.
So, okay.
Well, when I get a real relationship and I'm married, it wasn't filled.
(23:08):
When I have kids, still wasn't filled.
Like just you keep, you feel like something's missing.
Like you just, you just feel empty.
You feel broken.
Like there's just something wrong inside of you.
(23:29):
Like you just, it's like a dissatisfaction, a feeling of dissatisfaction.
It's like a very intense feeling of being dissatisfied.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Without the fault, like obviously cause it's, it's not something that can be controlled
from like what you've been saying.
(23:51):
Yeah.
And you know, in regards to the symptoms.
So, okay.
Cool.
It's just that I got a good understanding of that.
I'm just a listener as well.
I had a good understanding of what that one meant.
That one was the hardest for me because when I was diagnosed with BPD, the person that
I had to go and see after my diagnosis was actually fucking horrible.
(24:16):
It was one of the worst mental health professionals I've ever come across.
I was spoken to other mental health professionals since then and explained like how the whole
experience was for me.
And they were like, dude, I'm so fucking sorry.
You had to go through that.
Oh wow.
Because he was just shit.
He was absolutely shit at his job and really made the situation a lot fucking worse than
(24:41):
it had to be.
Like it was only hard enough being like, Oh look, you got BPD, like have fun.
It was like, and the whole, I expressly explained to him the whole chronic feelings of emptiness
for me was quite a hard thing to deal with.
Like I dealt with it for so fucking long and it was just really painful.
And he was like, well, you know, get used to it.
(25:05):
It's with you for life now.
And I was just like, what?
Oh yeah, nice.
He's like, yeah, that never goes away.
You just got to learn to live with it.
I legitimately went home.
It was like fucking on the way home.
I was planning out what I was going to do to myself.
I was like, no, fuck this.
I'm not living with this.
Like that's how bad this guy was at his job.
Yeah, shit.
So.
Hey, well, that's a big one.
(25:28):
Okay.
So eight.
Number eight.
This is a fun one.
This is actually the one criteria that I don't struggle with anymore.
So I'm I'll grade myself after inappropriate, intense anger, difficulty controlling anger,
(25:54):
frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights.
Right.
So I'm sorry.
I laughed because I didn't realize it was going to be anger after the inappropriate.
I just heard the inappropriate and I was like, what do you fucking mean?
You're not inappropriate.
You're the most inappropriate person I know.
(26:20):
But then he put anger after it.
I get it now.
Yep.
Yep.
So nevermind.
Yes.
Okay.
No.
So that one's another one you don't really need to explain too much, but you need to
understand like I was saying before, the people with BPD experience and feel emotions way
more intensely than normal people.
So like an inappropriate, intense anger would be someone canceled plans on you.
(26:52):
You're going to go see someone in the day they cancel and you just want to fucking blow
up.
Absolutely blow up.
And they might have a legitimate reason for it's like, you know, they feel sick and they
can't hang out with you and it's like, all you want to do is just like blow up and let
them know how fucking angry you are that they've changed plans and all this.
(27:17):
It's just, it's brutal.
And that used to be something I would absolutely struggle with the frequent displays of temper,
the constant anger and the recurrent physical fights.
Like all three of those, I was like the fucking poster child for that shit.
(27:38):
And I'm not anymore.
I'm really fucking chill.
Like, don't let myself get that angry.
I try not to let things bother me anymore.
And you went and listened to episode two of the podcast and that helped.
That helped with your anger.
I thought so.
(27:59):
It's not like I knew what I was talking about before we recorded that episode.
Not like I've been a chilled person for a few years now.
Number nine.
Lucky number nine.
(28:19):
Transient stress related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
That's a big one.
A lot of big words.
There's a lot of big words in that.
A lot of big words in that one.
So just disassociating a lot, I guess, essentially in the stress related paranoid ideation, thinking
(28:53):
that everyone's out to get ya.
Which I fucking struggle with all the time.
All the fucking time.
I always think that someone's out to get me.
And we're not talking, it doesn't always have to be in your head.
It could be as simple as you're at work and you're worried that if you don't do a good
(29:17):
enough job that the boss is just waiting to fucking come down and you're like a ton of
bricks, they're just waiting for you to slip up.
Just thinking the worst of people all the time.
It doesn't have to be like, you know, crackpot kind of like, the government's out to get
me, they're spilling the water with chemicals.
(29:37):
It's not, that does happen.
Those thoughts do happen with some people.
Generally, that's quite, that usually ties in with schizophrenia or someone that's showing
intense paranoia.
(29:59):
But that also can happen.
The people can have those thoughts.
The government are fucking reptiles and they're trying to control their brain.
Yep, do all their aliens.
I watched a movie or a TV series the other day.
You saw the trailer for the new Next Alien movie?
That looked really fucking good.
I haven't watched the trailer yet, but I did see it.
(30:21):
I was watching the Deadpool one.
I was just like, oh really?
Oh, really fucking good.
What did they put on for us?
I had Borderlands, which I'm so excited for.
I didn't think it was that exciting.
I loved the first game, but the movie just doesn't look like it's going to be any good.
It probably won't be.
I think I'm more hoping that it's going to be really good just because I love the game
(30:45):
so much.
But yeah.
So that's the nine criteria to be diagnosed with BPD and you need to have five of those.
For me, I guess to like grade myself at the moment, I would be ticking off seven.
(31:32):
Seven out of nine.
Six, six, seven.
So say you did go and see someone about this.
I tell you, that's usually the recommendation.
If you feel like you've got these symptoms, you want to get it sorted out, you go see
a doctor or you go see someone about it.
Say yeah, okay.
(31:52):
You get told, all right, you tick five of these criteria.
I'm going to diagnose you with BPD.
Here's some things that can help you work on it.
Next one's down the track, you go back and now you're ticking four of the criteria.
It's not just like, okay, congratulations, you're cured.
You only have four out of the nine.
(32:16):
It's not a thing anymore.
I take it that's not the case.
No.
So that's where the whole remission thing comes into play, what I was talking about
before.
Yeah.
So like you can put your BPD into remission.
Like technically you're not ever going to be cured of BPD because anything can set you
(32:38):
off and put you back into having all fucking nine criteria ticked in a matter of minutes.
But you can lessen the severity of a lot of those criteria or you may, like me for example,
with, I used to have massive anger problems now, I just don't.
So you can work on certain things and develop like coping mechanisms and ways to retrain
(33:05):
your thought patterns, which I think the biggest thing that they recommend for people with
BPD is to do DBT.
I don't remember the acronym for it.
(33:25):
BPD is cognitive behavior therapy or talking therapy.
It's designed for people with borderline personality or who have difficulty controlling their emotions.
So that's one of the big things that they recommend that you do.
So actually we haven't actually brought this up yet, but there's no medications to help
(33:49):
with BPD.
There's no chemical fix, even though we've got, sorry, I've got a fucking massive headache
coming on that's killing me.
Even though we've got our chemical balance in our brains different, so we do come under
neurodivergent umbrella terms.
(34:12):
Like technically I'm neuro spicy, I guess, which is like your autism and like ADHD and
all that sort of shit.
But there's no medication for it.
You can go on medication to help with symptoms of it, like as we've explained before in other
episodes, there's certain things that become a symptom of the diagnosis.
(34:40):
So with me, with having BPD, you generally also get stuck with MDD or anxiety, MDD being
major depressive disorder or just flat depression.
MDD is like more intense depression essentially, which is what I've got.
I've got MDD as well as BPD.
(35:05):
So you can be given medication to help with the other things that are part of having the
BPD.
So you're going on anti-anxiety medication or antidepressants just to help lessen some
of the mental load that you're copying, I guess, because it fucking sucks.
(35:26):
Like trying to deal with BPD as well as being depressed and having anxiety, it just makes
it more fucking hard to deal with.
So they put you on medication just to help so you can approach it a little bit more clearheaded.
Ease the load.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Cool.
(35:46):
That's really good.
That's good that there's, I guess, something in place, so that there is something that
can potentially help.
As you said, there's no real cure.
It's not like it's going to be cured, but there are some things out there that can help
(36:09):
if you are struggling with BPD.
It's really cool.
It's really cool.
Yeah.
Ever have anyone like get confused with BPD and bipolar?
Yeah.
All the fucking time.
Yeah.
All the fucking time.
Yeah.
I've got BPD.
Like, oh yeah, bipolar.
No, I don't have bipolar.
They're different.
(36:30):
Yeah, very different, aren't they?
Or, I wouldn't go as far as very different, very similar.
Very similar, yes, I guess so, but in terms of like...
But yeah, still different.
Still quite different, yeah.
There's also, like I said before too, there's a lot of stigma around people with BPD.
Like, I was visiting a friend who had been readmitted to hospital, they'd made an attempt
(36:59):
on themselves, gotten out, and then within like two weeks, tried again and were put straight
back in the hospital.
And literally sitting in the hospital room with this person, two nurses outside the fucking
door, going, oh yeah, no, they just got BPD, like they're just wasting a bed.
(37:19):
We could have someone actually in there who needs that bed.
Thanks buddy, like can clearly hear what you're saying.
Like, pretty good job.
Pretty dismissive.
Yeah.
That's going to really help those symptoms of thinking people are out to get you.
Yep.
And that's a problem that there still is.
(37:43):
This was only recently too, like this was like a year ago that that happened.
Yeah, right.
Yep.
And it's like even with all the leaps and bounds that have been made in regards to BPD,
it's still a fucking big problem.
And like people seem to think too that people with BPD are really hard to get along with
or be in a relationship with because there are people out there who don't work on the
(38:08):
BPD or they're untreated or undiagnosed and it can be really fucking hard to deal with.
You know, you think back to the nine criteria that I've listed off and you imagine living
with someone that's got like the majority of those criteria and has done nothing at
(38:28):
all to work on it.
Like you, you know, that would be a very hard person to be in a relationship with or a friendship
with like they're constantly thinking that they either love or hate you.
They are aggressive as fuck.
They are impulsive, reckless, they're low.
It's like there's just, so when someone says they've got borderline personality disorder,
(38:53):
like people are just, a lot of people are just like, Ooh, no, that's a lot to take on.
So I'm usually don't reveal it straight away.
And when I do reveal it, I've given them enough time to be like, okay, you know, this person's
quite well adjusted.
And it's like, when I do say, look, I've got BPD, I've spent a lot of time learning about
(39:14):
it.
I've spent a lot of time like working on it.
Yeah.
Nothing, nothing to be scared about really.
No, no, you shouldn't.
Like I'm just taking it from, you know, I guess my side or my perspective, you know,
if you do come into contact with somebody with BPD and they let you know that it's not
(39:34):
something to be afraid of, you know, it's just a matter of understanding.
They actually, you know, the more you show your understanding towards it, the better
the outcome will most likely be.
Because I can imagine as soon as you get hit with the, Oh yeah, shit BPD, like I don't
(39:57):
want anything to do with you.
You know, I bet that just spirals, you know, even further backwards the other way.
So and we've talked about that a lot in many different mental health things that we've
talked about, how pushing away is never, never the answer in most circumstances.
So, but we'd love to hear it though too.
(40:20):
If you're listening or watching on YouTube, if you've been in contact or you've had experience
with BPD and you'd like to share, we do have an email.
So, you know, if you feel like you wanted to share an email instead of putting it all
over the YouTube page or in comments and things like that, send us an email if you want to
get in touch.
(40:40):
I think it's pain in our head podcast at gmail.com.
It is listed in the description as well.
So yeah, feel free to do so.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Any questions for me?
No, I don't.
I'm actually, I'm thoroughly educated.
Uh, that was a really good round off of an overview of BPD.
(41:02):
And I think it's definitely something we want to hit later on down the track as well.
Like, you know, maybe go further into, you know, symptoms and things like that.
Yes.
You forgot.
What was this BPD?
Yes.
I know it did kind of, kind of miss kind of that part, but I wasn't sure whether or not
(41:22):
if we went into that, we'd be here forever.
Quickly, quickly knock that out.
They used to think it was, um, trauma related.
Yeah.
BPD was brought on by like a significant traumatic event during your childhood or teenage years
(41:44):
that you didn't quite process.
And then it changed the way that your brain developed and then BPD.
Um, but they've come to realize that it's now like a split between genetic disposition
or traumatic experience.
So you may find that someone in your history has BPD and they passed it on to you.
(42:06):
Ah, right.
Okay.
So some people can be born with the right makeup for BPD.
Might not just develop until later on in life, late teens and early adult life.
Yeah.
Okay.
So for me, I couldn't really tell you.
(42:28):
I think mine's equally split between the two.
I have a genetic disposition towards it.
Like looking back at family members, it's a strong fucking possibility that I was just
born with the right fucking shit for it.
But then also looking at my formative years and like my development, how my childhood
(42:51):
looked and my teenage years looked like it's not a fucking surprise.
Like when I got diagnosed and I was, you know, they asked you just random questions.
I had no idea I was being fucking diagnosed.
They were just asking me like what my childhood looked like, what my high school years looked
like, what my adult years looked like.
And I was just like, oh yeah, it's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
(43:13):
And they're like, BPD bitch.
Fuck.
What's BPD?
Help.
So, but yeah.
So that's, that's what makes someone have BPD.
Like, you just.
Probably why it's so common too now.
(43:34):
Like, you know, I said one in a hundred adults generally have BPD.
So that's crazy.
Hmm.
Yes, I am apparently.
One in a hundred.
No, I meant crazy.
Oh, okay.
Well, you know.
(43:54):
All right.
Word from our fucking sponsors.
My head's killing me.
I need to go take Pennadol before we go into music.
The Pain in Our Head podcast is proudly sponsored by Music Magic Co and Brisbane rock band, The
Flying Circus.
Visit the links in the podcast description for more information.
Back to the show.
(44:14):
Welcome back to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for joining us.
We were chatting about BPD.
Christian gave us some great insight as to what it's like living with BPD and some of
the things that come along with it.
(44:36):
We talked about what it means to get diagnosed and briefly mentioned some things that can
be done to help as well.
So really cool.
Really enjoyed it.
Definitely something we're going to revisit because it's such a big, big thing to cover.
Such a big, important topic to cover, as you said, has quite swept under the bus.
(45:00):
And so.
Yeah, well, that's how I started my TikTok videos was originally doing TikTok videos
on BPD.
Yeah.
I think there's a fair few there where I go through like each individual, like symptom
or criteria for BPD and they end up being like 10 minute long fucking videos, each one.
(45:21):
So if we went really into BPD, we'd be there for a fucking long time and it'd be like
a two or three part episode.
We're not doing that.
We'll come back to it later on and fucking go a bit more in depth into it.
See how this one goes.
If people want to hear more about BPD, leave us a message, send an email, all that shit,
(45:44):
reach out to any of our social media platforms and we'll get right on it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Go have a look at Christian's videos.
It's me Spoon89 on TikTok.
Yeah.
We have a TikTok now.
With that being said, we finally have a TikTok for the podcast.
(46:04):
So jump on, follow that.
I don't really know how TikTok works.
I'm still figuring it out.
So I don't know, go and follow.
I don't know.
Look at the page.
Yeah.
So exciting.
More stuff will be going up on TikTok and YouTube and Instagram and all that sort of
stuff.
So yeah, exciting.
(46:28):
On the break, a video by Drumeo popped up that I watched.
I'm a big fan of Drumeo.
They're a-
Yeah, me too.
Fuck yeah.
Awesome.
Such a good idea.
Like the concept behind it.
Oh yeah.
Well, they do lots of different things too.
Oh yeah, that's true.
Which is really awesome.
Like they grew.
I think it started out really small as just like a way of being able to teach drums online
(46:52):
and like supplying learning packages for people who want to learn how to play drums.
My in-ears, like my in-ear monitors that I use when I'm drumming on stage, they're Drumeo
in-ear monitors.
I bought them from the US and had them shipped over.
They're awesome too, by the way.
Really, really good.
If there are-
Drummer doesn't use them, so fuck whatever.
They're probably deaf.
(47:14):
That's why I got them because I was going to go deaf.
So yeah.
Yeah, what?
What?
Yeah, but anyway, I was listening to this Drumeo video, which only came out 15 hours
ago, and they've got Chad Smith.
He's done a lot of different videos.
They're pretty well known for getting, I guess, high profile to well known drummers
(47:37):
come on and do a video, maybe playing one of their songs or listening to a song they've
never heard before.
Like they just did with Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
And he listened to Bring Me the Horizons, Can You Feel My Heart?
Is that the name of the song?
Yep.
He listened to that for the first time, wasn't told what the song was or who it was by, and
(47:59):
had a crack, like a first take at drumming along to it.
And it was really good.
It was really good.
I think he did a really good job.
So it's always hard listening to a song.
People that don't understand what Caleb's talking about, by the way, they mute the drum
track.
Yes.
So the drummer has the monitors in there.
They're just earbuds, essentially.
(48:21):
So they listen to the track.
Whatever.
For the non-musical people, they've got earphones in and they're listening to a song where the
drum track's been removed.
So and then they make up their own interpretation of how the drums should go to that song.
So it's really fucking cool to hear songs that you know and love, then hearing a completely
(48:47):
different drummer do their take on it.
The chick did the slipknot, before I forget.
That was great.
That little girl, she's like what?
Fucking 11, 12.
And she did, when I'm gonna take, Twisted Sister.
Absolutely fucking nailed the shit out of that.
(49:08):
Awesome.
Some awesome stuff on there.
So really cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pulls the drummer out of their comfort zone, especially in their completely different genres.
And Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Bring Me to the Horizon.
Very two different genres.
All styles.
What about, what was the song they got Phil Collins' son to do?
He did a, I'm pretty sure it was a metal song as well, wasn't it?
(49:32):
Yeah, I think so.
I can't remember exactly.
But yeah, it was really cool.
Yeah, go check out Drumeo.
If you're interested in drums and shit like that, like I am, or just indie music, go check
out Drumeo.
They've got some cool shit.
Anyway, have you got a, figured something you'd like to talk about this week, in terms
of music wise?
(49:56):
I did, and I forgot it.
But then also after seeing Deadpool last night, Like a Prayer by Madonna.
It's a good song.
I love that song, man.
I love that song.
But at the end, when they do like that big epic version with the orchestra and the choir,
(50:21):
it turns a really, really good song into an absolute epic fucking experience.
I could listen to that shit on repeat and probably will after we record, because fuck
yes, it's so good.
My mom loves Madonna and Dolly Parton and all that sort of shit.
(50:42):
So like I grew up on that sort of stuff.
Like Jolene by Dolly Parton, fucking awesome.
Good song.
Yeah.
Written by, shit.
I should know this.
It wasn't written by Dolly.
Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised.
Ah, fuck, it's going to kill me.
(51:03):
I couldn't believe it.
Mylis Cyrus did a cover of Jolene and it's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've heard that one.
And she also did a cover of Like a Prayer, which is also really fucking good.
Like a Prayer, yep.
So yeah, we're going to add Madonna's Like a Prayer to the fucking Spotify playlist.
(51:28):
We are an absolute banger of a track.
Absolutely.
I need to update the playlist that needs to be done this weekend.
I will be updating the playlist.
I think I've said that for like four weeks at a row now, but yeah, I've got to go back
through a fair chunk of episodes and put some more music onto it.
But as far as like, wait a fucking minute.
(51:50):
Oh, dude.
Oh, dude.
Dude.
Dude, is something happening in real time?
What?
Really?
What's just coming out?
Light it up by the offspring.
Get fucked.
Get fucked.
New track off the new album.
Oh, get fucked.
I'll get fucked.
(52:12):
I just opened up iTunes and it's come up as, yeah.
Oh yeah, well, it is too.
It's out.
Yep.
2nd of August.
3rd of August here, but 2nd of August there.
I will be listening to that as soon as we finish doing this.
Oh, I'm so excited.
(52:33):
I think we mentioned a few weeks ago, but the offspring have a new album coming out.
I tell you what, if they tour, we're going.
We're going.
I regret that I did not go and see them like maybe-
I wouldn't fucking go and see the shit out of that.
Eight years ago or something.
And I think I was in the, like I had the tickets.
I had them online.
(52:53):
I was going to purchase them.
And I was like, you know what?
No, I should save the money.
I don't need to spend the money.
Regret, regret, regret, regret.
I should have gone and seen them.
So if they do ever come back to Australia, I'm going to see them because yeah, fuck me.
It was like with me with Lorna Shaw.
I was like, oh, do I want to pay for the ticket?
Do I want to pay for the ticket?
And I finally decided, yeah, I'm going to get a ticket and then they sold out.
(53:16):
And I'm like, fuck.
That's what-
I've got Parkway Drive tickets at the moment.
I got a ticket to go see Parkway Drive over in this mosh pit.
Yeah, well.
And I'm like, fuck yeah.
But then I'm also like, I don't want to go by myself.
But someone that I started chatting to, I think they're going.
(53:36):
Oh, okay.
Nice.
I might tag along with them and be like, hey, let's be friends.
Yeah, nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice.
Oh, cool.
Well, definitely going to give that a listen.
Yeah, that's exciting.
That's the first we discovered something brand new while recording.
During recording.
That's crazy.
I can't believe that.
Ooh.
(53:57):
I'm so excited.
I forgot my train of thought.
I completely forgot.
All I want to do is just go listen to this now.
It's all like I'm fixated on it.
Anyway, it looks cool.
I love the cover art for it that they've got too.
Big skeleton with the lightning bolts coming out of him.
Yeah, well, they've got an official visualizer for it and it looks like 3D animated kind of
thing.
Yeah, okay.
There's an official lyric video as well.
Fuck yeah, nice.
Ooh, that's cool.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
(54:18):
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
(54:49):
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
(55:11):
I'm going to go see that.
Oh, that's cool.
I'm going to go see that.
got a great voice, but I love a lot of their music.
Yeah.
They've got heaps of songs that I could rattle off a heap.
Uh, a common one that a lot of people have probably heard is the Diary of Jane.
(55:34):
Um, that's like down the bottom of the list for me.
Like it's good, but they've got a heap or much more enjoyable songs,
but I love the production.
Um, yeah, could be like, it's not as heavy as what I would like it to be.
Um, but it's a kind of, it's a good mix of not being too metal.
(55:57):
So yeah, great.
But, uh, so cold that is up there with like my top 10 songs of all time.
Yeah.
So, so, so cold by Breaking Benjamin, the Aurora version, they released an album
in 2020 and it was just like acoustic covers of a lot of their different songs.
And what they also did was brought on a heap of different artists to help sing
(56:21):
or help perform that acoustic song as well.
So really, really cool versions.
So the Aurora version is cool, but the originals also awesome.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Great band.
Hmm.
I found them.
I haven't really given them much time.
Haven't you?
Oh gosh.
What should I, what should I tell you to listen to?
(56:43):
Well, blow me a ways from the halo two soundtrack.
Yeah.
Yep.
So that's a good one.
Uh, I will not bow, uh, failure, breathe, dance with the devil.
They're all really, really good songs.
Really, really good songs.
And obviously, yes.
So, so cold angels fall like, yeah, they're the list just goes on for me.
(57:03):
I'm a really big fan.
I actually came across them while listening on Pandora.
You remember Pandora?
It's still a thing, but just not over here and not in, not in Australia.
They don't, it doesn't happen over in Australia anymore.
Yeah.
Weird.
Anyway, but when I found C either, I also found Breaking Benjamin at the same time.
(57:26):
Yeah.
Cause they were in like, in like a shuffle together.
Cause I guess they were in the same sort of style.
So yeah, anyway, that's my music spill.
Thanks for coming.
Let's fucking can it.
Cause I'm going to go listen to the offspring.
Fuck you guys were out.
Yeah.
So we're going to go listen to the new offspring song.
(57:46):
Thank you for listening to this week's episode.
Next week, we're going to talk about romanticizing mental health, uh, and
probably make it a little bit more bubblier than what this week has been.
Cause it's been quite a serious talk this week.
So it's been good, but next week there's going to be a lot more shit talk.
We're going to talk about romanticizing mental health.
So.
Wait a fucking minute.
(58:09):
What have you missed?
We've forgotten something.
We didn't, we didn't talk about the shit talk that we agreed upon.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Cause you went and saw the movie last night and I hit you with one of those.
Uh, that was funny.
That was funny.
If you've made it, this far along the podcast, like, no, I don't think you were.
Why?
What?
I think you're a grub.
(58:32):
I honestly believe you would.
You're a fucking drummer.
You take your shoes off at any chance you get.
I draw me my shoes on.
I hate Caleb.
A picture that I was at the movie cinema.
I had my foot up on the chair.
Cause it was like a dead cinema.
There was like only people behind us.
There's no one in front of us.
There's fucking people.
So I had my foot up, resting my legs out.
(58:52):
He's like, take your shoe off, be a man.
And I was just like, I would actually punch you in the jaw if you were here and you did
that because that's fucking disgusting.
And people do it.
People take their fucking shoes off at the cinema.
Yeah.
And then you've got stinky feet sitting behind your head.
All you can do is just smell a big toe.
You look to your right and there's a fucking big toe right there.
(59:17):
So if you take your shoes off at the cinema, fuck you.
Yeah, we've got to grow up with you.
That's nasty.
It's rank.
Makes me laugh because it's so funny how much Christian gets upset by it.
Oh, it's so gross.
What about, what about if you're, you're a grub?
What about if you're in like a, what do you call them?
Like the, the other sort of cinemas, like not the ones where there's like seats and
(59:39):
like right behind each other.
If you're in like a.
Like gold class.
Yeah.
Like gold class or like one of those sort of ones.
No.
Okay.
What about.
Because I'm eating fucking food.
If some, like, cause when you go to gold class, they bring out like meals and shit
for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, it's, it's the fancy version of going to the cinema.
(01:00:02):
So if you want to be fancy and then take your fucking shoes off, fucking get out of
here.
They're wearing thongs to a cinema.
No, because it just gives them more fucking incentive to like, I'm going to take my
socks off now.
Cause just slip them off and.
Lick them off.
Fuck off.
Get out of here.
It's a very Australian thing to do, I think.
(01:00:29):
Next time you go, someone's behind you and they do it.
And I hope they don't.
I hope they haven't clipped their toenails.
That intense, intense, irrational anger.
That box will be chipped like a motherfucker.
You'll be seeing red.
Oh, it's a fucking good song too.
Architects seeing red.
Oh yeah.
That is a good song.
(01:00:50):
It's a really good song that came up for me the other day.
Yeah.
Nice.
Anyway, I just wanted to have a bit of a piss and moan.
Yeah.
Let's fucking get out of here.
Hilarious.
All right.
Have a good week and catch you next week.
It's okay.
Not be okay.
Bye.
I'm late to speak.
The Pain in Our Head podcast contains themes of course language, adult themes and the discussion
(00:05):
of mental health themes.
Some content may be emotionally challenging.
If you or someone you know is at risk, please visit the description for mental health and
suicide prevention contacts.
Enjoy the show.
(00:43):
What's going on everyone?
Welcome to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
We're back again.
Episode 27.
Guess who's back, back again.
I still haven't finished that.
(01:06):
Tell a friend.
Yeah, still haven't gone back and finished that Eminem album.
Need to do that.
Have you even listened to it?
Fancy pants.
Dance.
Lots of dance.
Welcome to this week's episode.
This week we are finally speaking about BPD.
(01:30):
Big Penis Disorder.
Oh shit.
Damn it, you stole my joke.
Yes.
We are fucking on the same page way too much lately.
We spend too much time communicating.
This week we have been.
A little bit scary.
For the listeners, you've got no idea how often Caleb messages me or I message Caleb.
(01:59):
That's the story in itself.
The amount of times that he'll go to say something and I fucking know what he's about to say.
Sometimes before he even sends a message.
I'm like, oh, Caleb's going to say this and then boom.
It's like, fuck me.
Last night's a good example.
What was the last night?
(02:21):
Went and saw Deadpool.
Yeah, good.
We can talk about it now.
Spoiler alert.
If you do not want to hear any spoilers about Deadpool, skip forward.
All right.
90 seconds.
Couple of minutes.
Could do a whole episode on how good it is.
Oh my God.
The fucking scene where he's going through the montage of the Deadpools.
(02:42):
Oh yeah.
The montage of Wolverines and Henry Cavill.
It's fucking Wolverine.
It's like, ugh.
So cool, right?
Lots of cameos.
Yeah, the cameos were amazing.
So many.
Yeah.
I would say for the most credit scene.
Yeah.
(03:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quite funny.
That was sick.
I fucking didn't even see Old Mate being the human torch.
I didn't see that coming.
No, I look at it.
It set it up for like Captain America.
It did.
It did.
It was like, flame on.
I was just like.
(03:23):
Yeah.
It was a bit disappointing, but at the same time, it was kind of funny.
Oh yeah.
It was like fucking great.
Yeah, great film.
Good music.
All around.
Fucking really good music.
Just the playlist for that whole movie was just amazing.
Like that epic version of Like A Prayer at the end.
(03:44):
It was like the big final scene.
I was just, I was rigid.
Yeah.
I was just like, the first thing I did when I got in the car was like YouTube did and
I was just like, hey.
Yeah, so good.
So good.
Yeah.
Really good movie.
But you were messaging me before the film and just to go back on like, could we read
(04:09):
each other's minds?
And I don't know.
I said something.
I said, I hit you with, I bet you just sitting there with your large bloody soda.
That's right.
You were like, bet you there with your large soda and I was just like, how the fuck does
this prick know?
I'm in the corner.
Oh dude, that was my thought at first.
(04:30):
Like, is this prick showing up?
Like, do we have to get fucking like pranked here?
Like I'm really excited, but that's creepy as shit.
Yeah.
Just like flown like, you know, two hours to surprise you in a movie theater.
That would be something I would do.
That would be amazing.
That would be so amazing.
I would do that.
I would do that.
I would do too.
(04:51):
Yeah.
I dress up though in something random just to scare the shit out of you.
No, I wouldn't dress up.
I'd just walk up behind you and just like grab them cheeks and whisper in your ear.
I didn't think you were talking about my face cheeks.
(05:13):
I wasn't.
I wasn't.
I'd just walk up behind you, two handfuls and just whispering in your ear like.
Squirt 11?
No, no.
I'd grab the cheeks and just be like, welcome to this episode of this week's episode of
welcome to, of the fuck.
That's how it would go actually.
(05:35):
That's how it would go.
I'd fuck myself up.
Welcome to fuck.
What the fuck's going on?
Yeah, that would be cool.
Funny.
Anyway, lots to talk about this week, obviously.
We're going to talk about music as we've already discussed and there's a heap of different
(05:58):
music I want to talk about today.
About 2k as well.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, yeah, there's a heap of different stuff.
Cracking, crack on.
Maybe I should ask, I should ask the questions.
You're the expert here.
So I'll let you lead this.
Fill us all in.
What is BPD?
(06:21):
Already touched on that.
It's big penis.
Just no.
BPD is borderline personality disorder.
So it means my head's fucked.
That's it, end of episode.
Bye bye.
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for listening.
(06:42):
No, BPD is fucked.
It changes everything about the way you think and perceive things.
For someone with BPD, everything is quite black and white at times.
(07:02):
There's no middle ground to a lot of situations, especially like friendships and relationships.
There's no, they just want to be friends or they're having a rough day.
It's either they love me or they fucking hate me.
(07:23):
It's really hard to overcome that, but that's how it is.
That's a big part of it.
Yeah.
That is a very big part of it.
It's very common.
It's a lot more common than I thought.
Health direct.gov, they're saying that one in a hundred adults live with BPD.
(07:46):
So it's more common than you would think.
So that's crazy.
Yeah, BPD is hard to get a diagnosis for because for a long time, sorry, I'm trying to put
my phone on silent, but for a long time, they didn't like diagnosing people with BPD because
(08:12):
it can be quite negative towards the person who's being diagnosed.
There's a lot of stigma around BPD in society and in hospitals.
I got stories about that.
We'll go into that later.
So for someone to get a BPD diagnosis, it can be quite taxing to find out you have BPD
(08:37):
is like, fuck, my life's over.
It's not over.
You can put BPD into remission and it takes a lot of work and a lot of time.
I've come close, I think, a couple of times of not quite qualifying for BPD, but generally
(08:59):
I just slide back into full blown BPD.
What are the qualifications then?
What do those sort of things look like?
We actually need a kind of box.
Qualifications.
Yeah, that's a good way of putting it.
It's a nice way to put it.
Yeah, I guess so.
All right.
(09:20):
So there's nine criteria for BPD.
I didn't know this.
I didn't know that.
Didn't you?
No.
Sorry, go on.
I've explained this to you before.
No, probably.
I'm interested.
I'm interested.
Okay, so there's a criteria checklist, I guess, for BPD and there's nine criteria.
(09:43):
To qualify for a BPD diagnosis, you need to have a pattern of five of the criteria consistently
showing through.
Okay.
So I'm just going to read them out.
It explains it a little bit better than what I can do off the top of my head.
(10:05):
So the first one is frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
So for someone with BPD, it's quite easy for us to think that people don't fucking like
us.
And even if they're not showing any real signs about it, it could just be that they were
(10:26):
too busy to respond to a message that you've sent.
They've left you on read for 20 minutes and you're like, fuck, they hate me.
What have I done wrong?
So you try really, really fucking hard to like cling onto your friends and relationships
and family and all that sort of stuff because you're fucking terrified that people are just
going to abandon you at the drop of a hat.
(10:49):
Then we move on to a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized
by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
So for that one, that comes back to the whole like black and white kind of love hate thing.
There's no real middle ground and it can flow between the two, which is where your favorite
(11:12):
person kind of comes in as well.
People with BPD tend to have a favorite person where you might make a new friendship and
that new friendship becomes your everything for the next month or two.
And then suddenly it's not, it's that quick.
(11:34):
Like you'll message that person every day, all day, all the fucking time for like a month
or two.
And then all of a sudden you just lose interest and they're no longer your favorite person.
So you just stop.
So they go from up here to fucking down here.
Yeah, you're right.
Which obviously hasn't happened with you because it's been like fucking years now and I still
(11:57):
message you.
We just keep messaging more and more and more.
I pass a test.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then we move on to identity disturbance, markedly and persistently unable, unstable
self image or sense of self.
And that kind of looks like not really knowing who you are or what you stand for, what makes
(12:24):
you happy.
Just really not understanding like what makes you you and not putting like value on who
you are as a person.
It's like you, I guess you kind of get lost.
You're like, who am I?
What do I like?
What do I like doing?
Do you kind of fall for making other people happy and doing what other people are doing
(12:50):
to fit in?
Which we've spoken about.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, actually, they kind of just, as you were saying that, I kind of thought, you know,
that's a common, these symptoms are quite common to have with people going through mental
health problems.
(13:11):
So it's interesting to know that you kind of got to take, you know, all these sort of
like, you know, criteria as you call them, to be able to be diagnosed, where, you know,
a lot of people probably have like maybe one or two that, you know, they might struggle
with.
So it's really interesting.
Like you said, we've talked about these sort of things before, you know, so the symptoms
(13:35):
aren't, I guess the word I'm looking for is they're not unknown.
Like they're quite common symptoms of just other mental health issues as well.
So it's really cool.
Yeah, well, it's like, you know, a lot of these criteria, I guess, for all mental illnesses
kind of look like a Venn diagram, essentially.
(13:56):
Yeah.
It's like, you know, you've got a couple of these ones, so you've probably got this, so
it's like these ones are grouped together, so you got that, like they all share very
similar patterns.
It's finding out which one you've actually got.
So yeah, then we've got the fourth criteria is impulsivity in at least two areas that
(14:22):
are potentially self-damaging.
So that would be like examples they've listed are spending money, sex, substance abuse,
reckless driving, binge eating, doesn't include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior though.
(14:42):
They come under another part.
So yeah, I guess it kind of like I've been there with most of these, like you want to
(15:05):
make yourself feel good, so you just recklessly throw yourself into stupid things like, you
know, like, fuck it, I'm just going to buy a thousand dollars worth of clothes because
it's going to make me feel good.
Yeah.
Or I'm going to go hook up with a random person and not use protection because I'm going to
feel good about myself at the time.
(15:26):
Reckless driving, obviously been there, you know, belting along at 260 on my motorbike
because fuck it, why not YOLO?
I don't care.
I'll cut you off there.
I worked the other day at where our loading dock is.
I rocked up to work the other day and there's skid marks.
(15:46):
Someone was doing donuts in the loading area and like good ones too.
I wanted it to be like, what a dickhead, but well done.
Like you did a good job.
It's a perfect fucking circle.
Sorry to cut you off, but it just reminded me of that.
I thought it was pretty funny.
(16:08):
What a place to go and do donuts.
Go back through the video surveillance.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, anyway, sorry.
Oh, you're alright.
And then, but number five, I guess we'll put a trigger warning out of this one.
If you're overly sensitive to dark topics, this next criteria involves it.
(16:36):
So I think you can understand where this is going.
Stop watching, skip forward a couple of minutes.
Number five criteria is recurrent suicidal behaviors, gestures, threats or self-mutilating
behavior.
So I don't think we particularly need to go into explaining what that is.
(16:57):
It's very fucking self-explanatory.
I personally, it was said to me that like my baseline kind of level is suicidal.
So for me personally, if something starts to go wrong, that's my first thought is, oh,
(17:19):
you know what?
Fuck it.
I don't care.
I can just not a problem anymore, which I can't really help that.
That's just how my brain works.
Obviously I don't act on it.
It's just, you know, which is why I've been diagnosed with BPD.
It's just how my brain works.
(17:40):
Yeah.
Like apparently it's not normal for people to have those thoughts at the slightest inconvenience.
Like, oh, fuck it.
So you've been told.
Yeah.
So which is also why it makes it so fucking hard to live with BPD, like having those thoughts
constantly over the smallest or largest of things.
(18:03):
It's fucking tiring.
Caleb's been there for it with me.
Like, you know, it's copped those messages multiple times.
Like, yeah, I feel like this and I want to do this.
And he's like, right, let's talk about it.
So I think it's gotten to the point where it's just like, oh, it's that time of the
(18:24):
week again, is it?
Oh, look, right on time.
Yeah, yeah, good.
Awesome.
So there's a fair chunk there.
Like that's a fair whack to have to be like, you know, you have to be ticking all those
criteria that were not all of them.
You said five, isn't it?
(18:45):
Five.
There's still four to go.
So like, if it's all those five, there's a good chance you'd be diagnosed.
But yes, continue.
Even just looking at the first five that we've spoken about, like fear of abandonment, unstable
or intense friendships, relationships.
I just lost my monitor.
(19:11):
Fuck.
Sorry.
He's back.
Monitor just fucking turned off.
Okay.
Sorry.
So yeah, fear of abandonment, unstable or intense friendships, relationships, blah,
blah, blah.
Identity disturbance, not knowing who you are, what you stand for, what makes you you.
Impulsive actions and then recurrent naughty thoughts and bad behaviors.
(19:38):
Just those five combined, like that's not even a whole list.
Like just laying with those five things.
Like imagine that fucking shit dealing with that every day.
So move on to the sixth one.
Effective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood, which examples are intense episodic
(20:01):
dysphoria, irritability or anxiety, usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than
a few days.
So that's like your whole moods just being completely unstable and irrational.
You could just feel really fucking sad for no reason.
(20:21):
You could feel really fucking happy for no reason.
Anxious, depressed, like you just.
Cycle.
You cop it real fucking hard.
It's like, because we feel shit more.
Yeah, the intensity.
Yeah.
So the intensity that we feel emotions and thoughts is completely blown out of proportion
(20:45):
to what a normal healthy person feels.
Yes.
Okay.
Like, you know, when I went through a breakup and I was messaging you, like trying to explain
to you like how much it actually hurts.
Like, you know, people like, oh, you know, it's just a breakup.
Like there's plenty of fish in the sea.
Like you'll move on, you'll get over it.
(21:05):
It's like, yeah, I know, but at the time it feels like I need to like rip my heart out
of my chest because it fucking hurts.
And all I can think about is like how my world is like crumbling around me.
Like it's intense.
Then we got number seven, which is chronic feelings of emptiness, which is probably the
(21:30):
hardest fucking thing for me to deal with.
Really?
Um, yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
So, yeah.
So talk me through that.
What do you think it means then by that feeling of emptiness?
All right.
So essentially, like I'll use myself as an example here.
(21:55):
It's fucking the easiest one again, obviously for me.
Just use, just use Jim.
Yeah.
So for me, chronic feeling of emptiness has been like, you always feel like something's
(22:23):
missing inside.
You just don't get that fulfillment that everyone else seems to get when you achieve something.
So for me, it was like for years and years, it was a constant cycle of, okay, I've achieved
this.
So what can I do next?
Cause I didn't, I didn't get that satisfaction.
The void inside hasn't been filled for me.
It was, I'll finish high school.
(22:45):
I get a job, got a job.
Didn't feel it.
So, okay, when I get a girlfriend, I'll, that void will be filled.
Got a girlfriend.
The void still wasn't filled.
So, okay.
Well, when I get a real relationship and I'm married, it wasn't filled.
(23:08):
When I have kids, still wasn't filled.
Like just you keep, you feel like something's missing.
Like you just, you just feel empty.
You feel broken.
Like there's just something wrong inside of you.
(23:29):
Like you just, it's like a dissatisfaction, a feeling of dissatisfaction.
It's like a very intense feeling of being dissatisfied.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Without the fault, like obviously cause it's, it's not something that can be controlled
from like what you've been saying.
(23:51):
Yeah.
And you know, in regards to the symptoms.
So, okay.
Cool.
It's just that I got a good understanding of that.
I'm just a listener as well.
I had a good understanding of what that one meant.
That one was the hardest for me because when I was diagnosed with BPD, the person that
I had to go and see after my diagnosis was actually fucking horrible.
(24:16):
It was one of the worst mental health professionals I've ever come across.
I was spoken to other mental health professionals since then and explained like how the whole
experience was for me.
And they were like, dude, I'm so fucking sorry.
You had to go through that.
Oh wow.
Because he was just shit.
He was absolutely shit at his job and really made the situation a lot fucking worse than
(24:41):
it had to be.
Like it was only hard enough being like, Oh look, you got BPD, like have fun.
It was like, and the whole, I expressly explained to him the whole chronic feelings of emptiness
for me was quite a hard thing to deal with.
Like I dealt with it for so fucking long and it was just really painful.
And he was like, well, you know, get used to it.
(25:05):
It's with you for life now.
And I was just like, what?
Oh yeah, nice.
He's like, yeah, that never goes away.
You just got to learn to live with it.
I legitimately went home.
It was like fucking on the way home.
I was planning out what I was going to do to myself.
I was like, no, fuck this.
I'm not living with this.
Like that's how bad this guy was at his job.
Yeah, shit.
So.
Hey, well, that's a big one.
(25:28):
Okay.
So eight.
Number eight.
This is a fun one.
This is actually the one criteria that I don't struggle with anymore.
So I'm I'll grade myself after inappropriate, intense anger, difficulty controlling anger,
(25:54):
frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights.
Right.
So I'm sorry.
I laughed because I didn't realize it was going to be anger after the inappropriate.
I just heard the inappropriate and I was like, what do you fucking mean?
You're not inappropriate.
You're the most inappropriate person I know.
(26:20):
But then he put anger after it.
I get it now.
Yep.
Yep.
So nevermind.
Yes.
Okay.
No.
So that one's another one you don't really need to explain too much, but you need to
understand like I was saying before, the people with BPD experience and feel emotions way
more intensely than normal people.
So like an inappropriate, intense anger would be someone canceled plans on you.
(26:52):
You're going to go see someone in the day they cancel and you just want to fucking blow
up.
Absolutely blow up.
And they might have a legitimate reason for it's like, you know, they feel sick and they
can't hang out with you and it's like, all you want to do is just like blow up and let
them know how fucking angry you are that they've changed plans and all this.
(27:17):
It's just, it's brutal.
And that used to be something I would absolutely struggle with the frequent displays of temper,
the constant anger and the recurrent physical fights.
Like all three of those, I was like the fucking poster child for that shit.
(27:38):
And I'm not anymore.
I'm really fucking chill.
Like, don't let myself get that angry.
I try not to let things bother me anymore.
And you went and listened to episode two of the podcast and that helped.
That helped with your anger.
I thought so.
(27:59):
It's not like I knew what I was talking about before we recorded that episode.
Not like I've been a chilled person for a few years now.
Number nine.
Lucky number nine.
(28:19):
Transient stress related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
That's a big one.
A lot of big words.
There's a lot of big words in that.
A lot of big words in that one.
So just disassociating a lot, I guess, essentially in the stress related paranoid ideation, thinking
(28:53):
that everyone's out to get ya.
Which I fucking struggle with all the time.
All the fucking time.
I always think that someone's out to get me.
And we're not talking, it doesn't always have to be in your head.
It could be as simple as you're at work and you're worried that if you don't do a good
(29:17):
enough job that the boss is just waiting to fucking come down and you're like a ton of
bricks, they're just waiting for you to slip up.
Just thinking the worst of people all the time.
It doesn't have to be like, you know, crackpot kind of like, the government's out to get
me, they're spilling the water with chemicals.
(29:37):
It's not, that does happen.
Those thoughts do happen with some people.
Generally, that's quite, that usually ties in with schizophrenia or someone that's showing
intense paranoia.
(29:59):
But that also can happen.
The people can have those thoughts.
The government are fucking reptiles and they're trying to control their brain.
Yep, do all their aliens.
I watched a movie or a TV series the other day.
You saw the trailer for the new Next Alien movie?
That looked really fucking good.
I haven't watched the trailer yet, but I did see it.
(30:21):
I was watching the Deadpool one.
I was just like, oh really?
Oh, really fucking good.
What did they put on for us?
I had Borderlands, which I'm so excited for.
I didn't think it was that exciting.
I loved the first game, but the movie just doesn't look like it's going to be any good.
It probably won't be.
I think I'm more hoping that it's going to be really good just because I love the game
(30:45):
so much.
But yeah.
So that's the nine criteria to be diagnosed with BPD and you need to have five of those.
For me, I guess to like grade myself at the moment, I would be ticking off seven.
(31:32):
Seven out of nine.
Six, six, seven.
So say you did go and see someone about this.
I tell you, that's usually the recommendation.
If you feel like you've got these symptoms, you want to get it sorted out, you go see
a doctor or you go see someone about it.
Say yeah, okay.
(31:52):
You get told, all right, you tick five of these criteria.
I'm going to diagnose you with BPD.
Here's some things that can help you work on it.
Next one's down the track, you go back and now you're ticking four of the criteria.
It's not just like, okay, congratulations, you're cured.
You only have four out of the nine.
(32:16):
It's not a thing anymore.
I take it that's not the case.
No.
So that's where the whole remission thing comes into play, what I was talking about
before.
Yeah.
So like you can put your BPD into remission.
Like technically you're not ever going to be cured of BPD because anything can set you
(32:38):
off and put you back into having all fucking nine criteria ticked in a matter of minutes.
But you can lessen the severity of a lot of those criteria or you may, like me for example,
with, I used to have massive anger problems now, I just don't.
So you can work on certain things and develop like coping mechanisms and ways to retrain
(33:05):
your thought patterns, which I think the biggest thing that they recommend for people with
BPD is to do DBT.
I don't remember the acronym for it.
(33:25):
BPD is cognitive behavior therapy or talking therapy.
It's designed for people with borderline personality or who have difficulty controlling their emotions.
So that's one of the big things that they recommend that you do.
So actually we haven't actually brought this up yet, but there's no medications to help
(33:49):
with BPD.
There's no chemical fix, even though we've got, sorry, I've got a fucking massive headache
coming on that's killing me.
Even though we've got our chemical balance in our brains different, so we do come under
neurodivergent umbrella terms.
(34:12):
Like technically I'm neuro spicy, I guess, which is like your autism and like ADHD and
all that sort of shit.
But there's no medication for it.
You can go on medication to help with symptoms of it, like as we've explained before in other
episodes, there's certain things that become a symptom of the diagnosis.
(34:40):
So with me, with having BPD, you generally also get stuck with MDD or anxiety, MDD being
major depressive disorder or just flat depression.
MDD is like more intense depression essentially, which is what I've got.
I've got MDD as well as BPD.
(35:05):
So you can be given medication to help with the other things that are part of having the
BPD.
So you're going on anti-anxiety medication or antidepressants just to help lessen some
of the mental load that you're copying, I guess, because it fucking sucks.
(35:26):
Like trying to deal with BPD as well as being depressed and having anxiety, it just makes
it more fucking hard to deal with.
So they put you on medication just to help so you can approach it a little bit more clearheaded.
Ease the load.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Cool.
(35:46):
That's really good.
That's good that there's, I guess, something in place, so that there is something that
can potentially help.
As you said, there's no real cure.
It's not like it's going to be cured, but there are some things out there that can help
(36:09):
if you are struggling with BPD.
It's really cool.
It's really cool.
Yeah.
Ever have anyone like get confused with BPD and bipolar?
Yeah.
All the fucking time.
Yeah.
All the fucking time.
Yeah.
I've got BPD.
Like, oh yeah, bipolar.
No, I don't have bipolar.
They're different.
(36:30):
Yeah, very different, aren't they?
Or, I wouldn't go as far as very different, very similar.
Very similar, yes, I guess so, but in terms of like...
But yeah, still different.
Still quite different, yeah.
There's also, like I said before too, there's a lot of stigma around people with BPD.
Like, I was visiting a friend who had been readmitted to hospital, they'd made an attempt
(36:59):
on themselves, gotten out, and then within like two weeks, tried again and were put straight
back in the hospital.
And literally sitting in the hospital room with this person, two nurses outside the fucking
door, going, oh yeah, no, they just got BPD, like they're just wasting a bed.
(37:19):
We could have someone actually in there who needs that bed.
Thanks buddy, like can clearly hear what you're saying.
Like, pretty good job.
Pretty dismissive.
Yeah.
That's going to really help those symptoms of thinking people are out to get you.
Yep.
And that's a problem that there still is.
(37:43):
This was only recently too, like this was like a year ago that that happened.
Yeah, right.
Yep.
And it's like even with all the leaps and bounds that have been made in regards to BPD,
it's still a fucking big problem.
And like people seem to think too that people with BPD are really hard to get along with
or be in a relationship with because there are people out there who don't work on the
(38:08):
BPD or they're untreated or undiagnosed and it can be really fucking hard to deal with.
You know, you think back to the nine criteria that I've listed off and you imagine living
with someone that's got like the majority of those criteria and has done nothing at
(38:28):
all to work on it.
Like you, you know, that would be a very hard person to be in a relationship with or a friendship
with like they're constantly thinking that they either love or hate you.
They are aggressive as fuck.
They are impulsive, reckless, they're low.
It's like there's just, so when someone says they've got borderline personality disorder,
(38:53):
like people are just, a lot of people are just like, Ooh, no, that's a lot to take on.
So I'm usually don't reveal it straight away.
And when I do reveal it, I've given them enough time to be like, okay, you know, this person's
quite well adjusted.
And it's like, when I do say, look, I've got BPD, I've spent a lot of time learning about
(39:14):
it.
I've spent a lot of time like working on it.
Yeah.
Nothing, nothing to be scared about really.
No, no, you shouldn't.
Like I'm just taking it from, you know, I guess my side or my perspective, you know,
if you do come into contact with somebody with BPD and they let you know that it's not
(39:34):
something to be afraid of, you know, it's just a matter of understanding.
They actually, you know, the more you show your understanding towards it, the better
the outcome will most likely be.
Because I can imagine as soon as you get hit with the, Oh yeah, shit BPD, like I don't
(39:57):
want anything to do with you.
You know, I bet that just spirals, you know, even further backwards the other way.
So and we've talked about that a lot in many different mental health things that we've
talked about, how pushing away is never, never the answer in most circumstances.
So, but we'd love to hear it though too.
(40:20):
If you're listening or watching on YouTube, if you've been in contact or you've had experience
with BPD and you'd like to share, we do have an email.
So, you know, if you feel like you wanted to share an email instead of putting it all
over the YouTube page or in comments and things like that, send us an email if you want to
get in touch.
(40:40):
I think it's pain in our head podcast at gmail.com.
It is listed in the description as well.
So yeah, feel free to do so.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Any questions for me?
No, I don't.
I'm actually, I'm thoroughly educated.
Uh, that was a really good round off of an overview of BPD.
(41:02):
And I think it's definitely something we want to hit later on down the track as well.
Like, you know, maybe go further into, you know, symptoms and things like that.
Yes.
You forgot.
What was this BPD?
Yes.
I know it did kind of, kind of miss kind of that part, but I wasn't sure whether or not
(41:22):
if we went into that, we'd be here forever.
Quickly, quickly knock that out.
They used to think it was, um, trauma related.
Yeah.
BPD was brought on by like a significant traumatic event during your childhood or teenage years
(41:44):
that you didn't quite process.
And then it changed the way that your brain developed and then BPD.
Um, but they've come to realize that it's now like a split between genetic disposition
or traumatic experience.
So you may find that someone in your history has BPD and they passed it on to you.
(42:06):
Ah, right.
Okay.
So some people can be born with the right makeup for BPD.
Might not just develop until later on in life, late teens and early adult life.
Yeah.
Okay.
So for me, I couldn't really tell you.
(42:28):
I think mine's equally split between the two.
I have a genetic disposition towards it.
Like looking back at family members, it's a strong fucking possibility that I was just
born with the right fucking shit for it.
But then also looking at my formative years and like my development, how my childhood
(42:51):
looked and my teenage years looked like it's not a fucking surprise.
Like when I got diagnosed and I was, you know, they asked you just random questions.
I had no idea I was being fucking diagnosed.
They were just asking me like what my childhood looked like, what my high school years looked
like, what my adult years looked like.
And I was just like, oh yeah, it's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
(43:13):
And they're like, BPD bitch.
Fuck.
What's BPD?
Help.
So, but yeah.
So that's, that's what makes someone have BPD.
Like, you just.
Probably why it's so common too now.
(43:34):
Like, you know, I said one in a hundred adults generally have BPD.
So that's crazy.
Hmm.
Yes, I am apparently.
One in a hundred.
No, I meant crazy.
Oh, okay.
Well, you know.
(43:54):
All right.
Word from our fucking sponsors.
My head's killing me.
I need to go take Pennadol before we go into music.
The Pain in Our Head podcast is proudly sponsored by Music Magic Co and Brisbane rock band, The
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Visit the links in the podcast description for more information.
Back to the show.
(44:14):
Welcome back to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for joining us.
We were chatting about BPD.
Christian gave us some great insight as to what it's like living with BPD and some of
the things that come along with it.
(44:36):
We talked about what it means to get diagnosed and briefly mentioned some things that can
be done to help as well.
So really cool.
Really enjoyed it.
Definitely something we're going to revisit because it's such a big, big thing to cover.
Such a big, important topic to cover, as you said, has quite swept under the bus.
(45:00):
And so.
Yeah, well, that's how I started my TikTok videos was originally doing TikTok videos
on BPD.
Yeah.
I think there's a fair few there where I go through like each individual, like symptom
or criteria for BPD and they end up being like 10 minute long fucking videos, each one.
(45:21):
So if we went really into BPD, we'd be there for a fucking long time and it'd be like
a two or three part episode.
We're not doing that.
We'll come back to it later on and fucking go a bit more in depth into it.
See how this one goes.
If people want to hear more about BPD, leave us a message, send an email, all that shit,
(45:44):
reach out to any of our social media platforms and we'll get right on it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Go have a look at Christian's videos.
It's me Spoon89 on TikTok.
Yeah.
We have a TikTok now.
With that being said, we finally have a TikTok for the podcast.
(46:04):
So jump on, follow that.
I don't really know how TikTok works.
I'm still figuring it out.
So I don't know, go and follow.
I don't know.
Look at the page.
Yeah.
So exciting.
More stuff will be going up on TikTok and YouTube and Instagram and all that sort of
stuff.
So yeah, exciting.
(46:28):
On the break, a video by Drumeo popped up that I watched.
I'm a big fan of Drumeo.
They're a-
Yeah, me too.
Fuck yeah.
Awesome.
Such a good idea.
Like the concept behind it.
Oh yeah.
Well, they do lots of different things too.
Oh yeah, that's true.
Which is really awesome.
Like they grew.
I think it started out really small as just like a way of being able to teach drums online
(46:52):
and like supplying learning packages for people who want to learn how to play drums.
My in-ears, like my in-ear monitors that I use when I'm drumming on stage, they're Drumeo
in-ear monitors.
I bought them from the US and had them shipped over.
They're awesome too, by the way.
Really, really good.
If there are-
Drummer doesn't use them, so fuck whatever.
They're probably deaf.
(47:14):
That's why I got them because I was going to go deaf.
So yeah.
Yeah, what?
What?
Yeah, but anyway, I was listening to this Drumeo video, which only came out 15 hours
ago, and they've got Chad Smith.
He's done a lot of different videos.
They're pretty well known for getting, I guess, high profile to well known drummers
(47:37):
come on and do a video, maybe playing one of their songs or listening to a song they've
never heard before.
Like they just did with Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
And he listened to Bring Me the Horizons, Can You Feel My Heart?
Is that the name of the song?
Yep.
He listened to that for the first time, wasn't told what the song was or who it was by, and
(47:59):
had a crack, like a first take at drumming along to it.
And it was really good.
It was really good.
I think he did a really good job.
So it's always hard listening to a song.
People that don't understand what Caleb's talking about, by the way, they mute the drum
track.
Yes.
So the drummer has the monitors in there.
They're just earbuds, essentially.
(48:21):
So they listen to the track.
Whatever.
For the non-musical people, they've got earphones in and they're listening to a song where the
drum track's been removed.
So and then they make up their own interpretation of how the drums should go to that song.
So it's really fucking cool to hear songs that you know and love, then hearing a completely
(48:47):
different drummer do their take on it.
The chick did the slipknot, before I forget.
That was great.
That little girl, she's like what?
Fucking 11, 12.
And she did, when I'm gonna take, Twisted Sister.
Absolutely fucking nailed the shit out of that.
(49:08):
Awesome.
Some awesome stuff on there.
So really cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pulls the drummer out of their comfort zone, especially in their completely different genres.
And Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Bring Me to the Horizon.
Very two different genres.
All styles.
What about, what was the song they got Phil Collins' son to do?
He did a, I'm pretty sure it was a metal song as well, wasn't it?
(49:32):
Yeah, I think so.
I can't remember exactly.
But yeah, it was really cool.
Yeah, go check out Drumeo.
If you're interested in drums and shit like that, like I am, or just indie music, go check
out Drumeo.
They've got some cool shit.
Anyway, have you got a, figured something you'd like to talk about this week, in terms
of music wise?
(49:56):
I did, and I forgot it.
But then also after seeing Deadpool last night, Like a Prayer by Madonna.
It's a good song.
I love that song, man.
I love that song.
But at the end, when they do like that big epic version with the orchestra and the choir,
(50:21):
it turns a really, really good song into an absolute epic fucking experience.
I could listen to that shit on repeat and probably will after we record, because fuck
yes, it's so good.
My mom loves Madonna and Dolly Parton and all that sort of shit.
(50:42):
So like I grew up on that sort of stuff.
Like Jolene by Dolly Parton, fucking awesome.
Good song.
Yeah.
Written by, shit.
I should know this.
It wasn't written by Dolly.
Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised.
Ah, fuck, it's going to kill me.
(51:03):
I couldn't believe it.
Mylis Cyrus did a cover of Jolene and it's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've heard that one.
And she also did a cover of Like a Prayer, which is also really fucking good.
Like a Prayer, yep.
So yeah, we're going to add Madonna's Like a Prayer to the fucking Spotify playlist.
(51:28):
We are an absolute banger of a track.
Absolutely.
I need to update the playlist that needs to be done this weekend.
I will be updating the playlist.
I think I've said that for like four weeks at a row now, but yeah, I've got to go back
through a fair chunk of episodes and put some more music onto it.
But as far as like, wait a fucking minute.
(51:50):
Oh, dude.
Oh, dude.
Dude.
Dude, is something happening in real time?
What?
Really?
What's just coming out?
Light it up by the offspring.
Get fucked.
Get fucked.
New track off the new album.
Oh, get fucked.
I'll get fucked.
(52:12):
I just opened up iTunes and it's come up as, yeah.
Oh yeah, well, it is too.
It's out.
Yep.
2nd of August.
3rd of August here, but 2nd of August there.
I will be listening to that as soon as we finish doing this.
Oh, I'm so excited.
(52:33):
I think we mentioned a few weeks ago, but the offspring have a new album coming out.
I tell you what, if they tour, we're going.
We're going.
I regret that I did not go and see them like maybe-
I wouldn't fucking go and see the shit out of that.
Eight years ago or something.
And I think I was in the, like I had the tickets.
I had them online.
(52:53):
I was going to purchase them.
And I was like, you know what?
No, I should save the money.
I don't need to spend the money.
Regret, regret, regret, regret.
I should have gone and seen them.
So if they do ever come back to Australia, I'm going to see them because yeah, fuck me.
It was like with me with Lorna Shaw.
I was like, oh, do I want to pay for the ticket?
Do I want to pay for the ticket?
And I finally decided, yeah, I'm going to get a ticket and then they sold out.
(53:16):
And I'm like, fuck.
That's what-
I've got Parkway Drive tickets at the moment.
I got a ticket to go see Parkway Drive over in this mosh pit.
Yeah, well.
And I'm like, fuck yeah.
But then I'm also like, I don't want to go by myself.
But someone that I started chatting to, I think they're going.
(53:36):
Oh, okay.
Nice.
I might tag along with them and be like, hey, let's be friends.
Yeah, nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice.
Oh, cool.
Well, definitely going to give that a listen.
Yeah, that's exciting.
That's the first we discovered something brand new while recording.
During recording.
That's crazy.
I can't believe that.
Ooh.
(53:57):
I'm so excited.
I forgot my train of thought.
I completely forgot.
All I want to do is just go listen to this now.
It's all like I'm fixated on it.
Anyway, it looks cool.
I love the cover art for it that they've got too.
Big skeleton with the lightning bolts coming out of him.
Yeah, well, they've got an official visualizer for it and it looks like 3D animated kind of
thing.
Yeah, okay.
There's an official lyric video as well.
Fuck yeah, nice.
Ooh, that's cool.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
(54:18):
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
(54:49):
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
I'm going to go see that.
(55:11):
I'm going to go see that.
Oh, that's cool.
I'm going to go see that.
got a great voice, but I love a lot of their music.
Yeah.
They've got heaps of songs that I could rattle off a heap.
Uh, a common one that a lot of people have probably heard is the Diary of Jane.
(55:34):
Um, that's like down the bottom of the list for me.
Like it's good, but they've got a heap or much more enjoyable songs,
but I love the production.
Um, yeah, could be like, it's not as heavy as what I would like it to be.
Um, but it's a kind of, it's a good mix of not being too metal.
(55:57):
So yeah, great.
But, uh, so cold that is up there with like my top 10 songs of all time.
Yeah.
So, so, so cold by Breaking Benjamin, the Aurora version, they released an album
in 2020 and it was just like acoustic covers of a lot of their different songs.
And what they also did was brought on a heap of different artists to help sing
(56:21):
or help perform that acoustic song as well.
So really, really cool versions.
So the Aurora version is cool, but the originals also awesome.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Great band.
Hmm.
I found them.
I haven't really given them much time.
Haven't you?
Oh gosh.
What should I, what should I tell you to listen to?
(56:43):
Well, blow me a ways from the halo two soundtrack.
Yeah.
Yep.
So that's a good one.
Uh, I will not bow, uh, failure, breathe, dance with the devil.
They're all really, really good songs.
Really, really good songs.
And obviously, yes.
So, so cold angels fall like, yeah, they're the list just goes on for me.
(57:03):
I'm a really big fan.
I actually came across them while listening on Pandora.
You remember Pandora?
It's still a thing, but just not over here and not in, not in Australia.
They don't, it doesn't happen over in Australia anymore.
Yeah.
Weird.
Anyway, but when I found C either, I also found Breaking Benjamin at the same time.
(57:26):
Yeah.
Cause they were in like, in like a shuffle together.
Cause I guess they were in the same sort of style.
So yeah, anyway, that's my music spill.
Thanks for coming.
Let's fucking can it.
Cause I'm going to go listen to the offspring.
Fuck you guys were out.
Yeah.
So we're going to go listen to the new offspring song.
(57:46):
Thank you for listening to this week's episode.
Next week, we're going to talk about romanticizing mental health, uh, and
probably make it a little bit more bubblier than what this week has been.
Cause it's been quite a serious talk this week.
So it's been good, but next week there's going to be a lot more shit talk.
We're going to talk about romanticizing mental health.
So.
Wait a fucking minute.
(58:09):
What have you missed?
We've forgotten something.
We didn't, we didn't talk about the shit talk that we agreed upon.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Cause you went and saw the movie last night and I hit you with one of those.
Uh, that was funny.
That was funny.
If you've made it, this far along the podcast, like, no, I don't think you were.
Why?
What?
I think you're a grub.
(58:32):
I honestly believe you would.
You're a fucking drummer.
You take your shoes off at any chance you get.
I draw me my shoes on.
I hate Caleb.
A picture that I was at the movie cinema.
I had my foot up on the chair.
Cause it was like a dead cinema.
There was like only people behind us.
There's no one in front of us.
There's fucking people.
So I had my foot up, resting my legs out.
(58:52):
He's like, take your shoe off, be a man.
And I was just like, I would actually punch you in the jaw if you were here and you did
that because that's fucking disgusting.
And people do it.
People take their fucking shoes off at the cinema.
Yeah.
And then you've got stinky feet sitting behind your head.
All you can do is just smell a big toe.
You look to your right and there's a fucking big toe right there.
(59:17):
So if you take your shoes off at the cinema, fuck you.
Yeah, we've got to grow up with you.
That's nasty.
It's rank.
Makes me laugh because it's so funny how much Christian gets upset by it.
Oh, it's so gross.
What about, what about if you're, you're a grub?
What about if you're in like a, what do you call them?
Like the, the other sort of cinemas, like not the ones where there's like seats and
(59:39):
like right behind each other.
If you're in like a.
Like gold class.
Yeah.
Like gold class or like one of those sort of ones.
No.
Okay.
What about.
Because I'm eating fucking food.
If some, like, cause when you go to gold class, they bring out like meals and shit
for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, it's, it's the fancy version of going to the cinema.
(01:00:02):
So if you want to be fancy and then take your fucking shoes off, fucking get out of
here.
They're wearing thongs to a cinema.
No, because it just gives them more fucking incentive to like, I'm going to take my
socks off now.
Cause just slip them off and.
Lick them off.
Fuck off.
Get out of here.
It's a very Australian thing to do, I think.
(01:00:29):
Next time you go, someone's behind you and they do it.
And I hope they don't.
I hope they haven't clipped their toenails.
That intense, intense, irrational anger.
That box will be chipped like a motherfucker.
You'll be seeing red.
Oh, it's a fucking good song too.
Architects seeing red.
Oh yeah.
That is a good song.
(01:00:50):
It's a really good song that came up for me the other day.
Yeah.
Nice.
Anyway, I just wanted to have a bit of a piss and moan.
Yeah.
Let's fucking get out of here.
Hilarious.
All right.
Have a good week and catch you next week.
It's okay.
Not be okay.
Bye.
I'm late to speak.
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