August 18, 2024 • 53 mins
Listen in to this episode of The Pain In Our Head Podcast, as Caleb & Christian discuss the negative implications of mental health being romanticized through music and media.
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The Pain In Our Head Podcast is a video and audio series on different mental health issues combined with in depth discussions on music from all genres and styles. Caleb and Christian aim to speak from personal experience of mental health and work in the music industry to provide insight on how music has assisted in managing the personal PAIN IN OUR HEADs.
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Liked the music we talked about? We've got a Spotify playlist of all the songs here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2QD4PTImKDmqe5EoedcXQy?si=c6748b69f017465e
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Pain in Our Head podcast contains themes of course language, adult themes and the discussion
(00:05):
of mental health themes.
Some content may be emotionally challenging.
If you or someone you know is at risk, please visit the description for mental health and
suicide prevention contacts.
Enjoy the show.
(00:45):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
(01:14):
Uh, wow, what a week it's been.
Uh, first of all, I really need to ask, I need to pause the uploads.
I really need to ask, uh, who cut your hair and uh, point me in the direction.
I'll sort them out for you.
Wow!
What the fuck?
(01:37):
No, it looks good.
It looks good.
Nice, nice and fresh cut.
It's fucking good.
I love, I love having the sides fucking all cleaned up and fucking having my beard nice
and fucking made.
And it's like, oh yeah.
And then I trim the mustache back too so that you're not fucking eating your own mustache
(01:58):
hairs.
Oh yeah, how annoying is that?
I hate them all.
Hmm, no, it looks good.
Especially with your neck tap.
Yeah, it looks good.
Is that your good side?
You reckon?
Yeah, my left side's my good side.
Your left side?
That's literally why I got my tattoo on that side and my nose piercing.
Cause I was like, well, whenever I take selfies, it's always like, kaching.
(02:22):
So I was like, well, I don't want a tattoo on the other side when I, where I don't take
selfies.
Good point.
It's a good side.
Everyone's got a good side, I reckon.
No.
They're as bad as each other.
My good side's the bad.
Even then it's debatable.
(02:44):
It's a shame when I look in the mirror, I can't just see the back.
That's where I'll tell you what it looks like.
Back shots for the boys!
Oh, that reminds me of that sticker.
Remember that sticker early in the week that was on the back of the car that I told you
about?
Oh yeah.
That got me.
Hey.
(03:04):
Oh, that had me in stitches.
That had me in stitches.
Yeah, I was driving along work this week and someone had a sticker on the back of their
car.
And it said, if you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
I thought it was good.
I thought it was a good one.
I do like some hand pulling.
I thought you were going to say I do like stickers on the back of a car.
(03:31):
But yeah, I do like some stickers on the back of a car.
Funny.
No, not that do I.
I want to get a sticker of the podcast and check it on the back of the car.
Yeah, that'd be cool.
A really lame like drummer sticker.
I can't think of anything.
(03:52):
A lame drummer sticker.
You want to have a lame drummer sticker on the back of your car.
Just so people know to give you space because you're legally retarded.
I've been told that that laugh sounds like a chicken.
(04:16):
When I do that laugh.
I reckon it sounds like a chicken.
I'm like, sounds like a chicken.
Yeah, I can see that.
That's going to be a clip.
What's going on this week?
Fuck all.
(04:36):
Fuck all.
Just been working.
Been working.
Had a haircut, obviously.
I had a trim.
I don't really call it a haircut.
I just got the sides shaved up and beard tidied.
Just growing the top out.
How much is it you back?
(04:59):
60 bucks.
I was talking to a bloke at work the other day about the same fucking thing.
It's like 60 bucks for a quick number one around the sides and back.
Then he tidied up my fucking beard lines.
He was like, yeah, 60 bucks.
I was like, what the fuck?
(05:20):
I was like 40 last time.
You were probably there for what?
All the 15 fucking minutes?
You were probably waiting in line longer.
I was because some prick cut in front of me.
He was also there with a carer.
I was like, wow, you can just take it, I guess.
Yeah, well, he probably got a discount too.
Probably.
Intrusive thoughts there.
(05:41):
Fucking get canceled for those comments.
Yeah, let them.
Those intrusive thoughts win.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
That was good.
Always good to have a cut.
You always feel good afterwards.
When was the last time you had a fucking haircut?
It'd be going on a year now.
Didn't you get your hairline tidied up?
(06:03):
Yes, actually.
The last time I got a cut.
I did.
I did about a year ago when I graduated from uni.
Yeah, I went and got it tidied up.
I need another one.
It's too long.
I like it sitting at shoulder length, but now it goes down in the middle of my back.
I actually don't like having my hair out anymore because it's too long.
So I do need to get a cut because I do prefer to have the hair out rather than tied up.
(06:28):
I don't like to get the hair out because it's too long.
It's the same.
It had nothing to do with hair.
Yeah, it's been a good week.
It could.
You don't know how long my pubes are.
I've got no idea.
(06:50):
You use the same razor too, don't you?
Same razor for your face.
I use the same clippers.
Cut costs.
Just blow it off.
It's my body.
I don't give a shit.
(07:14):
I go for a shower once a week.
Don't get me started.
I've heard those stories about that guy.
I don't want to go there.
Just don't look it after yourself.
(07:34):
That helps with mental health.
Me too.
If I'm feeling real shit, I have a nice hot shower, get myself all cleaned up.
Especially after I got my hair cut, then I came home, had a nice hot shower, washed my hair and bit.
I was just like, yeah, pretty.
Yeah, guys feel pretty too.
Don't be afraid to tell us.
(07:56):
No one compliments guys.
Compliment you, Caleb.
In the best of times.
I spent a good week.
Not a lot's happened, really.
Just working.
Busy week.
(08:17):
Here we are.
Got a busy weekend coming up.
We're currently recording on a Saturday, which is very different.
Never recorded on a Saturday before.
He's going somewhere tomorrow night.
I don't know where he's going.
I think it's like a sex party for gays or something, isn't it?
(08:42):
I don't even have anything to come hit you back with.
But no, to where am I?
I'm going to Bad Flower.
Bad Flower is finally in Australia.
It's exciting.
It is, it's for the first time they've ever come here.
(09:05):
I don't care.
But the way you said Australia just broke me inside a little bit.
And then it reminded me of our little disagreement yesterday morning.
But yes, Bad Flower are in town and I'm super excited.
(09:29):
It's been a while now.
I think they announced it back in January.
Long time coming.
I'm very excited.
The two new singles have really grown on me.
You pull your face at me.
But what about Don't Hate Me?
I loved that song when I showed it to you.
Great song.
(09:50):
I'll be upset if they don't play it.
There's five songs that I really want to hear them play live.
If I don't hear at least three of those, I've got to be thoroughly upset.
It is what it is.
They can't play all their songs.
They've only got two albums and a handful of singles.
So depending on how long they play for, there's two other bands.
(10:14):
Gates are at seven, Dawes are at seven.
And I'd say the first two bands probably do a 45 to an hour set each.
That puts Bad Flower on probably at 9.30.
I'd say they go to 11.30 maybe.
Two hours, two and a bit hours.
That's a fair amount of time for a good amount of songs.
(10:37):
I hope they don't talk too much.
You're looking at probably 15.
I can't say from experience, but all of the shows that I've been to,
especially with international artists coming over to Australia,
I find that they do talk a fair bit.
They talk so much shit.
Oh, you know, the weather here has been good.
(11:00):
I was like, I'm going to go and do this.
And I got to this.
It's like, mate,
if I wanted to know what fucking holiday experiences you had,
I'd follow you on Instagram and keep up with your posts.
I'm not here to listen to your fucking holiday.
I want to hear you sing.
Play your songs.
You know, I'm here to bring this up.
See though, guess how many words they said at the concert?
(11:22):
One, two, thanks at the end.
That was it.
Three.
Fuck off, Caleb.
Yeah, probably.
I was in the front row, but I can cry my eyes out.
Yeah, no, so it's weird.
I don't know.
Maybe they just have the tendency to just nonstop talk.
But anyway, nevertheless, I'm very excited for that tomorrow night.
(11:43):
And you'll be hearing all about that next week when I talk about it on the podcast.
I'm going for a drumstick.
I hope a drumstick comes my way.
I hope it doesn't hit you in the eye.
I hope it does, because then at least I'll be able to take it home.
Oh yeah, drumstick in the eye.
Ow.
(12:05):
My fucking cheeks.
Yeah.
I can make him clap, y'all.
Cut ass.
Have you seen Paradise PD?
Yes.
Yes.
Dusty up on the desk.
Look, I can make him clap, y'all.
(12:28):
I haven't seen that for ages.
I fucking think there's more seasons now.
Yeah.
I've only seen the first season.
There's like three seasons now, I think.
Yeah, right.
I've only watched the first season.
I definitely watch it.
It's good.
I'm so bad, but so good.
Speaking of other shows, I've recently watched Fallout.
That whole season.
(12:51):
That's awesome.
Really, really good.
Done really well.
Anyway.
I've been talking shit for 12 minutes.
I just remember that message you sent about that Fallout episode.
It's like, with my penis?
Yeah.
(13:13):
Do you want to have sex?
With my cock?
Yeah, good TV show.
Really, really good.
I'm keen for more of that to come out.
Yes.
Yes.
Anyway.
This week, we were going to chat about romanticizing mental health.
Yep.
Just done a fair bit.
(13:35):
Stop fucking doing it.
End of episode.
Fucking sick of it.
Done.
Stop it.
Fuck off.
Stay in your own lane.
It's not nice.
It hurts.
It does.
It's a topic that we talked about a few weeks ago.
(13:59):
You brought it up.
Just about how lots of different mental health topics are romanticized.
Or thrown aside.
Or told that it's just in your head.
Let's not get into that again.
It's one of those things where you kind of forget.
(14:24):
You have to deal with it.
Just romanticizing, it's like saying or making something out to seem better.
Than it really is.
Did you have to Google that word, man?
I actually didn't.
Yeah, look at me go.
(14:46):
I Googled it a few weeks ago when you said it.
Romanticizing, that is a big word.
But it's done heaps.
Social media.
It can even be done through music.
Actually.
TV shows.
It's one we'll hit close to home for you.
(15:11):
I'll give you two guesses.
What do you think I'm going to say?
It's to do with romanticizing.
It's in media.
And it's very close to you.
What do you think I'm going to talk about?
What am I going to bring up here?
It's very close to me.
(15:34):
You've got me stumped.
It's in the media.
It's something that you find really entertaining.
I find lots of stuff entertaining.
You have to narrow it down.
I don't know if I can narrow it down any further.
As soon as I say one of these words, you'll be like, oh, it's this.
(15:58):
Oh, OK.
I give up.
The Joker and Harley Quinn.
OK, I'm ready to listen to your story.
How many people do you see romanticizing the whole Joker and Harley Quinn thing?
(16:23):
Making it out to be better than it really is.
And completely downplaying the whole fucking toxic relationship hierarchy between them.
Or, oh, yes.
And how completely unstable and broken Harley Quinn is.
And they're like, oh, yeah, Harley Quinn.
(16:46):
I'm so much like Harley Quinn.
And so many guys are like, I'm so much like the Joker.
And it's just like, you do realize that these two people are broken as fuck.
And they were just like, hmm.
Fictional characters, just going to put that out there.
But you're right.
There's a lot of fictional characters out there that are like that.
(17:08):
That people cling on to and say, oh, yeah, that's just what I'm like.
That's what I'm like.
But you haven't seen the Harley Quinn TV show, have you?
There was one.
Yes, the Harley Quinn TV show.
It's fucking awesome.
It actually opens that can of worms, actually.
It talks about the abusive relationship between those two characters.
(17:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really intelligently done.
So that also covers off a whole heap of other issues as well.
So yeah, really well done, Shane.
It's a very, what do you call it?
What are we talking about at least?
What's it called?
The Prince, uh, gosh, PC, very PC.
Yeah, yeah, that TV show is very, very PC.
(17:59):
I just remember when they brought out, um, I don't remember,
like the Justice, not the Justice League, the one with fucking Harley Quinn
and all those other wankers.
Suicide Squad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People were like fucking all of a sudden again, oh yeah, I need like chicks.
(18:22):
I need me a man that's like the Joe who loves me like the Joker loves Harley Quinn.
This is like.
And same as guys doing the same thing with, you know, I need someone that's obsessed
with me like Harley Quinn.
You just like.
Oh, red flags.
No, it's unhealthy.
(18:43):
No, leave it for the fictional characters.
But no, that's a good point and how media can do that.
Yeah, yeah.
And romanticize those things and show that it's, you know, okay,
or it's not as bad as it's, you know, made out to be.
But no, these things are, they really are.
So, yeah, especially mental health.
(19:07):
There was lots of different things I was reading up on about romance.
About romanticizing mental health.
And one of the things that caught my eye was the fact of,
we've previously spoken about this as well, I think last week or the week before,
how you were saying, you know, people will throw around a term like,
(19:29):
oh, it's just, I've got a little bit of OCD or that's a little OCD about me.
And that's the thing, that's quite dangerous.
We've got to be really careful when we're throwing around those sort of terms like that.
Terms like depression, OCD, anxiety, personality disorder.
Self-diagnosing it.
(19:51):
And self-diagnosing it, yeah, is not the way to go about it.
No.
At all.
It's, yeah.
I'm going to be pretty fucking brutal during this episode because this one does hit close to home, this topic.
And I'm sorry, but if you're having a bit of a fucking sad,
(20:15):
don't go telling people you've got depression.
Like unless you've actually been fucking diagnosed with it, don't say you've got depression.
Say you're having a bit of a rough time.
There's alternative ways to express that you're not coping very well
without fucking diminishing what people who are actually diagnosed go through.
(20:39):
Because it's not the same.
It's not.
Depression is not just having a sad.
It's more than just fucking having a sad.
There is more to it.
It's not just going through a rough time in your life.
It's...
Yeah, yeah.
No, you're right.
It's downplaying the people who are diagnosed with these different mental health issues.
(21:01):
It's downplaying their experiences with those diagnosed conditions.
And it's overgeneralising the symptoms and saying that they just fit into lots of different people's lives.
And everyone has it and sort of just says that, you know, there's nothing wrong with them.
(21:22):
So that's not, you know, it's not right.
It's not right to downplay it like that.
So you've got to be really careful when you're throwing around those sort of things
and saying that sort of stuff in conversation.
Yeah.
The other thing too is if you're self-diagnosing as well,
like that gives the opportunity to misdiagnose as well.
(21:45):
So it's not really the right way to go about getting a professional diagnosis.
Because then you're not going to be able to go through the right steps to put things in motion, to help as well.
Just going to stack things on top of each other and make things worse.
Yeah. And also too, like self-diagnosing is also potentially preventing you from finding out what's going on.
(22:13):
Because if you are struggling with a certain period in your life and you just go,
I'm just depressed, you may not just be depressed.
You may have a trauma related response to something and you could be suffering from CPTSD or PTSD.
It could be actually depression or anxiety.
You could be having any number of issues.
(22:36):
It could be like a late development schizophrenia.
Like it's, you never know.
It's like, if you're not feeling that you're not yourself, if you are feeling that you're not yourself, go talk to someone.
Don't just fucking WebMD that shit.
Or fucking be like, oh man, those Instagram reels that you see where it's like, oh, if you can't handle loud noises and this and that and this, you're probably autistic.
(23:04):
It's like, yes, I was just about to bring that up because the ones that give me the shits are the visuals.
And it says, if you see this, you've got depression.
Or if you see this, you've got some like, yeah, those ones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good example.
Yeah, there's lots of those. And that's the spread of misinformation.
So that'll, you know, if someone who maybe does need to go get a professional diagnosis sees that sort of shit and goes, okay, maybe I could just do that as a test.
(23:35):
And there'll be silly little apps that they can download from the thread that's been put up because they've seen some photo.
And because they saw a moose instead of a cow, they've got depression.
Incredible bullshit. Those are just horny cows.
That's why I call your mum moose.
(24:00):
Sorry. What?
Because she's a horny cow.
I thought I might have had to explain it to you.
No, no, just sorry.
I don't know. Sometimes I just get these really good burns in my head and I'm just like, I can't let this one sit.
I'm just, I'm going to risk the friendship. It's worth it.
(24:23):
I was going to say, I was going to say sometimes you just, your filter goes missing and it just, your words blurt out.
But I know that that's a thing that happens. So I'll give it to you.
But yeah, so, but no, it's a, it's a big issue. It is.
(24:45):
It happens, like you said, media, social media around the place as well.
People just using it as an excuse.
And I'm not talking like people are being diagnosed and talk about, you know, if you're using it as an excuse to get out of things where like it's not actual, you know, a diagnosed condition for you.
(25:08):
People will use that.
You're not wrong though. Like even people that have been diagnosed with certain, so we'll use anxiety.
This perfect, perfect one.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, it's like, oh, I agreed to go to a party this weekend.
And then the day of the party, I decided to bail out because I don't want to go.
(25:33):
And then I'm going to tell everyone that it's because of my anxiety.
It's like, stop blaming your anxiety for you not wanting to do things.
Like I, I can say that because I have anxiety.
Sometimes you got to force yourself to do shit. And then when you get there, you'll enjoy yourself. Sometimes it won't. Sometimes it'll blow up in your face.
(25:54):
But like, don't use your, don't use your problems as an excuse to get out of shit. Like,
well, that's why I named the anxiety episode. It's just my anxiety.
Like we, I've done it. Like, don't get me wrong. I fucking done it.
Oh, look.
It's like, oh no, my mental health is playing up this week. And when in actual fact, I just wanted to sit there and play the fucking computer.
(26:19):
You know, it's like.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't want that though. Like there's different, everyone experiences up and downs with mental health.
So, but yes, there is a, there is a line. There's using it for an excuse. And then, you know,
actually having a problem. So. Yeah. Yeah.
(26:46):
It's a tricky one.
It's not really much to, like you said at the start of the episode, don't do it.
Stop romanticizing it. It's not really like a, you know, a five step process into how we can stop romanticizing it.
It's just a matter of not doing it.
Don't self diagnose and don't like, don't downplay someone that's got these problems by likening yourself to it.
(27:15):
Like it's not the same thing. Like I said before, if you self diagnose because of a situation you're going through,
like you're not experiencing the same thing that someone who actually has been diagnosed with it, you may have it.
Like I'm not, I'm not saying that you don't have fucking depression or anxiety,
but until you get that diagnosis and confirm that what you're experiencing is the same,
(27:40):
then just don't fucking do it because you don't understand what it's like living every day with a mental illness.
It's just, it's fucking shit. I'm not going to butter it up. It sucks.
You know, I spoke about, we spoke about BPD last week and like we just scratched the top of,
(28:08):
of what it's kind of like with BPD. I didn't go into too much detail of what my life looks like living with it
and how fucking hard it was to learn to live with it.
But just it's really insulting and hurtful when so many people and influences and just society in general are like making out the depression and anxiety and all this stuff and autism.
(28:37):
It's like, yeah, cool. Thanks for just downplaying what we have to live with every fucking day of our lives.
Yeah, it's, and it just generalizes it and it all it's doing is then just pushing it further and further away.
And you know, we want to try and go the opposite direction so that we can keep, I guess, spreading the word that it's important to speak about these things and talk about it and get, you know, correctly diagnosed and those sort of things,
(29:15):
because otherwise we'll just keep going in the opposite direction and it's not going to be helpful for anyone.
It's kind of like a double edged sword to like, yeah, it's good that the awareness about these problems is increasing.
But then it also diminishes the impact that they have on people's lives. So people will just start dismissing us.
(29:36):
Everyone's a little bit autistic.
I can go there, boy.
Don't do it.
Yes.
Well summed up.
Really well done. I found a quote too.
Did you?
I know it's a really good one. I did. I checked the chat. I only liked it because it was an artist that said this.
(30:01):
Yeah, I really like the artist.
We're about, yeah, we haven't talked about Lady Gaga before.
I think we have.
I like Lady Gaga.
I do too.
She's got really good music.
Yeah.
She's a really good songwriter.
She's a bit of a metalhead as well.
(30:24):
Yeah, really intelligent, really intelligent songwriting.
I do enjoy a lot of her songs. I can't say I enjoy the style, but the songwriting is really, really good.
I fucking love applause.
Say that again.
I love applause.
Applause.
(30:46):
I can't tell you what I like the most.
Just dance.
Yeah.
Oh, that actually reminds me. I don't know if it was that one. It's another.
One song, there was one song that was played as the alarm for like grade seven camp and it got blasted to wake us up that whole week.
(31:09):
I can't remember whether it was like Poker Face. It might have been Poker Face.
I guess she came out and admitted that every radio station shouldn't have been playing that song.
Did you see that where she admitted it?
Yeah. There's a lot of pop songs that are like that.
There's a lot of underlying meanings that are just over the top of our heads, but they get put onto radio because they're pop songs, popular.
(31:41):
Anyway, hit me with your quote. Give me your words of wisdom.
Well, not mine, the Lady Gaga's. I learned that my sadness never destroyed what was great about me.
You just have to go back to that greatness. Find that one little light that's left. I'm lucky I found one little glimmer stored away.
I don't know when she said it.
(32:04):
It's pretty cool. I like it. It's really, really cool.
I wanted to actually even discuss that as a whole topic.
The idea of sifting through the ashes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. There's always good to come out of bad. Always. I'm a big believer in that.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is. No, no, no. I honestly believe.
(32:29):
And I know you're going to disagree and I get that and that's fine. You're entitled to disagree.
But there is always something. This is just probably the.
What's the word?
Taylor always says that I'm optimistic. Yeah, that's the optimism that comes out of me, I think.
But I believe that there is always something good to come. Even even if it's not obvious.
(32:55):
But like, OK, for example, there might be no obvious good things, right?
There's just shit. Everything's been really bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
But what about the growth and the learnings from those bad experiences?
They're good things. They're not bad things. They can't be bad things.
That's growth. That's learning from mistakes.
(33:16):
So there is always a. You can't tell me that there is no good to come from bad.
But give it a go. Please.
You know, there is one topic I won't fucking talk about on this podcast.
And you cannot tell me that there has been anything fucking positive come out of that situation.
(33:37):
There is.
There's fucking not.
It's not obvious. Like I said, growth.
Learning from different mistakes.
What did I fucking.
It's not for me. That's not for me to tell.
(33:59):
That's not for me to tell.
What are you going to fucking you and go and find out.
Jackie cheating on me with her ex boyfriend.
What I learned from that, because that just fucking hurt me.
What did I learn?
We're not getting into your life stories, but go away and think about it yourself.
(34:20):
I didn't realize this was going to roll you up, but look, that's fair.
If you don't believe it, that's fine.
I do. I do. I really do. I don't like it.
Fair enough. I'll agree with you about the quote that, you know,
you sift through the ashes and find your little spark, but I don't agree that everything.
There's something positive to take away from it, because sometimes shit's just fucked and you get raw dogged.
(34:46):
Yes. Yes, you do. Fair enough. We'll agree to disagree.
That's good. Normally we can we find a middle ground,
but it's actually nice to be on opposite sides of something for once.
We're on opposite sides now, but I'm going to reach across that fence and drag you over to my side and beat the shit out of you.
(35:07):
And I'd still find good out of it.
Yeah, because you're a masochist. You enjoy it.
I was going to say, I just learned next time not to go too close to the fence.
But I made it sexual.
Anyone?
(35:29):
Very good. But no, it's a good quote. It is right.
You know, sift through the ashes, find your spark again.
You can always get beaten down, but you can always get back up.
That's about that song, Tub Thumping by Tub Thumping.
Get knocked down.
It's a fucking good song.
That's about getting drunk. Pretty sure, isn't it?
Getting absolutely smashed.
(35:51):
Yeah, pissing the night away.
That was a banger.
That's a good song. Talk about that.
We haven't even got up to the music chat yet, but great song.
I just want to say too, that's a fucking really good example there of good friendship,
quite firmly grounded in differing opinions.
And then we're straight back into talking shit and loving each other anyway.
(36:17):
That's a good example.
I told Shaz, the lady I live with, I told her, because we were talking about the day.
I was messaging Caleb all day.
She was like, how long have you known each other?
I was like, it's about three years, I think.
Before I moved to South Australia, I was still in...
(36:41):
I think you'd just moved.
I think I was still in Queensland.
Surely not.
I'm pretty sure.
Really?
Oh yeah, that's right.
Because I remember you telling me that you were moving to South Australia.
About three years, and she's like, where'd you meet?
(37:02):
And I was like, we haven't.
And she's like, what? We've never met.
We've never met.
So I told her the story of how we met each other and how our friendship grew.
And she's like, that's really beautiful.
And I was like, you're really gay.
Yeah, it's cool.
(37:24):
And one of those things, I was told gaming's bad for you.
Online friends aren't real friends.
Yeah, online friends aren't real friends.
Yeah, all that sort of stuff.
Fuck you, because you can make real friends online.
100%.
All my real friends are online.
Wednesdays through to Friday, strictly raid nights.
(37:48):
We could actually do that, but you won't play.
Yeah, no, no, I won't play that.
Anyway.
All right, let's have a quick ad break.
Hear a word from me.
Talk about some music on the other end.
The Pain in Our Head podcast is proudly sponsored by Music Magic Co.
(38:09):
and Brisbane rock band, The Flying Circus.
Visit the links in the podcast description for more information.
Back to the show.
Welcome back to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
We've been talking about romanticizing mental health.
Don't do it.
We're sick of it.
It's not funny anymore.
Never was funny.
(38:32):
I don't know where I was going with that.
Okay, there are some funny fucking reels out there.
I think what we're essentially trying to say is like, don't fucking self-diagnose.
Don't take away from the people that actually live with these problems.
Yeah.
And it's not as fucking fun or romantic as you think it is.
(38:57):
No, no, absolutely not.
But yeah, there are some funny reels out there.
There are some fucking funny reels out there.
Yeah.
Have you noticed there's a new...
That should be a reel.
Have you noticed there's a new button at the bottom of all my reels now?
And I don't know if you've got it on your Instagram.
But when I'm playing a reel, I've got a little bubble at the bottom and it'll just say send.
(39:24):
And it's got your profile.
And it'll just let me send it straight to you without actually having to hit share and then click on you.
I don't know if it's because I send you so many reels.
If I click the...
It just assumes.
I've got the like, the comment, and the send button.
And if I click the send button, it just pops up with like the most recent people that I send shit to in your front and center.
(39:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've got that.
But actually at the bottom of the reel now, I've got a little bubble that says send a chat and it's got your icon.
Your profile.
Yeah.
So I don't even have to...
I just hit the bottom and it sends it to you now.
Oh, man.
Yeah, crazy.
It's fucking sick.
Weird update.
Anyway.
Check if I need to update.
(40:10):
Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe.
All right.
Music.
Yep.
I've been listening to a lot of different music this week.
Oh, I don't think I've said this yet because I hadn't done it by the time we recorded last week.
The Pain in Our Head podcast Spotify playlist has been updated.
There is like almost four hours of all the music we have talked about over our 27 episodes.
(40:35):
Today's 28.
I finally started listening to it.
I have to think about that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great.
Some really great stuff on there.
It's almost like the people that run this podcast have got amazing taste in music.
Yes.
Yes.
Good opportunity there.
(40:56):
Yeah.
Well, you know what I said the other day.
Sucks to suck.
Squirt in there, man.
Yeah.
I'd rather kick start a landmine than listen to Happy by Mudvayne.
After you were belittling the shit out of the gift by Seda, mind you.
(41:19):
I know what I'm going to talk about.
It was quick.
Oh yeah?
Floor's yours.
Go for it.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to work out which song I want to talk about because it's a band that you admitted
you should probably like, but you don't actually like and you don't know why.
(41:42):
It just doesn't work for you.
Skill it.
Yeah, skill it.
They've never done it for me.
So probably Psycho in my head.
I don't even know if I've heard that.
Good.
Now you can add it to the podcast.
It'll come up and you'll be like, damn it.
I like this.
Another song for me to skip.
I'll have a listen to it.
(42:03):
I will have you know that I actually felt guilty after ragging on fucking Seda and like
dragging you through the mud to the point that I actually like got up the lyrics for
the gift, the gift, the gift and started learning to see if I could sing it just so I could
(42:24):
send you a video of me singing it.
Oh really?
Oh yes, yes.
I would have been very impressed.
No, even I struggled to sing that one.
It kills me.
It's got a great, it's just got a great meaning behind it.
Great song.
Anyway, okay.
Psycho in my head.
I actually started listening to skill it.
I don't know if they still identify as, but they were like originally like a Christian
(42:49):
band.
They may still be.
I'm not sure.
Yes, I remember that.
So I listened to them back when I was like 13 or 14 years old and I absolutely fucking
loved them.
Like, um, like earth invasion was an amazing song.
I loved the shit out of that.
And I was like, yeah, it's really cool.
(43:12):
And then, um, you know, they brought out a new album, like a couple of years later and
I was like, yes, sick.
Like whispers in the dark and comatose stuff like that.
I was like, yes, this is really good stuff.
And I stopped listening to them just because of the like whole that they were Christian.
And I was like, fuck religion.
Um, and then yeah, like a, a psycho in my head, a monster, I think it was.
(43:36):
Yeah.
Monster.
I think it was a fucking great song.
I was like, okay.
I was like, I got older and was like, I can still appreciate the music, even if it's got
like a religious theme behind it.
Cause you know, whatever everyone's entitled to their own beliefs, even if you're wrong.
Um, but you know, like just, yeah, I don't know.
(43:58):
I it's really cool.
Really cool music.
I wouldn't say really cool.
I just enjoy it.
I guess there's nothing overly excited about it.
Just some of the songs are I find quite enjoyable to listen to.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Oh yeah.
Look, I'm, I'm going to give them another try.
Cause when I listened to them, it was probably, I was about 13.
(44:19):
I think you'd probably enjoy some of their newest stuff.
Like the newest stuff is going to be up your alley.
I reckon.
Okay.
You may, you may convert to some of the newest skillet after this episode.
Okay.
Well, I'm very interested and intrigued to give them another crack.
Give them another go.
(44:41):
Hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
Not bad.
We didn't talk about anything else.
I was.
What was your, you said you had a, had a silly or a funny song.
I was going to talk about Windrose.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
You did say that.
Yep.
For two reasons.
Cause I've heard it all week.
(45:02):
No, cause one, cause they're really cool.
I really fucking like Windrose.
They're a power metal band.
And they sing about.
Wolves.
Not do that earlier.
(45:23):
Have you sent me, you sent me some videos.
I think you sent me a few songs of these, of these guys.
I think so.
Yeah.
They did that diggy diggy hole song.
Yes.
Yes.
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole.
Yes.
And then they did like the club remix of it.
(45:44):
And that was even better.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
You have sent that to me.
I think you listened to army of stone.
And you were like, yes.
Great.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
That rings a bell.
Oh, cool.
That's great songs.
I'd love to add them to the playlist.
If I was going to like get you to add play like songs to the players, it would have to
(46:05):
be either army of stone.
Or diggy hole.
They've got another one that just came out.
Rock and stone, which is actually in conjunction with that game.
Deep rock galactic.
Okay.
In space.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
But no, yeah.
(46:26):
Army of stone is fucking epic.
I love it.
And yeah, wind rose.
Really, really cool.
I'm pretty sure they're Italian or something like that.
Yeah.
Okay.
They're like, there's those videos.
They're all dressed up and stuff.
Yeah.
And looks really cool.
Dwarf.
(46:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just the way that he's dressed and everything.
Hmm.
It's cool.
Yeah.
I do remember.
I do remember you said to me those.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
So skill it and wind rose this week.
Awesome.
All right.
I'll add all of those.
I'll add all three of those.
Right.
The songs.
(47:09):
All three songs.
Yeah.
Psycho in my head.
Army of stone.
Diggy, diggy hole.
I'll let you choose which diggy, diggy hole version you want.
Version.
Or is that both?
Hmm.
Maybe.
See how I'm feeling.
Whether you actually do it or not too.
Oh yeah.
Look, I mean, I'll let it go for a very long time there, but I'm glad I've caught up and
all the songs are up there now.
I think we may have missed one.
Who knows?
(47:30):
Probably missed a couple, but fuck you.
You get them the pictures.
Probably missed a couple.
I'm not going to kick some lamb on over it.
No, certainly I'm not.
That's such a good song.
I know.
I told my housemate about it last night and she's like, that's amazing.
Yeah.
That's a really good song.
(47:51):
Yeah.
It really is.
It really is.
This week I was just going to mention, because I've been listening to a lot of different
stuff.
I've been listening to the playlist, which has been really good.
And I've been listening to a little bit of Bad Flower, not as much as I would have liked,
seeing as I'm going to go see them tomorrow night.
(48:12):
But one song that I've heard heaps and heaps and heaps, but don't know.
Just been enjoying the shit out of it this week is Kool Aid by Bring Me the Horizon.
Just don't know why.
It's a great song.
It's just cool.
Really like the ending too.
(48:34):
What does he say?
He says, like, or some shit like that, I think at the end of the track.
I can't remember.
But yeah, I don't know.
Just really well done song.
I think it's really cool.
I'm still obsessed with the album that came out before it.
Post-apocalyptic human nature.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
(48:55):
Okay.
Obviously, I've sent you Dear Diary, like how many fucking times?
Hmm.
I got a lot of really cool tracks.
Really cool songs.
So yeah, can add that one to the playlist.
I think it actually kept on coming up in the playlist with the smart shuffle thing.
I think it popped up before the smart shuffle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(49:16):
So it's like it's meant to be in there.
So I thought, you know what, just going to add it.
So, yeah.
I fucking love Bring Me the Horizon.
That's a bad one.
Really, really, really good.
I like seeing how they've evolved over the years too.
Hmm.
It's a good trait to have as a band and to stand test of time, you know,
(49:43):
move with the different changes in technology and production and likes of,
you know, different things coming out, you know, social media and media changes
and things like that.
It's a very good trait to have to be able to change with the times.
And that's a big part of what allows a band to be so successful
or so current for a long period of time.
(50:08):
Don't get us wrong.
There's plenty of bands out there that have stuck to the same thing they've done
since they started in a fucking garage and then became world-renowned band.
I wouldn't say musicians, but like Metallica.
Yeah.
They've done the same thing for fucking 50 years and there's nothing wrong with it.
(50:29):
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Still very, very popular.
Yeah.
So, no, it's good.
It is good.
Type, it's different styles.
You know, styles change with time.
So, we've spoken about this, especially metal.
We've spoken about what metal was back in the 80s to what metal is these days
(50:55):
is very fucking different.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, the styles have changed and it's very cool.
Interesting to see what the next 10 years brings for different styles
and things like that.
Metal will never die.
Metal will never die.
Just like, oh, I can't believe I haven't spoken about this.
Last week, I've heard it before, but I went through and listened to the Pick A Destiny,
(51:23):
all the tracks on Spotify.
They're just so good.
I love listening to the whole thing.
And one of the last songs that I don't actually think is in the movie,
I think it's the post credits, it's called The Metal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really, really good.
I'm going to have that.
Yeah.
(51:44):
So, basically, all the song is about is the fact that metal will never die.
Well, that is all we have time for this week.
Been a good episode.
I'm not going to lie, my PC crashed, so we're doing the ending.
We had to restart.
So, this is going to be shoved onto the end of the recording.
I can't wait to do that in post.
(52:06):
I always love when I have to do extra work.
Thanks for listening to this week's episode.
It's been great having a chat, as always.
Next week, we're going to talk about the feeling of being overwhelmed,
which happens to me all the time.
It's fine.
You get that on the big jobs.
Yes.
(52:28):
Jump onto social media.
We've got heaps of different new reels popping up.
We've got a TikTok.
I think we mentioned last week.
Yes, we've got a TikTok now.
Jump on, follow the TikTok page.
That'd be pretty cool.
Or don't, whatever you want to do.
Otherwise, we'll see you next week.
OK, do not be OK.
The Pain in Our Head podcast contains themes of course language, adult themes and the discussion
(00:05):
of mental health themes.
Some content may be emotionally challenging.
If you or someone you know is at risk, please visit the description for mental health and
suicide prevention contacts.
Enjoy the show.
(00:45):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
(01:14):
Uh, wow, what a week it's been.
Uh, first of all, I really need to ask, I need to pause the uploads.
I really need to ask, uh, who cut your hair and uh, point me in the direction.
I'll sort them out for you.
Wow!
What the fuck?
(01:37):
No, it looks good.
It looks good.
Nice, nice and fresh cut.
It's fucking good.
I love, I love having the sides fucking all cleaned up and fucking having my beard nice
and fucking made.
And it's like, oh yeah.
And then I trim the mustache back too so that you're not fucking eating your own mustache
(01:58):
hairs.
Oh yeah, how annoying is that?
I hate them all.
Hmm, no, it looks good.
Especially with your neck tap.
Yeah, it looks good.
Is that your good side?
You reckon?
Yeah, my left side's my good side.
Your left side?
That's literally why I got my tattoo on that side and my nose piercing.
Cause I was like, well, whenever I take selfies, it's always like, kaching.
(02:22):
So I was like, well, I don't want a tattoo on the other side when I, where I don't take
selfies.
Good point.
It's a good side.
Everyone's got a good side, I reckon.
No.
They're as bad as each other.
My good side's the bad.
Even then it's debatable.
(02:44):
It's a shame when I look in the mirror, I can't just see the back.
That's where I'll tell you what it looks like.
Back shots for the boys!
Oh, that reminds me of that sticker.
Remember that sticker early in the week that was on the back of the car that I told you
about?
Oh yeah.
That got me.
Hey.
(03:04):
Oh, that had me in stitches.
That had me in stitches.
Yeah, I was driving along work this week and someone had a sticker on the back of their
car.
And it said, if you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
I thought it was good.
I thought it was a good one.
I do like some hand pulling.
I thought you were going to say I do like stickers on the back of a car.
(03:31):
But yeah, I do like some stickers on the back of a car.
Funny.
No, not that do I.
I want to get a sticker of the podcast and check it on the back of the car.
Yeah, that'd be cool.
A really lame like drummer sticker.
I can't think of anything.
(03:52):
A lame drummer sticker.
You want to have a lame drummer sticker on the back of your car.
Just so people know to give you space because you're legally retarded.
I've been told that that laugh sounds like a chicken.
(04:16):
When I do that laugh.
I reckon it sounds like a chicken.
I'm like, sounds like a chicken.
Yeah, I can see that.
That's going to be a clip.
What's going on this week?
Fuck all.
(04:36):
Fuck all.
Just been working.
Been working.
Had a haircut, obviously.
I had a trim.
I don't really call it a haircut.
I just got the sides shaved up and beard tidied.
Just growing the top out.
How much is it you back?
(04:59):
60 bucks.
I was talking to a bloke at work the other day about the same fucking thing.
It's like 60 bucks for a quick number one around the sides and back.
Then he tidied up my fucking beard lines.
He was like, yeah, 60 bucks.
I was like, what the fuck?
(05:20):
I was like 40 last time.
You were probably there for what?
All the 15 fucking minutes?
You were probably waiting in line longer.
I was because some prick cut in front of me.
He was also there with a carer.
I was like, wow, you can just take it, I guess.
Yeah, well, he probably got a discount too.
Probably.
Intrusive thoughts there.
(05:41):
Fucking get canceled for those comments.
Yeah, let them.
Those intrusive thoughts win.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
That was good.
Always good to have a cut.
You always feel good afterwards.
When was the last time you had a fucking haircut?
It'd be going on a year now.
Didn't you get your hairline tidied up?
(06:03):
Yes, actually.
The last time I got a cut.
I did.
I did about a year ago when I graduated from uni.
Yeah, I went and got it tidied up.
I need another one.
It's too long.
I like it sitting at shoulder length, but now it goes down in the middle of my back.
I actually don't like having my hair out anymore because it's too long.
So I do need to get a cut because I do prefer to have the hair out rather than tied up.
(06:28):
I don't like to get the hair out because it's too long.
It's the same.
It had nothing to do with hair.
Yeah, it's been a good week.
It could.
You don't know how long my pubes are.
I've got no idea.
(06:50):
You use the same razor too, don't you?
Same razor for your face.
I use the same clippers.
Cut costs.
Just blow it off.
It's my body.
I don't give a shit.
(07:14):
I go for a shower once a week.
Don't get me started.
I've heard those stories about that guy.
I don't want to go there.
Just don't look it after yourself.
(07:34):
That helps with mental health.
Me too.
If I'm feeling real shit, I have a nice hot shower, get myself all cleaned up.
Especially after I got my hair cut, then I came home, had a nice hot shower, washed my hair and bit.
I was just like, yeah, pretty.
Yeah, guys feel pretty too.
Don't be afraid to tell us.
(07:56):
No one compliments guys.
Compliment you, Caleb.
In the best of times.
I spent a good week.
Not a lot's happened, really.
Just working.
Busy week.
(08:17):
Here we are.
Got a busy weekend coming up.
We're currently recording on a Saturday, which is very different.
Never recorded on a Saturday before.
He's going somewhere tomorrow night.
I don't know where he's going.
I think it's like a sex party for gays or something, isn't it?
(08:42):
I don't even have anything to come hit you back with.
But no, to where am I?
I'm going to Bad Flower.
Bad Flower is finally in Australia.
It's exciting.
It is, it's for the first time they've ever come here.
(09:05):
I don't care.
But the way you said Australia just broke me inside a little bit.
And then it reminded me of our little disagreement yesterday morning.
But yes, Bad Flower are in town and I'm super excited.
(09:29):
It's been a while now.
I think they announced it back in January.
Long time coming.
I'm very excited.
The two new singles have really grown on me.
You pull your face at me.
But what about Don't Hate Me?
I loved that song when I showed it to you.
Great song.
(09:50):
I'll be upset if they don't play it.
There's five songs that I really want to hear them play live.
If I don't hear at least three of those, I've got to be thoroughly upset.
It is what it is.
They can't play all their songs.
They've only got two albums and a handful of singles.
So depending on how long they play for, there's two other bands.
(10:14):
Gates are at seven, Dawes are at seven.
And I'd say the first two bands probably do a 45 to an hour set each.
That puts Bad Flower on probably at 9.30.
I'd say they go to 11.30 maybe.
Two hours, two and a bit hours.
That's a fair amount of time for a good amount of songs.
(10:37):
I hope they don't talk too much.
You're looking at probably 15.
I can't say from experience, but all of the shows that I've been to,
especially with international artists coming over to Australia,
I find that they do talk a fair bit.
They talk so much shit.
Oh, you know, the weather here has been good.
(11:00):
I was like, I'm going to go and do this.
And I got to this.
It's like, mate,
if I wanted to know what fucking holiday experiences you had,
I'd follow you on Instagram and keep up with your posts.
I'm not here to listen to your fucking holiday.
I want to hear you sing.
Play your songs.
You know, I'm here to bring this up.
See though, guess how many words they said at the concert?
(11:22):
One, two, thanks at the end.
That was it.
Three.
Fuck off, Caleb.
Yeah, probably.
I was in the front row, but I can cry my eyes out.
Yeah, no, so it's weird.
I don't know.
Maybe they just have the tendency to just nonstop talk.
But anyway, nevertheless, I'm very excited for that tomorrow night.
(11:43):
And you'll be hearing all about that next week when I talk about it on the podcast.
I'm going for a drumstick.
I hope a drumstick comes my way.
I hope it doesn't hit you in the eye.
I hope it does, because then at least I'll be able to take it home.
Oh yeah, drumstick in the eye.
Ow.
(12:05):
My fucking cheeks.
Yeah.
I can make him clap, y'all.
Cut ass.
Have you seen Paradise PD?
Yes.
Yes.
Dusty up on the desk.
Look, I can make him clap, y'all.
(12:28):
I haven't seen that for ages.
I fucking think there's more seasons now.
Yeah.
I've only seen the first season.
There's like three seasons now, I think.
Yeah, right.
I've only watched the first season.
I definitely watch it.
It's good.
I'm so bad, but so good.
Speaking of other shows, I've recently watched Fallout.
That whole season.
(12:51):
That's awesome.
Really, really good.
Done really well.
Anyway.
I've been talking shit for 12 minutes.
I just remember that message you sent about that Fallout episode.
It's like, with my penis?
Yeah.
(13:13):
Do you want to have sex?
With my cock?
Yeah, good TV show.
Really, really good.
I'm keen for more of that to come out.
Yes.
Yes.
Anyway.
This week, we were going to chat about romanticizing mental health.
Yep.
Just done a fair bit.
(13:35):
Stop fucking doing it.
End of episode.
Fucking sick of it.
Done.
Stop it.
Fuck off.
Stay in your own lane.
It's not nice.
It hurts.
It does.
It's a topic that we talked about a few weeks ago.
(13:59):
You brought it up.
Just about how lots of different mental health topics are romanticized.
Or thrown aside.
Or told that it's just in your head.
Let's not get into that again.
It's one of those things where you kind of forget.
(14:24):
You have to deal with it.
Just romanticizing, it's like saying or making something out to seem better.
Than it really is.
Did you have to Google that word, man?
I actually didn't.
Yeah, look at me go.
(14:46):
I Googled it a few weeks ago when you said it.
Romanticizing, that is a big word.
But it's done heaps.
Social media.
It can even be done through music.
Actually.
TV shows.
It's one we'll hit close to home for you.
(15:11):
I'll give you two guesses.
What do you think I'm going to say?
It's to do with romanticizing.
It's in media.
And it's very close to you.
What do you think I'm going to talk about?
What am I going to bring up here?
It's very close to me.
(15:34):
You've got me stumped.
It's in the media.
It's something that you find really entertaining.
I find lots of stuff entertaining.
You have to narrow it down.
I don't know if I can narrow it down any further.
As soon as I say one of these words, you'll be like, oh, it's this.
(15:58):
Oh, OK.
I give up.
The Joker and Harley Quinn.
OK, I'm ready to listen to your story.
How many people do you see romanticizing the whole Joker and Harley Quinn thing?
(16:23):
Making it out to be better than it really is.
And completely downplaying the whole fucking toxic relationship hierarchy between them.
Or, oh, yes.
And how completely unstable and broken Harley Quinn is.
And they're like, oh, yeah, Harley Quinn.
(16:46):
I'm so much like Harley Quinn.
And so many guys are like, I'm so much like the Joker.
And it's just like, you do realize that these two people are broken as fuck.
And they were just like, hmm.
Fictional characters, just going to put that out there.
But you're right.
There's a lot of fictional characters out there that are like that.
(17:08):
That people cling on to and say, oh, yeah, that's just what I'm like.
That's what I'm like.
But you haven't seen the Harley Quinn TV show, have you?
There was one.
Yes, the Harley Quinn TV show.
It's fucking awesome.
It actually opens that can of worms, actually.
It talks about the abusive relationship between those two characters.
(17:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really intelligently done.
So that also covers off a whole heap of other issues as well.
So yeah, really well done, Shane.
It's a very, what do you call it?
What are we talking about at least?
What's it called?
The Prince, uh, gosh, PC, very PC.
Yeah, yeah, that TV show is very, very PC.
(17:59):
I just remember when they brought out, um, I don't remember,
like the Justice, not the Justice League, the one with fucking Harley Quinn
and all those other wankers.
Suicide Squad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People were like fucking all of a sudden again, oh yeah, I need like chicks.
(18:22):
I need me a man that's like the Joe who loves me like the Joker loves Harley Quinn.
This is like.
And same as guys doing the same thing with, you know, I need someone that's obsessed
with me like Harley Quinn.
You just like.
Oh, red flags.
No, it's unhealthy.
(18:43):
No, leave it for the fictional characters.
But no, that's a good point and how media can do that.
Yeah, yeah.
And romanticize those things and show that it's, you know, okay,
or it's not as bad as it's, you know, made out to be.
But no, these things are, they really are.
So, yeah, especially mental health.
(19:07):
There was lots of different things I was reading up on about romance.
About romanticizing mental health.
And one of the things that caught my eye was the fact of,
we've previously spoken about this as well, I think last week or the week before,
how you were saying, you know, people will throw around a term like,
(19:29):
oh, it's just, I've got a little bit of OCD or that's a little OCD about me.
And that's the thing, that's quite dangerous.
We've got to be really careful when we're throwing around those sort of terms like that.
Terms like depression, OCD, anxiety, personality disorder.
Self-diagnosing it.
(19:51):
And self-diagnosing it, yeah, is not the way to go about it.
No.
At all.
It's, yeah.
I'm going to be pretty fucking brutal during this episode because this one does hit close to home, this topic.
And I'm sorry, but if you're having a bit of a fucking sad,
(20:15):
don't go telling people you've got depression.
Like unless you've actually been fucking diagnosed with it, don't say you've got depression.
Say you're having a bit of a rough time.
There's alternative ways to express that you're not coping very well
without fucking diminishing what people who are actually diagnosed go through.
(20:39):
Because it's not the same.
It's not.
Depression is not just having a sad.
It's more than just fucking having a sad.
There is more to it.
It's not just going through a rough time in your life.
It's...
Yeah, yeah.
No, you're right.
It's downplaying the people who are diagnosed with these different mental health issues.
(21:01):
It's downplaying their experiences with those diagnosed conditions.
And it's overgeneralising the symptoms and saying that they just fit into lots of different people's lives.
And everyone has it and sort of just says that, you know, there's nothing wrong with them.
(21:22):
So that's not, you know, it's not right.
It's not right to downplay it like that.
So you've got to be really careful when you're throwing around those sort of things
and saying that sort of stuff in conversation.
Yeah.
The other thing too is if you're self-diagnosing as well,
like that gives the opportunity to misdiagnose as well.
(21:45):
So it's not really the right way to go about getting a professional diagnosis.
Because then you're not going to be able to go through the right steps to put things in motion, to help as well.
Just going to stack things on top of each other and make things worse.
Yeah. And also too, like self-diagnosing is also potentially preventing you from finding out what's going on.
(22:13):
Because if you are struggling with a certain period in your life and you just go,
I'm just depressed, you may not just be depressed.
You may have a trauma related response to something and you could be suffering from CPTSD or PTSD.
It could be actually depression or anxiety.
You could be having any number of issues.
(22:36):
It could be like a late development schizophrenia.
Like it's, you never know.
It's like, if you're not feeling that you're not yourself, if you are feeling that you're not yourself, go talk to someone.
Don't just fucking WebMD that shit.
Or fucking be like, oh man, those Instagram reels that you see where it's like, oh, if you can't handle loud noises and this and that and this, you're probably autistic.
(23:04):
It's like, yes, I was just about to bring that up because the ones that give me the shits are the visuals.
And it says, if you see this, you've got depression.
Or if you see this, you've got some like, yeah, those ones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good example.
Yeah, there's lots of those. And that's the spread of misinformation.
So that'll, you know, if someone who maybe does need to go get a professional diagnosis sees that sort of shit and goes, okay, maybe I could just do that as a test.
(23:35):
And there'll be silly little apps that they can download from the thread that's been put up because they've seen some photo.
And because they saw a moose instead of a cow, they've got depression.
Incredible bullshit. Those are just horny cows.
That's why I call your mum moose.
(24:00):
Sorry. What?
Because she's a horny cow.
I thought I might have had to explain it to you.
No, no, just sorry.
I don't know. Sometimes I just get these really good burns in my head and I'm just like, I can't let this one sit.
I'm just, I'm going to risk the friendship. It's worth it.
(24:23):
I was going to say, I was going to say sometimes you just, your filter goes missing and it just, your words blurt out.
But I know that that's a thing that happens. So I'll give it to you.
But yeah, so, but no, it's a, it's a big issue. It is.
(24:45):
It happens, like you said, media, social media around the place as well.
People just using it as an excuse.
And I'm not talking like people are being diagnosed and talk about, you know, if you're using it as an excuse to get out of things where like it's not actual, you know, a diagnosed condition for you.
(25:08):
People will use that.
You're not wrong though. Like even people that have been diagnosed with certain, so we'll use anxiety.
This perfect, perfect one.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, it's like, oh, I agreed to go to a party this weekend.
And then the day of the party, I decided to bail out because I don't want to go.
(25:33):
And then I'm going to tell everyone that it's because of my anxiety.
It's like, stop blaming your anxiety for you not wanting to do things.
Like I, I can say that because I have anxiety.
Sometimes you got to force yourself to do shit. And then when you get there, you'll enjoy yourself. Sometimes it won't. Sometimes it'll blow up in your face.
(25:54):
But like, don't use your, don't use your problems as an excuse to get out of shit. Like,
well, that's why I named the anxiety episode. It's just my anxiety.
Like we, I've done it. Like, don't get me wrong. I fucking done it.
Oh, look.
It's like, oh no, my mental health is playing up this week. And when in actual fact, I just wanted to sit there and play the fucking computer.
(26:19):
You know, it's like.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't want that though. Like there's different, everyone experiences up and downs with mental health.
So, but yes, there is a, there is a line. There's using it for an excuse. And then, you know,
actually having a problem. So. Yeah. Yeah.
(26:46):
It's a tricky one.
It's not really much to, like you said at the start of the episode, don't do it.
Stop romanticizing it. It's not really like a, you know, a five step process into how we can stop romanticizing it.
It's just a matter of not doing it.
Don't self diagnose and don't like, don't downplay someone that's got these problems by likening yourself to it.
(27:15):
Like it's not the same thing. Like I said before, if you self diagnose because of a situation you're going through,
like you're not experiencing the same thing that someone who actually has been diagnosed with it, you may have it.
Like I'm not, I'm not saying that you don't have fucking depression or anxiety,
but until you get that diagnosis and confirm that what you're experiencing is the same,
(27:40):
then just don't fucking do it because you don't understand what it's like living every day with a mental illness.
It's just, it's fucking shit. I'm not going to butter it up. It sucks.
You know, I spoke about, we spoke about BPD last week and like we just scratched the top of,
(28:08):
of what it's kind of like with BPD. I didn't go into too much detail of what my life looks like living with it
and how fucking hard it was to learn to live with it.
But just it's really insulting and hurtful when so many people and influences and just society in general are like making out the depression and anxiety and all this stuff and autism.
(28:37):
It's like, yeah, cool. Thanks for just downplaying what we have to live with every fucking day of our lives.
Yeah, it's, and it just generalizes it and it all it's doing is then just pushing it further and further away.
And you know, we want to try and go the opposite direction so that we can keep, I guess, spreading the word that it's important to speak about these things and talk about it and get, you know, correctly diagnosed and those sort of things,
(29:15):
because otherwise we'll just keep going in the opposite direction and it's not going to be helpful for anyone.
It's kind of like a double edged sword to like, yeah, it's good that the awareness about these problems is increasing.
But then it also diminishes the impact that they have on people's lives. So people will just start dismissing us.
(29:36):
Everyone's a little bit autistic.
I can go there, boy.
Don't do it.
Yes.
Well summed up.
Really well done. I found a quote too.
Did you?
I know it's a really good one. I did. I checked the chat. I only liked it because it was an artist that said this.
(30:01):
Yeah, I really like the artist.
We're about, yeah, we haven't talked about Lady Gaga before.
I think we have.
I like Lady Gaga.
I do too.
She's got really good music.
Yeah.
She's a really good songwriter.
She's a bit of a metalhead as well.
(30:24):
Yeah, really intelligent, really intelligent songwriting.
I do enjoy a lot of her songs. I can't say I enjoy the style, but the songwriting is really, really good.
I fucking love applause.
Say that again.
I love applause.
Applause.
(30:46):
I can't tell you what I like the most.
Just dance.
Yeah.
Oh, that actually reminds me. I don't know if it was that one. It's another.
One song, there was one song that was played as the alarm for like grade seven camp and it got blasted to wake us up that whole week.
(31:09):
I can't remember whether it was like Poker Face. It might have been Poker Face.
I guess she came out and admitted that every radio station shouldn't have been playing that song.
Did you see that where she admitted it?
Yeah. There's a lot of pop songs that are like that.
There's a lot of underlying meanings that are just over the top of our heads, but they get put onto radio because they're pop songs, popular.
(31:41):
Anyway, hit me with your quote. Give me your words of wisdom.
Well, not mine, the Lady Gaga's. I learned that my sadness never destroyed what was great about me.
You just have to go back to that greatness. Find that one little light that's left. I'm lucky I found one little glimmer stored away.
I don't know when she said it.
(32:04):
It's pretty cool. I like it. It's really, really cool.
I wanted to actually even discuss that as a whole topic.
The idea of sifting through the ashes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. There's always good to come out of bad. Always. I'm a big believer in that.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is. No, no, no. I honestly believe.
(32:29):
And I know you're going to disagree and I get that and that's fine. You're entitled to disagree.
But there is always something. This is just probably the.
What's the word?
Taylor always says that I'm optimistic. Yeah, that's the optimism that comes out of me, I think.
But I believe that there is always something good to come. Even even if it's not obvious.
(32:55):
But like, OK, for example, there might be no obvious good things, right?
There's just shit. Everything's been really bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
But what about the growth and the learnings from those bad experiences?
They're good things. They're not bad things. They can't be bad things.
That's growth. That's learning from mistakes.
(33:16):
So there is always a. You can't tell me that there is no good to come from bad.
But give it a go. Please.
You know, there is one topic I won't fucking talk about on this podcast.
And you cannot tell me that there has been anything fucking positive come out of that situation.
(33:37):
There is.
There's fucking not.
It's not obvious. Like I said, growth.
Learning from different mistakes.
What did I fucking.
It's not for me. That's not for me to tell.
(33:59):
That's not for me to tell.
What are you going to fucking you and go and find out.
Jackie cheating on me with her ex boyfriend.
What I learned from that, because that just fucking hurt me.
What did I learn?
We're not getting into your life stories, but go away and think about it yourself.
(34:20):
I didn't realize this was going to roll you up, but look, that's fair.
If you don't believe it, that's fine.
I do. I do. I really do. I don't like it.
Fair enough. I'll agree with you about the quote that, you know,
you sift through the ashes and find your little spark, but I don't agree that everything.
There's something positive to take away from it, because sometimes shit's just fucked and you get raw dogged.
(34:46):
Yes. Yes, you do. Fair enough. We'll agree to disagree.
That's good. Normally we can we find a middle ground,
but it's actually nice to be on opposite sides of something for once.
We're on opposite sides now, but I'm going to reach across that fence and drag you over to my side and beat the shit out of you.
(35:07):
And I'd still find good out of it.
Yeah, because you're a masochist. You enjoy it.
I was going to say, I just learned next time not to go too close to the fence.
But I made it sexual.
Anyone?
(35:29):
Very good. But no, it's a good quote. It is right.
You know, sift through the ashes, find your spark again.
You can always get beaten down, but you can always get back up.
That's about that song, Tub Thumping by Tub Thumping.
Get knocked down.
It's a fucking good song.
That's about getting drunk. Pretty sure, isn't it?
Getting absolutely smashed.
(35:51):
Yeah, pissing the night away.
That was a banger.
That's a good song. Talk about that.
We haven't even got up to the music chat yet, but great song.
I just want to say too, that's a fucking really good example there of good friendship,
quite firmly grounded in differing opinions.
And then we're straight back into talking shit and loving each other anyway.
(36:17):
That's a good example.
I told Shaz, the lady I live with, I told her, because we were talking about the day.
I was messaging Caleb all day.
She was like, how long have you known each other?
I was like, it's about three years, I think.
Before I moved to South Australia, I was still in...
(36:41):
I think you'd just moved.
I think I was still in Queensland.
Surely not.
I'm pretty sure.
Really?
Oh yeah, that's right.
Because I remember you telling me that you were moving to South Australia.
About three years, and she's like, where'd you meet?
(37:02):
And I was like, we haven't.
And she's like, what? We've never met.
We've never met.
So I told her the story of how we met each other and how our friendship grew.
And she's like, that's really beautiful.
And I was like, you're really gay.
Yeah, it's cool.
(37:24):
And one of those things, I was told gaming's bad for you.
Online friends aren't real friends.
Yeah, online friends aren't real friends.
Yeah, all that sort of stuff.
Fuck you, because you can make real friends online.
100%.
All my real friends are online.
Wednesdays through to Friday, strictly raid nights.
(37:48):
We could actually do that, but you won't play.
Yeah, no, no, I won't play that.
Anyway.
All right, let's have a quick ad break.
Hear a word from me.
Talk about some music on the other end.
The Pain in Our Head podcast is proudly sponsored by Music Magic Co.
(38:09):
and Brisbane rock band, The Flying Circus.
Visit the links in the podcast description for more information.
Back to the show.
Welcome back to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
We've been talking about romanticizing mental health.
Don't do it.
We're sick of it.
It's not funny anymore.
Never was funny.
(38:32):
I don't know where I was going with that.
Okay, there are some funny fucking reels out there.
I think what we're essentially trying to say is like, don't fucking self-diagnose.
Don't take away from the people that actually live with these problems.
Yeah.
And it's not as fucking fun or romantic as you think it is.
(38:57):
No, no, absolutely not.
But yeah, there are some funny reels out there.
There are some fucking funny reels out there.
Yeah.
Have you noticed there's a new...
That should be a reel.
Have you noticed there's a new button at the bottom of all my reels now?
And I don't know if you've got it on your Instagram.
But when I'm playing a reel, I've got a little bubble at the bottom and it'll just say send.
(39:24):
And it's got your profile.
And it'll just let me send it straight to you without actually having to hit share and then click on you.
I don't know if it's because I send you so many reels.
If I click the...
It just assumes.
I've got the like, the comment, and the send button.
And if I click the send button, it just pops up with like the most recent people that I send shit to in your front and center.
(39:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've got that.
But actually at the bottom of the reel now, I've got a little bubble that says send a chat and it's got your icon.
Your profile.
Yeah.
So I don't even have to...
I just hit the bottom and it sends it to you now.
Oh, man.
Yeah, crazy.
It's fucking sick.
Weird update.
Anyway.
Check if I need to update.
(40:10):
Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe.
All right.
Music.
Yep.
I've been listening to a lot of different music this week.
Oh, I don't think I've said this yet because I hadn't done it by the time we recorded last week.
The Pain in Our Head podcast Spotify playlist has been updated.
There is like almost four hours of all the music we have talked about over our 27 episodes.
(40:35):
Today's 28.
I finally started listening to it.
I have to think about that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great.
Some really great stuff on there.
It's almost like the people that run this podcast have got amazing taste in music.
Yes.
Yes.
Good opportunity there.
(40:56):
Yeah.
Well, you know what I said the other day.
Sucks to suck.
Squirt in there, man.
Yeah.
I'd rather kick start a landmine than listen to Happy by Mudvayne.
After you were belittling the shit out of the gift by Seda, mind you.
(41:19):
I know what I'm going to talk about.
It was quick.
Oh yeah?
Floor's yours.
Go for it.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to work out which song I want to talk about because it's a band that you admitted
you should probably like, but you don't actually like and you don't know why.
(41:42):
It just doesn't work for you.
Skill it.
Yeah, skill it.
They've never done it for me.
So probably Psycho in my head.
I don't even know if I've heard that.
Good.
Now you can add it to the podcast.
It'll come up and you'll be like, damn it.
I like this.
Another song for me to skip.
I'll have a listen to it.
(42:03):
I will have you know that I actually felt guilty after ragging on fucking Seda and like
dragging you through the mud to the point that I actually like got up the lyrics for
the gift, the gift, the gift and started learning to see if I could sing it just so I could
(42:24):
send you a video of me singing it.
Oh really?
Oh yes, yes.
I would have been very impressed.
No, even I struggled to sing that one.
It kills me.
It's got a great, it's just got a great meaning behind it.
Great song.
Anyway, okay.
Psycho in my head.
I actually started listening to skill it.
I don't know if they still identify as, but they were like originally like a Christian
(42:49):
band.
They may still be.
I'm not sure.
Yes, I remember that.
So I listened to them back when I was like 13 or 14 years old and I absolutely fucking
loved them.
Like, um, like earth invasion was an amazing song.
I loved the shit out of that.
And I was like, yeah, it's really cool.
(43:12):
And then, um, you know, they brought out a new album, like a couple of years later and
I was like, yes, sick.
Like whispers in the dark and comatose stuff like that.
I was like, yes, this is really good stuff.
And I stopped listening to them just because of the like whole that they were Christian.
And I was like, fuck religion.
Um, and then yeah, like a, a psycho in my head, a monster, I think it was.
(43:36):
Yeah.
Monster.
I think it was a fucking great song.
I was like, okay.
I was like, I got older and was like, I can still appreciate the music, even if it's got
like a religious theme behind it.
Cause you know, whatever everyone's entitled to their own beliefs, even if you're wrong.
Um, but you know, like just, yeah, I don't know.
(43:58):
I it's really cool.
Really cool music.
I wouldn't say really cool.
I just enjoy it.
I guess there's nothing overly excited about it.
Just some of the songs are I find quite enjoyable to listen to.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Oh yeah.
Look, I'm, I'm going to give them another try.
Cause when I listened to them, it was probably, I was about 13.
(44:19):
I think you'd probably enjoy some of their newest stuff.
Like the newest stuff is going to be up your alley.
I reckon.
Okay.
You may, you may convert to some of the newest skillet after this episode.
Okay.
Well, I'm very interested and intrigued to give them another crack.
Give them another go.
(44:41):
Hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
Not bad.
We didn't talk about anything else.
I was.
What was your, you said you had a, had a silly or a funny song.
I was going to talk about Windrose.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
You did say that.
Yep.
For two reasons.
Cause I've heard it all week.
(45:02):
No, cause one, cause they're really cool.
I really fucking like Windrose.
They're a power metal band.
And they sing about.
Wolves.
Not do that earlier.
(45:23):
Have you sent me, you sent me some videos.
I think you sent me a few songs of these, of these guys.
I think so.
Yeah.
They did that diggy diggy hole song.
Yes.
Yes.
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole.
Yes.
And then they did like the club remix of it.
(45:44):
And that was even better.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
You have sent that to me.
I think you listened to army of stone.
And you were like, yes.
Great.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
That rings a bell.
Oh, cool.
That's great songs.
I'd love to add them to the playlist.
If I was going to like get you to add play like songs to the players, it would have to
(46:05):
be either army of stone.
Or diggy hole.
They've got another one that just came out.
Rock and stone, which is actually in conjunction with that game.
Deep rock galactic.
Okay.
In space.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
But no, yeah.
(46:26):
Army of stone is fucking epic.
I love it.
And yeah, wind rose.
Really, really cool.
I'm pretty sure they're Italian or something like that.
Yeah.
Okay.
They're like, there's those videos.
They're all dressed up and stuff.
Yeah.
And looks really cool.
Dwarf.
(46:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just the way that he's dressed and everything.
Hmm.
It's cool.
Yeah.
I do remember.
I do remember you said to me those.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
So skill it and wind rose this week.
Awesome.
All right.
I'll add all of those.
I'll add all three of those.
Right.
The songs.
(47:09):
All three songs.
Yeah.
Psycho in my head.
Army of stone.
Diggy, diggy hole.
I'll let you choose which diggy, diggy hole version you want.
Version.
Or is that both?
Hmm.
Maybe.
See how I'm feeling.
Whether you actually do it or not too.
Oh yeah.
Look, I mean, I'll let it go for a very long time there, but I'm glad I've caught up and
all the songs are up there now.
I think we may have missed one.
Who knows?
(47:30):
Probably missed a couple, but fuck you.
You get them the pictures.
Probably missed a couple.
I'm not going to kick some lamb on over it.
No, certainly I'm not.
That's such a good song.
I know.
I told my housemate about it last night and she's like, that's amazing.
Yeah.
That's a really good song.
(47:51):
Yeah.
It really is.
It really is.
This week I was just going to mention, because I've been listening to a lot of different
stuff.
I've been listening to the playlist, which has been really good.
And I've been listening to a little bit of Bad Flower, not as much as I would have liked,
seeing as I'm going to go see them tomorrow night.
(48:12):
But one song that I've heard heaps and heaps and heaps, but don't know.
Just been enjoying the shit out of it this week is Kool Aid by Bring Me the Horizon.
Just don't know why.
It's a great song.
It's just cool.
Really like the ending too.
(48:34):
What does he say?
He says, like, or some shit like that, I think at the end of the track.
I can't remember.
But yeah, I don't know.
Just really well done song.
I think it's really cool.
I'm still obsessed with the album that came out before it.
Post-apocalyptic human nature.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
(48:55):
Okay.
Obviously, I've sent you Dear Diary, like how many fucking times?
Hmm.
I got a lot of really cool tracks.
Really cool songs.
So yeah, can add that one to the playlist.
I think it actually kept on coming up in the playlist with the smart shuffle thing.
I think it popped up before the smart shuffle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(49:16):
So it's like it's meant to be in there.
So I thought, you know what, just going to add it.
So, yeah.
I fucking love Bring Me the Horizon.
That's a bad one.
Really, really, really good.
I like seeing how they've evolved over the years too.
Hmm.
It's a good trait to have as a band and to stand test of time, you know,
(49:43):
move with the different changes in technology and production and likes of,
you know, different things coming out, you know, social media and media changes
and things like that.
It's a very good trait to have to be able to change with the times.
And that's a big part of what allows a band to be so successful
or so current for a long period of time.
(50:08):
Don't get us wrong.
There's plenty of bands out there that have stuck to the same thing they've done
since they started in a fucking garage and then became world-renowned band.
I wouldn't say musicians, but like Metallica.
Yeah.
They've done the same thing for fucking 50 years and there's nothing wrong with it.
(50:29):
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Still very, very popular.
Yeah.
So, no, it's good.
It is good.
Type, it's different styles.
You know, styles change with time.
So, we've spoken about this, especially metal.
We've spoken about what metal was back in the 80s to what metal is these days
(50:55):
is very fucking different.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, the styles have changed and it's very cool.
Interesting to see what the next 10 years brings for different styles
and things like that.
Metal will never die.
Metal will never die.
Just like, oh, I can't believe I haven't spoken about this.
Last week, I've heard it before, but I went through and listened to the Pick A Destiny,
(51:23):
all the tracks on Spotify.
They're just so good.
I love listening to the whole thing.
And one of the last songs that I don't actually think is in the movie,
I think it's the post credits, it's called The Metal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really, really good.
I'm going to have that.
Yeah.
(51:44):
So, basically, all the song is about is the fact that metal will never die.
Well, that is all we have time for this week.
Been a good episode.
I'm not going to lie, my PC crashed, so we're doing the ending.
We had to restart.
So, this is going to be shoved onto the end of the recording.
I can't wait to do that in post.
(52:06):
I always love when I have to do extra work.
Thanks for listening to this week's episode.
It's been great having a chat, as always.
Next week, we're going to talk about the feeling of being overwhelmed,
which happens to me all the time.
It's fine.
You get that on the big jobs.
Yes.
(52:28):
Jump onto social media.
We've got heaps of different new reels popping up.
We've got a TikTok.
I think we mentioned last week.
Yes, we've got a TikTok now.
Jump on, follow the TikTok page.
That'd be pretty cool.
Or don't, whatever you want to do.
Otherwise, we'll see you next week.
OK, do not be OK.
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