October 13, 2024 • 53 mins
Caleb & Christian discuss family and mental health, music, video games, disappointing movies, Instagram reels, and as always, laugh at each others misfortune. F is for Family.
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The Pain In Our Head Podcast is a video and audio series on different mental health issues combined with in depth discussions on music from all genres and styles. Caleb and Christian aim to speak from personal experience of mental health and work in the music industry to provide insight on how music has assisted in managing the personal PAIN IN OUR HEADs.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Pain in Our Head podcast contains themes of course language, adult themes and the discussion
(00:05):
of mental health themes.
Some content may be emotionally challenging.
If you or someone you know is at risk, please visit the description for mental health and
suicide prevention contacts.
Enjoy the show.
(00:44):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
What's going on?
Buckle.
Buckle.
Buckle.
Buckle, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm tired.
I'm moody.
Buckle.
All the above.
(01:06):
Yeah, nice.
Nice.
How are you?
I'm tired.
Yep, tired.
Busy.
It's raining for the first time in weeks.
It rained yesterday.
It stormed yesterday.
So yeah, that's it.
It's about as exciting as it gets.
Yeah.
Yeah, tried to do washing today and it's just I'm sitting there with a blow dryer because
(01:31):
well, it's raining.
I don't have a dryer.
Blow dryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm.
We just put clothes in front of the fireplace.
Oh yeah.
Find a Queensland home that like how many Queensland homes have you been in has a fireplace?
(01:54):
My first girlfriend had a fireplace and that's where I lost my opportunity.
On the fireplace or like.
Oh yeah.
On the fireplace.
In front of it you fucking idiot.
Yeah, right.
Up north though.
Yeah, back in Bundy.
Really?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Did I just DC?
(02:15):
I made DC, who knows.
Let's see what happens.
Hopefully my internet doesn't shit the bed with this storm that's coming through so we'll
just crack right into it.
Yeah, I don't know what happened there.
I've got fucking.
Same thing.
Yeah.
Hmm, nah.
Well, I think it's working fine.
It's still, still going.
(02:37):
I saw Jokertoo last week.
It was dog shit.
Don't go see it.
It sucked.
I haven't even seen the first one.
That's well, that's all you need to see.
Just watch the first one.
Stop there.
That's a fucking masterpiece.
Yeah.
Fucking really good fucking movie.
Gosh, you are a grumpy cunt aren't you?
I'm just not interested in the Joker.
(02:59):
You don't have to be interested in the Joker.
It's completely irrelevant and a relevant movie.
It's like not a part of anything like that.
I've spoken about it before.
I hate everything that like the Joker and Harley Quinn stand for and just how people
idolise their shit and it makes me angry.
So whatever.
You would enjoy it.
It's a, you know, it's, it's got nothing to do with the comic books.
(03:26):
Like at all.
So.
Betray a crazy person?
No.
No, no, it doesn't.
I wouldn't call him crazy.
It's the, it's a completely new written type of thing.
Hmm.
(03:46):
Anyway, regardless, it was shit.
The second one was shit.
I was disappointed.
The first one was really good.
The last time I went to the movies was for Deadpool 3 and I didn't regret it in the slightest.
Hmm.
Yeah.
That was a good movie.
A fucking brilliant movie.
Hmm.
(04:06):
Hmm.
I would guess maybe the year.
Yeah.
Yep.
They didn't, didn't really have anything to, um, compete with really.
Like it just hands down.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I can't think of any movies that have come out this year or anything coming out that
I'm actually excited.
I remember, like I used to really like follow like, oh yeah, there's a new movie coming
(04:30):
out.
Like can't wait to see it.
Hmm.
Actually there's that one that I sent you ages ago that.
Red one.
Why haven't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It comes out next month.
Yeah.
I haven't forgotten.
Neither have I.
That one looks really good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a Christmas movie with the rock kicking ass.
(04:50):
Yeah.
So I'm fucking down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll be, it'll be.
It'll be stupid.
It'll be stupid.
But like those movies are just fantastic.
Like it's just Dwayne Johnson going around punching snowmen.
I'm here for it.
Like it's snowed in Australia.
I would totally go around punching people.
(05:12):
Snowmen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've no, you know, I've never seen snow.
Me either.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
No.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I was meant to go to New Zealand on a family vacation with my now ex-wife and kids.
So I guess you're not going.
(05:33):
Yes, I'm not fucking going.
Yeah.
No, no.
I've never seen it.
No.
Snowball fights would be pretty cool.
Yeah.
Like we both know that we're both going to piss in the snow and make a snowball and throw
it at each other.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
A bit of yellow snow.
(05:54):
Yeah.
And then we're going to try and snowboard like we're fucking cool kids and we're both
going to end up in hospital.
Hmm.
Worth it.
Fuck yeah.
Hmm.
Fucking worth it.
Let's set up a whole little track with like little mounds and just be like going downhill
and just like over bumps.
(06:15):
Hmm.
I'd hide inside a little mound like as you got to do a jump, I just burst out the snow
and make you shit yourself.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Very good.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Thank you.
Very good.
Family vacations.
We didn't really do many family vacations like growing up.
(06:39):
Like we did, but they were always the same shit.
It was always like, let's go to the sunny coast for a couple of nights.
Let's go to Brisbane for a couple of nights.
It's like, been there a million fucking times.
It's only so much of the same shit you can see.
Yeah.
(07:00):
I remember one year we went to the Gold Coast and went to Dream World.
Oh yeah.
Because it had gotten that expensive to go to the local show every year.
Like it got to the point that it was the same price to travel to fucking five hours to the
Gold Coast, go to Dream World for the day as it was to stay in Bundy and go to the show
(07:21):
for a night or two.
Like it was fucking ludicrous.
Yeah.
We used to do that as well.
We didn't have to go as far.
Yeah.
But yeah, we didn't go to the Eka show.
Eka?
I've never been to the Eka.
I've been a couple of times, but it's not all that it's hyped up to be.
(07:42):
Like it's just like any show really.
Like, I don't know.
Lots of rides, lots of expensive show bags, ludicrously expensive food, parking.
You've got to catch some sort of fucking sickness and it's going to set your social anxiety
off because every prick in his dog is going to be all up in your shit.
(08:05):
You just want to swing on someone.
Yeah.
I'm not a fan of crowds.
We've read this channel.
I'm not a fan of crowds.
I'm not a fan of people.
Just in general.
Anyway.
(08:25):
Fuck you.
We're quite a fair bit to chat about.
We're going to have to try and shorten it down because there is way too much parts to
this topic.
TLDR.
Hey.
TLDR.
TLDR.
(08:46):
Yes.
TLDR.
Too long, didn't read.
Family is good for your mental health if they're good people.
See you later.
Yep.
Congratulations.
You've summed it up.
Yeah.
So we'll chat about it.
Am I fucking wrong?
That's pretty much it.
You get a healthy family.
(09:06):
Yes.
You got a good shot at having a healthy mental health.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That works.
Hmm.
Sound right, but it was right.
Yeah.
Yep.
Good English.
English good.
Fucking English.
(09:27):
It's more difficult than it needs to be.
It is.
You know?
So.
Hmm.
Anyway, yes.
You struggle.
I do struggle every day.
We're going to talk about mental health issues within families.
But we're going to very much just touch on that because that is just way too big.
(09:48):
Mainly, I want to really talk about is just the not feeling worthy in your family.
Hmm.
You know what I mean?
No.
I was doing some research and apparently it's a big, big factor in like a lot of younger
(10:11):
kids like coming through when they grow up, the feeling of like not feeling worth anything
within your family or not feeling good enough for your family can lead to lots of different
mental health implications.
Yeah.
Hmm.
(10:31):
You see those reels on Instagram where it's like talking about the siblings and it's like,
you may be the favorite sibling, but I'm the sibling they call when shit needs to get done.
I haven't seen those.
Probably because they don't apply to you.
Probably not.
That's why I see them.
Hmm.
(10:52):
Hmm.
I didn't feel unworthy.
That's good.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Anyway, so I'll chat about that a little bit because I think that's quite interesting.
And then the just positive relationships within a family and how that can boost your general
(11:15):
wellbeing.
It's kind of like you summed it up before, like, you know, if you've got good people
around you in your family, there's a good chance things are going to be good, but that's
not always the case.
No.
I'm pretty sure I've cut like every member of my family out at least once.
Hmm.
Yeah.
(11:36):
Like I didn't say to my mom for fucking years.
I didn't speak to my grandma for years.
I didn't fucking talk to my dad for years.
My youngest sister, fuck me.
Like I don't even, I don't remember the last time we had a good conversation.
Hmm.
It's weird, isn't it?
I always wonder why, like, you know, how I can get to that point, hey, but it happens.
(12:01):
We've done the same.
Yeah.
So conflict of interest.
I think is the right phrase.
Hmm.
I think I'm just stubborn.
Well is that so?
(12:21):
I ain't generally be stubborn.
A lot of your family members are stubborn.
I think that's something that's kind of put through your genes.
Like diarrhea, terrible, terrible.
Rims and your genes.
I haven't seen it being stubborn.
It's true though, but you know, hmm.
(12:43):
The amount of like, there's the other way to like, you may have siblings, but there's
also lots of people who don't have siblings, only child.
And I think sometimes that can be quite challenging.
Not that I've been in that situation.
I've got siblings.
But they're quite challenging.
You've got two sisters, don't you?
Yeah.
He's not going to listen to this.
(13:06):
No, he's never going to hear it, but we'll appreciate it.
Yeah.
But like, you know, only child, you know, people that you want to kind of surround yourself
with are just, you know, friends and things like that are in, you know, your age and like
(13:27):
cousins and stuff like that.
Like that could be, that would be difficult.
Right?
Like, I don't know.
I can imagine it would be difficult.
Got no idea what it's like, but I know people that were a single child and they found it
(13:49):
really challenging.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I think I have a really sick burn for my sisters.
I was going to say I wasn't quite an only child.
I was raised with two dogs.
They're never going to watch this.
I get along with one of them.
(14:11):
She sends me reels every other day.
Oh yeah.
Nice.
Nice.
It's usually just her and I swapping mental health reels about our parents and our family
trauma fucked us up.
Hey, I can relate to that.
(14:33):
I wonder what my sibling can do.
She sends me reels.
She's like, it's us.
It's our family.
And I'm like, oh fuck.
Yeah, right.
Hmm.
So yeah, no, it's quite interesting.
There's lots of different things that are part of this topic that we can dive into.
(14:58):
But yeah, the main thing I guess is just mental health issues within family.
So I've been doing, I read a little bit, not too much.
There's a few good articles out there about family engagement when it comes to mental
health patients.
So if you've got someone in your family that's going through mental health struggles, there
(15:21):
is some research and some ideas around the fact that involving the family can be good.
I wanted nothing to do with my family when I was going through my struggles.
Yeah, like that's what I was just about to say.
That's good in theory, but it all comes down to what the person going through it wants
(15:44):
or needs.
And especially if a lot of trauma or a lot of the things that have stemmed from to get
to that point have come from family, then I highly doubt that they're going to want
their family involved with the process.
(16:09):
I'm not blaming my family for all my mental health problems, but like, that didn't help.
Yeah.
I think that's probably part of the reason why when I do have mental health issues, I'm
like, I do it.
(16:32):
I deal with it.
Yeah.
So there'd be a huge amount of challenges when it came to that, when it comes to involving
family with mental health recovery and all that sort of stuff.
But there'd be lots of advantages too.
(16:53):
Well, that investigative journal that I sent you, that link, it was saying that studies
have shown that people who have a healthy relationship with their siblings tend to be
less depressed and have mental health issues when they're older compared to people who
(17:17):
have shitty relationships with their siblings.
How was your relationship with your siblings, Caleb?
Good.
Good now.
Going up.
Maybe different.
Who the fuck knows?
(17:37):
Yeah, that's right.
I think that's a really cool thing.
I think if you do have a really good relationship with your siblings, it can help dramatically.
So yeah, it stops that feeling of feeling alone.
Yeah, that's true.
You know, like I think that's a big part.
(17:59):
It's like, especially growing up, like you can't just, like as an adult, you can kind
of lean on your friends, but as a child, it's like you're in it together.
Yep.
Yep.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just small stuff.
You know, you couldn't do this or whatever.
And you were told no as a kid, but you know, all of your siblings were told no or whatever.
(18:23):
You couldn't do that.
You know, at least you could all have a cry about it together.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, so.
I had to explain.
Someone...
Yeah, I told you about that conversation on Saturday.
So how about that chick?
Yeah.
(18:44):
So we were talking about something and she made a joke about me.
She's like, oh, I'm sorry.
And I was like, you can't hurt me.
I used to hold a torch for my dad.
Oh yeah.
Yep.
But she didn't get it.
I mean, maybe not a lot of people maybe helped their dad on the car or just in general.
(19:06):
It's like a universally understood concept.
Yeah.
Like, everyone knows if your old man's working on the car.
Yeah.
Not even just the car though.
It's working on anything.
Fixing stuff around the house.
You've got to hold the torch and you fucking move it.
And then you know about it.
(19:27):
You fucking know about it.
You fuck around.
You find out.
I hate working on shit.
What's that?
Makes me mad.
Like fixing stuff.
Hey?
Like fixing stuff?
Like making stuff?
Yeah.
What about like building Ikea?
Yeah.
(19:48):
Yeah, you should have seen me building my computer.
I wanted to yeet that shit.
That's great.
Hmm.
Fair enough.
Do you read instructions?
It's a problem.
(20:12):
Throw the instructions away.
Go off book.
Yeah.
Not even a problem.
Hmm.
All right.
So yeah.
So lots of different obviously mental health issues.
It can arise within families.
(20:35):
Other people going through it in your family.
You could be going through it by yourself and not having some siblings around can be
tricky.
But otherwise, well, you may not have parents around.
So that's a whole other thing.
And the whole heap of other things that come up there like, you know, the feeling of abandonment
(20:56):
and lots and lots.
And you really would feel not worthy.
Yeah.
Right.
So that's just quite daunting.
And those things can weigh on you and definitely, definitely impact your mental health and
capacity.
Hmm.
I fucking hate this topic.
(21:22):
Yeah, it's not an easy one, is it?
No, no, no, no, it's not an easy one.
It's not an easy one to talk about.
It's like, what?
Super important.
It's like, you can't even like bring up fucking stories and shit.
Like, what am I going to do?
I can bring up stories about my past.
(21:42):
And it's like, I know some of my family watches this.
And it's like, I don't want to.
And it's like, it's not even that I don't want to like throw them under the bus.
It's like, it's like shit that I've already fucking like we've already dealt with.
Like, you know, it's like we've already fucking lived through it, moved on from it and fucking
healed by it.
It's like, and I don't really want to fucking throw it on the internet and be like, oh,
(22:05):
look, and then someone gets fucking upset because of like, you know, yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so normally we've got cool stories to tell you, but got any fucking cool stories
to tell you.
No, not personal ones.
I could, I could, I've got stories of other people that I like won't name, obviously.
(22:32):
And you know, the effects of that stuff like that.
Well, like for example, I used to know some people growing up, had quite a wealthy family
and the two kids and mum and dad at home as well.
Anyway, one was, one was really like good straight shooter and one was the complete
(22:59):
opposite.
Just really, really bad.
Fell into the wrong crowd, et cetera, et cetera, but just wouldn't, wouldn't give it a go.
And like, I could just, I could just imagine like, eventually how that bad kid would have
felt seeing his other sibling doing so well, getting so much praise.
(23:26):
And like, the thing that gets me is like the upbringing was exactly the same, like nothing
was different.
So, yeah.
Candidates for nurture versus nature.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's interesting how sometimes these situations like that, and you just think like, yeah,
(23:47):
what happened?
Maybe that's the thing.
Maybe there was some mental health issues there and things didn't get managed.
There wasn't a lot of engagement.
As for one of the articles talk about as well is the amount of engagement within families
and how that's such an important part to assisting and talking through different mental health
(24:13):
things when they arise, just to be able to get on top of it.
Just to like kind of beat that stigma around it, like, you know, toughen up.
And we always talk about this.
It's such an Australian thing too.
Suck it up, mate.
You'll be all right.
Yep.
That's it.
So just sort of...
Don't be such a pussy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(24:33):
That's exactly right.
Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about.
That was my favorite.
Oh, mate.
That was a good one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to think of some other ones now.
(24:55):
You ever got the, I'll turn this car right around.
I want to turn this car around.
We're going home.
I got kicked out of the car.
You got kicked out of the car?
Yeah, I was like, we'll go and see Grandma and Granddad.
I don't even remember what the fuck I did, but yeah, Dad fucking kicked me out of the
car and told me I had to walk the rest of the way.
(25:16):
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like that's happened to one of us as well.
And we got left.
I think one of us definitely got left.
Yeah, the shop's on purpose because we didn't want to leave.
So I think Mum's just like, all right, we're going.
The rest of us just went.
Yep.
You probably deserved it.
Yeah, probably.
(25:36):
It's probably me too.
Probably ended up walking home or something.
I got lost in the shops.
Did you?
Yeah, I remember that, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you get enticed by something and wandered off?
You saw the Barbies, didn't you?
Yeah, some nice guy was offering me candy in the change rooms.
I'm joking.
(26:00):
You left the candy and took the nice guy?
That's terrible.
I don't feel fucked up.
Anyway, I don't really want to talk too much more.
That's pretty much all we're going to talk about really is just a quick chat.
(26:20):
Just talk to your family.
What's the main points that we're trying to take away from it?
Well, just the same shit as always.
Family is important.
Family is important.
But actually, this is one thing I was going to bring up.
Extended family.
I've got a point to bring up too.
(26:41):
This gives me the shits.
Maybe it's different because if you don't grow up in a big, immediate family, it would
be pretty easy to try and cling on to some extended family, especially if they're maybe
cousins or things like that.
Your age when you're growing up, stuff like that.
(27:03):
Then when you get later in life and you're adults and stuff, even then, the seeking of
justification, justifying your existence to your extended family and having to be the
best thing.
(27:24):
There's a lot of stigma around that and it gives me the shits.
I feel like you've got to be the best family within all the extended families.
It gives me the shits.
It was a little bit of that when I grew up.
(27:46):
I've seen some other people go through it when they get into adulthood and they don't
feel like they fit in with any of their extended family.
It's like you're trying to get, I can't think of the word, but you want to feel like you're
good enough for your extended family.
(28:08):
I think that's a lot of crap.
I think that's way too much baggage to put on top of yourself and not worth the mental
strain.
I never had to worry about that.
This is going to sound arrogant as shit, but fuck you, judge me all you want.
(28:31):
I never had to worry about that because I always considered my immediate family was
kind of better off than all of my extended family, especially on my dad's side of the
family.
Dad's got fucking too many brothers and sisters, one, two, three, four, four, I think, three
(28:59):
sisters and a brother or something like that.
They all pretty much lived at home with their mum and dad still and were all just morbidly
obese unemployed people.
I was like, I didn't play in the same game.
I know that kind of sounds arrogant, but yeah, I never felt like I had to compare myself
(29:25):
to them.
It was just like...
Yeah.
No, well, that's interesting.
I just wanted to bring that up because it's a good point you make actually.
I feel like it can be similar to social media sometimes, but within your family, you know,
you're trying to compare yourself.
I've definitely seen it.
(29:46):
I've dated people who have had big families and they come from upper class families.
I don't know why the fuck they dated me, but whatever.
But you see it.
It's like, yeah, they're all kind of competing with each other.
It's like, well, I got a new car.
It's like, I got a new house.
I went to this vacation spot, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
(30:07):
And you're just like...
I got a pie and a cake for five bucks and it was fucking tops.
Yeah, I know.
Seems like a different world, doesn't it?
But anyway, I just, I can't imagine that being healthy at all and good for anyone's health.
(30:27):
I got a point I want to bring up.
It's my dick.
No, I ain't going to choke on it, bitch.
So now the people that listen to the podcast are going to get that.
I'm talking about Caleb drinking his water bottle.
(30:47):
Not what I said, but anyway.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, listening and not watching.
Yeah, it's like, as I went so I can see my dick.
It's like, yeah, anyway.
Anyway, family.
Family is important and they can be really good for your mental health.
(31:11):
But if you honestly feel like your family's fucking toxic as dog shit and they're no good
for you, don't be afraid to cut them out.
Yeah, do not feel like you're absolute, like you do not have to keep people in your life.
Doesn't matter if it's your mom, your dad, your fucking brothers, your sister, whoever,
it doesn't fucking matter.
(31:31):
If they're no good for you, they're no good for you.
Fuck them off.
Yeah, no, good point.
Yeah.
Just thought I would bring that up.
I think that's a very important one.
Because people always have that stigma where it's like, oh no, but it's like, I'm going
to use my mom for example.
I can't hurry up for, I want to say like three or four years.
(31:55):
We had a disagreement and it blew up big time and I stopped talking to her.
I was like, yep, no, don't talk to me anymore.
And we didn't talk for years until Aria, my daughter was born.
And then it was a very slow process of like bringing her back into my life.
(32:16):
At the time I felt justified.
I was like, fuck you.
Yeah.
Well, that's it.
So you've got to look out for number one first, yourself.
So I really like that point.
Yeah.
Because sometimes families can push your mental health backwards.
(32:38):
So when you are trying to get on top of your mental health, you're trying to put steps
into place and take precautions so that you can push and strive to a greater general mental
health.
You got to cut whatever you need to out of it.
Absolutely.
Yep.
That includes family.
That extends to friends, family, friends, all that sort of thing.
(33:01):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got to do what's right for you.
It doesn't matter how long your friendship's been going on.
Like I had a guy that I was like fucking ride or die with for shit.
Like, I want to say like eight years.
We did a lot of shit with each other.
(33:23):
Had each other's...
Fuck off.
Just hand stuff or?
Shut up.
Shut up.
We had each other's backs through like a lot.
And yeah, it got to the point where I was like, this guy's no fucking good for me.
And then, yeah, we had an argument and cut him out.
(33:46):
And it's like, yeah, there goes like eight years of like brotherhood, essentially.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, if people are no good, people are no good.
Nah, that's exactly right.
Yeah.
That's probably the best thing to take away from all this crap that we've discussed.
(34:09):
To be honest.
I feel like we fucking...
I feel like this is a shit episode.
I just feel like we haven't fucking done anything.
No.
We have.
It just, I don't know.
It's just one of those...
I don't know.
We made it crazy because we didn't want to do it.
We just like brushed over it because we're not interested in this at all.
(34:31):
It's not that we're not interested.
It's just like I said before, we can't get super into it like we normally do.
Like normally we make everything relatable as shit and then it's like we make it fun,
we make it interesting, but this is like one of those topics that like...
I've been thinking about it all week.
Like I haven't forgotten about it like I normally fucking do.
(34:53):
No, I didn't forget about this one either.
Yeah.
I'm like, what the fuck am I going to say?
What am I talking about?
How are we going to tie families into mental health?
Yeah.
Having a good family around you is great to support you and then having a shit family
around you can really fuck you up in the long run.
(35:14):
It's like, cool, let's turn that into a fucking 60 minute episode.
Like how?
And I can't tell personal stories because I don't want to fucking burn bridges and start
arguments.
I think we've done a rough.
Yeah, I think we've covered like the important things.
(35:35):
Yeah.
I believe it was enjoyable.
Oh well, let's have a quick break and then talk about some music and then yeah, we're
back in a moment.
The Pain in Our Head podcast is proudly sponsored by Music Magic Co and Brisbane rock band,
The Flying Circus.
Visit the links in the podcast description for more information.
(35:55):
Back to the show.
Welcome back to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
Talked about family and mental health.
Been great.
I'm going to go ahead and play it on.
I might find it.
Yeah, that's that's that's that's.
(36:15):
How do you give thumbs up?
And that's just what it does.
It's just, it's like what?
I'm just going to turn your hand.
Both of them do it like.
Yeah, right.
I'm not saying people like double joints with like fingers and stuff and like, you know,
oh, oh, whoa, that's that's.
That's far.
(36:36):
Yeah, they like they both do it too.
No, I got I saw it.
I saw it the first time.
I'm good.
I believe you.
That was I was not expecting that.
That's that was my elbows like hyperextend to.
Yeah, right.
I don't have any double jointed fingers, bones, elbows, knees, anything like that.
(36:59):
No.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah, just a generic, boring short person.
Certainly does.
I was going to say something.
I'm completely weirded out and grossed out by your thumbs now.
Yeah, thumbs up.
(37:21):
Nice.
Music.
What's tickling your pickle?
I know it's tickling your pickle.
You don't know what I'm going to talk about.
I've got no idea what you're going to talk about.
That's fucking right.
I just don't know what's been tickling your pickle.
(37:44):
My hand.
Browning.
The browning.
(38:11):
I had a very good Saturday afternoon and night.
And one of the friends.
Yeah, I did.
Hmm.
That's good.
That's good.
Yeah.
Next one of us.
And who's fucking sucks.
It's like I got voice messages from a very intoxicated Caleb again, confessing that
(38:35):
he loved me and he was very drunk.
I don't know about that.
You want me to bring it up?
No, it's good.
I'll go back to the messages up.
I'll go back and listen later.
I love you man.
You're so gay when you get drunk.
I love you man.
(38:59):
I couldn't walk straight.
I bet you could.
It sounded like you couldn't talk.
Oh yeah, but anyway.
I could hear it.
I could hear you, I'm like, you're gonna vomit tonight.
Yep.
Let's leave it at that.
He was drunk.
He was white girl wasted.
I was white girl wasted.
(39:20):
Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been white girl wasted.
Anyway.
I don't feel like it was that long ago to be honest, but anyway.
The browning.
It's a super fucking heavy band.
Hmm.
My mate sent me this like AI generated video and they'd put this song over it.
And I was just like.
(39:41):
It's video shit.
It was just like a reality sent me.
It was meant to like trip me out.
And the song though, that was playing over it.
I was like, what the fuck is this?
Like I need, I need this song.
This is really good.
And so I like did a bit of a fucking dig around and found it.
And it was sold drift by the Browning off of their upcoming album Omni.
(40:08):
And it's heavy as shit.
It's super fucking heavy, but they also have like electronic, like.
Trippy kind of music sections and shit.
It's like weird.
It's like a really weird blend.
But I enjoyed the absolute fuck out of it.
(40:30):
And yeah, I listened to that.
But then I also just smashed the absolute shit out of true power by I prevail and have been for like two weeks now since I saw them live.
I was just, yeah, like I didn't want to talk about them because I'm pretty sure I spoke about them last week.
And you meant to add like body bag.
But now I just want that whole fucking album on the playlist.
(40:53):
The whole thing.
Every song is great.
I didn't see that coming.
Would you be listening to Caleb?
Second Caesar.
I haven't been listening to much music.
No, no, no, nothing new, nothing exciting.
(41:15):
No, no.
But I was going to talk about, I don't know, you may have seen it.
There's some chick on Instagram, I assume TikTok as well.
I can't remember the name.
Does these music covers of different, lots of different songs.
(41:37):
But she does them on children's musical instruments.
I've been to some of that the other day.
Fucking excellent, like just really, really well done.
And just, yeah, thoroughly impressed at how well she plays these little instruments.
(42:04):
Like I'm talking a three string electric guitar that's like 40 centimeters, 50 centimeters.
They're all like kids instruments.
Like the little xylophone, the little bloody piano thing that makes like a really honky
tonk kind of sound.
And then throws it and does her own, I guess, remixed words or vocals.
(42:28):
Reimagined.
Reimagined is probably the best word for it.
Yeah.
It's great.
And it's all about being a mom, being a parent.
So yeah, thoroughly enjoy them.
I think they're really funny, really intelligent.
And I just enjoy watching them.
So that's my music thing.
You know what happens in two days?
On the 11th of October.
(42:50):
11th of October.
You don't know?
No, it's on the 11th of October.
Is that Friday?
I'll let you know in the morning.
On the Friday.
Isn't there an album coming out?
Mm-hmm.
You've told me.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
I can't remember.
(43:11):
Is that already?
Is that coming out already?
Mm-hmm.
Really?
In two days?
11th of October.
I don't think I've listened to the new single.
Didn't you say another single had dropped?
A third single?
I think, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
All right.
Cool.
Well, that's something to look forward to.
Yeah.
All right.
Mm.
That's my music.
(43:32):
I'm enjoying the music in a new game that I've been playing.
You don't like the game, so we'll skim over that.
You can't like anything.
You don't like anything.
Music?
What fucking music in it?
Oh, wait.
There was that bard.
You wouldn't fucking know.
You've played two hours.
There was that bard.
She was pretty cool.
(43:53):
The bard.
What?
You bitch.
You beat to one area.
Like, yeah.
Like, what music?
I can play the game and find out.
I don't want to.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
You're old and boring.
Throne and Liberty I've been playing and enjoying the music in that.
(44:16):
It's really well composed.
There's a lot of really nice composed music in it.
Really nice.
I'm enjoying playing it and listening to some of the compositions that are sitting behind
it.
And what else has got good music in it?
PUBG.
Fucking World of Warcraft.
Yeah.
Yep.
Those are fucking good.
(44:37):
Yep.
World of Warcraft has really good music.
Yeah.
Yeah, good music.
It's a lot of good music in games.
Hmm.
Trying to think of my favorite.
Can't think of it off the top of my head, but.
What's your favorite score?
Told you this.
(44:58):
A Dark Knight.
Always will be.
Yep.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Incredible score.
Incredible.
It is though.
Like, fight me about it because prove me wrong.
You can shove that fucking bent thumb right up where the sun don't shine.
(45:21):
Star Wars and Lord of the Rings is shit all over the Dark Knight, but whatever.
Not Star Wars, but Lord of the Rings comes in at a very close second.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're like, they're so different.
(45:42):
They're so different.
Star Wars was the first to do it, right?
It was the first to do it.
They were the first to like, incorporate, they do it well.
First to do it really well.
And then they did different like compositions for, I guess, feelings and different characters
(46:06):
and different settings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they did it really, really well.
Yeah.
So yeah.
They go down as the OG because it was just done so well.
But the Dark Knight took that idea and did it 10 times better.
(46:27):
Yeah.
Really good.
Anyway, I'm not going to go into it.
I already did.
I wrote a 3000 word essay at uni about it and got a fucking 98% on it.
So.
We're going to D-minus.
That's it.
That's all my interesting stuff.
Yeah.
Playing the new game.
Hmm.
(46:50):
Don't know.
Listen to the offspring on Friday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Continue to listen to I Prevail.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Better start listening to some Coldplay.
I'm seeing them in November down in Melbourne.
Yeah.
Hmm.
(47:11):
Not a huge fan.
I was of that earlier stuff.
Like I love I can't even think of the kind of think of the album now.
But you know, there's I like the old tracks like Clocks and Yellow and In My Place.
They've had a few along the way that I have minded either.
The Milo Ex Lotto album.
(47:32):
Oh, loved that album.
That's fantastic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
That's what you should have listened to on Saturday.
That would have taken you somewhere.
It's a really good, really good album.
I am.
I vividly remember playing.
(47:53):
This is this is Gringe.
I don't listen to anymore because it brings up this memory of playing.
You remember Hammer Hotel?
Someone was called.
I think it was.
You play that game.
Yep.
Some reason I have vivid memories about that game and listening to that that album.
Hmm.
It's like.
Is that like your song that you've got like cringy memories to?
(48:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like if I listen to that album, I'm like, oh, like I was young and dumb and that's great album.
Really cool.
I've got one song that I have like a really cringy memory to.
It was like this song that came out when I was in primary school and it was like, where's Johnny?
(48:38):
You know, you know that song like I don't think I know that song.
It was like I don't even know how it got onto like commercial radio.
It was like dance as fuck.
Yeah.
Right.
I like to listen to it.
I was obsessed with it.
Hmm.
And then one of the other kids that I was like hanging out with, he became obsessed with it.
(49:01):
I remember like pulling up to like hop out and go to school.
It was like, you know, like your fireman's like poles on the playgrounds.
It was like spinning around on top of one of those.
They're like, where's Johnny?
It was like screaming at me as I walked into school and I just cringed as fuck.
Stop listening to it.
Yeah.
That was it.
(49:22):
Hmm.
I feel cringe thinking about it.
I can still picture it.
I still picture it.
Wee.
I can't take it.
Nice one.
Spit on your pole.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I can do that next week when we talk about.
(49:43):
Hey.
One month.
Until.
Until.
Exactly one month.
Well, well, yeah, kind of.
What do you mean?
You're arriving on the ninth.
No, the eighth.
(50:05):
Where is it?
The ninth.
Is that the north?
Are you sure?
Did I book it for the north?
Oh, I'm glad you're with it because I forgot.
And also, I don't know what's that weekend, but yes, it is a month.
Hmm.
Oh, yes.
Because it's a Saturday now, not the Friday.
That's right.
I changed.
I changed it.
I had Friday in my head.
Hmm.
Hmm.
(50:26):
Yes, it'll be the ninth.
Ninth.
Oh, there you go.
One month.
Don't question me, bitch.
Hmm.
Someone's excited.
Yeah, I am.
I fucking am excited.
That's good.
I'm glad.
What are we talking about next week?
Everyone needs to leave a comment too and figure out what I'm going to put on the name card
(50:50):
when I pick him up from the airport.
Like, he's online nickname is Bomber and I can't walk into an airport with a big card
that says Bomber.
That's not going to add well for me.
I'm getting scripted.
You can.
It's just.
Like, yeah.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I already get fucking randomly selected for bomb screening whenever I go into a fucking
(51:15):
airport now.
I'm not even joking.
As soon as I got my face tattoo, the next time I went to an airport, it was like, have you
been selected for bomb screening?
I'm like, yeah, okay.
Sick.
I crack the shits because I always get, like, asked to get scanned with the metal detector
thing.
I don't think I've ever not been scanned.
At the football.
(51:36):
Every time.
And they only have like, not everyone goes through it.
Like they'll pull someone aside.
This is like every time I walk into a stadium, they're like, yep, come to the side.
I'm like, why do I look like someone's carrying a knife or something?
I don't know.
I am, but don't pull me aside.
Profiling me.
Yeah, fuck.
(51:57):
Well done.
You're right.
But fuck you for doing it.
I always, I always get pulled aside on that shit.
Like every time I go through a scanner, it's like, okay, pull aside, fucking sweep you,
check all your shit.
And it's like, cool.
You've been selected for bomb screening now.
And I'm like, why?
(52:19):
Look at him, he's got a beard and a face tattoo.
He's fucking, he's got a bomb.
Yeah.
They're like, no, I am the fucking bomb bitch.
Tell them that next time.
No.
No.
Like I'm all full fucking around to find it out.
(52:40):
Then you're going to get a couple of fingers up the yellow.
Maybe I shouldn't.
It's been a while.
Get them to fish around there for a little bit, see what they can find.
Maybe it's a little bit deeper.
Put another one in.
To the left.
That took a fucking tangent, didn't it?
(53:03):
It certainly did.
All right.
Next week, we don't know what we're talking about.
So it's going to be a surprise.
Yeah.
Look out for that.
Sucks to suck.
It's okay to not be okay.
It's not weak to speak.
Bye.
The Pain in Our Head podcast contains themes of course language, adult themes and the discussion
(00:05):
of mental health themes.
Some content may be emotionally challenging.
If you or someone you know is at risk, please visit the description for mental health and
suicide prevention contacts.
Enjoy the show.
(00:44):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
What's going on?
Buckle.
Buckle.
Buckle.
Buckle, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm tired.
I'm moody.
Buckle.
All the above.
(01:06):
Yeah, nice.
Nice.
How are you?
I'm tired.
Yep, tired.
Busy.
It's raining for the first time in weeks.
It rained yesterday.
It stormed yesterday.
So yeah, that's it.
It's about as exciting as it gets.
Yeah.
Yeah, tried to do washing today and it's just I'm sitting there with a blow dryer because
(01:31):
well, it's raining.
I don't have a dryer.
Blow dryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm, I think I like a hairdryer.
Hmm.
We just put clothes in front of the fireplace.
Oh yeah.
Find a Queensland home that like how many Queensland homes have you been in has a fireplace?
(01:54):
My first girlfriend had a fireplace and that's where I lost my opportunity.
On the fireplace or like.
Oh yeah.
On the fireplace.
In front of it you fucking idiot.
Yeah, right.
Up north though.
Yeah, back in Bundy.
Really?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Did I just DC?
(02:15):
I made DC, who knows.
Let's see what happens.
Hopefully my internet doesn't shit the bed with this storm that's coming through so we'll
just crack right into it.
Yeah, I don't know what happened there.
I've got fucking.
Same thing.
Yeah.
Hmm, nah.
Well, I think it's working fine.
It's still, still going.
(02:37):
I saw Jokertoo last week.
It was dog shit.
Don't go see it.
It sucked.
I haven't even seen the first one.
That's well, that's all you need to see.
Just watch the first one.
Stop there.
That's a fucking masterpiece.
Yeah.
Fucking really good fucking movie.
Gosh, you are a grumpy cunt aren't you?
I'm just not interested in the Joker.
(02:59):
You don't have to be interested in the Joker.
It's completely irrelevant and a relevant movie.
It's like not a part of anything like that.
I've spoken about it before.
I hate everything that like the Joker and Harley Quinn stand for and just how people
idolise their shit and it makes me angry.
So whatever.
You would enjoy it.
It's a, you know, it's, it's got nothing to do with the comic books.
(03:26):
Like at all.
So.
Betray a crazy person?
No.
No, no, it doesn't.
I wouldn't call him crazy.
It's the, it's a completely new written type of thing.
Hmm.
(03:46):
Anyway, regardless, it was shit.
The second one was shit.
I was disappointed.
The first one was really good.
The last time I went to the movies was for Deadpool 3 and I didn't regret it in the slightest.
Hmm.
Yeah.
That was a good movie.
A fucking brilliant movie.
Hmm.
(04:06):
Hmm.
I would guess maybe the year.
Yeah.
Yep.
They didn't, didn't really have anything to, um, compete with really.
Like it just hands down.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I can't think of any movies that have come out this year or anything coming out that
I'm actually excited.
I remember, like I used to really like follow like, oh yeah, there's a new movie coming
(04:30):
out.
Like can't wait to see it.
Hmm.
Actually there's that one that I sent you ages ago that.
Red one.
Why haven't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It comes out next month.
Yeah.
I haven't forgotten.
Neither have I.
That one looks really good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a Christmas movie with the rock kicking ass.
(04:50):
Yeah.
So I'm fucking down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll be, it'll be.
It'll be stupid.
It'll be stupid.
But like those movies are just fantastic.
Like it's just Dwayne Johnson going around punching snowmen.
I'm here for it.
Like it's snowed in Australia.
I would totally go around punching people.
(05:12):
Snowmen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've no, you know, I've never seen snow.
Me either.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
No.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I was meant to go to New Zealand on a family vacation with my now ex-wife and kids.
So I guess you're not going.
(05:33):
Yes, I'm not fucking going.
Yeah.
No, no.
I've never seen it.
No.
Snowball fights would be pretty cool.
Yeah.
Like we both know that we're both going to piss in the snow and make a snowball and throw
it at each other.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
A bit of yellow snow.
(05:54):
Yeah.
And then we're going to try and snowboard like we're fucking cool kids and we're both
going to end up in hospital.
Hmm.
Worth it.
Fuck yeah.
Hmm.
Fucking worth it.
Let's set up a whole little track with like little mounds and just be like going downhill
and just like over bumps.
(06:15):
Hmm.
I'd hide inside a little mound like as you got to do a jump, I just burst out the snow
and make you shit yourself.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Very good.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Thank you.
Very good.
Family vacations.
We didn't really do many family vacations like growing up.
(06:39):
Like we did, but they were always the same shit.
It was always like, let's go to the sunny coast for a couple of nights.
Let's go to Brisbane for a couple of nights.
It's like, been there a million fucking times.
It's only so much of the same shit you can see.
Yeah.
(07:00):
I remember one year we went to the Gold Coast and went to Dream World.
Oh yeah.
Because it had gotten that expensive to go to the local show every year.
Like it got to the point that it was the same price to travel to fucking five hours to the
Gold Coast, go to Dream World for the day as it was to stay in Bundy and go to the show
(07:21):
for a night or two.
Like it was fucking ludicrous.
Yeah.
We used to do that as well.
We didn't have to go as far.
Yeah.
But yeah, we didn't go to the Eka show.
Eka?
I've never been to the Eka.
I've been a couple of times, but it's not all that it's hyped up to be.
(07:42):
Like it's just like any show really.
Like, I don't know.
Lots of rides, lots of expensive show bags, ludicrously expensive food, parking.
You've got to catch some sort of fucking sickness and it's going to set your social anxiety
off because every prick in his dog is going to be all up in your shit.
(08:05):
You just want to swing on someone.
Yeah.
I'm not a fan of crowds.
We've read this channel.
I'm not a fan of crowds.
I'm not a fan of people.
Just in general.
Anyway.
(08:25):
Fuck you.
We're quite a fair bit to chat about.
We're going to have to try and shorten it down because there is way too much parts to
this topic.
TLDR.
Hey.
TLDR.
TLDR.
(08:46):
Yes.
TLDR.
Too long, didn't read.
Family is good for your mental health if they're good people.
See you later.
Yep.
Congratulations.
You've summed it up.
Yeah.
So we'll chat about it.
Am I fucking wrong?
That's pretty much it.
You get a healthy family.
(09:06):
Yes.
You got a good shot at having a healthy mental health.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That works.
Hmm.
Sound right, but it was right.
Yeah.
Yep.
Good English.
English good.
Fucking English.
(09:27):
It's more difficult than it needs to be.
It is.
You know?
So.
Hmm.
Anyway, yes.
You struggle.
I do struggle every day.
We're going to talk about mental health issues within families.
But we're going to very much just touch on that because that is just way too big.
(09:48):
Mainly, I want to really talk about is just the not feeling worthy in your family.
Hmm.
You know what I mean?
No.
I was doing some research and apparently it's a big, big factor in like a lot of younger
(10:11):
kids like coming through when they grow up, the feeling of like not feeling worth anything
within your family or not feeling good enough for your family can lead to lots of different
mental health implications.
Yeah.
Hmm.
(10:31):
You see those reels on Instagram where it's like talking about the siblings and it's like,
you may be the favorite sibling, but I'm the sibling they call when shit needs to get done.
I haven't seen those.
Probably because they don't apply to you.
Probably not.
That's why I see them.
Hmm.
(10:52):
Hmm.
I didn't feel unworthy.
That's good.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Anyway, so I'll chat about that a little bit because I think that's quite interesting.
And then the just positive relationships within a family and how that can boost your general
(11:15):
wellbeing.
It's kind of like you summed it up before, like, you know, if you've got good people
around you in your family, there's a good chance things are going to be good, but that's
not always the case.
No.
I'm pretty sure I've cut like every member of my family out at least once.
Hmm.
Yeah.
(11:36):
Like I didn't say to my mom for fucking years.
I didn't speak to my grandma for years.
I didn't fucking talk to my dad for years.
My youngest sister, fuck me.
Like I don't even, I don't remember the last time we had a good conversation.
Hmm.
It's weird, isn't it?
I always wonder why, like, you know, how I can get to that point, hey, but it happens.
(12:01):
We've done the same.
Yeah.
So conflict of interest.
I think is the right phrase.
Hmm.
I think I'm just stubborn.
Well is that so?
(12:21):
I ain't generally be stubborn.
A lot of your family members are stubborn.
I think that's something that's kind of put through your genes.
Like diarrhea, terrible, terrible.
Rims and your genes.
I haven't seen it being stubborn.
It's true though, but you know, hmm.
(12:43):
The amount of like, there's the other way to like, you may have siblings, but there's
also lots of people who don't have siblings, only child.
And I think sometimes that can be quite challenging.
Not that I've been in that situation.
I've got siblings.
But they're quite challenging.
You've got two sisters, don't you?
Yeah.
He's not going to listen to this.
(13:06):
No, he's never going to hear it, but we'll appreciate it.
Yeah.
But like, you know, only child, you know, people that you want to kind of surround yourself
with are just, you know, friends and things like that are in, you know, your age and like
(13:27):
cousins and stuff like that.
Like that could be, that would be difficult.
Right?
Like, I don't know.
I can imagine it would be difficult.
Got no idea what it's like, but I know people that were a single child and they found it
(13:49):
really challenging.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I think I have a really sick burn for my sisters.
I was going to say I wasn't quite an only child.
I was raised with two dogs.
They're never going to watch this.
I get along with one of them.
(14:11):
She sends me reels every other day.
Oh yeah.
Nice.
Nice.
It's usually just her and I swapping mental health reels about our parents and our family
trauma fucked us up.
Hey, I can relate to that.
(14:33):
I wonder what my sibling can do.
She sends me reels.
She's like, it's us.
It's our family.
And I'm like, oh fuck.
Yeah, right.
Hmm.
So yeah, no, it's quite interesting.
There's lots of different things that are part of this topic that we can dive into.
(14:58):
But yeah, the main thing I guess is just mental health issues within family.
So I've been doing, I read a little bit, not too much.
There's a few good articles out there about family engagement when it comes to mental
health patients.
So if you've got someone in your family that's going through mental health struggles, there
(15:21):
is some research and some ideas around the fact that involving the family can be good.
I wanted nothing to do with my family when I was going through my struggles.
Yeah, like that's what I was just about to say.
That's good in theory, but it all comes down to what the person going through it wants
(15:44):
or needs.
And especially if a lot of trauma or a lot of the things that have stemmed from to get
to that point have come from family, then I highly doubt that they're going to want
their family involved with the process.
(16:09):
I'm not blaming my family for all my mental health problems, but like, that didn't help.
Yeah.
I think that's probably part of the reason why when I do have mental health issues, I'm
like, I do it.
(16:32):
I deal with it.
Yeah.
So there'd be a huge amount of challenges when it came to that, when it comes to involving
family with mental health recovery and all that sort of stuff.
But there'd be lots of advantages too.
(16:53):
Well, that investigative journal that I sent you, that link, it was saying that studies
have shown that people who have a healthy relationship with their siblings tend to be
less depressed and have mental health issues when they're older compared to people who
(17:17):
have shitty relationships with their siblings.
How was your relationship with your siblings, Caleb?
Good.
Good now.
Going up.
Maybe different.
Who the fuck knows?
(17:37):
Yeah, that's right.
I think that's a really cool thing.
I think if you do have a really good relationship with your siblings, it can help dramatically.
So yeah, it stops that feeling of feeling alone.
Yeah, that's true.
You know, like I think that's a big part.
(17:59):
It's like, especially growing up, like you can't just, like as an adult, you can kind
of lean on your friends, but as a child, it's like you're in it together.
Yep.
Yep.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just small stuff.
You know, you couldn't do this or whatever.
And you were told no as a kid, but you know, all of your siblings were told no or whatever.
(18:23):
You couldn't do that.
You know, at least you could all have a cry about it together.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, so.
I had to explain.
Someone...
Yeah, I told you about that conversation on Saturday.
So how about that chick?
Yeah.
(18:44):
So we were talking about something and she made a joke about me.
She's like, oh, I'm sorry.
And I was like, you can't hurt me.
I used to hold a torch for my dad.
Oh yeah.
Yep.
But she didn't get it.
I mean, maybe not a lot of people maybe helped their dad on the car or just in general.
(19:06):
It's like a universally understood concept.
Yeah.
Like, everyone knows if your old man's working on the car.
Yeah.
Not even just the car though.
It's working on anything.
Fixing stuff around the house.
You've got to hold the torch and you fucking move it.
And then you know about it.
(19:27):
You fucking know about it.
You fuck around.
You find out.
I hate working on shit.
What's that?
Makes me mad.
Like fixing stuff.
Hey?
Like fixing stuff?
Like making stuff?
Yeah.
What about like building Ikea?
Yeah.
(19:48):
Yeah, you should have seen me building my computer.
I wanted to yeet that shit.
That's great.
Hmm.
Fair enough.
Do you read instructions?
It's a problem.
(20:12):
Throw the instructions away.
Go off book.
Yeah.
Not even a problem.
Hmm.
All right.
So yeah.
So lots of different obviously mental health issues.
It can arise within families.
(20:35):
Other people going through it in your family.
You could be going through it by yourself and not having some siblings around can be
tricky.
But otherwise, well, you may not have parents around.
So that's a whole other thing.
And the whole heap of other things that come up there like, you know, the feeling of abandonment
(20:56):
and lots and lots.
And you really would feel not worthy.
Yeah.
Right.
So that's just quite daunting.
And those things can weigh on you and definitely, definitely impact your mental health and
capacity.
Hmm.
I fucking hate this topic.
(21:22):
Yeah, it's not an easy one, is it?
No, no, no, no, it's not an easy one.
It's not an easy one to talk about.
It's like, what?
Super important.
It's like, you can't even like bring up fucking stories and shit.
Like, what am I going to do?
I can bring up stories about my past.
(21:42):
And it's like, I know some of my family watches this.
And it's like, I don't want to.
And it's like, it's not even that I don't want to like throw them under the bus.
It's like, it's like shit that I've already fucking like we've already dealt with.
Like, you know, it's like we've already fucking lived through it, moved on from it and fucking
healed by it.
It's like, and I don't really want to fucking throw it on the internet and be like, oh,
(22:05):
look, and then someone gets fucking upset because of like, you know, yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so normally we've got cool stories to tell you, but got any fucking cool stories
to tell you.
No, not personal ones.
I could, I could, I've got stories of other people that I like won't name, obviously.
(22:32):
And you know, the effects of that stuff like that.
Well, like for example, I used to know some people growing up, had quite a wealthy family
and the two kids and mum and dad at home as well.
Anyway, one was, one was really like good straight shooter and one was the complete
(22:59):
opposite.
Just really, really bad.
Fell into the wrong crowd, et cetera, et cetera, but just wouldn't, wouldn't give it a go.
And like, I could just, I could just imagine like, eventually how that bad kid would have
felt seeing his other sibling doing so well, getting so much praise.
(23:26):
And like, the thing that gets me is like the upbringing was exactly the same, like nothing
was different.
So, yeah.
Candidates for nurture versus nature.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's interesting how sometimes these situations like that, and you just think like, yeah,
(23:47):
what happened?
Maybe that's the thing.
Maybe there was some mental health issues there and things didn't get managed.
There wasn't a lot of engagement.
As for one of the articles talk about as well is the amount of engagement within families
and how that's such an important part to assisting and talking through different mental health
(24:13):
things when they arise, just to be able to get on top of it.
Just to like kind of beat that stigma around it, like, you know, toughen up.
And we always talk about this.
It's such an Australian thing too.
Suck it up, mate.
You'll be all right.
Yep.
That's it.
So just sort of...
Don't be such a pussy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(24:33):
That's exactly right.
Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about.
That was my favorite.
Oh, mate.
That was a good one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to think of some other ones now.
(24:55):
You ever got the, I'll turn this car right around.
I want to turn this car around.
We're going home.
I got kicked out of the car.
You got kicked out of the car?
Yeah, I was like, we'll go and see Grandma and Granddad.
I don't even remember what the fuck I did, but yeah, Dad fucking kicked me out of the
car and told me I had to walk the rest of the way.
(25:16):
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like that's happened to one of us as well.
And we got left.
I think one of us definitely got left.
Yeah, the shop's on purpose because we didn't want to leave.
So I think Mum's just like, all right, we're going.
The rest of us just went.
Yep.
You probably deserved it.
Yeah, probably.
(25:36):
It's probably me too.
Probably ended up walking home or something.
I got lost in the shops.
Did you?
Yeah, I remember that, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you get enticed by something and wandered off?
You saw the Barbies, didn't you?
Yeah, some nice guy was offering me candy in the change rooms.
I'm joking.
(26:00):
You left the candy and took the nice guy?
That's terrible.
I don't feel fucked up.
Anyway, I don't really want to talk too much more.
That's pretty much all we're going to talk about really is just a quick chat.
(26:20):
Just talk to your family.
What's the main points that we're trying to take away from it?
Well, just the same shit as always.
Family is important.
Family is important.
But actually, this is one thing I was going to bring up.
Extended family.
I've got a point to bring up too.
(26:41):
This gives me the shits.
Maybe it's different because if you don't grow up in a big, immediate family, it would
be pretty easy to try and cling on to some extended family, especially if they're maybe
cousins or things like that.
Your age when you're growing up, stuff like that.
(27:03):
Then when you get later in life and you're adults and stuff, even then, the seeking of
justification, justifying your existence to your extended family and having to be the
best thing.
(27:24):
There's a lot of stigma around that and it gives me the shits.
I feel like you've got to be the best family within all the extended families.
It gives me the shits.
It was a little bit of that when I grew up.
(27:46):
I've seen some other people go through it when they get into adulthood and they don't
feel like they fit in with any of their extended family.
It's like you're trying to get, I can't think of the word, but you want to feel like you're
good enough for your extended family.
(28:08):
I think that's a lot of crap.
I think that's way too much baggage to put on top of yourself and not worth the mental
strain.
I never had to worry about that.
This is going to sound arrogant as shit, but fuck you, judge me all you want.
(28:31):
I never had to worry about that because I always considered my immediate family was
kind of better off than all of my extended family, especially on my dad's side of the
family.
Dad's got fucking too many brothers and sisters, one, two, three, four, four, I think, three
(28:59):
sisters and a brother or something like that.
They all pretty much lived at home with their mum and dad still and were all just morbidly
obese unemployed people.
I was like, I didn't play in the same game.
I know that kind of sounds arrogant, but yeah, I never felt like I had to compare myself
(29:25):
to them.
It was just like...
Yeah.
No, well, that's interesting.
I just wanted to bring that up because it's a good point you make actually.
I feel like it can be similar to social media sometimes, but within your family, you know,
you're trying to compare yourself.
I've definitely seen it.
(29:46):
I've dated people who have had big families and they come from upper class families.
I don't know why the fuck they dated me, but whatever.
But you see it.
It's like, yeah, they're all kind of competing with each other.
It's like, well, I got a new car.
It's like, I got a new house.
I went to this vacation spot, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
(30:07):
And you're just like...
I got a pie and a cake for five bucks and it was fucking tops.
Yeah, I know.
Seems like a different world, doesn't it?
But anyway, I just, I can't imagine that being healthy at all and good for anyone's health.
(30:27):
I got a point I want to bring up.
It's my dick.
No, I ain't going to choke on it, bitch.
So now the people that listen to the podcast are going to get that.
I'm talking about Caleb drinking his water bottle.
(30:47):
Not what I said, but anyway.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, listening and not watching.
Yeah, it's like, as I went so I can see my dick.
It's like, yeah, anyway.
Anyway, family.
Family is important and they can be really good for your mental health.
(31:11):
But if you honestly feel like your family's fucking toxic as dog shit and they're no good
for you, don't be afraid to cut them out.
Yeah, do not feel like you're absolute, like you do not have to keep people in your life.
Doesn't matter if it's your mom, your dad, your fucking brothers, your sister, whoever,
it doesn't fucking matter.
(31:31):
If they're no good for you, they're no good for you.
Fuck them off.
Yeah, no, good point.
Yeah.
Just thought I would bring that up.
I think that's a very important one.
Because people always have that stigma where it's like, oh no, but it's like, I'm going
to use my mom for example.
I can't hurry up for, I want to say like three or four years.
(31:55):
We had a disagreement and it blew up big time and I stopped talking to her.
I was like, yep, no, don't talk to me anymore.
And we didn't talk for years until Aria, my daughter was born.
And then it was a very slow process of like bringing her back into my life.
(32:16):
At the time I felt justified.
I was like, fuck you.
Yeah.
Well, that's it.
So you've got to look out for number one first, yourself.
So I really like that point.
Yeah.
Because sometimes families can push your mental health backwards.
(32:38):
So when you are trying to get on top of your mental health, you're trying to put steps
into place and take precautions so that you can push and strive to a greater general mental
health.
You got to cut whatever you need to out of it.
Absolutely.
Yep.
That includes family.
That extends to friends, family, friends, all that sort of thing.
(33:01):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got to do what's right for you.
It doesn't matter how long your friendship's been going on.
Like I had a guy that I was like fucking ride or die with for shit.
Like, I want to say like eight years.
We did a lot of shit with each other.
(33:23):
Had each other's...
Fuck off.
Just hand stuff or?
Shut up.
Shut up.
We had each other's backs through like a lot.
And yeah, it got to the point where I was like, this guy's no fucking good for me.
And then, yeah, we had an argument and cut him out.
(33:46):
And it's like, yeah, there goes like eight years of like brotherhood, essentially.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, if people are no good, people are no good.
Nah, that's exactly right.
Yeah.
That's probably the best thing to take away from all this crap that we've discussed.
(34:09):
To be honest.
I feel like we fucking...
I feel like this is a shit episode.
I just feel like we haven't fucking done anything.
No.
We have.
It just, I don't know.
It's just one of those...
I don't know.
We made it crazy because we didn't want to do it.
We just like brushed over it because we're not interested in this at all.
(34:31):
It's not that we're not interested.
It's just like I said before, we can't get super into it like we normally do.
Like normally we make everything relatable as shit and then it's like we make it fun,
we make it interesting, but this is like one of those topics that like...
I've been thinking about it all week.
Like I haven't forgotten about it like I normally fucking do.
(34:53):
No, I didn't forget about this one either.
Yeah.
I'm like, what the fuck am I going to say?
What am I talking about?
How are we going to tie families into mental health?
Yeah.
Having a good family around you is great to support you and then having a shit family
around you can really fuck you up in the long run.
(35:14):
It's like, cool, let's turn that into a fucking 60 minute episode.
Like how?
And I can't tell personal stories because I don't want to fucking burn bridges and start
arguments.
I think we've done a rough.
Yeah, I think we've covered like the important things.
(35:35):
Yeah.
I believe it was enjoyable.
Oh well, let's have a quick break and then talk about some music and then yeah, we're
back in a moment.
The Pain in Our Head podcast is proudly sponsored by Music Magic Co and Brisbane rock band,
The Flying Circus.
Visit the links in the podcast description for more information.
(35:55):
Back to the show.
Welcome back to this week's episode of the Pain in Our Head podcast.
Talked about family and mental health.
Been great.
I'm going to go ahead and play it on.
I might find it.
Yeah, that's that's that's that's.
(36:15):
How do you give thumbs up?
And that's just what it does.
It's just, it's like what?
I'm just going to turn your hand.
Both of them do it like.
Yeah, right.
I'm not saying people like double joints with like fingers and stuff and like, you know,
oh, oh, whoa, that's that's.
That's far.
(36:36):
Yeah, they like they both do it too.
No, I got I saw it.
I saw it the first time.
I'm good.
I believe you.
That was I was not expecting that.
That's that was my elbows like hyperextend to.
Yeah, right.
I don't have any double jointed fingers, bones, elbows, knees, anything like that.
(36:59):
No.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah, just a generic, boring short person.
Certainly does.
I was going to say something.
I'm completely weirded out and grossed out by your thumbs now.
Yeah, thumbs up.
(37:21):
Nice.
Music.
What's tickling your pickle?
I know it's tickling your pickle.
You don't know what I'm going to talk about.
I've got no idea what you're going to talk about.
That's fucking right.
I just don't know what's been tickling your pickle.
(37:44):
My hand.
Browning.
The browning.
(38:11):
I had a very good Saturday afternoon and night.
And one of the friends.
Yeah, I did.
Hmm.
That's good.
That's good.
Yeah.
Next one of us.
And who's fucking sucks.
It's like I got voice messages from a very intoxicated Caleb again, confessing that
(38:35):
he loved me and he was very drunk.
I don't know about that.
You want me to bring it up?
No, it's good.
I'll go back to the messages up.
I'll go back and listen later.
I love you man.
You're so gay when you get drunk.
I love you man.
(38:59):
I couldn't walk straight.
I bet you could.
It sounded like you couldn't talk.
Oh yeah, but anyway.
I could hear it.
I could hear you, I'm like, you're gonna vomit tonight.
Yep.
Let's leave it at that.
He was drunk.
He was white girl wasted.
I was white girl wasted.
(39:20):
Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been white girl wasted.
Anyway.
I don't feel like it was that long ago to be honest, but anyway.
The browning.
It's a super fucking heavy band.
Hmm.
My mate sent me this like AI generated video and they'd put this song over it.
And I was just like.
(39:41):
It's video shit.
It was just like a reality sent me.
It was meant to like trip me out.
And the song though, that was playing over it.
I was like, what the fuck is this?
Like I need, I need this song.
This is really good.
And so I like did a bit of a fucking dig around and found it.
And it was sold drift by the Browning off of their upcoming album Omni.
(40:08):
And it's heavy as shit.
It's super fucking heavy, but they also have like electronic, like.
Trippy kind of music sections and shit.
It's like weird.
It's like a really weird blend.
But I enjoyed the absolute fuck out of it.
(40:30):
And yeah, I listened to that.
But then I also just smashed the absolute shit out of true power by I prevail and have been for like two weeks now since I saw them live.
I was just, yeah, like I didn't want to talk about them because I'm pretty sure I spoke about them last week.
And you meant to add like body bag.
But now I just want that whole fucking album on the playlist.
(40:53):
The whole thing.
Every song is great.
I didn't see that coming.
Would you be listening to Caleb?
Second Caesar.
I haven't been listening to much music.
No, no, no, nothing new, nothing exciting.
(41:15):
No, no.
But I was going to talk about, I don't know, you may have seen it.
There's some chick on Instagram, I assume TikTok as well.
I can't remember the name.
Does these music covers of different, lots of different songs.
(41:37):
But she does them on children's musical instruments.
I've been to some of that the other day.
Fucking excellent, like just really, really well done.
And just, yeah, thoroughly impressed at how well she plays these little instruments.
(42:04):
Like I'm talking a three string electric guitar that's like 40 centimeters, 50 centimeters.
They're all like kids instruments.
Like the little xylophone, the little bloody piano thing that makes like a really honky
tonk kind of sound.
And then throws it and does her own, I guess, remixed words or vocals.
(42:28):
Reimagined.
Reimagined is probably the best word for it.
Yeah.
It's great.
And it's all about being a mom, being a parent.
So yeah, thoroughly enjoy them.
I think they're really funny, really intelligent.
And I just enjoy watching them.
So that's my music thing.
You know what happens in two days?
On the 11th of October.
(42:50):
11th of October.
You don't know?
No, it's on the 11th of October.
Is that Friday?
I'll let you know in the morning.
On the Friday.
Isn't there an album coming out?
Mm-hmm.
You've told me.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
I can't remember.
(43:11):
Is that already?
Is that coming out already?
Mm-hmm.
Really?
In two days?
11th of October.
I don't think I've listened to the new single.
Didn't you say another single had dropped?
A third single?
I think, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
All right.
Cool.
Well, that's something to look forward to.
Yeah.
All right.
Mm.
That's my music.
(43:32):
I'm enjoying the music in a new game that I've been playing.
You don't like the game, so we'll skim over that.
You can't like anything.
You don't like anything.
Music?
What fucking music in it?
Oh, wait.
There was that bard.
You wouldn't fucking know.
You've played two hours.
There was that bard.
She was pretty cool.
(43:53):
The bard.
What?
You bitch.
You beat to one area.
Like, yeah.
Like, what music?
I can play the game and find out.
I don't want to.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
You're old and boring.
Throne and Liberty I've been playing and enjoying the music in that.
(44:16):
It's really well composed.
There's a lot of really nice composed music in it.
Really nice.
I'm enjoying playing it and listening to some of the compositions that are sitting behind
it.
And what else has got good music in it?
PUBG.
Fucking World of Warcraft.
Yeah.
Yep.
Those are fucking good.
(44:37):
Yep.
World of Warcraft has really good music.
Yeah.
Yeah, good music.
It's a lot of good music in games.
Hmm.
Trying to think of my favorite.
Can't think of it off the top of my head, but.
What's your favorite score?
Told you this.
(44:58):
A Dark Knight.
Always will be.
Yep.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Incredible score.
Incredible.
It is though.
Like, fight me about it because prove me wrong.
You can shove that fucking bent thumb right up where the sun don't shine.
(45:21):
Star Wars and Lord of the Rings is shit all over the Dark Knight, but whatever.
Not Star Wars, but Lord of the Rings comes in at a very close second.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're like, they're so different.
(45:42):
They're so different.
Star Wars was the first to do it, right?
It was the first to do it.
They were the first to like, incorporate, they do it well.
First to do it really well.
And then they did different like compositions for, I guess, feelings and different characters
(46:06):
and different settings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they did it really, really well.
Yeah.
So yeah.
They go down as the OG because it was just done so well.
But the Dark Knight took that idea and did it 10 times better.
(46:27):
Yeah.
Really good.
Anyway, I'm not going to go into it.
I already did.
I wrote a 3000 word essay at uni about it and got a fucking 98% on it.
So.
We're going to D-minus.
That's it.
That's all my interesting stuff.
Yeah.
Playing the new game.
Hmm.
(46:50):
Don't know.
Listen to the offspring on Friday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Continue to listen to I Prevail.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Better start listening to some Coldplay.
I'm seeing them in November down in Melbourne.
Yeah.
Hmm.
(47:11):
Not a huge fan.
I was of that earlier stuff.
Like I love I can't even think of the kind of think of the album now.
But you know, there's I like the old tracks like Clocks and Yellow and In My Place.
They've had a few along the way that I have minded either.
The Milo Ex Lotto album.
(47:32):
Oh, loved that album.
That's fantastic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
That's what you should have listened to on Saturday.
That would have taken you somewhere.
It's a really good, really good album.
I am.
I vividly remember playing.
(47:53):
This is this is Gringe.
I don't listen to anymore because it brings up this memory of playing.
You remember Hammer Hotel?
Someone was called.
I think it was.
You play that game.
Yep.
Some reason I have vivid memories about that game and listening to that that album.
Hmm.
It's like.
Is that like your song that you've got like cringy memories to?
(48:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like if I listen to that album, I'm like, oh, like I was young and dumb and that's great album.
Really cool.
I've got one song that I have like a really cringy memory to.
It was like this song that came out when I was in primary school and it was like, where's Johnny?
(48:38):
You know, you know that song like I don't think I know that song.
It was like I don't even know how it got onto like commercial radio.
It was like dance as fuck.
Yeah.
Right.
I like to listen to it.
I was obsessed with it.
Hmm.
And then one of the other kids that I was like hanging out with, he became obsessed with it.
(49:01):
I remember like pulling up to like hop out and go to school.
It was like, you know, like your fireman's like poles on the playgrounds.
It was like spinning around on top of one of those.
They're like, where's Johnny?
It was like screaming at me as I walked into school and I just cringed as fuck.
Stop listening to it.
Yeah.
That was it.
(49:22):
Hmm.
I feel cringe thinking about it.
I can still picture it.
I still picture it.
Wee.
I can't take it.
Nice one.
Spit on your pole.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I can do that next week when we talk about.
(49:43):
Hey.
One month.
Until.
Until.
Exactly one month.
Well, well, yeah, kind of.
What do you mean?
You're arriving on the ninth.
No, the eighth.
(50:05):
Where is it?
The ninth.
Is that the north?
Are you sure?
Did I book it for the north?
Oh, I'm glad you're with it because I forgot.
And also, I don't know what's that weekend, but yes, it is a month.
Hmm.
Oh, yes.
Because it's a Saturday now, not the Friday.
That's right.
I changed.
I changed it.
I had Friday in my head.
Hmm.
Hmm.
(50:26):
Yes, it'll be the ninth.
Ninth.
Oh, there you go.
One month.
Don't question me, bitch.
Hmm.
Someone's excited.
Yeah, I am.
I fucking am excited.
That's good.
I'm glad.
What are we talking about next week?
Everyone needs to leave a comment too and figure out what I'm going to put on the name card
(50:50):
when I pick him up from the airport.
Like, he's online nickname is Bomber and I can't walk into an airport with a big card
that says Bomber.
That's not going to add well for me.
I'm getting scripted.
You can.
It's just.
Like, yeah.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I already get fucking randomly selected for bomb screening whenever I go into a fucking
(51:15):
airport now.
I'm not even joking.
As soon as I got my face tattoo, the next time I went to an airport, it was like, have you
been selected for bomb screening?
I'm like, yeah, okay.
Sick.
I crack the shits because I always get, like, asked to get scanned with the metal detector
thing.
I don't think I've ever not been scanned.
At the football.
(51:36):
Every time.
And they only have like, not everyone goes through it.
Like they'll pull someone aside.
This is like every time I walk into a stadium, they're like, yep, come to the side.
I'm like, why do I look like someone's carrying a knife or something?
I don't know.
I am, but don't pull me aside.
Profiling me.
Yeah, fuck.
(51:57):
Well done.
You're right.
But fuck you for doing it.
I always, I always get pulled aside on that shit.
Like every time I go through a scanner, it's like, okay, pull aside, fucking sweep you,
check all your shit.
And it's like, cool.
You've been selected for bomb screening now.
And I'm like, why?
(52:19):
Look at him, he's got a beard and a face tattoo.
He's fucking, he's got a bomb.
Yeah.
They're like, no, I am the fucking bomb bitch.
Tell them that next time.
No.
No.
Like I'm all full fucking around to find it out.
(52:40):
Then you're going to get a couple of fingers up the yellow.
Maybe I shouldn't.
It's been a while.
Get them to fish around there for a little bit, see what they can find.
Maybe it's a little bit deeper.
Put another one in.
To the left.
That took a fucking tangent, didn't it?
(53:03):
It certainly did.
All right.
Next week, we don't know what we're talking about.
So it's going to be a surprise.
Yeah.
Look out for that.
Sucks to suck.
It's okay to not be okay.
It's not weak to speak.
Bye.
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