May 18, 2020 • 10 mins
Come on a journey with Partyologist and event planner Emma De Jong as she starts to plan her own wedding. In this episode you will meet Emma and how she is going with her wedding planning.We start to discuss her wedding journey and everything that is involved.
Listen to how someone who helps plan weddings and events for a living decides on her own wedding suppliers and her mindset around her wedding.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Marcus (00:00):
Hi guys, welcome to the Partyology Experience podcast.
My name's Marcus.
I'm the owner of feel-goodevents and I'm here today with
Emma the general manager of feelgood events.
Emma's silly enough to begetting married in about eight,
nine months time, I think 10months time.
Not that she's counting and wethought it would be a great idea
to talk about Emmas planningprocess and everything that
(00:22):
she's going to go through inplanning for her wedding and the
good and bad points.
We will look at the highs andthe lows of all her planning and
everything, that anxiety thatcomes around and planning a
wedding.
Emma does planning weddings andevents for our living, but it's
different when you're doing itfrom start to finish for
yourself.
So we thought it'd be a greatexperience for her to talk about
(00:43):
what she's learned, what sheknows based on her own
experience.
And hopefully you get some tipsand ideas on what to do and what
not to do.
So, welcome Emma.
Thank you for joining me on thepodcast today.
So first of all, we have to askyou why you're getting married.
I mean, why would you want to dothat?
All the experience, the pain,the anxiety.
Why would you want to do that.
Emma (01:02):
Oh, no, no.
I've been with my partner for along time and I think, you know,
it's something we've alwayswanted to do.
We've always wanted to sort offollow the path of, you know,
buying our first home, thengetting married and having
children.
So it's just the way that wedecided we wanted to do things.
So my partner is Ben, I call himBJ.
most people will know him as BJ.
He has just finished six yearsin the Australian army and now i
(01:27):
s currently working full timerenovating our home, we're very
crazy i n the fact that we areplanning a wedding as well as
renovating our home and working.
So it's pretty busy for us atthe moment.
Marcus (01:38):
So you must be absolutely crazy to, you know,
to do a renovation together andthen, spend all this money on a
wedding and a renovation all atthe same time.
You must be one, you must becashed up and two you must
really love each other to putyourselves through this torture.
It'll be a good test to see ifyou're going to make it to the
wedding.
Emma (01:56):
It's been a definitely a test for our relationship.
We've been through a lot ofthings now, in our long
relationship, but this is awhole another ball game.
It's, you know, making decisionson tiles and where rooms are
gonna be and we have differentsort of thoughts on what we want
to do.
So yeah, it's definitely hard.
We're definitely not loaded, Ican tell you that, but we've
worked it out so that we couldget married and renovate the
same sort of time.
So renovations clearly happenedby the end of this year and then
(02:19):
we'll get married next year.
So it's all happening.
How long have you been engagedfor?
So we've been engaged for a yearand a half.
I had to think about it cause Iactually had forgotten how long
it had been.
It's gone so quickly.
So you're a year and a half.
Marcus (02:30):
And how much planning have you done in that time?
Emma (02:32):
Not a huge amount to be honest.
Actually, I've only sort of juststarted in the last couple of
months.
I sort of thought I'll leave itup until about a year before and
then I'll start getting a bitmore serious.
Probably in the last two, threeweeks I've started really
getting my head around it.
Yeah, it's, it's just trying toget what I wanted to do and work
out and I sorta saw it probablyshould get my head into gear and
(02:54):
start organizing it.
Marcus (02:55):
So do you think because you work in events and you do
this all the time, you're a bitmore relaxed about it and you
know that timeframe's a lotbetter and, you know potentially
who you could use for supplies.
Do you think you've sort ofgiven it a bit more time because
of that reason or you've justbeen busy and haven't been able
to fit it in?
Emma (03:12):
No, it's not that.
I think because I feel a bitmore confident in the choices I
make because I already know thesuppliers.
I know what their work is like.
I trust them a hundred percent,and I feel like I don't need to
do too much more research.
I think being in the fieldalready, you kind of understand
how long the lead times are.
I think some people thinkthey're a lot longer than they
(03:32):
need to be,there is lots ofsuppliers out there.
But yeah, it's, it's of coursewe weddings it's if you want a
particular date you really doneed to lock the people you want
it on for that date, that'sprobably the hardest thing.
It's definitely hasnt beenstressful for me at this stage
,so yeah, it's not been too bad.
Marcus (03:49):
And so have you been looking forward to the planning
of doing your own wedding orlike is this something you've
been, you know, for years, Ican't wait to plan my wedding
because you do it for so manyother people or are you sort of
just another wedding?
Emma (04:00):
I haven't, I'm not one of those girls that was like
growing up at 10 or 12 andgoing, Oh, I just want to get
married.
This is what I'm going to do formy wedding.
I've never been sort of likethat.
I guess I was sort of more sortof focusing on trying to find
someone to marry first thatactually planned the wedding.
It's probably been the last sortof couple of years.
I think I sort of waited becausewe've actually been together for
13 years this year, so it's beena long time in the waiting to
(04:23):
get married.
So I didn't want to get tooexcited and plan it before we
even got engaged.
So I think, you know, one stepat a time.
Yeah.
So do you know what sort ofwedding you want?
We're both pretty relaxed,individuals, we're pretty low
key.
We just loved to spend time withtheir family and friends.
We don't like to be like overlyformal.
So it was never going to be aformal affair for us at all.
(04:44):
It was always going to be reallychilled.
And it's funny because somepeople I think thought we were
going to do this huge, massivewedding and I was going to be
out of control.
It's just not us.
Like I don't like being centerof attention.
That is the worst thing for me.
Like even walking down the allgives me anxiety.
Like I just, I even think aboutit.
I don't do this as a job, butI'm always behind the closed
doors.
I'm never in front of it.
So it gives me, that's my onlystress for this is to do with
(05:06):
walking down the aisle.
Well, depending on how therenovations go, you could be go
down the aisle in a coffinbecause your partner may of
killed you by then,Who knows?
So you won't have to worry.
No, I don't have to worry atall.
But yes it is.
That's the only thing that Ifind, yeah, a bit stressful
about, but we're going to bepretty lucky with this.
Marcus (05:20):
I think that's pretty common, isn't it?
Like so many.
I mean, you know, doing eventsand parties for so many years,
I've spoken to so many bridesand their stress about being the
center of attention and there'slots of people like that and you
know, just because of gettingmarried, there's going to be
that element of being center ofattention.
But you can, there's ways aroundthat so you don't have to be in
front of everyone all the time.
Emma (05:41):
We've done that.
Yeah.
And I think most of the day weprobably won't be the center of
attention.
It will just be for that splitsecond of getting married and
that half an hour of theceremony.
And then after that it will justbe about spending time with our
family and friends and having agood time.
That's really the main goal.
Yeah, for sure.
Marcus (05:55):
Okay.
So, and how many people have yougot in your bridal party?
Emma (05:58):
so we've got three, actually, we've got three each.
So I've actually got two littlecousins, a different Sydney and
they're too old to be flowergirls and they're too old, sorry
too young to be bridesmaids.
So we've decided to call themini bridesmaids, which they'll
absolutely love, actuallyhaven't asked them yet.
So I need to do that soon.
so there'll be my three mainbridesmaids and then the two
(06:22):
mini bridesmaids and then thethree groomsmen.
So was that, was that a harddecision to choose those people
or easy choice?
It was hard for me.
I'm actually have a very biggroup of girlfriends from high
school.
There's 10 of us in the groupand I've also got other friends
like friendship groups as well,So it was a bit hard.
Like I have three girlfriendsthat I've been best friends
(06:44):
forever and they're the onesthat I've loved forever and, you
know, I get along with them themost and that sort of thing.
And it was quite easy to pickthose three,but you do feel bad
not picking everyone.
Because of course you always dohave more that you like while
you could have four or five andyou're like, once you get to
four or five its like, then wecould have 10 and then it is
expensive to, you know, have topay for all those things as
well.
(07:05):
I don't want to have a hugecrazy bridal party either.
It was just sort of our threefavorites and lets sort of
called a day.
It's true though, like youalways do.
It is what it is and it is ahard situation.
But I think the people thathaven't been chosen understand,
and it is what it i s.
Another way around t hat is youcan some of those other people
that you maybe w ere on the cuspof should or shouldnt I maybe
(07:28):
you can get them involved insomething else at your wedding
you're wanting t o makes themfeel special.
Some people, you know, they'renot first, they're just happy to
be there, but of course, youknow, they might be happy to do
it or do something else that'simportant and makes a
contribution.
And we probably will do thatwith some of my other family and
that sort of thing and gettingpeople involved that we love.
(07:48):
Both of us have really goodfriendships and family members.
So yeah, we'll, we'll find spotswhere we can definitely have
people involved as well, butjust not sure on what they are
at the moment.
We haven't really worked thatout.
So I guess thinking about youroverall wedding, you know,
you're in the early stages now.
You've obviously, you've beenthinking about it, I'm sure for
a little bit of time.
What would you say are the threemost or couple of the most
(08:10):
important things that you reallywant to happen at your wedding?
Well, three things that standout to you that you go I
definitely got to have that or Idefinitely want to do that.
I want fun to be a really bigone.
I find that there's nothingworse than going to a wedding
and you do get a bit bored.
I want fun in the fact that Iwant people dancing a nd I want
to have some sort ofentertainment.
(08:31):
T he things that keep peopleentertained during the night.
Were having a cocktail s tylestyle wedding, So it's not a sit
down like it's a formal settingwhere you know what's happening.
I want to fill some of thosespots with things that are g
onna make fun, but saying fun.
I also want it to be quiterelaxed and I don't want a
nything to be too formal assuch.
So we w ouldn't be doinganything crazy in regards to
formalities.
(08:51):
Yeah they're probably the twomain things.
The third one is I do wantthings to look nice.
I think every bride wants thingsto look nice.
Yeah.
I noticed that with so manyInstagram posts that people post
and accounts and stuff likethat, it is all about what it
looks like, but I also do reallywant it to function properly
too.
That is one of the main sort ofhighlights for me.
Yeah, we will be focusing onthat alot.
(09:12):
I think coming from events, it'ssort of, I already know that
already.
So I sort of, it's easier for meto sort of work out how on a
work around that.
So yeah.
And so, you know, if you were tointerview some of your guests in
a year, five years, somethinglike that, how would you like
them to describe your wedding?
Looking back at it, how wouldyou like to describe your
wedding?
Looking back at it.
And that's a hard question to behonest.
(09:33):
Okay.
I want people to say it wasreally fun.
I want people to say it wasreally us.
I don't want people to go thereand go, it wasn't really like
them to do this.
It was a bit out of the ordinaryfor them to do that.
I really want people to gothere.
Oh, this was so Emma and BJ likeit's so, it was so nice.
Everyone had a great time andthat is the main thing for me.
So when all your friends to comefrom the nudist club, theyll go,
(09:55):
that was Emma and BJ.
Okay, well that's good,Sobasically with these podcast
this is the initial get to knowus, and get to know Emma and
where she is in her planning.
So this is just a general infoon when she is getting married,
(10:16):
all that sort of stuff.
What we'll be doing over thecoming weeks and months is, I g
uess highlighting some of themore specifics, talking about
venues and things likeinvitations, flowers, decor and
entertainment and much more.
Lots to discuss to detail.
So yeah, stay tuned.
We'll be hopefully having apodcast at least once a week,
maybe more because there's somuch to talk about.
(10:39):
But thanks for tuning in todayand we hope to see you soon.
Thank you.
Hi guys, welcome to the Partyology Experience podcast.
My name's Marcus.
I'm the owner of feel-goodevents and I'm here today with
Emma the general manager of feelgood events.
Emma's silly enough to begetting married in about eight,
nine months time, I think 10months time.
Not that she's counting and wethought it would be a great idea
to talk about Emmas planningprocess and everything that
(00:22):
she's going to go through inplanning for her wedding and the
good and bad points.
We will look at the highs andthe lows of all her planning and
everything, that anxiety thatcomes around and planning a
wedding.
Emma does planning weddings andevents for our living, but it's
different when you're doing itfrom start to finish for
yourself.
So we thought it'd be a greatexperience for her to talk about
(00:43):
what she's learned, what sheknows based on her own
experience.
And hopefully you get some tipsand ideas on what to do and what
not to do.
So, welcome Emma.
Thank you for joining me on thepodcast today.
So first of all, we have to askyou why you're getting married.
I mean, why would you want to dothat?
All the experience, the pain,the anxiety.
Why would you want to do that.
Emma (01:02):
Oh, no, no.
I've been with my partner for along time and I think, you know,
it's something we've alwayswanted to do.
We've always wanted to sort offollow the path of, you know,
buying our first home, thengetting married and having
children.
So it's just the way that wedecided we wanted to do things.
So my partner is Ben, I call himBJ.
most people will know him as BJ.
He has just finished six yearsin the Australian army and now i
(01:27):
s currently working full timerenovating our home, we're very
crazy i n the fact that we areplanning a wedding as well as
renovating our home and working.
So it's pretty busy for us atthe moment.
Marcus (01:38):
So you must be absolutely crazy to, you know,
to do a renovation together andthen, spend all this money on a
wedding and a renovation all atthe same time.
You must be one, you must becashed up and two you must
really love each other to putyourselves through this torture.
It'll be a good test to see ifyou're going to make it to the
wedding.
Emma (01:56):
It's been a definitely a test for our relationship.
We've been through a lot ofthings now, in our long
relationship, but this is awhole another ball game.
It's, you know, making decisionson tiles and where rooms are
gonna be and we have differentsort of thoughts on what we want
to do.
So yeah, it's definitely hard.
We're definitely not loaded, Ican tell you that, but we've
worked it out so that we couldget married and renovate the
same sort of time.
So renovations clearly happenedby the end of this year and then
(02:19):
we'll get married next year.
So it's all happening.
How long have you been engagedfor?
So we've been engaged for a yearand a half.
I had to think about it cause Iactually had forgotten how long
it had been.
It's gone so quickly.
So you're a year and a half.
Marcus (02:30):
And how much planning have you done in that time?
Emma (02:32):
Not a huge amount to be honest.
Actually, I've only sort of juststarted in the last couple of
months.
I sort of thought I'll leave itup until about a year before and
then I'll start getting a bitmore serious.
Probably in the last two, threeweeks I've started really
getting my head around it.
Yeah, it's, it's just trying toget what I wanted to do and work
out and I sorta saw it probablyshould get my head into gear and
(02:54):
start organizing it.
Marcus (02:55):
So do you think because you work in events and you do
this all the time, you're a bitmore relaxed about it and you
know that timeframe's a lotbetter and, you know potentially
who you could use for supplies.
Do you think you've sort ofgiven it a bit more time because
of that reason or you've justbeen busy and haven't been able
to fit it in?
Emma (03:12):
No, it's not that.
I think because I feel a bitmore confident in the choices I
make because I already know thesuppliers.
I know what their work is like.
I trust them a hundred percent,and I feel like I don't need to
do too much more research.
I think being in the fieldalready, you kind of understand
how long the lead times are.
I think some people thinkthey're a lot longer than they
(03:32):
need to be,there is lots ofsuppliers out there.
But yeah, it's, it's of coursewe weddings it's if you want a
particular date you really doneed to lock the people you want
it on for that date, that'sprobably the hardest thing.
It's definitely hasnt beenstressful for me at this stage
,so yeah, it's not been too bad.
Marcus (03:49):
And so have you been looking forward to the planning
of doing your own wedding orlike is this something you've
been, you know, for years, Ican't wait to plan my wedding
because you do it for so manyother people or are you sort of
just another wedding?
Emma (04:00):
I haven't, I'm not one of those girls that was like
growing up at 10 or 12 andgoing, Oh, I just want to get
married.
This is what I'm going to do formy wedding.
I've never been sort of likethat.
I guess I was sort of more sortof focusing on trying to find
someone to marry first thatactually planned the wedding.
It's probably been the last sortof couple of years.
I think I sort of waited becausewe've actually been together for
13 years this year, so it's beena long time in the waiting to
(04:23):
get married.
So I didn't want to get tooexcited and plan it before we
even got engaged.
So I think, you know, one stepat a time.
Yeah.
So do you know what sort ofwedding you want?
We're both pretty relaxed,individuals, we're pretty low
key.
We just loved to spend time withtheir family and friends.
We don't like to be like overlyformal.
So it was never going to be aformal affair for us at all.
(04:44):
It was always going to be reallychilled.
And it's funny because somepeople I think thought we were
going to do this huge, massivewedding and I was going to be
out of control.
It's just not us.
Like I don't like being centerof attention.
That is the worst thing for me.
Like even walking down the allgives me anxiety.
Like I just, I even think aboutit.
I don't do this as a job, butI'm always behind the closed
doors.
I'm never in front of it.
So it gives me, that's my onlystress for this is to do with
(05:06):
walking down the aisle.
Well, depending on how therenovations go, you could be go
down the aisle in a coffinbecause your partner may of
killed you by then,Who knows?
So you won't have to worry.
No, I don't have to worry atall.
But yes it is.
That's the only thing that Ifind, yeah, a bit stressful
about, but we're going to bepretty lucky with this.
Marcus (05:20):
I think that's pretty common, isn't it?
Like so many.
I mean, you know, doing eventsand parties for so many years,
I've spoken to so many bridesand their stress about being the
center of attention and there'slots of people like that and you
know, just because of gettingmarried, there's going to be
that element of being center ofattention.
But you can, there's ways aroundthat so you don't have to be in
front of everyone all the time.
Emma (05:41):
We've done that.
Yeah.
And I think most of the day weprobably won't be the center of
attention.
It will just be for that splitsecond of getting married and
that half an hour of theceremony.
And then after that it will justbe about spending time with our
family and friends and having agood time.
That's really the main goal.
Yeah, for sure.
Marcus (05:55):
Okay.
So, and how many people have yougot in your bridal party?
Emma (05:58):
so we've got three, actually, we've got three each.
So I've actually got two littlecousins, a different Sydney and
they're too old to be flowergirls and they're too old, sorry
too young to be bridesmaids.
So we've decided to call themini bridesmaids, which they'll
absolutely love, actuallyhaven't asked them yet.
So I need to do that soon.
so there'll be my three mainbridesmaids and then the two
(06:22):
mini bridesmaids and then thethree groomsmen.
So was that, was that a harddecision to choose those people
or easy choice?
It was hard for me.
I'm actually have a very biggroup of girlfriends from high
school.
There's 10 of us in the groupand I've also got other friends
like friendship groups as well,So it was a bit hard.
Like I have three girlfriendsthat I've been best friends
(06:44):
forever and they're the onesthat I've loved forever and, you
know, I get along with them themost and that sort of thing.
And it was quite easy to pickthose three,but you do feel bad
not picking everyone.
Because of course you always dohave more that you like while
you could have four or five andyou're like, once you get to
four or five its like, then wecould have 10 and then it is
expensive to, you know, have topay for all those things as
well.
(07:05):
I don't want to have a hugecrazy bridal party either.
It was just sort of our threefavorites and lets sort of
called a day.
It's true though, like youalways do.
It is what it is and it is ahard situation.
But I think the people thathaven't been chosen understand,
and it is what it i s.
Another way around t hat is youcan some of those other people
that you maybe w ere on the cuspof should or shouldnt I maybe
(07:28):
you can get them involved insomething else at your wedding
you're wanting t o makes themfeel special.
Some people, you know, they'renot first, they're just happy to
be there, but of course, youknow, they might be happy to do
it or do something else that'simportant and makes a
contribution.
And we probably will do thatwith some of my other family and
that sort of thing and gettingpeople involved that we love.
(07:48):
Both of us have really goodfriendships and family members.
So yeah, we'll, we'll find spotswhere we can definitely have
people involved as well, butjust not sure on what they are
at the moment.
We haven't really worked thatout.
So I guess thinking about youroverall wedding, you know,
you're in the early stages now.
You've obviously, you've beenthinking about it, I'm sure for
a little bit of time.
What would you say are the threemost or couple of the most
(08:10):
important things that you reallywant to happen at your wedding?
Well, three things that standout to you that you go I
definitely got to have that or Idefinitely want to do that.
I want fun to be a really bigone.
I find that there's nothingworse than going to a wedding
and you do get a bit bored.
I want fun in the fact that Iwant people dancing a nd I want
to have some sort ofentertainment.
(08:31):
T he things that keep peopleentertained during the night.
Were having a cocktail s tylestyle wedding, So it's not a sit
down like it's a formal settingwhere you know what's happening.
I want to fill some of thosespots with things that are g
onna make fun, but saying fun.
I also want it to be quiterelaxed and I don't want a
nything to be too formal assuch.
So we w ouldn't be doinganything crazy in regards to
formalities.
(08:51):
Yeah they're probably the twomain things.
The third one is I do wantthings to look nice.
I think every bride wants thingsto look nice.
Yeah.
I noticed that with so manyInstagram posts that people post
and accounts and stuff likethat, it is all about what it
looks like, but I also do reallywant it to function properly
too.
That is one of the main sort ofhighlights for me.
Yeah, we will be focusing onthat alot.
(09:12):
I think coming from events, it'ssort of, I already know that
already.
So I sort of, it's easier for meto sort of work out how on a
work around that.
So yeah.
And so, you know, if you were tointerview some of your guests in
a year, five years, somethinglike that, how would you like
them to describe your wedding?
Looking back at it, how wouldyou like to describe your
wedding?
Looking back at it.
And that's a hard question to behonest.
(09:33):
Okay.
I want people to say it wasreally fun.
I want people to say it wasreally us.
I don't want people to go thereand go, it wasn't really like
them to do this.
It was a bit out of the ordinaryfor them to do that.
I really want people to gothere.
Oh, this was so Emma and BJ likeit's so, it was so nice.
Everyone had a great time andthat is the main thing for me.
So when all your friends to comefrom the nudist club, theyll go,
(09:55):
that was Emma and BJ.
Okay, well that's good,Sobasically with these podcast
this is the initial get to knowus, and get to know Emma and
where she is in her planning.
So this is just a general infoon when she is getting married,
(10:16):
all that sort of stuff.
What we'll be doing over thecoming weeks and months is, I g
uess highlighting some of themore specifics, talking about
venues and things likeinvitations, flowers, decor and
entertainment and much more.
Lots to discuss to detail.
So yeah, stay tuned.
We'll be hopefully having apodcast at least once a week,
maybe more because there's somuch to talk about.
(10:39):
But thanks for tuning in todayand we hope to see you soon.
Thank you.
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