May 19, 2020 • 19 mins
In this episode we start to discuss Emma's wedding research and suppliers she is looking for.We also discuss budgets and how she is deciding how much to allocate for each service. We also cover guest lists and how many people she will be having at her wedding.
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Episode Transcript
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Marcus (00:00):
Hi and welcome to the Partyology experience.
I'm here today with Emma DeJongand we are talking about her
wedding and the planning of herwedding over the next few
months.
In today's podcast we're goingto talk about budget,research
and g uest lists.
Now these topics we get askedabout all the time,what should
you do, and what order shouldyou do them in?
(00:21):
I think for these three things,I've put them all together
because you s ort o f need to dothem all at the same time.
So the first thing you need towork out really is a guest list
because once you've got your guest l ist, you'll know what
size venue to look for and youknow how many people you're
(00:42):
catering for.
So once you've done your guestlist then it'll give you a good
idea what sort of budget you'rego ing t o n eed for your
reception and for all the otherthings.
So Emma in your research so faror doing your gu est l ist how
many hav e yo u got coming toyour wedding
Emma (00:58):
So around one hundred.
It's sitting at around 112 atthe moment, which I think it
probably will stay closer tothat amount rather than a
hundred, but we've just told thevenue a hundred for now until we
work out who's coming and who'snot coming.
The best way that we kind ofwork this out is we actually did
have an engagement party, so wewould just use the same list as
a guide and took some people offthat we thought weren't going to
be invited to the wedding.
(01:19):
But that's probably the best waywe did it.
So have you struggled then, Iguess to hone it back in,
because how many did you have inyour engagement party?
135.
You've basically lost say 20people.
Have you found it hard to sortof kull it down a bit?
Not too bad to be honest.
(01:40):
Some people I think knew they'lljust come to the engagement
party and we'rent going to beinvited to the wedding.
They were people that were likefriends of friends that we knew,
but we invited them to theengagement that are not coming
to the wedding.
So it wasn't too bad to behonest.
I think if I had to kull it downto a hundred it would be more of
an issue because I know it's 12people that would be very upset.
But at the moment, yeah, itsaround 112 which is not too bad.
Marcus (02:01):
One thing people say they struggle a lot with when it
comes to guest lists is how manyto invite and how to fit
everybody into some sort ofbudget.
I personally have been preachingfor years as an unwritten rule
and this sort of works but mightnot work for everyone, but to me
I think you should only reallyinvite people to your wedding
(02:22):
that you think you're going tobe friends with in five years.
Now that sort of makes it hardIf you're working with people
and you may have worked withthem for a couple of years and
you've created a greatrelationship and for whatever
reason you left that job youcould then ask yourself the
question, would I still befriends with this person after I
leave this job?
Or if they left would I continuebeing friends with them?
So if you don't think you'regoing to be friends with that
(02:44):
person in five years time andyou follow that rule then you
probably will find it easier tocut back on your guest list.
Emma (02:52):
Yes it's a really good tool to use I think because work
is a hard one.I think you workwith these people all the time,
so you have to face the music doyou or don't you invite them if
you are going keep workingthere.
But if you don't see yourselfbeing friends with them outside
of work really like long term,then I don't think that it's
something you should be lookinginto.
I think you should just notinvite them and it is hard, but
(03:13):
it is what it is.
I find sometimes with guestlists, it's hard when you've got
parents that say but I want tohave my friends there as well
and well we'll pay for ourfriends.
So it can get into of thosesorts of things as well,
especially if your parents aresort of paying for some of the
wedding as well.
You do get in that sort ofsticky situation but I think if
you and your partner really talkabout it and what you want you
kind of work it out.
(03:34):
Even speaking to my parents acouple of days ago they said
they could of kulled l ike 40%off their guest list for their
wedding they said it wasridiculous.
I don't want to look back andgo, I could have invited say 60
people instead.We literally havea hundred people or 112 t hat a
re like our closest dearestfamily and friends.
So its really quality overquantity then.
A hundred percent, I don't wantto have 200 people to get
married in front of 100 isdaunting enough.
Marcus (03:56):
Yes I agree.We had 140 at our wedding and a lot of
those we don't see anymore soyes I totally get that.
Y eah.
So let's talk the most importantthing, budget.
Budget's a big thing foreverybody.
Obviously budget determines whatyou're going to do,How are you
going to do it and all thosesorts of things.
So have you set a budget andhave you worked out how much
(04:17):
money to spend on each componentof your wedding?
Emma (04:19):
This was a hard one for us I think because we're both on
sort of different terms.
I think I have more realisticideas of how much things cost
and BJ has no idea.
I think when I told him some ofthe costs of what it was going
to be on the day, I think henearly had a heart attack and
fell on the floor.
So I've actually decided not totalk to him too much about
budgeting.
I'll just go along with theplanning and let him know at the
end.We,didn't want to spendcrazy amounts of money.
(04:40):
We do want to spend more moneyon renovating our house as we
spoke about last time.
We have sort of a rough idea ofwhere we're both sort of happy
with budget.
I think I'll be happy to go overit by about 5,000, but that will
probably be pushing it with him.
Marcus (04:55):
So yes, as we say, budget is super hard and I guess
it really is hard to set abudget when you don't know costs
of anything if you are not inthe industry.You have no idea
how much it's going to cost youper head at a function center or
how much the photographer costsor the celebrant.
So really you can't set a properbudget until y ou, research.
Emma (05:15):
I think a little bit for me, because I kind of understood
how much things cost it wasn'tlike Oh wow, this is going to
cost me a fortune.
I think some brides go into thissaying I want this and that then
they realize that's its going tocost them$10,000 to have that
one particular thing.
I think that's when they startto get a bit upset or they turn
into a bridezilla because theywant what they want but they
don't have the money to affordit, I think what people need to
(05:38):
do more is research before theygo into these huge grand plans
and then let themselves down.
I think that's sort of the onething I find people really do
and it's, it's, it's hard tocome back from that when you are
t hat high.
Marcus (05:55):
You know, Instagram and Pinterest make it super hard
because you see all theseglamorous weddings and you don't
realize that particular setupwas a hundred thousand dollars
just in the decor alone.
Let a lone food drinks.
and everything else so that'swhere it does make it hard.
So I would say research,research, research will then
give you a better idea for yourbudget.
One resource we have if you arestruggling with what you should
spend your money on for yourwedding is we have on the feel
(06:17):
good events website, we've got ablog post on, you rough
percentages on what you shouldspend, spend your budget on.
That may give you some idea ofwhere you should allocate your
money.
Now obviously your weddingreception the venue is going to
probably take the most of yourbudget, but you know, at the end
(06:40):
of the day it will give you anidea on what you should spend
your money on.
I mean we've got a guide onroughly on what you should spend
your money on, but you've got tothink is the money you're
spending on your wedding goingto give you the result that you
want.
I think a lot of the time whenpeople are planning, they're not
necessarily doing that.
So they want party of the year,but they're spending their money
on really fancy cars that arecosting them$10,000 to hire
(07:02):
these fancy cars and you areonly in them for five minutes
and then you're in the receptionanyway.
Even flowers, and I meanobviously everybody has flowers
in some degree for their weddingbutt some people go over the top
but then they say they wanttheir wedding to be really fun
and more of a party.
In that case are those flowersreally adding to that fun party
or should they have spent thatbudget maybe on more
(07:23):
entertainment.
They then scrimp on theentertainment because they
they've spent all their money oneverything else.
The entertainment is what makesit maybe more fun.
So really what i am saying iswhat is going to be most
important to you, and what areyou going to get best value for
money?
Emma (07:39):
Yeah, I'm working a budget around that too.
I think a lot of couples shouldsit down and go, okay, these are
the most important points forus.
We're going to spend more moneyon those things because they're
important to us.
And then the things underneathit not so important.
Like they might find flowers,not so important for them, but
yeah, the duo and the DJ or theband is really important.
They spend more on them and Ithink that's the best way to do
it, to be honest, within reasonof course.
Marcus (08:01):
So in doing your research, what have you found to
be good and bad?
What's been your experience fromyour personal point of view?
Obviously you deal with venuesand all sorts of stuff all the
time, so you're dealing withthem on a different level, but
when it comes to your ownwedding and looking at say
venues and that sort of thingand just other suppliers, what,
what's been the good and badparts of that?
Emma (08:22):
It's been quite eye opening for me, to be honest.
I think because now I have toorganize it for myself and I'm
very particular and I thinkbecause I know so much about the
industry and the venues and sortof what I wanted, I had a very
sort of tight idea on how Iwanted it to go.
So for example, an issue that Ifind a lot is that the actual
access times to get into a venueon the day to do your
(08:43):
installation of your room isonly like two hours.
Now for me doing this as a job,I know things take a lot longer
than two hours.
So I wanted somewhere that wouldbe flexible with me and let me
have all day because I knew thatwas gonna be able to do as much
as I possibly could in that dayand make it look as how I wanted
it to.
I feel people also have thesegrand plans.
Yes, they cost a lot, but theyalso take a lot of time to
install as well.
(09:04):
So you might see that floralinstallation, it's$10,000, but
it takes six hours to install.
You don't have that time, sothen you have to pay more on top
of your venue costs just to getthe extra time, which I think
was getting lots of people.
And I have lots of bridescomplain about this all the
time.
I'm just saying that it's sortof misleading in the fact that
they pay,$20,000 for a venue,but then it's an extra$5,000 for
(09:24):
the extra time.
So for me, I was watching out onthat pretty quickly going, I
want a venue, thats going togive me access times.
And also of course thecollection as well.
Making sure that was areasonable amount of time, not
midnight that night and it hadto be out in a half an hour
,that's not really, realisticfor people.
Marcus (09:36):
So have you found suppliers are they getting back
to you on time?
Is there long wait times forquotes, all those sorts of
things?
Emma (09:48):
I think it's hard the moment we're actually halfway
through a pandemic, so it is ahard one to answer at the
moment.
I think it's slightly different.
I'm finding it quite frustratingin the fact that a lot of people
are taking a lot of time to getback to you and being in this
industry, I understand thatpeople are busy and for us at
feel good events it sometimes itcan take us two days to get back
to people and we of course trynot to do that.
I'm waiting two, three, four,five weeks for quotes and I
(10:13):
understand there is a pandemic,but you also feel like you want
to be wanted as a bride and thatmakes me not want to hire from
them.
I'm like, if this is the hardestprocess what's it going to be
like on the day for me, I don'twant that extra stress of having
to wait five weeks for you toreply.
So for me, I sort of just thinkI'm being lenient.
I'm giving them two or threeweeks and I think that's
perfectly fine but you know,four or five weeks it's starting
(10:35):
to get like Im really notimportant to you at all.
Marcus (10:38):
I think there's something in that that's a good
test if you're finding you'redealing with suppliers, whether
it be photographer, venue orwhatever it might be, and
they're taking weeks to get backto you from the beginning.
You're thinking what's it go ingt o b e like when we do sign up
or hand over some money?
You are asking yourself are theygoing to be painful to deal with
every time I have a quickquestion or something like that.
Organizing a wedding can bestressfull there's lot s in
(11:01):
volved in it.
So I think that's a sign that ifyou're finding that, a
particular supplier is taking awhile to get back to you, the n
ma y be th ey're not the rightchoice.
Emma (11:09):
I found a lot in the world of Instagram, especially my age,
everyone's looking for weddingsuppliers on Instagram and all
the photos look amazing.
But I found a lot of theseInstagram accounts, they don't
even have websites.
And for me it's sort of a bit ofan alarm bell and they're not
that far advanced in theindustry to have a website,do I
(11:33):
trust them or not?
and that sounds really horriblebut for me in the industry, I
think a website is something youjust have across the board if
you're in business.
So I did find it a bitdifficult.
It was really hard to get incontact with those people
because if they're not checkingtheir Instagram all the time,
okay.
It was difficult and if theydidn't get their email and I'm
trying to chase them all thetime.
So it was a bit hard.
Marcus (11:51):
So doing research that you have done are you now
finding it easier to set thebudget.
Emma (11:58):
It is, I think I, I'm a Pinterest lover.
I love Pinterest.
I have about 400 million boardsand everything, like, as Marcus
would know at Pinterest, everytheme, every single thing and I
think I really sickly know wheresome of these photos that I see
that I understand how much it'sgoing to cost.
The budget I think will beworkable.
Marcus (12:15):
How much has it blown out so far since you started
doing proper planning to whereyou are now.
Emma (12:20):
I don't know if it has blown out because I havent
worked it out.
The hard part is, I kinda, I'mdoing any in my head because I
kind of know sort of wherethings are sitting at the
moment.
I really do need to sit down andactually do the full budget but
I know sort of where I'msitting.
I think I was thinking about20,000 at the moment.
I haven't really done a littlenitty gritty things which I know
costs the most.
So that would be for the venue,and venue takes up a lot of that
(12:42):
and I know that of course I'mnot doing a big flash bang
wedding.
So some weddings start off at20, 30,000 just for the venue
,but I've also got, you know,photography and stuff like that
in there as well.
So, yeah, I found that the mostexpensive part at this stage is
venue, which I knew.
But photography and videographyhas really thrown me a little
bit.
I know marcus already knows thisbecause I've discussed it with
him, but I just really didn'tunderstand how much this costs.
(13:05):
We do it for work, but to do itfor yourself as well and work
out how much this costs.
It was sort of a bit dauntingfor me because I was like, wow,
I just realized that I thoughtI'd have, you know, four or
5,000 would be maximum me, butI'm looking from seven to eight
to nine and that's just a normalamount.
So that's where I think I'vegotten stuck as a bride going,
okay, what do I value?
Do I value my photos or do Ivalue the video more?
(13:27):
So that's sort of something I'mweighing up at the moment cost
wise.
Marcus (13:30):
And that's another key thing there too.
I know with our wedding you wantnice photos and they are really
important because that's goingto help you remember.
You just can't remember the dayunless you have these triggers
and you want someone good too.
So it's like how much money do Iwant to spend?
Do I want to spend$10,000 on aphotographer?
And I know from personalexperience and from speaking to
(13:51):
lots of other people that thosephotos tend to go in the album
because I'm old school, I've gota photos in an album.
Now its all digital.
maybe you might look at it moreoften.
Otherwise they go in the photoalbum in the cupboard and you
pull it out.
maybe a ny anniversary, or maybeevery 10 years.
Or when the kids want to have alaugh at what you used to look
like and what you wore t o yourwedding when you were skinnier a
(14:11):
nd had hair.
So that's what you've g ot t osort of think of.
Emma (14:16):
Yeah, it's a fine line I think and I want to spend more
money on the entertainment andthe fun part, as I said, I want
it to be fun, but I also want tocapture it as well.
I want to spend more money onthis component than I do that,
but I don't want to skimp on iteither.
So it's a very fine line.
Marcus (14:31):
I think if I was to do it again, I would potentially
spend it on video, which wedidnt get but I would definitely
get a video now.
Because you can see people'sreactions and what people's
emotions are.
I know a photo capture that, butvideo is just so much more.
Emma (14:48):
One of my girlfriends got married.
I watched her video and I criedthe whole time and we watched it
two or three times and I cryevery time.
I'm like, I'm not a cryer.
Why am I crying?
They're good at their jobs.
Marcus (14:59):
So again, it's what's important to you and this helps
you decide as we said before, ifyou're big into florals and you
want it to look like a flowershop, then you spend heaps on
flowers and that will make youfeel good.
Yeah.
But you know, at the end of theday as we sort of talk about a
lot of feel good events is isthat going to create the best
experience or is that going togive you the end results you
want?
(15:21):
So the research then at thisstage is, you were saying your,
your only sort of part of theway through it.
It's not too traumatic for youat this stage.
Emma (15:28):
No, not at this stage.
I think it's just more waitingfor people to get back to me.
But research wise, most of thecontent, like it's so easy t he
digital age these days withInstagram and Pinterest youve
got everything at y ourfingertips.
With th e p andemic I can, youknow zoom su ppliers o r
FaceTime them or any of thosesort of things.
So it's definitely been a loteasier.
(15:49):
I'm sure it's a lot easier tha nwh en you pla n yo ur wedding
Having to, y ou don't feel sostressed because you can see
physically what their work is.
Marcus (15:55):
I mean, when did research we used to have to ring
up v enues and then they'd sendus something in the mail, there
was no internet and they'd sendyou an album of photos that
they've done a t this venue andthe price list.
(16:16):
With the research an d, andfinding su pplies a n d a l l t
h at, it can be very stressful.
And you know, one of the keythings we find from weddings an
d a ny events and clients thatwe deal with is that you've got
to have trust in those suppliers,.
Emma (16:29):
100% if you dont trust them then on the day your
worrying that if they're goingto show up or not, are they
going to do what they saidthey're going to do?
So finding suppliers, no matterwhether it's photographer or
cake people or florist orwhatever, you want to feel
comfortable.
You want to have a connectionwith those people so you can
feel like they're not gonna letyou down more if you, if you
(16:49):
don't connect with them and it'sall about price, then you
potentially can run into issues.
It's not all about price.
It's price comes down to it andin a degree, but it's not my top
one priority.
Like it's always in the back ofyour mind, but it's like if I
love someone and I click throughthem so well, I'd probably pay
the extra$2,000 and just, youknow, call it a day.
That's right.
If you've seen, say it's aphotographer, and they've been
(17:11):
really awesome to deal with andI just thought they're just so
easy.
It made it seem so stress-freefor me, you will pay extra for
that course.
Marcus (17:20):
So we've covered the guest lists.
You're all sorted in that.
You've worked out roughly howmany y ou want to come, you're
in the research path,so you'reheading down that way and you've
s ort o f got a budget at thispoint, so you're on the way
there.
Hopefully you'll be able to nutout the budget, I guess when
you've sort of finalized some ofthe suppliers and stuff, waiting
(17:42):
for the quotes to come back.
Emma (17:43):
I think that's when I will do up my firm budget.
But I'm doing the thing that Itell everyone not to do and
thats do a firm budget and Ihaven't done a firm budget.
Marcus (17:49):
If you're paying for the wedding yourself, which a lot of
couples do these days obviouslymakes a difference on how much
you spend.
We know the average spend for awedding is around the$50,000.
It's getting high now, so that'sa lot of money.
So you really want it to be agood fun time.
Emma (18:04):
Well thats a house deposit , you want to make sure you have
a good night.
Marcus (18:07):
So you really want it to be good for all the right
reasons so it's a, it is a bigdecision.
If you're lucky enough to haveparents or other family put in
money, then that's great.
But it's tough to work o uttheir budget.
But I guess from what you'resaying, research, research,
research to find out whatsupplies you want.
Emma (18:26):
I think do that first before you really work out your
budget.
Because I think some people theydo, they just have unrealistic
ideas on how much things cost.
And then I think they fall inlove with a look and then they
can't go backwards and thenthey're, then they're becoming
stressed because they can'tafford what they want.
And I think that, you know, Iwill go over my budget a little
bit and I'd be happy to spend acouple extra thousand dollars
because if it's going to beworth it, it'll be worth it.
(18:48):
But not tens of thousands Ithink, you know, don't stretch
yourself to the point where youcan't leave.
You're going to be eatingrations for the next eight
years.
Marcus (18:56):
It's not worth it eating wedding cake for three months
afterwards because you can'tafford the wedding.
Well thanks Emma it's been greattalking about budget and
research and stay tuned andwe'll be discussing more
suppliers and everything tog todo with wedding planning in our
(19:17):
next podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks.
Hi and welcome to the Partyology experience.
I'm here today with Emma DeJongand we are talking about her
wedding and the planning of herwedding over the next few
months.
In today's podcast we're goingto talk about budget,research
and g uest lists.
Now these topics we get askedabout all the time,what should
you do, and what order shouldyou do them in?
(00:21):
I think for these three things,I've put them all together
because you s ort o f need to dothem all at the same time.
So the first thing you need towork out really is a guest list
because once you've got your guest l ist, you'll know what
size venue to look for and youknow how many people you're
(00:42):
catering for.
So once you've done your guestlist then it'll give you a good
idea what sort of budget you'rego ing t o n eed for your
reception and for all the otherthings.
So Emma in your research so faror doing your gu est l ist how
many hav e yo u got coming toyour wedding
Emma (00:58):
So around one hundred.
It's sitting at around 112 atthe moment, which I think it
probably will stay closer tothat amount rather than a
hundred, but we've just told thevenue a hundred for now until we
work out who's coming and who'snot coming.
The best way that we kind ofwork this out is we actually did
have an engagement party, so wewould just use the same list as
a guide and took some people offthat we thought weren't going to
be invited to the wedding.
(01:19):
But that's probably the best waywe did it.
So have you struggled then, Iguess to hone it back in,
because how many did you have inyour engagement party?
135.
You've basically lost say 20people.
Have you found it hard to sortof kull it down a bit?
Not too bad to be honest.
(01:40):
Some people I think knew they'lljust come to the engagement
party and we'rent going to beinvited to the wedding.
They were people that were likefriends of friends that we knew,
but we invited them to theengagement that are not coming
to the wedding.
So it wasn't too bad to behonest.
I think if I had to kull it downto a hundred it would be more of
an issue because I know it's 12people that would be very upset.
But at the moment, yeah, itsaround 112 which is not too bad.
Marcus (02:01):
One thing people say they struggle a lot with when it
comes to guest lists is how manyto invite and how to fit
everybody into some sort ofbudget.
I personally have been preachingfor years as an unwritten rule
and this sort of works but mightnot work for everyone, but to me
I think you should only reallyinvite people to your wedding
(02:22):
that you think you're going tobe friends with in five years.
Now that sort of makes it hardIf you're working with people
and you may have worked withthem for a couple of years and
you've created a greatrelationship and for whatever
reason you left that job youcould then ask yourself the
question, would I still befriends with this person after I
leave this job?
Or if they left would I continuebeing friends with them?
So if you don't think you'regoing to be friends with that
(02:44):
person in five years time andyou follow that rule then you
probably will find it easier tocut back on your guest list.
Emma (02:52):
Yes it's a really good tool to use I think because work
is a hard one.I think you workwith these people all the time,
so you have to face the music doyou or don't you invite them if
you are going keep workingthere.
But if you don't see yourselfbeing friends with them outside
of work really like long term,then I don't think that it's
something you should be lookinginto.
I think you should just notinvite them and it is hard, but
(03:13):
it is what it is.
I find sometimes with guestlists, it's hard when you've got
parents that say but I want tohave my friends there as well
and well we'll pay for ourfriends.
So it can get into of thosesorts of things as well,
especially if your parents aresort of paying for some of the
wedding as well.
You do get in that sort ofsticky situation but I think if
you and your partner really talkabout it and what you want you
kind of work it out.
(03:34):
Even speaking to my parents acouple of days ago they said
they could of kulled l ike 40%off their guest list for their
wedding they said it wasridiculous.
I don't want to look back andgo, I could have invited say 60
people instead.We literally havea hundred people or 112 t hat a
re like our closest dearestfamily and friends.
So its really quality overquantity then.
A hundred percent, I don't wantto have 200 people to get
married in front of 100 isdaunting enough.
Marcus (03:56):
Yes I agree.We had 140 at our wedding and a lot of
those we don't see anymore soyes I totally get that.
Y eah.
So let's talk the most importantthing, budget.
Budget's a big thing foreverybody.
Obviously budget determines whatyou're going to do,How are you
going to do it and all thosesorts of things.
So have you set a budget andhave you worked out how much
(04:17):
money to spend on each componentof your wedding?
Emma (04:19):
This was a hard one for us I think because we're both on
sort of different terms.
I think I have more realisticideas of how much things cost
and BJ has no idea.
I think when I told him some ofthe costs of what it was going
to be on the day, I think henearly had a heart attack and
fell on the floor.
So I've actually decided not totalk to him too much about
budgeting.
I'll just go along with theplanning and let him know at the
end.We,didn't want to spendcrazy amounts of money.
(04:40):
We do want to spend more moneyon renovating our house as we
spoke about last time.
We have sort of a rough idea ofwhere we're both sort of happy
with budget.
I think I'll be happy to go overit by about 5,000, but that will
probably be pushing it with him.
Marcus (04:55):
So yes, as we say, budget is super hard and I guess
it really is hard to set abudget when you don't know costs
of anything if you are not inthe industry.You have no idea
how much it's going to cost youper head at a function center or
how much the photographer costsor the celebrant.
So really you can't set a properbudget until y ou, research.
Emma (05:15):
I think a little bit for me, because I kind of understood
how much things cost it wasn'tlike Oh wow, this is going to
cost me a fortune.
I think some brides go into thissaying I want this and that then
they realize that's its going tocost them$10,000 to have that
one particular thing.
I think that's when they startto get a bit upset or they turn
into a bridezilla because theywant what they want but they
don't have the money to affordit, I think what people need to
(05:38):
do more is research before theygo into these huge grand plans
and then let themselves down.
I think that's sort of the onething I find people really do
and it's, it's, it's hard tocome back from that when you are
t hat high.
Marcus (05:55):
You know, Instagram and Pinterest make it super hard
because you see all theseglamorous weddings and you don't
realize that particular setupwas a hundred thousand dollars
just in the decor alone.
Let a lone food drinks.
and everything else so that'swhere it does make it hard.
So I would say research,research, research will then
give you a better idea for yourbudget.
One resource we have if you arestruggling with what you should
spend your money on for yourwedding is we have on the feel
(06:17):
good events website, we've got ablog post on, you rough
percentages on what you shouldspend, spend your budget on.
That may give you some idea ofwhere you should allocate your
money.
Now obviously your weddingreception the venue is going to
probably take the most of yourbudget, but you know, at the end
(06:40):
of the day it will give you anidea on what you should spend
your money on.
I mean we've got a guide onroughly on what you should spend
your money on, but you've got tothink is the money you're
spending on your wedding goingto give you the result that you
want.
I think a lot of the time whenpeople are planning, they're not
necessarily doing that.
So they want party of the year,but they're spending their money
on really fancy cars that arecosting them$10,000 to hire
(07:02):
these fancy cars and you areonly in them for five minutes
and then you're in the receptionanyway.
Even flowers, and I meanobviously everybody has flowers
in some degree for their weddingbutt some people go over the top
but then they say they wanttheir wedding to be really fun
and more of a party.
In that case are those flowersreally adding to that fun party
or should they have spent thatbudget maybe on more
(07:23):
entertainment.
They then scrimp on theentertainment because they
they've spent all their money oneverything else.
The entertainment is what makesit maybe more fun.
So really what i am saying iswhat is going to be most
important to you, and what areyou going to get best value for
money?
Emma (07:39):
Yeah, I'm working a budget around that too.
I think a lot of couples shouldsit down and go, okay, these are
the most important points forus.
We're going to spend more moneyon those things because they're
important to us.
And then the things underneathit not so important.
Like they might find flowers,not so important for them, but
yeah, the duo and the DJ or theband is really important.
They spend more on them and Ithink that's the best way to do
it, to be honest, within reasonof course.
Marcus (08:01):
So in doing your research, what have you found to
be good and bad?
What's been your experience fromyour personal point of view?
Obviously you deal with venuesand all sorts of stuff all the
time, so you're dealing withthem on a different level, but
when it comes to your ownwedding and looking at say
venues and that sort of thingand just other suppliers, what,
what's been the good and badparts of that?
Emma (08:22):
It's been quite eye opening for me, to be honest.
I think because now I have toorganize it for myself and I'm
very particular and I thinkbecause I know so much about the
industry and the venues and sortof what I wanted, I had a very
sort of tight idea on how Iwanted it to go.
So for example, an issue that Ifind a lot is that the actual
access times to get into a venueon the day to do your
(08:43):
installation of your room isonly like two hours.
Now for me doing this as a job,I know things take a lot longer
than two hours.
So I wanted somewhere that wouldbe flexible with me and let me
have all day because I knew thatwas gonna be able to do as much
as I possibly could in that dayand make it look as how I wanted
it to.
I feel people also have thesegrand plans.
Yes, they cost a lot, but theyalso take a lot of time to
install as well.
(09:04):
So you might see that floralinstallation, it's$10,000, but
it takes six hours to install.
You don't have that time, sothen you have to pay more on top
of your venue costs just to getthe extra time, which I think
was getting lots of people.
And I have lots of bridescomplain about this all the
time.
I'm just saying that it's sortof misleading in the fact that
they pay,$20,000 for a venue,but then it's an extra$5,000 for
(09:24):
the extra time.
So for me, I was watching out onthat pretty quickly going, I
want a venue, thats going togive me access times.
And also of course thecollection as well.
Making sure that was areasonable amount of time, not
midnight that night and it hadto be out in a half an hour
,that's not really, realisticfor people.
Marcus (09:36):
So have you found suppliers are they getting back
to you on time?
Is there long wait times forquotes, all those sorts of
things?
Emma (09:48):
I think it's hard the moment we're actually halfway
through a pandemic, so it is ahard one to answer at the
moment.
I think it's slightly different.
I'm finding it quite frustratingin the fact that a lot of people
are taking a lot of time to getback to you and being in this
industry, I understand thatpeople are busy and for us at
feel good events it sometimes itcan take us two days to get back
to people and we of course trynot to do that.
I'm waiting two, three, four,five weeks for quotes and I
(10:13):
understand there is a pandemic,but you also feel like you want
to be wanted as a bride and thatmakes me not want to hire from
them.
I'm like, if this is the hardestprocess what's it going to be
like on the day for me, I don'twant that extra stress of having
to wait five weeks for you toreply.
So for me, I sort of just thinkI'm being lenient.
I'm giving them two or threeweeks and I think that's
perfectly fine but you know,four or five weeks it's starting
(10:35):
to get like Im really notimportant to you at all.
Marcus (10:38):
I think there's something in that that's a good
test if you're finding you'redealing with suppliers, whether
it be photographer, venue orwhatever it might be, and
they're taking weeks to get backto you from the beginning.
You're thinking what's it go ingt o b e like when we do sign up
or hand over some money?
You are asking yourself are theygoing to be painful to deal with
every time I have a quickquestion or something like that.
Organizing a wedding can bestressfull there's lot s in
(11:01):
volved in it.
So I think that's a sign that ifyou're finding that, a
particular supplier is taking awhile to get back to you, the n
ma y be th ey're not the rightchoice.
Emma (11:09):
I found a lot in the world of Instagram, especially my age,
everyone's looking for weddingsuppliers on Instagram and all
the photos look amazing.
But I found a lot of theseInstagram accounts, they don't
even have websites.
And for me it's sort of a bit ofan alarm bell and they're not
that far advanced in theindustry to have a website,do I
(11:33):
trust them or not?
and that sounds really horriblebut for me in the industry, I
think a website is something youjust have across the board if
you're in business.
So I did find it a bitdifficult.
It was really hard to get incontact with those people
because if they're not checkingtheir Instagram all the time,
okay.
It was difficult and if theydidn't get their email and I'm
trying to chase them all thetime.
So it was a bit hard.
Marcus (11:51):
So doing research that you have done are you now
finding it easier to set thebudget.
Emma (11:58):
It is, I think I, I'm a Pinterest lover.
I love Pinterest.
I have about 400 million boardsand everything, like, as Marcus
would know at Pinterest, everytheme, every single thing and I
think I really sickly know wheresome of these photos that I see
that I understand how much it'sgoing to cost.
The budget I think will beworkable.
Marcus (12:15):
How much has it blown out so far since you started
doing proper planning to whereyou are now.
Emma (12:20):
I don't know if it has blown out because I havent
worked it out.
The hard part is, I kinda, I'mdoing any in my head because I
kind of know sort of wherethings are sitting at the
moment.
I really do need to sit down andactually do the full budget but
I know sort of where I'msitting.
I think I was thinking about20,000 at the moment.
I haven't really done a littlenitty gritty things which I know
costs the most.
So that would be for the venue,and venue takes up a lot of that
(12:42):
and I know that of course I'mnot doing a big flash bang
wedding.
So some weddings start off at20, 30,000 just for the venue
,but I've also got, you know,photography and stuff like that
in there as well.
So, yeah, I found that the mostexpensive part at this stage is
venue, which I knew.
But photography and videographyhas really thrown me a little
bit.
I know marcus already knows thisbecause I've discussed it with
him, but I just really didn'tunderstand how much this costs.
(13:05):
We do it for work, but to do itfor yourself as well and work
out how much this costs.
It was sort of a bit dauntingfor me because I was like, wow,
I just realized that I thoughtI'd have, you know, four or
5,000 would be maximum me, butI'm looking from seven to eight
to nine and that's just a normalamount.
So that's where I think I'vegotten stuck as a bride going,
okay, what do I value?
Do I value my photos or do Ivalue the video more?
(13:27):
So that's sort of something I'mweighing up at the moment cost
wise.
Marcus (13:30):
And that's another key thing there too.
I know with our wedding you wantnice photos and they are really
important because that's goingto help you remember.
You just can't remember the dayunless you have these triggers
and you want someone good too.
So it's like how much money do Iwant to spend?
Do I want to spend$10,000 on aphotographer?
And I know from personalexperience and from speaking to
(13:51):
lots of other people that thosephotos tend to go in the album
because I'm old school, I've gota photos in an album.
Now its all digital.
maybe you might look at it moreoften.
Otherwise they go in the photoalbum in the cupboard and you
pull it out.
maybe a ny anniversary, or maybeevery 10 years.
Or when the kids want to have alaugh at what you used to look
like and what you wore t o yourwedding when you were skinnier a
(14:11):
nd had hair.
So that's what you've g ot t osort of think of.
Emma (14:16):
Yeah, it's a fine line I think and I want to spend more
money on the entertainment andthe fun part, as I said, I want
it to be fun, but I also want tocapture it as well.
I want to spend more money onthis component than I do that,
but I don't want to skimp on iteither.
So it's a very fine line.
Marcus (14:31):
I think if I was to do it again, I would potentially
spend it on video, which wedidnt get but I would definitely
get a video now.
Because you can see people'sreactions and what people's
emotions are.
I know a photo capture that, butvideo is just so much more.
Emma (14:48):
One of my girlfriends got married.
I watched her video and I criedthe whole time and we watched it
two or three times and I cryevery time.
I'm like, I'm not a cryer.
Why am I crying?
They're good at their jobs.
Marcus (14:59):
So again, it's what's important to you and this helps
you decide as we said before, ifyou're big into florals and you
want it to look like a flowershop, then you spend heaps on
flowers and that will make youfeel good.
Yeah.
But you know, at the end of theday as we sort of talk about a
lot of feel good events is isthat going to create the best
experience or is that going togive you the end results you
want?
(15:21):
So the research then at thisstage is, you were saying your,
your only sort of part of theway through it.
It's not too traumatic for youat this stage.
Emma (15:28):
No, not at this stage.
I think it's just more waitingfor people to get back to me.
But research wise, most of thecontent, like it's so easy t he
digital age these days withInstagram and Pinterest youve
got everything at y ourfingertips.
With th e p andemic I can, youknow zoom su ppliers o r
FaceTime them or any of thosesort of things.
So it's definitely been a loteasier.
(15:49):
I'm sure it's a lot easier tha nwh en you pla n yo ur wedding
Having to, y ou don't feel sostressed because you can see
physically what their work is.
Marcus (15:55):
I mean, when did research we used to have to ring
up v enues and then they'd sendus something in the mail, there
was no internet and they'd sendyou an album of photos that
they've done a t this venue andthe price list.
(16:16):
With the research an d, andfinding su pplies a n d a l l t
h at, it can be very stressful.
And you know, one of the keythings we find from weddings an
d a ny events and clients thatwe deal with is that you've got
to have trust in those suppliers,.
Emma (16:29):
100% if you dont trust them then on the day your
worrying that if they're goingto show up or not, are they
going to do what they saidthey're going to do?
So finding suppliers, no matterwhether it's photographer or
cake people or florist orwhatever, you want to feel
comfortable.
You want to have a connectionwith those people so you can
feel like they're not gonna letyou down more if you, if you
(16:49):
don't connect with them and it'sall about price, then you
potentially can run into issues.
It's not all about price.
It's price comes down to it andin a degree, but it's not my top
one priority.
Like it's always in the back ofyour mind, but it's like if I
love someone and I click throughthem so well, I'd probably pay
the extra$2,000 and just, youknow, call it a day.
That's right.
If you've seen, say it's aphotographer, and they've been
(17:11):
really awesome to deal with andI just thought they're just so
easy.
It made it seem so stress-freefor me, you will pay extra for
that course.
Marcus (17:20):
So we've covered the guest lists.
You're all sorted in that.
You've worked out roughly howmany y ou want to come, you're
in the research path,so you'reheading down that way and you've
s ort o f got a budget at thispoint, so you're on the way
there.
Hopefully you'll be able to nutout the budget, I guess when
you've sort of finalized some ofthe suppliers and stuff, waiting
(17:42):
for the quotes to come back.
Emma (17:43):
I think that's when I will do up my firm budget.
But I'm doing the thing that Itell everyone not to do and
thats do a firm budget and Ihaven't done a firm budget.
Marcus (17:49):
If you're paying for the wedding yourself, which a lot of
couples do these days obviouslymakes a difference on how much
you spend.
We know the average spend for awedding is around the$50,000.
It's getting high now, so that'sa lot of money.
So you really want it to be agood fun time.
Emma (18:04):
Well thats a house deposit , you want to make sure you have
a good night.
Marcus (18:07):
So you really want it to be good for all the right
reasons so it's a, it is a bigdecision.
If you're lucky enough to haveparents or other family put in
money, then that's great.
But it's tough to work o uttheir budget.
But I guess from what you'resaying, research, research,
research to find out whatsupplies you want.
Emma (18:26):
I think do that first before you really work out your
budget.
Because I think some people theydo, they just have unrealistic
ideas on how much things cost.
And then I think they fall inlove with a look and then they
can't go backwards and thenthey're, then they're becoming
stressed because they can'tafford what they want.
And I think that, you know, Iwill go over my budget a little
bit and I'd be happy to spend acouple extra thousand dollars
because if it's going to beworth it, it'll be worth it.
(18:48):
But not tens of thousands Ithink, you know, don't stretch
yourself to the point where youcan't leave.
You're going to be eatingrations for the next eight
years.
Marcus (18:56):
It's not worth it eating wedding cake for three months
afterwards because you can'tafford the wedding.
Well thanks Emma it's been greattalking about budget and
research and stay tuned andwe'll be discussing more
suppliers and everything tog todo with wedding planning in our
(19:17):
next podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks.
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