2.09: A murderess caught in the act! — The libertine is exposed as a thief! — We learn of The real-life Boxing Baroness, Lady Barrymore

A Sunday-evening full episode IN WHICH —

0:05:10: TERRIFIC REGISTER ARTICLE:

• The miracle in the burning house, that saved a young John Wesley, the later founder of Methodism.

0:09:00: SPRING-HEEL'D JACK, Ch. 16:

• In this chapter, we cut back to the libertine who we saw badgering the poor ballet-girl two chapters ago. Now he is being upbraided by a very young woman. We learn that this girl is his old fancy-piece, whom he ruined with the kind of fair promises he’s been laying on the ballet-dancer; now he’s ready to cast her aside and move on to a new toy. But she has a little surprise for him … and there's a hint about that surprise in the title of this episode!

0:25:00: EARLY VICTORIAN DAD JOKES:

• Five mild-mannered funnies from "Joe Miller's Jests; or, The Wit's Vade-Mecum," first published in 1739.

0:27:30: THE BLACK BAND, CH. 16:

• A lot happens in this short chapter! Millionaire Robert Merton is very excited; he finally gets to have a quiet dinner alone with his wife, the lovely Lady Edith. She, though, is pale and seems very nervous. It looks like she is really going to use that little phial of poison that Colonel Bertrand gave her at the ball the night before. Will she come to her senses in time to avoid a terrible mistake? Will Robert Merton die if she does not? Will she get away with it? We shall see.

PLUS —

• We learn (starting around 0:42:45) about the spirited life and sad end of Mary Ann Pierce, a.k.a. Lady Barrymore, a.k.a. The Boxing Baroness. Lady B. was the wild and untamed mistress of Richard Earl of Barrymore, perhaps the most notorious rake of the Regency and a boon companion to the young prince who would soon be King George IV. There are drinking songs and even a published street ballad. Don't miss this segment!
• Learn the meaning of "ridge coves," "romoners," "squail," and a few other words of highway-robber slang, and ...
• What the nursery rhyme "Hey diddle diddle" is really singing about. (Hint: Diddle is a flash-cant word for something babies don't usually drink!)

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a one-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!

Episode Transcript

(00:09):
A tip top evening to all your Ridge coves, Romaners and
Knights of the brush and Moon. I'm your host Finn JD John
welcoming you back to the chafing crib once again.
It's Sunday night and that meansit's time again for the penny
dreadful variety hour. So sit back and relax and grab a
bottle of diddle and damp your mug and swivel your Pipkin.

(00:30):
My direction because another rare hour long noggin of early
Victorian prattlery is upon us like Lady Barrymore on a poor
boxed up Charlie. And if you get that reference,
yeah, you're in good company. If you don't get that reference,
don't worry, you soon will. The Penny Dreadful Variety Hour
is the show that carries you back to the sooty, foggy streets

(00:52):
of early Victorian London when the latest batch of the story
papers hit the streets. And I mean not the fancy ones
full of sketches by boss and comments about Parliament, but
the cheap scrappy ones that costa penny and that the Gentry
coveses and body snatchers call penny bloods are penny
dreadfuls. That is right.
They are the good stuff like a squail or two and a boozing can.

(01:12):
It may be a little rough, but itdoes the job.
The Penny Dreadful Variety hour comes 3/8 times a week.
Now. This is the full hour long main
Sunday night episode of the Penny Dreadful Variety show.
I keep it clean enough for everyone to appreciate.
If you're here for the spicy bits, well, as spicy as we get
around here, Body Song Lyrics isabout as porny as we get.

(01:33):
You'll find those in our TuesdayTupany Terrible Demi Hour shows.
And for all you Victorian age murderinos, you'll find the
Murder and War Crime and Deeds of blood in the Hate Penny
Horrid Half Hour segments on Thursday nights.
Real quick before we start, a Ridge Cove is a Goldsmith.
A Romaner is a fake occultist ora swindler who pretends to have

(01:55):
occult powers. Diddle is hard liquor, which
puts a fun new connotation on that old nursery rhyme, huh?
Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat andthe fiddle.
Your pipkin is your head. You knew that Gentry covesces
are respectable ladies. Body snatchers are police
detectives, not to be confused with resurrection men, about
whom more shortly. And a squail is a drink of

(02:16):
liquor. A boozing can is a gin palace or
other low drinking den. And I think that's all of our
flash terms from the intro. So now let's get on with the
show. So here's what we've got in
store for tonight. We'll start things off with a
ghostly palate cleanser, an article from the terrific
Register, that truly dreadful, salacious publication full of
murders and ghost stories from the 1820s, which was a regular

(02:39):
weekly favorite of Charles Dickens when he was a young lad.
On Sundays, we look for the spooky stuff from the Register,
leaving the gruesome death talesfor the next tape.
Any horrid Hers Day episode. This episode will be unusually
short because we're tight for time.
This episode next chapter 16 of Spring Heeled Jack the Terror of
London by Alfred Coats, which first started publication in

(03:02):
1866. In this chapter we're going to
be coming back to the libertine who we saw badgering the poor
ballet girl 2 chapters ago. Now he's being upgraded by a
very young woman who we learn isactually his current mistress,
whom he ruined with exactly the kind of Fair promises that he's
been laying on that ballet dancer.
Now he's ready to cast her asideand get a new toy, but she's got

(03:25):
a little surprise for him. It's going to be kind of fun
after that, a little something allegedly witty or funny in the
form of an article from an earlyVictorian popular comedy
magazine like Punch or Fun, or maybe an early Victorian dad
joke from the old Joe Miller joke book.
Then right after a short break, we'll get chapter 16 of The

(03:47):
Black Band or The Companions of Midnight by Mary Elizabeth
Bradden, which started publication in 1861.
And a lot happens in this short chapter.
Millionaire Robert Merton is very excited.
He finally gets to have a quiet dinner alone with his wife, the
lovely Lady Edith. But she is something wrong with
her. She's pale, she's super nervous.

(04:08):
And we recall that Colonel Bertrand slipped over and gave
her a file of poison to potentially use on her husband.
Is she going to do that tonight?Will she come to her senses in
time to avoid a terrible mistake?
Is someone going to die? Will she get away with it?
We'll see. Then we'll finish out the hour

(04:29):
with a little sample. Actually, in this case, a fairly
large sample of some of the Flash Can't songs about highway
robbers and pickpockets and other fun stuff, courtesy of one
of the Supper club song books ofthe 1830s and 1840s.
This one will take us a while tounpack, and I get to introduce
you to one of the most fascinating characters in the

(04:49):
English speaking world, MariannePierce, AKA Lady Barrymore, AKA
the Boxing Baroness. Let's get this show started with
an article from the Terrific Register, a teenage Charles
Dickens favorite magazine. This little nugget was first
published in the early 19 or 1820s rather.
Here we go. This short article appears on

(05:14):
page 30 of the Terrific Register.
It isn't exactly a ghost story, but it may have a supernatural
quality to it. Its headline is a brand from The
Burning. John Wesley's favorite phrase,
that he was a brand plucked out of the burning, had a literal as
well as a figurative meaning. Mr. Wesley's father was rector

(05:36):
of Ebworth, a market town in theLindsay division of
Lincolnshire, irregularly built,and containing at that time in
its parish about 2000 persons. The inhabitants are chiefly
employed in the culture and preparation of hemp and flax, in
spinning these articles, and in the manufactory of sacking and
bagging. Mr. Wesley found his
parishioners in a profligate state, and the zeal with which

(05:59):
he discharged his duty, and admonishing them of their sins,
excited a spirit of diabolical hatred in those whom it failed
to reclaim. Some of these wretches twice
attempted to set his house on fire, without success.
They succeeded in the third attempt.
At midnight some pieces of burning wood fell from the roof
upon the bed in which one of thechildren lay, and burned her

(06:22):
feet. Before she could give the alarm,
Mr. Wesley was roused by a cry of fire from the street.
Little imagining that it was hisown house, he opened the door
and found it full of smoke, and that the roof was already burnt
through. His wife, being ill at that
time, slept apart from him and in a separate room.
Bidding her and the two eldest girls rise and shift for their

(06:42):
lives, he burst open the nurserydoor where the maid was sleeping
with five children. He snatched up the youngest and
bade the others follow her. The three eldest did so, but
John, who was then six years old, was not awakened by all
this, and in the alarm and confusion he was forgotten.
By the time they reached the hall, the flames had spread
everywhere around them, and Mr. Wesley then found that the keys

(07:04):
of his house door were above stairs.
He ran and recovered them a minute before the staircase took
fire. When the door was opened, a
strong northeast wind drove in the flames with such violence
from the side of the house that it was impossible to stand
against them. Some of the children got through
the windows, and other through alittle door into the garden.
Misses Wesley could not reach the garden door, and was not in

(07:26):
a condition to climb to the window.
After three times attempting to face the flames, and shrinking
as often from their force, she besought Christ to preserve her,
if it was His will from that dreadful death.
She then, to use her own expression, waded through the
fire, and escaped into the street, naked as she was, with
some slight scorching of the hands and face.

(07:47):
At this time John, who had not been remembered till that
moment, was heard crying in the nursery.
The father ran to the stairs, but they were so nearly consumed
that they would not bear his weight, and being utterly in
despair, he fell upon his knees in the hall, and in agony
commended the soul of the child to God.
John had been awakened by the light, and, thinking it was day,
called to the maid to take him up, but as no one answered, he

(08:10):
opened the curtains and saw streaks of fire upon the top of
the room. He ran to the door, and finding
it impossible to escape that way, climbed upon a chest which
stood near the window, and he was then seen from the yard.
There was no time for procuring a ladder, but it was happily a
low house. One man was hoisted upon the
shoulders of another. Him could then reach the window

(08:30):
so as to take him out. A minute later, and it would
have been too late. The whole roof fell in, and had
it not fallen inward, they must all have been crushed together.
When the child was carried out of the house to where his
parents were, the father cried out.
Come, neighbors, let us kneel down.
Let us give thanks to God. He has given me all my eight
children. Let the house go.

(08:51):
I am rich enough. John Wesley remembered this
providential deliverance throughlife with the deepest gratitude.
In reference to it he had a house in flames engraved as an
emblem under one of his portraits, with these words for
a motto. Is not this a brand plucked out
of the burning? And now let's open up Chapter 16

(09:15):
of Spring Heeled Jack. Previously in Chapter 15 at the
small boat, 2 rough sailors tookEllen folder from Jack and
invited him to climb a board after them and join them in a
glass of grog. Instead, Jack swam back to the
barge to retrieve his cloak. There was no sign of the barge
guard, and Jack hoped he had notdrowned.
Then he was hailed by a trio of river police.

(09:37):
They attempted to take him into custody on the barge, and Jack
turned the tables on them, took their boat and rode back to
check up on Ellen, promising that they would find their boat
tied up at a nearby dock the next day with a £5 note tucked
under a thwart. And we closed the chapter with
Jack tying up next to the boat from which the two sailors took
Ellen to try and revive her. That was Chapter 15.

(09:59):
We'll continue that story later,much, much later.
Actually, we won't be circling back to this thread until
chapter 27. The whole Edward Coats really
jumps around. But now in chapter 16, we're
returning to the story of that would be ballet girl rapist.
He's about to get his comeuppance with a little help
from our hero. So let's get to it.

(10:25):
Chapter 16 The libertine and hisvictim A dark deed prevented
Hawk you, Richard Clavering, youare a contemptible villain, and
I tell you so. I whom you lured away from a
peaceful home, from friends who loved me better than their own
life. Such were the words uttered in

(10:46):
angry and tearful tones by a young girl, for scarce woman had
she yet become in years as she stood with flushed face and
heaving bosom, glaring upon a young man who stood in the
center of a well furnished, brightly lighted apartment in
the West End of London. His form was tall and graceful,
but the lineaments of his features bespoke him as one who

(11:08):
gave unbridled license to his worst passions.
It was evident from the flushed face and expression of his eyes
that he had been drinking freely, and a red scar passing
from temple to ear told of an injury received in some affray
of recent date. Even in her indignation his
companion was far more beautifulthan the ordinary run of her

(11:29):
sex. Tall in stature, graceful in
deportment, with features of regular symmetry and eyes of
matchless brightness, she was one of those whom any man might
be pardoned for looking upon with admiration.
But the lovely features were convulsed now with passion, the
worst of all passions, jealousy.A few months before, and she was

(11:51):
the pride of her father's house,the hope of a doting mother, the
envy of her sex, pure in heart, in mind and name.
Now she was the wearied mistressof the man before her, the
libertine Richard Clavering. He had been smitten with her
beauty, and she, fascinated by his manner, LED away by his
plausible tongue, listened to his lying promises and deserted

(12:14):
friends, kindred home all for him, and only to find, when too
late, that, like the moth that flutters around the alluring
flame, all that glitters is not gold, and that poverty with
purity of soul are richer gifts than splendor allied to
dishonor. The toy had pleased him for a
time, and then he had wearied ofit, then sought the

(12:36):
gratification of his passions inother quarters, and now desired
the absence of Jesse Bolton to make room for another one who
had hitherto repulsed him, but over whom he fondly believed
gold would triumph. And she had from his coldness
suspected his desires, and followed and watched him at the
theatre door. All the agonies of jealousy
tearing at her heart. She could have rushed upon and

(12:59):
upbraided him with his perfidy, but by an effort she had
resolved to wait till he returned home.
Yes, she would not let him see her or allow him to imagine she
doubted him. But when she saw him struck down
by spring heeled Jack, all the old love returned, and she was
by his side to aid him home. Together they had come.
He, annoyed and ashamed, walked before her in silence.

(13:22):
She, with all the passions of jealousy returned, followed him
in silence. She found it difficult to keep
pace with him. And now they stood face to face
in that sumptuous apartment, where night after night she
awaited him, where he had whispered eternal love in her
ears, and where she afterwards sat in tears at the thought of
what she had become and the memory of her past happy life.

(13:45):
The contemptible villain am I. He said, clenching his hand as
he spoke and taking a step nearer to her.
Yes, a villain. Beware, you speak not thus to
me, he said, his flushed face becoming even more purple.
Recollect what you are a thing, living upon my bounty, trusting
to my generosity for bread. Oh God, sighed the girl.

(14:09):
Has it come to this Wretch, Wretch, are you so fallen, so
debased, so lost as to taunt me with what I am, what you have
made? Me.
Twas your own inclination that led you to sin, if sin you call
it. It was your lying promises, your
perjured oaths, Richard. BA, it may have been my wealth

(14:31):
that glittered till it blinded. Your reason?
No, No. Oh no.
What then, my love? Your love?
Yes, BA. I scoff at it now that you are
tired of it, she said with a deep sigh and a fresh gust of
scalding tears. It was love which led me to
believe you, a true man. It was love which blinded me to

(14:54):
your true nature. And now where are your promises?
Where? Where?
Where I always intended they should be.
He sneered. Oh, how have you fallen,
shameless man, when you can stand there and own yourself a
liar? The young man set his teeth hard
together. Curse you, he hissed.

(15:15):
If you would not have me hurl you forth into the streets to
starve, haunt me no more. Coward.
Fool rather that I ever looked upon you is worthy a passing
glance, he sneered. But tis the reward of men of
position when they condescend tostoop to admire rustic beauty.

(15:36):
Please beggar on horseback, and he'll ride to the devil.
Smile upon a poor peasant girl, and she aspires to the position
of wife, and when she is honoured by that of mistress.
The bosom of Jesse rose and fellwith the tumultuous emotions
that shook her soul. Oh, mother, Mother, could you
see me now? She.

(15:57):
Gasped forth in tones of such agony that even that callous
hearted man moderated the contemptuous curl upon his lip.
It's a great pity she don't, he said.
For then I should be rid of you.Is that your hope?
It is that you may place anotherin my position?
She asked. Perhaps that you may drag down

(16:19):
to ruin and degradation another soul whom the breath of impurity
has not yet stained. Maybe.
He said coldly and playing with the massive gold chain that hung
at his Westcott button hole. That you may blighten others
hopes, ruin her Peace of Mind forever.
Then insult and cast her aside as you would me.

(16:39):
She continued, her pale face flushing with shame and
indignation and her bright eyes sparkling in the jealous fire
that consumed her. It is more than probable.
He sneered. And you own this to me?
Why not? Why not?
She cried fiercely. Why not?
Oh man. Wretch.
Demon Rail horn. Rail Horn.

(17:02):
I cannot find words to upbraid you as I would words to tell you
what my heart feels, she said, placing her hand on her bosom as
if she hoped to thereby distill its tumultuous beatings.
I am not sorry for that. No, for if you have one spark of
feeling, one sense of honor left, every word would sink like
heated iron to your black and callous.

(17:23):
Heart sure it is not so tender. Alas, I know it would.
I had known it before. Before.
Before what? Before I?
Oh God, shame and horror makes me fear to give it utterance.
Tis a pity that you had not sense enough to withhold what

(17:43):
you have said already. That would have been better for
you. Better, yes.
How so? Because you would have given me
no excuse to leave you. And such is your intention.
I cannot hold further communication with the woman who
calls me liar and villain, he said.
You are both. Perhaps I am.

(18:05):
You have been such to me and will be to another.
That's very likely if she is such a fool as you were to
believe all that is said. She raised her eyes to his face.
She fixed them upon him with a fierce and penetrating glance.
Hark you, Richard Clattering, she said in a slow and measured
tone. Hark, you villain, liar,

(18:27):
libertine betrayer that you are.I will foil your intentions.
I I will foil you. He turned away with a sneer.
She sprang forward and grasped and by the arm.
Stay, she said imperiously. What?
He exclaimed. Stay you forget yourself.
I do not. I say you do.

(18:48):
I command you stay and hear me she.
Cried loudly. You command.
I. Methinks tis yours to obey, mine
to command in this house. Remember, you're here, but on
sufferance, living upon my bounty.
He exclaimed, resting his arm from her hold.
You have told me so before. And may do so again.

(19:10):
No, you will not. Because you dare.
Not after I've spoken what I will say, she exclaimed in
pointed tones. What will you say?
That the poor girl you seek to make your victim, I will warn
against you. Tell her your true character.
Do so she will not believe you. He.
Sneered she will, for she looks not upon you as I did.

(19:32):
She loves me to distraction. He said jauntily and tauntingly,
another lie. Her poverty may lead her to
accept your wicked offer, but but what when she knows you for
a thief she. Hold.
He cried, turning fiercely upon her and clutching her arm.
What do you mean? His face was livid now, his hand

(19:54):
shook as it rested on her wrist and the muscles of his mouth
moved nervously. What?
Why? That I have found the dice you
have played with are loaded and you've systematically robbed
your friends and companions at the gaming table.
Oh, how did you learn this? I suspected it.
And what found my suspicions to be true?

(20:16):
I took them that I might betray me.
No, that I might shield you fromthe shame of discovery.
But now? Now what?
Your perfidy shall be your ruin.The woman you scorn will be
bitterly avenged. Where are they?
He hissed in safety. Give them to me.

(20:37):
Never by hell I will have them, he cried with fearful emphasis.
By heaven you shall not. They shall save her from a
villain's Wiles, and avenge of villain's victim.
He flung her round as she spoke,hurling a chair to the ground as
he did so and snatching A daggerlike knife from his breast
pocket, held it before her eyes,saying.

(20:57):
The dice or you die. Villain, would you murder me?
She shrieked as he forced her back upon the couch.
Then, overcome with anguish and terror, she uttered A sobbing
cry and fainted, still grasping her arm.
His face livid with passion and fear, the libertine bent over
her with the knife clutch tightly in his hand.
But ere he could raise it, the long French window was flung

(21:20):
back, and a man bounded through it into the room.
The libertine dropped the knife,turned, and stood face to face
with spring heeled Jack. Well, I have to say, Richard
Clavering makes a pretty slap bang villain, and he'll get even

(21:42):
better in the next chapter. As usual here in good time.
I can't get into detail on that without dropping a spoiler, but
trust me, it gets good. One of my favorite things about
this dreadful is how adorably humanistic it is.
You know there's a fine line between telling a moralist story
and delivering A moralistic sermon.
The entertainment industry is right now in the process of

(22:02):
learning that the hard way. This dreadful falls just shy of
that line in the sweet space where it's still enjoyable to
explore, with the moral tone making it kind of soothing and
comforting. It's kind of like a Roy Rogers
movie, that kind of feel. Here, of course, we have a
fallen woman. Unlike Jane Slater, the young
wife whose husband's greedy bosswants to debauch her, or Ellen

(22:24):
Folder the seamstress, Jesse Bolton has been sexually
initiated by a man who's not herhusband.
The custom of the time called her ruined.
Here, though, we get to see her in dialogue with the man who
ruined her, and it has a very modern feeling.
Springhill Jack will make it very explicit next chapter.
Our author does not view Jesse Bolton as less of a woman

(22:44):
because she fell for this blaggard sales pitch.
And you know, that's nice. Of course, the solution is
staring us in the face, right? If you're an 1860s person, a
good old fashioned shotgun marriage will make everything.
Well, I mean, we'll see about that.
It doesn't take much of A leap to know that that's probably
what Jack is going to have in mind.
And now that he has entered the room, we can expect developments

(23:09):
to develop, let's just say. Speaking of developments, in the
next chapter, we continue this thread.
Richard Clavering tries to bluster his way out, but it's
just not a good look. We we we ended this chapter with
him looming over his unconsciouslady friend with a knife.
In his first, Jack unmasks himself and we learn that he and
Richard Clavering know each other socially, which is

(23:32):
interesting. Makes you wonder if Spring
Heeled Jack actually does any gambling.
Perhaps he's learning that Richard Clavering has been
stealing from him? Or did he overhear the part
about the loaded dice? What will he do if he does
overhear that part? And what will happen to poor
Jesse? Well, we'll find out in a couple
of weeks when the next chapter of this story comes along.

(24:01):
Now it's time for an article from one of the old Victorian
journals of comedy and comedy, if you will.
For today's selection, I'm working from a little joke book,
the 1st edition of which was published in 1739 under the
title Joe Miller's Jests or the Wits That a Meekum.
This was not written by Joe Miller.
Joe Miller actually was completely uninvolved in either

(24:23):
the book or the jokes it contains.
The title of this joke book is the best joke in the book.
Let me explain. According to the introduction to
the augmented 1865 edition that I'm working with, Joseph Miller
was a comic actor with the Leslie Nielsen or Buster Keaton.
Stone faced Skills, a character whose constant seriousness could
be played for big laughs. Miller was a regular in the

(24:46):
Blackjack, a public house in Portsmouth Street, where the
other regulars got in the habit of ironically claiming every
time someone cracked a good one that Joe Miller had cracked it.
This became something like a meme among Tavern regulars.
And then Joe Miller died suddenly, leaving his family
unprovided for. So the other regular stepped up
and collected all the jokes theyhad spuriously attributed to Joe

(25:08):
and published them with his nameon them.
Unless it was that during much, maybe all, of the Victorian
period, little alleged witticisms of the type we're
about to hear were widely referred to as Old Joes.
So let's have an Old Joe or two.A Hackney coachman who was just
set up had heard that the lawyers used to club their

(25:29):
thripants apiece, 4 of them to go to Westminster, and being
called by a lawyer at Temple Bar, who with two others in
their gowns got into his coach, he was bid to drive to
Westminster Hall. But the coachman still holding
his door open as if he waited for more company.
One of the gentlemen asked him why did he not shut the door and
go on. The fellow scratching his head

(25:49):
cried. You know, Master Morph, as a
shilling I can't go for gnawing pence.
Two free thinking authors. Typically that would mean
blasphemers or pornographers proposed to a bookseller that
was a little decayed in the world, that if he would print
their works they would set him up.

(26:10):
And indeed they were as good as their word, for in six weeks
time he was set up in the pillory.
A gentleman was saying one day at the Tilt Yard coffee house,
when it rained exceedingly hard,that it put him in the mind of
the general deluge, an old term for Noah's flood.
Zoom, Sir, said an old campaigner who stood by, was

(26:30):
that I have heard of all the generals in Europe but him.
A certain poet and player, remarkable for his imprudence
and cowardice, happening many years ago to have a quarrel with
Mr. Powell. Another player received from him
a smart box on the ear, a few days after the poetical player
having lost his snuff box, and making strict inquiry if anyone

(26:52):
had seen his box. What?
Said another one of the busk andwits that one which George?
Powell gave you the other night.Gunn Jones, who had made his
fortune himself from a mean beginning, happening to have
some words with the person who had known him some time, was
asked by the other how he could have the impudence to give

(27:13):
himself so many airs, when he knew very well that he
remembered him seven years before, with hardly a rag to
his. Back you lie, Sarah.
Replied Jones. Seven years ago I had nothing
but rags to my back. Finally it's time for our last
dreadful of the evening, The Black Band or The Companions of

(27:34):
Midnight by Mary Elizabeth Bratton, previously in Chapter
15 of The Black Band was late inthe evening and the load of it
seen either star of the ballet was relaxing at her Arlington
Street house, being sad because Lord Lionel Brothers Bane had
not come to see her at the opera.
She clearly developed a bad casefor him.
Then the cabriolet dashed up. We always know who's dashing up

(27:57):
because if it's a cabriolet, it's this guy.
He himself bounded out and came to her and and claimed he was
the most miserable of men and said that he took up with her on
the rebound from the betrayal ofwhat he called a fiend in Angel
form to try and forget said fiend.
But then he happened to see her again, and he was like, it's.
All coming back to me now. Yeah, OK.

(28:21):
I can't do Céline Dion, sue me anyway.
Anyway, same sentiment. But he begged Loloda to run away
with him to some foreign land where he wouldn't ever see his
haunt Honey again. And they could pose there as
husband and wife even though they couldn't get married
because Loloda's already married, right?

(28:42):
Well she, having done the arse over tin cups thing in spite of
herself, found herself unable tosay no to him.
Luckily for her, just then Lionel's real fiend showed up,
having let himself in burglar style and said no for her.
It turned out the Lord Brothers Bane had played hooky from a
black band meeting to come and see her and make his be my fancy

(29:03):
piece pitch and Colonel Mephistopheles himself followed
to drag him back to the meeting.And so he did, and that finished
up Chapter 15. We'll be continuing with Chapter
16 right after this short break.Welcome back to the Penny

(29:31):
Dreadful Variety hour. Now where were we?
Oh yes, queuing up Chapter 16 ofthe Black Band.
Chapter 16. The poisoner is defeated.
The following day, Lady Edith Merton and her husband dined
alone. It was to the millionaire an

(29:53):
unexpected pleasure to find himself in the Society of his
beautiful wife without being surrounded by a crowd of guests
for whose frivolity and heartlessness he had no feeling
but contempt. How delightful, my dearest
Edith, to feel, even for one brief hour, that we are
something more to each other than mere strangers.
I assure you that I look forwardto the simple dinner of this

(30:15):
evening as the most delightful festival of the season.
Had Robert Martin been of a suspicious nature, he might have
observed on this day a strangeness in the manner of his
wife, a death like pallor on herhandsome face, dark rings about
her eyes that told of a sleepless night, and a nervous
restlessness in every action bespeaking a mind.

(30:37):
I'll at ease. As you think so much of our
quiet little dinner, Robert, said Lady Edith in her sweetest
tones. Suppose we dine in my boudoir,
We can dismiss the servants whose presence is always such a
hindrance to conversation, and Iwill wait upon you with my own.
Hands, my dearest Edith, cried the merchant.

(30:58):
Nothing could be more delightfulto me that day.
Lady Edith Merton was gayest of the gay as she drove round Hyde
Park, her carriage surrounded byhorsemen, only too proud to get
a bow from one of the reigning Queens of fashion.
Only a very close observer wouldhave perceived the hollowness of
that silver laugh, the false ring of that musical voice, the

(31:21):
fever in those lustrous eyes. Only a close observer would have
known that the woman of fashion was acting apart.
As the clock struck 8, Lady Edith and Robert Merton seated
themselves at the elegantly appointed dinner table in the
boudoir of the millionaire's wife.
Though it was scarcely sunset, the light of day was shut out by

(31:41):
curtains of rose colored silk, and the apartment was
illuminated by alabaster lamps which shed a subdued ragence
over all around, exactly opposite to Lady Edith and
behind the chair of the merchantand immense mirror stretched
from ceiling to floor. Robert Merton had at first
seated himself opposite to this mirror, but on some pretext or

(32:03):
other the lady changed places with him.
The Butler had placed a small dinner wagon loaded with bottles
of wine and silver coolers, exactly before this very mirror.
The servants removed the covers and retired.
Robert had told them that he would open the champagne
himself. The merchant was in the highest
spirits, and ate with more appetite than usual.

(32:25):
Lady Edith, On the contrary, scarcely took a mouthful.
You do not eat, Edith said her husband most anxiously.
I am fatigued with my drive, sheanswered carelessly.
I will take a glass of champagnepresently and I have no doubt
that. Will give me an appetite.
You shall not wait long for it then, dearest, cried Robert

(32:46):
gaily, and rising from his seat,he took one of the bottles from
the silver cooler and began to unfasten the wire that secured
the cork. As he did so, Lady Edith drew
from her bosom the tiny crystal file given to her by Colonel
Bertrand on the night before, and, stretching her jeweled arm
across the small dinner table, poured one drop of the poison in

(33:07):
her husband's champagne glass. She had forgotten the mirror.
Robert Merton turned round with the bottle of wine in his hand,
and after filling his wife's glass, replaced the bottle upon
the dinner wagon whence he had taken it.
You have not filled your own glass, Robert, said Lady Edith
anxiously. I shall not take any wine, not

(33:29):
even to please me? No, not even to please you.
Lady Edith bit her lip until theblood flowed from the wound
inflicted by her small ivory teeth.
The murderous was foiled when the servants were clearing the
table. Robert Merton stopped the man
who was removing the glasses, saying carelessly, you may
leave. That champagne glass, Jarvis, I

(33:50):
may fancy a glass of wine in thecourse of the evening.
Place it upon that ivory cabinet.
The man obeyed, and the glass containing the one drop of the
deadly fluid was placed upon a cabinet near the merchant.
What an absurd idea. Exclaimed Lady Edith angrily.
Jarvis, remove the glass. I cannot have my boudoir

(34:10):
littered by the remains of the dinner table.
The man hesitated, puzzled. Whom to obey?
Remove the glass immediately, said Lady Edith Jarvis, said the
merchant quietly. You are my servant, and you will
do as I bid you leave the room. He cannot suspect, thought Lady
Edith, pale as a corpse, and with an undefined dread at her

(34:31):
heart. He would never be so calm if he
had suspicion of the truth. She forgot that in these quiet
natures there is an element of power unknown to the more
vehement and impulsive. She did not know that the
vengeance of the man who says little is always the most
terrible and unfailing. The shrouded lamps left the face
of the merchant in shadow, or she might have seen that he was

(34:54):
very pale. Presently he threw aside his
newspaper, and walking to an elegant little desk at the end
of the room, he seated himself and began to write.
The wretched and guilty creaturefollowed him with watchful eyes.
How dull you are tonight, Robert, she said, preserving her
calmness by a fearful effort. But it is not very polite of you

(35:15):
to write letters when we are alone together.
Excuse me, he said. This letter is of importance.
It will not detain me long. He wrote a few lines, addressed
an envelope, and then rang a bell at his right hand.
See that this is taken immediately to the Earl of
Horton, he said, handing the letter to the servant who
answered his summons. You were writing to my.

(35:36):
Father, then Robert, said Lady Edith, whose agitation every
moment increased. Yes to your father, answered the
merchant gravely. But what reason could you
possibly have for writing to my father?
She asked. You will see presently.
How so? Because if that letter finds
your father at home, he will most likely come here
immediately in accordance with my request.

(35:59):
But what can you want with him tonight?
I decline saying anything further until your father
himself is present. Robert.
Robert cried the guilty creaturein an agony of apprehension.
What does this mean? He did not answer her.
For upwards of half an hour she remained prey to the most acute
terror and anxiety. Grave, calm and self possessed,

(36:22):
the merchant sat awaiting the arrival of the visitor he had
summoned. Once or twice he looked at his
watch, and rising from his chair, took one or two turns up
and down the room. To Lady Edith Merton that half
hour seemed by its length of agony and eternity, of suspense
and torture. At last footsteps were heard in
the richly carpeted gallery without, and the groom of the

(36:43):
chambers announced Lord Horton. The old man looked pale and
uneasy. My dear Robert, he said, what in
goodness name induced you to send for a poor old fellow like
me at 10:00 at night? Pray be seated, my Lord.
Said the merchant gravely. My Lord, oy Robert, what are you
thinking? Of cried the old man, the

(37:04):
merchant seated himself oppositehis father-in-law, and in solemn
tones which vibrated through thelofty apartment, he addressed
the Earl thus, Lord Hart. Nothing but the solemn and
dreadful nature of the subject on which I have to address you,
would have induced me to send for you at such an hour, and in
so abrupt A manner. I have something to tell you, my

(37:24):
dear Lord, which I fear will break your heart.
Robert, Robert, cried the terrified old man.
Edith, tell me what your husbandmeans.
But the baffled murderer set rigid and unmoved as stone.
I would willingly spare you the bitterness of this pang, my
Lord, But it cannot be this night in this room, that woman,

(37:45):
who is, unhappily for both of us, your daughter and my wife,
attempted to poison me. Great heaven, cried the Earl.
You were mad. I would that I were my Lord,
rather than have lived to see what I've seen this night.
Look at that glass, said the merchant, taking the champagne
glass from the cabinet. Into this I distinctly saw a

(38:06):
Lady Edith pour the poison, which was to have been drunk by
me. The merchant then described how
he had seen in the looking glassthe outstretched hand which
contained the crystal file. But.
Gasped the Earl, eager to catch at the frailest straw that could
afford a hope. Are you certain the fluid
contained in that file was indeed a poison?

(38:26):
We will soon set that doubt at rest, said Robert Merton,
ringing a bell. Jarvis, he said to the servant
who came in answer to the summons.
Fetch Lady Edith's Italian greyhound.
Bring also a small piece of raw meat.
The man was too well bred A servant even to look astonished
at this order. He left the room and returned in

(38:46):
a few minutes carrying a valuable lap dog and a small
square of raw steak upon a dinner plate.
The collar of the dog was of thefinest gold set with large
turquoise, so lavishly had the millionaire scattered his wealth
to please the extravagant tastesof his wife.
Robert took the dog in his arms and after rubbing the meat in
the bowl of the champagne glass,offered it to the animal.

(39:09):
Well fed as the dog was, he ate the morsel greedily. 5 minutes
afterward, without one throw or struggle, the greyhound fell
dead at the merchant's feet. Great powers of Percy, exclaimed
the wretched father. I must be mad or.
Dreaming. Calm yourself, I implore you, my
Lord, said Robert. It is no time for lamentations.

(39:31):
Serious measures must be taken. Under the present circumstances.
I have only one alternative withregard to my unhappy wife, your.
Daughter. Either she is a murderous or she
is mad. Mad, cried the old man.
The thought had never struck himbefore, but he clung to it as a
spar of hope. For the credit of an ancient
name, for the honour of human nature, I would rather think her

(39:53):
mad. Look at her, said Robert,
snatching a lamp from the table and holding it before the face
of his wife. Look at her and become convinced
of either her guilt or her madness.
Who else? It is indeed too true.
Said the Earl, gazing at his daughter's Stony face.
For your sake, Lord Horton, saidRobert, as well As for the sake

(40:13):
of her whom I once called my wife.
The events of this night shall never be revealed to mortal
ears. Amongst my other property
purchased of late years, I have an estate in the north of
Scotland, a castle hidden among the craggy peaks of the
Highlands, far from all human habitation.
Thither shall this wretched woman be conveyed, and there,
watched by careful attendance, shall she spend the remainder of

(40:35):
her life. The lips of the guilty creature
were unloosed. She sprang from her chair and
rushing to her husband, clung convulsively about him.
No, Robert, No, no, no, she shrieked.
Anything but that, Anything, anything.
A prison, a Court of Justice, even the scaffold.
I am not mad. I'm a vile and wicked ratchet.
I am not mad. In mercy to your unhappy family,

(40:59):
you will be treated as a mad woman.
Said the merchant, pushing her from him, and then walking to
the door. He turned with his hand upon the
lock and said solemnly, Lady Edith Magdon, I have loved you
with all the intensity of an honest and truthful nature.
You will now find that I can also hate.
She uttered 1 long and piercing scream and fell fainting into

(41:21):
her father's arms. Well, that escalated quickly,
didn't it? A lot happened, and really a
whole lot to discuss, though. In the next chapter, Chapter 17,
we'll cut to an entirely new scene in which a heavily veiled

(41:41):
woman is meeting a usurer that she calls Mr. Lucas to borrow
money. But something is going on.
She's clearly not what she seems.
And then we learn that this usurer is Lucas Clavering, Ellen
Clavering's father, who has not heard a word from Ellen in six
months and, feeling betrayed by her, no longer cares if he lives
or dies. Which is good, because it's soon

(42:04):
obvious that this woman is an agent of the Companions of
Midnight and Colonel Bertrand isthis night planning his
destruction. Will he accomplish it?
Colonel Bertrand accomplishes most things he sets out to do,
so I can't really hold out a whole lot of hope for his
father-in-law, but we'll see. It'll be coming your way two
weeks from today when the Black Band comes up on our rotation

(42:26):
once again. Before we move on, let's pause
to appreciate one of the bits ofpoetical fervor that have been
handed down from the early Victorian era via one of the
great old informal evening songbooks.
This one's going to take some time to unpack.
It's quite a rabbit hole. We might circle back to this
topic in a future Episode 2. Today's song comes to us

(42:52):
courtesy of The Convivialist, anextensive collection of humorous
Flash and love songs published circa 1833 by Jay Duncan of
Holborn. It's titled Lady Barrymore's
Lamentation in Quad. In Quad, of course, is the Flash
term for In Jail. It's subtitled A favorite chant
sung at the Cock and Hymn clubs to the tune of the old dying

(43:16):
speech verses. I don't know that tune.
Even if I did, I wouldn't inflict my singing on you, so
I'll just read it as poetry, as usual.
But first, a word about Lady Barrymore.
Actually, several words about Lady Barrymore.
Strap in. This will take some time.
Her real name was Mary Anne Pierce, and she was the

(43:36):
gorgeous, wild young mistress ofRichard, Earl of Barrymore, the
7th Earl of Barrymore to be specific.
Richard had an actual wife, a woman named Charlotte, and she
was a bit wild too. But Mary Anne Marianne called
herself Lady Barrymore anyway, despite having no legal claim to
it as a title. She also called herself the

(43:57):
Boxing Baroness. That's right, Lady Barrymore was
a prize fighter. At least, she almost certainly
was a prize fighter. That may be how she caught Lord
Barrymores eye as he was a colossal boxing buff.
There was a sort of underground scene of women boxers in the
Regency and early Victorian. Kind of like how there's a
skeezy mud wrestling scene todayin certain American biker bars

(44:20):
over here in the colonies, in which women in bikinis wrestle
each other, little Sheba style, all greased up with mud or jello
while a bar full of men swig beer and Ogle.
Lady boxers didn't go for knockouts.
Typically, they would hold a coin in each hand, and whoever
dropped one of her coins first was considered to have lost the
fight. I'm not really sure if Lady

(44:41):
Barrymore boxed competitively. Her name, the Boxing Baroness,
might actually have been a punning reference to the boxing
of Charlie's. That would be tipping over
watchmen's huts, which were a little smaller than a modern
portable toilet stall, onto their faces with a watchman
inside so that he could not without considerable difficulty
get out. This was considered great fun

(45:03):
for Roystering high spirited young men and women on a spree.
Boxing Charlie's was definitely one of Lady B's favorite
activities, along with all sortsof other drunken Roysterings.
So it may be so. But there are lots of images of
her in boxing poses. If you Google Boxing Baroness
you will find them very easily. And like I said, boxing was a

(45:23):
thing for ladies, although not arespectable thing.
Now, Lord Barrymore was a notorious rake, gambler,
sportsman, and womanizer, and a really bad influence on the
young Prince George, who later became King George the 4th in
1820. Did actually quite a lot to give
the disreputable flavor to late Regency stuff.

(45:43):
He died young in 1793 from a musket accident while on a
military campaign, and after hisdeath Marianne continued to use
the Lady Barrymore moniker untilher own death several dozen
years later. Well, a couple of points here.
First, Pierce Egan in his life in London's serial story, that
glorification of rich young swells living lives of rakish

(46:05):
dissipation mentions a cock and hen club.
In his story he has it being kept by a couple.
He called anything Tommy and Half Quarter and Loose Tommy is
well. Let me just quote directly here.
Cock and Hen club, a public house concert or free and easy
to which women are admitted and everybody is supposed to do as

(46:25):
they like to stand upon no ceremony, come when they please
and brush when it suits. Brush means leave, but all sorts
of lush must be tipped for on delivery.
That means all sorts of alcohol must be paid for when it's
served no credit. Poor trust being dead and
buried. To keep the game alive, Logic
said to Tom and Jerry, You shallaccompany me now to what is

(46:49):
termed a cock and hen club, or you may say and do as you like.
The crib is situated in an obscure part of the town, but I
know it well. On entering the club room, Jerry
was struck with astonishment at the surrounding group.
It is nothing new to me, repliedLogic, but rather a renewed
feature of lowlife in London. But we will ask our waiter for

(47:11):
some little account about the chairman, who appears to me to
be an original, and we must alsoobtain, if possible, a trifling
outline of his assistant, the lady patroness of this meeting,
the chairman in petticoats. They are both out and outers,
answered the waiter, and nothinglike them on earth to keep such
an unruly company together as anything.

(47:32):
Tommy and half, quarter and loose the chairman.
Tommy has been by turns a custermonger, a coal whipper, a
flying dustman, a boner of stiffones.
That's a resurrection man, and anything to earn an honest penny
and a bit of a prig if it suitedhim.
Prig means a thief. Sooner than to have to complain
of an empty vittling office reference to the stomach, he can

(47:56):
throw off a flash chaunt in the first style, and pat her slang
better than most blades on the town.
That in London does abound. If you wants to see a bit of
life, go to the bowl and pound tis.
There you'll see Paw Bette and Sal and many other flames, and
pitch and hustle. Ring the bull and lots of fancy
games as to half quarter loose, continued the waiter.

(48:18):
She's a. Clever woman, in fact.
She was reared a real lady, but now she is scarcely ever sober.
I have known her to drink 36 half quarters of gin in a day.
It is from her love of blue ruinshe derives her name.
Luce was once a very handsome woman, but she has been reduced
step by step to the wretched creature she now appears to be,

(48:39):
and drinks herself stupid to drown all reflections.
I have witnessed a great. Variety of scenes since I have
been in London, said Jerry to Logic.
But this is equal to any if it does not beggar the whole of
them all 36 half quarterns a day.
Now 1/2 quartern is 2 oz. So that's literally over 2
quarts of gin. Obviously there's some

(49:01):
exaggeration there, but the point comes across just fine and
one has to wonder if half quarter and loose was in fact
Lady Barrymore. Maybe the cock and hen club
thing has a personal connection to her.
OK, now I'm going to read a broadsheet ballad published
without a date but sometime in the first third of the 1800s,
which fully tells the story of Lady Barrymore.
She died from the effects of excessive gin consumption in

(49:24):
1832. The extraordinary life and
death. Of Mary Ann Pierce, alias Lady
Barrymore, who was for some years the dashing mistress of
Lord Barrymore. Afterwards she became upon the
town where her exploits in flooring beetles, Charlies,

(49:44):
etcetera, are well known. She was the terror of police
officers and publicans, had been150 times at Bow Street, and
confined in every jail in London.
This unfortunate woman, who for many years past had been the
terror of beadles, Watchmen, publicans and police officers,
expired on Monday night at her lodging a miserable attic in the

(50:08):
house #8 Charles St. Drury Lane.
She was twice taken to the station house in Covent Garden
on Sunday last for disorderly conduct, and discharged by Mr.
Thomas, the Superintendent, for at least the 100th time.
On being discharged for the lasttime, she addressed Mr. Thomas,
saying, I have given you a greatdeal of trouble, Sir, but I

(50:29):
shall not give you much more. It is almost over with me.
Mr. Thomas observing that she appeared faint.
And I'll advised her to go home and go to bed.
And she left the station promising to follow his advice.
But the ruling passion of her life, the love of gin, overcame
her resolution, for it appeared that instead of returning to her
lodging, she found out instead some of her favorite haunts, and

(50:50):
became again intoxicated. In this state she reached her
home, where she was put to bed, and about midnight the owner of
the house came to the station and gave information that the
unfortunate woman was either dead or dying.
Mr. Thomas immediately went to the house, supposing that she
might have met with some I'll treatment.
But on his arrival there at midnight he found that she had

(51:10):
been dead about 10 minutes, having expired from a general
decay of nature brought on by her addiction to gin and the
miserable life she had LED. For the last 15 years she had
been a constant visitor at everypolice office in London, and by
far the greater portion of that time she has lived in prison.
Her excess under the influence of liquor occurred so frequently

(51:31):
that the evening of the day on which she was discharged from
prison generally found her thereagain.
Her conduct in confinement formed a singular contrast to
her behavior on obtaining her discharge in prison, where she,
of course, had no opportunity ofindulging in her favorite
beverage. She conducted herself with so
much decency and propriety that Mister Nodder, the governor of

(51:52):
Tawdhill Fields Jail, usually appointed her to watch over the
female prisoners in the capacityof matron, and he has often
declared that he could not have selected a more fit person, and
he always regretted for her own sake when the expiration of the
term of her imprisonment took place.
Her appearance on quitting prison was extremely decent, but
the first use she made of her liberty was a visit to the gin

(52:14):
shop, and in half an hour after that she might be seen
staggering through the streets, followed by a crowd of idlers
plaguing and annoying the wretched woman.
To avoid them she generally tookrefuge in the public house,
where she would demand more gin,and if refused, her first act
was to smash the windows and destroy everything that came
within her reach. These outrageous, of course, led

(52:35):
to her apprehension, but being apowerful woman, she seldom
resigned her liberty without a struggle, in which her captors
generally received some token ofher prowess.
And in the days of her strength,the old Watchmen were so fearful
of encountering her ladyship single handed, that they seldom
presume to approach her unless in a body, and even then they
were frequently obliged to resort to a stratagem before

(52:57):
they could effectually secure her.
The unfortunate woman, although reduced to the lowest state of
misery and prostitution, was once the dashing cheramee of
Lord Barrymore, with whom for a period she enjoyed all the
luxuries and gaieties of life, living in a splendid house, and
riding in her carriage. When this connection terminated,
his lordship provided her with ahusband and the person of one of

(53:19):
his servants named Pierce, on whom, it is said, he settled A
yearly sum. The visions, however, of her
former splendor haunted the unhappy woman, and her marriage
with Pierce produced continual bickerings and unhappiness, and
finally LED her to adopt the miserable course of life, the
irregularities of which obtainedfor her so much notoriety.
More particulars. In her youth she was considered

(53:41):
a remarkably fine woman, but of the last 10 years of her
existence not less than seven were passed within the walls of
different prisons in the metropolis.
She had been at Bow Street 150 times, but was never charged
with theft. She was the dread of the
licensed Viddlers of Westminster, many of whom had
cause to regret having refused to supply her with ardent
spirits, as she invariably smashed the glasses and windows

(54:05):
unless they gave her as much ginas she desired gratis.
Such was the extraordinary strength of this woman that she
has been known to beat down 3 Watchmen in succession without
any great effort, and set them at defiance.
The last time she was brought toBow Street office she appeared
to be in consumption, and she told Mr. Minchold that it was
her last appearance on that stage, and as her old friend and

(54:28):
long acquaintance, Sir Richard Burney, was gone, she knew she
should not long survive him. Few persons whose names are
recorded in the annals of police, if any, have been so
much before the public as Mary Ann Pierce, and on that account
we give this record of her death.
Solemn verses. Ah, who is she whose haggard eye
shrinks from the morning ray? Who trembling wood, but cannot

(54:52):
fly from the busy day? Mark her pale lip and Chico.
Or how deathly it appears. See how her bloodshot eyeballs
pour torrents of briny tears. Behold, alas, misfortunes,
child, for whom no kindred grieves.
Now driven to distraction, Whileher tortured bosom heaves
despised, yet dreaded, ruined, lost health, peace and virtue

(55:14):
fled on misery stormy ocean tossed, now stretched on dying
bed. Once were her prospects bright
and gay Hope smiling, blessed her hours.
A vile seducer crossed her way and cropped the blooming flower.
Dazzled by shining grandeur, shequits parents, friends and home.
But soon reduced to poverty, an outcast vial to roam, she for

(55:38):
relief to licker flies, which soon full havoc made vanished
the luster of her eyes. Her beauty soon decayed off did
she brave the winter's wind, thedriving sleet and rain, And
often prison drear. Confined for months, she would
remain at length by drink and fell Disease worn down to skin
and bone Upon a wretched pallet laid no kindred, nigh not one

(56:01):
She yields to death no pitying friend.
Her hopeless fate deplores you. Fair take warning by the end of
Lady Barrymore. Printed by Jay Catmatch to
Monmouth Court 7 Dimes. That concludes this broadsheet.
Ballad. This was an actual broadsheet

(56:22):
ballad that was printed out and distributed in probably the
1830s, sold on the streets like our penny dreadfuls were.
I was able to find a scan of it through the Scottish Royal
Library. So OK, now let's finally get
around to reading the song that started us down this rabbit
hole. Lady Barrymore's Lamentation in
Quad, a favorite chaunt sung at the.

(56:44):
Cock and hen. Clubs tune old dying speech
verses. Attend ye sisters frail, attend
unto my dismal lay all you who've gone like me, alas, from
virtues paths astray. For many years you know I
reigned the terror of you all, Though off to captive.
I've been cooped within this prison wall.

(57:05):
The traps, you know, and Screwsman too, have shrunk
beneath my frown. The beaks do likewise shake with
fear when I'm upon the town. Beaks are magistrates, by the
way, and Screwsman are the jailers, not Proserpine, the
queen of Hell. Air carried such a sway, and
from the Trojan dames of old I bare the palm away.
My valor ne'er was doubted yet, and while I still have breath

(57:28):
that ne'er shall be. I trust my fame will live beyond
my death. Side note there, we can confirm
that such was the case. She's still notorious today, and
if you recognized her name when I first said it forth, you
probably knew all of this already.
Alas, I cannot well expect that one will shed a tear in pity for

(57:48):
poor Mary Anne upon my funeral beer.
The Charley man who OFT I floored, I know will all rejoice
who hold their tongues while yetI live more out of fear than
choice. Charley Mann, of course, is
Watchmen, and many more, whom I could name in different shapes
and ways, When I've knocked up aprecious row, and OFT have
milled their glaze, as you probably know, milled Mill the

(58:11):
glaze means break the glass or break a window.
But, ah, vain boast, I am now floored.
Yes, floored beyond a doubt no longer.
Lady Barrymore, the able and thestout.
Oh yes, it is all up with me. So girls, I hope you'll raise,
if not a monument, some gin and sing unto my praise.
Well, this has been a really funrabbit hole to rundown, and

(58:34):
maybe we'll circle back to it a little bit later.
Maybe I'll have an opportunity to dig into Lord Berry more, a
little more. He sounds nice.
Well, that concludes this episode of the weekly Penny
Dreadful Radio Hour. I hope that you will join me
again next week, same Spring Hill time, same Spring Hill

(58:56):
channel for our next full hour show.
But there's no need to wait thatwhole week.
We've got 1/2 hour Tupany Terrible Tuesday coming up in
just two days. In it, we'll have Chapter 16 of
Black Bess, or The Night of the Road, starring highwayman Dick
Turpin. In it, Dick Turpin is in a bit
of a tight spot. He slipped away from the highway

(59:18):
and hid in the darkness of a hedgerow, turning the stolen
horse loose with a slap on the rump.
But they're closing in until wait.
Is that the Spectre horseman again?
He looks just like Dick. He's dressed just like Dick.
Who is he? Is he really a spectre?
He can't be. The cops can see him.
They're racing away after him. Will he lead them away from

(59:39):
Dick? Is he there for Dick's friend?
Well, we'll be finding out. Plus we'll have another spicy
saloon song, a terrible tidbit of the day from no less a
luminary than Charles Dickens himself.
More flash, can't words, and maybe some other stuff too.
All coming your way in two nights at Dick Turpin.
Scragging Hour 537, AKA 1737, this coming Tuesday evening.

(01:00:05):
Our theme music is a version of Golden Slippers, A minstrel show
song written by James A Bland in1879.
This version is by Seattle old Time band $4.00 Shoe.
For more of their music, see $4.00 shoe.com.
That would be the number 4, the word dollar and the word shoe
all crammed together into one word.
All lowercase.com. The Penny Dreadful Variety Hour

(01:00:27):
is a creation of pulp lit productions.
For more details, see pulp-lit.com and to get in touch
with me, hit me up at [e-mail].
Thanks again for joining me, my Pippins.
It's time for us to broom for the Penny Dreadful Variety show.
I'm Finn, JD, John signing off and now fair forth and fill up
the rest of the week with slap bang stuff.

(01:00:48):
Bye now.