Episode 14: Letting Go of Bitterness: How Pride Becomes Your Prison and Trust Becomes Your Freedom

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The heaviest burdens we carry are often invisible—pride that prevents reconciliation, damaged trust that keeps walls high, and bitterness that poisons our present. Today we're breaking down why these emotional chains weigh us down and how to find freedom through forgiveness and small steps toward healing.

Pride is tricky territory. We explore the critical difference between healthy pride that gives us confidence and toxic pride that isolates us completely. How many relationships have ended not because something unforgivable happened, but because no one was willing to take the first vulnerable step toward healing? When hurt happens, our brain's protective mechanisms kick in immediately. The lower brain screams "danger!" while our higher thinking remains capable of nuance—of understanding not everyone will hurt us the same way. The challenge is moving from that survival mode into something more balanced.

Forgiveness often gets misunderstood as weakness or surrender when it's actually profound strength. It doesn't mean trusting someone who hasn't earned it—trust and forgiveness are separate journeys with different timelines. What about when someone disappears without explanation, leaving you with questions that haunt you? We tackle the painful reality of relationships ending without closure and practical strategies for giving yourself the resolution you deserve. Through five actionable steps, you'll learn to recognize when fear is driving your decisions, how to extend trust gradually, acknowledge past wounds without letting them define you, practice self-liberating forgiveness, and redirect your energy toward purpose instead of pain.

Ready to put down the heavy chains of resentment and reclaim your joy? Share this episode with someone who needs this message, and remember: holding onto bitterness is like carrying a heavy chain you think protects you, when it's only weighing you down. Subscribe to the Plus One Theory podcast for more insights on becoming stronger through small, intentional steps that create lasting change.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello friends, this week on the Plus One Theory
podcast, we are taking a deepdive into pride, trust and the
burden of bitterness, and howthese emotions can keep us stuck
if we let them.
But before we jump in, if thisis your first time tuning in or
if a friend sent you thisepisode, welcome.
You've come to the right placeto gain new insight into letting

(00:33):
go of toxic pride, regainingtrust and taking small but
powerful steps toward healing.
The Plus One Theory is allabout small, intentional steps
that create real change overtime.
It's not about perfection oroverwhelming transformations.
It's about choosing just oneextra step forward every day to

(00:58):
become a little stronger, alittle more self-aware and a
little more in control of yourown energy.
And today we're applying thattheory to trust, pride and
moving past resentment.
What we'll cover is thedifference between healthy pride
and toxic pride, how trust isrebuilt, one step at a time, why

(01:23):
.
Forgiveness isn't about them.
It's about you what to do whensomeone ghosts you or leaves
without explanation and shiftingyour energy from pain to
purpose.
If you've been struggling withbitterness or resentment, ask
yourself is this how I want mystory to end?
Every moment spent relivingpain is a moment taken away from

(01:45):
building joy.
Let go of what no longer servesyou.
Hey friends, welcome back tothe Plus One Theory podcast.
I'm Pam Dwyer, and today we'rediving into a topic that affects
all of us at some point Pride,trust and the burden of
bitterness.
We've all been hurt.

(02:05):
We've all had moments whensomeone betrayed us, let us down
or walked away when we neededthem most and, if we're honest,
many of us have also been guiltyof shutting people out because
we were too proud, too afraid tobe vulnerable or too hurt to
risk trusting again.
But here's the real questionhow do we move forward, how do

(02:30):
we heal and how do we make surethat our pride doesn't become a
prison that keeps us stuck inthe past?
Let's get into it.
Pride is often seen as astrength.
We're told to be strong, to beindependent, to never let anyone
see us struggle.
But there's a fine line betweenhealthy pride and toxic pride,

(02:53):
the kind that isolates us, keepsus from asking for help and
convinces us that we have tohandle everything alone.
Think about it how manyrelationships, friendships,
marriages, family bonds havebeen broken not because of
something unforgivable, butbecause no one was willing to
take the first step towardsreconciliation, because neither

(03:16):
side wanted to admit fault,reach out or be vulnerable.
I've seen people carry grudgesfor years, not because they
didn't want to reconnect, butbecause their pride wouldn't let
them.
And let's be real Holding ontoresentment isn't strength.
True strength is being willingto let go, to forgive and to

(03:37):
move forward.
When we've been hurt, our braingoes into protection mode.
The lower brain, the part wiredfor survival, tells us don't
trust again, don't get hurtagain and keep your guard up.
And over time that becomes ourdefault setting.
But there's another part of thebrain, the frontal cortex, that

(03:58):
actually thinks it through.
It's the part that can say noteveryone is the same.
Maybe I can trust again, just alittle, just enough to let the
right people in.
The problem is, many of usnever make it to that step.
We stay in the survival mode ofour lower brain, keeping our
walls up so high that no one canget in, even the people who

(04:22):
want to love us.
This is the big question, isn'tit?
When someone disappoints you,what do you do?
Do you cut them off forever?
Do you give them another chance?
Do you let the bitterness takeover?
The truth is, forgiveness isn'tfor them, it's for you.
Forgiveness releases you fromthe weight of bitterness, but

(04:44):
forgiveness and trust are notthe same thing.
Trust has to be earnedstep-by-step, through time and
consistency, but forgiveness,that's something you give freely
so you don't carry that weightanymore.
Now let's talk about somethingthat's even harder when you
never get closure yes, closure.

(05:04):
Sometimes people just walk away,they ghost you, they cut you
out with no explanation, andthat can be one of the hardest
things to accept, because you'releft wondering what happened.
Did I do something wrong?
Did I hurt them and not realizeit?
Should I have known?
Here's the thing.
Sometimes people assume weshould just know what we did,

(05:27):
but we are not mind readers.
If you've lost someone and youhave no idea why, the only thing
you can do is give yourselfclosure If possible.
Reach out one last time, letthem know how you feel, tell
them you were hurt, that youwish things had been different

(05:47):
and that if they ever want totalk, you're open, and then you
let it go.
You don't have to keepwondering.
You don't have to keepwondering.
You don't have to keepreplaying the what-ifs.
You did your part.
Now we're going to take alittle break and hear from one
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Hey, are you looking for apowerful, engaging and
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(07:11):
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So if you've been carrying pridelike a shield and trust like a

(07:32):
broken mirror.
It's time to start taking smallsteps towards something better.
And here's how, number one, youcan recognize when it's your
lower brain talking.
That part of your brain onlyknows fear.
It doesn't know healing.
Shift to the logical part andask am I pushing people away out

(07:53):
of habit or because it's trulywhat's best?
Number two start small.
Trust isn't an all or nothinggame.
It starts in little moments,small acts of grace and testing
the waters.
Number three acknowledge thepast, but don't let it own you.
Yes, you've been hurt, but noteveryone is the same and not

(08:17):
everyone will fail you the sameway.
Number four forgive, not forthem, but for you.
Holding onto anger doesn'tpunish them.
They could care less, but itpoisons you.
And number five shift yourenergy.
Instead of focusing on the pain, focus on purpose.
Pour your time and heart intothings that make a difference

(08:40):
Helping others, growing yourself, being kind when no one expects
it.
Surprise, if there's one thingI've learned, it's this Nothing
good grows in a heart hardenedby pride.
The strongest people I knowaren't the ones who hold grudges
the longest, but the ones wholet go, who choose love over

(09:01):
resentment and who find strengthin vulnerability.
So, if you're holding on tobitterness, ask yourself is this
how I want my story to end?
Because every moment you spendin resentment is a moment you're
not spending in joy.
As I always say, holding on topride and bitterness is like
carrying a heavy chain you thinkit's protecting you, but it's

(09:25):
only weighing you down.
True strength is found inforgiveness, in choosing
kindness over resentment andusing your energy to build
rather than destroy.
That's it for today's episode ofthe Plus One Theory podcast.
If this spoke to you, if itstirred something inside, share
it with someone who needs tohear it and, as always, keep

(09:46):
your heart open, your pride incheck and your spirit light.
Keep your heart open, yourpride in check and your spirit
light Until next time.
I'm Pam Dwyer.
Stay strong, stay kind and letgo of what no longer serves you.