Episode 31: The Sacred Space Between Breaking and Becoming

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Ever had your entire world collapse in a single day? That's exactly what happened when my thriving digital marketing business imploded after a misunderstanding led to every client canceling their contract simultaneously. The fallout was devastating, no revenue, unable to make payroll, damaged family relationships with my investor, and a complete loss of confidence in my abilities as an entrepreneur.

This raw, vulnerable episode takes you through my journey from spectacular failure to quiet resilience. I share how escaping into youth ministry gave me space to heal, and how it took nearly a decade to recover financially from what felt like career suicide. But what seemed like an ending was actually the beginning of something more aligned and purposeful.

The real transformation came when I learned to sit in what I call "frustration tolerance", that uncomfortable space between breakdown and breakthrough where our most important learning happens. This concept has become central to my new brand and message, "Delay the Binge," which explores how a simple pause before any automatic behavior (whether overeating, overworking, or doom-scrolling) creates space for awareness and choice. That pause is where your power lives.

Whether you're facing career setbacks, relationship challenges, or personal habits that no longer serve you, this episode offers a framework for turning pain into purpose. You're not alone in your messy middle, you're exactly where your next chapter begins. Remember, you don't have to be perfect. You just need to pause, breathe, and take your next plus one step toward reclaiming your story. Next week, I'll be interviewing podcasting veteran Robert Plank about consistency, resilience, and turning your message into movement.

Visit Pam Dwyer online and sign up on her email list to receive the latest updates!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Welcome back to the Plus One Theory podcast.
I'm your host, pam Dwyer, andtoday's episode is a little
vulnerable, a little gritty anda whole lot honest.
We're talking about how welearn by messing up Yep,
mistakes, missteps andfull-blown failures.

(00:34):
They're not the end of thestory.
They're the very place we beginagain Smarter, stronger and
more aligned.
Again Smarter, stronger andmore aligned.
So if you've ever felt like theonly one fumbling your way
around, you're in good companytoday.
Let's get into it.

(00:55):
My first business wasn't builtout of strategy.
It was built out of passion.
Empower Plus One started withjust a few website clients,
mostly small businesses, whoneeded help figuring out their
online presence.
And what I found early on wasthis Most people don't know what

(01:18):
they want.
They know what they don't want,but asking them to articulate a
vision, that was a wholedifferent thing.
I would spend way too manyhours designing what I thought
their vision was, only for themto say, yeah, no, that's not it.
It was exhausting and I wasspending unpaid hours in labor

(01:46):
only to have to start over again.
So I came up with a process tohelp inspire, motivate, educate.
I'd inspire them with visuals,motivate them to dream clearer
and educate them on how the sitewould work.
So we were all aligned.
A friend that I an acquaintance,we'll call her saw how well

(02:10):
this process worked and invitedme to speak to a group of
dentists who were strugglingwith digital marketing and
training their staff how tomaintain it.
So I thought sure, why not?
I'll help them all out.
You know that one opportunityturned into a flood of new
clients.
Suddenly, I had more businessthan I could handle and I was

(02:34):
flying high y'all.
I was so excited.
So I did what most newentrepreneurs dream of I was
going to scale.
New entrepreneurs dream of Iwas going to scale.
I brought in a distant familymember as an investor.
We rented and remodeled anoffice space, filled it with
sleek furniture, hired designers, copywriters, admins, the whole

(02:59):
thing.
But it all unraveled just asfast.
The same friend who referred meto all those dentists.
Well, she got upset oversomething I said at a meeting, a
topic I had no idea was verysensitive.
So, rather than talk to me, shetold all the dentists that she

(03:21):
had referred to cancel theircontracts immediately.
And they did, every last one ofthem.
Payments were reversed,contracts were gone and in one
day, literally one day, I wasout of business.
I couldn't make payroll, Icouldn't pay my taxes.

(03:44):
And that investor?
Well, he came after me hard.
He wanted his money back.
Well, the family dynamic thatonce felt secure was shattered.
We've never really been thesame.
We've come a long way, but it'snot the same.
But it's not the same.
I was devastated y'all.

(04:07):
So I did what I knew to do I ran.
I ran into a whole entire newcareer in youth ministry.
I served, I helped others healand in doing so I began to heal.
It took almost 10 years torecover financially, but I did

(04:27):
slowly, one step at a time.
I forgave, I rebuilt and todayI run a quiet, steady business.
It's not flashy, but it fundsmy writing and fuels my speaking
and I'm proud of it.
And here's what I know now thatfailure was my teacher.

(04:51):
It didn't define me, itprepared me.
That is the plus one theory atits core Using the pain for
purpose and choosing to finishstronger.
You know, I watched a videoonce with a message that stuck
with me.
It talked about frustration,tolerance, this idea that real

(05:15):
learning only happens when wesit in the discomfort of not yet
knowing that awkward,frustrating in-between space.
That's where growth lives andit's messy, but that's the place
where resilience is born.
When Empower Plus One fell apart, I was stuck in that space for

(05:37):
a very long time.
I didn't know what was next.
I didn't feel capable and Ididn't trust myself to lead
again.
I felt like a failure, but Istayed in it.
I didn't run from thefrustration.
I let it teach me I didn't runfrom the frustration.
I let it teach me that space.
It's sacred, it's uncomfortable, but it's where we figure out

(06:02):
who we really are.
If you're there right now,between the breaking and the
becoming, hold on, you'relearning, you're building
resilience and it matters.
This is the part I'm so excitedto finally share with you.
It's something new, somethingpowerful, and it's changing

(06:27):
everything about the way I showup in the world.
It's a brand, a mindset and amessage called are you ready?
Drum roll, delay the binge.
And no, it's not about food.
It's not just about food.
It's about anything we use tonumb or escape overeating, over

(06:50):
drinking, over spending,overthinking, overworking, even
doom scrolling on our phones.
These are the things we turn towhen we're hurting or hiding,
when something deep inside of ussays I don't want to feel this
right now, so I need some kindof escape.

(07:12):
But here is the science when wedelay the urge to binge just by
a few minutes, we interrupt thebrain's pattern.
That pause, that's where yourpower is.
It gives you the space to askwhat's really going on here?
What am I trying to avoid?
What do I actually need?

(07:32):
What am I hiding from oravoiding?
It's rarely about the cookieyou're about to eat or the wine,
or the endless to-do list.
It's about pain, loneliness,fear or shame.
But when we delay, we reclaimchoice.

(07:55):
We move from autopilot toawareness.
Delay the binge is about givingyourself the gift of one moment
, one breath, one shift indirection.
That's it, that's the practice,that's the power.
And now it's part of everything.
I teach, everything, I writeeverything, I speak, because I

(08:20):
believe every person deserves tofeel whole, to face what hurts
and to rewrite the story.
One small, intentional delay ata time.
Before we wrap up today, I'vegot a little teaser for you.
Next week on the show, I'mbringing on a guest I've been so
excited to share with you.

(08:40):
His name is Robert Plank.
He's the host of Marketer ofthe Day and if you're in the
podcast world, you've probablyheard his name.
With over 1,200 episodes,robert is an absolute master of
storytelling strategy andfinding the gold in someone's
message.
He recently interviewed me andI was blown away by his ability

(09:06):
to ask questions that go beyondsurface-level marketing into the
real-life transformation.
And next week I get to flip themic and interview him.
We're going to talk consistency,failure, resilience and how to
turn your message into movement.
It's going to be full ofinsight, inspiration and

(09:30):
practical takeaways you can useright now.
You won't want to miss it rightnow.
You won't want to miss it.
Thanks for being here today.
I know this was a big one.
We talked about failure,frustration and facing what
hurts, but that's what thisspace is for real growth and

(09:51):
real conversations.
If you're in the messy, messymiddle right now, If you're in
the messy, messy middle rightnow, you're not alone.
You're exactly where your nextbreakthrough begins.
And remember this you don'thave to be perfect.
You just have to pause, breatheand take your next plus one

(10:12):
step.
I'm Pam Dwyer.
This is the Plus One Step.
I'm Pam Dwyer.
This is the Plus One Theorypodcast.
And you, my friend, you are theone delay away from reclaiming
your story.
Oh and, by the way, here's aquick disclaimer the content

(10:32):
shared on this podcast is foreducational and inspirational
purposes only and is notintended as a substitute for
professional medical, mentalhealth or nutritional advice.
Please consult a qualifiedprofessional regarding your
individual needs.
All right, now I'm leaving.
Thanks for listening.