We name the moment before a binge as quiet depletion and show how to interrupt it with three practical pauses that bring the frontal cortex back online. We share a gentle path forward, plus details on the Delay the Binge Collective and how to join quietly.
• defining quiet depletion and why it matters
• lower brain chatter versus higher brain choice
• naming feelings to reengage the frontal cortex
• the three pauses: name it, locate it, meet the need
• unmet needs beneath binge urges
• what the Delay the Binge Collective is and how it works
• anonymity, low-pressure participation, expert contributors
• why this method works better than diets or willpower
• identity restoration and nervous system alignment
• community updates and next steps
You can join at DelayTheBinge.com, and when you do, you'll get the Holiday Urge survival kit immediately!
So join us at DelayTheBinge.com and get your free holiday kit and be part of something new!
Visit Pam Dwyer online and sign up on her email list to receive the latest updates!
Episode Transcript
There's a moment before every binge where
(00:02):
something inside you disappears.
A moment where you no longerfeel like you.
A moment where your body screamsfor comfort.
This moment has a name.
I call it the Quiet Depletion.
And once you understand it,everything starts to make sense.
Welcome back to the Plus OneTheory Podcast.
(00:23):
And if you're new here, I am soglad you found your way to this
space.
I'm Pam Dwyer, your host,best-selling author, and creator
of Delay the Binge Method.
Today is a special episodebecause we're starting something
new.
Something gentle, powerful, anddeeply needed.
(00:45):
But before we dive in, I wantyou to hear me say this clearly.
You are not broken.
You're exhausted.
And your binging isn't afailure.
It's a signal.
This episode is dedicated tounderstanding that signal and
giving you tools to finallyinterrupt the cycle in a way
(01:07):
that is compassionate, simple,and doable.
Even if you've tried everythingelse.
So let's get started.
There's a moment before everybinge where something inside you
disappears.
A moment where you no longerfeel like you.
I mean a moment where your bodyscreams for comfort and your
(01:30):
brain shuts down its ability tothink clearly.
This moment has a name.
I call it the quiet depletion.
And once you understand it,everything starts to make sense.
Let's break this down.
So today's episode becomes afoundation.
Quiet depletion is that statewhere you've pushed past your
(01:54):
limits for so long that you stopfeeling your own needs.
It looks like emotionalnumbness, chronic exhaustion,
functioning on autopilot.
Just get through today mode anddisappearing inside yourself.
It's the long-term wear and tearon your nervous system.
(02:16):
I give it a simple name becauseyou can't heal what you can't
identify.
Quiet depletion is your soulrunning on fumes.
So you'll hear me talk a lotabout lower brain chatter.
This is the survival brain, thepart of your mind that reacts
(02:37):
instantly when you feeloverwhelmed.
It's fast, it's loud, it wantsrelief now.
It doesn't think, it reacts.
It's very short term.
This is the voice that says, eatit now.
You need it, you're stressed,you're anxious.
Buy it, scroll it, drink it, orI just want to escape.
(03:03):
It's the same system that fireswhen you touch something hot.
It's not logical, it'sprotective.
This is the higher brain.
So now let's talk about thefrontal cortex re-engagement.
This is the higher brain.
You know, it's the partresponsible for clear thinking,
language, speaking, rationaldecisions, long-term goals,
(03:27):
self-awareness.
Here's the neuroscience thatwill blow your mind.
Your lower brain does notcontrol speech.
Your frontal cortex does.
So when you speak an emotion outloud, even saying, I feel an
urge coming on, youautomatically pull the frontal
cortex back online.
(03:48):
This is why naming your feelingssoftens the urge.
It's not emotional, it'sneurological.
My approach is simple.
It's not a quick fix, it's not adiet, and it's not a discipline
program.
It's based on three pauses.
Pause number one is you gottaname it.
(04:09):
You gotta say out loud, I'mfeeling overwhelmed right now.
I feel empty inside.
This is an urge.
This is an unhealthy urge forme.
This brings the frontal cortexonline instantly.
Pause number two is you locateit.
Where is it in your body?
(04:29):
Is it in your chest, yourstomach, your throat?
This interrupts the survivalloop.
And pause number three, you meetthe need.
You ask yourself, what do Iactually need right now?
Rest, reassurance, comfort,support, stillness, connection.
Binges aren't about food.
(04:51):
They're about an unmet need.
So we learn all of this togetherin the delay the binge
collective.
And I notice that some peopledon't join right away.
I think they're hiding orthey're ashamed.
They think they should just fixit alone, and they fear being
exposed.
They don't want to talk aboutfeelings, and they're depleted
(05:14):
and have no energy for somethingdeep.
They don't know what thecollective actually is yet.
So let me make this safe andsimple.
You don't have to share, youdon't have to talk, and you
don't have to participate atall.
You can simply listen.
There's no sales funnel here, nopressure, just belonging to a
(05:38):
group of people struggling inthe same way you are.
We were originally planning tolaunch this months ago, but our
community wasn't quite ready.
So here's the update.
We are planning to launch theDelay the Binge Collective in
early January of the new year,2026.
Because January is the perfecttime to analyze, reset, restore,
(06:04):
breathe again.
We'll confirm the exact date assoon as enough people join the
wait list.
You can join at delay thebinge.com, and when you do,
you'll get the Holiday Urgesurvival kit immediately.
Totally free.
No gimmicks, no catch, justsupport.
(06:25):
The Delay the Binge Collectiveis like a weekly podcast style
experience with a guest who'sstruggling with the binge
pattern.
And I sit beside them, not as acoach, but as a guide, a
connector, a thinker, someonewho's been through the same
thing.
We explore the patterns, we findtheir pause, we uncover their
(06:49):
depletion, and we identify theirneeds and we circle back to see
how they're doing.
This is the impact of realpeople sharing real struggles.
This is inside the pause, realconnection with me at your side.
And yes, I need guests.
You can come on anonymously ifyou prefer.
(07:13):
And we will be inviting mentalhealth professionals, wellness
experts, nervous systemspecialists, bariatric
specialists, trauma-informedguests, nutrition support, and
there's emotional resilienceexperts.
So many, all sharingperspectives that help you
(07:33):
understand your urges in a waythat finally makes sense.
So why does this method workwhen others don't?
Well, diets focus on food.
Willpower focuses onself-punishment, and therapy is
a wonderful, wonderful thing todo.
But it's often about the past.
(07:55):
Delay the binge focuses on themoment.
The moment you are in, thepause, the need, the identity
restoration.
Habits change when your identitychanges.
This method is compassionate,simple, trauma aware, nervous
system aligned, and designed forpeople who are exhausted, not
(08:16):
broken.
You don't have to changeeverything.
You just have to pause longenough to come home to yourself
again.
I hope everyone's Thanksgivingwas filled with lots of plus one
moments.
My family gathered and we sharedfood, stories, and our goals for
2026.
(08:36):
Mine is to finally launch Delaythe Binge, and I can't wait for
everyone to learn from my ownexperiences and to share this
with anyone that needs it rightnow in their life.
Thank you for spending this timewith me today.
If anything in this episoderesonated with you, even a
little, I want you to knowsomething.
(08:57):
You're not failing, you're notweak, and you're not alone.
You're just tired.
And tired people don't needdiscipline.
They need a pause, they needdevotion.
So join us at delaythebench.com.
Get your free holiday kit and bepart of something new.
(09:17):
Something gentle, somethingpowerful.
Whether you participate, listenquietly, or volunteer as a
guest, you belong here.
We grow together, one pause, oneneed, one step at a time.
I'm Pam Dwyer, and this isInside the Pause.
I'll see you next week, andthanks for listening.
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