November 19, 2025 • 38 mins
We trace the real work of reinvention: why retiring at 62 made sense, how business and academia collide, and what it takes to merge two lives, two careers, and two homes while planning a custom build. The theme is fit over status, and compromise as a daily practice.
• reasons for leaving academia and shifting identity
• cultural shocks between university life and real estate
• new roles at home, cooking, cleaning, and time blocks
• right-sizing, downsizing, and hiring organizers
• giving furniture to a single mom rebuilding life
• expanding careers into speaking, travel, and wellness
• buying land, rural plans, and learning small-scale homesteading
• using AI to research ducks, chickens, and setup
• custom home design choices, budgets, and accessibility
• the Lord of the Rings wedding and the signature front door
• choosing a forever home that supports aging in place
• core takeaway: find what works and keep compromising
Join us here each week, my friend, where you're sure to get a smile from lessons learned to mishaps, the adventures going on for miles here on The Professor and Heather Anne
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
I just want to be with you.
I don't want to go take a tripsomewhere.
We did everything that I tell myclients not to do.
SPEAKER_03 (00:08):
It was like it was like planning a military
operation.
SPEAKER_00 (00:12):
Your next favorite podcast pick starts now.
Here's the Professor and HeatherAnne.
SPEAKER_03 (00:18):
Welcome to the Professor and Heather Anne.
Although we don't have all theanswers, we hope we can
encourage and excite you.
We're here sharing our lives toinspire you to make the most of
the second half of your life.
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
So what we're going to be talking about today is
retirement, transitions, rightsizing your life.
We had to, when we combined ourhouseholds, we had to right
size.
But one of the things that uh weI had to adjust to, I think you
(00:55):
had to adjust to, is you werealready retired when we first
met.
SPEAKER_03 (01:00):
I was retired and you were still and are still
working.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
I'm still working.
SPEAKER_03 (01:06):
So so I I decided, I I guess you could say I had the
good fortune to be able todecide to retire.
And I know that some people theyjust they can't, they have they
have to keep working long afterthey wish they didn't have to
work anymore.
But I retired at the age of 62.
And the reasons for that, so Iwas a professor at UCLA, and
(01:31):
there was a lot about academiain general and UCLA and the
department I was in inparticular that finally made me
realize that this just this wasnot the place for me anymore.
So a lot of this was thepolitical atmosphere.
One of my colleagues uh he madesome the research he'd done, he
(02:00):
uh made it available and sharedit with the with police
departments, so he's workingwith police departments, and to
many of my colleagues and gradstudents, this was unforgivable.
And they mounted what you couldbasically call a a mob attack
against him, and the rest of thedepartment just sort of you know
(02:20):
turned and looked the other way.
And so that was one that was, Iwould say, the last straw.
But there were a lot of thingsthat had been bothering me.
The um uh lowering of standards,so there were people being
admitted to our graduate programwho really just weren't
qualified for grad school.
There were a lot of, I guesswhat you could call
(02:42):
participation trophies, um uhpeople uh who were uh granted uh
granted degrees and othercredentials who who didn't
really merit them.
Uh then there was um the whathappened during the pandemic.
So UCLA was the campus wasclosed for almost two years.
(03:07):
So from March 2020 till yeah,February um 2022.
So we were teaching on Zoom anda lot of other schools had
already uh gone back toin-person teaching.
And then when we finally did getback to in-person teaching,
there was a large contingent ofstudents who were resisting
this.
They insisted that being beingrequired to come to class to
(03:29):
take an exam, because I haddiscovered uh that that giving
uh remote exams was was uh uh umcompletely completely
unfeasible.
The the uh uh basically any waythat you could configure them,
they were very vulnerable tocheating.
So so a lot of the students uhthought I was endangering their
(03:51):
health by requiring and youknow, you know, everyone the
vaccines were mandatory for allstudents and faculty.
They'd all been vaccinated.
Of course, almost all of themwere young, healthy people, but
there was about 20% of mystudents just went hysterical um
uh in insisting that I was I wasendangering their health.
So so it were those were some ofthe things that led me to um,
(04:16):
oh, and and and one more thing Ishould point out is that now, of
course, this was this was2021-2022 I'm talking about, but
what happened at UCLA after umthe October 7th attacks uh on
what happened on campus was itwas one of the worst schools in
the country.
There was an encampment, theyblocked walkways, wouldn't let
(04:39):
people pass unless they sworethat they weren't Zionists.
Some of my colleagues in mydepartment were uh reportedly uh
involved in the encampment.
Um and uh the there wasextensive vandalism to Royce
Hall, which is a it's an almost100-year-old building, which is
(04:59):
sort of emblematic of UCLA.
Like it's it's it's the theshape of the building is
featured in the logo, and it washeavily graffitied.
And none of this surprised me.
So I had I had left more than ayear before, but I could see it
was it was headed in a directionthat made all that, all those
events like perfectly, perfectlyexpectable.
SPEAKER_01 (05:18):
But it did surprise me.
So somebody who did not completecollege, I I believe the
American dream still is sendyour kids to college, they're
going to get a degree, they'regoing to go out in the world and
change the world.
But one of the things we had tolearn with each other was I am
(05:44):
in the business world and havebeen for 40 years, you've been
in academia for that along.
And I was really just surprisedthe difference between our
worlds.
I thought I had this image in myhead that professors sat around
with their drink and drinkingsherry.
(06:05):
Yes, and they had patches ontheir uh coats, and I was very
disappointed that you didn'thave patches on your coats or
your sweaters.
And I I just was reallysurprised that this was
happening, especially I grew upin California, so UCLA and USC
is very revered schools.
(06:26):
These are the schools you wantedto go to when you lived in
California.
So the reasons for you retiringwere very uh shocking to me that
this was what our academic worldhas come to.
And just being a part of theacademic world now has just
(06:50):
really changed my mindset.
And that needs to be a wholenother episode just about that.
But with the change with mebeing shocked about how
different our worlds were, whatwas it like for you to all of a
sudden be thrown into thebusiness world and my business?
SPEAKER_03 (07:12):
And one of the most shocking things was the time,
the sense, the whole sense oftime and deadlines.
So in in the academic world, adeadline is something that might
be months away.
Okay, you know, we're expectingyour you know, your revision of
this paper or your review ofsomeone else's manuscript, we're
(07:33):
expecting it um in in February.
Um, and then I discovered thatin the real estate business,
it's this this thing that needsto be done is expected in one
hour.
Uh and so uh and so there weretimes when, and this took some
getting used to when you know wehad planned something together
and then it it it didn't itcouldn't happen because uh uh
(07:55):
because uh something came up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:57):
So I'm a mortgage lender, and people just do not
buy houses between nine andfive.
So my job is not a nine to fivejob, it is the evenings, it is
the weekends.
A lot of times we'll be tryingto get out the door or do
something, but I have to take acall, I have to get somebody
approved, I have to get anapproval letter out.
(08:18):
But also on top of that, it'sall these events and networking
and different things that I haveto do as well.
And one of the things that Idon't think we talk about enough
is we I basically changed yourwardrobe when we started dating.
(08:39):
Because in the business world,there's expectations, you had to
wear suits for certain things,you had to be dressed a certain
way, which I think was shockingto you as well, because we had
talked about it before.
You hadn't been in a world whereyour wife has to put on her hair
and do her hair and put on hermakeup and put dresses on and do
(09:01):
all of that stuff.
So it was it was our worldscould not be any different than
what they were.
SPEAKER_03 (09:08):
So she let me keep my sweater vests, which were I
considered part of part of myprofessor outfit.
SPEAKER_01 (09:16):
But I hardly I like the sweater vests.
unknown (09:18):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (09:18):
But it still seems like it's very unusual that I
actually give me permission towear them.
They're in the closet still.
Most of my most of my wardrobe,yes, has it's gone.
SPEAKER_01 (09:26):
It's uh you only have a few things left.
But you look really good insuits.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
Oh, well.
You like wearing the suits now.
SPEAKER_01 (09:35):
I like wearing the suits, but you choose the suits
for me, so so we one of thethings we had that we had to
learn about was that there aredays that I could leave the
house at nine o'clock and notcome home until nine o'clock
(09:55):
because I'm doing events, I'mvisiting, I'm you know, whatever
is needed, which is anotherthing that you weren't used to.
So how I don't know if we reallynecessarily talked about how we
would combine these.
SPEAKER_03 (10:12):
You know, you know, we we didn't.
SPEAKER_01 (10:13):
I think we just settled into something that
works for us.
SPEAKER_03 (10:18):
So would you say that I'm basically a house
husband?
SPEAKER_01 (10:21):
You are a house husband.
Ladies, he does all the cookingfor all of our meals, and I am
very thankful for that becauseafter almost 30 years of always
being the cook, it's very nice.
And he is a great cook.
SPEAKER_02 (10:36):
Oh, thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (10:37):
And it's been very nice, and he cleans up the
kitchen and stuff, but I I thinkwe just I don't think we really
it was not something.
I think we just fell into this.
I am more particular aboutcleaning and how things are
done.
And that comes from my childhoodbecause I was forced into child
(10:58):
labor.
No, it wasn't that, it was notthat bad.
But I was forced to, you know, Ihad to learn things as a child.
I had to learn how to make thecorners on the bed.
I if something wasn't cleanproperly, even at five years
old, I had to go back and cleanit again.
So I am more particular abouthow I like the house to be
(11:22):
clean.
So I do a lot more of thecleaning, the dirty jobs.
I call them the dirty jobs.
I do more of the dirty jobs.
SPEAKER_03 (11:29):
I think I do sort of the superficial cleaning, and
then when like there's seriouscleaning, that's for you to do.
SPEAKER_01 (11:35):
So we but I don't, yeah, we don't we didn't really
discuss it.
We just fell into what works forus.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
So you mostly work from home.
SPEAKER_01 (11:47):
I do.
I have several days a week thatI'm out of the house because I
have to go make calls and dothings.
You're home more, but you're notjust sitting at home watching
TV.
You're in fact, you don't evenlike watching TV.
You still do research.
SPEAKER_03 (12:03):
So, yeah, so that's that's an important point is
that uh the research part ofbeing a professor is, and I
think almost all professorswould agree on this, that's fun.
Uh, and it's so much fun that uhthat you'll can continue doing
it even after even afterretirement.
In fact, it's kind of a joke,but it's one of those things
that's a joke, but it's notreally a joke that goes uh um,
(12:26):
well, now that I've retired, Ican finally get some work done.
SPEAKER_01 (12:30):
Because you get to do research, and you actually
have people call and ask you todo research with them.
You're you're doing severalresearch projects now.
SPEAKER_03 (12:39):
I have yeah, I have collaborations.
Uh I'm I've been asked to be on,and I've served on on graduate
students' committees uh as anexternal member.
There's uh a lab group atOklahoma State that I still uh
so when I first moved from LosAngeles to Stillwater, I would
(13:01):
attend that group in person.
Now I attend it on Zoom, butit's it it's a kind of it's an
academic community for me.
SPEAKER_01 (13:08):
So and then you go to several conferences a year.
So there's so you're stillinvolved even though you're
retired, but you have you playthe recorder, you read a lot.
So and you he ladies literallyhe cooks about all of our meals,
(13:28):
like breakfast, lunch, dinner,and even makes like my protein
balls for me.
SPEAKER_03 (13:34):
And yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
So a lot of time is spent just feeding us.
SPEAKER_03 (13:40):
Yeah, well, I do all the grocery shopping.
SPEAKER_01 (13:41):
And you do all the grocery shopping.
And it's a good thing that hefeeds us, because if he didn't,
I wouldn't eat, basically.
SPEAKER_03 (13:49):
So you have trouble sticking to a three-meal-a-day
schedule or even a two-meal-aday schedule.
SPEAKER_01 (13:55):
Sometimes going because I get so involved and I
just don't think about eating,so um one of the things that was
hard um and I don't think a lotof people talk about is
(14:15):
combining the households.
So when we uh we got engaged, anopportunity came up to go ahead
and uh buy a house even beforewe got married.
We decided to go ahead and buythe house, partly because I was
(14:36):
doing part-time in Stillwater,part-time in Tulsa.
It was affecting my business andI needed to be more uh in Tulsa
all the time.
So it was decided Stillwater wasnever an option for me to move
to, but we decided that yes,we're gonna move here.
We wound up buying a house,moving in.
(14:57):
My great organization skillscame into play.
SPEAKER_03 (15:02):
It was like it was like planning a military
operation.
SPEAKER_01 (15:06):
Because we had three moving trucks, we had the truck
from Stillwater, we had thetruck from where I was, and then
a lot of my stuff was instorage.
So we I had to coordinate allthree of those trucks, then we
bought furniture of uh becausewe both uh I I went ahead and
(15:29):
got rid of some of my furniture.
SPEAKER_03 (15:32):
I made you get rid of so I had moved from Los
Angeles to Stillwater with withnot one stick of furniture.
And in Stillwater, I bought awhole house, house full of
furniture, and uh with anemphasis on antiques.
So I had this got this boughtthis antique um bed and uh and
uh dining room set.
(15:53):
And but then yes, when we whenwe moved in together, uh so only
enough space for you know onehouse full of furniture, and so
yes, my um almost all myfurniture was gotten rid of.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
We kept some of mine, and we did keep some of
yours, but we also got newfurniture that was ours to make
it more of it's our housetogether.
SPEAKER_03 (16:18):
I think this was important psychologically, like
you know, so neither of us feltlike we were moving into the
other one's house.
Instead, we felt like this isour house.
SPEAKER_01 (16:27):
This is our house, and we needed to make it our
house, and we did everythingthat I tell my clients not to
do.
We signed the contract and weimmediately went and bought
furniture.
And I'm we're standing at thefurniture store and we're
trying, we're like, we've onlybeen in this house a little, but
(16:48):
we haven't even been in thishouse, we've only been in it a
few times when we were lookingat it to buy it, but we're gonna
buy furniture for this house.
And I'm standing there going,we're not supposed to be doing
this.
What I tell my clients all thetime, you do not buy furniture,
do not buy new cars, do not doanything when you're purchasing
a home.
But there we were.
Um, but it were it worked forus.
(17:12):
It also worked, not going tolie.
I had help.
I hired we hired people to comein, as um organizers to come in
and help.
Because the biggest problem wehave is both of us downsized.
So the house that I had andsold, I had downsized.
Your house was bigger and stillwater than this house is.
(17:34):
So we had to make everythingfit.
SPEAKER_02 (17:37):
Well, for a few weeks, the garage was was like a
warehouse, a warehouse, adiscount.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
But they were amazing on everything that we
had two of.
They helped organize and put putour kitchen together and closet
together.
But I do want to say that so formy furniture, I think I just
kind of gave it away, which wasfine for your furniture.
Uh, because we had to bring thatfrom Stillwater.
(18:09):
Right.
Because we didn't have the timeor be able to sell your house
your furniture and still water.
Um, we went ahead and broughtall your furniture, so we
brought your whole house, alleverything.
SPEAKER_03 (18:20):
And and gave away so most of my furniture we gave to
someone in in need.
SPEAKER_01 (18:30):
We a single mom who had gotten out of a domestic
violence situation.
We were able to give that away.
And I I cannot stress enough howthat was amazing because that I
do a lot in domestic violenceawareness.
I talk about my childhood, talkabout the trauma for my family,
(18:54):
and I have been very fortunateto be able to help several
single moms who got out of thatsituation become homeowners and
restart their life.
So being able to do that um wasreally amazing.
And you didn't even, when Iasked you, this is what my idea
is, you didn't even, you werejust like, Yes, no, this could
do it.
SPEAKER_03 (19:14):
This totally felt like the right thing to do.
SPEAKER_01 (19:18):
Um that's been part of our transitioning is really
supporting each other, andyou've been very supportive.
I'm have several businesses.
SPEAKER_03 (19:30):
So, yeah, well, yeah, one talk about talk about
how your work world is ischanging.
SPEAKER_01 (19:39):
So, in a few years, it's quite quite, you know,
several years away, but I'vebeen fortunate enough to be in
the real estate business for 40years, almost 40 years, and
almost 30 of that is mortgages.
And it's just the it's beenopportunity since we've been
(20:01):
together to be able totransition into that and be able
to, you know, I uh do I dospeaking, I talk about hope and
how hope can change your life.
I talk about domestic violenceand child abuse and different
all different types of uhgenres, and then I decided why
(20:27):
not become a travel agent?
Because we travel a lot and whynot make money on us traveling
and then do stuff in the health,uh, health and wellness stuff as
well.
And you've just been verysupportive in that, and it's
been amazing.
(20:47):
So but also I think what's beenamazing is that you just come
along.
You've you have been thrown,like I was thrown into the
academic world, you've beenthrown into the business world.
SPEAKER_03 (21:01):
I do things like sometimes she'll be having an
event that involves feeding,yeah, feeding people, yeah,
feeding a bunch of real estateagents.
And so sometimes it's my job tolike uh go to the restaurant
where and pick up all the foodand deliver it to the event.
Um so and there have been therehave been these uh you know very
(21:26):
formal events of theseassociations uh that you've
attended and brought me along.
So black black tie, yeah.
As a professor, I'd never beento a black tie event.
SPEAKER_01 (21:40):
But uh so a couple of we've been in our house now
two years, exactly two years.
And another transition that'shappening for us is an
opportunity came up and webought some land, and now we're
building a house because we'renot doing enough in our lives.
(22:01):
So we thought, why not build acustom home?
And so that's a been a bigtransition for us as well.
SPEAKER_03 (22:12):
Yeah, we'll we'll have an entire episode just
about this uh at some point.
Uh but uh yes, we are we'releaving suburbia for to live in
a rural area.
SPEAKER_01 (22:24):
And we plan on growing things, we plan on
having some chickens anddifferent things.
Um so heading more towardsretirement for me, again, that's
still a few years away, butgetting prepared for what that's
going to be because I've it andagain, it's a little scary for
(22:50):
me because I have this is I'vebeen very fortunate to be in
this career my whole adult life,and it and I've been very
fortunate with the amazingpeople I've met in this
business, the amazing peopleI've been able to help.
Not only do I help single moms,which is one of my biggest
passion and becoming homeowners,but I've been fortunate enough
(23:13):
to help celebrities andprofessional athletes.
Um, I've been able to take a lotof clients and become friends.
So it is a little scary for meto transition that way.
SPEAKER_03 (23:28):
It feels like stepping into the unknown.
SPEAKER_01 (23:32):
It is a little, it's very it's quite a bit scary
actually.
But then there's times that I'mstill it's with you being
retired, it's hard to I don'tnecessarily want to work
someday.
I just want to be with you andwant to go take a trip
somewhere.
So it's gonna be a wholedifferent life.
(23:52):
Living on some land.
It's only an acre and a half,but it's ours, it's surrounded
by trees.
We'll be transitioning our lifeagain.
SPEAKER_03 (24:03):
So uh did you say recently you read somewhere
about you should introduce justwhen you're when you're doing
this, you should introduce justone kind of animal.
What was it per year?
SPEAKER_01 (24:14):
Oh yes, one one animal per year.
So it is not recommended as muchas I want to just go get some
chickens and ducks and goats.
And maybe what is it?
You want a donkey.
SPEAKER_03 (24:28):
I'm not entirely serious about that.
SPEAKER_01 (24:30):
But I think you seriously I think you I I think
you are serious about thedonkey, and you really want the
donkey.
And we're gonna name him Jose.
SPEAKER_03 (24:45):
But you know, uh and again, this is something I'm
sure we'll explore in futureepisodes, but the the uses of uh
artificial intelligence, and I'mpretty wary of it.
Um but one thing, one area whereI think is really helpful is
something like this, where westart from a position of almost
(25:08):
complete ignorance, right?
So, you know, I I know nothingabout raising chickens.
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
And I don't know anything about chickens either.
SPEAKER_03 (25:14):
And so that would, I think this is the sort of thing
where you could, I mean, you'dhave to, you know, check out the
answers you got, but um, youknow, you could ask, so here I
am, here I am, here's mylocation, here's my my longitude
and latitude, and um uh and sowhat you know what what what
breed of chicken would be best,and you know, just how do you
take care of them?
SPEAKER_01 (25:34):
Uh it's the sort of thing where and we were told
that ducks are easier to takecare of than chickens.
SPEAKER_03 (25:43):
In some ways.
SPEAKER_01 (25:44):
And in some ways, and I do like the idea of
getting duck eggs.
We've had them, they're amazing.
If you haven't tried duck eggs,you need to try them.
And I like the idea of ducksbecause my younger son is
allergic to chickens, to eggs,regular eggs.
SPEAKER_03 (26:02):
So, but yes, so you might be selling duck eggs from
from home.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (26:10):
That could be one of the little stand out in front,
and people come and bake somestuff.
I don't know why, but thatreally appeals to me, having the
little site, the little standand bait stuff, eggs, and yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (26:29):
It's where we're moving to, it's it's it's that
kind of place.
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
And who would have thought two people from
California go buy some land.
SPEAKER_03 (26:37):
Two people from cities in California.
SPEAKER_01 (26:39):
Cities in California.
We did not grow up on farms.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
No, I I didn't, you know, I I spent most of my
career studying monkeys, but asI have to admit, as a child, I
didn't like animals very much.
I'm not one of those people who,you know, oh, I always like
looking at the animals in thezoo, and then I grew up and
studied them.
That's not what happened.
Uh I was drawn into studyinganimals by theoretical
questions.
And then I and then I got tolike it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:05):
But but you are aware how much I love animals.
SPEAKER_03 (27:08):
Uh yes.
SPEAKER_01 (27:10):
That's gonna be very hard.
Cats and dogs and donkeys andthe miniature cows.
I showed you that video with thelittle miniature horse.
SPEAKER_03 (27:21):
Yes, the miniature horse, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (27:23):
So and the goats, especially the fainting goats.
It's going to uh be a lot offun.
But I do have to ask you,because we actually really
haven't talked about this much.
So we have designed a house,custom house for us.
(27:45):
How is that pro this is mybusiness, this is my world.
Um how has that process been?
We we have finalized with ourarchitect how the house is, the
elevation of the front, theback, the sides, the layout of
the house, the square footage,all of that.
(28:08):
How has that process been foryou?
SPEAKER_03 (28:11):
It it has been it has been remarkably rewarding.
It's been challenging at times,too, but the just as a kind of
creative, as a creativeendeavor, uh and so starting
with uh house plans just thatyou find on the internet, you
(28:34):
know, that other people haveused, and then sort of like
taking the best aspects ofdifferent plans and putting it
all together.
And then um and then dealingwith the practicalities and so
what things are gonna work, whatthings have to be changed, and
then the the of course thefinancial constraints.
(28:54):
So and this is something whichso I'm it's very it's it's very
reassuring to be involved to bedoing involved in this endeavor
with someone for whom this istheir business.
Uh so uh you know how how wellhow much is how much is this
going to cost?
And uh what you know what whatthings can be um can be can be
(29:17):
taken out.
And so and what yeah, what we'veended up with is is is I'm I'm
I'm very happy with it.
And so yeah, it was it was bothit was sort of both a creative
experience and a and a practicalpractical experience to and we
had a we have a wonderfularchitect too.
I guess we'll we'll maybe we'lltalk about that in another
(29:37):
episode.
Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:42):
But it's gone very well.
So again, it's all transition.
You know, we we transition fromdating to be engaged to be
married, you're retired, we'retrying to, you know, I'm still
very involved in business.
And now I'm starting some otherbusinesses and um even another
(30:05):
business endeavor that will uhcome about next year.
Um that we've already gonethrough quite a bit in the three
years that we've been together.
We travel well.
Not only did our first trip, butwe traveled to Europe for two
(30:27):
weeks.
And now we're building a firstwe b bought a house,
transitioned into that, nowwe're building a house.
These are all stressors thatnormal marriages, even long-term
marriage, it's hard because theydon't see the same idea.
I see it all the time in mybusiness where a lot of couples
will fight um about the housethat they want to buy or the
(30:50):
house they want to build.
SPEAKER_03 (30:51):
But it's we've been very lucky that it's actually I
I think I think it's it's beenvery good for our marriage that
we're doing all these new thingstogether.
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
It it is sort of because it's things that we'd
never had done before.
I'd been I've built housesbefore, but I'd never built a
custom home before.
So I, you know, had ownedseveral homes before, you had
only owned one home before.
So it it is, it feels like it'ssomething new that neither one
(31:24):
of us have gone through.
Um it's it's it's kind of alittle frustrating because when
I ask you about the, you know,like, do you like this elevation
or you like this elevation?
And you're like, looks the sameto me.
I don't know what the differenceis.
And I've had to be pointed.
Do you see this roof lineinstead of this one?
SPEAKER_03 (31:43):
I need a 3D model, I'll say.
I need the drone's eye view ofthis.
SPEAKER_01 (31:48):
To see if I really like it or not.
SPEAKER_03 (31:52):
But so but it has mostly been very very exciting.
Yeah, and so like the sense itgives us a sense that yes, we're
we're we've been on adventures,we have more adventures ahead of
us.
SPEAKER_01 (32:06):
I think that's the thing, is it's it's very
exciting to know that we have alot more adventures ahead of us.
And I really feel like whatevercomes our way, we we really have
connected um very differentlythan I was connected in my
(32:27):
previous marriage.
I just feel like we we don'tnecessarily talk about all the
different transitions that we'vebeen through, but we seem to
just figure out what works forus.
And I think that's the maintakeaway from this today is you
just have to find what works foryou and in your relationship and
(32:54):
be willing to compromise becauseI think when you're younger,
you're not willing to compromiseas much as you are so when
you're older.
SPEAKER_02 (33:07):
Should we talk about the door?
SPEAKER_01 (33:11):
Ladies, I knew I was really in love with this man.
I knew I was in love with himand I was gonna marry him, and
we bought a house.
But it really all started withlast year in the beginning of
24, we decided uh we had tostart planning for the wedding
because we knew we were gettingmarried in June.
(33:33):
Um, so I had to start planning.
Well, this is not my I'm anumbers person.
So planning a wedding was notout of my wheelhouse, scared me
to death.
I tried to convince him, let'sjust go get married on a beach
somewhere, have our kids there,family, you know, real close
(33:55):
family, close friends, but youreally wanted a transit uh
traditional wedding.
SPEAKER_03 (34:00):
Traditional wedding.
SPEAKER_01 (34:01):
So we start talking and everything, and I don't know
how it came about, but one dayyou said I wanted a Lord of the
Rings themed wedding.
And I was like, what?
What are you talking about?
So I started doing research, andI knew I really loved him
(34:21):
because I agreed to a Lord ofthe Rings wedding theme, and it
turned out fabulous, and and umall of our guests were just even
to this day, they just talkabout it, and it's so nice that
they just really enjoyedthemselves, and we really um had
a fabulous wedding.
SPEAKER_03 (34:42):
The people who did the decorations were they they
could see the vision and made itreal.
SPEAKER_01 (34:48):
Yes, they we were very fortunate and can never say
enough great things about them.
We actually had our archite ourlandscapers decorate our because
they came in and did our yardfor us, we loved what they
listened to us, and I was justjoking around one day, hey, you
should do our wedding, andthey're like, sure, because I
(35:10):
didn't want a lot of flowers.
We had a lot of plants, plantsthat people our guests can take,
right?
Plants that actually went intoour yard.
I wanted something that could bereused and not just thrown away,
and so that was very important.
But the whole point of thatstory is the door of this house
(35:30):
we're building.
SPEAKER_03 (35:31):
It's uh this company, they do these, make
these hand-carved wooden doors.
And uh there's a whole well,there's a lot of different
designs they'll do, but one ofthe one of the ones that they
that's like one of theirstandards is it's a door that's
based on the uh the gateway tothe mines of Moria, so the the
(35:54):
doors of Durin uh in Lord of theRings.
And you know, Heather is showingme these, you know, here's how
look at what this company cando.
And I look at it and I say,that's it.
I want that one.
And um it's uh it's rather it'srather pricey.
SPEAKER_01 (36:09):
And even though I am not, I I am a very avid reader,
I read a lot, read a lot ofdifferent genres and stuff, I
have not read, and I'm sorry tooffend anybody out there, I have
not read the Harry Potter books,and I have not read any Lord of
the Rings.
I've seen one Harry Potter bookbecause my older son loves Harry
(36:32):
Potter and Lord of the Rings,and you guys have the same, you
like the same stuff.
So uh, but we'll be talking moreabout that.
But it's uh the door.
SPEAKER_03 (36:45):
It's a it's like the centerpiece of the whole house.
The house is built around adoor.
SPEAKER_01 (36:49):
More of tr more of transitions and compromise, and
ladies, all the ladies out thereknowing that uh compromising to
have things in the house thatyou want that are going to make
you excited that this is ourhouse.
This is this is something we'rebuilding together.
unknown (37:10):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (37:12):
So hey, we're we have gosh, we've talked about
retirement, we've talked aboutthe transitions of transitioning
our lives together and in and umbringing them together, uh
merging two lives together,transitioning into our current
(37:33):
home, and then we'll be transittransitioning into our next
home.
So that making sure that we'reright sizing our lives.
Um, one of the reasons for thehouse is this is this is our
forever home.
SPEAKER_03 (37:46):
So we're not moving again.
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
We're not moving again.
We're making sure that we canage into this house.
We have so many excitingdiscussions coming up, including
guests.
We are lining up some gueststhat'll be coming on.
I'm really excited about that.
We can't wait to have you alongfor new episodes.
So join us here each week, myfriend, where you're sure to get
(38:10):
a smile from lessons learned tomishaps, the adventures going on
for miles here on The Professorand Heather Anne.
SPEAKER_00 (38:23):
Thank you for listening to The Professor and
Heather Anne.
I just want to be with you.
I don't want to go take a tripsomewhere.
We did everything that I tell myclients not to do.
SPEAKER_03 (00:08):
It was like it was like planning a military
operation.
SPEAKER_00 (00:12):
Your next favorite podcast pick starts now.
Here's the Professor and HeatherAnne.
SPEAKER_03 (00:18):
Welcome to the Professor and Heather Anne.
Although we don't have all theanswers, we hope we can
encourage and excite you.
We're here sharing our lives toinspire you to make the most of
the second half of your life.
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
So what we're going to be talking about today is
retirement, transitions, rightsizing your life.
We had to, when we combined ourhouseholds, we had to right
size.
But one of the things that uh weI had to adjust to, I think you
(00:55):
had to adjust to, is you werealready retired when we first
met.
SPEAKER_03 (01:00):
I was retired and you were still and are still
working.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
I'm still working.
SPEAKER_03 (01:06):
So so I I decided, I I guess you could say I had the
good fortune to be able todecide to retire.
And I know that some people theyjust they can't, they have they
have to keep working long afterthey wish they didn't have to
work anymore.
But I retired at the age of 62.
And the reasons for that, so Iwas a professor at UCLA, and
(01:31):
there was a lot about academiain general and UCLA and the
department I was in inparticular that finally made me
realize that this just this wasnot the place for me anymore.
So a lot of this was thepolitical atmosphere.
One of my colleagues uh he madesome the research he'd done, he
(02:00):
uh made it available and sharedit with the with police
departments, so he's workingwith police departments, and to
many of my colleagues and gradstudents, this was unforgivable.
And they mounted what you couldbasically call a a mob attack
against him, and the rest of thedepartment just sort of you know
(02:20):
turned and looked the other way.
And so that was one that was, Iwould say, the last straw.
But there were a lot of thingsthat had been bothering me.
The um uh lowering of standards,so there were people being
admitted to our graduate programwho really just weren't
qualified for grad school.
There were a lot of, I guesswhat you could call
(02:42):
participation trophies, um uhpeople uh who were uh granted uh
granted degrees and othercredentials who who didn't
really merit them.
Uh then there was um the whathappened during the pandemic.
So UCLA was the campus wasclosed for almost two years.
(03:07):
So from March 2020 till yeah,February um 2022.
So we were teaching on Zoom anda lot of other schools had
already uh gone back toin-person teaching.
And then when we finally did getback to in-person teaching,
there was a large contingent ofstudents who were resisting
this.
They insisted that being beingrequired to come to class to
(03:29):
take an exam, because I haddiscovered uh that that giving
uh remote exams was was uh uh umcompletely completely
unfeasible.
The the uh uh basically any waythat you could configure them,
they were very vulnerable tocheating.
So so a lot of the students uhthought I was endangering their
(03:51):
health by requiring and youknow, you know, everyone the
vaccines were mandatory for allstudents and faculty.
They'd all been vaccinated.
Of course, almost all of themwere young, healthy people, but
there was about 20% of mystudents just went hysterical um
uh in insisting that I was I wasendangering their health.
So so it were those were some ofthe things that led me to um,
(04:16):
oh, and and and one more thing Ishould point out is that now, of
course, this was this was2021-2022 I'm talking about, but
what happened at UCLA after umthe October 7th attacks uh on
what happened on campus was itwas one of the worst schools in
the country.
There was an encampment, theyblocked walkways, wouldn't let
(04:39):
people pass unless they sworethat they weren't Zionists.
Some of my colleagues in mydepartment were uh reportedly uh
involved in the encampment.
Um and uh the there wasextensive vandalism to Royce
Hall, which is a it's an almost100-year-old building, which is
(04:59):
sort of emblematic of UCLA.
Like it's it's it's the theshape of the building is
featured in the logo, and it washeavily graffitied.
And none of this surprised me.
So I had I had left more than ayear before, but I could see it
was it was headed in a directionthat made all that, all those
events like perfectly, perfectlyexpectable.
SPEAKER_01 (05:18):
But it did surprise me.
So somebody who did not completecollege, I I believe the
American dream still is sendyour kids to college, they're
going to get a degree, they'regoing to go out in the world and
change the world.
But one of the things we had tolearn with each other was I am
(05:44):
in the business world and havebeen for 40 years, you've been
in academia for that along.
And I was really just surprisedthe difference between our
worlds.
I thought I had this image in myhead that professors sat around
with their drink and drinkingsherry.
(06:05):
Yes, and they had patches ontheir uh coats, and I was very
disappointed that you didn'thave patches on your coats or
your sweaters.
And I I just was reallysurprised that this was
happening, especially I grew upin California, so UCLA and USC
is very revered schools.
(06:26):
These are the schools you wantedto go to when you lived in
California.
So the reasons for you retiringwere very uh shocking to me that
this was what our academic worldhas come to.
And just being a part of theacademic world now has just
(06:50):
really changed my mindset.
And that needs to be a wholenother episode just about that.
But with the change with mebeing shocked about how
different our worlds were, whatwas it like for you to all of a
sudden be thrown into thebusiness world and my business?
SPEAKER_03 (07:12):
And one of the most shocking things was the time,
the sense, the whole sense oftime and deadlines.
So in in the academic world, adeadline is something that might
be months away.
Okay, you know, we're expectingyour you know, your revision of
this paper or your review ofsomeone else's manuscript, we're
(07:33):
expecting it um in in February.
Um, and then I discovered thatin the real estate business,
it's this this thing that needsto be done is expected in one
hour.
Uh and so uh and so there weretimes when, and this took some
getting used to when you know wehad planned something together
and then it it it didn't itcouldn't happen because uh uh
(07:55):
because uh something came up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:57):
So I'm a mortgage lender, and people just do not
buy houses between nine andfive.
So my job is not a nine to fivejob, it is the evenings, it is
the weekends.
A lot of times we'll be tryingto get out the door or do
something, but I have to take acall, I have to get somebody
approved, I have to get anapproval letter out.
(08:18):
But also on top of that, it'sall these events and networking
and different things that I haveto do as well.
And one of the things that Idon't think we talk about enough
is we I basically changed yourwardrobe when we started dating.
(08:39):
Because in the business world,there's expectations, you had to
wear suits for certain things,you had to be dressed a certain
way, which I think was shockingto you as well, because we had
talked about it before.
You hadn't been in a world whereyour wife has to put on her hair
and do her hair and put on hermakeup and put dresses on and do
(09:01):
all of that stuff.
So it was it was our worldscould not be any different than
what they were.
SPEAKER_03 (09:08):
So she let me keep my sweater vests, which were I
considered part of part of myprofessor outfit.
SPEAKER_01 (09:16):
But I hardly I like the sweater vests.
unknown (09:18):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (09:18):
But it still seems like it's very unusual that I
actually give me permission towear them.
They're in the closet still.
Most of my most of my wardrobe,yes, has it's gone.
SPEAKER_01 (09:26):
It's uh you only have a few things left.
But you look really good insuits.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
Oh, well.
You like wearing the suits now.
SPEAKER_01 (09:35):
I like wearing the suits, but you choose the suits
for me, so so we one of thethings we had that we had to
learn about was that there aredays that I could leave the
house at nine o'clock and notcome home until nine o'clock
(09:55):
because I'm doing events, I'mvisiting, I'm you know, whatever
is needed, which is anotherthing that you weren't used to.
So how I don't know if we reallynecessarily talked about how we
would combine these.
SPEAKER_03 (10:12):
You know, you know, we we didn't.
SPEAKER_01 (10:13):
I think we just settled into something that
works for us.
SPEAKER_03 (10:18):
So would you say that I'm basically a house
husband?
SPEAKER_01 (10:21):
You are a house husband.
Ladies, he does all the cookingfor all of our meals, and I am
very thankful for that becauseafter almost 30 years of always
being the cook, it's very nice.
And he is a great cook.
SPEAKER_02 (10:36):
Oh, thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (10:37):
And it's been very nice, and he cleans up the
kitchen and stuff, but I I thinkwe just I don't think we really
it was not something.
I think we just fell into this.
I am more particular aboutcleaning and how things are
done.
And that comes from my childhoodbecause I was forced into child
(10:58):
labor.
No, it wasn't that, it was notthat bad.
But I was forced to, you know, Ihad to learn things as a child.
I had to learn how to make thecorners on the bed.
I if something wasn't cleanproperly, even at five years
old, I had to go back and cleanit again.
So I am more particular abouthow I like the house to be
(11:22):
clean.
So I do a lot more of thecleaning, the dirty jobs.
I call them the dirty jobs.
I do more of the dirty jobs.
SPEAKER_03 (11:29):
I think I do sort of the superficial cleaning, and
then when like there's seriouscleaning, that's for you to do.
SPEAKER_01 (11:35):
So we but I don't, yeah, we don't we didn't really
discuss it.
We just fell into what works forus.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
So you mostly work from home.
SPEAKER_01 (11:47):
I do.
I have several days a week thatI'm out of the house because I
have to go make calls and dothings.
You're home more, but you're notjust sitting at home watching
TV.
You're in fact, you don't evenlike watching TV.
You still do research.
SPEAKER_03 (12:03):
So, yeah, so that's that's an important point is
that uh the research part ofbeing a professor is, and I
think almost all professorswould agree on this, that's fun.
Uh, and it's so much fun that uhthat you'll can continue doing
it even after even afterretirement.
In fact, it's kind of a joke,but it's one of those things
that's a joke, but it's notreally a joke that goes uh um,
(12:26):
well, now that I've retired, Ican finally get some work done.
SPEAKER_01 (12:30):
Because you get to do research, and you actually
have people call and ask you todo research with them.
You're you're doing severalresearch projects now.
SPEAKER_03 (12:39):
I have yeah, I have collaborations.
Uh I'm I've been asked to be on,and I've served on on graduate
students' committees uh as anexternal member.
There's uh a lab group atOklahoma State that I still uh
so when I first moved from LosAngeles to Stillwater, I would
(13:01):
attend that group in person.
Now I attend it on Zoom, butit's it it's a kind of it's an
academic community for me.
SPEAKER_01 (13:08):
So and then you go to several conferences a year.
So there's so you're stillinvolved even though you're
retired, but you have you playthe recorder, you read a lot.
So and you he ladies literallyhe cooks about all of our meals,
(13:28):
like breakfast, lunch, dinner,and even makes like my protein
balls for me.
SPEAKER_03 (13:34):
And yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
So a lot of time is spent just feeding us.
SPEAKER_03 (13:40):
Yeah, well, I do all the grocery shopping.
SPEAKER_01 (13:41):
And you do all the grocery shopping.
And it's a good thing that hefeeds us, because if he didn't,
I wouldn't eat, basically.
SPEAKER_03 (13:49):
So you have trouble sticking to a three-meal-a-day
schedule or even a two-meal-aday schedule.
SPEAKER_01 (13:55):
Sometimes going because I get so involved and I
just don't think about eating,so um one of the things that was
hard um and I don't think a lotof people talk about is
(14:15):
combining the households.
So when we uh we got engaged, anopportunity came up to go ahead
and uh buy a house even beforewe got married.
We decided to go ahead and buythe house, partly because I was
(14:36):
doing part-time in Stillwater,part-time in Tulsa.
It was affecting my business andI needed to be more uh in Tulsa
all the time.
So it was decided Stillwater wasnever an option for me to move
to, but we decided that yes,we're gonna move here.
We wound up buying a house,moving in.
(14:57):
My great organization skillscame into play.
SPEAKER_03 (15:02):
It was like it was like planning a military
operation.
SPEAKER_01 (15:06):
Because we had three moving trucks, we had the truck
from Stillwater, we had thetruck from where I was, and then
a lot of my stuff was instorage.
So we I had to coordinate allthree of those trucks, then we
bought furniture of uh becausewe both uh I I went ahead and
(15:29):
got rid of some of my furniture.
SPEAKER_03 (15:32):
I made you get rid of so I had moved from Los
Angeles to Stillwater with withnot one stick of furniture.
And in Stillwater, I bought awhole house, house full of
furniture, and uh with anemphasis on antiques.
So I had this got this boughtthis antique um bed and uh and
uh dining room set.
(15:53):
And but then yes, when we whenwe moved in together, uh so only
enough space for you know onehouse full of furniture, and so
yes, my um almost all myfurniture was gotten rid of.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
We kept some of mine, and we did keep some of
yours, but we also got newfurniture that was ours to make
it more of it's our housetogether.
SPEAKER_03 (16:18):
I think this was important psychologically, like
you know, so neither of us feltlike we were moving into the
other one's house.
Instead, we felt like this isour house.
SPEAKER_01 (16:27):
This is our house, and we needed to make it our
house, and we did everythingthat I tell my clients not to
do.
We signed the contract and weimmediately went and bought
furniture.
And I'm we're standing at thefurniture store and we're
trying, we're like, we've onlybeen in this house a little, but
(16:48):
we haven't even been in thishouse, we've only been in it a
few times when we were lookingat it to buy it, but we're gonna
buy furniture for this house.
And I'm standing there going,we're not supposed to be doing
this.
What I tell my clients all thetime, you do not buy furniture,
do not buy new cars, do not doanything when you're purchasing
a home.
But there we were.
Um, but it were it worked forus.
(17:12):
It also worked, not going tolie.
I had help.
I hired we hired people to comein, as um organizers to come in
and help.
Because the biggest problem wehave is both of us downsized.
So the house that I had andsold, I had downsized.
Your house was bigger and stillwater than this house is.
(17:34):
So we had to make everythingfit.
SPEAKER_02 (17:37):
Well, for a few weeks, the garage was was like a
warehouse, a warehouse, adiscount.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
But they were amazing on everything that we
had two of.
They helped organize and put putour kitchen together and closet
together.
But I do want to say that so formy furniture, I think I just
kind of gave it away, which wasfine for your furniture.
Uh, because we had to bring thatfrom Stillwater.
(18:09):
Right.
Because we didn't have the timeor be able to sell your house
your furniture and still water.
Um, we went ahead and broughtall your furniture, so we
brought your whole house, alleverything.
SPEAKER_03 (18:20):
And and gave away so most of my furniture we gave to
someone in in need.
SPEAKER_01 (18:30):
We a single mom who had gotten out of a domestic
violence situation.
We were able to give that away.
And I I cannot stress enough howthat was amazing because that I
do a lot in domestic violenceawareness.
I talk about my childhood, talkabout the trauma for my family,
(18:54):
and I have been very fortunateto be able to help several
single moms who got out of thatsituation become homeowners and
restart their life.
So being able to do that um wasreally amazing.
And you didn't even, when Iasked you, this is what my idea
is, you didn't even, you werejust like, Yes, no, this could
do it.
SPEAKER_03 (19:14):
This totally felt like the right thing to do.
SPEAKER_01 (19:18):
Um that's been part of our transitioning is really
supporting each other, andyou've been very supportive.
I'm have several businesses.
SPEAKER_03 (19:30):
So, yeah, well, yeah, one talk about talk about
how your work world is ischanging.
SPEAKER_01 (19:39):
So, in a few years, it's quite quite, you know,
several years away, but I'vebeen fortunate enough to be in
the real estate business for 40years, almost 40 years, and
almost 30 of that is mortgages.
And it's just the it's beenopportunity since we've been
(20:01):
together to be able totransition into that and be able
to, you know, I uh do I dospeaking, I talk about hope and
how hope can change your life.
I talk about domestic violenceand child abuse and different
all different types of uhgenres, and then I decided why
(20:27):
not become a travel agent?
Because we travel a lot and whynot make money on us traveling
and then do stuff in the health,uh, health and wellness stuff as
well.
And you've just been verysupportive in that, and it's
been amazing.
(20:47):
So but also I think what's beenamazing is that you just come
along.
You've you have been thrown,like I was thrown into the
academic world, you've beenthrown into the business world.
SPEAKER_03 (21:01):
I do things like sometimes she'll be having an
event that involves feeding,yeah, feeding people, yeah,
feeding a bunch of real estateagents.
And so sometimes it's my job tolike uh go to the restaurant
where and pick up all the foodand deliver it to the event.
Um so and there have been therehave been these uh you know very
(21:26):
formal events of theseassociations uh that you've
attended and brought me along.
So black black tie, yeah.
As a professor, I'd never beento a black tie event.
SPEAKER_01 (21:40):
But uh so a couple of we've been in our house now
two years, exactly two years.
And another transition that'shappening for us is an
opportunity came up and webought some land, and now we're
building a house because we'renot doing enough in our lives.
(22:01):
So we thought, why not build acustom home?
And so that's a been a bigtransition for us as well.
SPEAKER_03 (22:12):
Yeah, we'll we'll have an entire episode just
about this uh at some point.
Uh but uh yes, we are we'releaving suburbia for to live in
a rural area.
SPEAKER_01 (22:24):
And we plan on growing things, we plan on
having some chickens anddifferent things.
Um so heading more towardsretirement for me, again, that's
still a few years away, butgetting prepared for what that's
going to be because I've it andagain, it's a little scary for
(22:50):
me because I have this is I'vebeen very fortunate to be in
this career my whole adult life,and it and I've been very
fortunate with the amazingpeople I've met in this
business, the amazing peopleI've been able to help.
Not only do I help single moms,which is one of my biggest
passion and becoming homeowners,but I've been fortunate enough
(23:13):
to help celebrities andprofessional athletes.
Um, I've been able to take a lotof clients and become friends.
So it is a little scary for meto transition that way.
SPEAKER_03 (23:28):
It feels like stepping into the unknown.
SPEAKER_01 (23:32):
It is a little, it's very it's quite a bit scary
actually.
But then there's times that I'mstill it's with you being
retired, it's hard to I don'tnecessarily want to work
someday.
I just want to be with you andwant to go take a trip
somewhere.
So it's gonna be a wholedifferent life.
(23:52):
Living on some land.
It's only an acre and a half,but it's ours, it's surrounded
by trees.
We'll be transitioning our lifeagain.
SPEAKER_03 (24:03):
So uh did you say recently you read somewhere
about you should introduce justwhen you're when you're doing
this, you should introduce justone kind of animal.
What was it per year?
SPEAKER_01 (24:14):
Oh yes, one one animal per year.
So it is not recommended as muchas I want to just go get some
chickens and ducks and goats.
And maybe what is it?
You want a donkey.
SPEAKER_03 (24:28):
I'm not entirely serious about that.
SPEAKER_01 (24:30):
But I think you seriously I think you I I think
you are serious about thedonkey, and you really want the
donkey.
And we're gonna name him Jose.
SPEAKER_03 (24:45):
But you know, uh and again, this is something I'm
sure we'll explore in futureepisodes, but the the uses of uh
artificial intelligence, and I'mpretty wary of it.
Um but one thing, one area whereI think is really helpful is
something like this, where westart from a position of almost
(25:08):
complete ignorance, right?
So, you know, I I know nothingabout raising chickens.
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
And I don't know anything about chickens either.
SPEAKER_03 (25:14):
And so that would, I think this is the sort of thing
where you could, I mean, you'dhave to, you know, check out the
answers you got, but um, youknow, you could ask, so here I
am, here I am, here's mylocation, here's my my longitude
and latitude, and um uh and sowhat you know what what what
breed of chicken would be best,and you know, just how do you
take care of them?
SPEAKER_01 (25:34):
Uh it's the sort of thing where and we were told
that ducks are easier to takecare of than chickens.
SPEAKER_03 (25:43):
In some ways.
SPEAKER_01 (25:44):
And in some ways, and I do like the idea of
getting duck eggs.
We've had them, they're amazing.
If you haven't tried duck eggs,you need to try them.
And I like the idea of ducksbecause my younger son is
allergic to chickens, to eggs,regular eggs.
SPEAKER_03 (26:02):
So, but yes, so you might be selling duck eggs from
from home.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (26:10):
That could be one of the little stand out in front,
and people come and bake somestuff.
I don't know why, but thatreally appeals to me, having the
little site, the little standand bait stuff, eggs, and yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (26:29):
It's where we're moving to, it's it's it's that
kind of place.
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
And who would have thought two people from
California go buy some land.
SPEAKER_03 (26:37):
Two people from cities in California.
SPEAKER_01 (26:39):
Cities in California.
We did not grow up on farms.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
No, I I didn't, you know, I I spent most of my
career studying monkeys, but asI have to admit, as a child, I
didn't like animals very much.
I'm not one of those people who,you know, oh, I always like
looking at the animals in thezoo, and then I grew up and
studied them.
That's not what happened.
Uh I was drawn into studyinganimals by theoretical
questions.
And then I and then I got tolike it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:05):
But but you are aware how much I love animals.
SPEAKER_03 (27:08):
Uh yes.
SPEAKER_01 (27:10):
That's gonna be very hard.
Cats and dogs and donkeys andthe miniature cows.
I showed you that video with thelittle miniature horse.
SPEAKER_03 (27:21):
Yes, the miniature horse, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (27:23):
So and the goats, especially the fainting goats.
It's going to uh be a lot offun.
But I do have to ask you,because we actually really
haven't talked about this much.
So we have designed a house,custom house for us.
(27:45):
How is that pro this is mybusiness, this is my world.
Um how has that process been?
We we have finalized with ourarchitect how the house is, the
elevation of the front, theback, the sides, the layout of
the house, the square footage,all of that.
(28:08):
How has that process been foryou?
SPEAKER_03 (28:11):
It it has been it has been remarkably rewarding.
It's been challenging at times,too, but the just as a kind of
creative, as a creativeendeavor, uh and so starting
with uh house plans just thatyou find on the internet, you
(28:34):
know, that other people haveused, and then sort of like
taking the best aspects ofdifferent plans and putting it
all together.
And then um and then dealingwith the practicalities and so
what things are gonna work, whatthings have to be changed, and
then the the of course thefinancial constraints.
(28:54):
So and this is something whichso I'm it's very it's it's very
reassuring to be involved to bedoing involved in this endeavor
with someone for whom this istheir business.
Uh so uh you know how how wellhow much is how much is this
going to cost?
And uh what you know what whatthings can be um can be can be
(29:17):
taken out.
And so and what yeah, what we'veended up with is is is I'm I'm
I'm very happy with it.
And so yeah, it was it was bothit was sort of both a creative
experience and a and a practicalpractical experience to and we
had a we have a wonderfularchitect too.
I guess we'll we'll maybe we'lltalk about that in another
(29:37):
episode.
Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:42):
But it's gone very well.
So again, it's all transition.
You know, we we transition fromdating to be engaged to be
married, you're retired, we'retrying to, you know, I'm still
very involved in business.
And now I'm starting some otherbusinesses and um even another
(30:05):
business endeavor that will uhcome about next year.
Um that we've already gonethrough quite a bit in the three
years that we've been together.
We travel well.
Not only did our first trip, butwe traveled to Europe for two
(30:27):
weeks.
And now we're building a firstwe b bought a house,
transitioned into that, nowwe're building a house.
These are all stressors thatnormal marriages, even long-term
marriage, it's hard because theydon't see the same idea.
I see it all the time in mybusiness where a lot of couples
will fight um about the housethat they want to buy or the
(30:50):
house they want to build.
SPEAKER_03 (30:51):
But it's we've been very lucky that it's actually I
I think I think it's it's beenvery good for our marriage that
we're doing all these new thingstogether.
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
It it is sort of because it's things that we'd
never had done before.
I'd been I've built housesbefore, but I'd never built a
custom home before.
So I, you know, had ownedseveral homes before, you had
only owned one home before.
So it it is, it feels like it'ssomething new that neither one
(31:24):
of us have gone through.
Um it's it's it's kind of alittle frustrating because when
I ask you about the, you know,like, do you like this elevation
or you like this elevation?
And you're like, looks the sameto me.
I don't know what the differenceis.
And I've had to be pointed.
Do you see this roof lineinstead of this one?
SPEAKER_03 (31:43):
I need a 3D model, I'll say.
I need the drone's eye view ofthis.
SPEAKER_01 (31:48):
To see if I really like it or not.
SPEAKER_03 (31:52):
But so but it has mostly been very very exciting.
Yeah, and so like the sense itgives us a sense that yes, we're
we're we've been on adventures,we have more adventures ahead of
us.
SPEAKER_01 (32:06):
I think that's the thing, is it's it's very
exciting to know that we have alot more adventures ahead of us.
And I really feel like whatevercomes our way, we we really have
connected um very differentlythan I was connected in my
(32:27):
previous marriage.
I just feel like we we don'tnecessarily talk about all the
different transitions that we'vebeen through, but we seem to
just figure out what works forus.
And I think that's the maintakeaway from this today is you
just have to find what works foryou and in your relationship and
(32:54):
be willing to compromise becauseI think when you're younger,
you're not willing to compromiseas much as you are so when
you're older.
SPEAKER_02 (33:07):
Should we talk about the door?
SPEAKER_01 (33:11):
Ladies, I knew I was really in love with this man.
I knew I was in love with himand I was gonna marry him, and
we bought a house.
But it really all started withlast year in the beginning of
24, we decided uh we had tostart planning for the wedding
because we knew we were gettingmarried in June.
(33:33):
Um, so I had to start planning.
Well, this is not my I'm anumbers person.
So planning a wedding was notout of my wheelhouse, scared me
to death.
I tried to convince him, let'sjust go get married on a beach
somewhere, have our kids there,family, you know, real close
(33:55):
family, close friends, but youreally wanted a transit uh
traditional wedding.
SPEAKER_03 (34:00):
Traditional wedding.
SPEAKER_01 (34:01):
So we start talking and everything, and I don't know
how it came about, but one dayyou said I wanted a Lord of the
Rings themed wedding.
And I was like, what?
What are you talking about?
So I started doing research, andI knew I really loved him
(34:21):
because I agreed to a Lord ofthe Rings wedding theme, and it
turned out fabulous, and and umall of our guests were just even
to this day, they just talkabout it, and it's so nice that
they just really enjoyedthemselves, and we really um had
a fabulous wedding.
SPEAKER_03 (34:42):
The people who did the decorations were they they
could see the vision and made itreal.
SPEAKER_01 (34:48):
Yes, they we were very fortunate and can never say
enough great things about them.
We actually had our archite ourlandscapers decorate our because
they came in and did our yardfor us, we loved what they
listened to us, and I was justjoking around one day, hey, you
should do our wedding, andthey're like, sure, because I
(35:10):
didn't want a lot of flowers.
We had a lot of plants, plantsthat people our guests can take,
right?
Plants that actually went intoour yard.
I wanted something that could bereused and not just thrown away,
and so that was very important.
But the whole point of thatstory is the door of this house
(35:30):
we're building.
SPEAKER_03 (35:31):
It's uh this company, they do these, make
these hand-carved wooden doors.
And uh there's a whole well,there's a lot of different
designs they'll do, but one ofthe one of the ones that they
that's like one of theirstandards is it's a door that's
based on the uh the gateway tothe mines of Moria, so the the
(35:54):
doors of Durin uh in Lord of theRings.
And you know, Heather is showingme these, you know, here's how
look at what this company cando.
And I look at it and I say,that's it.
I want that one.
And um it's uh it's rather it'srather pricey.
SPEAKER_01 (36:09):
And even though I am not, I I am a very avid reader,
I read a lot, read a lot ofdifferent genres and stuff, I
have not read, and I'm sorry tooffend anybody out there, I have
not read the Harry Potter books,and I have not read any Lord of
the Rings.
I've seen one Harry Potter bookbecause my older son loves Harry
(36:32):
Potter and Lord of the Rings,and you guys have the same, you
like the same stuff.
So uh, but we'll be talking moreabout that.
But it's uh the door.
SPEAKER_03 (36:45):
It's a it's like the centerpiece of the whole house.
The house is built around adoor.
SPEAKER_01 (36:49):
More of tr more of transitions and compromise, and
ladies, all the ladies out thereknowing that uh compromising to
have things in the house thatyou want that are going to make
you excited that this is ourhouse.
This is this is something we'rebuilding together.
unknown (37:10):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (37:12):
So hey, we're we have gosh, we've talked about
retirement, we've talked aboutthe transitions of transitioning
our lives together and in and umbringing them together, uh
merging two lives together,transitioning into our current
(37:33):
home, and then we'll be transittransitioning into our next
home.
So that making sure that we'reright sizing our lives.
Um, one of the reasons for thehouse is this is this is our
forever home.
SPEAKER_03 (37:46):
So we're not moving again.
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
We're not moving again.
We're making sure that we canage into this house.
We have so many excitingdiscussions coming up, including
guests.
We are lining up some gueststhat'll be coming on.
I'm really excited about that.
We can't wait to have you alongfor new episodes.
So join us here each week, myfriend, where you're sure to get
(38:10):
a smile from lessons learned tomishaps, the adventures going on
for miles here on The Professorand Heather Anne.
SPEAKER_00 (38:23):
Thank you for listening to The Professor and
Heather Anne.
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