December 29, 2024 • 42 mins
This episode explores the transformative power of possibility at midlife, encouraging listeners to reconnect with their dreams and aspirations. Through personal experiences and the insights from several thought leaders, we'll talk about the importance of letting go of past mistakes, cultivating an empowered mindset, and daring to dream big.
• Reflecting on the new year as a blank slate
• Embracing the gift of possibility at any age
• Importance of letting go of past mistakes
• Overcoming difficulties in pursuing dreams
• Building dreams beyond current limitations
• Cultivating a powerful and positive mindset
• Allowing yourself to dream big and without judgment
• Significance of self-belief in pursuing new endeavors
As we head into 2025, let's do it embracing possibility in the broadest sense.
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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 212.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:20):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, friends.
I hope you had an amazing weekand I hope you had an amazing
(00:41):
Christmas.
Wherever you're celebrating, Ihope it was with family, friends
, loved ones, and I hope youspent the time doing the things
that you love.
So we are about to head into thestart of another year and I
wanted to do this week's episodeon possibility Because by the
(01:02):
time we get to mid career ormidlife, I think a lot of us
have settled in and when we lookat the start of a year, even if
we're excited about thepossibilities of a year and
things like that, a lot of uslimit ourselves to the things
that we've done in our past, tothe possibilities that look
(01:23):
possible from our current frameof reference, and we lose the
ability that I think a lot of ushad when we were just getting
out of college or just startingour career, where we were
looking ahead and we werethinking of our whole life as a
blank slate and that anythingwas possible.
We can give ourselves the giftof possibility.
(01:43):
We can give ourselves the giftof possibility broad possibility
at any stage of our life,because that is really a gift
when, no matter what our age is,we can look into our future and
think of it in the broadestpossible sense and believe that
anything is possible forourselves.
And it is so.
(02:05):
Enjoy this episode onpossibility.
Back when I was in school, Ialways loved September.
I loved the start of a newschool year, and now that I'm an
adult and not in school, I feelthe same way about January.
So this is a time when,honestly, if our life is a book,
(02:29):
the book is full of empty pagesand we get 365 pages to write
on.
And the reason I wanted to dothis today is because, on this
podcast, I focus on those of usin midlife and I define that as
the period of time between 40and 60 ish, and what I'm about
(02:54):
to say applies to everyone.
But there's a lot of thingsthat go on for us at midlife and
one of them is I feel like wetry to be realistic, and there's
nothing wrong with that.
I'm a practical Midwest girlmyself.
When it comes to creating thelife that we all dream of.
I think it's really importantto allow ourselves to dream
(03:19):
without talking ourselves out ofit.
So this podcast today is aboutpossibilities.
So I'm going to take youthrough six things that I want
you to keep in mind when youlook at the year ahead, and to
allow yourself to dream a littlebit and to look at the world,
(03:41):
maybe more like you did earlieron in your life, when we were in
school or just getting out ofschool and starting our career
and our adult life.
We all had to create the life,and so we allowed ourselves, I
think, at that stage of life, todream bigger, more fully, and
we didn't get mired down on whatwas realistic, because we were
(04:02):
just trying to figure out whatwe were capable of, you know.
So we had to throw ourselvesout there and go for it, but by
the time we've built our life,it's that societal checklist
that I've talked about severaltimes in the podcast, the one
that runs from zero to 40.
There's all these things thatwe need to go do in order to
(04:26):
build our life, and by the timewe get 40-ish, most of us, we
have a life.
Whether we're fully satisfiedwith it or not is a different
question.
We've got the life.
Usually, we've got the careerof some sort, we've got whatever
family we wanted, usually, andwe have our set of possessions
and our set of things, and we'vegot our life.
(04:48):
And that's the thing thathappens in midlife is that we
start to look at ourpossibilities from the construct
of where we are today, and sowhat I wanted to offer you today
was, just for the duration ofthis episode, allow yourself to
set all of that aside, all ofthe things you're telling
(05:09):
yourself about what you canactually realistically do now,
based on everything that'shappened to you, based on all
the decisions you've made, basedon where you are.
I want you to set all of thataside, and, as long as this
episode lasts, set all of thataside and as long as this
episode lasts, allow yourself todream a little bit and to look
(05:29):
at your world and your life andyour possibilities more like.
Maybe you looked at it 20 yearsago or 30 years ago.
I'm going to talk about sixthings that are important for
you to keep in mind, and I'mgoing to do it in a slightly
different way.
I'm going to do it through thefilter of inspirational quotes
(05:51):
and I'm going to pepper that inwith some perspectives that I
wanted to share, relateduniquely to midlife.
So I'm going to ground all ofthe six things in quotes.
I thought it'd be veryinspirational because you
wouldn't just be hearing aboutthe cognitive behavioral therapy
approach and the things that Itypically talk about.
You would be hearing from otherpeople, many of whom you will
(06:13):
recognize and just allowyourself to be inspired by these
high achievers and maybe thinkabout the ways that these things
could apply to your next 365days, because the future is
yours to do with as you wish.
(06:34):
So, with all of that said, let'sgo ahead and dive in, and I'm
going to start this by a quotefrom Dale Carnegie, who says we
all have possibilities we don'teven know about.
We can do things we don't evendream we can do.
And that's Dale Carnegie.
So I'm going to start it offthere and I want to go into the
(06:57):
first thing that I wanted totalk about, which I think could
apply to people at any age, butit's most notably present for
those of us over the age of 40.
Because by the time we get here, we've made some decisions and
we've experienced somedisappointments.
(07:18):
So if you're going to thinkabout your life as anything is
still possible for yourself,you're going to have to let go
of past mistakes.
So that's number one.
And I want to start this one bytalking about a quote from
someone named Sean Brady, and itsays there is always tension
(07:42):
between the possibilities weaspire to and our wounded
memories and past mistakes.
So I think that is true and Iguess what I want to say about
this one is I get it.
By the time we get to midlife,we have all had our share of ups
and downs, of highs and lows.
(08:04):
Some of them happened to us orwere served up to us that
weren't our choice, and some ofthem were decisions that we made
.
And I think sometimes that's atougher pill to swallow At least
it has been for me.
And what I want to say aboutthis one is, if you're holding
on to unfortunate things thathave happened and we all develop
(08:30):
stories around those things wemake, those unfortunate things
mean something about us, aboutour choices, about what is
possible for us, or we sometimesconstruct this really big story
about all of the unfortunatethings that have happened for us
, or we sometimes can constructthis really big story about all
of the unfortunate things thathave happened to us and we stay
(08:50):
grounded in that.
And when we stay grounded inthat, we are living in our past.
We are not living into thethings that we might want to
create for ourselves in thefuture.
So when I talk about letting goof past mistakes, it's really
important and it doesn't meanthat you have to let go of the
(09:12):
lessons that you learned fromthat, because those are very
valuable things.
But what I'm saying is don'ttalk yourself out of new,
exciting things Because you tellyourself that it is impossible
because of all the bad thingsthat have happened to you in
your life to date.
Life is always going to be aseries of highs and lows, a mix
(09:35):
of the things we want and thethings we don't want, and it's
super important to remindyourself as often as possible,
as often as is necessary whenyou're in midlife, to just let
it go, because if you don't,that is always going to take off
(09:55):
the table exciting newpossibilities that you could
create if you weren't so miredin the things that happened to
you in the past that maybebrought you to here, especially
if here is not a place that youwant to be.
So I know it's easier said thandone, but to some extent it is
(10:15):
just about forgiveness ofyourself, of others, and it's
about an acceptance that youmade the decisions you made or
the things that happened to you,and that, instead of focusing
on the wounds that thosedelivered, instead look for the
(10:37):
things that you learned, becausethat creates a bag of very
helpful tools that you can takeinto your future.
So I'm not saying forget aboutit all or pretend it didn't
happen, because that's notrealistic.
The stuff that happened in yourpast, both the things that you
decided to do and the thingsthat were delivered to you,
(10:58):
maybe in an unwelcoming way theyhappened and you just have to
accept it and stay very focusedon okay, but now what?
And don't live in those woundsevery day, because if you do, it
sucks your energy, it affectsyour mindset and you stop
(11:19):
looking at life as a series ofunscripted days that you get to
fill in ways that are meaningfulto you and instead we stay in
this steady hum of enduring ourlife instead of creating our
life.
So that is what I wanted totalk to you about in number one,
and I'm going to leave numberone with a quote from Carl Jung,
(11:43):
who says I am not what happenedto me.
I am what I choose to become.
That is very powerful.
So, number one let go of pastmistakes.
Number two is don't let thelevel of difficulty get in your
(12:04):
way when it comes topossibilities.
So I want to start this onewith a quote from Earl
Nightingale, who says never giveup on a dream just because of
the time it will take toaccomplish.
The time will pass anyway.
And for this one I want to sharea personal experience, and it's
(12:27):
a conversation that I had withmy mother back when I was in my
mid-twenties, and if you're newto the podcast, I'll go ahead
and share this briefly.
If you've been listening sincethe beginning or for a while,
you probably already know this.
But I have a very untraditionalpath.
I marched to my own drummer andI have pursued my life in a
(12:50):
nonlinear and very unexpectedway.
So for those who know my wholepath, I think almost every one
of them are very surprised bywhere I am today, and sometimes
I will say, when I stop and lookback on my own life, I'm like,
wow, like five-year-old Carlaeven 18-year-old Carla or
(13:13):
22-year-old Carla would beshocked at where I am now, but I
still do.
Look at it.
I haven't even really startedyet, but here's what I want to
say about this one level ofdifficulty, because I do think
this is something we tellourselves in midlife Ah, this is
going to take too long, this isgoing to be way too hard, it's
(13:34):
going to take too long and toomuch effort, and I have too much
life going on to allow me totackle that.
I want to talk about somethingthat happened for me way back
when I was always a good student, but I never.
I hate to say it now, but it'svery true.
I never really applied myself.
(13:54):
I got A's and B's, like mostlyB's, some A's, and I never
studied.
I was far more interested inschool, in cheerleading and my
extracurricular activities.
I was very involved in thingsand I always wanted to do well
in school.
I never cracked the booksbecause there was too much life
(14:15):
happening and there was too muchgoing on.
And I think, coupled with that,my parents gave me many good
things, values they're wonderfulpeople, but for them.
My parents gave me many goodthings, values they're wonderful
people, but for them a collegeeducation and a career path and
stuff were not necessarily atthe top of the list.
And so for me, I'm a verycreative person and I've ended
(14:36):
up in a corporate career that'svery creative.
But when I got out of highschool, I only went to one year
of college.
I just found it boring.
I wasn't into it, I didn't wantto do it and I'd always been
really interested in hairstylingand hair and I decided to quit
(14:56):
college and I did and I did manycool things with that.
I got to study at Vidal Sassoonin London.
I specialized in hair color.
I got to meet a number ofreally cool people and my
clients were very cool,inspirational people.
I would say that is one of thebig catalysts for why I ended up
(15:21):
where I did is that a lot of myclients were very successful
entrepreneurs, doctors,attorneys and by being close to
those people because you do getvery close to your clients when
you're a hairstylist I learnedthings about how they look at
the world and that created forme the life that I have today
(15:42):
and it was the beginning of itand it inspired me to go back to
school and finish.
It was something I alwaysthought when I quit, I thought,
oh, I can just go back someday.
But going back is somethingmost people don't usually do.
And I remember a conversationthat I had with my mother, which
directly ties to the quote thatI shared from Earl Nightingale
(16:03):
the time will pass anyway.
I had a conversation with mymother.
I'd been out of school andworking as a hairstylist for
probably three years four yearsmaybe and I remember telling my
mom hey, I think I want to goback to school.
So I wasn't real sure what Iwanted to do, but I had three
more years of college to getthrough and I was supporting
(16:24):
myself.
So it wasn't about moving backin with my mom and dad.
This is about oh, this issomething I'm going to have to
do myself, pay for myself andfind the time to do while I'm
working full time.
And I was talking to my momabout it and I said I do the
math and I don't know if I gopart time, I could be 28 or 29.
And my mom said something thatenabled the whole thing, because
(16:48):
if she had said somethingdifferent, enabled the whole
thing.
Because if she had saidsomething different, I do
believe I might not have madethe decision I made.
She said you're going to be 28anyway.
Do you want to be 28 with adegree or 28 without a degree?
And I will tell you thatpractical wisdom is something my
mom was known for and I amforever grateful that she said
(17:11):
that to me, because I saidyou're right, I want to be 28
with a degree.
And so for me, I just wrapped myhead around okay, I'm going to
get creative about financing.
And this is going to be a verybusy four years for me, because
I am going to be working fulltime and probably going to
school and carrying a fairlyheavy load Like this is not
necessarily going to be workingfull time and probably going to
(17:31):
school and carrying a fairlyheavy load Like this is not
necessarily going to be easy,but it's going to be super fun.
And if you fast forward 25years or 30 years, I am making
more money than I imagined Iwould ever be capable of making,
and I have done things and metpeople and gone places and had
(17:55):
experiences that, honestly, Icouldn't have even dreamed about
when I had that conversationwith my mother.
So I'm sharing all of thatbecause it's easy to forget and
it's really easy to talkourselves out of the things we
want to go do at any age, butespecially as we get older,
because we think what is thepoint?
(18:16):
Like I know people who want togo and get a second degree.
I am still thinking about goingback and getting a graduate
degree.
I want one in positivepsychology from UPenn.
I have been thinking about itand I haven't done it because
I'm trying to figure out howimportant it is to me.
I don't want it so that I cancredential up or what other
(18:36):
people will think.
I want it for myself.
I'm just trying to figure outhow bad do I want it, because it
is going to be something thatrequires a lot of my time and
money.
So I'm saying all of thisbecause it's really easy to
forget, and I want you toremember that life is going to
pass anyway.
It's what Earl Nightingale saidnever give up on a dream because
(19:00):
of the time it will take toaccomplish it.
The time is going to passanyway.
So it's what my mother said too.
If you're 50 and want to dosomething that you know is going
to take a ton of time, maybeit's like doing what I'm doing
standing up a business whileyou're working.
There's only so much time youhave right, the time's going to
(19:20):
pass anyway.
Do you want, in that five or 10years, to be the person who
owns a successful business, onethat can allow you to pivot out
of your career and maybeup-level your income in some
really impressive ways, or doyou just want to be the person
who talks yourself out of it?
And in that 10 years, insteadof building a business, you did
(19:40):
nothing with that dream.
Is that what you want foryourself?
Because that's the decisionyou're making.
This is not about I'm too old.
This is about what you'retelling yourself it's not too
late, and it doesn't matter howold you are, it doesn't matter
how long it's going to take, itdoesn't matter what you can
accomplish by the end of theyear.
I do not believe in limitingyourself to what's possible
(20:05):
within a set period of time.
I think the big dreams comefrom saying this is what I want
and I'm doing it, and it doesn'tmatter how long it takes, I'm
doing it.
That's when we really get going.
And for this one, I wanted toend with another quote which is
perfect for what we were talkingabout, and it's from someone
(20:26):
named Azim Premji Sorry if Imispronounced that.
And they say if people are notlaughing at your goals, your
goals are too small.
Very true, and something that alot of us don't allow ourselves
to do when we get to midlife,because we don't want people to
(20:50):
say we're a dreamer.
We don't want people to saythat's impossible or laugh at us
behind our back.
It doesn't matter what anyoneelse thinks, it matters what you
think.
And that leads us to numberthree you don't have to build
your possibilities from whereyou are today.
So this one is another big one.
(21:10):
At midlife and I want to startit with a quote from Bernd
Heinrich I think is how you sayhis name and he says we gauge
what we think is possible bywhat we know from experience A
lot of us think about ourpossibilities based on where we
are today.
(21:30):
So when we set goals, a lot ofus set goals from okay, well,
I'm here, I weigh this muchweight and I want to lose this
much weight, or I'm making thismuch money and I want to make
this much money.
We set our goals or we dreamour dreams based on today, and
(21:51):
that's fine.
You can do that.
Today is a really nice gauge ofmeasurement, because we are
definitely where we are todayright but what I'm trying to
tell you is you don't have tolimit what's possible based on
what's always been or based onwhat you've experienced.
You can create an entirelydifferent world for yourself.
(22:13):
It's what I was talking about onmyself when I went back to
school.
I didn't say at that time thatI want to be vice president of
brand strategy for entertainmentservices company.
I had no idea that somethinglike that was even possible and
(22:35):
I definitely never thought Icould ever at that point in my
life, earn even a hundredthousand dollars a year, let
alone multiple times that right.
Sometimes I allow myself tolook with wonder at the life
I've created.
I didn't look to my past tocreate that because I didn't
(22:58):
know anyone who had done that.
I just said I want to get adegree and I let that be the
starting point and the launchpadfor everything that's come
after that.
And so for me, when I look at mybusiness, I'm doing the same
thing, because now I'm tryingsomething entirely new.
I'm back where I was in my midto late 20s with the school
(23:22):
thing.
It's like I'm doing this fromscratch.
I'm doing it myself with nohelp.
I don't yet have a big staffand most everything.
I have to teach myself andfigure it out.
All of the tech, all of thestuff yes, I've spent my whole
career doing brand and marketand I understand the
fundamentals of it, but incorporate, I have staff that
(23:43):
does that.
I don't have to do all of theemails and work in those tech
platforms and build a websitemyself.
I had to do all of that.
So what I'm telling you is don'tlimit what you want based on
what's always been.
I don't care how old you are.
If you're 65 and getting readyto retire but you don't really
(24:03):
want to just travel, or if youwant something different from
yourself, other than thetraditional retirement that we
think of, like just taking iteasy or volunteering or whatever
.
If you want to make it yournext act, then do it.
It doesn't matter what anyonesays and it doesn't matter how
long it takes, and it doesn'tmatter what you did with your
(24:25):
corporate career for 30 years.
Just remove yourself from all ofthe stuff that's been and look
into the future and say what doI want?
And don't allow any of thetethering from the past to limit
you.
You don't have to build fromwhere you are.
You can create somethingentirely different just because
(24:50):
you decide to do it.
And I know that can sound crazyand I know it can sound
unrealistic and like a dreamer,but I've done it and I am in the
process of doing it again andin my opinion, that is the only
way to live.
Go for it, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't mean you have toblow up your life.
(25:11):
This is about small, incrementalchange that you do day in and
day out, that, over time, leadsyou to an entirely different
future.
And think of how that is goingto inspire everyone who knows
you now.
So you do not have to buildfrom where you are.
(25:32):
You can create somethingentirely new for yourself.
I've done it, I'm in theprocess of doing it again and
you can do the same thing.
So I'm going to end numberthree with a quote that is from
John Scully and he says thefuture belongs to those who see
possibilities before they becomeobvious.
(25:53):
That is a powerful quote.
Number four is you mustcultivate a powerful mindset,
and this quote is from Buddhaand it says the mind is
everything, what you think youbecome.
(26:15):
So we talk about this a lot onthe podcast, but you know this
is about, especially at midlife,staying open and to stop
talking yourself out of things,to stop limiting your
possibilities and what are otherpeople going to think?
And all of the mindset dramathat comes up for us when we
(26:36):
start to dream big.
It can generate a lot of fear.
It can generate a lot ofemotions that make us
uncomfortable.
We worry what other people aregoing to think, we worry about
trying it and failing, and thenother people judge us for that
and I'm here to tell you youjust got to set it all aside.
And when you think about yourpossibilities for the future and
(27:00):
you feel those thoughts or oldbeliefs coming up that tell you
it's too late, I can't do it, Iwaited too long, I don't have
the right knowledge, you justhave to set it aside.
It's everything we talk abouton this podcast.
So go back to any of theepisodes where I'm talking about
self-doubt or fear of failureor imposter syndrome or all of
(27:24):
that stuff.
I've got episodes on all of it.
Spend some time going throughit, because I go into those
things at depth, so I'm notgoing to do it here.
I'm going to keep this oneshort, but I am going to say
that anything that you allowyourself to pencil in as being a
possibility for yourself thatyou haven't done before, you're
(27:44):
going to have to contend withthoughts that tell you it's not
possible.
And you are the one in chargeof your mind.
You decide what you want tothink and by choosing what you
think, you are, by default,choosing what's possible for
yourself.
So if you want to go dosomething big and new, you're
(28:06):
going to have to allow yourselfthe space to believe that's
possible.
So if you struggle in this areawith self-doubt, imposter
syndrome, fear, failure, any ofthat, go back and listen to any
of the episodes I've done.
There's a lot there and I thinkyou'll find them helpful.
And I'm going to close thissection with a quote from Amy
(28:27):
Poehler, who says try to keepyour mind open to possibilities
and your mouth closed on mattersyou don't know about.
Limit your always and nevers.
That is words of wisdom from avery funny comedian, amy Poehler
(28:48):
.
So, number five this is aboutallowing yourself to dream, and
I think it's something that wecan limit ourselves on when we
get to a certain age.
Like I said, I feel likedreamers usually live in their
20s.
We start to get into adult lifein our 30s and 40s and beyond
(29:11):
and we start to tell ourselves,well, that would be nice, it's
too late, it starts to get intomindset stuff.
But I want to start this onewith a quote from Gloria Steinem
, who says without leaps ofimagination or dreaming, we lose
the excitement of possibilities.
We lose the excitement ofpossibilities.
Dreaming, after all, is a formof planning.
Gloria Steinem, we need thoseleaps of imagination so that we
(29:37):
can keep the excitement in ourlives.
Possibility is about excitement.
We think about things that arepossible for us.
That's the emotion that usuallycomes up is this feeling of
could I actually do that or whatwould that be like?
How wonderful would that be?
(29:58):
And I feel like how sad if,just because we turned a certain
age, we don't allow ourselvesmore than a fleeting thought
about what might be possible.
Allow yourself to dream, and Iwould say your dreams are no
one's business.
You can share them if you wantto, if you have trusted people.
(30:21):
But too often we can findourselves surrounded by people
who might be envious or whomight be judgmental, or maybe
who might just want to protectyou and want you to stay safe,
and so we don't want the littlebud of a dream to before it has
(30:44):
a chance to blossom, to bekilled by the things other
people might say, or even ifthey're trying to help us.
I think sometimes not onlyallow yourself to dream, but
don't share that dream until youhave a little traction.
That's my advice to you.
Do what you want and what feelsright to you, but I just don't
(31:05):
think it's anyone's business.
Do what you want to do, but Ijust don't think it's anyone's
business.
Do what you want to do, andit's your life, this is yours to
create this whole year 365unwritten pages, and you get to
fill it, and no one gets to tellyou how to do that, unless you
(31:29):
let them.
So allow yourself the excitementof dreaming a new dream and
thinking of a new possibilityfor yourself, because, like
Gloria Steinem said, it is aform of planning.
We're never going to get thereif we don't first think that
there is even possible.
So we're not going to justarrive at this magical place
(31:50):
because some unseen force isguiding us there.
It's up to us.
We have free will, we haveagency over our lives and we, if
we're going to achieve bigthings, new things, things we've
never done before, we have tofirst decide what that even is
going to be right.
And that's how you got here,believe it or not.
(32:12):
Once upon a time, you were justgraduating from high school or
college and you weren't surewhat was possible for you.
So what got you here are all ofthe thoughts and the actions
that you had leading up to thisplace.
So if you want something new,you have to allow yourself the
(32:33):
luxury of having another dream,and it doesn't matter how
impossible it might seem or howfoolish it might seem to anyone
else.
What matters is what you think.
So I'm going to leave thissection with a quote from
someone named Coco Goff, whosays always dream big and don't
(32:54):
let anyone limit your dreams,because the possibilities are
endless.
That is a beautiful quote andnumber six, the last one, is on
self-belief and the importanceof believing in yourself.
No matter where you are, nomatter how many things you've
(33:14):
tried and failed at, no matterhow impossible or pointless it
might seem, if you're going toallow yourself to believe that
something new is possible foryourself In your future, you're
going to have to believe inyourself.
And sometimes the self-beliefis helpful if it's grounded in a
(33:39):
servant's heart.
And for that I'm going to sharea quote from Nicki Minaj, who
says I want to show little girlsthat the possibilities are
endless, to not only do it formyself, but to show them they
can do whatever they set theirmind.
To Nicki Minaj, who is doinggreat things in the world of
(33:59):
music and entertainment.
So I feel like this is a goodone, and if we find it hard with
wanting to go after somethingnew, we find it hard to do it
from a place of just believingin yourself.
Sometimes it's easier to do itthrough the lens of what is it
going to show those around me?
What will it show my children?
(34:21):
What will it show my coworkers?
What will it show my family?
What will it show my friends?
What kind of an inspirationcould I be to other people
because I allowed myself to goafter it and to eventually get
it?
That perspective will often helpovercome a self-doubt, because
(34:43):
you're taking it out of your ownfears and you're setting your
possibility or your new thingyou want to go do in a broader
context, in a context that is ofservice to others.
Sometimes, when I think aboutmy stuff in that way, it allows
me to just say, oh okay, thisisn't just about me.
(35:05):
I'm trying to do this to eitherhelp other people or, if I
actually do achieve it, whatlesson does that deliver to
others who might be watching andhow might that inspire them to
go do their things?
That's a really helpful way tothink about possibility and it
can help you overcome a lot ofself-doubt and uncertainty and
(35:29):
fear by putting it in thecontext of being an inspiration
to others, like Nicki Minaj said.
And it's a beautiful thing,because we can also tell
ourselves that it's selfish togo after something new, that
we're too self-focused or thatwe're too old for that kind of a
thing and that our life now hasto be about something different
(35:50):
.
And I'm here to say no, itdoesn't.
If you've got children, ifyou've got grandchildren, and
you dream a new dream, somethingtotally different, that you
want to go do over the next year, five years, 10 years, however
big it is because the bigger thedream sometimes, the longer it
takes to go get it Imagineothers that are close to you
(36:11):
watching that and thinking abouttheir own life and what's
possible for themselves.
That's huge.
Or, like me, if you're startingthis business, I've started
this business because I thoughtwhat's the point of going
through all of the things I'vegone through and overcoming all
the things I have overcome toget here.
(36:33):
If here is just in service ofme.
So my whole hope is that peoplestart to see something new for
themselves.
That's 100% why I started thisbusiness.
That and the fact that I justreally enjoy business, I enjoy
learning, I enjoy all of that.
(36:54):
It's a source of joy in my life,and so when I started thinking
about it, this was the logicalbusiness for me to start,
because to go from hairstylist,barely scraping by at times, to
a multi six figure year incomeerDoing brand strategy I didn't
even know what that was when Iwas going back to school.
My life has taken me in a veryinteresting journey, and I
(37:16):
believe that journey is onlygetting started.
That's only one part of myjourney, and the next part will
be an entrepreneurial journeyand probably an author's journey
, because I've written a couplebooks and I got away from it
five years ago as my career gota little crazy, and I'm getting
back into it now and that, too,is a source of joy.
It's not about making millionsof dollars or becoming a New
(37:40):
York Times bestseller.
I may or may not do that, but Iwill write books that are fun
for me books that are meaningfuland books that bring
perspective and or joy tosomeone's life.
That is my whole thing, andit's tied to the quote that
Nicki Minaj said.
I want to show little girlsthat they can do anything they
set their mind to.
She wants to be an example ofwhat's possible, and that's a
(38:03):
wonderful thing.
And I'll end this section with aquote from someone that is
unknown.
I did not get the author onthis one, but I like it.
It says don't listen tonegative influences.
Believe in yourself and showothers what you can do.
Only you can find yourpotential.
(38:23):
That is a truth.
It doesn't matter what anyonethinks you're capable of.
All that matters is what youthink you are capable of and
that you give yourself the graceand the space to not only dream
it but to go after it, free ofjudgment from yourself or anyone
(38:45):
else.
So I want to close this episodewith the same quote that we
started.
It is a beautiful quote fromDale Carnegie.
We all have possibilities wedon't even know about.
We can do things we don't evendream we can do.
That is true for me and that is100% true for you.
(39:05):
And it doesn't matter where youare, where you're starting from
how much has gone on, howimpossible that new little germ
of a dream might seem.
I invite you to allow yourselfto believe that whatever is
inside of you, whatever you'rethinking about, that it's there
(39:25):
for a reason, and give yourselfthe grace and the gift of going
after it.
It doesn't matter if youaccomplish it within the course
of the next year.
The year isn't a cliff.
(39:49):
Go after it, and if thisbecomes a multi-year journey, so
be it.
Allow yourself to go for it,because that is the greatest
gift you can give yourself atmidlife, because, instead of
closing down or allowingyourself to coast from here, it
reinvigorates you.
It re-inspires you and even ifyou've already achieved great
things, or if you haven'tachieved the things you want in
(40:10):
five or 10 years, if you giveyourself permission to go after
it, you can look back at todayas the starting point for this
amazing new future andpossibility that you've built
for yourself, and think of thelesson and the inspiration
that's going to give to all ofthose people around you.
(40:31):
Just be careful about who youshare that new dream with.
While it's still the germ of anidea, let it take shape.
Let it gain a little traction,because there will probably be
people in your orbit who may notbe so comfortable, and they
don't have to know about it yet.
Make it your own secret dream,if you need to.
(40:55):
And that leads me to the lastthing I want to say to you,
which is I hope that this yearis everything that you want it
to be, and then some, becausethat is what you deserve.
So with that I will leave youtill next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
(41:22):
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(41:44):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 212.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:20):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, friends.
I hope you had an amazing weekand I hope you had an amazing
(00:41):
Christmas.
Wherever you're celebrating, Ihope it was with family, friends
, loved ones, and I hope youspent the time doing the things
that you love.
So we are about to head into thestart of another year and I
wanted to do this week's episodeon possibility Because by the
(01:02):
time we get to mid career ormidlife, I think a lot of us
have settled in and when we lookat the start of a year, even if
we're excited about thepossibilities of a year and
things like that, a lot of uslimit ourselves to the things
that we've done in our past, tothe possibilities that look
(01:23):
possible from our current frameof reference, and we lose the
ability that I think a lot of ushad when we were just getting
out of college or just startingour career, where we were
looking ahead and we werethinking of our whole life as a
blank slate and that anythingwas possible.
We can give ourselves the giftof possibility.
(01:43):
We can give ourselves the giftof possibility broad possibility
at any stage of our life,because that is really a gift
when, no matter what our age is,we can look into our future and
think of it in the broadestpossible sense and believe that
anything is possible forourselves.
And it is so.
(02:05):
Enjoy this episode onpossibility.
Back when I was in school, Ialways loved September.
I loved the start of a newschool year, and now that I'm an
adult and not in school, I feelthe same way about January.
So this is a time when,honestly, if our life is a book,
(02:29):
the book is full of empty pagesand we get 365 pages to write
on.
And the reason I wanted to dothis today is because, on this
podcast, I focus on those of usin midlife and I define that as
the period of time between 40and 60 ish, and what I'm about
(02:54):
to say applies to everyone.
But there's a lot of thingsthat go on for us at midlife and
one of them is I feel like wetry to be realistic, and there's
nothing wrong with that.
I'm a practical Midwest girlmyself.
When it comes to creating thelife that we all dream of.
I think it's really importantto allow ourselves to dream
(03:19):
without talking ourselves out ofit.
So this podcast today is aboutpossibilities.
So I'm going to take youthrough six things that I want
you to keep in mind when youlook at the year ahead, and to
allow yourself to dream a littlebit and to look at the world,
(03:41):
maybe more like you did earlieron in your life, when we were in
school or just getting out ofschool and starting our career
and our adult life.
We all had to create the life,and so we allowed ourselves, I
think, at that stage of life, todream bigger, more fully, and
we didn't get mired down on whatwas realistic, because we were
(04:02):
just trying to figure out whatwe were capable of, you know.
So we had to throw ourselvesout there and go for it, but by
the time we've built our life,it's that societal checklist
that I've talked about severaltimes in the podcast, the one
that runs from zero to 40.
There's all these things thatwe need to go do in order to
(04:26):
build our life, and by the timewe get 40-ish, most of us, we
have a life.
Whether we're fully satisfiedwith it or not is a different
question.
We've got the life.
Usually, we've got the careerof some sort, we've got whatever
family we wanted, usually, andwe have our set of possessions
and our set of things, and we'vegot our life.
(04:48):
And that's the thing thathappens in midlife is that we
start to look at ourpossibilities from the construct
of where we are today, and sowhat I wanted to offer you today
was, just for the duration ofthis episode, allow yourself to
set all of that aside, all ofthe things you're telling
(05:09):
yourself about what you canactually realistically do now,
based on everything that'shappened to you, based on all
the decisions you've made, basedon where you are.
I want you to set all of thataside, and, as long as this
episode lasts, set all of thataside and as long as this
episode lasts, allow yourself todream a little bit and to look
(05:29):
at your world and your life andyour possibilities more like.
Maybe you looked at it 20 yearsago or 30 years ago.
I'm going to talk about sixthings that are important for
you to keep in mind, and I'mgoing to do it in a slightly
different way.
I'm going to do it through thefilter of inspirational quotes
(05:51):
and I'm going to pepper that inwith some perspectives that I
wanted to share, relateduniquely to midlife.
So I'm going to ground all ofthe six things in quotes.
I thought it'd be veryinspirational because you
wouldn't just be hearing aboutthe cognitive behavioral therapy
approach and the things that Itypically talk about.
You would be hearing from otherpeople, many of whom you will
(06:13):
recognize and just allowyourself to be inspired by these
high achievers and maybe thinkabout the ways that these things
could apply to your next 365days, because the future is
yours to do with as you wish.
(06:34):
So, with all of that said, let'sgo ahead and dive in, and I'm
going to start this by a quotefrom Dale Carnegie, who says we
all have possibilities we don'teven know about.
We can do things we don't evendream we can do.
And that's Dale Carnegie.
So I'm going to start it offthere and I want to go into the
(06:57):
first thing that I wanted totalk about, which I think could
apply to people at any age, butit's most notably present for
those of us over the age of 40.
Because by the time we get here, we've made some decisions and
we've experienced somedisappointments.
(07:18):
So if you're going to thinkabout your life as anything is
still possible for yourself,you're going to have to let go
of past mistakes.
So that's number one.
And I want to start this one bytalking about a quote from
someone named Sean Brady, and itsays there is always tension
(07:42):
between the possibilities weaspire to and our wounded
memories and past mistakes.
So I think that is true and Iguess what I want to say about
this one is I get it.
By the time we get to midlife,we have all had our share of ups
and downs, of highs and lows.
(08:04):
Some of them happened to us orwere served up to us that
weren't our choice, and some ofthem were decisions that we made
.
And I think sometimes that's atougher pill to swallow At least
it has been for me.
And what I want to say aboutthis one is, if you're holding
on to unfortunate things thathave happened and we all develop
(08:30):
stories around those things wemake, those unfortunate things
mean something about us, aboutour choices, about what is
possible for us, or we sometimesconstruct this really big story
about all of the unfortunatethings that have happened for us
, or we sometimes can constructthis really big story about all
of the unfortunate things thathave happened to us and we stay
(08:50):
grounded in that.
And when we stay grounded inthat, we are living in our past.
We are not living into thethings that we might want to
create for ourselves in thefuture.
So when I talk about letting goof past mistakes, it's really
important and it doesn't meanthat you have to let go of the
(09:12):
lessons that you learned fromthat, because those are very
valuable things.
But what I'm saying is don'ttalk yourself out of new,
exciting things Because you tellyourself that it is impossible
because of all the bad thingsthat have happened to you in
your life to date.
Life is always going to be aseries of highs and lows, a mix
(09:35):
of the things we want and thethings we don't want, and it's
super important to remindyourself as often as possible,
as often as is necessary whenyou're in midlife, to just let
it go, because if you don't,that is always going to take off
(09:55):
the table exciting newpossibilities that you could
create if you weren't so miredin the things that happened to
you in the past that maybebrought you to here, especially
if here is not a place that youwant to be.
So I know it's easier said thandone, but to some extent it is
(10:15):
just about forgiveness ofyourself, of others, and it's
about an acceptance that youmade the decisions you made or
the things that happened to you,and that, instead of focusing
on the wounds that thosedelivered, instead look for the
(10:37):
things that you learned, becausethat creates a bag of very
helpful tools that you can takeinto your future.
So I'm not saying forget aboutit all or pretend it didn't
happen, because that's notrealistic.
The stuff that happened in yourpast, both the things that you
decided to do and the thingsthat were delivered to you,
(10:58):
maybe in an unwelcoming way theyhappened and you just have to
accept it and stay very focusedon okay, but now what?
And don't live in those woundsevery day, because if you do, it
sucks your energy, it affectsyour mindset and you stop
(11:19):
looking at life as a series ofunscripted days that you get to
fill in ways that are meaningfulto you and instead we stay in
this steady hum of enduring ourlife instead of creating our
life.
So that is what I wanted totalk to you about in number one,
and I'm going to leave numberone with a quote from Carl Jung,
(11:43):
who says I am not what happenedto me.
I am what I choose to become.
That is very powerful.
So, number one let go of pastmistakes.
Number two is don't let thelevel of difficulty get in your
(12:04):
way when it comes topossibilities.
So I want to start this onewith a quote from Earl
Nightingale, who says never giveup on a dream just because of
the time it will take toaccomplish.
The time will pass anyway.
And for this one I want to sharea personal experience, and it's
(12:27):
a conversation that I had withmy mother back when I was in my
mid-twenties, and if you're newto the podcast, I'll go ahead
and share this briefly.
If you've been listening sincethe beginning or for a while,
you probably already know this.
But I have a very untraditionalpath.
I marched to my own drummer andI have pursued my life in a
(12:50):
nonlinear and very unexpectedway.
So for those who know my wholepath, I think almost every one
of them are very surprised bywhere I am today, and sometimes
I will say, when I stop and lookback on my own life, I'm like,
wow, like five-year-old Carlaeven 18-year-old Carla or
(13:13):
22-year-old Carla would beshocked at where I am now, but I
still do.
Look at it.
I haven't even really startedyet, but here's what I want to
say about this one level ofdifficulty, because I do think
this is something we tellourselves in midlife Ah, this is
going to take too long, this isgoing to be way too hard, it's
(13:34):
going to take too long and toomuch effort, and I have too much
life going on to allow me totackle that.
I want to talk about somethingthat happened for me way back
when I was always a good student, but I never.
I hate to say it now, but it'svery true.
I never really applied myself.
(13:54):
I got A's and B's, like mostlyB's, some A's, and I never
studied.
I was far more interested inschool, in cheerleading and my
extracurricular activities.
I was very involved in thingsand I always wanted to do well
in school.
I never cracked the booksbecause there was too much life
(14:15):
happening and there was too muchgoing on.
And I think, coupled with that,my parents gave me many good
things, values they're wonderfulpeople, but for them.
My parents gave me many goodthings, values they're wonderful
people, but for them a collegeeducation and a career path and
stuff were not necessarily atthe top of the list.
And so for me, I'm a verycreative person and I've ended
(14:36):
up in a corporate career that'svery creative.
But when I got out of highschool, I only went to one year
of college.
I just found it boring.
I wasn't into it, I didn't wantto do it and I'd always been
really interested in hairstylingand hair and I decided to quit
(14:56):
college and I did and I did manycool things with that.
I got to study at Vidal Sassoonin London.
I specialized in hair color.
I got to meet a number ofreally cool people and my
clients were very cool,inspirational people.
I would say that is one of thebig catalysts for why I ended up
(15:21):
where I did is that a lot of myclients were very successful
entrepreneurs, doctors,attorneys and by being close to
those people because you do getvery close to your clients when
you're a hairstylist I learnedthings about how they look at
the world and that created forme the life that I have today
(15:42):
and it was the beginning of itand it inspired me to go back to
school and finish.
It was something I alwaysthought when I quit, I thought,
oh, I can just go back someday.
But going back is somethingmost people don't usually do.
And I remember a conversationthat I had with my mother, which
directly ties to the quote thatI shared from Earl Nightingale
(16:03):
the time will pass anyway.
I had a conversation with mymother.
I'd been out of school andworking as a hairstylist for
probably three years four yearsmaybe and I remember telling my
mom hey, I think I want to goback to school.
So I wasn't real sure what Iwanted to do, but I had three
more years of college to getthrough and I was supporting
(16:24):
myself.
So it wasn't about moving backin with my mom and dad.
This is about oh, this issomething I'm going to have to
do myself, pay for myself andfind the time to do while I'm
working full time.
And I was talking to my momabout it and I said I do the
math and I don't know if I gopart time, I could be 28 or 29.
And my mom said something thatenabled the whole thing, because
(16:48):
if she had said somethingdifferent, enabled the whole
thing.
Because if she had saidsomething different, I do
believe I might not have madethe decision I made.
She said you're going to be 28anyway.
Do you want to be 28 with adegree or 28 without a degree?
And I will tell you thatpractical wisdom is something my
mom was known for and I amforever grateful that she said
(17:11):
that to me, because I saidyou're right, I want to be 28
with a degree.
And so for me, I just wrapped myhead around okay, I'm going to
get creative about financing.
And this is going to be a verybusy four years for me, because
I am going to be working fulltime and probably going to
school and carrying a fairlyheavy load Like this is not
necessarily going to be workingfull time and probably going to
(17:31):
school and carrying a fairlyheavy load Like this is not
necessarily going to be easy,but it's going to be super fun.
And if you fast forward 25years or 30 years, I am making
more money than I imagined Iwould ever be capable of making,
and I have done things and metpeople and gone places and had
(17:55):
experiences that, honestly, Icouldn't have even dreamed about
when I had that conversationwith my mother.
So I'm sharing all of thatbecause it's easy to forget and
it's really easy to talkourselves out of the things we
want to go do at any age, butespecially as we get older,
because we think what is thepoint?
(18:16):
Like I know people who want togo and get a second degree.
I am still thinking about goingback and getting a graduate
degree.
I want one in positivepsychology from UPenn.
I have been thinking about itand I haven't done it because
I'm trying to figure out howimportant it is to me.
I don't want it so that I cancredential up or what other
(18:36):
people will think.
I want it for myself.
I'm just trying to figure outhow bad do I want it, because it
is going to be something thatrequires a lot of my time and
money.
So I'm saying all of thisbecause it's really easy to
forget, and I want you toremember that life is going to
pass anyway.
It's what Earl Nightingale saidnever give up on a dream because
(19:00):
of the time it will take toaccomplish it.
The time is going to passanyway.
So it's what my mother said too.
If you're 50 and want to dosomething that you know is going
to take a ton of time, maybeit's like doing what I'm doing
standing up a business whileyou're working.
There's only so much time youhave right, the time's going to
(19:20):
pass anyway.
Do you want, in that five or 10years, to be the person who
owns a successful business, onethat can allow you to pivot out
of your career and maybeup-level your income in some
really impressive ways, or doyou just want to be the person
who talks yourself out of it?
And in that 10 years, insteadof building a business, you did
(19:40):
nothing with that dream.
Is that what you want foryourself?
Because that's the decisionyou're making.
This is not about I'm too old.
This is about what you'retelling yourself it's not too
late, and it doesn't matter howold you are, it doesn't matter
how long it's going to take, itdoesn't matter what you can
accomplish by the end of theyear.
I do not believe in limitingyourself to what's possible
(20:05):
within a set period of time.
I think the big dreams comefrom saying this is what I want
and I'm doing it, and it doesn'tmatter how long it takes, I'm
doing it.
That's when we really get going.
And for this one, I wanted toend with another quote which is
perfect for what we were talkingabout, and it's from someone
(20:26):
named Azim Premji Sorry if Imispronounced that.
And they say if people are notlaughing at your goals, your
goals are too small.
Very true, and something that alot of us don't allow ourselves
to do when we get to midlife,because we don't want people to
(20:50):
say we're a dreamer.
We don't want people to saythat's impossible or laugh at us
behind our back.
It doesn't matter what anyoneelse thinks, it matters what you
think.
And that leads us to numberthree you don't have to build
your possibilities from whereyou are today.
So this one is another big one.
(21:10):
At midlife and I want to startit with a quote from Bernd
Heinrich I think is how you sayhis name and he says we gauge
what we think is possible bywhat we know from experience A
lot of us think about ourpossibilities based on where we
are today.
(21:30):
So when we set goals, a lot ofus set goals from okay, well,
I'm here, I weigh this muchweight and I want to lose this
much weight, or I'm making thismuch money and I want to make
this much money.
We set our goals or we dreamour dreams based on today, and
(21:51):
that's fine.
You can do that.
Today is a really nice gauge ofmeasurement, because we are
definitely where we are todayright but what I'm trying to
tell you is you don't have tolimit what's possible based on
what's always been or based onwhat you've experienced.
You can create an entirelydifferent world for yourself.
(22:13):
It's what I was talking about onmyself when I went back to
school.
I didn't say at that time thatI want to be vice president of
brand strategy for entertainmentservices company.
I had no idea that somethinglike that was even possible and
(22:35):
I definitely never thought Icould ever at that point in my
life, earn even a hundredthousand dollars a year, let
alone multiple times that right.
Sometimes I allow myself tolook with wonder at the life
I've created.
I didn't look to my past tocreate that because I didn't
(22:58):
know anyone who had done that.
I just said I want to get adegree and I let that be the
starting point and the launchpadfor everything that's come
after that.
And so for me, when I look at mybusiness, I'm doing the same
thing, because now I'm tryingsomething entirely new.
I'm back where I was in my midto late 20s with the school
(23:22):
thing.
It's like I'm doing this fromscratch.
I'm doing it myself with nohelp.
I don't yet have a big staffand most everything.
I have to teach myself andfigure it out.
All of the tech, all of thestuff yes, I've spent my whole
career doing brand and marketand I understand the
fundamentals of it, but incorporate, I have staff that
(23:43):
does that.
I don't have to do all of theemails and work in those tech
platforms and build a websitemyself.
I had to do all of that.
So what I'm telling you is don'tlimit what you want based on
what's always been.
I don't care how old you are.
If you're 65 and getting readyto retire but you don't really
(24:03):
want to just travel, or if youwant something different from
yourself, other than thetraditional retirement that we
think of, like just taking iteasy or volunteering or whatever
.
If you want to make it yournext act, then do it.
It doesn't matter what anyonesays and it doesn't matter how
long it takes, and it doesn'tmatter what you did with your
(24:25):
corporate career for 30 years.
Just remove yourself from all ofthe stuff that's been and look
into the future and say what doI want?
And don't allow any of thetethering from the past to limit
you.
You don't have to build fromwhere you are.
You can create somethingentirely different just because
(24:50):
you decide to do it.
And I know that can sound crazyand I know it can sound
unrealistic and like a dreamer,but I've done it and I am in the
process of doing it again andin my opinion, that is the only
way to live.
Go for it, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't mean you have toblow up your life.
(25:11):
This is about small, incrementalchange that you do day in and
day out, that, over time, leadsyou to an entirely different
future.
And think of how that is goingto inspire everyone who knows
you now.
So you do not have to buildfrom where you are.
(25:32):
You can create somethingentirely new for yourself.
I've done it, I'm in theprocess of doing it again and
you can do the same thing.
So I'm going to end numberthree with a quote that is from
John Scully and he says thefuture belongs to those who see
possibilities before they becomeobvious.
(25:53):
That is a powerful quote.
Number four is you mustcultivate a powerful mindset,
and this quote is from Buddhaand it says the mind is
everything, what you think youbecome.
(26:15):
So we talk about this a lot onthe podcast, but you know this
is about, especially at midlife,staying open and to stop
talking yourself out of things,to stop limiting your
possibilities and what are otherpeople going to think?
And all of the mindset dramathat comes up for us when we
(26:36):
start to dream big.
It can generate a lot of fear.
It can generate a lot ofemotions that make us
uncomfortable.
We worry what other people aregoing to think, we worry about
trying it and failing, and thenother people judge us for that
and I'm here to tell you youjust got to set it all aside.
And when you think about yourpossibilities for the future and
(27:00):
you feel those thoughts or oldbeliefs coming up that tell you
it's too late, I can't do it, Iwaited too long, I don't have
the right knowledge, you justhave to set it aside.
It's everything we talk abouton this podcast.
So go back to any of theepisodes where I'm talking about
self-doubt or fear of failureor imposter syndrome or all of
(27:24):
that stuff.
I've got episodes on all of it.
Spend some time going throughit, because I go into those
things at depth, so I'm notgoing to do it here.
I'm going to keep this oneshort, but I am going to say
that anything that you allowyourself to pencil in as being a
possibility for yourself thatyou haven't done before, you're
(27:44):
going to have to contend withthoughts that tell you it's not
possible.
And you are the one in chargeof your mind.
You decide what you want tothink and by choosing what you
think, you are, by default,choosing what's possible for
yourself.
So if you want to go dosomething big and new, you're
(28:06):
going to have to allow yourselfthe space to believe that's
possible.
So if you struggle in this areawith self-doubt, imposter
syndrome, fear, failure, any ofthat, go back and listen to any
of the episodes I've done.
There's a lot there and I thinkyou'll find them helpful.
And I'm going to close thissection with a quote from Amy
(28:27):
Poehler, who says try to keepyour mind open to possibilities
and your mouth closed on mattersyou don't know about.
Limit your always and nevers.
That is words of wisdom from avery funny comedian, amy Poehler
(28:48):
.
So, number five this is aboutallowing yourself to dream, and
I think it's something that wecan limit ourselves on when we
get to a certain age.
Like I said, I feel likedreamers usually live in their
20s.
We start to get into adult lifein our 30s and 40s and beyond
(29:11):
and we start to tell ourselves,well, that would be nice, it's
too late, it starts to get intomindset stuff.
But I want to start this onewith a quote from Gloria Steinem
, who says without leaps ofimagination or dreaming, we lose
the excitement of possibilities.
We lose the excitement ofpossibilities.
Dreaming, after all, is a formof planning.
Gloria Steinem, we need thoseleaps of imagination so that we
(29:37):
can keep the excitement in ourlives.
Possibility is about excitement.
We think about things that arepossible for us.
That's the emotion that usuallycomes up is this feeling of
could I actually do that or whatwould that be like?
How wonderful would that be?
(29:58):
And I feel like how sad if,just because we turned a certain
age, we don't allow ourselvesmore than a fleeting thought
about what might be possible.
Allow yourself to dream, and Iwould say your dreams are no
one's business.
You can share them if you wantto, if you have trusted people.
(30:21):
But too often we can findourselves surrounded by people
who might be envious or whomight be judgmental, or maybe
who might just want to protectyou and want you to stay safe,
and so we don't want the littlebud of a dream to before it has
(30:44):
a chance to blossom, to bekilled by the things other
people might say, or even ifthey're trying to help us.
I think sometimes not onlyallow yourself to dream, but
don't share that dream until youhave a little traction.
That's my advice to you.
Do what you want and what feelsright to you, but I just don't
(31:05):
think it's anyone's business.
Do what you want to do, but Ijust don't think it's anyone's
business.
Do what you want to do, andit's your life, this is yours to
create this whole year 365unwritten pages, and you get to
fill it, and no one gets to tellyou how to do that, unless you
(31:29):
let them.
So allow yourself the excitementof dreaming a new dream and
thinking of a new possibilityfor yourself, because, like
Gloria Steinem said, it is aform of planning.
We're never going to get thereif we don't first think that
there is even possible.
So we're not going to justarrive at this magical place
(31:50):
because some unseen force isguiding us there.
It's up to us.
We have free will, we haveagency over our lives and we, if
we're going to achieve bigthings, new things, things we've
never done before, we have tofirst decide what that even is
going to be right.
And that's how you got here,believe it or not.
(32:12):
Once upon a time, you were justgraduating from high school or
college and you weren't surewhat was possible for you.
So what got you here are all ofthe thoughts and the actions
that you had leading up to thisplace.
So if you want something new,you have to allow yourself the
(32:33):
luxury of having another dream,and it doesn't matter how
impossible it might seem or howfoolish it might seem to anyone
else.
What matters is what you think.
So I'm going to leave thissection with a quote from
someone named Coco Goff, whosays always dream big and don't
(32:54):
let anyone limit your dreams,because the possibilities are
endless.
That is a beautiful quote andnumber six, the last one, is on
self-belief and the importanceof believing in yourself.
No matter where you are, nomatter how many things you've
(33:14):
tried and failed at, no matterhow impossible or pointless it
might seem, if you're going toallow yourself to believe that
something new is possible foryourself In your future, you're
going to have to believe inyourself.
And sometimes the self-beliefis helpful if it's grounded in a
(33:39):
servant's heart.
And for that I'm going to sharea quote from Nicki Minaj, who
says I want to show little girlsthat the possibilities are
endless, to not only do it formyself, but to show them they
can do whatever they set theirmind.
To Nicki Minaj, who is doinggreat things in the world of
(33:59):
music and entertainment.
So I feel like this is a goodone, and if we find it hard with
wanting to go after somethingnew, we find it hard to do it
from a place of just believingin yourself.
Sometimes it's easier to do itthrough the lens of what is it
going to show those around me?
What will it show my children?
(34:21):
What will it show my coworkers?
What will it show my family?
What will it show my friends?
What kind of an inspirationcould I be to other people
because I allowed myself to goafter it and to eventually get
it?
That perspective will often helpovercome a self-doubt, because
(34:43):
you're taking it out of your ownfears and you're setting your
possibility or your new thingyou want to go do in a broader
context, in a context that is ofservice to others.
Sometimes, when I think aboutmy stuff in that way, it allows
me to just say, oh okay, thisisn't just about me.
(35:05):
I'm trying to do this to eitherhelp other people or, if I
actually do achieve it, whatlesson does that deliver to
others who might be watching andhow might that inspire them to
go do their things?
That's a really helpful way tothink about possibility and it
can help you overcome a lot ofself-doubt and uncertainty and
(35:29):
fear by putting it in thecontext of being an inspiration
to others, like Nicki Minaj said.
And it's a beautiful thing,because we can also tell
ourselves that it's selfish togo after something new, that
we're too self-focused or thatwe're too old for that kind of a
thing and that our life now hasto be about something different
(35:50):
.
And I'm here to say no, itdoesn't.
If you've got children, ifyou've got grandchildren, and
you dream a new dream, somethingtotally different, that you
want to go do over the next year, five years, 10 years, however
big it is because the bigger thedream sometimes, the longer it
takes to go get it Imagineothers that are close to you
(36:11):
watching that and thinking abouttheir own life and what's
possible for themselves.
That's huge.
Or, like me, if you're startingthis business, I've started
this business because I thoughtwhat's the point of going
through all of the things I'vegone through and overcoming all
the things I have overcome toget here.
(36:33):
If here is just in service ofme.
So my whole hope is that peoplestart to see something new for
themselves.
That's 100% why I started thisbusiness.
That and the fact that I justreally enjoy business, I enjoy
learning, I enjoy all of that.
(36:54):
It's a source of joy in my life,and so when I started thinking
about it, this was the logicalbusiness for me to start,
because to go from hairstylist,barely scraping by at times, to
a multi six figure year incomeerDoing brand strategy I didn't
even know what that was when Iwas going back to school.
My life has taken me in a veryinteresting journey, and I
(37:16):
believe that journey is onlygetting started.
That's only one part of myjourney, and the next part will
be an entrepreneurial journeyand probably an author's journey
, because I've written a couplebooks and I got away from it
five years ago as my career gota little crazy, and I'm getting
back into it now and that, too,is a source of joy.
It's not about making millionsof dollars or becoming a New
(37:40):
York Times bestseller.
I may or may not do that, but Iwill write books that are fun
for me books that are meaningfuland books that bring
perspective and or joy tosomeone's life.
That is my whole thing, andit's tied to the quote that
Nicki Minaj said.
I want to show little girlsthat they can do anything they
set their mind to.
She wants to be an example ofwhat's possible, and that's a
(38:03):
wonderful thing.
And I'll end this section with aquote from someone that is
unknown.
I did not get the author onthis one, but I like it.
It says don't listen tonegative influences.
Believe in yourself and showothers what you can do.
Only you can find yourpotential.
(38:23):
That is a truth.
It doesn't matter what anyonethinks you're capable of.
All that matters is what youthink you are capable of and
that you give yourself the graceand the space to not only dream
it but to go after it, free ofjudgment from yourself or anyone
(38:45):
else.
So I want to close this episodewith the same quote that we
started.
It is a beautiful quote fromDale Carnegie.
We all have possibilities wedon't even know about.
We can do things we don't evendream we can do.
That is true for me and that is100% true for you.
(39:05):
And it doesn't matter where youare, where you're starting from
how much has gone on, howimpossible that new little germ
of a dream might seem.
I invite you to allow yourselfto believe that whatever is
inside of you, whatever you'rethinking about, that it's there
(39:25):
for a reason, and give yourselfthe grace and the gift of going
after it.
It doesn't matter if youaccomplish it within the course
of the next year.
The year isn't a cliff.
(39:49):
Go after it, and if thisbecomes a multi-year journey, so
be it.
Allow yourself to go for it,because that is the greatest
gift you can give yourself atmidlife, because, instead of
closing down or allowingyourself to coast from here, it
reinvigorates you.
It re-inspires you and even ifyou've already achieved great
things, or if you haven'tachieved the things you want in
(40:10):
five or 10 years, if you giveyourself permission to go after
it, you can look back at todayas the starting point for this
amazing new future andpossibility that you've built
for yourself, and think of thelesson and the inspiration
that's going to give to all ofthose people around you.
(40:31):
Just be careful about who youshare that new dream with.
While it's still the germ of anidea, let it take shape.
Let it gain a little traction,because there will probably be
people in your orbit who may notbe so comfortable, and they
don't have to know about it yet.
Make it your own secret dream,if you need to.
(40:55):
And that leads me to the lastthing I want to say to you,
which is I hope that this yearis everything that you want it
to be, and then some, becausethat is what you deserve.
So with that I will leave youtill next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
(41:22):
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(41:44):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
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