January 19, 2025 • 30 mins
Unlock the secret to achieving your dreams by transforming your mindset into a powerful tool for success. Have you ever wondered what stands between you and the life you've always envisioned? This episode of the Purposeful Career Podcast will lead you through an enlightening journey where we'll tackle the crucial mental shifts necessary to align your thoughts, emotions, and actions with your goals. Discover how the thoughts you harbor today might be the very obstacles in your path to success.
Join me, Carla Hudson, as I guide you through a fun and interactive exercise designed to assess the gap between your current state and your aspirational goals. Consider the future you, the version of yourself that has already achieved your dreams, and learn to recognize the thoughts and emotions that embody that state. By understanding and shifting your current mindset, you can bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, setting yourself on a sustainable journey to success.
Inspired by elite athletes like Patrick Mahomes, we explore the transformative power of becoming the person required to achieve new heights. This episode emphasizes the importance of genuine transformation through belief and commitment. Elevate both your life and career with my virtual coaching program, Next Level, where the insights from our podcast will be transformed into actionable strategies. Together, we'll make remarkable strides toward turning your dreams into reality.
Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 215.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, friends.
I hope you had an amazing week.
(00:41):
In this episode, we're going tobuild off of last week's episode
, which was about transformationfrom the outside in, and in
this week's episode, we'reactually going to explore your
goals in a couple of differentways.
We're going to talk about whatit means to not just have a goal
(01:03):
and dive right into takingaction, but instead we're going
to talk about what does it mean?
To first get your mindset, yourthinking and your emotions
aligned with where you want togo?
Because we all know the thingon New Year's resolutions, most
of us quit a weekend two weeksin, and we don't want that to
(01:26):
happen this year.
We want this to be the yearthat, whatever it is you want to
go, do that.
You actually go and do it, andthat means you're going to need
to stay with it, and thatrequires mindset work.
So in this episode I'm going towalk you through a really fun
exercise that helps you assessthe gap between where you are
(01:48):
now with that goal and where youwant to be, and then we're
going to talk about how youbridge that gap in some very
tangible ways, some of whichbuild off of last week's episode
, so you might want to go givethat a listen too, but this
one's fun.
I think you'll enjoy it.
It's a very workshop styleepisode, so be sure you have a
(02:10):
pen and paper ready to walkyourself through, and I hope you
enjoy this week's episode onwho you're being relative to
your goals.
It is important to do somefoundational work before you
start to tackle your goals.
It is important to do somefoundational work before you
start to tackle your goals.
Most of us, when we set thegoals, we'll focus entirely on
(02:35):
the things we need to do andthen we'll dive in and go do it.
But I want you to understandwhere our actions come from,
because you can't just startthere.
When you set a goal, it'susually to either change
something in your life or to godo something you've never done
(02:56):
before.
Usually there's something aboutyour life that you're wanting
to change and that's where thegoal is coming from.
So it's important to understandthat everything that drove you
to where you are today, all thecollective actions that you took
to arrive in this place whereyou're setting the new goal,
(03:17):
those were all caused by theactions and inactions you took
leading up to this point.
And behind those actions andinactions that you've taken all
of these years to arrive at thisplace that now you want to
tweak or transform, our emotionscaused our actions.
If we're not feeling great, theactions and inactions we take
(03:38):
are not going to serve us.
But if we're feeling a positiveemotion, they are more likely
to take actions that serve us.
But where do our emotions comefrom?
They don't just appear out ofnowhere and they are not caused
by the things that happen.
Our emotions are caused by whatwe're thinking day in and day
out about all the things thatare happening to us.
(04:00):
Emotions are caused by ourthoughts and beliefs, and we
know that beliefs are justthoughts.
We think over and over again.
They're caused by how we'rethinking about the new goal that
we want, right.
So if you want something that'seither next level or completely
new, it stands to reason thatyou are not going to get there
(04:24):
by continuing to think and feelthe same way that you thought
and felt leading up to thispoint.
That's what I mean when I talkabout who are you being?
And today you're being onething, and it might be a mix of
things that you want and thingsthat you don't want, and so the
results you have in your lifemight be a mix of things you
(04:45):
want and don't want.
That's how most of us are.
That doesn't mean anything hasgone wrong, but if you want
something new, then you have tobe someone new, and that is what
I want to lead you throughtoday, because if you keep
thinking the same patterns ofthought and you keep having the
same emotions that created theresults that you have today, and
(05:08):
you just try to set new loftygoals or even small goals and
just grit it out and take thatconsistent action, you probably
won't achieve that goal.
And even if you get it, youprobably are going to find it
hard to hang on to it, becauseit's coming from a place of grit
(05:29):
and effort and difficulty andstriving.
It's coming from this place ofreally intense, not so great,
energy.
Think about a weight loss goaland think about the number of
people who go after that andmight initially achieve the
success they want but then gainthat back and then some.
(05:50):
Right, it's because they didthe things, they practiced the
discipline, but they didn'tchange how they're thinking
about themselves, how they'rethinking about their life and
their beliefs.
Because if they did change thatfirst and went into the weight
loss through a new thought andbelief system, then all of the
things that we do with weightloss like oh my gosh, I got to
(06:12):
lose it in two months or youknow, all of the things that we
tell ourselves we have to do tolose weight it all gets easier
if you first start with yourthinking and make sure that is
aligned, those thoughts andfeelings are aligned with what
you really want, right?
And that way, no matter whathappens around you because 2025
(06:34):
is going to be like every otheryear, it's going to be part good
and part challenging and it'sgoing to be you showing up in
those great situations and thosechallenging situations and you
want to be able to do that froma strong mental mindset.
So, no matter what it is,you're doing that from a place
(06:54):
of strength and you'recontinuing your focus on the
things that you want and you'renot being blown off course by
the events of your life and it'sjust so easy to get blown off
course by the events of yourlife and it is so easy to get
blown off course.
But today I want to walk youthrough a different way to think
about your goal getting thisyear, and we're going to learn
(07:15):
on this episode who you need tobe in order to get the things
that you want.
So, before we dive in, what Iwant you to do, if you want to
workshop it with me on thisepisode, or you can listen to it
all the way through and do thislater but for this part of it,
I want you to take out a pen andpaper or open up a Google or
(07:37):
Word doc, and I'm going to walkyou through an exercise,
step-by-step, and it's probablysomething you're going to want
to listen to more than once, butI promise you that it will open
your eyes about the real workyou have to do in order to get
the things that you want for2025.
So let's go ahead and dive in.
(08:00):
So, step number one we're goingto do a little bit of time
travel.
I want you to imagine yourselfon December 31st of 2025.
And I want you to pick one goaland you probably have many goals
, but just pick one for thisexercise.
It could be a personal goal,like weight loss.
It could be a professional goal, like next level in your title
(08:24):
or income, or starting thebusiness.
Whatever it is, I want you tobe very specific about the
result that you want.
So write that down and then, asa foil to that step one B, I
want you to say for that goal,where are you now?
So, for example, if you want tohave your business finally get
(08:45):
off the ground, what is thatgoal?
Is it a revenue goal?
Is it just launching thebusiness?
What is it?
And where are you now?
Do you have the business?
Are you at a certain revenuegoal?
I want you to see what the gapis between where you are and
where you want to be.
If it's a weight goal, where doyou want to be in terms of a
number on the scale or a sizethat you wear, whatever it is?
(09:06):
And then I want you to say okay, where are you now?
So that's the Delta, because alot of this work that I'm going
to walk you through is going tobe looking at who you need to be
in the future, but it's alsogoing to be looking at, okay,
who have you been being?
Because that's a gap too right.
If you've got a gap in theresults today versus where you
want to be next year, I canpromise you there's a gap
(09:27):
between what you're thinkingwhen you have attained that goal
and what you're thinking rightnow, leading up to this place,
and all of the things thatyou've been feeling versus what
you would be feeling if you hadachieved that goal, and all of
the actions that you've beentaking to get where you are now,
which is a place that you wantto change.
We need to understand that gap,right.
So that's number one.
(09:48):
What result do you want andwhere are you right now relative
to that result?
So that's one Step.
Number two stay in the place ofDecember 31st, 2023, 2025.
And I want you to put yourselfin the mindset of the person who
had now achieved that goal.
Let's pretend that you want touplevel your income by 30%.
(10:13):
Now imagine you have it.
You got the raise, you got thenew job, you started the
business, whatever it is.
Imagine who is the person whohas that thing.
How do you feel every day, nowthat you have that thing, and
then I want you to because weknow that emotions come from our
thoughts look at that emotionyou wrote down and I want you to
(10:36):
imagine what you're thinkingthat would cause that emotion
and I want you to list it all.
What are all the thoughts youthink that you would have if you
had that goal?
So a good way to do this is bydoing a thought download At the
top of the page, write down thatnew goal and I want you to list
not from a place of where youare, but imagine that you now
(10:58):
have the goal List all of theamazing thoughts that you would
have about that goal now thatyou have it, now that it's part
of your life, now that it's justhow much money you make or just
how much you weigh, or justwhat size you wear, how are you
feeling and what are youthinking about that goal, or all
the different thoughts thatyou're having about that.
(11:20):
Write all of that down.
Now, in step three, we're goingto look at the gap and I want
you to think about where you areright now.
And we looked at in step one,the current result you have
relative to your goal, and Iwant you to think about how you
feel today relative to thatthing.
(11:40):
It's probably a very differentemotion, right?
Instead of pride, instead ofgratitude that you have achieved
the goal I mean today, maybeyou're feeling a sense of lack,
right?
Maybe you're feelingdemotivated, Maybe you're
feeling sad, right?
Whatever it is, think about theresult you have today, and I
(12:02):
want you to think about how youfeel, about where you are
currently at.
And then I also want you to now, in step three, I want you to
do the same kind of thoughtdownload.
I want you to put your currentresult at the top of the page.
So let's pretend it's a weightloss goal.
What do you weigh today?
And let's pretend that yourgoal is to lose weight.
I want you to think about allthe things that you think about
(12:25):
your current weight, everythought.
Just keep writing.
And the rule on the thoughtdownload again.
Go back and listen to episode 90for more details, but I like to
tell my clients to not write inparagraph form.
Do it one sentence per line andjust keep writing until it's
all done.
And when you feel like you'vewritten all the thoughts down
(12:47):
that you have about that currentresult that you don't want.
I want you to prompt yourselfand say what else?
And just sit there quietly.
What else is in there?
I want you to literally thinkabout it, like you picked up a
wet rag and you're wringing allof the water out of the rag.
That's what you're trying to do.
You're trying to take everythought that you have about
where you're at today and put itdown on paper, one sentence per
(13:12):
line.
And why do I do the onesentence per line?
Because I want you tounderstand that it's not this
big story.
All your thoughts are today areseparate sentences in your mind
.
They're all different thoughtsthat all will deliver a slightly
different emotion.
It's not this big, dramaticstory.
(13:35):
So that's why I don't do it inparagraph form, because I think
a lot of us think that it's thishuge, complex story about why
we are where we are, and reallywhat it is is just a bunch of
separate thoughts, all of whichcan be shifted if you want them
to.
So that might require asuspension of some belief if you
(13:57):
don't don't believe that today,but I promise you it's true.
The reason I do it that way isI think it's very empowering to
realize that the stories we tellourselves about where we are
and why we got there and who weare because of that are not true
.
It's just really a bunch ofrandom, one-off thoughts that
got filed away that we thinkover and over again, and all of
(14:21):
them can be shifted, and that'swhy one sentence per line is
super important.
So, step three what are youfeeling about your goal today?
And do a complete thoughtdownload, get it all out on
paper.
Step four is I want you toassess the gap.
I want you to look at what youranswers were in step two about
(14:44):
being a year from now and you'vealready achieved that thing,
how you feel, what you'rethinking.
I want you to look at that andI want you to compare it to what
you put in step three aboutwhere you are today with your
current result, how you feelabout that and all your thoughts
about that.
I can promise you, for mostpeople, if it's something you
want to change, whether big orsmall, there's a gap there and
(15:07):
it's pretty significant,starting with how you think
right and also going into howyou feel.
And I want you to look at thatand be aware of that, because if
you're not mindful of that gap,that is what is going to prompt
you to quit.
Because even if, in the moment,you can muster up the
(15:32):
motivation or the grit or thedetermination to kind of power
through with the eating protocolor the gym protocol or whatever
you're trying to do, how youshow up at work, whatever it is
you won't be able to sustain itif you don't change who you're
being, how you're showing up,right.
So it's important to understandlike, okay, this is where I am
(15:56):
today and this is where I needto be, or this is where I will
be once I have that, and thenstart asking yourself in step
five how do you bridge that gap,before you start focusing on
all the hacks and all theactions and all the stuff you
have to do in order to achievethat?
That's important.
I'm not diminishing takingaction because you need to go do
(16:18):
it, but before you do that, Iwant you to spend a little time
figuring out how do you movefrom thinking the way you're
thinking today and turning thosenegative thoughts into more
possibilities oriented thoughts,so that over the course of the
year, as you start taking theaction, you're starting to shift
your mindset into the mindsetof that new person.
(16:42):
You're starting to be someonenew, the person who has that
thing that you want right.
And I think you know one of theways to do that the shifting.
There's a lot of different waysto do it and I do think
self-coaching is a really goodthing.
So going into episode 90 andreally understanding it and
(17:04):
coaching yourself every day ofthe new year for 15 minutes in
the way that I teach in episode90 around the new goal will go a
long way towards shifting youfrom where you are to where you
want to be.
But I want you to think abouthow badly do you want that new
goal?
Like, do you want it bad enoughto become someone new and to
(17:28):
stay with it day in and day out?
Or could you kind of care less?
Because becoming someone newthere has to be a strong impetus
behind it.
Next level change requiresdiscipline.
Like you think about the mindsetof an elite athlete and I share
this because I'm a Kansas CityChiefs fan and Patrick Mahomes
(17:50):
is the best quarterback in theNFL.
But one of the things he talkedabout was his father was a
pitcher in the National BaseballLeague.
He played for a New York team,I can't remember like the Mets,
maybe, I'm not sure the Yankees,one of the two.
And Patrick talked about hisdad.
Of course, his dad's a giftedathlete it's in the genes or
(18:12):
whatever.
So Patrick was a gifted athletetoo, in a couple of sports, I
think.
And his dad, from the time hewas young, would take him not
only to the games but in thetraining clubhouse, right, where
all the athletes were there,and he told his son hey, listen,
if you want to play at thislevel, this is what it takes,
(18:33):
right?
So what he was really teachinga young Patrick Mahomes was who
you have to be in order to getthat thing you want.
His dad told him it's not justgoing to happen, it's not going
to happen because I'm aprofessional athlete.
This, these people, are whatyou have to emulate, if that's
(18:53):
what you want.
And he watched people likeA-Rod and Derek Jeter and all
the I'm not a baseball fan, butall the people back in the day
that his dad played with.
That's who Patrick emulated.
So really, what he was teachingPatrick is this is who you have
to be, this is who you have tobe in order to get the thing
that you want.
And Patrick became that.
That's what he did, that's whatdrives him, and he understands.
(19:16):
That's what it takes.
That's what I'm talking about.
Like, how bad do you want it?
Because I do think, in order toget something and keep
something whether it's a weightgoal or a revenue goal in your
business, or an income level ora type of job goal or whatever
it is a relationship goal youhave to want it.
You can't just coast, you know,you can't just take it as it
(19:40):
comes, because that's not goingto inspire you to become someone
new.
And in order to have somethingnew, you have to become someone
new.
So how bad do you want it?
And if you don't want it, thatbad, keep thinking about what
you do want, because I canpromise you there are things
that we all want, right.
(20:00):
But then I want to talk to youabout the next thing Do you
truly believe that it's possiblefor you?
Because in that gap that Iwalked you through between where
you are today and where youwant to go, is a requirement
that you start to believe thatthat new thing is possible for
(20:22):
you.
And I can promise you that ifyou don't believe that, you know
you don't have it today, but ifyou believe that it's just
impossible, you will not staywith it.
You just won't.
If you think, well, I alwayscheat on my diet, so you know.
Or if I take it off, I'll justput it back on again.
Whatever your beliefs are, thatled you to where you are today,
which is not having the thingthat you want.
(20:44):
If you don't change your beliefabout who you are, about what's
possible for you and about thefact that, whatever that thing
is that you wrote down in stepone with the thing that you want
, if you don't believe that youcan thing is that you wrote down
in step one with the thing thatyou want, if you don't believe
that you can really have that,you will never get it.
(21:05):
So I want you to practicebelieving that new thing.
So the step number two, whereyou put yourself in the mindset
of the person who has that thingwhat is she thinking?
What is she feeling?
A really great thing to do asyou go through the year is to
keep coaching yourself on thosenew thoughts, practicing those
(21:29):
new thoughts that you listedthere, and continue to assess,
like where you are, like we didin step three, because you could
also take all of those morenegative answers that you
probably gave in step threeabout where you are today
because you don't have the goal.
So you're probably wondering ifit's possible and you're
thinking that'll never happen orwhatever it is.
(21:49):
You can turn each one of thosethoughts that were more negative
into a possibilities thought.
Is it possible that I couldhave this thing?
You could ask yourself thatquestion and coach yourself on
that.
Do a thought download on that.
Could I really become theperson who has that thing and
coach yourself on that?
(22:10):
And the last thing that I wouldsay is, as you assess your level
of belief or disbelief and youstart to coach yourself every
day, using the thoughts in stepnumber two to try on the psyche
of the person I want you tothink about too, like, are you
(22:30):
willing to practice showing upor being the person who already
has that thing?
I know you don't have it yet.
That's why it's a goal, right,but how do you think about it in
a different way?
Not as a thing that's offsomewhere down the road that
maybe you might have or youmight not have, but how do you
(22:54):
think about it?
Think about it as a new outfit,one that is totally elevated,
everything is amazing,accessorized perfectly, like
that's your new goal.
How do you, metaphoricallyspeaking, try that on every day
and keep wearing it and lookingat yourself having it and
(23:16):
imagining yourself being thatperson.
Right, it's like for a man.
Like, how do you take the$2,000 suit or whatever and
don't just have it hanging inthe closet, but trying it on and
practice being that personevery day?
How would that person show up?
How would that person dress?
(23:38):
How would that person presentthemselves to the world If you
already had the next levelsalary, if you already had the
business off the ground, if youalready had the relationship, if
you already had the weight loss, whatever it is, how would that
person physically show up in away that is different than maybe
(24:00):
how you're doing it today,literally.
I know that sounds superficial,but when you think about
transforming your psyche, therecan also be an external
transformation.
That can be a really good way.
Like thinking about theexterior presentation you're
making to the world can be oneof the ways that you start to
believe that it's possible foryou, right, whatever that looks
(24:20):
like for you.
Like how can you start to bethat person?
You can play with it a littlebit, go back to the thoughts
that you had, you know, in steptwo.
Like pretending to be thatperson.
It's like okay, well, let'splay it out.
How does she dress?
How does she wear her hair?
What kind of shoes is shewearing?
Like, how does she do hermakeup?
Like, who is she Like?
Who is she?
(24:40):
And how does she show up in away that shows the world that
she has that thing?
That can be a huge way that youstart to see yourself
transforming in a tangible waythat can help that mindset shift
be more permanent shift into ashift from disbelief to belief.
(25:01):
That's one way you can bridgethe gap is by practicing being
physically that person who hasthat goal.
It's a really fun exercise andit's a way to make something
more real, even though you don'thave it today and you probably
won't have it for a series ofmonths, right, because it's
going to take a while to get thegoal.
(25:22):
But you can be that persontoday if you choose to.
And then I want you to thinkabout a few last things.
How are you going to continueto be that person, even on a bad
day, even when all hell breaksloose, even when you're tempted
to cheat, even when you trysomething and it fails or it
(25:44):
doesn't work, are you willing tocontinue to show up and be and
believe that you are the personwho is working to have that
thing and that it's stillbelievable even when the bottom
falls out of your day, becausegetting ready for the bad days
(26:05):
is a super important part ofgoal achievement, cause it's
going to happen.
We're going to have good days,we're going to have bad days,
we're going to have things thatwork and things that don't work.
We're going to stay on theeating protocol and we're going
to cheat Like there's going tobe things that happen, but no
matter what it is.
If you have the right mindsetand if you continue to work on
your level of belief and youcontinue to bridge all of the
(26:28):
thought and emotion gaps betweenwhere you are now and where you
want to be, I can promise youthat the good days are going to
be amazing and the bad days area little blip.
They don't matter because youstay focused on your goal.
You can cheat and forgiveyourself and move on.
You don't have to blow thewhole week because you cheated
(26:48):
right or you know.
If you try something and itfails, or if you go for the new
job and you don't get the offer,you can either believe that
it's never going to happen foryou, or you can believe that
this is just, this was just notmeant to be, and the best thing
is still coming and I can stillmake it happen.
Right, it is about a decisionand who you're being.
(27:11):
It starts with your mindset.
But if that gap is still reallywide, try to get into the psyche
and the physical presence ofthe person who has the thing and
start making some of yourchanges, not just from the
inside out, which is aboutmindset, but from the outside in
(27:32):
.
Step into this clothing, stepinto the persona of the person
who has that thing, because thatwill go a long way towards you
looking in the mirror and youdoing the mindset work and
believing that it can actuallyhappen.
That is what I wish for youthis year.
I wish you everything that youdream of and then some.
(27:57):
I believe that whatever wereally want, we can have.
I believe that if we can dreamsomething, even for a moment,
that it's possible for us and, Ithink, in some way intended for
us otherwise we wouldn't havehad that thought, we wouldn't
want it that bad.
(28:17):
So it doesn't matter if you'venever had it before or if you've
tried and failed.
None of that has anything to dowith what's possible for you.
But what you need to do now isget really clear on where you
want to be at this time nextyear.
Go through these exercises thatI did, work on the inside out
(28:40):
mindset stuff, and allowyourself to play with the
outside in, step into thepersona of the person who has
that new thing.
Be your next level self inevery aspect how you look, what
you say, how you think, how youpresent yourself to the world,
(29:01):
the clothing that you wear, theway you do your hair, the way
you do all of it.
Tweak it, change it and let itbe aligned with where you want
to go.
I have found that the mindsetstuff is the key to the lasting
change and the lastingtransformation, but the outside
(29:23):
in stuff can be the jumpstartthat you need to believe that
it's actually possible for you.
So, who you are being, thinkabout your goals from that
perspective and I can promiseyou that this is the year that
you finally start making all ofit happen.
And with that I will leave youuntil next time.
(29:45):
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
(30:07):
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
(30:27):
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 215.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, friends.
I hope you had an amazing week.
(00:41):
In this episode, we're going tobuild off of last week's episode
, which was about transformationfrom the outside in, and in
this week's episode, we'reactually going to explore your
goals in a couple of differentways.
We're going to talk about whatit means to not just have a goal
(01:03):
and dive right into takingaction, but instead we're going
to talk about what does it mean?
To first get your mindset, yourthinking and your emotions
aligned with where you want togo?
Because we all know the thingon New Year's resolutions, most
of us quit a weekend two weeksin, and we don't want that to
(01:26):
happen this year.
We want this to be the yearthat, whatever it is you want to
go, do that.
You actually go and do it, andthat means you're going to need
to stay with it, and thatrequires mindset work.
So in this episode I'm going towalk you through a really fun
exercise that helps you assessthe gap between where you are
(01:48):
now with that goal and where youwant to be, and then we're
going to talk about how youbridge that gap in some very
tangible ways, some of whichbuild off of last week's episode
, so you might want to go givethat a listen too, but this
one's fun.
I think you'll enjoy it.
It's a very workshop styleepisode, so be sure you have a
(02:10):
pen and paper ready to walkyourself through, and I hope you
enjoy this week's episode onwho you're being relative to
your goals.
It is important to do somefoundational work before you
start to tackle your goals.
It is important to do somefoundational work before you
start to tackle your goals.
Most of us, when we set thegoals, we'll focus entirely on
(02:35):
the things we need to do andthen we'll dive in and go do it.
But I want you to understandwhere our actions come from,
because you can't just startthere.
When you set a goal, it'susually to either change
something in your life or to godo something you've never done
(02:56):
before.
Usually there's something aboutyour life that you're wanting
to change and that's where thegoal is coming from.
So it's important to understandthat everything that drove you
to where you are today, all thecollective actions that you took
to arrive in this place whereyou're setting the new goal,
(03:17):
those were all caused by theactions and inactions you took
leading up to this point.
And behind those actions andinactions that you've taken all
of these years to arrive at thisplace that now you want to
tweak or transform, our emotionscaused our actions.
If we're not feeling great, theactions and inactions we take
(03:38):
are not going to serve us.
But if we're feeling a positiveemotion, they are more likely
to take actions that serve us.
But where do our emotions comefrom?
They don't just appear out ofnowhere and they are not caused
by the things that happen.
Our emotions are caused by whatwe're thinking day in and day
out about all the things thatare happening to us.
(04:00):
Emotions are caused by ourthoughts and beliefs, and we
know that beliefs are justthoughts.
We think over and over again.
They're caused by how we'rethinking about the new goal that
we want, right.
So if you want something that'seither next level or completely
new, it stands to reason thatyou are not going to get there
(04:24):
by continuing to think and feelthe same way that you thought
and felt leading up to thispoint.
That's what I mean when I talkabout who are you being?
And today you're being onething, and it might be a mix of
things that you want and thingsthat you don't want, and so the
results you have in your lifemight be a mix of things you
(04:45):
want and don't want.
That's how most of us are.
That doesn't mean anything hasgone wrong, but if you want
something new, then you have tobe someone new, and that is what
I want to lead you throughtoday, because if you keep
thinking the same patterns ofthought and you keep having the
same emotions that created theresults that you have today, and
(05:08):
you just try to set new loftygoals or even small goals and
just grit it out and take thatconsistent action, you probably
won't achieve that goal.
And even if you get it, youprobably are going to find it
hard to hang on to it, becauseit's coming from a place of grit
(05:29):
and effort and difficulty andstriving.
It's coming from this place ofreally intense, not so great,
energy.
Think about a weight loss goaland think about the number of
people who go after that andmight initially achieve the
success they want but then gainthat back and then some.
(05:50):
Right, it's because they didthe things, they practiced the
discipline, but they didn'tchange how they're thinking
about themselves, how they'rethinking about their life and
their beliefs.
Because if they did change thatfirst and went into the weight
loss through a new thought andbelief system, then all of the
things that we do with weightloss like oh my gosh, I got to
(06:12):
lose it in two months or youknow, all of the things that we
tell ourselves we have to do tolose weight it all gets easier
if you first start with yourthinking and make sure that is
aligned, those thoughts andfeelings are aligned with what
you really want, right?
And that way, no matter whathappens around you because 2025
(06:34):
is going to be like every otheryear, it's going to be part good
and part challenging and it'sgoing to be you showing up in
those great situations and thosechallenging situations and you
want to be able to do that froma strong mental mindset.
So, no matter what it is,you're doing that from a place
(06:54):
of strength and you'recontinuing your focus on the
things that you want and you'renot being blown off course by
the events of your life and it'sjust so easy to get blown off
course by the events of yourlife and it is so easy to get
blown off course.
But today I want to walk youthrough a different way to think
about your goal getting thisyear, and we're going to learn
(07:15):
on this episode who you need tobe in order to get the things
that you want.
So, before we dive in, what Iwant you to do, if you want to
workshop it with me on thisepisode, or you can listen to it
all the way through and do thislater but for this part of it,
I want you to take out a pen andpaper or open up a Google or
(07:37):
Word doc, and I'm going to walkyou through an exercise,
step-by-step, and it's probablysomething you're going to want
to listen to more than once, butI promise you that it will open
your eyes about the real workyou have to do in order to get
the things that you want for2025.
So let's go ahead and dive in.
(08:00):
So, step number one we're goingto do a little bit of time
travel.
I want you to imagine yourselfon December 31st of 2025.
And I want you to pick one goaland you probably have many goals
, but just pick one for thisexercise.
It could be a personal goal,like weight loss.
It could be a professional goal, like next level in your title
(08:24):
or income, or starting thebusiness.
Whatever it is, I want you tobe very specific about the
result that you want.
So write that down and then, asa foil to that step one B, I
want you to say for that goal,where are you now?
So, for example, if you want tohave your business finally get
(08:45):
off the ground, what is thatgoal?
Is it a revenue goal?
Is it just launching thebusiness?
What is it?
And where are you now?
Do you have the business?
Are you at a certain revenuegoal?
I want you to see what the gapis between where you are and
where you want to be.
If it's a weight goal, where doyou want to be in terms of a
number on the scale or a sizethat you wear, whatever it is?
(09:06):
And then I want you to say okay, where are you now?
So that's the Delta, because alot of this work that I'm going
to walk you through is going tobe looking at who you need to be
in the future, but it's alsogoing to be looking at, okay,
who have you been being?
Because that's a gap too right.
If you've got a gap in theresults today versus where you
want to be next year, I canpromise you there's a gap
(09:27):
between what you're thinkingwhen you have attained that goal
and what you're thinking rightnow, leading up to this place,
and all of the things thatyou've been feeling versus what
you would be feeling if you hadachieved that goal, and all of
the actions that you've beentaking to get where you are now,
which is a place that you wantto change.
We need to understand that gap,right.
So that's number one.
(09:48):
What result do you want andwhere are you right now relative
to that result?
So that's one Step.
Number two stay in the place ofDecember 31st, 2023, 2025.
And I want you to put yourselfin the mindset of the person who
had now achieved that goal.
Let's pretend that you want touplevel your income by 30%.
(10:13):
Now imagine you have it.
You got the raise, you got thenew job, you started the
business, whatever it is.
Imagine who is the person whohas that thing.
How do you feel every day, nowthat you have that thing, and
then I want you to because weknow that emotions come from our
thoughts look at that emotionyou wrote down and I want you to
(10:36):
imagine what you're thinkingthat would cause that emotion
and I want you to list it all.
What are all the thoughts youthink that you would have if you
had that goal?
So a good way to do this is bydoing a thought download At the
top of the page, write down thatnew goal and I want you to list
not from a place of where youare, but imagine that you now
(10:58):
have the goal List all of theamazing thoughts that you would
have about that goal now thatyou have it, now that it's part
of your life, now that it's justhow much money you make or just
how much you weigh, or justwhat size you wear, how are you
feeling and what are youthinking about that goal, or all
the different thoughts thatyou're having about that.
(11:20):
Write all of that down.
Now, in step three, we're goingto look at the gap and I want
you to think about where you areright now.
And we looked at in step one,the current result you have
relative to your goal, and Iwant you to think about how you
feel today relative to thatthing.
(11:40):
It's probably a very differentemotion, right?
Instead of pride, instead ofgratitude that you have achieved
the goal I mean today, maybeyou're feeling a sense of lack,
right?
Maybe you're feelingdemotivated, Maybe you're
feeling sad, right?
Whatever it is, think about theresult you have today, and I
(12:02):
want you to think about how youfeel, about where you are
currently at.
And then I also want you to now, in step three, I want you to
do the same kind of thoughtdownload.
I want you to put your currentresult at the top of the page.
So let's pretend it's a weightloss goal.
What do you weigh today?
And let's pretend that yourgoal is to lose weight.
I want you to think about allthe things that you think about
(12:25):
your current weight, everythought.
Just keep writing.
And the rule on the thoughtdownload again.
Go back and listen to episode 90for more details, but I like to
tell my clients to not write inparagraph form.
Do it one sentence per line andjust keep writing until it's
all done.
And when you feel like you'vewritten all the thoughts down
(12:47):
that you have about that currentresult that you don't want.
I want you to prompt yourselfand say what else?
And just sit there quietly.
What else is in there?
I want you to literally thinkabout it, like you picked up a
wet rag and you're wringing allof the water out of the rag.
That's what you're trying to do.
You're trying to take everythought that you have about
where you're at today and put itdown on paper, one sentence per
(13:12):
line.
And why do I do the onesentence per line?
Because I want you tounderstand that it's not this
big story.
All your thoughts are today areseparate sentences in your mind
.
They're all different thoughtsthat all will deliver a slightly
different emotion.
It's not this big, dramaticstory.
(13:35):
So that's why I don't do it inparagraph form, because I think
a lot of us think that it's thishuge, complex story about why
we are where we are, and reallywhat it is is just a bunch of
separate thoughts, all of whichcan be shifted if you want them
to.
So that might require asuspension of some belief if you
(13:57):
don't don't believe that today,but I promise you it's true.
The reason I do it that way isI think it's very empowering to
realize that the stories we tellourselves about where we are
and why we got there and who weare because of that are not true
.
It's just really a bunch ofrandom, one-off thoughts that
got filed away that we thinkover and over again, and all of
(14:21):
them can be shifted, and that'swhy one sentence per line is
super important.
So, step three what are youfeeling about your goal today?
And do a complete thoughtdownload, get it all out on
paper.
Step four is I want you toassess the gap.
I want you to look at what youranswers were in step two about
(14:44):
being a year from now and you'vealready achieved that thing,
how you feel, what you'rethinking.
I want you to look at that andI want you to compare it to what
you put in step three aboutwhere you are today with your
current result, how you feelabout that and all your thoughts
about that.
I can promise you, for mostpeople, if it's something you
want to change, whether big orsmall, there's a gap there and
(15:07):
it's pretty significant,starting with how you think
right and also going into howyou feel.
And I want you to look at thatand be aware of that, because if
you're not mindful of that gap,that is what is going to prompt
you to quit.
Because even if, in the moment,you can muster up the
(15:32):
motivation or the grit or thedetermination to kind of power
through with the eating protocolor the gym protocol or whatever
you're trying to do, how youshow up at work, whatever it is
you won't be able to sustain itif you don't change who you're
being, how you're showing up,right.
So it's important to understandlike, okay, this is where I am
(15:56):
today and this is where I needto be, or this is where I will
be once I have that, and thenstart asking yourself in step
five how do you bridge that gap,before you start focusing on
all the hacks and all theactions and all the stuff you
have to do in order to achievethat?
That's important.
I'm not diminishing takingaction because you need to go do
(16:18):
it, but before you do that, Iwant you to spend a little time
figuring out how do you movefrom thinking the way you're
thinking today and turning thosenegative thoughts into more
possibilities oriented thoughts,so that over the course of the
year, as you start taking theaction, you're starting to shift
your mindset into the mindsetof that new person.
(16:42):
You're starting to be someonenew, the person who has that
thing that you want right.
And I think you know one of theways to do that the shifting.
There's a lot of different waysto do it and I do think
self-coaching is a really goodthing.
So going into episode 90 andreally understanding it and
(17:04):
coaching yourself every day ofthe new year for 15 minutes in
the way that I teach in episode90 around the new goal will go a
long way towards shifting youfrom where you are to where you
want to be.
But I want you to think abouthow badly do you want that new
goal?
Like, do you want it bad enoughto become someone new and to
(17:28):
stay with it day in and day out?
Or could you kind of care less?
Because becoming someone newthere has to be a strong impetus
behind it.
Next level change requiresdiscipline.
Like you think about the mindsetof an elite athlete and I share
this because I'm a Kansas CityChiefs fan and Patrick Mahomes
(17:50):
is the best quarterback in theNFL.
But one of the things he talkedabout was his father was a
pitcher in the National BaseballLeague.
He played for a New York team,I can't remember like the Mets,
maybe, I'm not sure the Yankees,one of the two.
And Patrick talked about hisdad.
Of course, his dad's a giftedathlete it's in the genes or
(18:12):
whatever.
So Patrick was a gifted athletetoo, in a couple of sports, I
think.
And his dad, from the time hewas young, would take him not
only to the games but in thetraining clubhouse, right, where
all the athletes were there,and he told his son hey, listen,
if you want to play at thislevel, this is what it takes,
(18:33):
right?
So what he was really teachinga young Patrick Mahomes was who
you have to be in order to getthat thing you want.
His dad told him it's not justgoing to happen, it's not going
to happen because I'm aprofessional athlete.
This, these people, are whatyou have to emulate, if that's
(18:53):
what you want.
And he watched people likeA-Rod and Derek Jeter and all
the I'm not a baseball fan, butall the people back in the day
that his dad played with.
That's who Patrick emulated.
So really, what he was teachingPatrick is this is who you have
to be, this is who you have tobe in order to get the thing
that you want.
And Patrick became that.
That's what he did, that's whatdrives him, and he understands.
(19:16):
That's what it takes.
That's what I'm talking about.
Like, how bad do you want it?
Because I do think, in order toget something and keep
something whether it's a weightgoal or a revenue goal in your
business, or an income level ora type of job goal or whatever
it is a relationship goal youhave to want it.
You can't just coast, you know,you can't just take it as it
(19:40):
comes, because that's not goingto inspire you to become someone
new.
And in order to have somethingnew, you have to become someone
new.
So how bad do you want it?
And if you don't want it, thatbad, keep thinking about what
you do want, because I canpromise you there are things
that we all want, right.
(20:00):
But then I want to talk to youabout the next thing Do you
truly believe that it's possiblefor you?
Because in that gap that Iwalked you through between where
you are today and where youwant to go, is a requirement
that you start to believe thatthat new thing is possible for
(20:22):
you.
And I can promise you that ifyou don't believe that, you know
you don't have it today, but ifyou believe that it's just
impossible, you will not staywith it.
You just won't.
If you think, well, I alwayscheat on my diet, so you know.
Or if I take it off, I'll justput it back on again.
Whatever your beliefs are, thatled you to where you are today,
which is not having the thingthat you want.
(20:44):
If you don't change your beliefabout who you are, about what's
possible for you and about thefact that, whatever that thing
is that you wrote down in stepone with the thing that you want
, if you don't believe that youcan thing is that you wrote down
in step one with the thing thatyou want, if you don't believe
that you can really have that,you will never get it.
(21:05):
So I want you to practicebelieving that new thing.
So the step number two, whereyou put yourself in the mindset
of the person who has that thingwhat is she thinking?
What is she feeling?
A really great thing to do asyou go through the year is to
keep coaching yourself on thosenew thoughts, practicing those
(21:29):
new thoughts that you listedthere, and continue to assess,
like where you are, like we didin step three, because you could
also take all of those morenegative answers that you
probably gave in step threeabout where you are today
because you don't have the goal.
So you're probably wondering ifit's possible and you're
thinking that'll never happen orwhatever it is.
(21:49):
You can turn each one of thosethoughts that were more negative
into a possibilities thought.
Is it possible that I couldhave this thing?
You could ask yourself thatquestion and coach yourself on
that.
Do a thought download on that.
Could I really become theperson who has that thing and
coach yourself on that?
(22:10):
And the last thing that I wouldsay is, as you assess your level
of belief or disbelief and youstart to coach yourself every
day, using the thoughts in stepnumber two to try on the psyche
of the person I want you tothink about too, like, are you
(22:30):
willing to practice showing upor being the person who already
has that thing?
I know you don't have it yet.
That's why it's a goal, right,but how do you think about it in
a different way?
Not as a thing that's offsomewhere down the road that
maybe you might have or youmight not have, but how do you
(22:54):
think about it?
Think about it as a new outfit,one that is totally elevated,
everything is amazing,accessorized perfectly, like
that's your new goal.
How do you, metaphoricallyspeaking, try that on every day
and keep wearing it and lookingat yourself having it and
(23:16):
imagining yourself being thatperson.
Right, it's like for a man.
Like, how do you take the$2,000 suit or whatever and
don't just have it hanging inthe closet, but trying it on and
practice being that personevery day?
How would that person show up?
How would that person dress?
(23:38):
How would that person presentthemselves to the world If you
already had the next levelsalary, if you already had the
business off the ground, if youalready had the relationship, if
you already had the weight loss, whatever it is, how would that
person physically show up in away that is different than maybe
(24:00):
how you're doing it today,literally.
I know that sounds superficial,but when you think about
transforming your psyche, therecan also be an external
transformation.
That can be a really good way.
Like thinking about theexterior presentation you're
making to the world can be oneof the ways that you start to
believe that it's possible foryou, right, whatever that looks
(24:20):
like for you.
Like how can you start to bethat person?
You can play with it a littlebit, go back to the thoughts
that you had, you know, in steptwo.
Like pretending to be thatperson.
It's like okay, well, let'splay it out.
How does she dress?
How does she wear her hair?
What kind of shoes is shewearing?
Like, how does she do hermakeup?
Like, who is she Like?
Who is she?
(24:40):
And how does she show up in away that shows the world that
she has that thing?
That can be a huge way that youstart to see yourself
transforming in a tangible waythat can help that mindset shift
be more permanent shift into ashift from disbelief to belief.
(25:01):
That's one way you can bridgethe gap is by practicing being
physically that person who hasthat goal.
It's a really fun exercise andit's a way to make something
more real, even though you don'thave it today and you probably
won't have it for a series ofmonths, right, because it's
going to take a while to get thegoal.
(25:22):
But you can be that persontoday if you choose to.
And then I want you to thinkabout a few last things.
How are you going to continueto be that person, even on a bad
day, even when all hell breaksloose, even when you're tempted
to cheat, even when you trysomething and it fails or it
(25:44):
doesn't work, are you willing tocontinue to show up and be and
believe that you are the personwho is working to have that
thing and that it's stillbelievable even when the bottom
falls out of your day, becausegetting ready for the bad days
(26:05):
is a super important part ofgoal achievement, cause it's
going to happen.
We're going to have good days,we're going to have bad days,
we're going to have things thatwork and things that don't work.
We're going to stay on theeating protocol and we're going
to cheat Like there's going tobe things that happen, but no
matter what it is.
If you have the right mindsetand if you continue to work on
your level of belief and youcontinue to bridge all of the
(26:28):
thought and emotion gaps betweenwhere you are now and where you
want to be, I can promise youthat the good days are going to
be amazing and the bad days area little blip.
They don't matter because youstay focused on your goal.
You can cheat and forgiveyourself and move on.
You don't have to blow thewhole week because you cheated
(26:48):
right or you know.
If you try something and itfails, or if you go for the new
job and you don't get the offer,you can either believe that
it's never going to happen foryou, or you can believe that
this is just, this was just notmeant to be, and the best thing
is still coming and I can stillmake it happen.
Right, it is about a decisionand who you're being.
(27:11):
It starts with your mindset.
But if that gap is still reallywide, try to get into the psyche
and the physical presence ofthe person who has the thing and
start making some of yourchanges, not just from the
inside out, which is aboutmindset, but from the outside in
(27:32):
.
Step into this clothing, stepinto the persona of the person
who has that thing, because thatwill go a long way towards you
looking in the mirror and youdoing the mindset work and
believing that it can actuallyhappen.
That is what I wish for youthis year.
I wish you everything that youdream of and then some.
(27:57):
I believe that whatever wereally want, we can have.
I believe that if we can dreamsomething, even for a moment,
that it's possible for us and, Ithink, in some way intended for
us otherwise we wouldn't havehad that thought, we wouldn't
want it that bad.
(28:17):
So it doesn't matter if you'venever had it before or if you've
tried and failed.
None of that has anything to dowith what's possible for you.
But what you need to do now isget really clear on where you
want to be at this time nextyear.
Go through these exercises thatI did, work on the inside out
(28:40):
mindset stuff, and allowyourself to play with the
outside in, step into thepersona of the person who has
that new thing.
Be your next level self inevery aspect how you look, what
you say, how you think, how youpresent yourself to the world,
(29:01):
the clothing that you wear, theway you do your hair, the way
you do all of it.
Tweak it, change it and let itbe aligned with where you want
to go.
I have found that the mindsetstuff is the key to the lasting
change and the lastingtransformation, but the outside
(29:23):
in stuff can be the jumpstartthat you need to believe that
it's actually possible for you.
So, who you are being, thinkabout your goals from that
perspective and I can promiseyou that this is the year that
you finally start making all ofit happen.
And with that I will leave youuntil next time.
(29:45):
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
(30:07):
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
(30:27):
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
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