January 25, 2025 • 36 mins
What if the stress and panic you feel about time were all based on a self-imposed illusion? Join me, as we unravel the intricate web of stories and perceptions we build around time, especially when the clock seems to tick louder with the dawn of a new year. By examining our beliefs and narratives, we'll explore personal experiences and share a four-step exercise to redefine these thoughts, potentially transforming your approach to achieving your goals. Together, we'll tackle the anxiety of time pressure and learn how to use our perceptions to fuel productivity, not hinder it.
Despite technological advancements and a decline in average working hours, why does time still feel so scarce? This episode delves into the "time pressure paradox," dissecting how our fast-paced world and mindset contribute to this perception. We discuss the rapid pace of technological and social change, and challenge the conventional view of time as a series of arbitrary deadlines. By questioning these self-imposed constraints, we can adopt a more flexible and empowering perspective on time and goal management.
Let's shift from feeling trapped by time to feeling empowered by it. Learn how to identify and transform unconscious beliefs that hold you back. Through practical strategies like journaling and mindful evaluation of daily habits, we'll ensure that the way we spend our time aligns with our true priorities. Plus, discover how my virtual coaching program, Next Level, can help you apply these insights to your life and career, paving the way for a more intentional and fulfilled existence by 2025.
Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 216.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, friends.
I hope you had an amazing week.
(00:41):
It is almost the end of Januarywhen this episode comes out, and
that was kind of an epiphanyfor me.
This week I got a little bitpanicked because I have not
gotten everything done that Iwanted to get done in January
and that brought up all kinds ofbaggage about time.
(01:04):
And so today we are going totalk about time, my friends,
because we can do a number onourself in this day and age
around what it means to haveenough time.
That can be just as it relatesto just trying to fit everything
in in a given day or a givenweek, just with all the
(01:26):
different things we have goingon in our lives, but it can also
be something that by the timewe get to midlife so those years
between 39 and your mid-60sthat's when we can really do a
number and really at a much morehigh level or global scale,
start telling ourselves thingslike we just don't have enough
(01:47):
time left on the clock of ourlife to get everything done.
So time is a thing and we allhave our different ways of
dealing with it.
We all have our differentstories that we're telling
ourselves about time, and that'swhat I want to help you examine
today.
(02:07):
In this episode.
I'm going to offer you up aquick little exercise four
things that you can do toexamine your unconscious beliefs
about time.
I think it's going to make abig difference in how you look
at the year and maybe your lifeand your ability to get all the
things done that you want to getdone.
(02:28):
So enjoy this episode on time.
I started the year off with abang.
I had a list of things that Iwas going to get done.
I have a ton of goals for thisyear.
I'm spinning up anotherbusiness, I've got structured
schedule around writing becauseI'm starting to write books
(02:50):
again.
So my days are very scheduledand I started off January with a
bang.
But while I'm still on pace,sort of, I did look up about
five days ago when thisepisode's being recorded like.
It was like the 20th of Januaryand I got panicked because
(03:12):
there were certain milestonesthat I promised myself that I
would hit by the end of Januaryto stay on pace, and some I'm
going to hit and some importantones I'm not, and I could feel
myself starting to panic andtelling myself all these things
around time I'm not going to beable to get the things done this
(03:34):
year that I wanted to get doneand I was trying to cram too
much in and that, you know, Ijust don't have enough time, and
I felt kind of panicked aboutit.
And so that is something that Iwanted to explore on this
episode, because the truth isthat when I really stepped back
(03:56):
from it is it true that I'm offpace on some things?
Yes, it is, but what does thepace even mean and do I need it?
I was kind of starting to do anumber on myself on what I was
making the end of this monthmean in relation to my ability
to get the things done I want toget done this year, and so I
(04:17):
thought it was reallyinteresting.
What I realized was tellingmyself because I actually I'm
going to walk you through laterin this episode, four steps that
you can take to uncover yourown unconscious beliefs around
time, and I think it'll be veryhelpful because for me, it
helped me unwind this very, verycomplicated narrative that I
(04:40):
had around time that I'vedecided I don't want to believe
anymore.
It's not true.
It's just a bunch of thingsthat I've come to make time mean
, and all it really does isstress me out and, in some cases
, pushes me off the path of whatI want to achieve.
And before I go any further, Ijust want to say that all those
(05:02):
things that I just said are juststories that I'm telling myself
.
None of them are true.
Telling myself that there's onlya week left in January, and
years, if that matters.
Telling myself that it's asuper busy month and that
because of that I won't havetime to finish the things that I
said I wanted to get done thismonth.
(05:23):
All of those are just thingsthat I'm telling myself to get
done this month.
All of those are just thingsthat I'm telling myself they're
not true, even though to me theyfeel true, right, they're just
things that my brain has madetime mean, and we'll talk about
this more in a minute.
But it's interesting because,as I started to look at it this
week.
As I looked at the time left inJanuary, I felt that stab of
(05:46):
panic.
I thought what is coming up forme when it relates to time?
Like what am I thinking?
Here?
I'll share some of my own weirdthoughts about time, because
you probably have some thoughtsof your own that may or may not
be serving you.
I look at time as a container,and it's just an odd thing that
my brain does, but there's astart date and an end date, and
(06:08):
I look at my goals as do I haveenough time to accomplish them
by the end date, as if the enddate even matters.
We'll talk about more on thisin a minute, but when I explored
my own thoughts and beliefsabout time, it made me think
about others that I've workedwith, or people in my family or
(06:28):
friends.
We all talk about time andspecifically, so many of us
today believe we don't haveenough time or that we're
constantly feeling pressed fortime, and that's why I thought
time would be a reallyinteresting thing to talk about
today, since we're a month intothe year, so let's go ahead and
(06:51):
dive in Now.
We do all have different livesand different pressures on
ourselves with time, but for mewhen I looked at, oh gosh, it's
almost February already.
That's what brought up the timeissue for me.
It's probably different for you, but by sharing my own thoughts
around this, maybe it'll helpyou think through how you look
(07:14):
at time and whether or not it'sin a way that's serving you.
So I like to be goal oriented.
I'm not saying I alwaysaccomplish everything I set out
to do, but I do like havinggoals and I like feeling like
I'm moving forward in my lifeand there are certain points in
the year.
So if I set goals, usuallynaturally in January, there are
(07:36):
certain points in the year whenI'll look back to evaluate how
am I doing against those goalsthat I set.
And I'll do this to evaluatewhether I've used my time wisely
.
But depending on what time ofyear it is, the outcome that I
have or how I feel about mygoals usually varies widely and
(07:57):
it has to do with I realizedjust recently with how I look at
time.
So when I do it in June, july,and I look back to see how I'm
doing against my goals, I feelsuper motivated, even if I have
mixed results or even if Ihaven't even started on some of
the goals yet, and that'sbecause I'm telling myself
(08:19):
things like well, I may not havegotten to that yet, but I still
have six months left in theyear, and I'm making that mean
that I still have plenty of timeleft to get things done, to
really accomplish the thingsthat I said were important to me
this year, and that makes mefeel motivated and so, as a
result, I'm usually inspired todive back in with renewed focus
(08:42):
and energy.
Back in with renewed focus andenergy.
But in early December it's acompletely different experience
for me.
Now we're at the end of theyear.
So remember, I told you I'verealized I think of time as a
defined container and I think ofeach year as a different
container.
It makes no sense, but it issomething that goes on in my
(09:04):
brain.
So when we're at the end of theyear and I look back to see how
I'm doing against my goals evenif I have accomplished a lot of
them I tend to feel superpanicked because I tell myself I
don't have a lot of time leftto go after that goal.
I tell myself that the year'sbasically behind me and it's too
late to get anything newaccomplished.
(09:26):
Now again, none of thosethoughts serve me.
None of them are true.
The year doesn't end.
I mean the year does.
The calendar year ends inDecember, but my ability to
continue going out to that goalcould continue into the new year
.
There's nothing preventing mefrom doing it.
Nothing said I had to finishthat goal by the end of December
(09:49):
.
Sure, I might have said itwould be nice to do, but is
anything really going to?
You know, is the earth going tocome to an end if I don't
totally finish the goal by theend of December?
If it takes me until March,like it doesn't make any sense
for me to feel that way and tocompletely stop working on
(10:09):
things which I do, by the way,when we get to early December,
because I tell myself there'snot enough time left.
So when I tell myself that Ifeel really demotivated and that
usually means that I don't doanother thing about those goals
until January I'll just sweepthem under the metal rug and
just worry about it next year.
(10:31):
So I realized that somewherealong the line in my life I
started thinking of time as acontainer and that there's a
defined start and stop date andthat I have to be able to
accomplish things within thatcontainer of time.
So I view time in buckets and Imake myself have to accomplish
(10:56):
things within that bucket and ifI can't, I'll just give up on
the thing until I get into a newcontainer of time.
It makes no sense from alogical perspective, but I'm
just telling you all thisbecause it's how our brains work
.
Yours may or may not view itthe same way as I do.
You might have your own littleglitches when it comes to time,
(11:18):
but it's important to take alook at those things because
they can really get in our way.
Those things, because they canreally get in our way.
And time is a precious thing.
We all have the same amount oftime, the same 24 hours, but
I've found that it's usuallyless about the amount of time we
have or the things that we haveto get done in that time, and
more about what we're tellingourselves that that time means.
(11:41):
That gets in our way.
We can start our goals anytimewe choose, and what difference
in my case does it honestly makeif we accomplish them within
the calendar year or not?
It's a completely made up thingthat I have that I have to
finish it by year's end, right?
I don't.
Some goals could take three orfour years.
(12:03):
It's just fine, like whatdifference does it make if I
finish it in December of 2025 orif I finish it in September of
2026?
It doesn't matter, it'scompletely made up.
And yet this is something I'vedone to myself my whole life,
and what it's done is it's takensome big goals that I could
honestly continue makingprogress on and I'll just sort
(12:26):
of completely opt out of themand I'll kind of restart the
effort on January 1st.
Can you relate to this Like?
A good analogy of this thatI've noticed with a lot of my
clients and even my friendsrelates to weight loss.
You know, with a lot of myclients they'll ask themselves
maybe they want to lose 10, 20pounds or whatever, and they'll
(12:47):
say do I have enough time to getto my goal weight before
swimsuit season?
And if the answer to that is no, then it's like oh well,
there's not enough time, sobring on the cupcakes, right.
Or for you the time thing maybe different.
Like, you may be a parent, youmay have a couple of kids and
all of them are involved inactivities and that, coupled
(13:08):
with your job and your dailylife, might have you in a
constant state of feeling likethere's just not enough time to
get everything done for myfamily and my household, let
alone tackling important thingsthat I want to do for myself
personally.
(13:33):
And while you're legitimatelybusy, you might still find
yourself spending hoursscrolling Instagram or doing
like I did last Wednesdaygetting lost in binge watching
the new season of Selling Sunset.
That's what I did on Wednesdaynight instead of going to the
gym of selling sunset.
That's what I did on Wednesdaynight instead of going to the
gym.
What about that time, thevegging out time?
It's always interesting to mehow I can personally feel like
(13:53):
there's not enough time to dothe things I want to do because
I'm so busy.
And yet on Wednesday night at10 o'clock, I'm like did I
really just spend four hourswatching an entire new season of
Selling Sunset on Netflix?
What other things, like goingto the gym, could I have done
(14:14):
with those four hours if I'dbeen making a conscious choice
of how to spend the time, versusjust plopping down in front of
Netflix?
It's an interesting question.
Versus just plopping down infront of Netflix?
It's an interesting question,and there's a book called
Pressed for Time that's superinteresting if you're interested
in this concept and shebasically says that we live in
(14:35):
an age of paradox when it comesto time.
We work as much as if nothonestly less than people did a
half century ago.
I think there's three hoursless in our work week.
Now it's 37 on average versus40.
And I know a lot of us say wework 60 hours or whatever and
sometimes we do because I'vedone that myself but you know,
the truth is usually there areperiods of time when we're
(14:58):
working on a normal schedule andmost of us are in less
physically taxing jobs thanmaybe our relatives were 50
years ago.
And yet today, in the modernworld, with all of our
technological advances and allthe amenities and all the cushy
jobs and all the stuff, weexperience more scarcity of time
than we have at any point inhuman history.
(15:22):
And the book Press for Timecalls this the time pressure
paradox and I thought it wasinteresting.
She says it's driven by threethings.
The first is that there's anundeniable rapid pace of
technological change.
So all the sexy little gadgetsand techie innovations and
(15:43):
Netflix, things like that,facebook, instagram that steal
our time.
Second, there's theacceleration of social change,
so we've got constantly shiftingparadigms around business and
family and societal structuresthat are putting more pressure
or more ambiguity around time.
(16:04):
And then three, the acceleratedpace of life, so again driven
largely by all the technologicaland social change.
You know, we've just got thissuper feeling of just a really
fast pace, and there are endlessbooks and software programs and
tech devices and coaches andall kinds of stuff that promise
(16:26):
to help us improve ourrelationship with time, and
those are never bad things.
Having more time, learning to bemore organized, you know, being
more productive is a great idea, and while some of those things
can give us some relief, thetruth is they're probably not
going to fully solve the problemunless you go deep, because the
(16:47):
root cause of your timeperception issue is probably not
going to be solved with theproductivity hacks or the latest
sexy gadget that could help,but the root cause, what's
really causing us the problem,is your brain, and I gave you
the example of how I think abouttime as a container when it
(17:10):
comes to my goals, with thedefined start and stop date Not
helpful at all.
Right, and it's not true.
And no one taught it to meSomehow, I just made it up along
the way, and so most of my lifeI've been putting all this
arbitrary pressure on myselfwhen it comes to achieving goals
and really it's about thoughtsthat got stored away in my brain
(17:31):
.
Time pressure really is aboutbelieving that we don't have
enough time to do what we wantto do, and I think that sentence
says it all Enough time to dowhat we want to do.
What does enough time even mean?
Right, and according toresearch there's been lots of
(17:53):
studies you might imagine doneon time we can find the source
of the problem in our ownmindsets.
After all, think about the waythat I twist my own brain as I
described to you.
When it comes to time.
I have this very limited, weirdview of time as a container,
and each year is a container, asif there's a huge delta between
(18:18):
December 31st and January 1stof each year where we fall off a
cliff.
It's like no, like it just kindof keeps going right and my
goal pursuit could keep going.
But I tell myself that if I'mnot done by December 31st, I
kind of give myself a pass tosort of stop working on it for a
while until January 1st rollsaround again.
You know, we all do that.
(18:40):
You know whether it's aboutgetting promoted within a
calendar year, or losing weightbefore the swim season or the
next birthday.
But the truth of the matter isthat time is a continuum.
So where did this idea in myhead of time being a container
that ends on December 31st evencome from?
(19:00):
Why don't I view now as theperfect time to start anything I
care to and who cares when Ifinish?
Does it have to be done byDecember 31st?
Could it not be done by June30th or September 30th of the
next year, or even a few yearsfrom now?
What does the container of timemean to me, and why does it mean
(19:24):
anything at all?
Because it's silly when youreally think about it from a
logical place.
It's just something my braincame up with earlier in my life.
It got programmed in and now Ihave all this pressure that I
put on myself when Decemberrolls around.
It's super stressful, it'sdemotivating and it really I
(19:47):
decided this week it's not a waythat I want to continue to live
.
It's not something I want tocontinue to believe about time.
And what about?
You know, you might be a superbusy working mother who never
has the time to get to the gymbut still somehow manages to
stay up to date with all thelatest seasons of the Real
(20:10):
Housewives.
Right Again, I'm not judging.
I just lost four hours lastWednesday night to selling
Sunset, so I get it.
Instead of going to the gym, Ijust fetched out with a glass of
red wine and I got lost in thedysfunctional, glamorous lives
that those characters live.
But the truth is that we don'twant to just continue on with
(20:31):
our unconscious and not helpfulbeliefs about time.
Yours may be very differentfrom mine, but I can promise you
that most people in today'ssociety are feeling some form of
time pressure and there'ssomething that you're thinking
about time that is causing yourown time scarcity issues, and
(20:55):
I'm going to give you a fourpart approach to kind of trying
to get underneath your own.
This is the approach I followedto help me unlock my own
viewing of time as a container,and if you do these four steps,
you'll be able to examine yourown thoughts and beliefs about
time and decide which of thoseyou want to keep in and which
(21:15):
you don't.
And, by the way, this approachworks for pretty much any other
problem or challenge you mighthave aside from time.
So the first thing is noticewhat's happening.
When you notice that you'refeeling rushed or pressed for
time.
So when you're feeling anxiousor demotivated or like you're
feeling like panicked about nothaving enough time, you need to
(21:39):
take a pause and ask yourselfwhat triggered it right?
So for me, it was this feelingof I have all these goals I said
I wanted to do and now it'sDecember, so I only have four
more weeks and it's not enoughtime.
That was what triggered it forme.
You may have different thingsthat are causing your time issue
.
It's important to kind of pauseand ask yourself what's going
(22:01):
on, what just triggered thatLike why am I feeling like I
don't have enough time?
And just kind of pause and askyourself what's going on, what
just triggered that Like, why amI feeling like I don't have
enough time?
And just kind of write it down.
You know, write the situationdown, what's happening, and then
the next thing I want you to dois examine, now that you have
the thing written down.
So for me, it was it's Decemberand I don't have enough time to
accomplish my goals.
(22:22):
I want you to kind of look atthat and do what we call a
thought download, and here allyou need to do is just take out
a pen and paper or open up aGoogle doc or whatever, and look
at the situation that you're inthat brought it all up in the
first place and just startwriting.
Ask yourself what you'rethinking, what you're making it
(22:45):
mean that this thing ishappening, every crazy thought
that you have.
Keep writing until you're done,and you should have several
things written down, you know bythe time, like if you run out
of things, just keep askingyourself what else and pause and
let yourself come up withwhatever thing that you're
thinking.
And for this I do like to doone sentence per line, and
(23:10):
because they're all separatethoughts.
That's not when you do athought download.
It's not one paragraph ofthoughts, each thought is
separate, and I think it'shelpful to look at it that way.
It helps you kind of see, kindof see, kind of the dimensions
of the way that you're thinkingabout the thing and just keep
writing until you run out ofthoughts.
(23:31):
There's huge value of seeingthese thoughts down on paper.
And this is where I firstrealized for me oh, I act like
the year's ending or thiscontainer of time has a cliff,
that we fall off on December31st, which, of course, is not
true.
And then I was like where'dthat come from?
Right, but you don't know thatuntil you really examine what
(23:53):
you're thinking about, becausereally the things that your
brain will serve up around time,or any other problem you're
having, will just feel trueuntil you really take a moment
to write it all down and thenexamine it.
And that is number three, whichis once you've written all the
things down, once you've doneyour thought download, I want
(24:17):
you to.
Number three be curious aboutthe thoughts.
So just look at them, look atthe things that you wrote down
and review them.
Don't judge them, don't makeyourself bad or wrong for having
the thought.
Just be curious, because whenyou're curious about them you
can really get underneath theissue.
(24:37):
Because for me, when I startedto realize, oh, for some crazy
reason, I'm looking at a year asa defined container and that it
somehow doesn't carry over intoJanuary and that if I can't get
it done in the year, there's novalue in it and I have to just
stop working on it until Januaryrolls back around, it's so
goofy, it doesn't make any sense, and I say that in, you know,
(25:01):
just kind of making light of itfor myself.
I'm not making myself bad orwrong, but I do find it funny
that I made it mean that itdoesn't make any sense.
So look for where you'retelling yourself things that
just aren't true when it comesto time or your ability to get
things done or whatever Like forme.
(25:23):
As I examined my own thoughtsabout time and goals, I realized
the container thing and so Ireally, as I explored that, I
looked back at all the previousyears and some of the big things
that I wanted to do and some ofthe times when I stopped
working on those things and Irealized that it's the belief
(25:46):
that I had around time as acontainer and that everything
falls off a cliff on December31st and so if I don't get done,
it's hopeless, right that Ihave to start all over again in
January.
None of it was logical and Irealized that that belief was
getting in my way.
But once I became aware of thethought and I examined it, I
(26:08):
realized it wasn't true, that itwas just totally arbitrary and
it was thinking that gotprogrammed in at some point,
probably when I was very young,that none of it served me.
For example, like if my goal wasto lose 20 pounds and let's say
it's, you know, by the end ofthe year.
I made that up and it'sDecember 1.
(26:28):
And why couldn't I start theweight loss now, on December
Well, I guess it's November 28,instead of on January 1.
Sure, I probably wouldn't beable to lose 20 pounds
healthfully anyway, but I mightbe able to lose 20 pounds
healthfully anyway.
But I might be able to losefive or 10 by the end of the
month, by the end of December,and that's five or 10 more
(26:51):
pounds that I have left to losewhen January 1st rolls around.
So it just means that doesn'tmean that it's bad that I didn't
get it done.
It just means I'm further aheadwhen January 1st rolls around,
right?
So why, like, when you do itthat way, when you reason your
way through it, you're like, oh,this is a very unhelpful way of
(27:12):
looking at goals as it relatesto time.
Right Again, you've probablygot your own ways.
But when you start noticingwhat's happening, when you're
feeling rushed for time, andthen you examine what you're
thinking you feeling rushed fortime and then you examine what
you're thinking, you do thatthought download and then you
get curious about your thoughts.
Then you can really explore itand ask yourself if what you
(27:34):
believe about time is actuallyserving you.
You know, because the otherexample is how I told myself
that there wasn't enough timefor me to go to the gym on
Wednesday, but I didn't give athought, I wasn't even conscious
.
Honestly, when I turned onSelling Sunset on Netflix, I
just noticed, oh wow, the newseason's out and I dove right in
(27:57):
and I watched episode afterepisode after episode without
giving it one thought, when thelast conscious thought I'd had
before that was I didn't haveenough time to go to the gym.
The gym would have taken me onehour total from probably, you
know, getting in the car andgetting there to doing the
workout to getting back home,because it's super close, and
(28:20):
yet I spent four hours watchinga Netflix show.
The truth was, when I looked atit, it had nothing to do with
time.
I told myself I didn't haveenough time to go to the gym,
but really I didn't want to goto the gym, right, and that made
me realize that sometimes forme, when I'm facing something I
(28:41):
want to, you know that I say Iwant to do, but I don't really
want to do.
That's kind of a little hard.
I'll soothe myself by insteaddoing something else, that does
feel good, and for me that dayit was about some serious
Netflixing time.
Sometimes it's about otherstuff, so my telling myself that
(29:03):
it was about time scarcitywasn't even true.
I had plenty of time.
I had clearly had four hoursright and I spent it watching
Netflix instead of going to thegym.
So that's the value of noticingwhen you're feeling pressed for
time and then examining thethoughts behind it, because as
you get into it and you getcurious about it, you can
(29:25):
identify the stories that you'retelling yourself about time,
and we all have our own ways oflooking at this, and so it's
super helpful for you to getinto it and start to uncover it,
especially if time is a thingfor you.
And then, lastly, number four,decide what you want to think
about time instead.
This is important because onceyou realize what the issue is,
(29:47):
so for me, my container timething I decided I didn't want to
think about it that way anymore.
That, first of all, it's nottrue, like time just keeps going
as long as we're on this planet.
So I don't think it's helpfulfor me to think anymore that
time is this container and putall this pressure on myself to
(30:08):
kind of get things done withinthat one container.
It's fine to set time-basedgoals it really is but if you
don't end up hitting them onthat date, who cares?
Keep going, you're makingprogress, right.
So I've decided to change how Iwant to think about goals and
time and instead of looking attime as a container which I
(30:34):
honestly, like I said, didn'teven realize I was doing until I
did some self-coaching thispast week I have some new go-to
thoughts.
I'm going to choose to thinkand believe instead.
And now, if there's somethingbig that I want to do and it's
getting late in the year, I'vedecided I'm going to tell myself
I can start this any time Ichoose, or I might just to think
(30:55):
to myself now is the perfecttime to get started.
When I have these new thoughts,they're going to shift me out
of a time scarcity thing or timeas a container narrative, and
instead I'm going to be feelingvery empowered and motivated.
That's because, with these newthoughts, I'm no longer thinking
what if I'm not done in time orthere isn't enough time, and
(31:19):
instead I'm just focusing on thegoal or the outcome itself.
Doesn't matter, it might takeme three years, who cares,
doesn't matter, right?
So when you start thinkingabout that, the time pressure
goes away, right, and you'rejust focused only on what you're
trying to do, that you'retelling yourself is important to
you.
So in the new scenario, itdoesn't matter when I start or
(31:45):
finish, only that I do.
So, bottom line, what I want thetakeaway to be on this episode
is that be aware of how you'respending your time.
If time scarcity is a thing foryou and here, in addition to
the four steps that I just gaveyou, which are super helpful for
dissecting it and getting intoit and understanding your
(32:07):
thought loops around it andthings like that I do think it's
also helpful to journal for aweek or two, just jot down
things that you do that are moremindless or that don't add up
to anything.
So, like the watching the TV,like the Netflix thing, like I
did, or maybe for for you it'sInstagramming or something like
that Not to say those things arebad, I'm not saying that but
(32:30):
when we get lost in that for along period of time, like I did,
there's clearly it's fine.
If that's a choice you want tomake, that's fine, but if you're
doing that instead of doingsomething else that you said was
really important to you.
I think it's important to putthose two things next to each
other and just decide was that agood decision or not, and is it
(32:51):
something I want to do again ornot?
So you know, take note of thehours each day when you're
Netflixing, facebooking,instagramming, talking on the
phone anything that is moremindless and fluff in nature.
More mindless and fluff innature, again, not to judge it,
(33:11):
but just to say be aware ifyou're feeling the time scarcity
is a thing for you.
Be aware of how much timeyou're spending on things that
maybe are less important to you.
Many times when we don't haveenough time to get to the things
that we say we want to do, it'sbecause not always, but many
times it's because we'respending time doing things we
don't even realize we're doingright.
It's amazing how fast an hourof watching Netflix goes by,
(33:35):
right, like I wasn't even awareof time passing, and I spent
four hours watching that entireseason.
The important question for youto ask is is that how I want to
spend the time Right?
And maybe it is.
We all deserve a littledowntime.
There's nothing wrong with anyof it Netflixing, facebooking,
(33:56):
instagramming but just be surethat you like your reason for
doing it and that it's notkeeping you from doing something
else because maybe that otherthing is hard or uncomfortable
or tedious.
You know you don't want to makethose trade-offs unconsciously.
You want to be very consciousof why you're avoiding doing
(34:16):
that thing.
With practice, you can changeyour relationship with time, no
matter how busy or full yourlife is.
It's about trade-offs.
Without time scarcity, lifegets more peaceful and we all
could use more of that.
So here's to doing your ownexploration of time and your
(34:41):
relationship with time andgetting to a place at the
beginning of 2025 when you feellike you, like how your
relationship with time is goingand you no longer feel pressed
for time in the way that youmight do today.
That is what I wish for you for2025.
(35:02):
Until next time, make it a greatweek.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
(35:34):
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(35:55):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 216.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, friends.
I hope you had an amazing week.
(00:41):
It is almost the end of Januarywhen this episode comes out, and
that was kind of an epiphanyfor me.
This week I got a little bitpanicked because I have not
gotten everything done that Iwanted to get done in January
and that brought up all kinds ofbaggage about time.
(01:04):
And so today we are going totalk about time, my friends,
because we can do a number onourself in this day and age
around what it means to haveenough time.
That can be just as it relatesto just trying to fit everything
in in a given day or a givenweek, just with all the
(01:26):
different things we have goingon in our lives, but it can also
be something that by the timewe get to midlife so those years
between 39 and your mid-60sthat's when we can really do a
number and really at a much morehigh level or global scale,
start telling ourselves thingslike we just don't have enough
(01:47):
time left on the clock of ourlife to get everything done.
So time is a thing and we allhave our different ways of
dealing with it.
We all have our differentstories that we're telling
ourselves about time, and that'swhat I want to help you examine
today.
(02:07):
In this episode.
I'm going to offer you up aquick little exercise four
things that you can do toexamine your unconscious beliefs
about time.
I think it's going to make abig difference in how you look
at the year and maybe your lifeand your ability to get all the
things done that you want to getdone.
(02:28):
So enjoy this episode on time.
I started the year off with abang.
I had a list of things that Iwas going to get done.
I have a ton of goals for thisyear.
I'm spinning up anotherbusiness, I've got structured
schedule around writing becauseI'm starting to write books
(02:50):
again.
So my days are very scheduledand I started off January with a
bang.
But while I'm still on pace,sort of, I did look up about
five days ago when thisepisode's being recorded like.
It was like the 20th of Januaryand I got panicked because
(03:12):
there were certain milestonesthat I promised myself that I
would hit by the end of Januaryto stay on pace, and some I'm
going to hit and some importantones I'm not, and I could feel
myself starting to panic andtelling myself all these things
around time I'm not going to beable to get the things done this
(03:34):
year that I wanted to get doneand I was trying to cram too
much in and that, you know, Ijust don't have enough time, and
I felt kind of panicked aboutit.
And so that is something that Iwanted to explore on this
episode, because the truth isthat when I really stepped back
(03:56):
from it is it true that I'm offpace on some things?
Yes, it is, but what does thepace even mean and do I need it?
I was kind of starting to do anumber on myself on what I was
making the end of this monthmean in relation to my ability
to get the things done I want toget done this year, and so I
(04:17):
thought it was reallyinteresting.
What I realized was tellingmyself because I actually I'm
going to walk you through laterin this episode, four steps that
you can take to uncover yourown unconscious beliefs around
time, and I think it'll be veryhelpful because for me, it
helped me unwind this very, verycomplicated narrative that I
(04:40):
had around time that I'vedecided I don't want to believe
anymore.
It's not true.
It's just a bunch of thingsthat I've come to make time mean
, and all it really does isstress me out and, in some cases
, pushes me off the path of whatI want to achieve.
And before I go any further, Ijust want to say that all those
(05:02):
things that I just said are juststories that I'm telling myself
.
None of them are true.
Telling myself that there's onlya week left in January, and
years, if that matters.
Telling myself that it's asuper busy month and that
because of that I won't havetime to finish the things that I
said I wanted to get done thismonth.
(05:23):
All of those are just thingsthat I'm telling myself to get
done this month.
All of those are just thingsthat I'm telling myself they're
not true, even though to me theyfeel true, right, they're just
things that my brain has madetime mean, and we'll talk about
this more in a minute.
But it's interesting because,as I started to look at it this
week.
As I looked at the time left inJanuary, I felt that stab of
(05:46):
panic.
I thought what is coming up forme when it relates to time?
Like what am I thinking?
Here?
I'll share some of my own weirdthoughts about time, because
you probably have some thoughtsof your own that may or may not
be serving you.
I look at time as a container,and it's just an odd thing that
my brain does, but there's astart date and an end date, and
(06:08):
I look at my goals as do I haveenough time to accomplish them
by the end date, as if the enddate even matters.
We'll talk about more on thisin a minute, but when I explored
my own thoughts and beliefsabout time, it made me think
about others that I've workedwith, or people in my family or
(06:28):
friends.
We all talk about time andspecifically, so many of us
today believe we don't haveenough time or that we're
constantly feeling pressed fortime, and that's why I thought
time would be a reallyinteresting thing to talk about
today, since we're a month intothe year, so let's go ahead and
(06:51):
dive in Now.
We do all have different livesand different pressures on
ourselves with time, but for mewhen I looked at, oh gosh, it's
almost February already.
That's what brought up the timeissue for me.
It's probably different for you, but by sharing my own thoughts
around this, maybe it'll helpyou think through how you look
(07:14):
at time and whether or not it'sin a way that's serving you.
So I like to be goal oriented.
I'm not saying I alwaysaccomplish everything I set out
to do, but I do like havinggoals and I like feeling like
I'm moving forward in my lifeand there are certain points in
the year.
So if I set goals, usuallynaturally in January, there are
(07:36):
certain points in the year whenI'll look back to evaluate how
am I doing against those goalsthat I set.
And I'll do this to evaluatewhether I've used my time wisely
.
But depending on what time ofyear it is, the outcome that I
have or how I feel about mygoals usually varies widely and
(07:57):
it has to do with I realizedjust recently with how I look at
time.
So when I do it in June, july,and I look back to see how I'm
doing against my goals, I feelsuper motivated, even if I have
mixed results or even if Ihaven't even started on some of
the goals yet, and that'sbecause I'm telling myself
(08:19):
things like well, I may not havegotten to that yet, but I still
have six months left in theyear, and I'm making that mean
that I still have plenty of timeleft to get things done, to
really accomplish the thingsthat I said were important to me
this year, and that makes mefeel motivated and so, as a
result, I'm usually inspired todive back in with renewed focus
(08:42):
and energy.
Back in with renewed focus andenergy.
But in early December it's acompletely different experience
for me.
Now we're at the end of theyear.
So remember, I told you I'verealized I think of time as a
defined container and I think ofeach year as a different
container.
It makes no sense, but it issomething that goes on in my
(09:04):
brain.
So when we're at the end of theyear and I look back to see how
I'm doing against my goals evenif I have accomplished a lot of
them I tend to feel superpanicked because I tell myself I
don't have a lot of time leftto go after that goal.
I tell myself that the year'sbasically behind me and it's too
late to get anything newaccomplished.
(09:26):
Now again, none of thosethoughts serve me.
None of them are true.
The year doesn't end.
I mean the year does.
The calendar year ends inDecember, but my ability to
continue going out to that goalcould continue into the new year
.
There's nothing preventing mefrom doing it.
Nothing said I had to finishthat goal by the end of December
(09:49):
.
Sure, I might have said itwould be nice to do, but is
anything really going to?
You know, is the earth going tocome to an end if I don't
totally finish the goal by theend of December?
If it takes me until March,like it doesn't make any sense
for me to feel that way and tocompletely stop working on
(10:09):
things which I do, by the way,when we get to early December,
because I tell myself there'snot enough time left.
So when I tell myself that Ifeel really demotivated and that
usually means that I don't doanother thing about those goals
until January I'll just sweepthem under the metal rug and
just worry about it next year.
(10:31):
So I realized that somewherealong the line in my life I
started thinking of time as acontainer and that there's a
defined start and stop date andthat I have to be able to
accomplish things within thatcontainer of time.
So I view time in buckets and Imake myself have to accomplish
(10:56):
things within that bucket and ifI can't, I'll just give up on
the thing until I get into a newcontainer of time.
It makes no sense from alogical perspective, but I'm
just telling you all thisbecause it's how our brains work
.
Yours may or may not view itthe same way as I do.
You might have your own littleglitches when it comes to time,
(11:18):
but it's important to take alook at those things because
they can really get in our way.
Those things, because they canreally get in our way.
And time is a precious thing.
We all have the same amount oftime, the same 24 hours, but
I've found that it's usuallyless about the amount of time we
have or the things that we haveto get done in that time, and
more about what we're tellingourselves that that time means.
(11:41):
That gets in our way.
We can start our goals anytimewe choose, and what difference
in my case does it honestly makeif we accomplish them within
the calendar year or not?
It's a completely made up thingthat I have that I have to
finish it by year's end, right?
I don't.
Some goals could take three orfour years.
(12:03):
It's just fine, like whatdifference does it make if I
finish it in December of 2025 orif I finish it in September of
2026?
It doesn't matter, it'scompletely made up.
And yet this is something I'vedone to myself my whole life,
and what it's done is it's takensome big goals that I could
honestly continue makingprogress on and I'll just sort
(12:26):
of completely opt out of themand I'll kind of restart the
effort on January 1st.
Can you relate to this Like?
A good analogy of this thatI've noticed with a lot of my
clients and even my friendsrelates to weight loss.
You know, with a lot of myclients they'll ask themselves
maybe they want to lose 10, 20pounds or whatever, and they'll
(12:47):
say do I have enough time to getto my goal weight before
swimsuit season?
And if the answer to that is no, then it's like oh well,
there's not enough time, sobring on the cupcakes, right.
Or for you the time thing maybe different.
Like, you may be a parent, youmay have a couple of kids and
all of them are involved inactivities and that, coupled
(13:08):
with your job and your dailylife, might have you in a
constant state of feeling likethere's just not enough time to
get everything done for myfamily and my household, let
alone tackling important thingsthat I want to do for myself
personally.
(13:33):
And while you're legitimatelybusy, you might still find
yourself spending hoursscrolling Instagram or doing
like I did last Wednesdaygetting lost in binge watching
the new season of Selling Sunset.
That's what I did on Wednesdaynight instead of going to the
gym of selling sunset.
That's what I did on Wednesdaynight instead of going to the
gym.
What about that time, thevegging out time?
It's always interesting to mehow I can personally feel like
(13:53):
there's not enough time to dothe things I want to do because
I'm so busy.
And yet on Wednesday night at10 o'clock, I'm like did I
really just spend four hourswatching an entire new season of
Selling Sunset on Netflix?
What other things, like goingto the gym, could I have done
(14:14):
with those four hours if I'dbeen making a conscious choice
of how to spend the time, versusjust plopping down in front of
Netflix?
It's an interesting question.
Versus just plopping down infront of Netflix?
It's an interesting question,and there's a book called
Pressed for Time that's superinteresting if you're interested
in this concept and shebasically says that we live in
(14:35):
an age of paradox when it comesto time.
We work as much as if nothonestly less than people did a
half century ago.
I think there's three hoursless in our work week.
Now it's 37 on average versus40.
And I know a lot of us say wework 60 hours or whatever and
sometimes we do because I'vedone that myself but you know,
the truth is usually there areperiods of time when we're
(14:58):
working on a normal schedule andmost of us are in less
physically taxing jobs thanmaybe our relatives were 50
years ago.
And yet today, in the modernworld, with all of our
technological advances and allthe amenities and all the cushy
jobs and all the stuff, weexperience more scarcity of time
than we have at any point inhuman history.
(15:22):
And the book Press for Timecalls this the time pressure
paradox and I thought it wasinteresting.
She says it's driven by threethings.
The first is that there's anundeniable rapid pace of
technological change.
So all the sexy little gadgetsand techie innovations and
(15:43):
Netflix, things like that,facebook, instagram that steal
our time.
Second, there's theacceleration of social change,
so we've got constantly shiftingparadigms around business and
family and societal structuresthat are putting more pressure
or more ambiguity around time.
(16:04):
And then three, the acceleratedpace of life, so again driven
largely by all the technologicaland social change.
You know, we've just got thissuper feeling of just a really
fast pace, and there are endlessbooks and software programs and
tech devices and coaches andall kinds of stuff that promise
(16:26):
to help us improve ourrelationship with time, and
those are never bad things.
Having more time, learning to bemore organized, you know, being
more productive is a great idea, and while some of those things
can give us some relief, thetruth is they're probably not
going to fully solve the problemunless you go deep, because the
(16:47):
root cause of your timeperception issue is probably not
going to be solved with theproductivity hacks or the latest
sexy gadget that could help,but the root cause, what's
really causing us the problem,is your brain, and I gave you
the example of how I think abouttime as a container when it
(17:10):
comes to my goals, with thedefined start and stop date Not
helpful at all.
Right, and it's not true.
And no one taught it to meSomehow, I just made it up along
the way, and so most of my lifeI've been putting all this
arbitrary pressure on myselfwhen it comes to achieving goals
and really it's about thoughtsthat got stored away in my brain
(17:31):
.
Time pressure really is aboutbelieving that we don't have
enough time to do what we wantto do, and I think that sentence
says it all Enough time to dowhat we want to do.
What does enough time even mean?
Right, and according toresearch there's been lots of
(17:53):
studies you might imagine doneon time we can find the source
of the problem in our ownmindsets.
After all, think about the waythat I twist my own brain as I
described to you.
When it comes to time.
I have this very limited, weirdview of time as a container,
and each year is a container, asif there's a huge delta between
(18:18):
December 31st and January 1stof each year where we fall off a
cliff.
It's like no, like it just kindof keeps going right and my
goal pursuit could keep going.
But I tell myself that if I'mnot done by December 31st, I
kind of give myself a pass tosort of stop working on it for a
while until January 1st rollsaround again.
You know, we all do that.
(18:40):
You know whether it's aboutgetting promoted within a
calendar year, or losing weightbefore the swim season or the
next birthday.
But the truth of the matter isthat time is a continuum.
So where did this idea in myhead of time being a container
that ends on December 31st evencome from?
(19:00):
Why don't I view now as theperfect time to start anything I
care to and who cares when Ifinish?
Does it have to be done byDecember 31st?
Could it not be done by June30th or September 30th of the
next year, or even a few yearsfrom now?
What does the container of timemean to me, and why does it mean
(19:24):
anything at all?
Because it's silly when youreally think about it from a
logical place.
It's just something my braincame up with earlier in my life.
It got programmed in and now Ihave all this pressure that I
put on myself when Decemberrolls around.
It's super stressful, it'sdemotivating and it really I
(19:47):
decided this week it's not a waythat I want to continue to live
.
It's not something I want tocontinue to believe about time.
And what about?
You know, you might be a superbusy working mother who never
has the time to get to the gymbut still somehow manages to
stay up to date with all thelatest seasons of the Real
(20:10):
Housewives.
Right Again, I'm not judging.
I just lost four hours lastWednesday night to selling
Sunset, so I get it.
Instead of going to the gym, Ijust fetched out with a glass of
red wine and I got lost in thedysfunctional, glamorous lives
that those characters live.
But the truth is that we don'twant to just continue on with
(20:31):
our unconscious and not helpfulbeliefs about time.
Yours may be very differentfrom mine, but I can promise you
that most people in today'ssociety are feeling some form of
time pressure and there'ssomething that you're thinking
about time that is causing yourown time scarcity issues, and
(20:55):
I'm going to give you a fourpart approach to kind of trying
to get underneath your own.
This is the approach I followedto help me unlock my own
viewing of time as a container,and if you do these four steps,
you'll be able to examine yourown thoughts and beliefs about
time and decide which of thoseyou want to keep in and which
(21:15):
you don't.
And, by the way, this approachworks for pretty much any other
problem or challenge you mighthave aside from time.
So the first thing is noticewhat's happening.
When you notice that you'refeeling rushed or pressed for
time.
So when you're feeling anxiousor demotivated or like you're
feeling like panicked about nothaving enough time, you need to
(21:39):
take a pause and ask yourselfwhat triggered it right?
So for me, it was this feelingof I have all these goals I said
I wanted to do and now it'sDecember, so I only have four
more weeks and it's not enoughtime.
That was what triggered it forme.
You may have different thingsthat are causing your time issue
.
It's important to kind of pauseand ask yourself what's going
(22:01):
on, what just triggered thatLike why am I feeling like I
don't have enough time?
And just kind of pause and askyourself what's going on, what
just triggered that Like, why amI feeling like I don't have
enough time?
And just kind of write it down.
You know, write the situationdown, what's happening, and then
the next thing I want you to dois examine, now that you have
the thing written down.
So for me, it was it's Decemberand I don't have enough time to
accomplish my goals.
(22:22):
I want you to kind of look atthat and do what we call a
thought download, and here allyou need to do is just take out
a pen and paper or open up aGoogle doc or whatever, and look
at the situation that you're inthat brought it all up in the
first place and just startwriting.
Ask yourself what you'rethinking, what you're making it
(22:45):
mean that this thing ishappening, every crazy thought
that you have.
Keep writing until you're done,and you should have several
things written down, you know bythe time, like if you run out
of things, just keep askingyourself what else and pause and
let yourself come up withwhatever thing that you're
thinking.
And for this I do like to doone sentence per line, and
(23:10):
because they're all separatethoughts.
That's not when you do athought download.
It's not one paragraph ofthoughts, each thought is
separate, and I think it'shelpful to look at it that way.
It helps you kind of see, kindof see, kind of the dimensions
of the way that you're thinkingabout the thing and just keep
writing until you run out ofthoughts.
(23:31):
There's huge value of seeingthese thoughts down on paper.
And this is where I firstrealized for me oh, I act like
the year's ending or thiscontainer of time has a cliff,
that we fall off on December31st, which, of course, is not
true.
And then I was like where'dthat come from?
Right, but you don't know thatuntil you really examine what
(23:53):
you're thinking about, becausereally the things that your
brain will serve up around time,or any other problem you're
having, will just feel trueuntil you really take a moment
to write it all down and thenexamine it.
And that is number three, whichis once you've written all the
things down, once you've doneyour thought download, I want
(24:17):
you to.
Number three be curious aboutthe thoughts.
So just look at them, look atthe things that you wrote down
and review them.
Don't judge them, don't makeyourself bad or wrong for having
the thought.
Just be curious, because whenyou're curious about them you
can really get underneath theissue.
(24:37):
Because for me, when I startedto realize, oh, for some crazy
reason, I'm looking at a year asa defined container and that it
somehow doesn't carry over intoJanuary and that if I can't get
it done in the year, there's novalue in it and I have to just
stop working on it until Januaryrolls back around, it's so
goofy, it doesn't make any sense, and I say that in, you know,
(25:01):
just kind of making light of itfor myself.
I'm not making myself bad orwrong, but I do find it funny
that I made it mean that itdoesn't make any sense.
So look for where you'retelling yourself things that
just aren't true when it comesto time or your ability to get
things done or whatever Like forme.
(25:23):
As I examined my own thoughtsabout time and goals, I realized
the container thing and so Ireally, as I explored that, I
looked back at all the previousyears and some of the big things
that I wanted to do and some ofthe times when I stopped
working on those things and Irealized that it's the belief
(25:46):
that I had around time as acontainer and that everything
falls off a cliff on December31st and so if I don't get done,
it's hopeless, right that Ihave to start all over again in
January.
None of it was logical and Irealized that that belief was
getting in my way.
But once I became aware of thethought and I examined it, I
(26:08):
realized it wasn't true, that itwas just totally arbitrary and
it was thinking that gotprogrammed in at some point,
probably when I was very young,that none of it served me.
For example, like if my goal wasto lose 20 pounds and let's say
it's, you know, by the end ofthe year.
I made that up and it'sDecember 1.
(26:28):
And why couldn't I start theweight loss now, on December
Well, I guess it's November 28,instead of on January 1.
Sure, I probably wouldn't beable to lose 20 pounds
healthfully anyway, but I mightbe able to lose 20 pounds
healthfully anyway.
But I might be able to losefive or 10 by the end of the
month, by the end of December,and that's five or 10 more
(26:51):
pounds that I have left to losewhen January 1st rolls around.
So it just means that doesn'tmean that it's bad that I didn't
get it done.
It just means I'm further aheadwhen January 1st rolls around,
right?
So why, like, when you do itthat way, when you reason your
way through it, you're like, oh,this is a very unhelpful way of
(27:12):
looking at goals as it relatesto time.
Right Again, you've probablygot your own ways.
But when you start noticingwhat's happening, when you're
feeling rushed for time, andthen you examine what you're
thinking you feeling rushed fortime and then you examine what
you're thinking, you do thatthought download and then you
get curious about your thoughts.
Then you can really explore itand ask yourself if what you
(27:34):
believe about time is actuallyserving you.
You know, because the otherexample is how I told myself
that there wasn't enough timefor me to go to the gym on
Wednesday, but I didn't give athought, I wasn't even conscious
.
Honestly, when I turned onSelling Sunset on Netflix, I
just noticed, oh wow, the newseason's out and I dove right in
(27:57):
and I watched episode afterepisode after episode without
giving it one thought, when thelast conscious thought I'd had
before that was I didn't haveenough time to go to the gym.
The gym would have taken me onehour total from probably, you
know, getting in the car andgetting there to doing the
workout to getting back home,because it's super close, and
(28:20):
yet I spent four hours watchinga Netflix show.
The truth was, when I looked atit, it had nothing to do with
time.
I told myself I didn't haveenough time to go to the gym,
but really I didn't want to goto the gym, right, and that made
me realize that sometimes forme, when I'm facing something I
(28:41):
want to, you know that I say Iwant to do, but I don't really
want to do.
That's kind of a little hard.
I'll soothe myself by insteaddoing something else, that does
feel good, and for me that dayit was about some serious
Netflixing time.
Sometimes it's about otherstuff, so my telling myself that
(29:03):
it was about time scarcitywasn't even true.
I had plenty of time.
I had clearly had four hoursright and I spent it watching
Netflix instead of going to thegym.
So that's the value of noticingwhen you're feeling pressed for
time and then examining thethoughts behind it, because as
you get into it and you getcurious about it, you can
(29:25):
identify the stories that you'retelling yourself about time,
and we all have our own ways oflooking at this, and so it's
super helpful for you to getinto it and start to uncover it,
especially if time is a thingfor you.
And then, lastly, number four,decide what you want to think
about time instead.
This is important because onceyou realize what the issue is,
(29:47):
so for me, my container timething I decided I didn't want to
think about it that way anymore.
That, first of all, it's nottrue, like time just keeps going
as long as we're on this planet.
So I don't think it's helpfulfor me to think anymore that
time is this container and putall this pressure on myself to
(30:08):
kind of get things done withinthat one container.
It's fine to set time-basedgoals it really is but if you
don't end up hitting them onthat date, who cares?
Keep going, you're makingprogress, right.
So I've decided to change how Iwant to think about goals and
time and instead of looking attime as a container which I
(30:34):
honestly, like I said, didn'teven realize I was doing until I
did some self-coaching thispast week I have some new go-to
thoughts.
I'm going to choose to thinkand believe instead.
And now, if there's somethingbig that I want to do and it's
getting late in the year, I'vedecided I'm going to tell myself
I can start this any time Ichoose, or I might just to think
(30:55):
to myself now is the perfecttime to get started.
When I have these new thoughts,they're going to shift me out
of a time scarcity thing or timeas a container narrative, and
instead I'm going to be feelingvery empowered and motivated.
That's because, with these newthoughts, I'm no longer thinking
what if I'm not done in time orthere isn't enough time, and
(31:19):
instead I'm just focusing on thegoal or the outcome itself.
Doesn't matter, it might takeme three years, who cares,
doesn't matter, right?
So when you start thinkingabout that, the time pressure
goes away, right, and you'rejust focused only on what you're
trying to do, that you'retelling yourself is important to
you.
So in the new scenario, itdoesn't matter when I start or
(31:45):
finish, only that I do.
So, bottom line, what I want thetakeaway to be on this episode
is that be aware of how you'respending your time.
If time scarcity is a thing foryou and here, in addition to
the four steps that I just gaveyou, which are super helpful for
dissecting it and getting intoit and understanding your
(32:07):
thought loops around it andthings like that I do think it's
also helpful to journal for aweek or two, just jot down
things that you do that are moremindless or that don't add up
to anything.
So, like the watching the TV,like the Netflix thing, like I
did, or maybe for for you it'sInstagramming or something like
that Not to say those things arebad, I'm not saying that but
(32:30):
when we get lost in that for along period of time, like I did,
there's clearly it's fine.
If that's a choice you want tomake, that's fine, but if you're
doing that instead of doingsomething else that you said was
really important to you.
I think it's important to putthose two things next to each
other and just decide was that agood decision or not, and is it
(32:51):
something I want to do again ornot?
So you know, take note of thehours each day when you're
Netflixing, facebooking,instagramming, talking on the
phone anything that is moremindless and fluff in nature.
More mindless and fluff innature, again, not to judge it,
(33:11):
but just to say be aware ifyou're feeling the time scarcity
is a thing for you.
Be aware of how much timeyou're spending on things that
maybe are less important to you.
Many times when we don't haveenough time to get to the things
that we say we want to do, it'sbecause not always, but many
times it's because we'respending time doing things we
don't even realize we're doingright.
It's amazing how fast an hourof watching Netflix goes by,
(33:35):
right, like I wasn't even awareof time passing, and I spent
four hours watching that entireseason.
The important question for youto ask is is that how I want to
spend the time Right?
And maybe it is.
We all deserve a littledowntime.
There's nothing wrong with anyof it Netflixing, facebooking,
(33:56):
instagramming but just be surethat you like your reason for
doing it and that it's notkeeping you from doing something
else because maybe that otherthing is hard or uncomfortable
or tedious.
You know you don't want to makethose trade-offs unconsciously.
You want to be very consciousof why you're avoiding doing
(34:16):
that thing.
With practice, you can changeyour relationship with time, no
matter how busy or full yourlife is.
It's about trade-offs.
Without time scarcity, lifegets more peaceful and we all
could use more of that.
So here's to doing your ownexploration of time and your
(34:41):
relationship with time andgetting to a place at the
beginning of 2025 when you feellike you, like how your
relationship with time is goingand you no longer feel pressed
for time in the way that youmight do today.
That is what I wish for you for2025.
(35:02):
Until next time, make it a greatweek.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
(35:34):
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(35:55):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.