March 8, 2025 • 29 mins
Do you feel at the mercy of your thoughts when faced with life's challenges? We're unveiling the transformative power of intentional thought direction in this illuminating episode about taming what "the mental mess" that happens in our brain every day.
When overwhelming events occur—whether political turmoil, job loss, or illness of a loved one—most people believe their emotional responses are inevitable consequences of these circumstances. Hudson challenges this assumption, revealing that our 60,000 daily thoughts typically operate below our conscious awareness, yet dramatically influence how we experience life. The game-changing insight? You don't have to accept what your brain initially serves up.
Through personal stories and practical wisdom, Hudson demonstrates how shifting perspectives during difficult times isn't about denying reality or practicing toxic positivity. Rather, it's about consciously choosing thoughts that allow you to show up as your best self despite challenging circumstances. She shares how, when faced with a loved one's illness amid career changes, she redirected her thinking from helplessness to gratitude for their time together—a choice that transformed her ability to be present and supportive.
The cornerstone of this mental self-command is a simple yet powerful 20-minute morning practice called the "thought download." By transferring your unfiltered thoughts to paper, examining them without judgment, and intentionally selecting which ones to keep or replace, you establish yourself as the driver of your mental life rather than a passenger.
Ready to take the steering wheel of your thought life? This practice doesn't just change how you feel—it transforms how you respond to everything life throws your way, putting you back in control when the world feels anything but controllable.
Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 222.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, my friend.
I hope you had an amazing week.
(00:41):
Today we're going to talk aboutsomething that is not only
important because it is, but, Ithink, incredibly relevant to
all of us living in the worldtoday, given all of the
political upheaval and tradewars and crazy going on between
(01:05):
countries within country.
This podcast and what I'm goingto talk about, which is going
to make you feel, I think, moreable to deal with it, it's very
important to talk about rightnow.
I know for me, I've long been anews junkie.
I love it and I feel likethat's been taken away from me.
Use junkie I love it and I feellike that's been taken away
(01:27):
from me.
It's something that I've had toedit out of my life and only
take it in very short doses,because I'm just not aligned
with what's going on and I can'tchange what's going on, but I
can change how much attention Igive to it and I can change what
I do about it, from my ownthoughts, my own decisions,
things like that.
So this podcast today is notabout politics, but it's going
(01:51):
to help you deal with anythingthat's going on in your life.
Maybe it's the loss of a job,maybe it's getting passed over
for promotion, maybe it's thehealth of a loved one, maybe
it's some sort of financialsetback, maybe it's like with me
.
For you it's this geopoliticalstrife that's going on.
(02:11):
Whatever it is, this podcastwill help because we are not in
control of everything thathappens in our life.
All we can do is our best tomake the best decisions, to
choose who we vote for, tochoose the job we think is best
for us, to take the best care ofourselves.
(02:32):
But at the end of the day,there's a whole lot of things
that are going to happen thatdon't align with that, and so we
have to exercise theself-discipline and mental
self-command to proactivelydirect our life and our
day-to-day in the way that wethink is going to allow us to
(02:55):
show up our best, not only forourself, but for our employer,
for our family and ourcommunities right.
So I think this episode isgoing to help.
If there's anything you'restruggling with, this episode
will give you perspective on,maybe a different way to start
your day that's more intentional, that allows you to feel like
(03:19):
in a world where sometimesthings can feel a little out of
control, to feel like you have abit more control over your life
maybe not everything, but yourlife, and that's the key.
We all need to feel that and Iwant you to feel that and that's
why I wanted to share this withyou today.
(03:41):
So enjoy this episode onintentionally directing your day
.
Today I want to talk about howto bring your brain back to
neutral, no matter whatchallenges are going on in your
work or life, how to practiceself-command when it comes to
(04:03):
what you choose to think aboutyou, about your possibilities,
about your work, about thechallenges going on all of it.
Because when it comes to makingthe most of life, I think most
of us would agree that life iswhat we make of it.
We know that we're all going tohave challenges and most of us
(04:25):
intuitively get that ourattitude determines our altitude
, or that we need to makelemonade from the lemons, or
whatever cliche you want to use.
But guess what?
Very few of us know how todirect our thought life, how to
(04:46):
think on purpose, not justoccasionally, but every day, as
often as possible throughout theday.
And why is that?
It's because we're not taughtthis.
And when you stop to thinkabout it, I think it's really
interesting that very little ofwhat we learn teaches us how to
(05:09):
manage what actually equates toa very super powerful computer
processor that is inside ourhead, our brain, right?
We have zero idea of how toconsistently make our brain work
for us instead of just being onautopilot.
(05:31):
And because of that, even themost disciplined personal
development devotee willexperience a hit or miss kind of
life, right?
And your average person doesn'teven know that their brain is
theirs to direct and that theway they feel every day doesn't
just happen, it's not random, itdoesn't just happen because of
(05:55):
what's going on around us.
It happens because of a thoughtthat we're thinking.
Most of the time, that thoughtis in our subconscious, so we're
not even aware of it.
Really it's just there, right?
And because it's just there, wethink it's true, but really
(06:15):
it's just a thought.
And that thought, if it doesn'tserve us, might cause us to
feel crappy or scared or sad orpissed off or angry, whatever.
It's not the situation that'sgoing on.
And here is where I want topause for a minute and say that
(06:38):
and I used to think the same waytoo, so I'm not judging, but
this is the point where peoplewho are new to this concept
sometimes jump in and say butthere's all these bad things
that happen sickness, death,financial troubles, job loss and
they say those things are justbad, and I can't tell myself
(06:59):
that they're good.
And so I want to set the recordstraight yes, bad things happen
, and the answer to the badthings is not to try to tell
yourself that they're actuallyreally a good thing, because,
you know, the key is to realizethat the human experience is
(07:23):
always going to be part good andpart bad, part what we want and
part what we hate.
Right, and sometimes we havethe ability to change bad to
good, not to pretend thatsomething tragic is something
wonderful, but instead to have adifferent perspective on it,
(07:46):
something that allows us to tapinto some of the good that might
be a part of that situation.
I'll talk more about that in aminute.
So what I want you to knowmostly is that today, I'm not
going to talk about magicalthinking.
I'm not going to tell you totry to turn everything that
happens to you into sunshine anddaisies.
(08:08):
It's not realistic and it won'twork anyway, but what I do want
to talk about today is how totake charge of your thought life
, how to decide, on purpose,what you want to think about the
things that are going on inyour life, how you want to think
(08:29):
about you and yourpossibilities, how you want to
think about the people in yourlife, how you want to think
about your job, how you want tothink about your boss, how you
want to think about anything,because that is the thing that
you get to choose anything,because that is the thing that
you get to choose.
Right, it doesn't matter what'sgoing on.
(08:50):
You get to decide how you wantto think about it.
I'm going to go more into thisin a little bit, but most of us
think, though, that the thingsthat happen to us are just the
way they are, and that, becauseof the way they are, we just
feel the way we feel, and it'sbecause of what's going on, like
it's all a random thing that'scaused by the situation that's
(09:10):
going on in our life.
But what I want to talk abouttoday is how to grab the mental
steering wheel in your career,in life, how to navigate all the
challenges that come up for you, and how to steer your thoughts
, emotions and actions in thedirection that you want to go,
(09:33):
that takes you toward the thingsthat you want, instead of
further away from what you want.
And I'm calling this clearingout the mental mess.
So let's dive in Now.
You might be wondering why am Icalling it the mental mess?
And I call it that because, ashumans, we all have a constantly
(09:57):
running inner dialogue.
Sometimes we're more aware ofit than others, but it's that
voice in our head, more aware ofit than others, but it's that
voice in our head, and I'veshared before on this podcast.
But the truth is thatneuroscientists say that we have
about, on average, 60,000thoughts a day.
So, of course, with that manythoughts running in a constant
(10:19):
stream, kind of like that tickerat the bottom of the 24 hour
news channel, we are not alwaysgoing to be aware of them.
Sometimes we are, but I wouldsay most of the time we're not.
And, honestly, as I've grown mycoaching practice and as I've
learned how to do my own dailyself-coaching and I've worked
(10:40):
with my own private life coach.
Yes, life coaches have lifecoaches.
I realize more and more everyday that most people have almost
zero awareness of what'sactually going on in their head.
Even people who are really intoself-development, even
(11:02):
psychologists, evenneuroscientists, even life
coaches, will tell you that ifthey don't have a daily practice
in self-coaching, somediscipline that they follow,
that gives them a constantawareness of what's going on in
their head, they will veryquickly lose touch with all the
(11:22):
ways that their brain isactually working against.
Again, because we're not taughthow the brain works, how
thoughts and experiences arestored away and become
repetitive patterns of thought.
It's very easy to think thatthe thoughts that we have that
just come up are just accurateinterpretations of what is going
(11:44):
on.
But they're not.
They're really just a thought,probably coming from old things
that got stored away.
That's it, and you get to choosewhat you want to think about
anything that's going on, eventhe saddest thing, even the
scariest thing, even the mostcatastrophic thing.
(12:07):
You don't have to accept whatyour brain serves up as the
first option.
You can, if you think thatthat's what you want to think.
But you can choose somethingdifferent that you want to think
instead.
Like, for example, let's saythat you think everything's
(12:30):
humming along just fine at workand then, out of the blue, you
get called into the boss's.
Say that you think everything'shumming along just fine at work
and then, out of the blue, youget called into the boss's
office and you lose your job.
Yes, that might be a veryunexpected event, probably
unwelcome, most likely scary,certain to cause all kinds of
(12:50):
self-doubt about your future.
But having helped a lot ofpeople through it my clients you
get to decide what the job lossmeans.
Does it mean a greatopportunity to choose a new
career path or does it meanyou're doomed and that you're
never going to find somethingbetter or as good?
(13:11):
Or let's take it to yourpersonal life.
Let's say that you get somenews that a loved one is very
ill.
I've gone through somethingsimilar and it's very sad.
It is overwhelming sometimes Onsome days, given everything
else that goes on in justregular life, it seems
impossible to deal with and evento comprehend.
(13:32):
But because I've learned thispractice, here's what I decided
to do I decided to be grateful.
Grateful for all the time thatwe did have and for the days
that we were able to spendtogether, for everything that we
experienced together and forhow grateful I am that this
(13:57):
person was in my life.
And while going through that, Ichose to make some adjustments,
on purpose, even though theyweren't easy.
I chose to adjust my own lifeand my own schedule so that I
could be there to help care formy loved one in their final days
(14:19):
.
It doesn't mean it isn't sad.
It is, and it felt reallyalmost like too much sometimes.
Almost like too much sometimes,but because I decided what I
wanted it to mean and basically,I decided what I wanted to do
(14:43):
about it.
It means that in the time thatwe had left together, I got to
show up in the way that I wantto.
In the time that we had left, Iwasn't focused on the
unfairness or the sadness of itall.
Instead, I got to focus on whatI could do to honor everything
that we had.
That's what I'm talking about.
There's 7 billion people on theplanet.
We're all going through acombination of the good and the
(15:05):
bad, and the sad and thewonderful, and it's about life
and the truth is that it rarelygoes exactly as planned right,
and when you throw careerambitions and corporate politics
and money and bosses and healthand all the people around you
(15:28):
into that same pot of messy lifestew, all the people around you
into that same pot of messylife stew.
It can at times feel too much,because the complexities happen
when you least expect it.
Right, everything will behumming along.
You get the big job opportunityand then boom, your spouse
loses their job.
Or you get engaged and thenboom, like me, a family member
(15:51):
gets sick.
Or you get promoted and thenboom, like me, a family member
gets sick.
Or you get promoted and thenboom, your child needs more from
you at home.
Or maybe they get sick.
And then what happens?
If you're not careful, yourbrain kicks in and it's going to
tell you that you can't dealwith it, that it's too much, or
that the bottom's fallen outyour life.
(16:12):
Or it tells you that your lifeis totally out of control.
It tells you that nothing everworks out for you.
It tells you that you make baddecisions, or that you're a
failure, that you're a loser,that you're not going to be okay
.
Sometimes it'll tell you allthose things at once.
That's why I call it the mentalmess I know, when I found out
(16:32):
about my family member's illness, I thought wait, what I mean?
I even, I think, said to mybrother no, why didn't this
happen a month ago, before Ichanged jobs?
Why is this happening right now?
It's not fair.
I can't be there when I need tobe.
I don't have the sameflexibility I had.
(16:52):
I can't be there.
It's too far away.
How am I going to do this?
I said all that stuff.
That's what I call the mentalmess Overwhelm, fear,
uncertainty, sadness, anger,confusion all mixed together in
a toxic little stew For you.
Maybe it's mostly about anoveractive inner critic that
(17:16):
tells you you never get thingsright and it's just constantly
there running in the background.
Or maybe it's about an innerperfectionist that tells you
you're not good enough.
Or it could be about overwhelm,because there's too much you
need to learn and you feel likeyou can't do it.
Or it could be about confusion,because there's too much going
on in your life.
(17:36):
There are many forms to what Icall the mental mess.
Many times it's even messierbecause it's a combination of
all the above.
There's a ton of mess in there.
Our brain is always running andit's stored away thoughts, our
(17:57):
entire life, and those thoughtsare things that sometimes we
think over and, over and overagain, and this develops neural
pathways that become habitualpatterns of thought and when
something happens that triggersus in a certain way, our brain
will kick into high gear.
It'll serve up that old patternof thought and that's why we
(18:21):
feel crappy, that's why we feelhopeless, that's why we get
stuck.
But what I want you to know isthat, no matter what happens in
your career life, no matter howscary or catastrophic life may
seem right now, you can learnhow to take control of what's
(18:42):
going on in that brain of yours.
You can clean up that mentalmess.
You can learn how to practicethe self command when it comes
to that inner voice that youneed If you want your life to go
in the direction that you'rehoping it will go.
And, honestly, it's easier thanyou might think.
(19:06):
This is about dailyself-awareness.
That's it.
It's just a discipline and thatcomes from having a daily
practice around your thoughtlife.
It's important always, but,honestly, especially important
when life seems to come at youfrom all sides At some point in
our life, probably at manypoints in our life.
(19:28):
It happens to all of us.
So you might be wondering well,how would I gain awareness, how
would I practice self-commandwith a brain that's running on
overdrive?
60,000 thoughts a day feelsoverwhelming in and of itself.
You know, and here's the simpleanswer, I want you to set up a
(19:49):
daily practice each morning,where you spend 15 to 30 minutes
.
It's up to you doing what Icall a thought download.
That's what I call it in mypractice.
Now, if you've happened to be afan of Julia Cameron, who wrote
the Artist's Way, I think shecalls it morning pages it's the
(20:14):
same thing, it's the sameprinciple.
You just sit quietly for 20 to30 minutes with a notebook and
pen and you start writing.
I don't know about you, butpeople used to say, oh, you need
to journal, and I alwaysthought what am I going to write
about?
This is an answer to that.
You don't have to write aboutanything.
What you have to do is just sitthere and start.
(20:37):
Dump everything.
Extract everything from yourbrain onto the page.
Everything.
Extract everything from yourbrain onto the page.
You can either let your braindecide what you write or, if
you're going through somethingvery specific, you can make it
about that.
It doesn't really matter.
The key is get everything fromyour head down on paper, keep
(20:58):
writing.
And what I like to tell myclients is do one sentence per
line.
And the reason I like to dothat don't do it in paragraph
form, because I feel like whenyou put one sentence per line
and you look at it later whichI'll show you how to do in a
minute you start to understandthat everything that you're
writing on these pages, thateverything you put down, are
(21:22):
just separate on these pages,that everything you put down are
just separate random thoughts.
It's not this big complicatedstory, it's just sentences that
are in your head that you'regoing to write down on paper.
Now what you'll notice is thatmany of the sentences will go
together.
That's because what we thinksometimes amplifies, or a
(21:42):
simpler way to think about it islike thoughts travel together.
I like to call them thoughtclusters or thought cousins or
thought families.
Like they will travel togetherand sometimes they'll amplify
and build meaning.
They get worse and worse andworse, right?
So that's a catastrophic kindof thinking, right?
That's a thought pattern thatsometimes we have, but sometimes
(22:06):
they'll be separate.
So sometimes your thoughts inthe morning will run a range
from good to catastrophic.
The key is just to get them down.
Julia Cameron recommends, withher morning pages, doing two to
three pages a day.
I kind of like to say justwrite until there's nothing more
to say Usually takes.
(22:28):
Sometimes it'll take 10 minutes, but sometimes it'll take a
good 30.
Get it all out no editing, notrying to make it sound better
than it is, no self-judgment.
Get all the ick from your brainto the page.
And when you can't write anymore, then I want you to sit there
quietly, just for a minute andask yourself what else you might
(22:53):
need to say that a couple oftimes and just keep writing.
Think of it as like water in adishcloth that you're trying to
wring out.
You're trying to wring everythought out of that wet
dishcloth.
There's something powerfulabout taking the words from your
brain and putting them on thepage, where they see daylight,
(23:17):
where you can look at them.
And do you know why?
Because the next thing I wantyou to do when you're done with
writing it all down, I want youto scan through it.
I don't want you to judge itand think well, that's terrible,
why did I write that?
I want you to just see it,don't judge it.
Read it all, maybe a few times,and then, as you do that, I
(23:41):
want you to notice a few things.
What are some common themes anddo you see how those thoughts
would create specific emotions?
Could be any emotion, positiveor negative but do you see how
that sentence you wrote downcould cause you to feel
(24:02):
something very specific in thenotice.
If you're actually feeling thatway, it's the best way to see
that what I'm saying is true.
The way you feel doesn't justhappen because of things that
are going on.
It happens because of whatyou're thinking about, the
things that are going on andthis is critical to know because
(24:25):
this is what creates your life.
And then you get to decide ifthe things that you wrote down
are actually things that youwant to think Like.
That blew my mind the firsttime.
I thought wait a minute, whatdo you mean?
Like those thoughts are in mybrain, so they must be true, and
(24:47):
it's like no, you get to decideIs that what you want to think
Like?
When I found out about my familymember's illness, I thought a
whole bunch of things, but afterI got some awareness of it, I
thought, well, wait a minute,that none of that is helpful,
right, it's going to keep meoverwhelmed.
It's going to keep me focusedon how I feel instead of what I
(25:09):
want, which is being there forthat person right and honoring
the time that we left together.
You have to decide if thethings that you captured in your
morning thought download aregoing to serve you.
Are they going to cause you tofeel things that will inspire
you to be the person you want tobe for that day, or do the
(25:30):
things that you want to do thatare going to lead you to the
result that you want in yourlife?
And if the answer to that is no, you get to choose something
you want to think instead, likeI did Again, it doesn't mean
that you're going to choose apositive, rosy thought if you've
got a friend or a loved onewho's sick, but it might mean
(25:51):
shifting into a differentperspective and choosing
gratitude for the time thatyou've had and the time that you
still have left, and thendeciding how you want to show up
on purpose in the time that youhave left.
Those are very differentthoughts than the thoughts that
I had when I found out right.
What I want you to know is thatthe things that happen to you
(26:15):
might be random.
They might be caused by someoneelse.
They might be things you don'twant.
They probably will be at leasta percentage of the time in your
life.
But I want you to know that youare still in charge.
You get to steer your daily lifein the direction that you
choose to go.
You don't have to just acceptyour brain's default path.
(26:42):
That's just old thoughts thatare in there and some of them
might serve you, but many ofthem probably won't, and you get
to choose something new.
Those thoughts that you get tochoose.
That's your point of power inyour life.
It's how you of power in yourlife.
(27:08):
It's how you take back controlin a career or a life or a world
that sometimes seems out ofcontrol.
It isn't.
You are in the driver's seat.
You just have to decide to putyour hands on the wheel and
steer.
You get to direct your thoughtshow you want them to go.
Your attitude does determineyour altitude and it starts with
(27:31):
what you decide to think.
How you decide to start yourday Doesn't have to be about
picking up the cell phone,doesn't have to be about turning
on the news.
It doesn't have to be aboutanything except sitting down
quietly and getting everythingfrom your head onto the paper
and then deciding if that isgoing to serve you for that day.
(27:54):
And if it doesn't decide tochoose, what do you want to
think instead?
It is 100% your choice.
This is a daily 20 minute powerpractice that I promise you will
change your entire life.
I know it has mine.
(28:14):
Try it and see.
Until next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
(28:35):
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me atthepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(28:59):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
This is the Purposeful Career Podcast,
episode number 222.
I'm Carla Hudson, brandstrategist, entrepreneur and
life coach.
Whether you're on the corporateor entrepreneur track, or maybe
both, decades of experience hastaught me that creating success
happens from the inside out.
(00:21):
It's about having the clarity,self-confidence and unstoppable
belief to go after and geteverything you want.
If you'll come with me, I'llshow you how Well.
Hello, my friend.
I hope you had an amazing week.
(00:41):
Today we're going to talk aboutsomething that is not only
important because it is, but, Ithink, incredibly relevant to
all of us living in the worldtoday, given all of the
political upheaval and tradewars and crazy going on between
(01:05):
countries within country.
This podcast and what I'm goingto talk about, which is going
to make you feel, I think, moreable to deal with it, it's very
important to talk about rightnow.
I know for me, I've long been anews junkie.
I love it and I feel likethat's been taken away from me.
Use junkie I love it and I feellike that's been taken away
(01:27):
from me.
It's something that I've had toedit out of my life and only
take it in very short doses,because I'm just not aligned
with what's going on and I can'tchange what's going on, but I
can change how much attention Igive to it and I can change what
I do about it, from my ownthoughts, my own decisions,
things like that.
So this podcast today is notabout politics, but it's going
(01:51):
to help you deal with anythingthat's going on in your life.
Maybe it's the loss of a job,maybe it's getting passed over
for promotion, maybe it's thehealth of a loved one, maybe
it's some sort of financialsetback, maybe it's like with me
.
For you it's this geopoliticalstrife that's going on.
(02:11):
Whatever it is, this podcastwill help because we are not in
control of everything thathappens in our life.
All we can do is our best tomake the best decisions, to
choose who we vote for, tochoose the job we think is best
for us, to take the best care ofourselves.
(02:32):
But at the end of the day,there's a whole lot of things
that are going to happen thatdon't align with that, and so we
have to exercise theself-discipline and mental
self-command to proactivelydirect our life and our
day-to-day in the way that wethink is going to allow us to
(02:55):
show up our best, not only forourself, but for our employer,
for our family and ourcommunities right.
So I think this episode isgoing to help.
If there's anything you'restruggling with, this episode
will give you perspective on,maybe a different way to start
your day that's more intentional, that allows you to feel like
(03:19):
in a world where sometimesthings can feel a little out of
control, to feel like you have abit more control over your life
maybe not everything, but yourlife, and that's the key.
We all need to feel that and Iwant you to feel that and that's
why I wanted to share this withyou today.
(03:41):
So enjoy this episode onintentionally directing your day
.
Today I want to talk about howto bring your brain back to
neutral, no matter whatchallenges are going on in your
work or life, how to practiceself-command when it comes to
(04:03):
what you choose to think aboutyou, about your possibilities,
about your work, about thechallenges going on all of it.
Because when it comes to makingthe most of life, I think most
of us would agree that life iswhat we make of it.
We know that we're all going tohave challenges and most of us
(04:25):
intuitively get that ourattitude determines our altitude
, or that we need to makelemonade from the lemons, or
whatever cliche you want to use.
But guess what?
Very few of us know how todirect our thought life, how to
(04:46):
think on purpose, not justoccasionally, but every day, as
often as possible throughout theday.
And why is that?
It's because we're not taughtthis.
And when you stop to thinkabout it, I think it's really
interesting that very little ofwhat we learn teaches us how to
(05:09):
manage what actually equates toa very super powerful computer
processor that is inside ourhead, our brain, right?
We have zero idea of how toconsistently make our brain work
for us instead of just being onautopilot.
(05:31):
And because of that, even themost disciplined personal
development devotee willexperience a hit or miss kind of
life, right?
And your average person doesn'teven know that their brain is
theirs to direct and that theway they feel every day doesn't
just happen, it's not random, itdoesn't just happen because of
(05:55):
what's going on around us.
It happens because of a thoughtthat we're thinking.
Most of the time, that thoughtis in our subconscious, so we're
not even aware of it.
Really it's just there, right?
And because it's just there, wethink it's true, but really
(06:15):
it's just a thought.
And that thought, if it doesn'tserve us, might cause us to
feel crappy or scared or sad orpissed off or angry, whatever.
It's not the situation that'sgoing on.
And here is where I want topause for a minute and say that
(06:38):
and I used to think the same waytoo, so I'm not judging, but
this is the point where peoplewho are new to this concept
sometimes jump in and say butthere's all these bad things
that happen sickness, death,financial troubles, job loss and
they say those things are justbad, and I can't tell myself
(06:59):
that they're good.
And so I want to set the recordstraight yes, bad things happen
, and the answer to the badthings is not to try to tell
yourself that they're actuallyreally a good thing, because,
you know, the key is to realizethat the human experience is
(07:23):
always going to be part good andpart bad, part what we want and
part what we hate.
Right, and sometimes we havethe ability to change bad to
good, not to pretend thatsomething tragic is something
wonderful, but instead to have adifferent perspective on it,
(07:46):
something that allows us to tapinto some of the good that might
be a part of that situation.
I'll talk more about that in aminute.
So what I want you to knowmostly is that today, I'm not
going to talk about magicalthinking.
I'm not going to tell you totry to turn everything that
happens to you into sunshine anddaisies.
(08:08):
It's not realistic and it won'twork anyway, but what I do want
to talk about today is how totake charge of your thought life
, how to decide, on purpose,what you want to think about the
things that are going on inyour life, how you want to think
(08:29):
about you and yourpossibilities, how you want to
think about the people in yourlife, how you want to think
about your job, how you want tothink about your boss, how you
want to think about anything,because that is the thing that
you get to choose anything,because that is the thing that
you get to choose.
Right, it doesn't matter what'sgoing on.
(08:50):
You get to decide how you wantto think about it.
I'm going to go more into thisin a little bit, but most of us
think, though, that the thingsthat happen to us are just the
way they are, and that, becauseof the way they are, we just
feel the way we feel, and it'sbecause of what's going on, like
it's all a random thing that'scaused by the situation that's
(09:10):
going on in our life.
But what I want to talk abouttoday is how to grab the mental
steering wheel in your career,in life, how to navigate all the
challenges that come up for you, and how to steer your thoughts
, emotions and actions in thedirection that you want to go,
(09:33):
that takes you toward the thingsthat you want, instead of
further away from what you want.
And I'm calling this clearingout the mental mess.
So let's dive in Now.
You might be wondering why am Icalling it the mental mess?
And I call it that because, ashumans, we all have a constantly
(09:57):
running inner dialogue.
Sometimes we're more aware ofit than others, but it's that
voice in our head, more aware ofit than others, but it's that
voice in our head, and I'veshared before on this podcast.
But the truth is thatneuroscientists say that we have
about, on average, 60,000thoughts a day.
So, of course, with that manythoughts running in a constant
(10:19):
stream, kind of like that tickerat the bottom of the 24 hour
news channel, we are not alwaysgoing to be aware of them.
Sometimes we are, but I wouldsay most of the time we're not.
And, honestly, as I've grown mycoaching practice and as I've
learned how to do my own dailyself-coaching and I've worked
(10:40):
with my own private life coach.
Yes, life coaches have lifecoaches.
I realize more and more everyday that most people have almost
zero awareness of what'sactually going on in their head.
Even people who are really intoself-development, even
(11:02):
psychologists, evenneuroscientists, even life
coaches, will tell you that ifthey don't have a daily practice
in self-coaching, somediscipline that they follow,
that gives them a constantawareness of what's going on in
their head, they will veryquickly lose touch with all the
(11:22):
ways that their brain isactually working against.
Again, because we're not taughthow the brain works, how
thoughts and experiences arestored away and become
repetitive patterns of thought.
It's very easy to think thatthe thoughts that we have that
just come up are just accurateinterpretations of what is going
(11:44):
on.
But they're not.
They're really just a thought,probably coming from old things
that got stored away.
That's it, and you get to choosewhat you want to think about
anything that's going on, eventhe saddest thing, even the
scariest thing, even the mostcatastrophic thing.
(12:07):
You don't have to accept whatyour brain serves up as the
first option.
You can, if you think thatthat's what you want to think.
But you can choose somethingdifferent that you want to think
instead.
Like, for example, let's saythat you think everything's
(12:30):
humming along just fine at workand then, out of the blue, you
get called into the boss's.
Say that you think everything'shumming along just fine at work
and then, out of the blue, youget called into the boss's
office and you lose your job.
Yes, that might be a veryunexpected event, probably
unwelcome, most likely scary,certain to cause all kinds of
(12:50):
self-doubt about your future.
But having helped a lot ofpeople through it my clients you
get to decide what the job lossmeans.
Does it mean a greatopportunity to choose a new
career path or does it meanyou're doomed and that you're
never going to find somethingbetter or as good?
(13:11):
Or let's take it to yourpersonal life.
Let's say that you get somenews that a loved one is very
ill.
I've gone through somethingsimilar and it's very sad.
It is overwhelming sometimes Onsome days, given everything
else that goes on in justregular life, it seems
impossible to deal with and evento comprehend.
(13:32):
But because I've learned thispractice, here's what I decided
to do I decided to be grateful.
Grateful for all the time thatwe did have and for the days
that we were able to spendtogether, for everything that we
experienced together and forhow grateful I am that this
(13:57):
person was in my life.
And while going through that, Ichose to make some adjustments,
on purpose, even though theyweren't easy.
I chose to adjust my own lifeand my own schedule so that I
could be there to help care formy loved one in their final days
(14:19):
.
It doesn't mean it isn't sad.
It is, and it felt reallyalmost like too much sometimes.
Almost like too much sometimes,but because I decided what I
wanted it to mean and basically,I decided what I wanted to do
(14:43):
about it.
It means that in the time thatwe had left together, I got to
show up in the way that I wantto.
In the time that we had left, Iwasn't focused on the
unfairness or the sadness of itall.
Instead, I got to focus on whatI could do to honor everything
that we had.
That's what I'm talking about.
There's 7 billion people on theplanet.
We're all going through acombination of the good and the
(15:05):
bad, and the sad and thewonderful, and it's about life
and the truth is that it rarelygoes exactly as planned right,
and when you throw careerambitions and corporate politics
and money and bosses and healthand all the people around you
(15:28):
into that same pot of messy lifestew, all the people around you
into that same pot of messylife stew.
It can at times feel too much,because the complexities happen
when you least expect it.
Right, everything will behumming along.
You get the big job opportunityand then boom, your spouse
loses their job.
Or you get engaged and thenboom, like me, a family member
(15:51):
gets sick.
Or you get promoted and thenboom, like me, a family member
gets sick.
Or you get promoted and thenboom, your child needs more from
you at home.
Or maybe they get sick.
And then what happens?
If you're not careful, yourbrain kicks in and it's going to
tell you that you can't dealwith it, that it's too much, or
that the bottom's fallen outyour life.
(16:12):
Or it tells you that your lifeis totally out of control.
It tells you that nothing everworks out for you.
It tells you that you make baddecisions, or that you're a
failure, that you're a loser,that you're not going to be okay
.
Sometimes it'll tell you allthose things at once.
That's why I call it the mentalmess I know, when I found out
(16:32):
about my family member's illness, I thought wait, what I mean?
I even, I think, said to mybrother no, why didn't this
happen a month ago, before Ichanged jobs?
Why is this happening right now?
It's not fair.
I can't be there when I need tobe.
I don't have the sameflexibility I had.
(16:52):
I can't be there.
It's too far away.
How am I going to do this?
I said all that stuff.
That's what I call the mentalmess Overwhelm, fear,
uncertainty, sadness, anger,confusion all mixed together in
a toxic little stew For you.
Maybe it's mostly about anoveractive inner critic that
(17:16):
tells you you never get thingsright and it's just constantly
there running in the background.
Or maybe it's about an innerperfectionist that tells you
you're not good enough.
Or it could be about overwhelm,because there's too much you
need to learn and you feel likeyou can't do it.
Or it could be about confusion,because there's too much going
on in your life.
(17:36):
There are many forms to what Icall the mental mess.
Many times it's even messierbecause it's a combination of
all the above.
There's a ton of mess in there.
Our brain is always running andit's stored away thoughts, our
(17:57):
entire life, and those thoughtsare things that sometimes we
think over and, over and overagain, and this develops neural
pathways that become habitualpatterns of thought and when
something happens that triggersus in a certain way, our brain
will kick into high gear.
It'll serve up that old patternof thought and that's why we
(18:21):
feel crappy, that's why we feelhopeless, that's why we get
stuck.
But what I want you to know isthat, no matter what happens in
your career life, no matter howscary or catastrophic life may
seem right now, you can learnhow to take control of what's
(18:42):
going on in that brain of yours.
You can clean up that mentalmess.
You can learn how to practicethe self command when it comes
to that inner voice that youneed If you want your life to go
in the direction that you'rehoping it will go.
And, honestly, it's easier thanyou might think.
(19:06):
This is about dailyself-awareness.
That's it.
It's just a discipline and thatcomes from having a daily
practice around your thoughtlife.
It's important always, but,honestly, especially important
when life seems to come at youfrom all sides At some point in
our life, probably at manypoints in our life.
(19:28):
It happens to all of us.
So you might be wondering well,how would I gain awareness, how
would I practice self-commandwith a brain that's running on
overdrive?
60,000 thoughts a day feelsoverwhelming in and of itself.
You know, and here's the simpleanswer, I want you to set up a
(19:49):
daily practice each morning,where you spend 15 to 30 minutes
.
It's up to you doing what Icall a thought download.
That's what I call it in mypractice.
Now, if you've happened to be afan of Julia Cameron, who wrote
the Artist's Way, I think shecalls it morning pages it's the
(20:14):
same thing, it's the sameprinciple.
You just sit quietly for 20 to30 minutes with a notebook and
pen and you start writing.
I don't know about you, butpeople used to say, oh, you need
to journal, and I alwaysthought what am I going to write
about?
This is an answer to that.
You don't have to write aboutanything.
What you have to do is just sitthere and start.
(20:37):
Dump everything.
Extract everything from yourbrain onto the page.
Everything.
Extract everything from yourbrain onto the page.
You can either let your braindecide what you write or, if
you're going through somethingvery specific, you can make it
about that.
It doesn't really matter.
The key is get everything fromyour head down on paper, keep
(20:58):
writing.
And what I like to tell myclients is do one sentence per
line.
And the reason I like to dothat don't do it in paragraph
form, because I feel like whenyou put one sentence per line
and you look at it later whichI'll show you how to do in a
minute you start to understandthat everything that you're
writing on these pages, thateverything you put down, are
(21:22):
just separate on these pages,that everything you put down are
just separate random thoughts.
It's not this big complicatedstory, it's just sentences that
are in your head that you'regoing to write down on paper.
Now what you'll notice is thatmany of the sentences will go
together.
That's because what we thinksometimes amplifies, or a
(21:42):
simpler way to think about it islike thoughts travel together.
I like to call them thoughtclusters or thought cousins or
thought families.
Like they will travel togetherand sometimes they'll amplify
and build meaning.
They get worse and worse andworse, right?
So that's a catastrophic kindof thinking, right?
That's a thought pattern thatsometimes we have, but sometimes
(22:06):
they'll be separate.
So sometimes your thoughts inthe morning will run a range
from good to catastrophic.
The key is just to get them down.
Julia Cameron recommends, withher morning pages, doing two to
three pages a day.
I kind of like to say justwrite until there's nothing more
to say Usually takes.
(22:28):
Sometimes it'll take 10 minutes, but sometimes it'll take a
good 30.
Get it all out no editing, notrying to make it sound better
than it is, no self-judgment.
Get all the ick from your brainto the page.
And when you can't write anymore, then I want you to sit there
quietly, just for a minute andask yourself what else you might
(22:53):
need to say that a couple oftimes and just keep writing.
Think of it as like water in adishcloth that you're trying to
wring out.
You're trying to wring everythought out of that wet
dishcloth.
There's something powerfulabout taking the words from your
brain and putting them on thepage, where they see daylight,
(23:17):
where you can look at them.
And do you know why?
Because the next thing I wantyou to do when you're done with
writing it all down, I want youto scan through it.
I don't want you to judge itand think well, that's terrible,
why did I write that?
I want you to just see it,don't judge it.
Read it all, maybe a few times,and then, as you do that, I
(23:41):
want you to notice a few things.
What are some common themes anddo you see how those thoughts
would create specific emotions?
Could be any emotion, positiveor negative but do you see how
that sentence you wrote downcould cause you to feel
(24:02):
something very specific in thenotice.
If you're actually feeling thatway, it's the best way to see
that what I'm saying is true.
The way you feel doesn't justhappen because of things that
are going on.
It happens because of whatyou're thinking about, the
things that are going on andthis is critical to know because
(24:25):
this is what creates your life.
And then you get to decide ifthe things that you wrote down
are actually things that youwant to think Like.
That blew my mind the firsttime.
I thought wait a minute, whatdo you mean?
Like those thoughts are in mybrain, so they must be true, and
(24:47):
it's like no, you get to decideIs that what you want to think
Like?
When I found out about my familymember's illness, I thought a
whole bunch of things, but afterI got some awareness of it, I
thought, well, wait a minute,that none of that is helpful,
right, it's going to keep meoverwhelmed.
It's going to keep me focusedon how I feel instead of what I
(25:09):
want, which is being there forthat person right and honoring
the time that we left together.
You have to decide if thethings that you captured in your
morning thought download aregoing to serve you.
Are they going to cause you tofeel things that will inspire
you to be the person you want tobe for that day, or do the
(25:30):
things that you want to do thatare going to lead you to the
result that you want in yourlife?
And if the answer to that is no, you get to choose something
you want to think instead, likeI did Again, it doesn't mean
that you're going to choose apositive, rosy thought if you've
got a friend or a loved onewho's sick, but it might mean
(25:51):
shifting into a differentperspective and choosing
gratitude for the time thatyou've had and the time that you
still have left, and thendeciding how you want to show up
on purpose in the time that youhave left.
Those are very differentthoughts than the thoughts that
I had when I found out right.
What I want you to know is thatthe things that happen to you
(26:15):
might be random.
They might be caused by someoneelse.
They might be things you don'twant.
They probably will be at leasta percentage of the time in your
life.
But I want you to know that youare still in charge.
You get to steer your daily lifein the direction that you
choose to go.
You don't have to just acceptyour brain's default path.
(26:42):
That's just old thoughts thatare in there and some of them
might serve you, but many ofthem probably won't, and you get
to choose something new.
Those thoughts that you get tochoose.
That's your point of power inyour life.
It's how you of power in yourlife.
(27:08):
It's how you take back controlin a career or a life or a world
that sometimes seems out ofcontrol.
It isn't.
You are in the driver's seat.
You just have to decide to putyour hands on the wheel and
steer.
You get to direct your thoughtshow you want them to go.
Your attitude does determineyour altitude and it starts with
(27:31):
what you decide to think.
How you decide to start yourday Doesn't have to be about
picking up the cell phone,doesn't have to be about turning
on the news.
It doesn't have to be aboutanything except sitting down
quietly and getting everythingfrom your head onto the paper
and then deciding if that isgoing to serve you for that day.
(27:54):
And if it doesn't decide tochoose, what do you want to
think instead?
It is 100% your choice.
This is a daily 20 minute powerpractice that I promise you will
change your entire life.
I know it has mine.
(28:14):
Try it and see.
Until next time.
Make it a great week.
My friends, do you have a lifecoach?
If not, I'd be so honored to beyour coach.
(28:35):
I've created a virtual coachingprogram and monthly membership
called Next Level.
Inside we take the material youhear on this podcast, study it
and then apply it.
Join me atthepurposefulcareercom backslash
next level.
Don't forget thepurposefulcareercom backslash
(28:59):
next level.
Join me and together we'll makeyour career in life everything
you dream of.
We'll see you there.
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