September 9, 2024 • 38 mins
"Geaux Love Fearlessly: Rita Smith Unveils the Art of Fearless Love" In this empowering episode of 'The Q-Chat,' we explore the depths of fearless love with the viral relationship expert, Rita Smith. Rita delves into key themes from her eBook, Love Can't Wait, sharing profound insights on how to embrace love boldly and without fear. Discover the secrets to cultivating meaningful connections and learn why the bravest thing you can do is to love without reservation. Whether you're seeking to enrich your current relationship or find courage for a new romantic venture, Rita provides the wisdom and encouragement needed to move forward. Join us for a transformative discussion that will inspire you to live and love passionately and fearlessly. Tune into 'Geaux Love Fearlessly' and empower your romantic journey today! Record Date: [Aug 15] Release Date: [Sept 9] www.geauxqueen.com Connect with Geaux Queen: https://linktr.ee/geauxqueen Check out our Magazine: https://publuu.com/flip-book/109160/5...
Instagram: www.instagram.com/iam_geauxqueen TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@geaux_queen?_... LinkedIn: / shronda-ann-a-0a7683203 Facebook: / thegeauxqueenbrand #selfimprovement #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawareness #blackwomenpodcasters #selfimprovement #selflovepodcast
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(00:00):
Grab your print or digital copy of Go Queen.
Magazine Today. Stay.
Inspired by the incredible stories and features inside?
Visit our website to grab your copy now.
Hey, Queen. Welcome to another episode of
the Key Chat. Today we are joined by the
phenomenal Rita Smith, a relationship expert who has
captured the hearts of many withher wisdom and insight.
(00:23):
Married for over 40 years, Rita's experience and expertise
have made her the. Go to source for.
Relationship advice She went viral for her candid takes on
love and relationships, and her message of Love Can't Wait has
resonated with thousands of countless people looking to
build healthy, lasting. As the owner of Kitty Wiggle and
(00:44):
a feature guest on Essence and The Tamron Hall Show, Rita is
dedicated to helping individualsrecognize red flags, fill out
the trauma, and cultivate confidence in their single
lives. In this episode, we'll dive into
her journey, her best date, and the advice and the importance of
mental health and self love and relationships.
Get ready to be inspired. Just bring about a business
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working hard on a mission, head high purpose driven, crown on,
never tilted. Go queen, go queen.
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So thank you guys for joining another episode of the key chat
today. My very special guest is Miss
Rita Smith and Rita went viral for her beautiful videos and her
relationship goals. She is the epitome of
relationship couple goals. So we're going to talk about a
lot of things regarding dating and relationships and how to
keep the spice going. She's also going viral.
(01:56):
She's been seen on a lot of prominent platforms like Tamron
Hall Essence. So we're just going to chat it
up on this viral sensation. And also so she has a new ebook
come coming out called Love Can Wait.
And she also is the CEO of a spicy lingerie company called
Kitty Widow. So we're going to have a good
conversation. How are you doing today?
(02:19):
So how you doing today? I'm doing great.
I'm sorry I didn't hear. I'm doing great.
And that's OK. So I'm so happy to chat with
you. So First off, you know, of
course, I want to start off talking about this viral moment.
I know you went viral, you and babe.
That's OK. We refer to him as that.
So I know you've been married for 43 years.
So tell us about this moment andjust what made you decide to
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start doing your videos and how did it go viral?
The viral moment shocked me. It shocked me, first of all,
always did talk about my name, my name, my name, 'cause you
know, that's my name. He good for me.
And so around the pandemic time,when we couldn't get out a lot,
you know, I started coming out with, you know, just talking
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about it on the videos and stuff.
And I stopped. I wasn't persistent.
And people will see my daughter and say, you know, tell your
Mama, come on. You know, children that they
went to school with grown women now tell your Mama, come on,
because we need it. And I was like, oh, no, I would
say no because my business is mybusiness, you know, stuff like
that. So I started again, but my
(03:21):
daughter got sick with lupus andstopped walking.
So I just stopped period. And then when she got well
again, thank God, people start telling her again to tell me
come out and they they was calling for me.
And so my daughter said, well, you my great expert inspiration.
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And so I had to come out and that's when it's really was my
daughter because she was like, alot of women need to hear about
your marriage. A lot of people need hope.
So it was hard that pushed me tothat.
Right. So how did it feel though when
you realize, because I know how it is during COVID, a lot of us
was doing all types of things tokeep busy and videoing things.
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And for some of us that like to keep private, it was kind of
like a balance because like you said, old school, we really like
to keep our business to ourselves.
So how was it when you realize, wait a minute, people are really
watching these videos, that you have any regrets at all?
I don't know. I I'm this person.
It is what it is with me. What touched me the most is when
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women came to me and said you really helping me.
That's what really touched me. And that really caused me to
tear up because I didn't see it like that.
All I saw I'm just being reader,just who I am.
I didn't see it like, oh, you know, I'm helping someone.
But now that I see it, you know,and I begin to see it back then
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and see it now, it tears me up. It really touches my heart.
It, it humbles my heart in such a way that I feel so grateful.
I really feel grateful to God for, you know, using me in this
capacity. So I can only imagine because I
think one of the the, the thingsthat make people comfortable
when they see your videos is, you know, maybe even for single
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women are a lesbian, as a lot ofpeople have gone through
relationship trauma. So sometimes it's hard for them
to even imagine that OK, marriages last 40 plus years.
You know, some people really don't see that.
So I think that's one of the things that people are excited
about when they do see your videos.
And so I know, like you said, a lot of different women are
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coming to you and you see how it's made an impact.
And I know you do have the The Love Can wait.
So can you tell us about the e-book and what made you decide
to write it? Because like I said, I know that
your videos are really helping other generations to be like,
OK, these are goals that I can have one day.
I've always written love storiesand so one day I said I just
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want to put it into a book. Like I like the right spicy
stuff that I'm working on right now.
So I just wanted to do love. Can't wait because it's like
this is something I always had in me and wanted to do and
express myself so they can know me just a tad bit more.
So that's what really prompt me that way.
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So what are some of the things we can expect in the book
without you giving everything away?
But what are some of the things we can expect in it?
Well what I love about the part that my man put in back to the
basis, I love that because the way I see dating now to the
dating that we started in the 70s is nothing like that.
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Like, I hate to see when women looking up a man when they're
supposed to be finding us, you know what I'm saying?
We talked about that and the chemistry, the chemistry of
being in a relationship, whetheryou're single or married, the
chemistry can be so strong and chemistry don't always have to
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be sex. You know what I'm saying?
The chemistry could be that you all the same accord.
The chemistry could be that you like different interests, but
you still can come together and love each other interests at the
same time. And so those those were some of
the things I was talking about in the book.
And the last thing is that I really, really like about it is
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that I'd be like to cry when I talk.
So I have to pause a little bit when I was talking about my
illness in there, you know, so people can kind of understand
that I'm not just the sex, sex, sex model.
I'm all that, you know, I know what it is to be down and to be
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back up. You know, I know what it is to
have trials and tribulations, but I'm grateful that God bless
me with the man that I have to help me through that and the
prayers that he prayed for me because I was really in a dark,
dark place, a dark place, a darkplace literally almost to death
that place. Wow, yes, and that's.
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I love that you're transparent too, and to me it kind of like a
night, you know, to the vows sickness and inhale.
So it's good to just show peoplethe positive side of
relationships because I think somany people have built platforms
on the negative side of men and women.
So it's refreshing and get some positivity.
So that's always a plus. So I don't want to put you on
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the spot, but as you know, I do follow you and your daughter on
social media. And I know there's a video where
I come and I said, oh, y'all over there cutting up?
Because I want to ask you for the other single women that's
going to be tuning in. Give us some advice.
Come on, give us that auntie advice and tell us what do we
need to be looking for when we go out?
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Because like you said, they're supposed to find us.
So what advice do you have? What's your dating advice?
What's the TV? Let me tell you what I do and me
and my daughter, we, when we go out, this is so funny.
We go out, we looking good, we smelling good.
You know what I'm saying? We leave a trail with our
perfume and believe me, the men come to the table.
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They come to the table because they're smelling that perfume.
They're looking at the way we carry ourselves.
They're looking at the way we look.
And I tell single people, alwayskeep yourself up.
Keep yourself looking good, smelling good.
And when you go out there, shine.
Let them see you shine. And I'm telling you, when men
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see that, they come. I didn't say you got to pick
this, but they come and always, you know, be, be faithful to
yourself, be true to yourself ofwhat you really, really want in
a man. You know what I'm saying?
That is so important. And the reason why I say that is
because a lot of women, especially single women, they
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settle for what they don't want.And I hate to see that.
So being single, you know, my daughter, my daughter's at the
nail parlor look, hair salon, spa places, spa bed, like we
really hang out because she's single.
And when we hanging out like that, I'm no better where we go,
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men, they follow and then, you know, I have to tell them where
I'm married, you know, and stufflike that.
But they look at that and let metell you something.
Men know who you are. They know, but you got to know
who you are. You got to know what you want
and I'm telling and when and when you know what you want,
that's what you're going to attract.
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You're going to attract what youreally, really want and what's
going to be beneficial in your life.
Because many times people attract certain people opposite
sex and stuff like that, and then they start dating and it's
nothing that they want. You see what I'm saying?
But you have to know who you want.
Be true to yourself. That's it, that part.
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What advice do you have too? Because I think sometimes women,
you know, and I hate the generalized, but sometimes I'll
say single people because it is what it is.
But sometimes people who are single, they may be so wrapped
up in finding a mate. Like you mentioned, you still
have to take care of yourself that they kind of think that
that's their whole identity on whether they have somebody.
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But like you said, if you in a mindset where you like, hey, I'm
not going to settle. Sometimes it may take a little
longer because you like, hey, I'm confident and this is what I
wanted a mate and I'm going to wait until that person comes.
So what's your advice on just for people to just keep that
confidence going because some people, they struggle with that
confidence because sometimes people put themselves down
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because they're single. I would just as a single person
achieve everything that I set out to do.
If just if you set goals for yourself, you know, just do it.
Do everything that you want to achieve.
Just even in waiting for that, you know, but you have to just
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continue to pray or please continue to pray.
Go out, date yourself, just do something new, something good
for yourself, you know, and look, another thing is having a
nice group, you know what I'm saying?
Like group of women, you know, you can do and talk to your
little friends and stuff. Something that you can get so
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involved in the museum. Just keep keep rotating, you
know, and keep moving because itcan come that particular day.
It can just happen. You know, I can remember back
when I was 14 1/2 and I was going through some things in my
parents home with my mom and I just my husband always saw me
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and I saw him but I didn't see him as my boyfriend.
He saw me as a girlfriend but I didn't see him like that.
But that day I was going throughsome stuff but he didn't know.
He asked me for my number and I gave him my number.
I was smiling down, you know what I'm saying?
But see, I although I was going through all this stuff, I kept
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rotating, I kept moving, no one know what I was going through
and I kept praying. And when that happened in my
life that God knew I must have needed that because it happened
in my life. He came into my life at a good
time in my life when I was really struggling where I was at
and all I wanted honestly was just a boyfriend just to talk to
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and you know, kind of get some of these things out.
But then I didn't get them out because I was embarrassed.
But at that time, I just kept rotating.
I kept moving, I kept evolving. And He saw me every day, every
day. And that particular day, usually
I don't give guys my number at all.
I wouldn't have that particular day I did.
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And God saw fit. See, so we never know.
You have to just keep joining you.
You've got to keep moving. You got to keep joining you keep
achieving. And that join when you least
expect, That's when your blessing come.
Wow. And of course, like you said,
you've been married for over 43 years.
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So for the other part of people that's going to be watching,
people that are already in relationships or in marriages,
as we know, marriages, relationships, it's a lot of
work. So what advice also can you have
for people to just keep the spice going and just to keep the
communication going? How to just keep the fun and the
spark in their relationship? Well, you know, everybody know I
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love to role play as a wife. I've been role-playing since 19,
like the day I got married and it was beautiful.
And I just kept role-playing. I love to role play because see,
my man's shy and I helped to bring out some things in him
that he had deep within him, right?
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But see, I'm role-playing not knowing what was going on with
him either. And I would say, you know, I
would spark up a conversation, you know what I'm saying?
Even in role-playing, even in the costume that I would wear,
that's false conversation, right?
And as I kept doing that, a lot of communication came out of it.
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A lot of emotions came out of it.
I'm telling you, a lot of thingsthat the both of us had in US
came out of it for the good. And that communication came out
of it because I was the one who didn't want to communicate.
I was the one like, I'm gonna say it like this.
And I'm and he was saying, no, we're going to sit down and talk
about even enroll clean. We kept that spark and I find,
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let me tell you, I find a lot ofadults, a lot of adults when I
mean weddings, marriages, that being 1540 something and 30
something years, they don't evensleep with their spouses.
They sleep in separate bedrooms,not up in here, no.
And you have to keep that line of communication open.
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It's like every day I could findsomething new to do for my man
and with my man and he does the same thing with me because we
working together, I don't have to do all the work and he don't
have to do all the work. But that role-playing has really
set everything aflame. It has really helped us set
everything aflame and the communication and setting goals
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for your marriage, setting goals.
I actually sat down where my book is, Tamika, I have this
book right here and I sat down during the day and I write down
things that I want to do in my marriage and I want to see go on
in my marriage and happen and demonstrate in my marriage.
This is what I do and it's called a prayer journal, which
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is my diary also. And I write these things down
and I watch these things come alive in my life.
I pray, I write it, I believe it, I trust God.
And I'm telling you it comes alive.
And it's so. It's so beautiful because if you
know my back story to be where I'm at today, there is a God.
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Trust me, there is a God and Godbless me when I say he blessed
me. He richly blessed me with this
man. He richly blessed me with this
man. Ever since the both of us became
Christians and I would never forgive that.
And we learned we carve out everything that we want to see
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in our relationship. I'll tell people, don't let your
relationship die. Even people that have kids.
I have 3 adult kids. I homeschool my kids, right?
But I never took away time from my man because I didn't want to
be where OK, our kids are gone and we just amped the heads
because you didn't do anything during the whole time the kids
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were home. And now we amped the nesters and
it is on even more. And my kids knew when that door
was shut. They knew it was our time.
So when I see a lot of marriages, I don't want no stale
marriage. I'm sorry, I don't want that.
I don't want a marriage where, you know, you cussing me and I'm
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cussing you and we can't get along.
See, I grew up with that. I didn't want that and I refuse
to even accept something like that.
And when I see a lot of marriages where and I need some
of these people, I'm talking about all my friends where it's
separate bedrooms, separate bankaccounts.
No, no, no, you know, it's a lotin marriage and people say it's
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a lot of work, but I'll kid you not.
I cannot say that because in my marriage, my husband have done
everything to give me the salt life.
I might be cracking up a little because I, I, I cry about things
like this. He give me the soft life, the
life that is stress free. He'll take it before he give it
to me. And so during that time that I
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was talking about when I was sick, I felt so bad for him for
that because keep always giving that to me.
And I appreciate that God knew what I needed.
That's why I tell women, trust in God, trust in your faith,
have your relationship with God.Because let me tell you, when
you have that, you got everything.
And God ain't going to leave youconfidence and he's not going to
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bring you somebody that's not fitting for you.
He's not going to do that. And I know if he blessed me the
way he blessed me, and he has truly, richly blessed me with
this man that I'm married to, hecan do it for anybody, Anybody.
That's so beautiful, but I want to ask you too, just like you
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said how God sent you the right person, there's some people who.
They're going through trauma actually in their relationships
because they may not have had that fairy tale.
And then obviously they may be divorced or just had a bad
relationship. And sometimes that trauma holds
people back as well or causes them problems and bringing not
bringing that into the next relationship or it may cause
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some issues and just dating in general or finding that trust.
What's your advice for people who they may have had a bad
relationship and they're. Kind of struggling with that.
So they want a day, but they're not sure they really do want
that special somebody, but they're kind of being held back
from, you know, the past. So what's your advice on just
healing from past relationship trauma so that they can still
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have a positive, healthy outlookon just dating in the future?
Don't love scare. Don't love scare.
Because when things like that happen and then the right person
come along, we scared and we mess up.
We can miss out. Don't.
A part of that is in my ebook Don't Love Scare, Love freely.
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Learn to love freely. You know, if even if you have to
take it bit by bit, day by day, learn to love freely and, and
try not to live back in that past.
Come in that future and pray that Lord bring me to the future
because I don't want to live back in that past.
And don't let me love scare because if you love scare,
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you're going to miss out. You're going to miss out.
I would say don't love scare. Wow.
That's some very good advice, you know, because I think
sometimes we think about how fear can hold us back in other
parts of our life, but we may not necessarily associate how
fear can hold us back and just our relationships with people
too. So that's a very good
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observation. So I want to ask you, of course,
about your other business is Kitty Wiggle.
So tell us about that. It sounds super spicy.
So tell us about Kitty Wiggle. Kitty Wiggle is close to my
heart because during the time I have endometriosis and at 26, I
got sick. At 23 after I had my daughter,
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my last baby, and I didn't know what it was, I was suffering
232425 I mean suffering. And the bad thing is I was on a
point of debt, but I didn't know.
And so during that time my husband always bought me really
beautiful Lacey lingerie becausehe loved lace.
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And so I was so sick until, you know, he would have to bathe me
and all that, and he'll bring the loungerie, you know, he'd
put it in a bed. He'd put it on me and stuff.
Because at the time, you know, when you're sick like that, your
body can't stand to feel certainthings.
But he would buy me these silky pieces and these Lasik pieces,
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and he will put it on me. And when I was laying that sick
and I was crying and I say one day I want to sell lingerie and
I said a reason why because I know what I'm going through
right now and my body couldn't take the sheets and you know,
certain other pains and stuff. And I said I want any woman that
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go through this or not. But during that time I said any
woman that's sick, I just want her to feel secure because I
felt insecure. I mean, I felt so insecure
because I felt invalid because Icouldn't do anything from the
way my life was to where it came.
Oh my God. And I was so embarrassed.
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I was so embarrassed, but I didn't tell him that at the
time. But he kept loving me.
He kept bathing me. And so I was like, one day I'm
going to sell lingerie. I said I'm going to sell penis
because my husband is really into penis.
Like he loves these penis and stuff.
And that's what caused me to want to do that because of the
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illness that I had. And then at 26th, I finally got
the first surgery, almost killedme.
And but although we couldn't do anything, he kept touching me,
you know, touching and all this good stuff.
And 27 1/2, it came back. I had endometrial cancer that
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time at 27 1/2, but I still was wearing that lingerie.
He still put that lounger ramp on me.
He still was bathed in me. He still was making sure to take
care of me. But that lounger Ray, to me was
so important. It made me felt like I can help,
you know, be bisexual when I couldn't be.
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It made me feel like I could because I felt dead inside.
I'm telling I felt so dead. You know, they had taken out
everything I had. You know what I'm saying?
I'm laughing because I laugh a lot, but they had taken out of
everything that I had and I feltso insecure.
I felt insecure with the cut on my stomach because you know,
that one side to the other side and stapling and all that.
Oh, I was just so embarrassed, you know, I was so embarrassed.
(25:07):
But I'll kid you not, every timehe put a piece of lingerie on me
and pain is on me, I just thought feeling like I'm coming
back to life now, I'm coming back to life.
I'm coming back to life because at first I feel like, you know
what, this marriage is over. I was trying to get him somebody
to be with one of my friends, you know, because I was all like
(25:29):
close to death, you know, then Iwas small children.
And so that part. That's something else and I
think you know it. Just as women, we go through so
many different things, especially the physical part
that we go through. And I understand I had a
(25:50):
hysterectomy too, so I get it. When you are starred up, are you
just not feeling like yourself? I just think it's beautiful that
I mean, when you put on certain things, you just feel like like
that Shania Twain Twain something you feel like a woman.
You feel like you build your confidence no matter what moods
you're in when you put on that, that lace, that silk, or just
like you said, the right perfume, that hair, that
(26:12):
whatever it is, extra cherry on top to make you feel good no
matter how you're feeling on theinside.
So I definitely can understand that.
So I want to ask you to just in your relationship and just as a
woman, like I said, things that you've gone through, going
through cancer and just, I know how it is when you have those
reproductive issues, it's draining.
It really takes away a quality of your life.
(26:35):
So I want to ask you cuz on our platform, one of the things we
do like to talk about with the Queens is mental health and how
important that is. So what are some of the things
that to do or have maybe even done in a path to cater to your
mental health and Wellness? Well, first of all, I did a lot
of praying. I did a lot of praying and I, I
(26:58):
start exercising more because I used to exercise.
I used to be so active before that day, before that time came,
I did a lot of things with my kids, a whole lot of stuff with
my kids, decorating, just things.
And I love to do because I love to decorate.
You know, I started like I neverwas a shopper at that time.
(27:18):
I started shopping, you know, a lot, you know, just kind of
build myself back up, you know what I'm saying?
And feeling, you know, wonderfulall over again.
So I did a lot of that and I have a daughter and my kids are
my everything, but I literally almost died with my daughter.
(27:38):
And having my daughter help me so much with that endometriosis
thing because let me tell you, every time I would see her, I
knew I couldn't leave here because I always play with my
daughter, like dishes, baby dolls.
And I'm telling you, I'm tellingyou, I did a lot of stuff like
that with my daughter. I did so much with because my
(28:01):
husband would make sure he have the boys.
I did so much with my daughter that helped to build me up.
Even to this day we still like that, you know, I just, I mean
like dress my daughter up, Polish her toes, Polish her
nails, comb my hair. Just like I was intense with
this because I wanted the girls so bad, you know?
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So she having her and doing thatall the things that I did with
this child, you know, like teaching just everything, you
know, loving on her, you know, it just it did a lot for me.
It did a lot for me, a whole lotfor me.
It helped me to get where I needed to get in because I
(28:47):
realized I said, you know, I didn't want to leave them in the
in the beginning, but she was a baby.
And I felt like God bless me with this daughter because he
knew I was going to go through this rough time in my life and
having this little quiet girl with me all the time doing
different things. I will help her decorating with
(29:09):
me, you know, anything that she wanted to do or I wanted to do
that bought me joy. It really bought me joy.
You know how some people say, well, I'm living for my
children, that part, you know, Iwasn't worried about all the
material things because I've been blessed with that.
(29:29):
But I needed something more tangible, you know what I'm
saying? And she was that something that
I needed more tangible for me. That is so beautiful and I trust
me. I know I have 3 kids, but I only
have one daughter so I know how that's like a different bind
(29:50):
that's practically indescribable.
So. Things I want to ask you about
before we wrap everything is ourplatform as well.
We talk about self love. Self love is something that is
extremely important to just havethat confidence in yourself and
to just really value yourself. And also when you have that self
love, especially when we talk about relationships, like you
said, just sometimes the settling thing or just maybe
(30:12):
feeling uncomfortable that you're single and putting
yourself down. But when you have that self love
value, you know that you're worthy.
Whether you have your man, whether you have your lady,
whether you're single, whether you're not, just to still have
that self love and confidence toknow that you're valuable and
you're worthy. So I want to ask you, how do you
define self love and what role has it played in your life?
(30:33):
I didn't hear the last part I'm sorry.
That's OK. I want to ask you how do you
define self love and what role has it played in your life?
Self love for me old girl now self self love for me is just
enjoying my life, enjoying my marriage even more.
(30:56):
I'm I'm like I cannot put it allinto words.
How wonderful it is for me at this time because I have been
through so much. Give me a minute.
(31:35):
I have been through so much. The storm and the rain, you
know, being ill. And so now I'm just really,
really, really enjoying my life.I'm enjoying my marriage even
more. I'm enjoying our spontaneous
dates together. I'm enjoying him just calling me
saying look, I'm coming pick youup like we 15, like I'm 15 all
(31:59):
over again. I'm enjoying everything and I
take nothing for granted. I take nothing for granted
because I've been through so much and been down for so much
and self love for me. I you know, at one time I'll
never really get my nails done, but I get my nails done now.
(32:20):
Always did get my hair done. I still love to decorate.
This is the things I love doing and I love shopping now and I
never used to love shopping the way I do now.
And I'm just really enjoying thelife that God has blessed me
with, with my man and my family.That's myself, love.
(32:43):
That's myself love. And I'm great.
I am so, so grateful for that. And I tell anybody, you know,
love yourself, you know, encourage yourself even when
you're down, encourage yourself in the Lord.
I get the scripture, especially when I was sick, and I would
(33:05):
just quote it and quote it and quote it, you know, to get well.
And so now, you know, I'm, I'm like, I'm up on the chandelier,
you know, I'm just, I'm, I'm just enjoying life and I'm
enjoying it more abundantly because when I look back, you
know, it was horrible. My little self love.
(33:30):
I didn't have it anymore, you know what I'm saying?
For a long, for some years, because I was so down.
And so now it's like, oh, I'm gone, I'm just gone, gone with
the wind. Fabulous.
Enjoy the man in my life that means a lot to me, that means a
(33:50):
lot to me. And then we do so much together
that means everything to me. Self love to me is even having
my family. I have two boys, grown men, 42
and 43. The oldest one in my baby boy
42. That's myself love.
My 5 grandkids. All of that is myself.
(34:12):
Love for me. Wow.
I love it. I love it and the keyword is
just gratitude. Just being grateful, beautiful.
And then just like you say to gothrough a lot and said we have
peace. Like you have peace, you have a
healthy relationship and a family and there's nothing like
(34:34):
peace, especially after you've been through a storm.
So I know it's tears of joy. So I just think it's.
Just so beautiful. And this has been an amazing
conversation, of course. But I want to ask you before we
end everything, like, can you leave people that's going to
watch this or listen to this episode?
Can you leave us with an affirmation?
(34:57):
Always, always put your trust inGod.
Always, Always you know and always you know this mind.
(35:20):
I will and I do put my trust in God, therefore.
Yes, I love it and lose. You can't go wrong when you put
God first. So I love it.
I love it. Thank you so much for this
conversation. You have definitely touched me
today. This has been great.
Before we end everything now, tell everybody how they can find
you, how they can follow you on social media and how they can
(35:43):
get this lingerie and also that.I'm on Instagram, Bad girl would
be five O 4. YouTube, I'm sorry, YouTube Bad
Girl would be five O 4. Facebook Rita Smith TikTok Bear
Girl would be five O 4 And my ebook Love Can't wait.
(36:05):
It's on bookbaby.com, My lingerie Kitty Wiggle
collection. Awesome, awesome.
I love it. Thank you so much again for this
conversation and I just appreciate just how you've given
us just the full journey on you can have a healthy relationship.
(36:26):
I think it's going to be perfect.
No, because we're going to have bad days.
We go through trials and tribulations, but when you love
somebody, you have to be there for that person.
You know, a relationship is a give and a take, and I think
that's one of the things that weresonate with you because we
seeing that is two people who truly love each other and when
(36:48):
you love you give and when you love you also take.
And I just love how like 43 years strong, like this is a
it's a beautiful love story and we need to be more black love.
So I definitely appreciate both of you.
So you and your man. I love it.
Like I just love seeing it, you know, just makes everybody
happy. So thank you again for this
(37:08):
beautiful conversation. So guys, remember, please go
ahead and follow Rita if you arefollowing her already and go
ahead and look up the information.
Get that ebook and also you ladies are feeling spicy.
Go ahead and check out Kitty Wiggle collection.com and go
ahead and make yourself feel good.
Whether you have a man or not, you could still get you some
spicy lingerie, some nice lace, some silk.
(37:30):
Go ahead and treat yourself. So thank you guys again for
tuning in and just remember to just love yourself.
Whether you have a ring, whetheryou don't, whether you're
looking, just remember to value yourself.
Don't settle. You're worthy of valuable.
You're valuable whether you're single or if you're seeking and
you really want that in your heart.
Just pray and trust God and justknow that whatever is meant for
(37:51):
you will be. So thank you guys for tuning in
to the key chat. You can catch this episode and
more www.goclean.com. Make sure you be safe and go
love yourself. She's quiet about a business,
working hard on a mission.
Grab your print or digital copy of Go Queen.
Magazine Today. Stay.
Inspired by the incredible stories and features inside?
Visit our website to grab your copy now.
Hey, Queen. Welcome to another episode of
the Key Chat. Today we are joined by the
phenomenal Rita Smith, a relationship expert who has
captured the hearts of many withher wisdom and insight.
(00:23):
Married for over 40 years, Rita's experience and expertise
have made her the. Go to source for.
Relationship advice She went viral for her candid takes on
love and relationships, and her message of Love Can't Wait has
resonated with thousands of countless people looking to
build healthy, lasting. As the owner of Kitty Wiggle and
(00:44):
a feature guest on Essence and The Tamron Hall Show, Rita is
dedicated to helping individualsrecognize red flags, fill out
the trauma, and cultivate confidence in their single
lives. In this episode, we'll dive into
her journey, her best date, and the advice and the importance of
mental health and self love and relationships.
Get ready to be inspired. Just bring about a business
(01:11):
working hard on a mission, head high purpose driven, crown on,
never tilted. Go queen, go queen.
(01:34):
So thank you guys for joining another episode of the key chat
today. My very special guest is Miss
Rita Smith and Rita went viral for her beautiful videos and her
relationship goals. She is the epitome of
relationship couple goals. So we're going to talk about a
lot of things regarding dating and relationships and how to
keep the spice going. She's also going viral.
(01:56):
She's been seen on a lot of prominent platforms like Tamron
Hall Essence. So we're just going to chat it
up on this viral sensation. And also so she has a new ebook
come coming out called Love Can Wait.
And she also is the CEO of a spicy lingerie company called
Kitty Widow. So we're going to have a good
conversation. How are you doing today?
(02:19):
So how you doing today? I'm doing great.
I'm sorry I didn't hear. I'm doing great.
And that's OK. So I'm so happy to chat with
you. So First off, you know, of
course, I want to start off talking about this viral moment.
I know you went viral, you and babe.
That's OK. We refer to him as that.
So I know you've been married for 43 years.
So tell us about this moment andjust what made you decide to
(02:40):
start doing your videos and how did it go viral?
The viral moment shocked me. It shocked me, first of all,
always did talk about my name, my name, my name, 'cause you
know, that's my name. He good for me.
And so around the pandemic time,when we couldn't get out a lot,
you know, I started coming out with, you know, just talking
(03:01):
about it on the videos and stuff.
And I stopped. I wasn't persistent.
And people will see my daughter and say, you know, tell your
Mama, come on. You know, children that they
went to school with grown women now tell your Mama, come on,
because we need it. And I was like, oh, no, I would
say no because my business is mybusiness, you know, stuff like
that. So I started again, but my
(03:21):
daughter got sick with lupus andstopped walking.
So I just stopped period. And then when she got well
again, thank God, people start telling her again to tell me
come out and they they was calling for me.
And so my daughter said, well, you my great expert inspiration.
(03:42):
And so I had to come out and that's when it's really was my
daughter because she was like, alot of women need to hear about
your marriage. A lot of people need hope.
So it was hard that pushed me tothat.
Right. So how did it feel though when
you realize, because I know how it is during COVID, a lot of us
was doing all types of things tokeep busy and videoing things.
(04:05):
And for some of us that like to keep private, it was kind of
like a balance because like you said, old school, we really like
to keep our business to ourselves.
So how was it when you realize, wait a minute, people are really
watching these videos, that you have any regrets at all?
I don't know. I I'm this person.
It is what it is with me. What touched me the most is when
(04:29):
women came to me and said you really helping me.
That's what really touched me. And that really caused me to
tear up because I didn't see it like that.
All I saw I'm just being reader,just who I am.
I didn't see it like, oh, you know, I'm helping someone.
But now that I see it, you know,and I begin to see it back then
(04:50):
and see it now, it tears me up. It really touches my heart.
It, it humbles my heart in such a way that I feel so grateful.
I really feel grateful to God for, you know, using me in this
capacity. So I can only imagine because I
think one of the the, the thingsthat make people comfortable
when they see your videos is, you know, maybe even for single
(05:13):
women are a lesbian, as a lot ofpeople have gone through
relationship trauma. So sometimes it's hard for them
to even imagine that OK, marriages last 40 plus years.
You know, some people really don't see that.
So I think that's one of the things that people are excited
about when they do see your videos.
And so I know, like you said, a lot of different women are
(05:35):
coming to you and you see how it's made an impact.
And I know you do have the The Love Can wait.
So can you tell us about the e-book and what made you decide
to write it? Because like I said, I know that
your videos are really helping other generations to be like,
OK, these are goals that I can have one day.
I've always written love storiesand so one day I said I just
(05:57):
want to put it into a book. Like I like the right spicy
stuff that I'm working on right now.
So I just wanted to do love. Can't wait because it's like
this is something I always had in me and wanted to do and
express myself so they can know me just a tad bit more.
So that's what really prompt me that way.
(06:19):
So what are some of the things we can expect in the book
without you giving everything away?
But what are some of the things we can expect in it?
Well what I love about the part that my man put in back to the
basis, I love that because the way I see dating now to the
dating that we started in the 70s is nothing like that.
(06:41):
Like, I hate to see when women looking up a man when they're
supposed to be finding us, you know what I'm saying?
We talked about that and the chemistry, the chemistry of
being in a relationship, whetheryou're single or married, the
chemistry can be so strong and chemistry don't always have to
(07:04):
be sex. You know what I'm saying?
The chemistry could be that you all the same accord.
The chemistry could be that you like different interests, but
you still can come together and love each other interests at the
same time. And so those those were some of
the things I was talking about in the book.
And the last thing is that I really, really like about it is
(07:31):
that I'd be like to cry when I talk.
So I have to pause a little bit when I was talking about my
illness in there, you know, so people can kind of understand
that I'm not just the sex, sex, sex model.
I'm all that, you know, I know what it is to be down and to be
(07:55):
back up. You know, I know what it is to
have trials and tribulations, but I'm grateful that God bless
me with the man that I have to help me through that and the
prayers that he prayed for me because I was really in a dark,
dark place, a dark place, a darkplace literally almost to death
that place. Wow, yes, and that's.
(08:20):
I love that you're transparent too, and to me it kind of like a
night, you know, to the vows sickness and inhale.
So it's good to just show peoplethe positive side of
relationships because I think somany people have built platforms
on the negative side of men and women.
So it's refreshing and get some positivity.
So that's always a plus. So I don't want to put you on
(08:41):
the spot, but as you know, I do follow you and your daughter on
social media. And I know there's a video where
I come and I said, oh, y'all over there cutting up?
Because I want to ask you for the other single women that's
going to be tuning in. Give us some advice.
Come on, give us that auntie advice and tell us what do we
need to be looking for when we go out?
(09:03):
Because like you said, they're supposed to find us.
So what advice do you have? What's your dating advice?
What's the TV? Let me tell you what I do and me
and my daughter, we, when we go out, this is so funny.
We go out, we looking good, we smelling good.
You know what I'm saying? We leave a trail with our
perfume and believe me, the men come to the table.
(09:24):
They come to the table because they're smelling that perfume.
They're looking at the way we carry ourselves.
They're looking at the way we look.
And I tell single people, alwayskeep yourself up.
Keep yourself looking good, smelling good.
And when you go out there, shine.
Let them see you shine. And I'm telling you, when men
(09:44):
see that, they come. I didn't say you got to pick
this, but they come and always, you know, be, be faithful to
yourself, be true to yourself ofwhat you really, really want in
a man. You know what I'm saying?
That is so important. And the reason why I say that is
because a lot of women, especially single women, they
(10:06):
settle for what they don't want.And I hate to see that.
So being single, you know, my daughter, my daughter's at the
nail parlor look, hair salon, spa places, spa bed, like we
really hang out because she's single.
And when we hanging out like that, I'm no better where we go,
(10:29):
men, they follow and then, you know, I have to tell them where
I'm married, you know, and stufflike that.
But they look at that and let metell you something.
Men know who you are. They know, but you got to know
who you are. You got to know what you want
and I'm telling and when and when you know what you want,
that's what you're going to attract.
(10:51):
You're going to attract what youreally, really want and what's
going to be beneficial in your life.
Because many times people attract certain people opposite
sex and stuff like that, and then they start dating and it's
nothing that they want. You see what I'm saying?
But you have to know who you want.
Be true to yourself. That's it, that part.
(11:14):
What advice do you have too? Because I think sometimes women,
you know, and I hate the generalized, but sometimes I'll
say single people because it is what it is.
But sometimes people who are single, they may be so wrapped
up in finding a mate. Like you mentioned, you still
have to take care of yourself that they kind of think that
that's their whole identity on whether they have somebody.
(11:35):
But like you said, if you in a mindset where you like, hey, I'm
not going to settle. Sometimes it may take a little
longer because you like, hey, I'm confident and this is what I
wanted a mate and I'm going to wait until that person comes.
So what's your advice on just for people to just keep that
confidence going because some people, they struggle with that
confidence because sometimes people put themselves down
(11:56):
because they're single. I would just as a single person
achieve everything that I set out to do.
If just if you set goals for yourself, you know, just do it.
Do everything that you want to achieve.
Just even in waiting for that, you know, but you have to just
(12:18):
continue to pray or please continue to pray.
Go out, date yourself, just do something new, something good
for yourself, you know, and look, another thing is having a
nice group, you know what I'm saying?
Like group of women, you know, you can do and talk to your
little friends and stuff. Something that you can get so
(12:39):
involved in the museum. Just keep keep rotating, you
know, and keep moving because itcan come that particular day.
It can just happen. You know, I can remember back
when I was 14 1/2 and I was going through some things in my
parents home with my mom and I just my husband always saw me
(13:02):
and I saw him but I didn't see him as my boyfriend.
He saw me as a girlfriend but I didn't see him like that.
But that day I was going throughsome stuff but he didn't know.
He asked me for my number and I gave him my number.
I was smiling down, you know what I'm saying?
But see, I although I was going through all this stuff, I kept
(13:23):
rotating, I kept moving, no one know what I was going through
and I kept praying. And when that happened in my
life that God knew I must have needed that because it happened
in my life. He came into my life at a good
time in my life when I was really struggling where I was at
and all I wanted honestly was just a boyfriend just to talk to
(13:43):
and you know, kind of get some of these things out.
But then I didn't get them out because I was embarrassed.
But at that time, I just kept rotating.
I kept moving, I kept evolving. And He saw me every day, every
day. And that particular day, usually
I don't give guys my number at all.
I wouldn't have that particular day I did.
(14:04):
And God saw fit. See, so we never know.
You have to just keep joining you.
You've got to keep moving. You got to keep joining you keep
achieving. And that join when you least
expect, That's when your blessing come.
Wow. And of course, like you said,
you've been married for over 43 years.
(14:26):
So for the other part of people that's going to be watching,
people that are already in relationships or in marriages,
as we know, marriages, relationships, it's a lot of
work. So what advice also can you have
for people to just keep the spice going and just to keep the
communication going? How to just keep the fun and the
spark in their relationship? Well, you know, everybody know I
(14:46):
love to role play as a wife. I've been role-playing since 19,
like the day I got married and it was beautiful.
And I just kept role-playing. I love to role play because see,
my man's shy and I helped to bring out some things in him
that he had deep within him, right?
(15:07):
But see, I'm role-playing not knowing what was going on with
him either. And I would say, you know, I
would spark up a conversation, you know what I'm saying?
Even in role-playing, even in the costume that I would wear,
that's false conversation, right?
And as I kept doing that, a lot of communication came out of it.
(15:30):
A lot of emotions came out of it.
I'm telling you, a lot of thingsthat the both of us had in US
came out of it for the good. And that communication came out
of it because I was the one who didn't want to communicate.
I was the one like, I'm gonna say it like this.
And I'm and he was saying, no, we're going to sit down and talk
about even enroll clean. We kept that spark and I find,
(15:55):
let me tell you, I find a lot ofadults, a lot of adults when I
mean weddings, marriages, that being 1540 something and 30
something years, they don't evensleep with their spouses.
They sleep in separate bedrooms,not up in here, no.
And you have to keep that line of communication open.
(16:17):
It's like every day I could findsomething new to do for my man
and with my man and he does the same thing with me because we
working together, I don't have to do all the work and he don't
have to do all the work. But that role-playing has really
set everything aflame. It has really helped us set
everything aflame and the communication and setting goals
(16:40):
for your marriage, setting goals.
I actually sat down where my book is, Tamika, I have this
book right here and I sat down during the day and I write down
things that I want to do in my marriage and I want to see go on
in my marriage and happen and demonstrate in my marriage.
This is what I do and it's called a prayer journal, which
(17:03):
is my diary also. And I write these things down
and I watch these things come alive in my life.
I pray, I write it, I believe it, I trust God.
And I'm telling you it comes alive.
And it's so. It's so beautiful because if you
know my back story to be where I'm at today, there is a God.
(17:26):
Trust me, there is a God and Godbless me when I say he blessed
me. He richly blessed me with this
man. He richly blessed me with this
man. Ever since the both of us became
Christians and I would never forgive that.
And we learned we carve out everything that we want to see
(17:48):
in our relationship. I'll tell people, don't let your
relationship die. Even people that have kids.
I have 3 adult kids. I homeschool my kids, right?
But I never took away time from my man because I didn't want to
be where OK, our kids are gone and we just amped the heads
because you didn't do anything during the whole time the kids
(18:11):
were home. And now we amped the nesters and
it is on even more. And my kids knew when that door
was shut. They knew it was our time.
So when I see a lot of marriages, I don't want no stale
marriage. I'm sorry, I don't want that.
I don't want a marriage where, you know, you cussing me and I'm
(18:31):
cussing you and we can't get along.
See, I grew up with that. I didn't want that and I refuse
to even accept something like that.
And when I see a lot of marriages where and I need some
of these people, I'm talking about all my friends where it's
separate bedrooms, separate bankaccounts.
No, no, no, you know, it's a lotin marriage and people say it's
(18:57):
a lot of work, but I'll kid you not.
I cannot say that because in my marriage, my husband have done
everything to give me the salt life.
I might be cracking up a little because I, I, I cry about things
like this. He give me the soft life, the
life that is stress free. He'll take it before he give it
to me. And so during that time that I
(19:20):
was talking about when I was sick, I felt so bad for him for
that because keep always giving that to me.
And I appreciate that God knew what I needed.
That's why I tell women, trust in God, trust in your faith,
have your relationship with God.Because let me tell you, when
you have that, you got everything.
And God ain't going to leave youconfidence and he's not going to
(19:40):
bring you somebody that's not fitting for you.
He's not going to do that. And I know if he blessed me the
way he blessed me, and he has truly, richly blessed me with
this man that I'm married to, hecan do it for anybody, Anybody.
That's so beautiful, but I want to ask you too, just like you
(20:01):
said how God sent you the right person, there's some people who.
They're going through trauma actually in their relationships
because they may not have had that fairy tale.
And then obviously they may be divorced or just had a bad
relationship. And sometimes that trauma holds
people back as well or causes them problems and bringing not
bringing that into the next relationship or it may cause
(20:24):
some issues and just dating in general or finding that trust.
What's your advice for people who they may have had a bad
relationship and they're. Kind of struggling with that.
So they want a day, but they're not sure they really do want
that special somebody, but they're kind of being held back
from, you know, the past. So what's your advice on just
healing from past relationship trauma so that they can still
(20:45):
have a positive, healthy outlookon just dating in the future?
Don't love scare. Don't love scare.
Because when things like that happen and then the right person
come along, we scared and we mess up.
We can miss out. Don't.
A part of that is in my ebook Don't Love Scare, Love freely.
(21:08):
Learn to love freely. You know, if even if you have to
take it bit by bit, day by day, learn to love freely and, and
try not to live back in that past.
Come in that future and pray that Lord bring me to the future
because I don't want to live back in that past.
And don't let me love scare because if you love scare,
(21:30):
you're going to miss out. You're going to miss out.
I would say don't love scare. Wow.
That's some very good advice, you know, because I think
sometimes we think about how fear can hold us back in other
parts of our life, but we may not necessarily associate how
fear can hold us back and just our relationships with people
too. So that's a very good
(21:50):
observation. So I want to ask you, of course,
about your other business is Kitty Wiggle.
So tell us about that. It sounds super spicy.
So tell us about Kitty Wiggle. Kitty Wiggle is close to my
heart because during the time I have endometriosis and at 26, I
got sick. At 23 after I had my daughter,
(22:11):
my last baby, and I didn't know what it was, I was suffering
232425 I mean suffering. And the bad thing is I was on a
point of debt, but I didn't know.
And so during that time my husband always bought me really
beautiful Lacey lingerie becausehe loved lace.
(22:32):
And so I was so sick until, you know, he would have to bathe me
and all that, and he'll bring the loungerie, you know, he'd
put it in a bed. He'd put it on me and stuff.
Because at the time, you know, when you're sick like that, your
body can't stand to feel certainthings.
But he would buy me these silky pieces and these Lasik pieces,
(22:52):
and he will put it on me. And when I was laying that sick
and I was crying and I say one day I want to sell lingerie and
I said a reason why because I know what I'm going through
right now and my body couldn't take the sheets and you know,
certain other pains and stuff. And I said I want any woman that
(23:15):
go through this or not. But during that time I said any
woman that's sick, I just want her to feel secure because I
felt insecure. I mean, I felt so insecure
because I felt invalid because Icouldn't do anything from the
way my life was to where it came.
Oh my God. And I was so embarrassed.
(23:38):
I was so embarrassed, but I didn't tell him that at the
time. But he kept loving me.
He kept bathing me. And so I was like, one day I'm
going to sell lingerie. I said I'm going to sell penis
because my husband is really into penis.
Like he loves these penis and stuff.
And that's what caused me to want to do that because of the
(24:01):
illness that I had. And then at 26th, I finally got
the first surgery, almost killedme.
And but although we couldn't do anything, he kept touching me,
you know, touching and all this good stuff.
And 27 1/2, it came back. I had endometrial cancer that
(24:21):
time at 27 1/2, but I still was wearing that lingerie.
He still put that lounger ramp on me.
He still was bathed in me. He still was making sure to take
care of me. But that lounger Ray, to me was
so important. It made me felt like I can help,
you know, be bisexual when I couldn't be.
(24:42):
It made me feel like I could because I felt dead inside.
I'm telling I felt so dead. You know, they had taken out
everything I had. You know what I'm saying?
I'm laughing because I laugh a lot, but they had taken out of
everything that I had and I feltso insecure.
I felt insecure with the cut on my stomach because you know,
that one side to the other side and stapling and all that.
Oh, I was just so embarrassed, you know, I was so embarrassed.
(25:07):
But I'll kid you not, every timehe put a piece of lingerie on me
and pain is on me, I just thought feeling like I'm coming
back to life now, I'm coming back to life.
I'm coming back to life because at first I feel like, you know
what, this marriage is over. I was trying to get him somebody
to be with one of my friends, you know, because I was all like
(25:29):
close to death, you know, then Iwas small children.
And so that part. That's something else and I
think you know it. Just as women, we go through so
many different things, especially the physical part
that we go through. And I understand I had a
(25:50):
hysterectomy too, so I get it. When you are starred up, are you
just not feeling like yourself? I just think it's beautiful that
I mean, when you put on certain things, you just feel like like
that Shania Twain Twain something you feel like a woman.
You feel like you build your confidence no matter what moods
you're in when you put on that, that lace, that silk, or just
like you said, the right perfume, that hair, that
(26:12):
whatever it is, extra cherry on top to make you feel good no
matter how you're feeling on theinside.
So I definitely can understand that.
So I want to ask you to just in your relationship and just as a
woman, like I said, things that you've gone through, going
through cancer and just, I know how it is when you have those
reproductive issues, it's draining.
It really takes away a quality of your life.
(26:35):
So I want to ask you cuz on our platform, one of the things we
do like to talk about with the Queens is mental health and how
important that is. So what are some of the things
that to do or have maybe even done in a path to cater to your
mental health and Wellness? Well, first of all, I did a lot
of praying. I did a lot of praying and I, I
(26:58):
start exercising more because I used to exercise.
I used to be so active before that day, before that time came,
I did a lot of things with my kids, a whole lot of stuff with
my kids, decorating, just things.
And I love to do because I love to decorate.
You know, I started like I neverwas a shopper at that time.
(27:18):
I started shopping, you know, a lot, you know, just kind of
build myself back up, you know what I'm saying?
And feeling, you know, wonderfulall over again.
So I did a lot of that and I have a daughter and my kids are
my everything, but I literally almost died with my daughter.
(27:38):
And having my daughter help me so much with that endometriosis
thing because let me tell you, every time I would see her, I
knew I couldn't leave here because I always play with my
daughter, like dishes, baby dolls.
And I'm telling you, I'm tellingyou, I did a lot of stuff like
that with my daughter. I did so much with because my
(28:01):
husband would make sure he have the boys.
I did so much with my daughter that helped to build me up.
Even to this day we still like that, you know, I just, I mean
like dress my daughter up, Polish her toes, Polish her
nails, comb my hair. Just like I was intense with
this because I wanted the girls so bad, you know?
(28:24):
So she having her and doing thatall the things that I did with
this child, you know, like teaching just everything, you
know, loving on her, you know, it just it did a lot for me.
It did a lot for me, a whole lotfor me.
It helped me to get where I needed to get in because I
(28:47):
realized I said, you know, I didn't want to leave them in the
in the beginning, but she was a baby.
And I felt like God bless me with this daughter because he
knew I was going to go through this rough time in my life and
having this little quiet girl with me all the time doing
different things. I will help her decorating with
(29:09):
me, you know, anything that she wanted to do or I wanted to do
that bought me joy. It really bought me joy.
You know how some people say, well, I'm living for my
children, that part, you know, Iwasn't worried about all the
material things because I've been blessed with that.
(29:29):
But I needed something more tangible, you know what I'm
saying? And she was that something that
I needed more tangible for me. That is so beautiful and I trust
me. I know I have 3 kids, but I only
have one daughter so I know how that's like a different bind
(29:50):
that's practically indescribable.
So. Things I want to ask you about
before we wrap everything is ourplatform as well.
We talk about self love. Self love is something that is
extremely important to just havethat confidence in yourself and
to just really value yourself. And also when you have that self
love, especially when we talk about relationships, like you
said, just sometimes the settling thing or just maybe
(30:12):
feeling uncomfortable that you're single and putting
yourself down. But when you have that self love
value, you know that you're worthy.
Whether you have your man, whether you have your lady,
whether you're single, whether you're not, just to still have
that self love and confidence toknow that you're valuable and
you're worthy. So I want to ask you, how do you
define self love and what role has it played in your life?
(30:33):
I didn't hear the last part I'm sorry.
That's OK. I want to ask you how do you
define self love and what role has it played in your life?
Self love for me old girl now self self love for me is just
enjoying my life, enjoying my marriage even more.
(30:56):
I'm I'm like I cannot put it allinto words.
How wonderful it is for me at this time because I have been
through so much. Give me a minute.
(31:35):
I have been through so much. The storm and the rain, you
know, being ill. And so now I'm just really,
really, really enjoying my life.I'm enjoying my marriage even
more. I'm enjoying our spontaneous
dates together. I'm enjoying him just calling me
saying look, I'm coming pick youup like we 15, like I'm 15 all
(31:59):
over again. I'm enjoying everything and I
take nothing for granted. I take nothing for granted
because I've been through so much and been down for so much
and self love for me. I you know, at one time I'll
never really get my nails done, but I get my nails done now.
(32:20):
Always did get my hair done. I still love to decorate.
This is the things I love doing and I love shopping now and I
never used to love shopping the way I do now.
And I'm just really enjoying thelife that God has blessed me
with, with my man and my family.That's myself, love.
(32:43):
That's myself love. And I'm great.
I am so, so grateful for that. And I tell anybody, you know,
love yourself, you know, encourage yourself even when
you're down, encourage yourself in the Lord.
I get the scripture, especially when I was sick, and I would
(33:05):
just quote it and quote it and quote it, you know, to get well.
And so now, you know, I'm, I'm like, I'm up on the chandelier,
you know, I'm just, I'm, I'm just enjoying life and I'm
enjoying it more abundantly because when I look back, you
know, it was horrible. My little self love.
(33:30):
I didn't have it anymore, you know what I'm saying?
For a long, for some years, because I was so down.
And so now it's like, oh, I'm gone, I'm just gone, gone with
the wind. Fabulous.
Enjoy the man in my life that means a lot to me, that means a
(33:50):
lot to me. And then we do so much together
that means everything to me. Self love to me is even having
my family. I have two boys, grown men, 42
and 43. The oldest one in my baby boy
42. That's myself love.
My 5 grandkids. All of that is myself.
(34:12):
Love for me. Wow.
I love it. I love it and the keyword is
just gratitude. Just being grateful, beautiful.
And then just like you say to gothrough a lot and said we have
peace. Like you have peace, you have a
healthy relationship and a family and there's nothing like
(34:34):
peace, especially after you've been through a storm.
So I know it's tears of joy. So I just think it's.
Just so beautiful. And this has been an amazing
conversation, of course. But I want to ask you before we
end everything, like, can you leave people that's going to
watch this or listen to this episode?
Can you leave us with an affirmation?
(34:57):
Always, always put your trust inGod.
Always, Always you know and always you know this mind.
(35:20):
I will and I do put my trust in God, therefore.
Yes, I love it and lose. You can't go wrong when you put
God first. So I love it.
I love it. Thank you so much for this
conversation. You have definitely touched me
today. This has been great.
Before we end everything now, tell everybody how they can find
you, how they can follow you on social media and how they can
(35:43):
get this lingerie and also that.I'm on Instagram, Bad girl would
be five O 4. YouTube, I'm sorry, YouTube Bad
Girl would be five O 4. Facebook Rita Smith TikTok Bear
Girl would be five O 4 And my ebook Love Can't wait.
(36:05):
It's on bookbaby.com, My lingerie Kitty Wiggle
collection. Awesome, awesome.
I love it. Thank you so much again for this
conversation and I just appreciate just how you've given
us just the full journey on you can have a healthy relationship.
(36:26):
I think it's going to be perfect.
No, because we're going to have bad days.
We go through trials and tribulations, but when you love
somebody, you have to be there for that person.
You know, a relationship is a give and a take, and I think
that's one of the things that weresonate with you because we
seeing that is two people who truly love each other and when
(36:48):
you love you give and when you love you also take.
And I just love how like 43 years strong, like this is a
it's a beautiful love story and we need to be more black love.
So I definitely appreciate both of you.
So you and your man. I love it.
Like I just love seeing it, you know, just makes everybody
happy. So thank you again for this
(37:08):
beautiful conversation. So guys, remember, please go
ahead and follow Rita if you arefollowing her already and go
ahead and look up the information.
Get that ebook and also you ladies are feeling spicy.
Go ahead and check out Kitty Wiggle collection.com and go
ahead and make yourself feel good.
Whether you have a man or not, you could still get you some
spicy lingerie, some nice lace, some silk.
(37:30):
Go ahead and treat yourself. So thank you guys again for
tuning in and just remember to just love yourself.
Whether you have a ring, whetheryou don't, whether you're
looking, just remember to value yourself.
Don't settle. You're worthy of valuable.
You're valuable whether you're single or if you're seeking and
you really want that in your heart.
Just pray and trust God and justknow that whatever is meant for
(37:51):
you will be. So thank you guys for tuning in
to the key chat. You can catch this episode and
more www.goclean.com. Make sure you be safe and go
love yourself. She's quiet about a business,
working hard on a mission.
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