In this empowering episode of The Q-Chat, host Shronda Armstrong is joined by Myisha Procter for a powerful and heartfelt conversation about what it truly means to celebrate yourself—every single day.
Because here’s the truth: you are the moment. You are valuable, worthy, and deserving of your own celebration—not just when you achieve something, but even in your becoming. You don’t need a milestone to affirm your greatness.
Whether you’re healing, evolving, or simply learning to put yourself first, this episode will remind you that daily self-love is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.
In this episode we discuss:
Why self-celebration matters (especially for women of color)
How to stop waiting for outside validation
Affirming your self-worth on purpose
Real talk for purpose-driven Queens on a journey of growth
This is your reminder to Geaux be the celebration you’ve been waiting for every day—because the crown has always been yours.
www.geauxqueen.com
#TheQChat #GeauxQueen #CelebrateYourself #SelfLovePodcast #DailyAffirmation #WomenEmpowermentPodcast #BlackWomenPodcasters #SelfWorthJourney
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Grab your print or digital copy of Go Queen Magazine today.
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Visit our website to grab your copy.
Now you know what I want you to start doing today?
I want you to start staying awayfrom people who do not celebrate
(00:20):
you. I want you to be around people
who really, truly think that youare a big deal.
And I'm not kidding. You deserve to be celebrated.
You're beautiful, you're smart, you're courageous.
You've gone through so many different things that people
have no idea you've been through.
(00:40):
And you survived it. You came out like a soldier,
like a champ. So I don't want you to go ahead
and reduce yourself anymore. Don't be around anybody that
does not see your greatness and who don't celebrate you and who
do not applaud you. And you know who else that
includes you. You need to make sure that
(01:01):
you're celebrating yourself. You need to make sure that you
acknowledge that you are something else, that you are
something amazing and you deserve applause.
So start applauding yourself today.
Start celebrating yourself. Give yourself those flowers and
don't accept anything less. But I'm telling you today, right
(01:22):
now, declare that you're not going to be in any more spaces
that do not see the value that you hold.
So they're not celebrating you. They're not giving you that
applause. You need to walk away.
And I'm telling you, you better not be one of those people.
You better applaud yourself. Celebrate yourself.
(01:43):
You are a big deal for go ahead and walk in your power and act
like it and remember it today. Welcome back to the Q Chat, the
podcast where Queens come to speak boldly, love loudly, and
reign unapologetically. I'm your host, Rhonda Armstrong.
(02:05):
Today's episode is all about celebrating yourself daily and
intentionally because the truth is, you're a big deal.
You're valuable and you don't need a milestone or a moment to
honor the greatness within you. I'm joined by the radiant Myesha
Proctor and together we're having a real conversation on
(02:26):
what it looks like to stop shrinking and start celebrating
your work every single day. So let's get into it, Queen.
She's a queen about a business, working hard on a mission and
hot purpose driven crown on never tilted go queen.
(02:56):
She's a queen about a business, working hard on a mission, Had
high purpose driven crown on navratility.
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
So thank you guys for joining another episode of the Q Chat.
(03:19):
We are back for 2025 and I'm so excited to bring you guys a new
set of fresh shows and beautifultopics.
Of course, we're gearing towardsspotlighting our favorite topic,
which is self love. So today my special guest is
Miss Myesha Proctor and she is the sequent Unicorn and I'm
going to let her introduce herself.
(03:40):
But I just want to tell you guys, we're going to talk about
celebrating yourselves. We just rang in a New Year's, we
got to learn to celebrate ourselves and just make sure we
show that love to ourselves. We are the most important ones
right now. To self love is not a bad thing.
So let's get going with this. My Isha, how you doing today?
Hello, hello. I am thrilled and honestly
(04:03):
honored to be able to share thismoment in time in this space and
place with you and all of those who are checking this out,
tuning in, and hopefully findinginspiration in our conversation.
Awesome. And you're a special guest
because you were one of my guests before I even hit the
cameras. That's.
Right. That's right.
(04:24):
You were definitely one of my original guests when the show
first started, when we started bringing guests on.
So I'm so happy and just blessedto have you back five years
later. Thank God that's.
Crazy. It's so crazy.
It's been that long and, you know, it's almost like so much
has changed, right? And yet in a good way, so many
things remain the same. And but I am so proud of this
(04:46):
journey that you've been on. You know, I never stopped
following, engaging, listening, and it's wonderful to be able to
celebrate, you know, five years.So that's great.
Thank you so much. So as I mentioned, I know we
wanted to just talk about just celebrating ourselves, but one
thing about you that I love, I always say that you bring the
sparkle because of course you came on social media is the
(05:08):
sequin Unicorn. But before we get to the
celebration, I do what would like you to give people a
background because as I said, I,I, if I tell someone to go to
your IG, I thought that is goingto get a boost of energy like a
booth. So I would love you to start
first, but just giving everyone your background for people who
may not be familiar. So I really feel like you have a
(05:30):
very bubbly content which is much needed.
Can you just give us a background 1st and just the
energy that you bring and just the background with the Sequin
Unicorn just so you can get a background with yourself first
before we get started. Absolutely.
Well, I currently live in Brooklyn, NY.
I've got Biggie over the shoulder here, but I grew up in
(05:51):
Chicago, so I'm a shy town girl and, you know, spent a lot of
time there kind of really cominginto my own.
You know, I grew up in a community where I didn't see a
lot of people who looked like me.
And I will say that was a big part of trying to curate my own
joy and figure out how to, you know, define my own sense of
(06:13):
style and being in purpose. Even at a young age, you know, I
knew that I physically just in being stood out, but I wanted to
find new ways to kind of bring that to the forefront through
how I dressed, you know, the types of things I participated
in that you grow up with a lot of biases and influences around
everything from oh, black peopledon't swim.
I heard that all the time I was a swimmer or, you know, we're
(06:35):
not into music and we're brilliant in music.
And so really redefining myself,redefining stereotypes and
really coming into my own. And so that took me actually my
collegiate years I spent in New Orleans at Xavier University and
I studied music there. And I really say that that I
really lit my heart up. That city is magical.
(06:57):
It's inspiring. It in itself glitz and glams
and, and there is nothing, I think, no place on earth like
it. And I'm so grateful that that
was the big part of my chapter because taking that early stage
work and then going there for all those years really helped
mold me into being fully triumphant and confident in who
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I am, in redefining my style andknowing that I love colors and
sparkle. And that's OK.
You know, every day it could be Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
And so, you know, I kind of brought that into my spirit and
my being, and I never left it behind.
After college, I spent time building my career, which
started off in cosmetics. So my career started at Sephora.
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I spent some years at L'Oreal aswell as doing celebrity makeup
on tour with several talents andwell known artists and then got
into corporate beauty. And I will tell you those themes
of shine bright, be yourself, living your light remain true.
But I did encounter a lot of people, obviously through makeup
artistry, skin care and beauty who really didn't feel like
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their best selves. They were having challenges with
confidence and they needed positive reassurance that they
weren't really getting in magazines.
When you weren't seeing people who look like you or in your
community. I can relate to that, that don't
look like you or represent you. And so I really strive to create
a platform as social media emerge, to be a destination, one
(08:29):
for myself, to be reminded of all the great things that are me
and that kind of giving me permission to be myself.
But I also wanted it to be a destination for other people to
find inspiration, to be remindedof their greatness.
And I kind of call it now if yousee it in my bio, your daily
spoonful of sugar. Because if you need that pick me
up or that reminder or that midday refresh to encourage you
(08:52):
to put on that red lipstick or try that new pair of earrings or
just step out and be more triumphantly you, you can get
that through my platforms. So through both my leadership
style and my career now, I'm nowthe chief revenue officer for
the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and all the social
platforms that I support. It is going to be always
(09:14):
consistent. Not every day is going to be
great, but we can make every daygreat.
And it doesn't take a lot. Just micro moments.
Micro investments can leave us brighter, better and more
restored. So that's a little bit about me
and my journey and a little bit about how I came to have that
sequin Unicorn descriptor. I love it and to so many things,
(09:36):
points that you hit on, just having those reminders and we
need that daily dose of sugar because just having that
reassurance for yourself, that boost of confidence, I think
sometimes we take it for granted.
Not everyone has that confidencewithin.
And sometimes even we don't realize sometimes that we're not
getting that boost to ourselves because maybe we're too busy in
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the hustle and bustle of life. If we're nurturers.
Sometimes when we're nurturers, we're so busy being that
shoulder for other people are boosting other people up that
sometimes we forget that we alsoneed that booster.
Like, Hey, you are a big deal. Even personally, I know we had
our interview scheduled actuallylast week.
And I'm like, you know what? I'm actually exhausted.
(10:22):
I, you know, I had to acknowledge that and I think
sometimes we have this. We as black women of course too,
we do wear visible Cape. We all know that and we feel
sometimes the pressure to be to keep moving, to keep moving and
hustling and bustling. And sometimes we don't even
rest. And in that situation as well,
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we're also not giving ourselves just the confidence that we need
to because we can also be confident enough to say, hey, I
need a break or I'm valuable enough, I'm worthy enough that I
need to take care of myself. So there's so many different
layers and pockets to just having that confidence or
self-care and self love. So I wanted to get to this
(11:06):
beautiful post that you had on LinkedIn and I really loved,
which gave me the inspiration for this conversation.
I'm going to go ahead and read apoint of it.
So you have this beautiful post.And he said yesterday you did
something that once seemed impossible.
Here's your official permission to pause.
I'm proud of you. I hope you're proud of you too.
And in that post, you were encouraging women to celebrate
(11:29):
with themselves. It was such great inspiration.
And it's something that I feel that we need to remind ourselves
to give ourselves that round of applause to celebrate ourselves.
So I wanted to start off with what are just some ways.
I know you mentioned there's some we can do, some micro
pockets sometimes. Just what are some daily doses
of sugar ways that we can just celebrate ourselves to hype
(11:51):
ourselves up? Yes, you know, I think thank you
for bringing that that post in that language up because there
was a few important words in there for me that permission.
I think sometimes as you mentioned, we are the
superheroes, the superheroes to everyone around us in our lives.
And we don't often give ourselves permission to either
(12:12):
receive a shero or just take offthat Cape and rest, you know.
And so if if either through words or through listening,
listen to this conference or a post that you come across, you
almost are given that permission, then that is of
service to you. And I think we're doing great
things if we can grant that. But how do you grant yourself
(12:33):
almost permission on daily basis?
One, I think, you know, I'm looking at your beautiful jacket
here, the floral, you know, design.
It fits you so beautifully. I think sometimes we
underestimate just taking a little step to not just jump out
of bed and put something on, butsay what?
What am I going to feel good in today?
And you know, sometimes we startworrying about what will people
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think, right? Again, that's putting others
before ourselves and what will people think instead of looking
at that closet or looking to saywhat, what will I think?
What will make me feel good today?
What's going to make me feel confident or sexy or powerful?
And then picking what we're putting on based on that.
There is something so influential about what the
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colors that we wear and how we feel in our attire, even down to
the putting on those favorite earrings.
Maybe they're, you know, from your mother or your grandmother
or you bought them and they tellyou a story.
These moments are like, in a way, celebrating ourselves,
honoring ourselves. And so if we are just jumping
out of bed, grabbing whatever wecan or we're putting on, well,
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what will others think is appropriate or what you know,
what will help me fit in? We are robbing ourselves of the
ability to celebrate ourselves. And so where it can all start is
how am I going to start today? How do I want to present in the
day based on me and my opinion? And that can become your first
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celebration. I love that.
You know, it's so true. I think just that thing in the
back of your head, what would people think if I throw on this
outfit? What would people think if I
wear my hair this this way? What would you think if I wear
this bright, bold color that maybe no one else is wearing?
Even like 2 weeks ago I was in the grocery store and that's so
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funny because that particularly I was like really tired.
So I'm walking down the aisle, you know, sometimes like you're
about to kind of crash into someone.
The person. We would just both, if I went
this way, she went that way. Then if I went that way, she
went that way. So then once we finally got our
groove, when she got past me, I took another glance at her and
this is sister. She had these nice earrings on
her natural hair. She had these locks, her outfit,
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everything. And I was like, you look great.
She right that I was like, I just I just have to tell us like
you look great. So she just I just love
everything. Like her locks were banging her
earrings for a night shift and I'm a sucker for women earrings.
Had this nice winning earrings on this nice sweater and I was
like, wow, I was like, you look really great.
I was like, I love your hair, your earrings, everything, your
(15:06):
outfit. And it made me like, it just
gave me like a boost of energy just to see how she looked in
the grocery store, you know? So we need that boost.
And even when we like, we put that, I like Little Richard
would say, put that thing on. You know, we put that thing on.
Yeah. Like it types up other people
too. So I think sometimes we also
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underestimate just the power that our energy has.
You know, like that boost can also boost someone else.
So I just also think it's important just when we really
think about it, just how we put ourselves on, you know, even
boost people and it's like I walking billboard and I think
that's a good thing. I love that walking billboard.
Absolutely. You know, back to really
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thinking about, you know, some people say celebration, you
know, that's feels so big, but it can be these small moments.
And I absolutely believe that not only is it a walking
billboard, it's, you know, it's your reflection.
So when you walk past that mirror, do you get excited, just
as excited as you got? I'm sure she was like, oh, look
at my locks, look at these earrings.
And that's that becomes my our internal celebration.
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And then I love what you said. Then it exudes out to the world.
And let's say that day wasn't your best day or, you know, you
had had a day where, you know, you just kind of rolled up, got
ready to go. Now you see her, her celebrating
herself invites you to celebrateyourself.
Oh, tomorrow it's cute. Today I'm getting cute to mock
up, right? Like like, where am I wooden
(16:34):
earrings, right? And so it is like kind of that
ripple effect of if I celebrate myself by way of, you know,
putting myself together, wear myhair how I want, put on my
earrings, take a little extra time to put on my eyelashes or
put on this outfit. You know, I was talking to
someone the other day who was like, I love, why don't she was
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like, I love to wear a tie. I just love the look.
And she's like, but I'm always concerned just what will people
say or how they'll judge me or. And I said, think of how much
you've taken away from this delightful moment, right?
This celebration of your style, your sense of empowerment and
giving that power to others who quite frankly, are either going
(17:16):
to be super inspired by it. Look at her rocking that tie or
not honestly being real, not noticing at all.
And that's not a bad thing either.
You know, people are all we think people are looking and
they looking at themselves, right?
So you know, and so she was like, you are so right.
So she put on her fabulous suit hat on her tie, you know, her,
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her whole style, her red lipstick and she sent me a bunch
of pictures and she was like, I just am having the time of my
life. I feel so great.
And I said good for you. Good for you for putting aside
self doubt, limiting beliefs, anything that will hold you back
and celebrating yourself throughyour style and through your
expression. So that's where it can start
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small thing. It can start right there with
just putting yourself as the priority and worry less about
what people will think. You Rock You and I love you said
put that thing on and. What you touched on really is
that imposter syndrome because it just sits on the side of my
shoulder, whether we have and wecan be a confident person, but
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we everyone has their own internal struggles here.
They just have those moments where it's like you just don't
feel like you're it. And that really will stop you
from just having that confidencethat you need.
And again, it really is a rippleeffect.
And even when I complimented that sister, like it made me
feel good because I was like, yes, she did it because I, I was
(18:40):
happy that I was able to tell her as she was walking by
because I just didn't want that moment to pass.
I was like, wow, she was really right.
And it really, it did hype me upbecause that was a day that I
was just in the grocery store looking whatever kind of way.
It's always that one day where it's like, I'm just going to run
in the store. But it was just like, wow, you
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know, I'm like, I want to make more effort that even when I'm
walking in the grocery store because it does make you feel
good, you know, and it is a ripple effect.
And again, I just feel like it'sthat imposter syndrome that
makes you think, well, if I wearthis tie, what is someone going
to think about me? And like you said, sometimes we
overthink things so much, but they're really not thinking that
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hard about why is she wearing that?
You know, if anyone's looking orthinking, it's generally
probably because they admire exactly, you know, are they
admire how bold you are to even do that.
And as far as the winds, like, for example, like we go Queen,
we just started these pink rain empowerment calls.
So we've been doing these empowerment calls like every
(19:44):
other Saturday. And in the calls towards the
end, I mentioned to the women, hey, let's everybody go around
and celebrate a win. So this just, you know, what's
the win that you like to announce?
And I always tell them this doesn't mean like you won an
Academy Award last month, that win.
Maybe I walked this week. I've been struggling with
(20:07):
exercise, you know, just a win. And it's been really important
to me and it's one of the most favorite parts of the call
because. Celebrate your win because
something that you may think it's minor is something big and
it makes you feel good, you know, and it's just good to
celebrate others. What are some ways that I guess
(20:27):
some exercises maybe, and by exercises, I mean maybe some
actions that a person could takethat let's say that they're
really are struggling with theirconfidence.
And sometimes the way we're raised, we don't necessarily
know how to complement or celebrate ourselves without
maybe thinking, don't think you don't think too big of yourself.
So what are some ways that maybea person who is struggling with
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that can be, can learn that, hey, it's OK to think that
you're a big deal. And So what are some ways a
person can maybe overcome that? Absolutely.
So, you know, I'm going to I'm going to share something that
might kind of flip things on on its head here.
But I think one of the greatest things you can do is not only do
those micro celebrations, but champion for your mistakes.
(21:14):
You know, we are only evolving and learning and getting better
and bigger and brighter when we're messing up.
And I think it goes back to whatyou said about how we were
raised. You know, sometimes you're in
that environment where you didn't get the good grades.
What's wrong with you? Or, you know, you didn't act
right. You know, what's wrong with you
(21:34):
Or, you know, you messed up the recipe, you know, like, you
know. And so we may have come to fear
the mistake, the mess up, the lesson.
We put this pressure on ourselves that we have to get it
perfect every time. And then we rob ourselves of the
beauty of the lesson. You know, if you think about
children, there's a beautiful innocence there where they're
(21:57):
exploring, they fall, they get back up, they fall, they get
back up. You know, they, they try to put
a toy together or play with a toy doesn't work.
They try it another way. Why?
Because when we're when their children were going good, right?
Hey, right. And then something happens when
we get older where it's like suddenly you're supposed to have
it all figured out. So my beautiful Queens, my
(22:17):
beautiful ladies, celebrate as triumphantly as you do, have
these wonderful moments. I want you to do that too.
I did this. I did so this, my Cowen, you
know what? I did get the recipe wrong in
the Mac and cheese to say, you know, but I know I'm going to
get it right the next time. That's right, girl.
Can't wait to taste it. Or you know what, I had to get a
report and I missed the deadline, but I realized how I'm
(22:40):
going to better strategize for the future.
Good job, girl. And I think there's something so
empowering about taking what we would normally use to weigh
ourselves down and suddenly giveit levity and light that goes.
You know what? I did go for that walk today
because I'm trying to get my exercise on.
(23:00):
But I also was planning to go for a 30 minute walk and only
did 15 minutes. Good for me, right?
And so good for me. And so tomorrow, though, I'm
going to now strive for that 30.And so I think, you know, if we
start to embrace that and then celebrate each other, reach out.
OK. How was your day today?
(23:22):
It was good. You know, I I got I got some
really good feedback from my boss.
OK, where'd you mess up? Right.
And start to help each other create permission for you to go.
Now I really messed up though, because, you know, I got some
numbers wrong in the report or, you know, I got something
confused at work. Good for you girl, for
acknowledging that you growing. I love that for you.
(23:44):
We now completely turn that on its head.
We look forward to the mistakes or the trip UPS or the lessons
and we now have two things to celebrate what I did great and
what I learned great. And that can be completely
transformative because now it's not a win lose.
It's a live and thrive. Wow, I love that a living
(24:08):
thrive. You know, it makes me think of
like, you know, the time of the year and it's up for your
performance for me at work and you're getting kind of nervous
like, Oh my God, you know, I'm not really looking forward to
this and ask me no, what a performance should be.
It gives you your good points and it gives you some things to
improve on. It's not necessarily anything to
beat you down, but it's just a transparent, hey, this is your
(24:30):
review of your performance. Here's where you are shining at
and here's where you can maybe work on some improvement.
And that's not a bad thing, justlike you mentioned to just our
mistakes, just to celebrate our mistakes.
And it's so true. We have so much pressure on
ourselves back to having that invisible Cape that we can't
make mistakes. But again, when we just focus on
(24:53):
trying to live in this perfect image, we do miss the blessing
and a lesson. And a lesson is meant to be
everything is to be counted, alljoy, even the things that we
think are. Oh, my God.
Like, I can't believe that I made that silly mistake.
Yeah. But if it wasn't for that
mistake, you wouldn't be rocking, you know, this area now
(25:15):
or even if it's something that you're struggling with.
That's why I always stress, I think it's important to
celebrate the now. Let's celebrate where you are
today. Now you may have this huge goal
ahead of you and you may not be there yet, but if you look at
where you're at today, I'm, I'm quite sure you've made some
progress from those days or months or years.
(25:38):
And so it's always important to look at where you are today.
So I'm going to ask you, why do you think it's important to have
community that celebrates you as, you know, like we sometimes
we need that hype man or that hype chick, you know, to say,
hey, girl, you got it going on today.
Or just I see you, you know, like I see you just some just
(25:58):
for someone that acknowledge that they see you, you know,
they see that you're trying, they see that you're trying to
really become, you know, that thing that you're working on it
it just, you know, they just acknowledge your energy.
So how is it also important to just have that community that
celebrates you? Yes, it is so important.
(26:20):
In fact, as I mentioned, I, I work for the Institute for
Integrative Nutrition and we have a course that's all about,
you know, your nutritional education.
And one of the themes is what wecall primary foods, meaning it
is what is not on your plate, but what's off your plate that
nourishes you most. And so that's the people.
And so I think, you know, you kind of lobbied that up earlier
(26:43):
of like, OK, what are the tips? What are the things that we can
do and that surrounding yourselfwith the right people And let me
just remind you all friends, we don't need a lot of people.
We just need the right somebody,right.
So I would say you don't need everybody.
You just need the right somebody.
So don't feel if you know someone's listening going.
I don't have that many friends or perfect.
You know, it's not about the thequantity, it's about the quality
(27:06):
of the people around you who champion for you.
And so why is it so essential? Well, we know that people are
70, you know, 10 times more likely to uphold a habit or a
behavior change when they're supported by community, right?
But more importantly, that community gives us back
everything we talked about earlier, whether it's the you
(27:26):
look good today or good for you on that mistake and not just
good for you on that mistake. Here's how I can help you or be
of support to you, right? So now they're adding value to
that live and thrive journey, right?
We don't often say I need a helphelping hand, reach out, you
know, a hand and help me. We can allow that through our
community to let them do that onour behalf, right?
(27:47):
And so I think it's so, so important.
But I think there's a few thingsis that you have to really give
people the runway. You have to be comfortable
opening up just a bit more. You know, some of us, again,
based on how we grew up, relationships may have guarded
ourselves. So you don't have to let it all
(28:08):
hang out all of a sudden if that's not your comfort zone.
But little moments in time, as we talked about from should I,
you know, even said in the French, should I wear this or
this today? I want to feel my best.
What you know, Oh girl, I think that orange would look great on
you, right? Let them be a champion for you.
So start to think about right. How do you currently leverage
that community in that that circle around you?
(28:28):
Is it that they're just the people you hang out with for a
little good time? Are the people you go to when
you want a good shoulder to cry on, or are you really thinking
about how can they contribute toyour daily dose of celebration?
And as we talked about, right, the more we celebrate ourselves
through how we show up in the world, how we tell our stories,
(28:49):
we give people permission to celebrate and champion for us as
well. So it's really important that
you're doing an audit of who that is around you.
Sometimes it's OK to sunset somepeople, you know, And and when I
say sunset right when the sunsets, it rises again.
So it doesn't mean that we are maybe doing away with them
forever. But it might just be that this
(29:11):
isn't the right chapter or the right season or even the right
week. Or as we all say, today is not
the day. We might just need a sunset of
friend for the day, right? And, and, and it allows someone
else to champion for us. So you can embrace that as part
of the journey and be comfortable with that.
And then really look at who you've got around you and how
(29:33):
you're creating an access of vulnerability so that they can
help you celebrate and be betterchampions for you.
Who you have in your purview on your side view and who's got
your back where you can't see behind you is so essential.
And again, it can nourish us 10 times more than any kind of
(29:54):
blueberries and lettuce and spinach we would ever put on our
actual plate. And I love what you mentioned.
Sometimes we have the sunset people and sometimes we have to
not only just sunset people, maybe certain habits, you know,
it just maybe we need to just put it to the side for now.
And as you mentioned, and I knowlike we are big on, I know it's
(30:15):
like a popular, popular thing right now.
It's like cutting people off. Maybe I just like, oh, let me
block this. Yeah.
Sometimes it's just a season though.
Like maybe, as you said, this may be just a stage in your life
right now where it's like, OK, you know, I love so and so, but
I know they're kind of like maybe my worst case scenario
friend and maybe I really don't.I don't need to have that
conversation right now. I maybe need to go talk to, you
(30:38):
know, that cousin that always has some that that's bubbly I
got. I need that dose right now, you
know, and that's completely fine, you know, or just certain
habits. It's like, OK, I know this
particular habit won't serve theseason that I'm in right now.
It's not going to bring me to, you know, the energy that I need
to be in. So I love that.
But sometimes we really have to just categorize certain people.
(31:00):
I just categorize certain habitslike, OK, this is the chapter
that I need to be on right now. And this is the chapter maybe I
need to close. But I can always go back to it,
you know, when it's ready. And that's that's also part of
having that confidence and just saying, hey, this is what I need
right now and this is what I don't need.
Yeah, I do love that you mentioned that.
(31:20):
Something else that we talked about earlier before we started
recording, which is needing permission.
Sometimes we feel like we need permission, you know, to
celebrate ourselves or to acknowledge ourselves because as
we talked about before we started recording, sometimes
women are mothers. They just have so many different
things going on. And especially if you're a
mother, you're told that you're supposed to put yourself last.
(31:42):
And I know personally, as a mother, I didn't learn this
until my children were much older, that I really cannot put
myself last. Like this isn't logical and it's
not healthy. And there are sometimes where, I
don't know if how many, I think you get to that stage.
Sometimes in motherhood, everyone gets in at different
(32:02):
stages, but you finally start torealize there's certain times
where you absolutely cannot put yourself last.
It benefits no one. So back to what we were
mentioning about permission. What do you think?
Maybe some things that stand forsome people just feeling like,
you know, it's just. Hard.
To just give themselves that green light, to just acknowledge
(32:22):
themselves or celebrate themselves.
Yeah, you know, it can be a trueblocker.
And so here's what I tell people.
You know, you know, when you geton the plane and they say in the
case of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask first before
helping others because guess what?
How you going to help me? You can't breathe.
And so I think if we kind of usethat as a pulse check in life,
(32:45):
right, whether I am a mother, I'm a leader, you know, I mean,
honestly, I say sometimes I havefriends they got they take care
of all these plants. I'm like you water in these
plants who's, you know, you're not taking time to water.
You nourish you. Whatever your life comes, you
know, is how it's constructed. It's so important that you are
putting on that oxygen mask first.
(33:07):
It will give you clarity, it will give you creativity, it
will give you nourishment, It will give you energy that then
you can translate to those you love most.
And so if maybe the path to get there is this, that you are the
person who loves to serve others, that fills your cup.
Sometimes that fills our cup, but it's really rooted in guilt.
(33:29):
You know, it's again, let's celebrate what we come to know,
OK, You know, I'm feeling guiltyand actually I'm going to give
myself a little moment to celebrate that because I was
vulnerable enough to acknowledgeit.
Here's what we then therefore dowith it is say, OK, I'm going to
take this 10 minutes to do my skin care routine or I'm going
to take the 5 minutes to drink my tea a little slower in the
(33:51):
morning before the kids get up. Or you know what, I'm going to
get cute today and then I'll go get the kids cute, you know,
because I am then in service of them.
So sometimes if it's not enough to say, OK, this is for me, then
maybe the little life hacker, the mental hack you have to do
is saying the result is that I will be better for others.
(34:12):
And so for those of us who lead with the servant heart,
sometimes that's actually what we have to do.
You know, I think if like I'm like, OK, if I get up in the
morning, I do my stretches instead of skipping it, then
I'll be able to go on a longer walk with my dog.
And so that will really give herthe energy and the exercise that
she needs. So maybe it's not about me.
It is about being of service to those that we love.
(34:37):
So think about that. Think about how you can start
just in small moments putting onyour oxygen mask before helping
others and then encouraging them.
This is a big part to do the same, right?
And So what is what I mean by that?
OK, I need you to put on your oxygen mask and then help me out
a little bit. So how do we trade off with
(34:58):
that? You know, again, if your kids
are older or able, you know, OK,Mommy's gonna chop the
vegetables and then you're gonnawash the vegetables, right?
And so how do we work together? Or I'm gonna make my plate and
then you're gonna tell me what you want on your plate, right.
Small exercises of where? Typically we say, well, the kids
got to eat 1st and I gotta write.
(35:19):
We almost make little activitiesto say, OK, I'll do a little,
you do a little. And now we start to exercise a
semblance of exchange that even kids or anyone will get excited
about. Oh, what you gonna put on your
plate? You know, what are you putting
on your plate? And so now we've stepped out of
this space of I have to give unto others and sacrifice
(35:40):
myself. And instead I'm in partnership
with others to do well for myself and for them.
It's collectively. I love that.
And mothers, as we know, it's a hard job and it's not always
mother and the kids. Sometimes we're we're puppy
moms, you know, as you mentioned.
And one thing I do like that youmentioned, I love that you
(36:00):
acknowledge some people, that's their mission is to help others.
So to celebrate others or just to give.
And I'm happy that you did acknowledge that too, because we
definitely do need to talk aboutthose people because they love
serving others and they're the most special people in the world
where that's what they do, They serve others.
(36:21):
So it's so easy if you serve others to honestly forget, you
know, that celebrate yourself are just to put time for
yourself, you know, and those are the most special people that
really have to take some time toacknowledge themselves because
they, they love to give. And that's a beautiful thing.
So I'm so happy that she mentioned that as well.
Speaking of. So I want to ask you 2 separate
(36:43):
questions. So the first one is what are
just some different simple things a person could do on a
daily basis to celebrate themselves?
And the second question is what about people who may say, Hey, I
really don't have have time to even do anything for myself at
all. So I just want to kind of
combine those two on just what are some simple things we can do
(37:03):
to celebrate ourselves? Yeah, but just tomorrow maybe.
And what about the people that say I don't have time to do
anything? You know, let's do anything
from. So a few things I love this
question. I think first, you know,
leverage, you know, wonderful thing about this era of
technology, leverage technology to be your friend.
You know, we all got have these devices.
(37:25):
You know, one thing that I personally do is I set alarms
throughout the day, right? So I have my morning alarm, my
midday and my evening. And so one, it goes off
sometimes embarrassingly in a meeting or whatever, but it the
alarm, you know, and you can give the alarm a name.
And so I do the, you're, I set the alarm, you're doing great
alarm. So when it goes off, right,
(37:47):
whether it's like a little AppleWatch buzzing or my phone
suddenly goes off or, you know, we have all these devices and
that alarm goes off. It just is that one moment that
says you're doing great. And no matter what situation I'm
in, like I said in the middle ofthe meeting, Oh my gosh, my
phone's going off. It just makes me pause and
smile. And it's that mental reminder,
(38:07):
you know what? I'm doing great.
OK, back to the meeting. Or, you know, you're rushing to
pick your kids up from school, alarm goes off.
You're doing great. Thank you self, because what
you're reminding is you set thatalarm, right?
You made that, you know, you wrote that message.
I'm proud of you. Great job.
You made it through a day, right?
You can call it whatever you want.
(38:28):
And it leveraged that technologyto help you pause, right?
We said kind of permission to pause.
We're busy. And so it's a great way to have
a disruptor. I call the cycle disruptor.
Our brain is moving, moving, movement alarm goes off.
Oh, what's that alarm? I'm so proud of you and you look
great today. Thank you self right.
So set that up for yourself there.
(38:50):
I think another great thing thatI'm kind of is a easy practice
that you can do is, you know, I love to use, again, leveraging
technology, but you can use likevoice record.
So you know, when you're having your really good days, you know,
we all have those, right? Whether it's, you know, dealing
with hormones or whatever throughout the month, we have
good days. Bad is on the really good days.
(39:12):
Record as many voice memos as you can.
You know, today I want to remember my hair look good.
Or you know, today those talk about those celebrations.
Today I'm really proud that my child got an A on their test and
I really helped them study. Record as many as you can on
your tough days. You go back and listen to one of
(39:32):
those, maybe 2, maybe 3. And again, there's something so
powerful about not someone else complimenting you or celebrating
you, you complimenting you and celebrating you.
Your brain processes that actually differently and it
really refills your cup. So on those tough days, you
can't find it in you. You'll literally find it in you
(39:54):
by hearing your voice and playing that back.
And then I think you said that second part of.
The question right was around remind me one more time of what
we were on that second piece forsome?
People that may say, hey, I don't have time to do oh, I
don't have favorite salary myself.
Yes, so the examples that I gaveare short, quick, they they
(40:14):
don't actually take too much time of your day.
I also do feel like time is so relative.
Here's why I'll say that. I have friends who say, you
know, especially I spent so manyyears in beauty, right, girl, I
could never spend 20 minutes doing my makeup in the morning
or doing my skin care. But they, the main friend in
line at Starbucks, drive throughfor 20 minutes waiting on that
(40:35):
caramel macchiato, right? So time is, you know, time is so
relative. So I think first we have to set
intention that we deserve it. And there are small things like
facial massage, 5 minutes. You could actually do it while
the kids are brushing their teeth, you know, just tapping
around your eyes. You try this.
(40:55):
It is it not only helps with moving fluid around, it calms
your nervous system. It gives a natural flush to the
face. It moves inflammation around and
you can do it in 5 minutes. You could do it in two or three
minutes, right? Even tapping here on the
collarbone. OK, you could do this while
(41:15):
you're talking to your mom or, you know, while you're waiting
for a load of clothes to, you know, dry in the dryer just a
few minutes. But this gets your energy going,
it gets your blood flowing, it moves out that toxins in the
body and so small things like this.
Giving ourselves self massage, self stimulation doesn't take
(41:36):
long, but it completely transformed how we feel.
Even doing something as simple as pinching your fingertips, it
just suddenly takes away stress and pressure.
Doesn't take too much time and you'll feel right away, you'll
feel that that stress released from your body.
So you don't, I would say you don't need a lot of time even to
(41:58):
do your skin care routine. I would tell people, especially
Black women, we need to nurture ourselves, nourish ourselves.
Doesn't have to take a lot. You wash your face, you put on a
little moisturizer, but don't just, you know, flap it on.
Just take one minute. Just press it into your skin.
Think about how you would touch your babies.
(42:18):
You know that gentle nourishmentwe would give them, give itself
one minute, and I'm telling you,that's 2 to 5 minutes.
We all deserve 2 to 5 minutes. All deserve 2 to 5 minutes.
A little tapping, a little pressing, a little cleansing, a
little pressing of our moisturizer.
(42:39):
Just a minute to look yourself in the mirror for a minute or
two longer than you would. We deserve it.
Yes, we deserve it. So a few simple things, you
know, and if you feel like you really have greater rituals,
longer rituals that you would want to do that are about you.
What I then encourage people to do is like really look at your
(43:02):
calendar, right, like your, your, your week or your month
and say, OK, right, I can't do it all.
I remember years ago, Oprah on her show stuck with me ever
since when she said to someone, women can't have it.
Women can't have it all, just not all at once.
And so look at your calendar andgive yourself some things to
look forward to. OK, maybe you can't do that spa
(43:25):
day or go to the gym every day, but what day can you do?
You can do one day. So OK, I can do the one day I'm
going to do that Sunday. Oh, I can't wait for my Sunday
gym day. And remember, we talked about
we're not going to beat ourselves up.
I didn't go to the gym 6. No.
Oh, I went. I can't wait to go to the gym on
Sunday. Sunday.
So take that pressure off that. Like your habits have to be
(43:48):
daily. They can be weekly, they can be
monthly. That is just worthy as
celebration as anything else. I take my one day a month to go
for a walk by myself, read a book, get me a little iced
coffee and just spend time for me.
That's my one day a month. And that is just as triumphant
as if you were fitting that in every single day.
(44:12):
I love that and I love how you mentioned I deserve, you know,
that's it. That's the only phrase you need
to really focus on is I deserve.You deserve to celebrate
yourself. You're worthy of the applause,
invaluable. And I think it's just a mindset
sometimes that as much as, you know, we want to say we love
(44:34):
ourselves, sometimes we just really have a hard time just
really practicing something as simple as acknowledging, hey, I
deserve this, these 5 minutes, as you mentioned, I deserve to
just take some time for myself just to celebrate myself or just
to remind myself, hey, you're doing a good job.
You know, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging yourself and
(44:56):
it goes back to just having a mindset to remember, just to
reset your mindset and to remember, hey, I deserve this.
You know, all right, if you're anurturer, you give so much to
everyone else. And as you mentioned, address
your face like you would with your baby.
You know that that unconditionallove, if we love ourselves
unconditionally, we be so powerful.
(45:17):
So I just love that so much. So before we end everything,
this is a great conversation. I would like to ask you if you
could leave the audience. Of course, our platform is self
love, but you can give us an affirmation, a self love
affirmation. Just remind us to celebrate
ourselves. Yes, you know, I think I have
(45:38):
always been a big believer in what comes after the words.
I am Will not only come looking for you, but we'll stick with
you. And so typically when I talk to,
you know, groups or young women,especially my young high school
girls who are just coming into their own, they say my what can
I can I do to pump myself up? And I say pick three.
(46:00):
I am three. I am because we spent a lot of
time. I am not smart enough.
I am not young enough. We do a lot of I am not talented
enough. I am not right.
We do a lot of that, but we don't do a lot of I am
courageous, I am loving, I am funny, I am thoughtful.
(46:22):
I am building an empire, I am changing the world.
I am navigating life despite very difficult circumstances.
I am going to get a new job. I am always resourceful.
If we just take three prong, youknow, take I AM and give us
three IMS and hold to that. And you know, repetition breeds
(46:47):
confidence. So, you know, hold on to those.
I am at least for a standard week, right?
And we use some great ones today.
I am deserving of love. I am a woman, and that's not
always easy, but I am triumphant.
I am exploring, I am learning. We talked about it earlier.
(47:10):
I am making mistakes and thriving through it.
I am a leader. I am wonderful, I am determined,
I am tenacious, I am adventurous.
You could fill in those. I am.
Pick your three and I'll say do that voice memo, record it so
(47:30):
you can hear it back for yourself.
But every morning, hopefully now, you're going to be tapping
and massaging and pushing just the 2 minutes.
And while you do that, I am deserving.
I am love, I am beautiful. I am embracing myself in this
body. I am strong despite all that
I've gone through. I am beginning again when I
(47:54):
didn't think that was possible. I am looking great today.
I am smelling delicious. Whatever it is, pick those three
and spend those two to three minutes in the morning that
we're now going to give ourselves using that mantra.
And I will tell you it is absolutely transformative.
(48:14):
But here's the bigger thing. We're going to do that for
ourselves. But then the challenge I have
for everyone is when you go out in the world, share that talent
with someone else, especially when you hear that little inner
saboteur come in and you hear your Co worker or your sister.
I am not figuring this out. What are you doing today?
(48:37):
Well, I, I am leading A-Team. That's right my friend.
And so our IMS will then subsequently empower other IMS.
And if we can help more and morewomen lean into who we are, less
of what we're not, we can absolutely transform the world
and light it up. Yes, I love it.
(48:59):
We, we're capable of everything that we want to do, You know
that we can tackle those things,we can do great things.
We are capable. We are unstoppable.
So yeah, I love those affirmations.
And again, I think it's just a mindset.
And I know celebrating yourself as small or as big as it may
seem as someone, it's a mindset just to just remember you're
(49:23):
worthy, you're valuable, but also just to acknowledge your
attributes. I'm smart, I'm intelligent.
If some things aren't working out, focus on some of the things
that you've done. Think of where you are today.
Always think of where you are today.
Maybe earlier this morning wasn't going great, but what
have you done today? Everything couldn't have gone
(49:43):
bad. You got up this morning, you
tackle big things. You have this career that be
proud of. You have a family, you're here.
So there's so many things to celebrate.
So I just love some of the reminders that you mentioned.
And I do hope that people that TuneIn can take away some great
gym. So thank you again for this
(50:04):
beautiful conversation. Before we end everything, tell
people how they can follow you and how they can learn more
about you. Yes, absolutely.
And, and thank you for creating this space in place for all of
us. I mean, what a gift you are to
us and I mean, goodness, five years later and we are still
having such beautiful, inspiringconversations.
(50:24):
So thank you and yeah, absolutely.
Join in the fun on my Instagram at the Sequin Unicorn.
Also, you can find me on LinkedIn if you're more in that
professional arena. I tend to do content and
engagement there that really is for the professional woman.
So feel free to join there. You can find me at Myesha
Proctor on LinkedIn. And also as I mentioned, I am
(50:49):
leading at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
So we may have some goodies for you all to check that out.
But you can see I'm often there on IG live doing really great
talks. I'm sharing through similar
here, education to empower us. As I mentioned on and off the
plate, and especially for women of color, we lack access to the
(51:09):
knowledge to empower us to eat well, be well.
And so this platform is such a beautiful one for the mind.
And our goal is to enrich the lives of people with the body.
So come learn about your hormones, your gut, all the
stuff that you know, grandma didn't tell you.
We are here to educate you. So join in the fun there too.
We have all kind of fun events and I'd love to see you.
(51:32):
Awesome, thank you again, and I'll make sure they have all
your information so people can follow you and get that daily
dose of sugar because we all need it.
And thank you again for being myguest for my first episode of
2025. Yes, five years.
So this has just been a beautiful, beautiful thing.
And I hope everyone that tuned in to this episode that you guys
(51:54):
can just remember that you're valuable, you're worthy.
Why don't you take a look in themirror and realize that Oh my
God, you're a big deal celebrating yourself.
There's no question it's inevitable, like you should be
celebrating yourself. You are a big so just declare
that today that you're a big deal and this is the last day
(52:16):
that you're going to minimize yourself and not realize what a
big deal you are. So if you need that reminder,
make sure you tune into this episode.
Watch it on repeat. You are a big deal and you're
worthy and you're valuable. So thank you guys again for
tuning into this episode of the Q chat.
You can kept just episode and much more www.goclean.com.
(52:38):
Make sure you guys be safe. Go love yourself, but remember
to go be unstoppable. Thank you guys for tuning in.
Grab your print or digital copy of Go Queen Magazine today.
Stay inspired by the incredible stories and features inside.
Visit our website to grab your copy.
Now you know what I want you to start doing today?
I want you to start staying awayfrom people who do not celebrate
(00:20):
you. I want you to be around people
who really, truly think that youare a big deal.
And I'm not kidding. You deserve to be celebrated.
You're beautiful, you're smart, you're courageous.
You've gone through so many different things that people
have no idea you've been through.
(00:40):
And you survived it. You came out like a soldier,
like a champ. So I don't want you to go ahead
and reduce yourself anymore. Don't be around anybody that
does not see your greatness and who don't celebrate you and who
do not applaud you. And you know who else that
includes you. You need to make sure that
(01:01):
you're celebrating yourself. You need to make sure that you
acknowledge that you are something else, that you are
something amazing and you deserve applause.
So start applauding yourself today.
Start celebrating yourself. Give yourself those flowers and
don't accept anything less. But I'm telling you today, right
(01:22):
now, declare that you're not going to be in any more spaces
that do not see the value that you hold.
So they're not celebrating you. They're not giving you that
applause. You need to walk away.
And I'm telling you, you better not be one of those people.
You better applaud yourself. Celebrate yourself.
(01:43):
You are a big deal for go ahead and walk in your power and act
like it and remember it today. Welcome back to the Q Chat, the
podcast where Queens come to speak boldly, love loudly, and
reign unapologetically. I'm your host, Rhonda Armstrong.
(02:05):
Today's episode is all about celebrating yourself daily and
intentionally because the truth is, you're a big deal.
You're valuable and you don't need a milestone or a moment to
honor the greatness within you. I'm joined by the radiant Myesha
Proctor and together we're having a real conversation on
(02:26):
what it looks like to stop shrinking and start celebrating
your work every single day. So let's get into it, Queen.
She's a queen about a business, working hard on a mission and
hot purpose driven crown on never tilted go queen.
(02:56):
She's a queen about a business, working hard on a mission, Had
high purpose driven crown on navratility.
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
So thank you guys for joining another episode of the Q Chat.
(03:19):
We are back for 2025 and I'm so excited to bring you guys a new
set of fresh shows and beautifultopics.
Of course, we're gearing towardsspotlighting our favorite topic,
which is self love. So today my special guest is
Miss Myesha Proctor and she is the sequent Unicorn and I'm
going to let her introduce herself.
(03:40):
But I just want to tell you guys, we're going to talk about
celebrating yourselves. We just rang in a New Year's, we
got to learn to celebrate ourselves and just make sure we
show that love to ourselves. We are the most important ones
right now. To self love is not a bad thing.
So let's get going with this. My Isha, how you doing today?
Hello, hello. I am thrilled and honestly
(04:03):
honored to be able to share thismoment in time in this space and
place with you and all of those who are checking this out,
tuning in, and hopefully findinginspiration in our conversation.
Awesome. And you're a special guest
because you were one of my guests before I even hit the
cameras. That's.
Right. That's right.
(04:24):
You were definitely one of my original guests when the show
first started, when we started bringing guests on.
So I'm so happy and just blessedto have you back five years
later. Thank God that's.
Crazy. It's so crazy.
It's been that long and, you know, it's almost like so much
has changed, right? And yet in a good way, so many
things remain the same. And but I am so proud of this
(04:46):
journey that you've been on. You know, I never stopped
following, engaging, listening, and it's wonderful to be able to
celebrate, you know, five years.So that's great.
Thank you so much. So as I mentioned, I know we
wanted to just talk about just celebrating ourselves, but one
thing about you that I love, I always say that you bring the
sparkle because of course you came on social media is the
(05:08):
sequin Unicorn. But before we get to the
celebration, I do what would like you to give people a
background because as I said, I,I, if I tell someone to go to
your IG, I thought that is goingto get a boost of energy like a
booth. So I would love you to start
first, but just giving everyone your background for people who
may not be familiar. So I really feel like you have a
(05:30):
very bubbly content which is much needed.
Can you just give us a background 1st and just the
energy that you bring and just the background with the Sequin
Unicorn just so you can get a background with yourself first
before we get started. Absolutely.
Well, I currently live in Brooklyn, NY.
I've got Biggie over the shoulder here, but I grew up in
(05:51):
Chicago, so I'm a shy town girl and, you know, spent a lot of
time there kind of really cominginto my own.
You know, I grew up in a community where I didn't see a
lot of people who looked like me.
And I will say that was a big part of trying to curate my own
joy and figure out how to, you know, define my own sense of
(06:13):
style and being in purpose. Even at a young age, you know, I
knew that I physically just in being stood out, but I wanted to
find new ways to kind of bring that to the forefront through
how I dressed, you know, the types of things I participated
in that you grow up with a lot of biases and influences around
everything from oh, black peopledon't swim.
I heard that all the time I was a swimmer or, you know, we're
(06:35):
not into music and we're brilliant in music.
And so really redefining myself,redefining stereotypes and
really coming into my own. And so that took me actually my
collegiate years I spent in New Orleans at Xavier University and
I studied music there. And I really say that that I
really lit my heart up. That city is magical.
(06:57):
It's inspiring. It in itself glitz and glams
and, and there is nothing, I think, no place on earth like
it. And I'm so grateful that that
was the big part of my chapter because taking that early stage
work and then going there for all those years really helped
mold me into being fully triumphant and confident in who
(07:22):
I am, in redefining my style andknowing that I love colors and
sparkle. And that's OK.
You know, every day it could be Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
And so, you know, I kind of brought that into my spirit and
my being, and I never left it behind.
After college, I spent time building my career, which
started off in cosmetics. So my career started at Sephora.
(07:44):
I spent some years at L'Oreal aswell as doing celebrity makeup
on tour with several talents andwell known artists and then got
into corporate beauty. And I will tell you those themes
of shine bright, be yourself, living your light remain true.
But I did encounter a lot of people, obviously through makeup
artistry, skin care and beauty who really didn't feel like
(08:08):
their best selves. They were having challenges with
confidence and they needed positive reassurance that they
weren't really getting in magazines.
When you weren't seeing people who look like you or in your
community. I can relate to that, that don't
look like you or represent you. And so I really strive to create
a platform as social media emerge, to be a destination, one
(08:29):
for myself, to be reminded of all the great things that are me
and that kind of giving me permission to be myself.
But I also wanted it to be a destination for other people to
find inspiration, to be remindedof their greatness.
And I kind of call it now if yousee it in my bio, your daily
spoonful of sugar. Because if you need that pick me
up or that reminder or that midday refresh to encourage you
(08:52):
to put on that red lipstick or try that new pair of earrings or
just step out and be more triumphantly you, you can get
that through my platforms. So through both my leadership
style and my career now, I'm nowthe chief revenue officer for
the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and all the social
platforms that I support. It is going to be always
(09:14):
consistent. Not every day is going to be
great, but we can make every daygreat.
And it doesn't take a lot. Just micro moments.
Micro investments can leave us brighter, better and more
restored. So that's a little bit about me
and my journey and a little bit about how I came to have that
sequin Unicorn descriptor. I love it and to so many things,
(09:36):
points that you hit on, just having those reminders and we
need that daily dose of sugar because just having that
reassurance for yourself, that boost of confidence, I think
sometimes we take it for granted.
Not everyone has that confidencewithin.
And sometimes even we don't realize sometimes that we're not
getting that boost to ourselves because maybe we're too busy in
(10:00):
the hustle and bustle of life. If we're nurturers.
Sometimes when we're nurturers, we're so busy being that
shoulder for other people are boosting other people up that
sometimes we forget that we alsoneed that booster.
Like, Hey, you are a big deal. Even personally, I know we had
our interview scheduled actuallylast week.
And I'm like, you know what? I'm actually exhausted.
(10:22):
I, you know, I had to acknowledge that and I think
sometimes we have this. We as black women of course too,
we do wear visible Cape. We all know that and we feel
sometimes the pressure to be to keep moving, to keep moving and
hustling and bustling. And sometimes we don't even
rest. And in that situation as well,
(10:44):
we're also not giving ourselves just the confidence that we need
to because we can also be confident enough to say, hey, I
need a break or I'm valuable enough, I'm worthy enough that I
need to take care of myself. So there's so many different
layers and pockets to just having that confidence or
self-care and self love. So I wanted to get to this
(11:06):
beautiful post that you had on LinkedIn and I really loved,
which gave me the inspiration for this conversation.
I'm going to go ahead and read apoint of it.
So you have this beautiful post.And he said yesterday you did
something that once seemed impossible.
Here's your official permission to pause.
I'm proud of you. I hope you're proud of you too.
And in that post, you were encouraging women to celebrate
(11:29):
with themselves. It was such great inspiration.
And it's something that I feel that we need to remind ourselves
to give ourselves that round of applause to celebrate ourselves.
So I wanted to start off with what are just some ways.
I know you mentioned there's some we can do, some micro
pockets sometimes. Just what are some daily doses
of sugar ways that we can just celebrate ourselves to hype
(11:51):
ourselves up? Yes, you know, I think thank you
for bringing that that post in that language up because there
was a few important words in there for me that permission.
I think sometimes as you mentioned, we are the
superheroes, the superheroes to everyone around us in our lives.
And we don't often give ourselves permission to either
(12:12):
receive a shero or just take offthat Cape and rest, you know.
And so if if either through words or through listening,
listen to this conference or a post that you come across, you
almost are given that permission, then that is of
service to you. And I think we're doing great
things if we can grant that. But how do you grant yourself
(12:33):
almost permission on daily basis?
One, I think, you know, I'm looking at your beautiful jacket
here, the floral, you know, design.
It fits you so beautifully. I think sometimes we
underestimate just taking a little step to not just jump out
of bed and put something on, butsay what?
What am I going to feel good in today?
And you know, sometimes we startworrying about what will people
(12:55):
think, right? Again, that's putting others
before ourselves and what will people think instead of looking
at that closet or looking to saywhat, what will I think?
What will make me feel good today?
What's going to make me feel confident or sexy or powerful?
And then picking what we're putting on based on that.
There is something so influential about what the
(13:17):
colors that we wear and how we feel in our attire, even down to
the putting on those favorite earrings.
Maybe they're, you know, from your mother or your grandmother
or you bought them and they tellyou a story.
These moments are like, in a way, celebrating ourselves,
honoring ourselves. And so if we are just jumping
out of bed, grabbing whatever wecan or we're putting on, well,
(13:41):
what will others think is appropriate or what you know,
what will help me fit in? We are robbing ourselves of the
ability to celebrate ourselves. And so where it can all start is
how am I going to start today? How do I want to present in the
day based on me and my opinion? And that can become your first
(14:03):
celebration. I love that.
You know, it's so true. I think just that thing in the
back of your head, what would people think if I throw on this
outfit? What would people think if I
wear my hair this this way? What would you think if I wear
this bright, bold color that maybe no one else is wearing?
Even like 2 weeks ago I was in the grocery store and that's so
(14:24):
funny because that particularly I was like really tired.
So I'm walking down the aisle, you know, sometimes like you're
about to kind of crash into someone.
The person. We would just both, if I went
this way, she went that way. Then if I went that way, she
went that way. So then once we finally got our
groove, when she got past me, I took another glance at her and
this is sister. She had these nice earrings on
her natural hair. She had these locks, her outfit,
(14:45):
everything. And I was like, you look great.
She right that I was like, I just I just have to tell us like
you look great. So she just I just love
everything. Like her locks were banging her
earrings for a night shift and I'm a sucker for women earrings.
Had this nice winning earrings on this nice sweater and I was
like, wow, I was like, you look really great.
I was like, I love your hair, your earrings, everything, your
(15:06):
outfit. And it made me like, it just
gave me like a boost of energy just to see how she looked in
the grocery store, you know? So we need that boost.
And even when we like, we put that, I like Little Richard
would say, put that thing on. You know, we put that thing on.
Yeah. Like it types up other people
too. So I think sometimes we also
(15:28):
underestimate just the power that our energy has.
You know, like that boost can also boost someone else.
So I just also think it's important just when we really
think about it, just how we put ourselves on, you know, even
boost people and it's like I walking billboard and I think
that's a good thing. I love that walking billboard.
Absolutely. You know, back to really
(15:50):
thinking about, you know, some people say celebration, you
know, that's feels so big, but it can be these small moments.
And I absolutely believe that not only is it a walking
billboard, it's, you know, it's your reflection.
So when you walk past that mirror, do you get excited, just
as excited as you got? I'm sure she was like, oh, look
at my locks, look at these earrings.
And that's that becomes my our internal celebration.
(16:12):
And then I love what you said. Then it exudes out to the world.
And let's say that day wasn't your best day or, you know, you
had had a day where, you know, you just kind of rolled up, got
ready to go. Now you see her, her celebrating
herself invites you to celebrateyourself.
Oh, tomorrow it's cute. Today I'm getting cute to mock
up, right? Like like, where am I wooden
(16:34):
earrings, right? And so it is like kind of that
ripple effect of if I celebrate myself by way of, you know,
putting myself together, wear myhair how I want, put on my
earrings, take a little extra time to put on my eyelashes or
put on this outfit. You know, I was talking to
someone the other day who was like, I love, why don't she was
(16:56):
like, I love to wear a tie. I just love the look.
And she's like, but I'm always concerned just what will people
say or how they'll judge me or. And I said, think of how much
you've taken away from this delightful moment, right?
This celebration of your style, your sense of empowerment and
giving that power to others who quite frankly, are either going
(17:16):
to be super inspired by it. Look at her rocking that tie or
not honestly being real, not noticing at all.
And that's not a bad thing either.
You know, people are all we think people are looking and
they looking at themselves, right?
So you know, and so she was like, you are so right.
So she put on her fabulous suit hat on her tie, you know, her,
(17:36):
her whole style, her red lipstick and she sent me a bunch
of pictures and she was like, I just am having the time of my
life. I feel so great.
And I said good for you. Good for you for putting aside
self doubt, limiting beliefs, anything that will hold you back
and celebrating yourself throughyour style and through your
expression. So that's where it can start
(17:57):
small thing. It can start right there with
just putting yourself as the priority and worry less about
what people will think. You Rock You and I love you said
put that thing on and. What you touched on really is
that imposter syndrome because it just sits on the side of my
shoulder, whether we have and wecan be a confident person, but
(18:17):
we everyone has their own internal struggles here.
They just have those moments where it's like you just don't
feel like you're it. And that really will stop you
from just having that confidencethat you need.
And again, it really is a rippleeffect.
And even when I complimented that sister, like it made me
feel good because I was like, yes, she did it because I, I was
(18:40):
happy that I was able to tell her as she was walking by
because I just didn't want that moment to pass.
I was like, wow, she was really right.
And it really, it did hype me upbecause that was a day that I
was just in the grocery store looking whatever kind of way.
It's always that one day where it's like, I'm just going to run
in the store. But it was just like, wow, you
(19:00):
know, I'm like, I want to make more effort that even when I'm
walking in the grocery store because it does make you feel
good, you know, and it is a ripple effect.
And again, I just feel like it'sthat imposter syndrome that
makes you think, well, if I wearthis tie, what is someone going
to think about me? And like you said, sometimes we
overthink things so much, but they're really not thinking that
(19:22):
hard about why is she wearing that?
You know, if anyone's looking orthinking, it's generally
probably because they admire exactly, you know, are they
admire how bold you are to even do that.
And as far as the winds, like, for example, like we go Queen,
we just started these pink rain empowerment calls.
So we've been doing these empowerment calls like every
(19:44):
other Saturday. And in the calls towards the
end, I mentioned to the women, hey, let's everybody go around
and celebrate a win. So this just, you know, what's
the win that you like to announce?
And I always tell them this doesn't mean like you won an
Academy Award last month, that win.
Maybe I walked this week. I've been struggling with
(20:07):
exercise, you know, just a win. And it's been really important
to me and it's one of the most favorite parts of the call
because. Celebrate your win because
something that you may think it's minor is something big and
it makes you feel good, you know, and it's just good to
celebrate others. What are some ways that I guess
(20:27):
some exercises maybe, and by exercises, I mean maybe some
actions that a person could takethat let's say that they're
really are struggling with theirconfidence.
And sometimes the way we're raised, we don't necessarily
know how to complement or celebrate ourselves without
maybe thinking, don't think you don't think too big of yourself.
So what are some ways that maybea person who is struggling with
(20:50):
that can be, can learn that, hey, it's OK to think that
you're a big deal. And So what are some ways a
person can maybe overcome that? Absolutely.
So, you know, I'm going to I'm going to share something that
might kind of flip things on on its head here.
But I think one of the greatest things you can do is not only do
those micro celebrations, but champion for your mistakes.
(21:14):
You know, we are only evolving and learning and getting better
and bigger and brighter when we're messing up.
And I think it goes back to whatyou said about how we were
raised. You know, sometimes you're in
that environment where you didn't get the good grades.
What's wrong with you? Or, you know, you didn't act
right. You know, what's wrong with you
(21:34):
Or, you know, you messed up the recipe, you know, like, you
know. And so we may have come to fear
the mistake, the mess up, the lesson.
We put this pressure on ourselves that we have to get it
perfect every time. And then we rob ourselves of the
beauty of the lesson. You know, if you think about
children, there's a beautiful innocence there where they're
(21:57):
exploring, they fall, they get back up, they fall, they get
back up. You know, they, they try to put
a toy together or play with a toy doesn't work.
They try it another way. Why?
Because when we're when their children were going good, right?
Hey, right. And then something happens when
we get older where it's like suddenly you're supposed to have
it all figured out. So my beautiful Queens, my
(22:17):
beautiful ladies, celebrate as triumphantly as you do, have
these wonderful moments. I want you to do that too.
I did this. I did so this, my Cowen, you
know what? I did get the recipe wrong in
the Mac and cheese to say, you know, but I know I'm going to
get it right the next time. That's right, girl.
Can't wait to taste it. Or you know what, I had to get a
report and I missed the deadline, but I realized how I'm
(22:40):
going to better strategize for the future.
Good job, girl. And I think there's something so
empowering about taking what we would normally use to weigh
ourselves down and suddenly giveit levity and light that goes.
You know what? I did go for that walk today
because I'm trying to get my exercise on.
(23:00):
But I also was planning to go for a 30 minute walk and only
did 15 minutes. Good for me, right?
And so good for me. And so tomorrow, though, I'm
going to now strive for that 30.And so I think, you know, if we
start to embrace that and then celebrate each other, reach out.
OK. How was your day today?
(23:22):
It was good. You know, I I got I got some
really good feedback from my boss.
OK, where'd you mess up? Right.
And start to help each other create permission for you to go.
Now I really messed up though, because, you know, I got some
numbers wrong in the report or, you know, I got something
confused at work. Good for you girl, for
acknowledging that you growing. I love that for you.
(23:44):
We now completely turn that on its head.
We look forward to the mistakes or the trip UPS or the lessons
and we now have two things to celebrate what I did great and
what I learned great. And that can be completely
transformative because now it's not a win lose.
It's a live and thrive. Wow, I love that a living
(24:08):
thrive. You know, it makes me think of
like, you know, the time of the year and it's up for your
performance for me at work and you're getting kind of nervous
like, Oh my God, you know, I'm not really looking forward to
this and ask me no, what a performance should be.
It gives you your good points and it gives you some things to
improve on. It's not necessarily anything to
beat you down, but it's just a transparent, hey, this is your
(24:30):
review of your performance. Here's where you are shining at
and here's where you can maybe work on some improvement.
And that's not a bad thing, justlike you mentioned to just our
mistakes, just to celebrate our mistakes.
And it's so true. We have so much pressure on
ourselves back to having that invisible Cape that we can't
make mistakes. But again, when we just focus on
(24:53):
trying to live in this perfect image, we do miss the blessing
and a lesson. And a lesson is meant to be
everything is to be counted, alljoy, even the things that we
think are. Oh, my God.
Like, I can't believe that I made that silly mistake.
Yeah. But if it wasn't for that
mistake, you wouldn't be rocking, you know, this area now
(25:15):
or even if it's something that you're struggling with.
That's why I always stress, I think it's important to
celebrate the now. Let's celebrate where you are
today. Now you may have this huge goal
ahead of you and you may not be there yet, but if you look at
where you're at today, I'm, I'm quite sure you've made some
progress from those days or months or years.
(25:38):
And so it's always important to look at where you are today.
So I'm going to ask you, why do you think it's important to have
community that celebrates you as, you know, like we sometimes
we need that hype man or that hype chick, you know, to say,
hey, girl, you got it going on today.
Or just I see you, you know, like I see you just some just
(25:58):
for someone that acknowledge that they see you, you know,
they see that you're trying, they see that you're trying to
really become, you know, that thing that you're working on it
it just, you know, they just acknowledge your energy.
So how is it also important to just have that community that
celebrates you? Yes, it is so important.
(26:20):
In fact, as I mentioned, I, I work for the Institute for
Integrative Nutrition and we have a course that's all about,
you know, your nutritional education.
And one of the themes is what wecall primary foods, meaning it
is what is not on your plate, but what's off your plate that
nourishes you most. And so that's the people.
And so I think, you know, you kind of lobbied that up earlier
(26:43):
of like, OK, what are the tips? What are the things that we can
do and that surrounding yourselfwith the right people And let me
just remind you all friends, we don't need a lot of people.
We just need the right somebody,right.
So I would say you don't need everybody.
You just need the right somebody.
So don't feel if you know someone's listening going.
I don't have that many friends or perfect.
You know, it's not about the thequantity, it's about the quality
(27:06):
of the people around you who champion for you.
And so why is it so essential? Well, we know that people are
70, you know, 10 times more likely to uphold a habit or a
behavior change when they're supported by community, right?
But more importantly, that community gives us back
everything we talked about earlier, whether it's the you
(27:26):
look good today or good for you on that mistake and not just
good for you on that mistake. Here's how I can help you or be
of support to you, right? So now they're adding value to
that live and thrive journey, right?
We don't often say I need a helphelping hand, reach out, you
know, a hand and help me. We can allow that through our
community to let them do that onour behalf, right?
(27:47):
And so I think it's so, so important.
But I think there's a few thingsis that you have to really give
people the runway. You have to be comfortable
opening up just a bit more. You know, some of us, again,
based on how we grew up, relationships may have guarded
ourselves. So you don't have to let it all
(28:08):
hang out all of a sudden if that's not your comfort zone.
But little moments in time, as we talked about from should I,
you know, even said in the French, should I wear this or
this today? I want to feel my best.
What you know, Oh girl, I think that orange would look great on
you, right? Let them be a champion for you.
So start to think about right. How do you currently leverage
that community in that that circle around you?
(28:28):
Is it that they're just the people you hang out with for a
little good time? Are the people you go to when
you want a good shoulder to cry on, or are you really thinking
about how can they contribute toyour daily dose of celebration?
And as we talked about, right, the more we celebrate ourselves
through how we show up in the world, how we tell our stories,
(28:49):
we give people permission to celebrate and champion for us as
well. So it's really important that
you're doing an audit of who that is around you.
Sometimes it's OK to sunset somepeople, you know, And and when I
say sunset right when the sunsets, it rises again.
So it doesn't mean that we are maybe doing away with them
forever. But it might just be that this
(29:11):
isn't the right chapter or the right season or even the right
week. Or as we all say, today is not
the day. We might just need a sunset of
friend for the day, right? And, and, and it allows someone
else to champion for us. So you can embrace that as part
of the journey and be comfortable with that.
And then really look at who you've got around you and how
(29:33):
you're creating an access of vulnerability so that they can
help you celebrate and be betterchampions for you.
Who you have in your purview on your side view and who's got
your back where you can't see behind you is so essential.
And again, it can nourish us 10 times more than any kind of
(29:54):
blueberries and lettuce and spinach we would ever put on our
actual plate. And I love what you mentioned.
Sometimes we have the sunset people and sometimes we have to
not only just sunset people, maybe certain habits, you know,
it just maybe we need to just put it to the side for now.
And as you mentioned, and I knowlike we are big on, I know it's
(30:15):
like a popular, popular thing right now.
It's like cutting people off. Maybe I just like, oh, let me
block this. Yeah.
Sometimes it's just a season though.
Like maybe, as you said, this may be just a stage in your life
right now where it's like, OK, you know, I love so and so, but
I know they're kind of like maybe my worst case scenario
friend and maybe I really don't.I don't need to have that
conversation right now. I maybe need to go talk to, you
(30:38):
know, that cousin that always has some that that's bubbly I
got. I need that dose right now, you
know, and that's completely fine, you know, or just certain
habits. It's like, OK, I know this
particular habit won't serve theseason that I'm in right now.
It's not going to bring me to, you know, the energy that I need
to be in. So I love that.
But sometimes we really have to just categorize certain people.
(31:00):
I just categorize certain habitslike, OK, this is the chapter
that I need to be on right now. And this is the chapter maybe I
need to close. But I can always go back to it,
you know, when it's ready. And that's that's also part of
having that confidence and just saying, hey, this is what I need
right now and this is what I don't need.
Yeah, I do love that you mentioned that.
(31:20):
Something else that we talked about earlier before we started
recording, which is needing permission.
Sometimes we feel like we need permission, you know, to
celebrate ourselves or to acknowledge ourselves because as
we talked about before we started recording, sometimes
women are mothers. They just have so many different
things going on. And especially if you're a
mother, you're told that you're supposed to put yourself last.
(31:42):
And I know personally, as a mother, I didn't learn this
until my children were much older, that I really cannot put
myself last. Like this isn't logical and it's
not healthy. And there are sometimes where, I
don't know if how many, I think you get to that stage.
Sometimes in motherhood, everyone gets in at different
(32:02):
stages, but you finally start torealize there's certain times
where you absolutely cannot put yourself last.
It benefits no one. So back to what we were
mentioning about permission. What do you think?
Maybe some things that stand forsome people just feeling like,
you know, it's just. Hard.
To just give themselves that green light, to just acknowledge
(32:22):
themselves or celebrate themselves.
Yeah, you know, it can be a trueblocker.
And so here's what I tell people.
You know, you know, when you geton the plane and they say in the
case of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask first before
helping others because guess what?
How you going to help me? You can't breathe.
And so I think if we kind of usethat as a pulse check in life,
(32:45):
right, whether I am a mother, I'm a leader, you know, I mean,
honestly, I say sometimes I havefriends they got they take care
of all these plants. I'm like you water in these
plants who's, you know, you're not taking time to water.
You nourish you. Whatever your life comes, you
know, is how it's constructed. It's so important that you are
putting on that oxygen mask first.
(33:07):
It will give you clarity, it will give you creativity, it
will give you nourishment, It will give you energy that then
you can translate to those you love most.
And so if maybe the path to get there is this, that you are the
person who loves to serve others, that fills your cup.
Sometimes that fills our cup, but it's really rooted in guilt.
(33:29):
You know, it's again, let's celebrate what we come to know,
OK, You know, I'm feeling guiltyand actually I'm going to give
myself a little moment to celebrate that because I was
vulnerable enough to acknowledgeit.
Here's what we then therefore dowith it is say, OK, I'm going to
take this 10 minutes to do my skin care routine or I'm going
to take the 5 minutes to drink my tea a little slower in the
(33:51):
morning before the kids get up. Or you know what, I'm going to
get cute today and then I'll go get the kids cute, you know,
because I am then in service of them.
So sometimes if it's not enough to say, OK, this is for me, then
maybe the little life hacker, the mental hack you have to do
is saying the result is that I will be better for others.
(34:12):
And so for those of us who lead with the servant heart,
sometimes that's actually what we have to do.
You know, I think if like I'm like, OK, if I get up in the
morning, I do my stretches instead of skipping it, then
I'll be able to go on a longer walk with my dog.
And so that will really give herthe energy and the exercise that
she needs. So maybe it's not about me.
It is about being of service to those that we love.
(34:37):
So think about that. Think about how you can start
just in small moments putting onyour oxygen mask before helping
others and then encouraging them.
This is a big part to do the same, right?
And So what is what I mean by that?
OK, I need you to put on your oxygen mask and then help me out
a little bit. So how do we trade off with
(34:58):
that? You know, again, if your kids
are older or able, you know, OK,Mommy's gonna chop the
vegetables and then you're gonnawash the vegetables, right?
And so how do we work together? Or I'm gonna make my plate and
then you're gonna tell me what you want on your plate, right.
Small exercises of where? Typically we say, well, the kids
got to eat 1st and I gotta write.
(35:19):
We almost make little activitiesto say, OK, I'll do a little,
you do a little. And now we start to exercise a
semblance of exchange that even kids or anyone will get excited
about. Oh, what you gonna put on your
plate? You know, what are you putting
on your plate? And so now we've stepped out of
this space of I have to give unto others and sacrifice
(35:40):
myself. And instead I'm in partnership
with others to do well for myself and for them.
It's collectively. I love that.
And mothers, as we know, it's a hard job and it's not always
mother and the kids. Sometimes we're we're puppy
moms, you know, as you mentioned.
And one thing I do like that youmentioned, I love that you
(36:00):
acknowledge some people, that's their mission is to help others.
So to celebrate others or just to give.
And I'm happy that you did acknowledge that too, because we
definitely do need to talk aboutthose people because they love
serving others and they're the most special people in the world
where that's what they do, They serve others.
(36:21):
So it's so easy if you serve others to honestly forget, you
know, that celebrate yourself are just to put time for
yourself, you know, and those are the most special people that
really have to take some time toacknowledge themselves because
they, they love to give. And that's a beautiful thing.
So I'm so happy that she mentioned that as well.
Speaking of. So I want to ask you 2 separate
(36:43):
questions. So the first one is what are
just some different simple things a person could do on a
daily basis to celebrate themselves?
And the second question is what about people who may say, Hey, I
really don't have have time to even do anything for myself at
all. So I just want to kind of
combine those two on just what are some simple things we can do
(37:03):
to celebrate ourselves? Yeah, but just tomorrow maybe.
And what about the people that say I don't have time to do
anything? You know, let's do anything
from. So a few things I love this
question. I think first, you know,
leverage, you know, wonderful thing about this era of
technology, leverage technology to be your friend.
You know, we all got have these devices.
(37:25):
You know, one thing that I personally do is I set alarms
throughout the day, right? So I have my morning alarm, my
midday and my evening. And so one, it goes off
sometimes embarrassingly in a meeting or whatever, but it the
alarm, you know, and you can give the alarm a name.
And so I do the, you're, I set the alarm, you're doing great
alarm. So when it goes off, right,
(37:47):
whether it's like a little AppleWatch buzzing or my phone
suddenly goes off or, you know, we have all these devices and
that alarm goes off. It just is that one moment that
says you're doing great. And no matter what situation I'm
in, like I said in the middle ofthe meeting, Oh my gosh, my
phone's going off. It just makes me pause and
smile. And it's that mental reminder,
(38:07):
you know what? I'm doing great.
OK, back to the meeting. Or, you know, you're rushing to
pick your kids up from school, alarm goes off.
You're doing great. Thank you self, because what
you're reminding is you set thatalarm, right?
You made that, you know, you wrote that message.
I'm proud of you. Great job.
You made it through a day, right?
You can call it whatever you want.
(38:28):
And it leveraged that technologyto help you pause, right?
We said kind of permission to pause.
We're busy. And so it's a great way to have
a disruptor. I call the cycle disruptor.
Our brain is moving, moving, movement alarm goes off.
Oh, what's that alarm? I'm so proud of you and you look
great today. Thank you self right.
So set that up for yourself there.
(38:50):
I think another great thing thatI'm kind of is a easy practice
that you can do is, you know, I love to use, again, leveraging
technology, but you can use likevoice record.
So you know, when you're having your really good days, you know,
we all have those, right? Whether it's, you know, dealing
with hormones or whatever throughout the month, we have
good days. Bad is on the really good days.
(39:12):
Record as many voice memos as you can.
You know, today I want to remember my hair look good.
Or you know, today those talk about those celebrations.
Today I'm really proud that my child got an A on their test and
I really helped them study. Record as many as you can on
your tough days. You go back and listen to one of
(39:32):
those, maybe 2, maybe 3. And again, there's something so
powerful about not someone else complimenting you or celebrating
you, you complimenting you and celebrating you.
Your brain processes that actually differently and it
really refills your cup. So on those tough days, you
can't find it in you. You'll literally find it in you
(39:54):
by hearing your voice and playing that back.
And then I think you said that second part of.
The question right was around remind me one more time of what
we were on that second piece forsome?
People that may say, hey, I don't have time to do oh, I
don't have favorite salary myself.
Yes, so the examples that I gaveare short, quick, they they
(40:14):
don't actually take too much time of your day.
I also do feel like time is so relative.
Here's why I'll say that. I have friends who say, you
know, especially I spent so manyyears in beauty, right, girl, I
could never spend 20 minutes doing my makeup in the morning
or doing my skin care. But they, the main friend in
line at Starbucks, drive throughfor 20 minutes waiting on that
(40:35):
caramel macchiato, right? So time is, you know, time is so
relative. So I think first we have to set
intention that we deserve it. And there are small things like
facial massage, 5 minutes. You could actually do it while
the kids are brushing their teeth, you know, just tapping
around your eyes. You try this.
(40:55):
It is it not only helps with moving fluid around, it calms
your nervous system. It gives a natural flush to the
face. It moves inflammation around and
you can do it in 5 minutes. You could do it in two or three
minutes, right? Even tapping here on the
collarbone. OK, you could do this while
(41:15):
you're talking to your mom or, you know, while you're waiting
for a load of clothes to, you know, dry in the dryer just a
few minutes. But this gets your energy going,
it gets your blood flowing, it moves out that toxins in the
body and so small things like this.
Giving ourselves self massage, self stimulation doesn't take
(41:36):
long, but it completely transformed how we feel.
Even doing something as simple as pinching your fingertips, it
just suddenly takes away stress and pressure.
Doesn't take too much time and you'll feel right away, you'll
feel that that stress released from your body.
So you don't, I would say you don't need a lot of time even to
(41:58):
do your skin care routine. I would tell people, especially
Black women, we need to nurture ourselves, nourish ourselves.
Doesn't have to take a lot. You wash your face, you put on a
little moisturizer, but don't just, you know, flap it on.
Just take one minute. Just press it into your skin.
Think about how you would touch your babies.
(42:18):
You know that gentle nourishmentwe would give them, give itself
one minute, and I'm telling you,that's 2 to 5 minutes.
We all deserve 2 to 5 minutes. All deserve 2 to 5 minutes.
A little tapping, a little pressing, a little cleansing, a
little pressing of our moisturizer.
(42:39):
Just a minute to look yourself in the mirror for a minute or
two longer than you would. We deserve it.
Yes, we deserve it. So a few simple things, you
know, and if you feel like you really have greater rituals,
longer rituals that you would want to do that are about you.
What I then encourage people to do is like really look at your
(43:02):
calendar, right, like your, your, your week or your month
and say, OK, right, I can't do it all.
I remember years ago, Oprah on her show stuck with me ever
since when she said to someone, women can't have it.
Women can't have it all, just not all at once.
And so look at your calendar andgive yourself some things to
look forward to. OK, maybe you can't do that spa
(43:25):
day or go to the gym every day, but what day can you do?
You can do one day. So OK, I can do the one day I'm
going to do that Sunday. Oh, I can't wait for my Sunday
gym day. And remember, we talked about
we're not going to beat ourselves up.
I didn't go to the gym 6. No.
Oh, I went. I can't wait to go to the gym on
Sunday. Sunday.
So take that pressure off that. Like your habits have to be
(43:48):
daily. They can be weekly, they can be
monthly. That is just worthy as
celebration as anything else. I take my one day a month to go
for a walk by myself, read a book, get me a little iced
coffee and just spend time for me.
That's my one day a month. And that is just as triumphant
as if you were fitting that in every single day.
(44:12):
I love that and I love how you mentioned I deserve, you know,
that's it. That's the only phrase you need
to really focus on is I deserve.You deserve to celebrate
yourself. You're worthy of the applause,
invaluable. And I think it's just a mindset
sometimes that as much as, you know, we want to say we love
(44:34):
ourselves, sometimes we just really have a hard time just
really practicing something as simple as acknowledging, hey, I
deserve this, these 5 minutes, as you mentioned, I deserve to
just take some time for myself just to celebrate myself or just
to remind myself, hey, you're doing a good job.
You know, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging yourself and
(44:56):
it goes back to just having a mindset to remember, just to
reset your mindset and to remember, hey, I deserve this.
You know, all right, if you're anurturer, you give so much to
everyone else. And as you mentioned, address
your face like you would with your baby.
You know that that unconditionallove, if we love ourselves
unconditionally, we be so powerful.
(45:17):
So I just love that so much. So before we end everything,
this is a great conversation. I would like to ask you if you
could leave the audience. Of course, our platform is self
love, but you can give us an affirmation, a self love
affirmation. Just remind us to celebrate
ourselves. Yes, you know, I think I have
(45:38):
always been a big believer in what comes after the words.
I am Will not only come looking for you, but we'll stick with
you. And so typically when I talk to,
you know, groups or young women,especially my young high school
girls who are just coming into their own, they say my what can
I can I do to pump myself up? And I say pick three.
(46:00):
I am three. I am because we spent a lot of
time. I am not smart enough.
I am not young enough. We do a lot of I am not talented
enough. I am not right.
We do a lot of that, but we don't do a lot of I am
courageous, I am loving, I am funny, I am thoughtful.
(46:22):
I am building an empire, I am changing the world.
I am navigating life despite very difficult circumstances.
I am going to get a new job. I am always resourceful.
If we just take three prong, youknow, take I AM and give us
three IMS and hold to that. And you know, repetition breeds
(46:47):
confidence. So, you know, hold on to those.
I am at least for a standard week, right?
And we use some great ones today.
I am deserving of love. I am a woman, and that's not
always easy, but I am triumphant.
I am exploring, I am learning. We talked about it earlier.
(47:10):
I am making mistakes and thriving through it.
I am a leader. I am wonderful, I am determined,
I am tenacious, I am adventurous.
You could fill in those. I am.
Pick your three and I'll say do that voice memo, record it so
(47:30):
you can hear it back for yourself.
But every morning, hopefully now, you're going to be tapping
and massaging and pushing just the 2 minutes.
And while you do that, I am deserving.
I am love, I am beautiful. I am embracing myself in this
body. I am strong despite all that
I've gone through. I am beginning again when I
(47:54):
didn't think that was possible. I am looking great today.
I am smelling delicious. Whatever it is, pick those three
and spend those two to three minutes in the morning that
we're now going to give ourselves using that mantra.
And I will tell you it is absolutely transformative.
(48:14):
But here's the bigger thing. We're going to do that for
ourselves. But then the challenge I have
for everyone is when you go out in the world, share that talent
with someone else, especially when you hear that little inner
saboteur come in and you hear your Co worker or your sister.
I am not figuring this out. What are you doing today?
(48:37):
Well, I, I am leading A-Team. That's right my friend.
And so our IMS will then subsequently empower other IMS.
And if we can help more and morewomen lean into who we are, less
of what we're not, we can absolutely transform the world
and light it up. Yes, I love it.
(48:59):
We, we're capable of everything that we want to do, You know
that we can tackle those things,we can do great things.
We are capable. We are unstoppable.
So yeah, I love those affirmations.
And again, I think it's just a mindset.
And I know celebrating yourself as small or as big as it may
seem as someone, it's a mindset just to just remember you're
(49:23):
worthy, you're valuable, but also just to acknowledge your
attributes. I'm smart, I'm intelligent.
If some things aren't working out, focus on some of the things
that you've done. Think of where you are today.
Always think of where you are today.
Maybe earlier this morning wasn't going great, but what
have you done today? Everything couldn't have gone
(49:43):
bad. You got up this morning, you
tackle big things. You have this career that be
proud of. You have a family, you're here.
So there's so many things to celebrate.
So I just love some of the reminders that you mentioned.
And I do hope that people that TuneIn can take away some great
gym. So thank you again for this
(50:04):
beautiful conversation. Before we end everything, tell
people how they can follow you and how they can learn more
about you. Yes, absolutely.
And, and thank you for creating this space in place for all of
us. I mean, what a gift you are to
us and I mean, goodness, five years later and we are still
having such beautiful, inspiringconversations.
(50:24):
So thank you and yeah, absolutely.
Join in the fun on my Instagram at the Sequin Unicorn.
Also, you can find me on LinkedIn if you're more in that
professional arena. I tend to do content and
engagement there that really is for the professional woman.
So feel free to join there. You can find me at Myesha
Proctor on LinkedIn. And also as I mentioned, I am
(50:49):
leading at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
So we may have some goodies for you all to check that out.
But you can see I'm often there on IG live doing really great
talks. I'm sharing through similar
here, education to empower us. As I mentioned on and off the
plate, and especially for women of color, we lack access to the
(51:09):
knowledge to empower us to eat well, be well.
And so this platform is such a beautiful one for the mind.
And our goal is to enrich the lives of people with the body.
So come learn about your hormones, your gut, all the
stuff that you know, grandma didn't tell you.
We are here to educate you. So join in the fun there too.
We have all kind of fun events and I'd love to see you.
(51:32):
Awesome, thank you again, and I'll make sure they have all
your information so people can follow you and get that daily
dose of sugar because we all need it.
And thank you again for being myguest for my first episode of
2025. Yes, five years.
So this has just been a beautiful, beautiful thing.
And I hope everyone that tuned in to this episode that you guys
(51:54):
can just remember that you're valuable, you're worthy.
Why don't you take a look in themirror and realize that Oh my
God, you're a big deal celebrating yourself.
There's no question it's inevitable, like you should be
celebrating yourself. You are a big so just declare
that today that you're a big deal and this is the last day
(52:16):
that you're going to minimize yourself and not realize what a
big deal you are. So if you need that reminder,
make sure you tune into this episode.
Watch it on repeat. You are a big deal and you're
worthy and you're valuable. So thank you guys again for
tuning into this episode of the Q chat.
You can kept just episode and much more www.goclean.com.
(52:38):
Make sure you guys be safe. Go love yourself, but remember
to go be unstoppable. Thank you guys for tuning in.
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