June 24, 2025 • 50 mins
In this solo episode, host Shronda Armstrong gets real about the emotional weight of feeling unsupported by those closest to us—and why it shouldn't stop your shine. She unpacks how social media can distort our expectations of support, the importance of discernment in relationships, and the power of self-validation.
From navigating friendships and silent critics to finding your inner cheerleader, Shronda offers a powerful message for every uncelebrated Queen. If you’ve ever questioned who’s truly in your corner or felt the sting of silence when you needed a cheerleader—this episode is for you.
This conversation is a reminder that the journey to greatness often starts with celebrating ourselves first.
You don’t need applause to be amazing. You just need permission to Geaux shine anyway.
Take a listen. Don’t let their silence silence you.
Follow for weekly conversations on self-love, healing, and empowerment.
Visit: www.geauxqueen.com IG: @iam_geauxqueen | @theqchat_podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
There's a plate about a businessman working hard on a
weny shell, head high, purpose, chin in bed, crown on it with
tilted. Go clean, go clean.
(00:28):
She's a queen about a businessman working hard on the.
(00:49):
Thank you guys again for joininganother episode of the Q Chat.
So I'm going to start doing somedifferent things with the
podcast. Again, I appreciate everyone
that has stuck with this programthat continue to tune in and
show up, that listens to the audios and also watches the
videos as well. For people who have been
(01:11):
listeners of this podcast since it's fruition in 2019, as you
guys know, this podcast has always been about just exalting
Queens, of course, but our main mission is self love, motivating
one another and discussing topics that we all need to get
some insight on that we want to hear someone that has gone
(01:34):
through the same thing. So I want to start getting back
to my roots with the Q chat, of course with Go Queen.
If you guys even look at the magazine, look at the digital
articles, it's things that help women, things that we need to
talk about, things that we need to learn about.
So I wanted to start getting back to these different topics
and I'm grateful for all my guests, but I do want to start
(01:57):
showing up individually more as much as I can.
And I'm going to push through this.
I know with my asthma, sometimesit has been a little difficult
for me to do individual episodesalone.
I haven't done one in quite sometime.
So if my breathing sounds a little heavier, if it may seem
like I'm huffing and puffing, trust me, it's not because this
(02:21):
isn't important. So it's just a part of my life
dealing with severe asthma. But I'm going to push through
because I do want to get back todisconnecting one-on-one with
everyone on different topics again.
I'm blessed for all the beautiful guests that I have and
all the guests that I've had. We have been able to offer some
(02:42):
amazing insight on self love andmotivation.
So you will be getting that samecontent.
But I do want to just get back to my roots and just start
offering more of my particular perspective on different things.
So I just wrapped up a pink raincall on with Go Queen.
We do have biweekly pink rain calls where we talk about some
amazing things and we celebrate one another.
(03:05):
So recently I did have an episode with Myesha Proctor
where we did talk about just theimportance of celebrating one
another. So one thing that I was able to
pick up on all these amazing women that I have these group
calls with was that as creatives, we have come into a
lot of different situations where we have picked up on maybe
(03:26):
friends or family that just really, truly don't give the
support that we expect. And I don't know how many other
people are going through this. I know when I look at different
videos on TikTok and things of that nature, I see so many other
people who have actually stated that they are going through the
same things where they're not getting the support that they
(03:49):
expect that they feel that they would get from that friend or
that family member on all the different things that we're
working on. And how does that make you feel?
I know when I notice things likethat, it just gives you a level
of weirdness where you're wondering like, why is it that
my friend or I use the term loosely, but why is it that
someone that you consider a friend or even your family, they
(04:13):
just don't offer that support that you expect to get from
them? Now, mind you, I do feel that we
don't have to operate in the spirit of needing validation,
but let's be honest, I think maybe because we are all in this
social media world and we sit and watch people support
(04:37):
everyone. They support strangers, they
support that celebrity. They just, you know, they do all
these different things above andbeyond.
But you're sitting there like, wow, what about me?
You know, you start thinking about, you know, Essie and dream
girls. What about how I feel?
You know, so sometimes you just can't help but know this, that
those that, that applause that you expect to get from the
(05:00):
people close to you, it gets real quiet.
It gets real silent and you're wondering, hey, what is it about
what I'm working on that I'm notgetting that support from that
friend that I really thought wasgonna support my vision.
So there's a lot of things that takeaways that you can take from
(05:21):
that. Like some people, they may look
at it like, well, why do you need their validation?
Why do you need that applause orthat acknowledgement from your
friend? But here's the thing again, it's
not that you that is required ofthat friend, but if you have
someone that's close to you, someone that sees you, someone
(05:42):
that has maybe even seen you in your struggle and now you're out
of that struggle, what's the problem?
Wouldn't you expect them to be excited for you?
Wouldn't you expect them to celebrate your progress or
celebrate that accomplishment that you have now?
So in my call, one of someone that I really, really revered
(06:05):
that I think is a very special person.
She's currently written her first fiction novel.
So we were discussing some different things and just how
someone that she really value and entrusted just was not doing
what they were supposed to do asan editor for her vision.
And so when she was relaying these different things, I just
(06:26):
kept saying to myself, this isn't right.
So as I told her, you have to take #1 the friendship out of
this equation. Because if someone has your
vision, think about it, a book that you've written or a podcast
that you started or a magazine that you started or a movie that
you may be working on, this is your gift.
(06:49):
This is your baby. You wouldn't let anybody just
watch your child. So you should not just allow
anybody to have any type of justtouching your dream and
mishandling it. So as I mentioned to her, the
way I look at things, if my friend is writing a book, I
(07:10):
should look at my friend's book as if it's the next best seller.
Now, some people may disagree with that, but I would argue up
and down with you because again,if my friend doesn't celebrate
me, what does that say about ourfriendship?
Why aren't you encouraging my dream?
What is it that you don't value about my talent OR my gift that
(07:35):
is making it hard for you to acknowledge it?
And one of the things that we were able to think about and
just discuss and our call was also there's different roles and
friendships. And I know of people have
experienced this. Maybe sometimes this particular
friend, you're not accustomed toseeing them win possibly.
(07:59):
Or maybe you see that friend andyou may know they have these
different talents and they've just been kind of playing around
with it. But now they're manifesting,
they're investing, those dreams are starting to come true.
And sometimes, sometimes it seems like it's hard for people
(08:19):
to really see that friend walking in their light and
walking in their purpose. To me personally, that's a scary
thing. If you have somebody around you
that cannot celebrate, I just can't fathom that you're finally
(08:41):
walking into your purpose. That friend could really become
someone dangerous in your corner.
Just like we acknowledge and notcall.
And we know we've all heard thissaying, come on, let's put some
age on us right now. One bad apple will spoil the
whole bunch. We know how this goes.
(09:01):
If you're building on something special or if you're working on
your dream, you're trying to manifest, you're trying to grow.
What do you think that negative friend?
What power do you think that negative person can have over
your dream? Now, you may take it lightly,
but it's not to be taken lightlybecause the people that we have
(09:22):
in our circles, we look to thosepeople sometimes and we need
help when we need advice, when we need a pick me up, when we
just need support, we look to the people in our circle
sometimes. Think about it.
Has there been a time when you needed advice?
What are you gonna do? You'll go to one of your
friends, someone that you feel as an important person in your
(09:45):
life, someone that you value, someone that you think sees you.
You're reaching out to that friend for that advice.
So what do you think will happenif you're reaching out to
someone who you really, truly can't trust?
Do you think they're actually going to give you any
information that's really going to help you?
Do you think they're going to pour into you and speak into you
(10:08):
something that's going to exalt you?
Of course not, because they don't value you like that.
So again, who we have in our life matters.
We have to be mindful to #1 use discernment, but #2 make sure
that we really stop taking alignment lightly.
(10:30):
We have to make sure that we're aligned with the right people in
our lives. And I'm telling you, if we're
not aligned with the right people, those things can really
crush us. It can water down our dreams.
It can stop us from accomplishing great things.
It can do damage in our lives. Again, as we know, there's life
(10:54):
and death in the power of the tongue.
So if we have people around us who are not speaking positive
things into our life, who are not pouring positive things into
our life, what do you think the outcome will be?
We have to make sure that we're aligned with the right people.
The people in our circle matters.
(11:15):
So again, how do you feel when you're working on something
amazing? Did you take time to just really
see who acknowledges you, who celebrates you and who doesn't?
I think a lot of people, unfortunately, have been in
these situations where we'll be surprised that the people who we
(11:40):
really thought was gonna be in our corner, the person that we
really thought was gonna be thatcheerleader, they get radio
silent when that good thing happens.
And it's like, wait a minute, Like wait a minute, like I go
way back with this person. You know, this is my girl, This
is my girl from high school, or this is, you know, this is my
(12:02):
favorite cousin and this is my family.
Why aren't they acknowledging what I've worked on?
These are times where you have to really take time to assess
your relationships. And the sad part about it is
when you start assessing those relationships, sometimes you
(12:24):
start seeing things that you didnot want to see.
You start realizing that maybe that person who you thought was
your friend really is not the friend that you thought they
were. Maybe some of your, even some of
your family members you've revered have actually just been
doing nothing more than keeping that generational curse going.
(12:49):
They don't want to see you win. They don't want to see you get
out of a certain tax bracket. They don't want to see you get
out of a certain town. They don't want to see you
accomplish anything. And let's be honest, a lot of
our family members are biggest haters.
They're the main people who they're gonna sit back and watch
you. They're not gonna say a word.
(13:13):
And especially if you come from different families, and I know
what in my family, if you come from families that have
favorites, you're not supposed to be that one.
That's when, and that's really what they put in your mind.
They looking at you like, wait aminute, that's not the family
member who I thought was gonna make it happen.
So they're gonna make sure that they're not gonna celebrate you.
(13:34):
They're going to make sure that they do everything they can to
pour that generational curse. The nastiness, the stink, the
rotten flesh of those generational curses.
They want to pour it into you. They don't want to see you
dreaming. They don't want to see you
accomplishing anything. You're not supposed to be
(13:57):
growing. And I know it can hurt sometimes
because it's let's see if you'rethat person and let me, you
know, let me just put that out there.
Let's say you're that person whoyou really do cheer for other
people. You see the value in people.
If your friend accomplices something that's like you
accomplished it. So you're you're cheering as
(14:18):
loud as you can for them. You're so happy for them.
If you're that person, it reallystings when you notice that
someone's not giving that to you.
You're wondering, like, what is going on?
Why is it that a stranger is happier for me than my own
family member, than my own friend, than the people who I
(14:41):
value, the people who I pour into all the time?
Why is it that they're the most quiet?
They're the most silent ones when you've done something
great. But I want to offer this to you.
You have to remember to not allow these things to discourage
you. One thing that enemy is really
(15:04):
big on is putting that that thatwhole emotion of fear.
They want to put fear in you. The enemy wants you to be scared
to even celebrate yourself. The enemy wants you to second
guess yourself. The enemy also wants to make
sure you have a, a little, a little bit of imposter syndrome
(15:26):
in you. The enemy wants to make sure
that that imposter syndrome multiplies and gets bigger and
bigger and bigger. They want to make sure you're
stuck in that box. I recently did a TikTok where I
discussed a situation where I was mentioning that someone who
I really considered a friend, I was just telling her, you know
(15:47):
what, I just really want to leave.
I want to get out of Louisiana. I just want to get out of here.
I just want to just do somethingdifferent.
And she was like, girl, where? I mean, come on.
So one of the things I acknowledge is, you know what?
Some of the people who are in our corner, the people who you
really think will be there for you, the people who you really
(16:08):
think will just encourage you, some of those people in your
corner, they only want you to stay in a corner.
So you have to be very, very mindful #1 or who you even share
your dreams with, who you share your goals with.
Sometimes it's best to be silent.
You can't share these the good things with everybody.
(16:31):
You can't share what you got going on.
You can't share some of the things that you want to
accomplish with certain people. And some of us really do.
We know who those people are in our lives.
We know the coworker or the friend or the cousin or even
sometimes the parent that you cannot share that dream with
(16:52):
'cause all they gonna do is bring out the worst case
scenarios. I never forget.
I had a cousin one time and she said it so proudly to me.
She's like, you know what? I bring out worst case
scenarios. To each his own.
But for me, I really don't want someone bringing out worst case
scenarios. Again.
(17:12):
There's life and death in the power of the tongue.
So me personally, don't speak anything negative over anything
that I'm working on, over anything that I have in my
heart. Don't speak anything negative
over it. The world itself will show us
enough worst case scenarios. But I want people to pour into
me, to speak life into me, to speak life into my dream.
(17:35):
So tell me the best case scenario.
Tell me the best outcome that can happen if I go ahead and
start pursuing this dream. Tell me the best outcome that
can happen if I go ahead and tryto move to this new city.
I try to go ahead and start a new career, or if I want to go
(17:55):
ahead and finally try to write this book that I've been wanting
to write for a long time. You know, I'm a writer.
You know, I love to write. Pour some great things into me.
Pour something great into me. If I'm telling you, hey, I've
had dreams of being a filmmaker,I'm going to go ahead and get
that crew together. I'm going to work with some
other creatives and finally makethat short movie.
(18:17):
I want somebody to pour life into that.
Tell me the best case scenario. Tell me how it can work out.
Tell me how that book can be a bestseller.
Tell me how I can get that film produced and get it on different
networks. Tell me how I can build that
audience. Speak great things into me.
(18:37):
It's not asking that much to saythat we want people to speak
life into us. So I just want to encourage
people to just make sure that again, that you are your biggest
cheerleader. It is important to celebrate
ourselves. Let's not for one moment think
(18:58):
that we should not be celebrating ourselves.
And it's not arrogance, it's notnarcissism to celebrate
yourself, to acknowledge the great things that you're working
on, to speak life into yourself.It's not being selfish or being
a narcissist or being arrogant to just say, hey, I'm working on
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something special. I'm going to pour life into me.
I've been in a dark place maybe in the past, but look where I am
now. It's OK to celebrate that.
Don't let anyone take those things away from you.
So yes, you should be your number one cheerleader no matter
what. However, you should have a
(19:42):
positive circle in your life. It's it's, it's imperative, it's
necessary because if you're working on something special,
you need people to speak life into you, to pour into you, to
encourage you, to celebrate thatwin, to remind you of how
special you are. Sometimes we have people in our
(20:03):
lives that actually see the potential that we have.
They see the potential in a greater perspective than you see
it. But some people in our lives, if
they really, really have sinister intentions, if they
really don't have any creative spirit in them, if they don't
have any gifts, they're betting on you not seeing your
(20:24):
potential. They're hoping you don't see how
great you are. They're hoping that you don't
notice how get that you truly are because if you don't notice
it, you won't outshine them. Maybe they're comfortable just
being in their space. Maybe they don't want to grow.
They don't want to do anything new.
(20:45):
They don't want to change anything about their lives.
So they're looking at you like, why are they trying to go ahead
and embark on this dream? Why are they trying to change
their finances for the better? Why are they trying to change
their appearance for the better?Who do they think they are?
How dare they step out and accomplish something phenomenal
(21:09):
when I'm not doing those things Now, do you think it's a good
thing to have people like that in your life?
Of course not. And I know that it does hurt
sometimes when you look at certain people in your life,
certain people in your circle. If you have people in your
circle and you start realizing, well, man, the season on this
(21:32):
relationship is starting to change.
Have you had some in some in your life for such a long time?
And we, we're big on that. We like to look at years.
We like to look at the quantity instead of the quality a lot of
times in our relationships. So when we have that friend that
we never thought would go away, it hurts sometimes when we start
(21:54):
looking at that person. Like you know what, they have
been doing a lot of sarcastic little, you know, snarky
comments when I talk about something great I have going on.
Gee, my friend has been real quiet when I was celebrating,
when I was happy over this accomplishment.
They they haven't said much. Why now, when you start noticing
(22:19):
that somebody close to you is, dare I say, a hater?
Let's be honest, we're all human.
Of course it hurts. It's natural to hurt.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that it hurts.
But you have to really do some some some work.
You gotta put some work in. And sometimes you have to
realize, well, you know what? I may have to end this
(22:42):
friendship. I may have to really look and
realize that, OK, this person who I thought was in position #1
as a friend, maybe they're just an associate.
Maybe this person who I really, really, really like to share
things with, her, I really thought is somebody that I
(23:03):
value, that values me. Maybe that person is a person
who is just simply the position of a person you just went to
school with, a person you just used to work with.
Maybe they're not necessarily the definition of what you
consider to be a friend. So again, sometimes we have to
really make sure we make assessments on who's in our life
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because again, it's important when you're building something,
when you're working on somethingspecial, you do need the right
people around you. You do need the people that's
going to celebrate it. You do need the people that's
going to encourage you. You need the people that's going
to speak life into you. So there's nothing wrong with
being mindful and starting to assess who is in your life.
(23:49):
And again, there's a mourning period.
Sometimes it hurts because you're wondering like, man, this
is somebody who I really valued,who I loved as a friend.
And I'm starting to realize, well, you know, maybe that
person's a hater and maybe that person just doesn't value me.
Maybe that same person will celebrate 10 other people doing
the exact same thing that you'redoing.
(24:11):
And not only that, maybe some ofthem are even celebrating people
who are doing things that's not as great as what you're working
on. I noticed that mediocrity has a
bigger audience. Some people love mediocre
things. They love mediocre people
because in mediocracy, when theysee somebody that's doing
(24:33):
something mediocre, it's so easyfor them to gravitate towards
the mediocre. The mediocre doesn't have a
gift. The mediocre doesn't have the
same talent. The mediocre has no talent.
They're just spitting out thingsto be popular or to be well
liked. And like we all know in the word
(24:54):
masses, sometimes the M is silent.
So you take that as you will. So again, sometimes the
mediocre, they get the bigger applause they have the bigger
audience, they have the biggest applause that that that the
hyped up cheerleaders. Because being mediocre is is so
(25:17):
easy. We know how easy beating being
mediocre is. And that's something that we
have to really make sure that wedon't have these people in our
lives that rather celebrate mediocrity over greatness.
(25:37):
And one thing you have to be very mindful of as a gifted
person, you have to understand that the oil is expensive.
It's not cheap. So when you're a gifted person,
you have to remember that they're going to be some people
sometimes, but their whole mission, it's just to bring you
(25:58):
down. They don't want to celebrate
being gifted. They don't want a gifted person
to even manifest and accomplish great things.
They're stuck in their same stagnant world, but you're doing
all these different moves. You're accomplishing things.
(26:20):
Like I said, you're writing thatbook, you're being a creative,
you're influencing, you're starting that business.
The business is starting to grow.
You're bettering yourself. It's even showing in your
appearance. Your skin's glowing, your hair
looking fabulous. You're doing great things.
People can see it. They can seal it.
(26:42):
So when those things happen, that's when you gotta watch out.
Because when you start growing, when you start accomplishing
things, when you start manifesting, that's when you're
gonna see who's your cheerleaderand you're going to see who's
your hater. And that's when you have to
start making cuts accordingly. It's never a good thing to have
(27:06):
a hater around you. It's never a good thing to have
someone that just truly doesn't see your gift around you.
It's never a good thing. And here's the most dangerous
person, the person that sees howtalented you truly are, but
because they have insecurities or because they aren't gifted,
or because they just cannot grasp the same talent that you
(27:29):
have, these certain things come super easy to you.
This person is dangerous becausethey will see all the different
gifts that you have, but they'lldo their best to make sure that
you don't see it or they'll do everything they can in their
power to minimalize what you have going on.
(27:52):
They'll try to sweep it under the rug.
If you even present something great to them, they have
something small to say. We know like those friends.
Have you ever experienced those little friends that do those
little, those funny little jokes, those jokes that are at
your expense, the sarcastic friend, have you experienced
(28:13):
that before? Those are the most dangerous
people to have around you because they will break their
arms to not clap for you, to notgive you that applause 'cause
they don't want to see you win. They know that you're special.
They know that you're gifted. They know you got it going on,
(28:34):
girl, but they don't want you toknow that.
They don't want you getting too full of yourself.
They don't want you going out there and accomplishing
something phenomenal. They don't want you to be the
next best thing. These are the most dangerous
people to have around you. You have to really, really,
(28:56):
really be very cautious of who you align your circle.
Here is where discernment comes in.
Sometimes we have people around us.
They've made us uncomfortable. Some of them haven't really
hidden the fact that they're a hater or that there's somebody
who really, truly is not going to clap for you.
(29:18):
They haven't really hidden it because they've given you hints.
They put it out there. They put it out there and the
way that they didn't applaud foryou, but they applauded for the
next person that was doing something, if not the same
thing, something that wasn't even as good as what you were
working on. They've done it in the ways that
they went out of their way to not support you.
(29:40):
They've done it in the ways thatthey've even said some negative
things over you, but they said it in the form of a joke.
A joke to diminish you, a joke to put you down.
They've shown who they were. But again, if you're a loving
person, if you're someone that does not see the worst in
people, if you're a person that really, truly does try to see
(30:01):
the best in people, you've felt it.
Don't get me wrong, you know youfelt it, but you just didn't
want to believe that that personwas out there living like that.
So you continue to keep them around, but there's only so much
you can take. You can't have people like this
in your life. As you grow, as you begin to
(30:24):
climb, there's going to be some people that you have to leave
behind. There's going to be some people
that you're going to have to letgo of.
And here's the thing, too, there's going to be some people
who naturally fall off. They're not going to be there
for you. I know when I started Go Queen,
(30:45):
I don't have the same people that have been in my circle now
in 2025 that I had in my circle in 2019 when I first started.
This growth disturbs some people.
Sometimes when you're growing, it starts to stir up some things
and people that just really, they just couldn't see you
(31:08):
accomplishing certain goals. You had a goal for hire.
They had a goal for you as well.The goal they have for you was
that they just didn't want you to get too high.
Don't get too full of yourself. Don't, don't do this.
Don't link up with this person. Don't grow.
Don't make something amazing. They wanted you to be mediocre
(31:29):
at the end of the day. They didn't think that book that
you were going to do was going to be that good.
You talked about filming this movie for a long time.
Now that now that you've done it, that's not what they were
expecting. They thought you were going to
be just like them. Some people do a lot of talk and
no action. I remember years ago when I was
in payroll had these friends, wewould talk all the time about
(31:52):
how we didn't really care for this job or we should all start
a business. Those friends are still there.
These are people I was working with way back in the day in like
2017 or so. They're still there.
Some people do a lot of talk. So when you actually act on what
you've been putting out there, what you've been manifesting,
(32:15):
when you're starting to see the fruits of your labor, they truly
cannot comprehend. How is it that she actually made
this happen while I've only beenjust sitting here talking?
I've just been running my mouth,blowing hot air, just saying
things just to say them. But she actually started putting
(32:37):
a plan in place. She started acting on the things
that she said that she was goingto do, and she actually
accomplished them. And she's still accomplishing
those things. Some people can't fathom how you
were able to do that. And sometimes we don't realize
in our friends circles that we may have a friend who they just
(33:00):
don't see you being that person.They don't see you being that
girl. They don't see you being that
entrepreneur, that creative, that influencer, that filmmaker.
They just don't see you. They didn't see that in you.
They didn't think that I've out of all the people that they know
(33:21):
that you of all people would be the one to accomplish some great
things. So they just simply don't like
it. Again, if you're trying to build
something, if you have it on your mind that you want to focus
and be great, you have to be very mindful of who is around
(33:41):
you, who is in your circle. Discernment and alignment.
Those need to be your partners on how you choose to operate in
your life and your relationshipsand your business, professional
relationships and everything in your life.
Discernment in alignment go handin hand.
(34:05):
You have to use that discernmentto make sure that you are not
letting the wrong people in yourlife.
If something feels off, take it from the very beginning.
It feels off for a reason because this person is not
supposed to be around you. God sends us signs.
He sends us that Spidey sense all the time.
(34:27):
But sometimes we just want to give people the benefit of the
doubt. We just don't want to believe
that people are like this, but they are.
Alignment's important. Don't be so desperate to have
people around you to the point where you'll let any old body
around you. You'll share anything with
(34:48):
somebody because you're desperate to have a friend or
just desperate to have another person near you.
Don't have that desperation. Make sure that you're aligned
with the right people. It's important.
It's necessary. Being around the wrong people
can cost you your life. It can cost you your dream.
(35:08):
It can rob your spirit. It can take away from the
excitement and the joy that you have in your life.
The light that's in you being aligned with the wrong people,
well dim that light that you have.
So make sure that everything in your life is true alignment.
(35:29):
Every person in your life is true alignment.
Every assignment, every purpose,everything that you're working
on is in alignment for great things.
You have to be very mindful on who you allow into your life.
So again, as we were discussing different things in our previous
(35:50):
pink Ring called us about sometimes those friends and
families are quiet. One of the beautiful members of
our group, she mentioned also with social media, social media
has a way of showing you your haters.
It shows you your biggest hatersand it also shows you your
(36:10):
biggest fans. So isn't that crazy?
But social media is such an evilthing.
It's it's like a necessary evil because of course, if you're
building something, unfortunately we live in a world
they'd look at your social mediaactivity.
Also, social media started off as something where people, you
(36:31):
know, they went on there to share things.
You know, you want to go ahead and highlight something great
that's happening. You want to just share it with
your friends. You're thinking that, oh, it's
nothing you share with your friends and family.
You don't think it's going to bethat big of a thing just to
share these different things with people.
But what the the current times have shown us, it's that social
media will show you who your critics are.
(36:53):
It'll show you who the people are who really are around you
who are actual haters. It also will show you people
around you that really, truly, genuinely like what you're
doing. They respect you, they see what
you have going on. They know the highs and lows
that you've gone through and they're more than happy to
celebrate you. But here's the thing, do not get
(37:18):
wrapped up in social media validation.
So again, I know if you're working on something special,
you're building, you're trying to build an audience across
social media is the easy medium to build an audience.
That is what is there for. But don't allow some of the
people who are on there with a, with a different purpose to
(37:39):
deter you to just break you down.
Don't allow that to happen. Some of the things I had to do
personally, I had to remove a lot of friends and family off my
social media. Mel Robin said it best.
Your social media, it really isn't for your friends and
family. If you're trying to build
something, you want to pull in those people who see you in a
(38:03):
fresh light. You want fresh new people to
connect with on that social media.
Social media really is your basefor your new clients.
It's for your networking, it's for your new audience.
It's to build, it's to grow. So when you take out the
negativity of social media and remove those negative people,
(38:26):
you're free on that social media.
You're not feeling some type of way when you post something that
you've worked on and oh, cousin so and so or auntie, yadda
yadda. Don't acknowledge it.
Are the the the person that you know you know since the 3rd
grade, but you haven't seen themsince you were seven, but you'd
(38:47):
have them on your social media. Why are we allowing people like
this to hold weight into our lives?
We gotta really think about thissometimes.
Use that social media to network.
Use that social media to build. If they're on there and they're
just being a monitoring spirit, just lurking and giving you all
(39:12):
this negative energy that you can feel.
You can feel negative energy when people really aren't
aligned and they don't have the right intentions.
You can feel that negative energy.
You can feel it even through your social media.
You can feel that you have people on there that's not for
you. You can tell they give off this
(39:34):
energy. Energy doesn't lie.
Sometimes you have to bless people and block them or at
least mute them, get them out ofyour life.
Think about it. If you're on the job, are you
going to bring your negative cousin with you to work?
Are you going to take your negative cousin with you on the
(39:54):
next work project? Are you going to bring your
negative cousin with you and introduce your negative cousin
to your manager? To your friends, to your
clients. Are you going to bring that
negative cousin with you on yournext business meeting?
Of course not. So sometimes you have to look at
that on your social media. Am I going to bring this person
that I've known since 3rd grade,but I haven't seen them in
(40:17):
decades? Am I going to bring them to my
job? Are you going to even bring them
in your house? So why are you sharing things
that are special and important to you with them?
Come on, let's think about this.You have to remove people and
not have any type of guilt behind it.
(40:39):
You have to start living unapologetically.
There's nothing wrong but makingsure your circle is tight.
There's nothing wrong with making sure sure that your
circle is right. So start looking at the people
that's in your life and start thinking smart.
(41:00):
Start using your intelligence, start using your discernment to
make sure that you have the right people around you.
Now, mind you, as I said, there's just gonna be some
people in your life that just not going to cheer for you.
It doesn't matter what you do. They're not gonna give you that
applause. They're not going to give you
(41:20):
that Gold Star. They're not going to acknowledge
you. And that's OK.
It doesn't mean that what you'reworking on isn't great.
It doesn't mean you aren't gifted.
It doesn't mean you aren't talented.
You steal all of those things. You are that girl, and don't you
forget that. But don't allow somebody who
(41:43):
sees who you are and there's silence to just change You don't
let it stir your spirit. Don't let it discourage you.
Don't let it second guess you. Don't let their silence silence
you. Don't stop.
Don't stop writing because of them.
(42:07):
Don't go ahead and say, hey, I'mjust going to stop working on
this because of them. Don't put that manuscript to the
side because of them. Don't put that screenplay to the
side because of them. Don't put that business idea to
the side because of them. Don't put those fitness goals to
(42:28):
the side because of them. Don't put that vision board to
the side with all the beautiful places that you want to visit
because of them. Don't put it to the side because
of them, because of their silence.
You can do great things. You're already doing great
(42:49):
things and you deserve all the applause you can get.
You deserve all the flowers thatyou can receive.
You deserve to know that you area big deal.
You are that girl. You're making things happen.
You've come a long way. You've gone over so many
(43:10):
different hurdles. You've fought depression.
You've fought imposter syndrome.You fought A generational curse.
You've fought past trauma. You've fought past bullying.
You fought past people whose mission it was to just bring you
(43:30):
down. You fought past all of that.
And look at you. Look where you are now.
Look at all the things you've accomplished.
Look at who you're becoming. Don't allow anybody to push you
in a corner. Don't allow someone who is in
your corner but only want you tostay in your corner to bring you
(43:53):
down. Let that silence speak more
about the type of people that they are, not who you are.
Make sure that when they don't give you that applause, when
they don't give you those flowers.
When you see them acknowledging the next person doing the same
thing you're doing. When you see them going out of
(44:14):
their way to acknowledge that celebrity.
When you see them going out of their way to acknowledge that
other family member, when you see them going out of their way
to acknowledge that other classmate, when you see them
going out of their way to just acknowledge everyone, but you
(44:35):
make sure that you remember thatit says more about them than
you. Again, you're doing great
things. You're making things happen, and
for the people that don't applaud you, there are people
that will give you the same applause.
They're applauding you right now.
(44:56):
They're waiting to see when you're coming out with that next
book. They want to know when you have
that next podcast episode comingout.
They want to know when's the next magazine issue, when's the
next screenplay coming out? When's your next video coming
out? When's your next project coming
(45:17):
out? When are you having that next
event? They're waiting on you.
When's that next block coming out?
They're waiting on you. They support you, they see you,
they love you. Just remember the people who are
silent, don't allow them to stopyou.
(45:40):
They don't matter. Sometimes you have to really
roll up your sleeves and stick out your chest and even
incorporate that I don't care attitude.
I don't care about who's not acknowledging me.
I don't care about these people.I don't need their validation
because I'm a do great things regardless.
I'll do great things in spite of.
(46:02):
So just remember when that silence gets really loud from
the people who you thought wouldbe that big cheerleader, it is
OK. Let them.
Let them stay over there. Let them keep that negative
energy over there. Let them keep that messiness and
that, that, that, that, that, that unsupportive spirit that
(46:24):
they have that hate and spirit. Let them keep it way over there
because you have a purpose that you're working on.
You have a mission and what you're working on is too big to
worry about them. So again, don't be afraid to
block. Don't be afraid to move on.
Don't be afraid to cut ties. Don't be afraid to meet, keep on
(46:48):
doing what you're doing 'cause again, you're accomplishing
great things. I applaud you.
The people who truly love you. Applaud you.
The people who know how talentedyou are, applaud you.
And you cannot afford to give upnow.
So make sure you accomplish those great things.
(47:10):
Keep on moving forward, keep on dreaming, keep on manifesting,
keep on being that girl 'cause I'm telling you, you got it
going on. You're doing some amazing things
and this is not the time to stop.
Don't let anybody make their silence bury you.
(47:32):
Don't let anybody throw their negativity on you to the point
that you're starting to believe in you know who you really are.
I never forget my favorite scenein Black Panthers when T'challa
was on that that mountain and hewould think he was getting the
best of them and his mom. The queen said.
Show them who you are, show yourself who you are.
(47:56):
Show up for yourself. You are doing great things.
Their silence doesn't matter. Thank you again for just taking
in these words and I do pray that this message reaches the
right person and again, their silence doesn't matter.
(48:18):
You keep on accomplishing great things, She's.
A queen about a business, working hard on a mission, head
high purpose driven, crown on, never tilted, go quick.
(48:44):
She's a queen about a business, working hard on a mission, had
high purpose, driven crown on, never tilted.
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
(49:15):
Go queen, go queen. Go queen.
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
(49:37):
She's a queen of thy. Biz working hard on me.
Head hop upstream. Go.
Queen, go. Queen, go Queen.
(50:00):
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
There's a plate about a businessman working hard on a
weny shell, head high, purpose, chin in bed, crown on it with
tilted. Go clean, go clean.
(00:28):
She's a queen about a businessman working hard on the.
(00:49):
Thank you guys again for joininganother episode of the Q Chat.
So I'm going to start doing somedifferent things with the
podcast. Again, I appreciate everyone
that has stuck with this programthat continue to tune in and
show up, that listens to the audios and also watches the
videos as well. For people who have been
(01:11):
listeners of this podcast since it's fruition in 2019, as you
guys know, this podcast has always been about just exalting
Queens, of course, but our main mission is self love, motivating
one another and discussing topics that we all need to get
some insight on that we want to hear someone that has gone
(01:34):
through the same thing. So I want to start getting back
to my roots with the Q chat, of course with Go Queen.
If you guys even look at the magazine, look at the digital
articles, it's things that help women, things that we need to
talk about, things that we need to learn about.
So I wanted to start getting back to these different topics
and I'm grateful for all my guests, but I do want to start
(01:57):
showing up individually more as much as I can.
And I'm going to push through this.
I know with my asthma, sometimesit has been a little difficult
for me to do individual episodesalone.
I haven't done one in quite sometime.
So if my breathing sounds a little heavier, if it may seem
like I'm huffing and puffing, trust me, it's not because this
(02:21):
isn't important. So it's just a part of my life
dealing with severe asthma. But I'm going to push through
because I do want to get back todisconnecting one-on-one with
everyone on different topics again.
I'm blessed for all the beautiful guests that I have and
all the guests that I've had. We have been able to offer some
(02:42):
amazing insight on self love andmotivation.
So you will be getting that samecontent.
But I do want to just get back to my roots and just start
offering more of my particular perspective on different things.
So I just wrapped up a pink raincall on with Go Queen.
We do have biweekly pink rain calls where we talk about some
amazing things and we celebrate one another.
(03:05):
So recently I did have an episode with Myesha Proctor
where we did talk about just theimportance of celebrating one
another. So one thing that I was able to
pick up on all these amazing women that I have these group
calls with was that as creatives, we have come into a
lot of different situations where we have picked up on maybe
(03:26):
friends or family that just really, truly don't give the
support that we expect. And I don't know how many other
people are going through this. I know when I look at different
videos on TikTok and things of that nature, I see so many other
people who have actually stated that they are going through the
same things where they're not getting the support that they
(03:49):
expect that they feel that they would get from that friend or
that family member on all the different things that we're
working on. And how does that make you feel?
I know when I notice things likethat, it just gives you a level
of weirdness where you're wondering like, why is it that
my friend or I use the term loosely, but why is it that
someone that you consider a friend or even your family, they
(04:13):
just don't offer that support that you expect to get from
them? Now, mind you, I do feel that we
don't have to operate in the spirit of needing validation,
but let's be honest, I think maybe because we are all in this
social media world and we sit and watch people support
(04:37):
everyone. They support strangers, they
support that celebrity. They just, you know, they do all
these different things above andbeyond.
But you're sitting there like, wow, what about me?
You know, you start thinking about, you know, Essie and dream
girls. What about how I feel?
You know, so sometimes you just can't help but know this, that
those that, that applause that you expect to get from the
(05:00):
people close to you, it gets real quiet.
It gets real silent and you're wondering, hey, what is it about
what I'm working on that I'm notgetting that support from that
friend that I really thought wasgonna support my vision.
So there's a lot of things that takeaways that you can take from
(05:21):
that. Like some people, they may look
at it like, well, why do you need their validation?
Why do you need that applause orthat acknowledgement from your
friend? But here's the thing again, it's
not that you that is required ofthat friend, but if you have
someone that's close to you, someone that sees you, someone
(05:42):
that has maybe even seen you in your struggle and now you're out
of that struggle, what's the problem?
Wouldn't you expect them to be excited for you?
Wouldn't you expect them to celebrate your progress or
celebrate that accomplishment that you have now?
So in my call, one of someone that I really, really revered
(06:05):
that I think is a very special person.
She's currently written her first fiction novel.
So we were discussing some different things and just how
someone that she really value and entrusted just was not doing
what they were supposed to do asan editor for her vision.
And so when she was relaying these different things, I just
(06:26):
kept saying to myself, this isn't right.
So as I told her, you have to take #1 the friendship out of
this equation. Because if someone has your
vision, think about it, a book that you've written or a podcast
that you started or a magazine that you started or a movie that
you may be working on, this is your gift.
(06:49):
This is your baby. You wouldn't let anybody just
watch your child. So you should not just allow
anybody to have any type of justtouching your dream and
mishandling it. So as I mentioned to her, the
way I look at things, if my friend is writing a book, I
(07:10):
should look at my friend's book as if it's the next best seller.
Now, some people may disagree with that, but I would argue up
and down with you because again,if my friend doesn't celebrate
me, what does that say about ourfriendship?
Why aren't you encouraging my dream?
What is it that you don't value about my talent OR my gift that
(07:35):
is making it hard for you to acknowledge it?
And one of the things that we were able to think about and
just discuss and our call was also there's different roles and
friendships. And I know of people have
experienced this. Maybe sometimes this particular
friend, you're not accustomed toseeing them win possibly.
(07:59):
Or maybe you see that friend andyou may know they have these
different talents and they've just been kind of playing around
with it. But now they're manifesting,
they're investing, those dreams are starting to come true.
And sometimes, sometimes it seems like it's hard for people
(08:19):
to really see that friend walking in their light and
walking in their purpose. To me personally, that's a scary
thing. If you have somebody around you
that cannot celebrate, I just can't fathom that you're finally
(08:41):
walking into your purpose. That friend could really become
someone dangerous in your corner.
Just like we acknowledge and notcall.
And we know we've all heard thissaying, come on, let's put some
age on us right now. One bad apple will spoil the
whole bunch. We know how this goes.
(09:01):
If you're building on something special or if you're working on
your dream, you're trying to manifest, you're trying to grow.
What do you think that negative friend?
What power do you think that negative person can have over
your dream? Now, you may take it lightly,
but it's not to be taken lightlybecause the people that we have
(09:22):
in our circles, we look to thosepeople sometimes and we need
help when we need advice, when we need a pick me up, when we
just need support, we look to the people in our circle
sometimes. Think about it.
Has there been a time when you needed advice?
What are you gonna do? You'll go to one of your
friends, someone that you feel as an important person in your
(09:45):
life, someone that you value, someone that you think sees you.
You're reaching out to that friend for that advice.
So what do you think will happenif you're reaching out to
someone who you really, truly can't trust?
Do you think they're actually going to give you any
information that's really going to help you?
Do you think they're going to pour into you and speak into you
(10:08):
something that's going to exalt you?
Of course not, because they don't value you like that.
So again, who we have in our life matters.
We have to be mindful to #1 use discernment, but #2 make sure
that we really stop taking alignment lightly.
(10:30):
We have to make sure that we're aligned with the right people in
our lives. And I'm telling you, if we're
not aligned with the right people, those things can really
crush us. It can water down our dreams.
It can stop us from accomplishing great things.
It can do damage in our lives. Again, as we know, there's life
(10:54):
and death in the power of the tongue.
So if we have people around us who are not speaking positive
things into our life, who are not pouring positive things into
our life, what do you think the outcome will be?
We have to make sure that we're aligned with the right people.
The people in our circle matters.
(11:15):
So again, how do you feel when you're working on something
amazing? Did you take time to just really
see who acknowledges you, who celebrates you and who doesn't?
I think a lot of people, unfortunately, have been in
these situations where we'll be surprised that the people who we
(11:40):
really thought was gonna be in our corner, the person that we
really thought was gonna be thatcheerleader, they get radio
silent when that good thing happens.
And it's like, wait a minute, Like wait a minute, like I go
way back with this person. You know, this is my girl, This
is my girl from high school, or this is, you know, this is my
(12:02):
favorite cousin and this is my family.
Why aren't they acknowledging what I've worked on?
These are times where you have to really take time to assess
your relationships. And the sad part about it is
when you start assessing those relationships, sometimes you
(12:24):
start seeing things that you didnot want to see.
You start realizing that maybe that person who you thought was
your friend really is not the friend that you thought they
were. Maybe some of your, even some of
your family members you've revered have actually just been
doing nothing more than keeping that generational curse going.
(12:49):
They don't want to see you win. They don't want to see you get
out of a certain tax bracket. They don't want to see you get
out of a certain town. They don't want to see you
accomplish anything. And let's be honest, a lot of
our family members are biggest haters.
They're the main people who they're gonna sit back and watch
you. They're not gonna say a word.
(13:13):
And especially if you come from different families, and I know
what in my family, if you come from families that have
favorites, you're not supposed to be that one.
That's when, and that's really what they put in your mind.
They looking at you like, wait aminute, that's not the family
member who I thought was gonna make it happen.
So they're gonna make sure that they're not gonna celebrate you.
(13:34):
They're going to make sure that they do everything they can to
pour that generational curse. The nastiness, the stink, the
rotten flesh of those generational curses.
They want to pour it into you. They don't want to see you
dreaming. They don't want to see you
accomplishing anything. You're not supposed to be
(13:57):
growing. And I know it can hurt sometimes
because it's let's see if you'rethat person and let me, you
know, let me just put that out there.
Let's say you're that person whoyou really do cheer for other
people. You see the value in people.
If your friend accomplices something that's like you
accomplished it. So you're you're cheering as
(14:18):
loud as you can for them. You're so happy for them.
If you're that person, it reallystings when you notice that
someone's not giving that to you.
You're wondering, like, what is going on?
Why is it that a stranger is happier for me than my own
family member, than my own friend, than the people who I
(14:41):
value, the people who I pour into all the time?
Why is it that they're the most quiet?
They're the most silent ones when you've done something
great. But I want to offer this to you.
You have to remember to not allow these things to discourage
you. One thing that enemy is really
(15:04):
big on is putting that that thatwhole emotion of fear.
They want to put fear in you. The enemy wants you to be scared
to even celebrate yourself. The enemy wants you to second
guess yourself. The enemy also wants to make
sure you have a, a little, a little bit of imposter syndrome
(15:26):
in you. The enemy wants to make sure
that that imposter syndrome multiplies and gets bigger and
bigger and bigger. They want to make sure you're
stuck in that box. I recently did a TikTok where I
discussed a situation where I was mentioning that someone who
I really considered a friend, I was just telling her, you know
(15:47):
what, I just really want to leave.
I want to get out of Louisiana. I just want to get out of here.
I just want to just do somethingdifferent.
And she was like, girl, where? I mean, come on.
So one of the things I acknowledge is, you know what?
Some of the people who are in our corner, the people who you
really think will be there for you, the people who you really
(16:08):
think will just encourage you, some of those people in your
corner, they only want you to stay in a corner.
So you have to be very, very mindful #1 or who you even share
your dreams with, who you share your goals with.
Sometimes it's best to be silent.
You can't share these the good things with everybody.
(16:31):
You can't share what you got going on.
You can't share some of the things that you want to
accomplish with certain people. And some of us really do.
We know who those people are in our lives.
We know the coworker or the friend or the cousin or even
sometimes the parent that you cannot share that dream with
(16:52):
'cause all they gonna do is bring out the worst case
scenarios. I never forget.
I had a cousin one time and she said it so proudly to me.
She's like, you know what? I bring out worst case
scenarios. To each his own.
But for me, I really don't want someone bringing out worst case
scenarios. Again.
(17:12):
There's life and death in the power of the tongue.
So me personally, don't speak anything negative over anything
that I'm working on, over anything that I have in my
heart. Don't speak anything negative
over it. The world itself will show us
enough worst case scenarios. But I want people to pour into
me, to speak life into me, to speak life into my dream.
(17:35):
So tell me the best case scenario.
Tell me the best outcome that can happen if I go ahead and
start pursuing this dream. Tell me the best outcome that
can happen if I go ahead and tryto move to this new city.
I try to go ahead and start a new career, or if I want to go
(17:55):
ahead and finally try to write this book that I've been wanting
to write for a long time. You know, I'm a writer.
You know, I love to write. Pour some great things into me.
Pour something great into me. If I'm telling you, hey, I've
had dreams of being a filmmaker,I'm going to go ahead and get
that crew together. I'm going to work with some
other creatives and finally makethat short movie.
(18:17):
I want somebody to pour life into that.
Tell me the best case scenario. Tell me how it can work out.
Tell me how that book can be a bestseller.
Tell me how I can get that film produced and get it on different
networks. Tell me how I can build that
audience. Speak great things into me.
(18:37):
It's not asking that much to saythat we want people to speak
life into us. So I just want to encourage
people to just make sure that again, that you are your biggest
cheerleader. It is important to celebrate
ourselves. Let's not for one moment think
(18:58):
that we should not be celebrating ourselves.
And it's not arrogance, it's notnarcissism to celebrate
yourself, to acknowledge the great things that you're working
on, to speak life into yourself.It's not being selfish or being
a narcissist or being arrogant to just say, hey, I'm working on
(19:19):
something special. I'm going to pour life into me.
I've been in a dark place maybe in the past, but look where I am
now. It's OK to celebrate that.
Don't let anyone take those things away from you.
So yes, you should be your number one cheerleader no matter
what. However, you should have a
(19:42):
positive circle in your life. It's it's, it's imperative, it's
necessary because if you're working on something special,
you need people to speak life into you, to pour into you, to
encourage you, to celebrate thatwin, to remind you of how
special you are. Sometimes we have people in our
(20:03):
lives that actually see the potential that we have.
They see the potential in a greater perspective than you see
it. But some people in our lives, if
they really, really have sinister intentions, if they
really don't have any creative spirit in them, if they don't
have any gifts, they're betting on you not seeing your
(20:24):
potential. They're hoping you don't see how
great you are. They're hoping that you don't
notice how get that you truly are because if you don't notice
it, you won't outshine them. Maybe they're comfortable just
being in their space. Maybe they don't want to grow.
They don't want to do anything new.
(20:45):
They don't want to change anything about their lives.
So they're looking at you like, why are they trying to go ahead
and embark on this dream? Why are they trying to change
their finances for the better? Why are they trying to change
their appearance for the better?Who do they think they are?
How dare they step out and accomplish something phenomenal
(21:09):
when I'm not doing those things Now, do you think it's a good
thing to have people like that in your life?
Of course not. And I know that it does hurt
sometimes when you look at certain people in your life,
certain people in your circle. If you have people in your
circle and you start realizing, well, man, the season on this
(21:32):
relationship is starting to change.
Have you had some in some in your life for such a long time?
And we, we're big on that. We like to look at years.
We like to look at the quantity instead of the quality a lot of
times in our relationships. So when we have that friend that
we never thought would go away, it hurts sometimes when we start
(21:54):
looking at that person. Like you know what, they have
been doing a lot of sarcastic little, you know, snarky
comments when I talk about something great I have going on.
Gee, my friend has been real quiet when I was celebrating,
when I was happy over this accomplishment.
They they haven't said much. Why now, when you start noticing
(22:19):
that somebody close to you is, dare I say, a hater?
Let's be honest, we're all human.
Of course it hurts. It's natural to hurt.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that it hurts.
But you have to really do some some some work.
You gotta put some work in. And sometimes you have to
realize, well, you know what? I may have to end this
(22:42):
friendship. I may have to really look and
realize that, OK, this person who I thought was in position #1
as a friend, maybe they're just an associate.
Maybe this person who I really, really, really like to share
things with, her, I really thought is somebody that I
(23:03):
value, that values me. Maybe that person is a person
who is just simply the position of a person you just went to
school with, a person you just used to work with.
Maybe they're not necessarily the definition of what you
consider to be a friend. So again, sometimes we have to
really make sure we make assessments on who's in our life
(23:26):
because again, it's important when you're building something,
when you're working on somethingspecial, you do need the right
people around you. You do need the people that's
going to celebrate it. You do need the people that's
going to encourage you. You need the people that's going
to speak life into you. So there's nothing wrong with
being mindful and starting to assess who is in your life.
(23:49):
And again, there's a mourning period.
Sometimes it hurts because you're wondering like, man, this
is somebody who I really valued,who I loved as a friend.
And I'm starting to realize, well, you know, maybe that
person's a hater and maybe that person just doesn't value me.
Maybe that same person will celebrate 10 other people doing
the exact same thing that you'redoing.
(24:11):
And not only that, maybe some ofthem are even celebrating people
who are doing things that's not as great as what you're working
on. I noticed that mediocrity has a
bigger audience. Some people love mediocre
things. They love mediocre people
because in mediocracy, when theysee somebody that's doing
(24:33):
something mediocre, it's so easyfor them to gravitate towards
the mediocre. The mediocre doesn't have a
gift. The mediocre doesn't have the
same talent. The mediocre has no talent.
They're just spitting out thingsto be popular or to be well
liked. And like we all know in the word
(24:54):
masses, sometimes the M is silent.
So you take that as you will. So again, sometimes the
mediocre, they get the bigger applause they have the bigger
audience, they have the biggest applause that that that the
hyped up cheerleaders. Because being mediocre is is so
(25:17):
easy. We know how easy beating being
mediocre is. And that's something that we
have to really make sure that wedon't have these people in our
lives that rather celebrate mediocrity over greatness.
(25:37):
And one thing you have to be very mindful of as a gifted
person, you have to understand that the oil is expensive.
It's not cheap. So when you're a gifted person,
you have to remember that they're going to be some people
sometimes, but their whole mission, it's just to bring you
(25:58):
down. They don't want to celebrate
being gifted. They don't want a gifted person
to even manifest and accomplish great things.
They're stuck in their same stagnant world, but you're doing
all these different moves. You're accomplishing things.
(26:20):
Like I said, you're writing thatbook, you're being a creative,
you're influencing, you're starting that business.
The business is starting to grow.
You're bettering yourself. It's even showing in your
appearance. Your skin's glowing, your hair
looking fabulous. You're doing great things.
People can see it. They can seal it.
(26:42):
So when those things happen, that's when you gotta watch out.
Because when you start growing, when you start accomplishing
things, when you start manifesting, that's when you're
gonna see who's your cheerleaderand you're going to see who's
your hater. And that's when you have to
start making cuts accordingly. It's never a good thing to have
(27:06):
a hater around you. It's never a good thing to have
someone that just truly doesn't see your gift around you.
It's never a good thing. And here's the most dangerous
person, the person that sees howtalented you truly are, but
because they have insecurities or because they aren't gifted,
or because they just cannot grasp the same talent that you
(27:29):
have, these certain things come super easy to you.
This person is dangerous becausethey will see all the different
gifts that you have, but they'lldo their best to make sure that
you don't see it or they'll do everything they can in their
power to minimalize what you have going on.
(27:52):
They'll try to sweep it under the rug.
If you even present something great to them, they have
something small to say. We know like those friends.
Have you ever experienced those little friends that do those
little, those funny little jokes, those jokes that are at
your expense, the sarcastic friend, have you experienced
(28:13):
that before? Those are the most dangerous
people to have around you because they will break their
arms to not clap for you, to notgive you that applause 'cause
they don't want to see you win. They know that you're special.
They know that you're gifted. They know you got it going on,
(28:34):
girl, but they don't want you toknow that.
They don't want you getting too full of yourself.
They don't want you going out there and accomplishing
something phenomenal. They don't want you to be the
next best thing. These are the most dangerous
people to have around you. You have to really, really,
(28:56):
really be very cautious of who you align your circle.
Here is where discernment comes in.
Sometimes we have people around us.
They've made us uncomfortable. Some of them haven't really
hidden the fact that they're a hater or that there's somebody
who really, truly is not going to clap for you.
(29:18):
They haven't really hidden it because they've given you hints.
They put it out there. They put it out there and the
way that they didn't applaud foryou, but they applauded for the
next person that was doing something, if not the same
thing, something that wasn't even as good as what you were
working on. They've done it in the ways that
they went out of their way to not support you.
(29:40):
They've done it in the ways thatthey've even said some negative
things over you, but they said it in the form of a joke.
A joke to diminish you, a joke to put you down.
They've shown who they were. But again, if you're a loving
person, if you're someone that does not see the worst in
people, if you're a person that really, truly does try to see
(30:01):
the best in people, you've felt it.
Don't get me wrong, you know youfelt it, but you just didn't
want to believe that that personwas out there living like that.
So you continue to keep them around, but there's only so much
you can take. You can't have people like this
in your life. As you grow, as you begin to
(30:24):
climb, there's going to be some people that you have to leave
behind. There's going to be some people
that you're going to have to letgo of.
And here's the thing, too, there's going to be some people
who naturally fall off. They're not going to be there
for you. I know when I started Go Queen,
(30:45):
I don't have the same people that have been in my circle now
in 2025 that I had in my circle in 2019 when I first started.
This growth disturbs some people.
Sometimes when you're growing, it starts to stir up some things
and people that just really, they just couldn't see you
(31:08):
accomplishing certain goals. You had a goal for hire.
They had a goal for you as well.The goal they have for you was
that they just didn't want you to get too high.
Don't get too full of yourself. Don't, don't do this.
Don't link up with this person. Don't grow.
Don't make something amazing. They wanted you to be mediocre
(31:29):
at the end of the day. They didn't think that book that
you were going to do was going to be that good.
You talked about filming this movie for a long time.
Now that now that you've done it, that's not what they were
expecting. They thought you were going to
be just like them. Some people do a lot of talk and
no action. I remember years ago when I was
in payroll had these friends, wewould talk all the time about
(31:52):
how we didn't really care for this job or we should all start
a business. Those friends are still there.
These are people I was working with way back in the day in like
2017 or so. They're still there.
Some people do a lot of talk. So when you actually act on what
you've been putting out there, what you've been manifesting,
(32:15):
when you're starting to see the fruits of your labor, they truly
cannot comprehend. How is it that she actually made
this happen while I've only beenjust sitting here talking?
I've just been running my mouth,blowing hot air, just saying
things just to say them. But she actually started putting
(32:37):
a plan in place. She started acting on the things
that she said that she was goingto do, and she actually
accomplished them. And she's still accomplishing
those things. Some people can't fathom how you
were able to do that. And sometimes we don't realize
in our friends circles that we may have a friend who they just
(33:00):
don't see you being that person.They don't see you being that
girl. They don't see you being that
entrepreneur, that creative, that influencer, that filmmaker.
They just don't see you. They didn't see that in you.
They didn't think that I've out of all the people that they know
(33:21):
that you of all people would be the one to accomplish some great
things. So they just simply don't like
it. Again, if you're trying to build
something, if you have it on your mind that you want to focus
and be great, you have to be very mindful of who is around
(33:41):
you, who is in your circle. Discernment and alignment.
Those need to be your partners on how you choose to operate in
your life and your relationshipsand your business, professional
relationships and everything in your life.
Discernment in alignment go handin hand.
(34:05):
You have to use that discernmentto make sure that you are not
letting the wrong people in yourlife.
If something feels off, take it from the very beginning.
It feels off for a reason because this person is not
supposed to be around you. God sends us signs.
He sends us that Spidey sense all the time.
(34:27):
But sometimes we just want to give people the benefit of the
doubt. We just don't want to believe
that people are like this, but they are.
Alignment's important. Don't be so desperate to have
people around you to the point where you'll let any old body
around you. You'll share anything with
(34:48):
somebody because you're desperate to have a friend or
just desperate to have another person near you.
Don't have that desperation. Make sure that you're aligned
with the right people. It's important.
It's necessary. Being around the wrong people
can cost you your life. It can cost you your dream.
(35:08):
It can rob your spirit. It can take away from the
excitement and the joy that you have in your life.
The light that's in you being aligned with the wrong people,
well dim that light that you have.
So make sure that everything in your life is true alignment.
(35:29):
Every person in your life is true alignment.
Every assignment, every purpose,everything that you're working
on is in alignment for great things.
You have to be very mindful on who you allow into your life.
So again, as we were discussing different things in our previous
(35:50):
pink Ring called us about sometimes those friends and
families are quiet. One of the beautiful members of
our group, she mentioned also with social media, social media
has a way of showing you your haters.
It shows you your biggest hatersand it also shows you your
(36:10):
biggest fans. So isn't that crazy?
But social media is such an evilthing.
It's it's like a necessary evil because of course, if you're
building something, unfortunately we live in a world
they'd look at your social mediaactivity.
Also, social media started off as something where people, you
(36:31):
know, they went on there to share things.
You know, you want to go ahead and highlight something great
that's happening. You want to just share it with
your friends. You're thinking that, oh, it's
nothing you share with your friends and family.
You don't think it's going to bethat big of a thing just to
share these different things with people.
But what the the current times have shown us, it's that social
media will show you who your critics are.
(36:53):
It'll show you who the people are who really are around you
who are actual haters. It also will show you people
around you that really, truly, genuinely like what you're
doing. They respect you, they see what
you have going on. They know the highs and lows
that you've gone through and they're more than happy to
celebrate you. But here's the thing, do not get
(37:18):
wrapped up in social media validation.
So again, I know if you're working on something special,
you're building, you're trying to build an audience across
social media is the easy medium to build an audience.
That is what is there for. But don't allow some of the
people who are on there with a, with a different purpose to
(37:39):
deter you to just break you down.
Don't allow that to happen. Some of the things I had to do
personally, I had to remove a lot of friends and family off my
social media. Mel Robin said it best.
Your social media, it really isn't for your friends and
family. If you're trying to build
something, you want to pull in those people who see you in a
(38:03):
fresh light. You want fresh new people to
connect with on that social media.
Social media really is your basefor your new clients.
It's for your networking, it's for your new audience.
It's to build, it's to grow. So when you take out the
negativity of social media and remove those negative people,
(38:26):
you're free on that social media.
You're not feeling some type of way when you post something that
you've worked on and oh, cousin so and so or auntie, yadda
yadda. Don't acknowledge it.
Are the the the person that you know you know since the 3rd
grade, but you haven't seen themsince you were seven, but you'd
(38:47):
have them on your social media. Why are we allowing people like
this to hold weight into our lives?
We gotta really think about thissometimes.
Use that social media to network.
Use that social media to build. If they're on there and they're
just being a monitoring spirit, just lurking and giving you all
(39:12):
this negative energy that you can feel.
You can feel negative energy when people really aren't
aligned and they don't have the right intentions.
You can feel that negative energy.
You can feel it even through your social media.
You can feel that you have people on there that's not for
you. You can tell they give off this
(39:34):
energy. Energy doesn't lie.
Sometimes you have to bless people and block them or at
least mute them, get them out ofyour life.
Think about it. If you're on the job, are you
going to bring your negative cousin with you to work?
Are you going to take your negative cousin with you on the
(39:54):
next work project? Are you going to bring your
negative cousin with you and introduce your negative cousin
to your manager? To your friends, to your
clients. Are you going to bring that
negative cousin with you on yournext business meeting?
Of course not. So sometimes you have to look at
that on your social media. Am I going to bring this person
that I've known since 3rd grade,but I haven't seen them in
(40:17):
decades? Am I going to bring them to my
job? Are you going to even bring them
in your house? So why are you sharing things
that are special and important to you with them?
Come on, let's think about this.You have to remove people and
not have any type of guilt behind it.
(40:39):
You have to start living unapologetically.
There's nothing wrong but makingsure your circle is tight.
There's nothing wrong with making sure sure that your
circle is right. So start looking at the people
that's in your life and start thinking smart.
(41:00):
Start using your intelligence, start using your discernment to
make sure that you have the right people around you.
Now, mind you, as I said, there's just gonna be some
people in your life that just not going to cheer for you.
It doesn't matter what you do. They're not gonna give you that
applause. They're not going to give you
(41:20):
that Gold Star. They're not going to acknowledge
you. And that's OK.
It doesn't mean that what you'reworking on isn't great.
It doesn't mean you aren't gifted.
It doesn't mean you aren't talented.
You steal all of those things. You are that girl, and don't you
forget that. But don't allow somebody who
(41:43):
sees who you are and there's silence to just change You don't
let it stir your spirit. Don't let it discourage you.
Don't let it second guess you. Don't let their silence silence
you. Don't stop.
Don't stop writing because of them.
(42:07):
Don't go ahead and say, hey, I'mjust going to stop working on
this because of them. Don't put that manuscript to the
side because of them. Don't put that screenplay to the
side because of them. Don't put that business idea to
the side because of them. Don't put those fitness goals to
(42:28):
the side because of them. Don't put that vision board to
the side with all the beautiful places that you want to visit
because of them. Don't put it to the side because
of them, because of their silence.
You can do great things. You're already doing great
(42:49):
things and you deserve all the applause you can get.
You deserve all the flowers thatyou can receive.
You deserve to know that you area big deal.
You are that girl. You're making things happen.
You've come a long way. You've gone over so many
(43:10):
different hurdles. You've fought depression.
You've fought imposter syndrome.You fought A generational curse.
You've fought past trauma. You've fought past bullying.
You fought past people whose mission it was to just bring you
(43:30):
down. You fought past all of that.
And look at you. Look where you are now.
Look at all the things you've accomplished.
Look at who you're becoming. Don't allow anybody to push you
in a corner. Don't allow someone who is in
your corner but only want you tostay in your corner to bring you
(43:53):
down. Let that silence speak more
about the type of people that they are, not who you are.
Make sure that when they don't give you that applause, when
they don't give you those flowers.
When you see them acknowledging the next person doing the same
thing you're doing. When you see them going out of
(44:14):
their way to acknowledge that celebrity.
When you see them going out of their way to acknowledge that
other family member, when you see them going out of their way
to acknowledge that other classmate, when you see them
going out of their way to just acknowledge everyone, but you
(44:35):
make sure that you remember thatit says more about them than
you. Again, you're doing great
things. You're making things happen, and
for the people that don't applaud you, there are people
that will give you the same applause.
They're applauding you right now.
(44:56):
They're waiting to see when you're coming out with that next
book. They want to know when you have
that next podcast episode comingout.
They want to know when's the next magazine issue, when's the
next screenplay coming out? When's your next video coming
out? When's your next project coming
(45:17):
out? When are you having that next
event? They're waiting on you.
When's that next block coming out?
They're waiting on you. They support you, they see you,
they love you. Just remember the people who are
silent, don't allow them to stopyou.
(45:40):
They don't matter. Sometimes you have to really
roll up your sleeves and stick out your chest and even
incorporate that I don't care attitude.
I don't care about who's not acknowledging me.
I don't care about these people.I don't need their validation
because I'm a do great things regardless.
I'll do great things in spite of.
(46:02):
So just remember when that silence gets really loud from
the people who you thought wouldbe that big cheerleader, it is
OK. Let them.
Let them stay over there. Let them keep that negative
energy over there. Let them keep that messiness and
that, that, that, that, that, that unsupportive spirit that
(46:24):
they have that hate and spirit. Let them keep it way over there
because you have a purpose that you're working on.
You have a mission and what you're working on is too big to
worry about them. So again, don't be afraid to
block. Don't be afraid to move on.
Don't be afraid to cut ties. Don't be afraid to meet, keep on
(46:48):
doing what you're doing 'cause again, you're accomplishing
great things. I applaud you.
The people who truly love you. Applaud you.
The people who know how talentedyou are, applaud you.
And you cannot afford to give upnow.
So make sure you accomplish those great things.
(47:10):
Keep on moving forward, keep on dreaming, keep on manifesting,
keep on being that girl 'cause I'm telling you, you got it
going on. You're doing some amazing things
and this is not the time to stop.
Don't let anybody make their silence bury you.
(47:32):
Don't let anybody throw their negativity on you to the point
that you're starting to believe in you know who you really are.
I never forget my favorite scenein Black Panthers when T'challa
was on that that mountain and hewould think he was getting the
best of them and his mom. The queen said.
Show them who you are, show yourself who you are.
(47:56):
Show up for yourself. You are doing great things.
Their silence doesn't matter. Thank you again for just taking
in these words and I do pray that this message reaches the
right person and again, their silence doesn't matter.
(48:18):
You keep on accomplishing great things, She's.
A queen about a business, working hard on a mission, head
high purpose driven, crown on, never tilted, go quick.
(48:44):
She's a queen about a business, working hard on a mission, had
high purpose, driven crown on, never tilted.
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
(49:15):
Go queen, go queen. Go queen.
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
(49:37):
She's a queen of thy. Biz working hard on me.
Head hop upstream. Go.
Queen, go. Queen, go Queen.
(50:00):
Go queen. Go queen, go queen.
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