The Q-Chat Ep. 215 Geaux Reclaim Your Power: Telesa Wright on Breaking Cycles & Building Legacy

In this powerful episode of The Q-Chat, we’re joined by the dynamic Telesa Wright—Luxury Certified Real Estate Broker, Certified Elevation Coach, award-winning author of Look Back For What, and founder of the healing movement Patio Conversations. Telesa opens up about her journey of confronting past trauma, releasing abandonment wounds, and reclaiming her identity with boldness and grace.

Through transparency, purpose, and truth, she shares how she turned pain into power and continues to create judgment-free spaces for women to rise. Whether you're on a healing journey or redefining your worth, this conversation will remind you that you don’t have to look back to validate your power.

It’s time to Geaux reclaim your power.

• The meaning behind her powerful book Look Back For What

• How Telesa turned trauma and abandonment into purpose and empowerment

• Reclaiming identity after shame and emotional wounds

• The heart and mission behind Patio Conversations and its national impact

• Why healing isn’t optional if you want to break generational cycles

• How she balances roles as a real estate broker, coach, speaker, and author

• The mindset shift every woman must make to rise with intention

• Her definition of self-love—and how it evolved through her journey

• Advice to her younger self and women still carrying their past

Connect with Shronda at ⁠www.geauxqueen.com⁠ for podcast episodes, magazine features, Pink Reign calls, and in-person empowerment events in Dallas. And remember: Geaux reclaim your power. Geaux walk in your truth. And most importantly—Geaux love ya’self. 💗👑

Follow for weekly conversations on self-love, healing, and empowerment.

Visit: ⁠⁠⁠www.geauxqueen.com⁠⁠⁠ IG: ⁠⁠⁠@iam_geauxqueen⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠@theqchat_podcast⁠⁠

Episode Transcript

(00:26):
Thank you guys for joining another episode of the Key Chat.
I have a very special guest today.
Her name is Miss Talisa Wright and she is an author and a real
estate mogul. She's an elevation coach.
She does so much for the community in Memphis, TN.
And we're going to talk about self love, of course, her
journey and we're definitely going to dive into her book,

(00:47):
which is called Look Back for What.
And we also going to talk about something important about how we
can honor the little girls that we used to be.
So we're just going to have a nice conversation and of course,
chop it up about our favorite topic on the platform, which is
self love. How are you doing today?
I'm doing amazing. Thank you so much for asking.
I'm excited to be with you. Awesome.

(01:10):
And I'm excited to have you. Thank you so much for being on
the platform. And I know you also have the
patio conversation, so many things like I said, that you are
doing. But I wanted to start off by
asking you about the book. Of course, look back for what
and we'll of course talk about your upbringing and your
beginnings. But I wanted to start off
initially about the book and what inspired you to write it.

(01:34):
Girl, honestly, I started writing it kind of like an AS,
as a journal, you know, like it wasn't meant to be a book.
It wasn't meant to even share. It started out as me trying to
heal me, you know, And so I just, the title came because I
decided I'm like, the only way I'm going to get better, the
only way I'm going to move forward is if I look back and

(01:58):
see where all of this came from,where these insecurities develop
when I became just kind of a walking ball of trauma.
When did this happen? You know, so that I can address
and that, as you said, like the little girl so that I can help
the little girl so that I can bethe woman that I felt like I was
designed to be. So that's kind of the

(02:20):
inspiration behind it is just for me personally to heal.
But I think that once I got intoit, I realized that it was
bigger than me, you know, that there were there were many women
that were, you know, kind of in the same shoes that were going
through broken relationships, that were having issues with
their children and, you know, and their friends and family.

(02:41):
And it's hard to admit for sometimes, but sometimes it's
not them. It's it's us, you know, you
know, dealing with things from abroken place, you know, and, and
we assume that there are no goodmen when in fact, they're just
triggering. You know, this is not the men we
need healing. We raise our children in trauma.

(03:03):
We're scared that they're going to go through things that we
went through. And we don't even realize why we
respond the way we respond to the things until we start to
look back. So.
So yeah. I just realized it was bigger
than me and then decided to keepwriting.
It took nine years because again, every time I thought I
was healed, start writing about something I had to heal all over

(03:26):
again. I was still, you know, dealing
with things that I thought that were done and over with.
But it was a process that that it's just raw, real and
authentic is all of me. I tell people before they read
it, make sure you're ready because it'll tear down the
image that you or the ideals that you, you know, built around

(03:50):
me and who I am and what I do and why I do it.
And you read that book, you know, So.
So that's why I was scary. Yeah, You know, you touched on a
lot, though, how you mentioned just when you go through trauma,
and I definitely understand raising your children and fear
raising them from the lens of trauma.

(04:11):
Just just a lot of things when we go through trauma, how we'll
be broken pieces. And one of the things I think
when you're on a journey of healing is the hard reality that
it's not always the other person.
And that doesn't necessarily mean, let's say the person on
the other end has wrongdo. It doesn't take away from that.

(04:31):
But it is our responsibility on how we navigate through those
things. And it's kind of an unfair task
in a sense because some of us have gone through things that we
didn't obviously ask to go through, especially at times in
our lives where we weren't able,you know, to defend ourselves.
So there's that piece. But when we realize that we

(04:53):
deserve better, that's when you have to start going through all
the pain that you went through and just realizing, okay, I
still want to be a better me. So even if the next person is
wrong or even if this situation is unfair, I want to figure out
a way where I can get through this, you know, so you don't
lower yourself. So I definitely understand where

(05:13):
that's coming from. If you don't mind what you like
to share just how your upbringing was.
Because again, I just feel like,you know, as adults, especially
as adult women, when we start growing and evolving and just
seeing ourselves, you know, especially once we hit past age
40, we just start to, yes, look at ourselves and just see what
we can fix, what we can do better.

(05:35):
As I said, just to really make that little girl proud.
And when you start looking through our lives and everything
really does go back to the core,the origin, our childhood.
So can you give us some background just on your
upbringing and how was your childhood?
I was just saying today to one of my friends that I can't even

(05:55):
really say I had a childhood perSE, which is the reason why I am
bent on not working until I'm 60.
I'm going to retire early because I have been working my
entire life, entire life, you know?
And so the moment I could get a job, I was getting a job before
I could get a job. I was doing little things here
and there to try to make ends meet.

(06:16):
But I grew up with a single mom.My dad was married.
So that was a very stressful situation because, you know,
obviously there was nothing I can do to be to control being
born into a situation like that.But my family was very
religious, you know, which in turn kind of made me kind of an
abomination to the family. I say kind of because that's

(06:37):
just perspective. I don't look at myself like an
abomination. But that's kind of, you know,
Pentecostal background. It's like you, you, I wasn't
supposed to be here. And so, you know, because my, my
again, my dad was married and hewas older.
My mom was only 13 when she got pregnant with me.

(06:57):
And you know, in this day and time of a 20 some year old man
get a 13 some it's his fault. But in that day and time, it was
her fault. And so she, you know, had me and
I just brought a lot of stress, which is the reason why I stand
on that structure that talks where the prayer of Job is.

(07:19):
It's one of my favorite scriptures.
And I know it's a weird one. I didn't always share this, but
his name meant pain. And when I heard the story of
it, I said, gosh, that's me. I am pain.
I cause pain in my stepmom. I cause pain to my mom, my
grandma having to deal with the teen mother, my dad.
Everybody's reminded. My family's reminded of

(07:43):
something that wasn't supposed to happen when they see me, that
I say, God, oh, that you would bless me, that you would enlarge
my territory. You know that you would make me
great. I don't know if I deserve it,
but this is my request. So I heard that prayer and I
pray that prayer over my life almost every day.
From the moment I heard it, because my life wasn't easy.

(08:04):
I was like, I knew that I causedpain.
I could tell when I'm in the environment, you can feel the
energy that I made things uncomfortable.
Everybody went to church together.
Both of my grandmother's, my both of my parents, my stepmom
and my aunties, the whole both sides of my family were in this
church. So I used to have these

(08:26):
recurring dreams over and over, and I didn't know what it meant
until I was an adult. But I had these dreams when I
was a kid and I would always be sitting in this green car and
everybody would be passed on thecar, but I was in the back seat.
I was dead and I had drowned andnobody noticed.
I didn't have no idea what that meant at the time, but it was

(08:46):
just constant. I had to dream all the time and
I knew what it meant. You know, as an adult, I'm like,
I was drowning in my daily, you know, as a child, I had concerns
that the average child wouldn't have.
And nobody saw me. Nobody saw me.
I was just kind of there and hustle and bustle.
It would be like Easter Sunday where everybody would be at

(09:06):
church, but nobody noticed that I was dead.
And, you know, and in a physicalsense, I wasn't dead, but I
really was dead on the inside because I was AI was a a
troubled little child, you know,like, I had worries and concerns
and I knew I wasn't supposed to be here.
And so my mom was single and shewas trying to raise, you know,

(09:26):
raise us, but she was also manicdepressive.
So she really couldn't get out of the bed a lot of days.
So I had to take care of my siblings and, you know, and
myself. So I always say that when people
say, girl, you are old lady. Like I've been old for a long
time and I was raised by grandmothers, you know, like,
well, my, my mom's mom for the most part is where I would find

(09:48):
my safety. It wasn't perfect, but I would
know that she was there whenevershe was in the same place my
whole life. She never moved around like I
did like me and my mom did. We moved every six months if it
wasn't three months, because sometimes we get kicked out
before six months, we're up. But I was used to six months.

(10:10):
And that's what I mean by thingsfollowing you in your life.
I got married and my husband's like, why do you always want to
move? And I didn't even think about
that. Like it's not like I want to
move, but I'm trying to move. So there's a lease up.
It's time to go. And he said, why do we have to
go? I don't know.
The lease is up, he said, but wecan re sign.

(10:34):
He grew up in the in the same house his entire life, so he was
completely different for me. He's like, why do we have to
move? He didn't understand me and I
really didn't understand him either.
That's why our book is called Worth It, because we had to come
together. And he was a healing point for
me because he asked me questions.

(10:56):
Nobody ever asked me. He noticed things that nobody
noticed. And he had the patience of job,
which you'd had to to be with me, especially in the beginning.
So that's why I said we have to look back to figure out why we
do what we do because my husbandhas some really, really good

(11:17):
questions. And sometimes I would get upset
about those questions because I didn't know the answer.
But when I started searching myself, I could back it,
identify it. It's like, you know, for an
example, I'm washing dishes, minding my business, and my
husband walks up behind me and he lovingly reaches for me and I
turn around and I just start yelling at him.

(11:38):
Like, I mean really? I know I probably traumatized
them. And he said what happened?
What did I do? And I said, you made me mad.
He said, I see that, but I'm trying to understand why I made
you mad. And it was a good question, but
I didn't know the answer to it. So then I go in my room and I'm
crying because I'm so upset. And I asked God, why am I
responding like that? Why did I get so upset?

(12:01):
And turns out the more I, you know, searched myself, I
realized it's like I didn't feelin control.
I felt like a little child who was being touched against her
will and didn't have any controlover it.
But instead of responding like Iwould have as a child and been
quiet, I responded as a child and an adult.

(12:23):
No, you know, like, why am I yelling at him for doing what a
loving husband does? It's because he caught me off
guard. It wasn't the touch, it wasn't
him. It was the off guard and the
feeling, lack of control. And so then we came up with a
plan and he said, well, I'll announce myself.
And I worked for years. And then before you knew it, he

(12:44):
didn't need to announce himself,you know, but a lot of times
people won't have that type of patience with you.
They just say you're crazy and they're out, you know, So but
but him, he asks the right questions and make me ask myself
the right questions. And then we came up with a
resolve and years later, it's not an issue, Right, Right.

(13:05):
Yeah. So.
Do you think that an experience too?
And I know like, that's part of generational curses and I know
like, times were different back then.
And unfortunately, that's honestly a common tale of young

(13:26):
women, young babies becoming mothers by older adult males,
especially because I grew up in a religious background too.
That's an unfortunate like taboo, unspoken subject that has
taken place. Do you think like you carried a
lot of that generational trauma?Because she, I mean, if you
know, we're looking at it now and to 2025, like she was

(13:48):
assaulted basically. So look, do you think you
carried that trauma? And you know, back then our
parents didn't get therapy or counselling or anything like
that. So and as you said, she dealt
with a lot of mental stress. So Can you imagine like she was
dealing with untreated trauma? So do you think you internally
carried that over? Because I know you already had

(14:10):
to unfortunately deal with just the stigma already with your
conception, but do you think youmaybe subconsciously carry her
pain? Oh yeah, oh, definitely.
Oh, Oh my gosh. When I was when I was a child, I
feel like I, it was unfair to mehow much per pain I carry and I
had felt responsible and accountable for her.

(14:32):
There's a lot of things I missedout on because I feel like if I
came back, she may not, you know, because she, she was
severe, severely depressed. I will walk in the door
sometimes from school and she would be in the in the room.
And as I was talking to her whenI was ready to release my book
because I didn't want my book tocatch her off guard.
And I asked her was she ready before I put it out there?

(14:55):
And she said, of course, she said, I, I hate that you even
noticed a lot of that. She said, but it ain't you.
You're not lying. So if that's what you need to do
for you, for you, you know, go ahead, you know, and it's going
to help people. And I told her that one day
she'll get a chance to tell her story.

(15:50):
She had been raped by him when she was a child, you know, too
many times to so she was she wouldn't she couldn't defend
herself, but she was going to defend me with her life, you
know, so and so my mom was just like severely depressed and I
carried that. I I went to school, waited, you
know, I went to school sad for her.

(16:13):
And then she'd always be in these relationships where men
were fighting her. So, you know, even as school
kids thought that I was scared and quiet, but I was fighting
grown men at home, honey, I did not have time to be dealing with
no little child already knew I could you know, because I I have
plenty of practice with adults. So, you know, my mom definitely

(16:34):
raised me in her trauma. And I realized that I was
nothing like my mom in a sense. But as my book discloses, I was
a lot like her in a lot of ways with my children.
I didn't want my kids to get, you know, touched.
So I was with my kids can talk to me.
But they told me you're a helicopter parent.

(16:55):
And I was like, what in the world is a helicopter parent?
They're like, Mama, you're always there.
You're like always like right there.
And I said it's better than the alternative.
Nobody was there for me, nobody was there for any events.
Nobody was there to protect me. So I will protect with my life.

(17:16):
And so, but that was trauma and those kids were tired of it.
They like, we want to go spend the night with somebody and I'm
like not on my watch. If y'all want to spend the night
with somebody, bring them over here, you know, so then we can
know the environment. But I do believe that whether
it's in our souls or whether it's in our spirit or if it's

(17:37):
just, you know, in our natural lives, we pass those things down
and we have to acknowledge. I told my kids, each one of
them, I apologize for this in particular that I'm aware of.
I apologize for being passive aggressive about your clothes.
You know, I apologize for, you know, my daughter, for instance,

(17:57):
I had my daughter at I was pregnant at 13, had my daughter
at 14. My mom was so dependent on men
that they didn't have to have anything.
She just wanted a man. My daughter was nice enough to
buy her boyfriend a ticket to a game.
And it triggered me. And I went off and I said, do
you want to be like your grandmalike these with the women in

(18:17):
this family where you take care of men?
And I was just so upset and I had to go back.
And I told her, I said, you tried to do something nice.
And it triggered me because I remember my mom bought a man's
shoes and we didn't have school clothes.
And I didn't understand it. And so there are these little
things that happen in our life and it just triggers us.

(18:39):
And we're not even aware. And we think that we went out
for a good reason. There was absolutely no reason
under the sun where I should have yelled at my daughter like
that and made her feel like she was listening because she
thought she was doing a good deed.
She's a teenager. She is not somebody she was
planning on marrying. He was broke.
That's what teenagers are, you know?
So there's just a lot that, you know, I could go on and on about

(19:04):
the things that I did. I would have never like in my
book, I would have never left mykid behind because I feel like
at 8 years old, nine years old, you should be helping your kids
pick their clothes out, especially if you're not going
to take them with you because ofwhat they're wearing.
My mom chose to leave me behind and I had my first panic attack
because I couldn't get my clothes right, you know, So then

(19:27):
that's what I was telling people.
That's where the perfectionist came from.
I had to dig deep and figure outwhy am I like this?
Why do I change clothes 87 times?
And I started to do that this morning.
And I said, no, it's Lisa. You're not doing this.
I've got because I've gained so much weight, you know, the
cortisol because of things. And so I put on 57 outfits and
still not feel comfortable in myskin.
And I say, you're not doing this.

(19:47):
Put an outfit on and go out thatdoor.
But for the longest over years, I've changed so many times
because I've never felt like I look good enough.
But then I realized I said it's it's all goes back to me not
looking good enough to go with my mom, to go with my grandma
for them saying just stay here now for my kids, what they look

(20:10):
like was me saying to them, are you going to wear that?
I'm not going to leave them behind, but I'm going to make
them feel a way about the outfit.
But I did too good of a job withmy children though, because
they'll say something like real responses.
Yes, my daughter said to me whenshe had on all those different

(20:31):
patterns, I'm comfortable and I like myself in this.
So yes, I'm going to wear this and go on about her business.
Me, I would have went changed ifsomebody said that to me, my
son, why should I be uncomfortable in my space for
other people? That's his response to me.
And I thought, I guess that's a good question.
And I left and be and my, my older son was getting a

(20:53):
gazillion awards and one day allI could think about is why does
this kid have on cargo pants andeverybody else have on black and
white? He's wearing cargo pants.
I even took the suit to try to convince him he was like, but
why do I care? He's getting most likely to
succeed, most likely to be president, top of his class.
He's getting all these awards. And I couldn't even focus in on

(21:13):
the awards. All I saw was him going up there
in those cargo pants every time they call his name.
And so that was my trauma, worried about what other people
would think of my kids and what they would think of me because
of how my kids are dressed passed on.
And so now I'm like, no, they need to be free if that's what

(21:35):
they're comfortable with. I need to accept that as long as
they're clean and, you know, nothurting anybody.
So what if their patterns don't go together?
You know, so it's, it's just, it's little things, but we also
traumatize our children, you know, just then it's, it's just
a different way. My kids are just built better

(21:57):
than me though, when when I was a child, you know?
And I wanted to ask you too. And I like you say your children
not were built better than you, which, you know, is the case
with all our kids, you know, thank God.
But as you said, like we carry that trauma and as parents,
we'll be like, you know, I'm notgonna do the same things but

(22:19):
will do it, like you said, in another way of fashion.
And it's still unfair, like whenyou carry those generational
purses because it causes you're not allowed to just enjoy being
a parent. I feel like the average person
because you have this stress andyou're feeling like all these
bad things that aren't happeningcan happen to your kids.
So you just have this extra amount of fear, you know, so

(22:43):
you're raising your children through fear and it's so much
stress and anxiety and you pass that stress and anxiety to your
children. And then you're already trying
to make yourself whole and unpack the past and not pass
trauma to your children. And then you realize you've
passed trauma to your children, but as you said, just in a
different uniform. So that's how generational

(23:05):
trauma works. You know, like we may not do the
exact same thing that the peopleahead of us there, behind us
there, but we'll still do it in another way.
So that's the unfortunate part of generational curses.
But I want to ask you as well. I know you mentioned just going
back to something you mentioned with your husband about, you
know, not renewing leases and moving a lot.

(23:25):
And ironically, you also work inreal estate.
So is that something that you think LED you to your career?
Because when you said that I'm like, wow, and you work in real
estate. So that's just something that
you make it something the fulfillment out of by placing
people in homes and things like that.
Like, how did you get into your real estate journey?
Well, my, like I said, it's not really fancy.

(23:46):
The I was a stay at home mom. My husband was a realtor, you
know, he's, he comes from a line, you know, so it was just
kind of natural for him to be inreal estate.
And I was a stay at home mom andI was just, you know, helping
him. I, I told him I was his free
secretary, but I enjoy doing it because it was something other
than dealing with the kids. But girl, I got into real estate

(24:09):
because he asked me to go on this one trip with him.
He says in California, it was very common for the moms to be
at home in the meant because it was just so expensive to have
other people take care of your children.
Very expensive. So it's just made sense for one
parent to be at home. And in California, that could be
the dad. Whoever's making the most money
is the one that would go make the money.
And so Benjamin was showing a house to this couple, and he

(24:35):
says, I don't understand what's happening, babe.
He said, you got to you. You have a good read on people.
Can you go with me on this appointment to see what I'm
missing? Because I leave the appointment.
They want to make an offer. And then by the time I get to
the car, good, he's calling and saying, this one isn't it.
I'm not sure what's happening. So I go with him.
And it doesn't take me any time to figure out that he's selling

(24:55):
the house to the wrong person. I said, do you buy houses?
You you may pay for them, but you're not actually buying
anything. If that house doesn't work for
me and these children, that house is not going to be lived
in. You have to look at it this way
for them. She doesn't have any money and
she is not on that pre approval letter, but she's the one with

(25:16):
the power and you're selling him.
So he says yes and she gets in the car and says it's not
working. So that's what's happening.
You got to figure out what's important to her.
And I said I can tell you withinlike 10 minutes what's important
to her. She wants to be able to look out
the window and see her children plan while she's doing whatever
she's doing in the kitchen. She wants a bedroom space that's
big enough for her to sleep in there and relax a little bit.

(25:38):
And she want a open space. Like she doesn't care about the
the secondary bedrooms or any ofthat.
She doesn't care about the valuegoing up, which is my husband.
He would think like that. She doesn't care about the the
potential investment. She just cares about her being
able to function in this house. And so he changed what he was
doing and he directed it towardsher and he sold in my house

(26:01):
right away. And so then he started saying,
can you go with me on these? You know, now I got another
couple. I said, so then we were me and
my boys will go to the, you know, the Starbucks was right
next to his office. We would go to Starbucks and run
by the office. And, and his broker said, you
know, Pullman to the side and said to Lisa, you need to get
your real estate license becauseyou're selling real estate and

(26:22):
you're going to get us sued. And I said, I'm not selling real
estate. I just go with him.
She said, honey, you're selling real estate and you're really
good at it, Just get your license.
And so I thought and babysit youreally should get your license.
So I took the test pass the first time and I didn't think I
was going to sell real estate, just got the license and

(26:43):
realized I really was good at it.
So kind of fell into real estate.
And I, and it's funny you said that though, because I love
interior design and decorating and houses and floor plans and
things like that. So I do get to live vicariously
through my people so I don't have to be moving around my
furniture. That's why I got into interior
design because my mother-in-law said, see, maybe you should

(27:06):
consider doing interior decorating so you can stop
changing your house out so much.Because every time she came
there, I was either switching out couches, but I was just
always switching up. It was just, and all of that was
because I was used to change andmy brain couldn't operate

(27:27):
properly without changing things.
So I started decorating and thatfulfilled that I could change
other people's faces. So I do feel like that's one of
the reasons why I'm really good at it is because I like the
movement, the constant movement.I buy houses with my clients.
That's what I tell them when they say, I guess it's to do.

(27:47):
No, it won't because we're not buying the biggest, we're not
going to buy the biggest purchase you're you'll ever make
with a, it'll do. We're buying this house
together. So I'm not selling you anything.
I'm buying it with you. So we all, I got a, my client
found a house yesterday that's been looking for a while and
maybe we were celebrating together.
Like we move it in together, right?

(28:09):
Because I do feel like, Oh, it'sanother house.
So yeah, you know, if you don't mind.
No, I wanted to go back to something you said earlier about
apologies. I thought that's one of the
hardest things that I think I had to go through is a is

(28:30):
accepting an apology that was never given, you know, so that I
could grow because some people, and that's what this generation
does get right. Our generation, I think not all
of us, but a lot of us get it right because sometimes the
healing doesn't take anything but an apology, acknowledgement
will do wonders for people. And so that's the one thing we

(28:51):
can do is tell our children, I'msorry when we realized
something, our parents that I'm going to say the generation that
is not their strong suit, they will tell you you're dead.
That didn't even happen. It's like yesterday, I was
there. I've been living it ever since
it happened that day. So I haven't let it die long

(29:14):
enough for me to forget that it happened.
So, so I think that we, this generation, at least we're in a
place where we're trying to heal.
And I think they would have if they could have, but they put it
all on Jesus, whatever they needed.
I'm like, Jesus made the therapist Sonic, go get one,
please, Please. So yeah, that's what I want to

(29:37):
say about the. Well, you get the nail on the
head. I mean, that is the generations
that raised us. You know, there are no apologies
and a lot of times, and I think that's why a lot of people of
our current generation are really on a healing journey.
And you have so many women our ages who are life coaches and
motivational speakers because wegrew up in a generation where

(30:02):
you can't even tell the people in your family something that
happened because they're going to swear up and down and never
even took place when you know ithappened.
So that's a frustration already that I think a lot of us have
carried. And of course, you know, we want
to talk about the religious part.
Like a lot of our generation were raised, and I'm not saying

(30:25):
everyone, but the most average person, I feel like our age was
raised under religious households and it's just, you
know, how our parents and parents before then were raised.
Oh, Jesus will fix it. Just pray on it.
You're not depressed. There's no such thing as
depression. If you are depressed, that means
that something's lacking in yourprayer life.
You know, like you don't go to church enough.

(30:46):
Like everything religion is weaponized basically.
So like if you have any type of depression or if you're trying
to deal with trauma, if you're even speaking up, because we
know we grew up in that generation.
What happens in this house staysin this house.
But as you said, it goes, goes to the next level where it's
like it didn't happen, you know,So just to, to wash it away.

(31:07):
And if it did, you know, you should be getting over it.
So, you know, we grew up in thatway.
If you start even speaking up about it, you're the pariah.
There's something wrong with you, you know, like you're not
serving God correctly, like you're not supposed to be
speaking on these things. I just saw a post last week by a
pretty prominent pastor and he had like a whole list of

(31:28):
different things that shouldn't take place in that family.
And one of the things that he listed, which kind of surprised
me was like, well, family secrets supposed to stay in the
family. And I was like, like, that's not
a healthy thing for, you know, aperson that position to say,
because what if that family secret is abuse or molestation

(31:49):
or so many things that people have dealt with within their
family? There's no, no, that doesn't
need to stay within the family. That's one of the breakdowns and
problems of the average Black family as it is now, because
you're not allowed to say anything.
You have to still deal with yourabusers because God forbid you
cut off family members. That's a big no, no, a taboo.
It's a taboo to say, hey, I may forgive this person in the

(32:14):
family that's done something, but I sure don't want to be
around them anymore. That's another taboo because
they throw in that religious, you know, aspect of, well, you
know, God forgive. You're supposed to forgive them.
And their definition of forgiveness is totally different
than this new generation. They want you to forgive and
hang with them and be around them and be at the family
reunions and be at the Sunday dinners with them.

(32:35):
And it's like, no, I'm not obligated to being there and
abusing, but that is the generation that we grew up in,
unfortunately. But we're told that we have to
put up with so much. And they throw in the religious
part. So then you start feeling, you
know, with guilt or you may haveconflicted feelings like, OK,
well, am I wrong for this? Am I wrong for speaking up?

(32:55):
Am I wrong because I don't want to be around these people?
So it's so many complex things. And that's why the generation
after as our kids, you know, they do have a better position
because like you said, they're better than what we were.
And but the sad part is a lot ofus parents, we have unwittingly

(33:16):
thrown trauma on the kids. It just it's just was shaped
differently. You know, I was wearing a
different dress, but it was justa different form of trauma.
But at least some of these generational curses, they're
being broken down, sometimes more slowly, but they're being
broken down because some of us are more free to speak.
But, you know, that's such a, it's like a very lengthy

(33:39):
conversation just about the breakdown of the black family,
the weaponization of religion and Christianity that causes so
many problems. You know, we also grew up in
generations where what was therapy, what was counseling?
You don't go tell somebody your business because if it's telling
somebody your business, if you seek no exactly, you're supposed

(34:01):
to pray about it and just go to church on Sunday and that's it.
And also what is this? You know, people put in family
secrets and books. You know, that's a a no, no,
like you're not supposed to say anything.
What is with, you know, you're not supposed to be having a
podcast talking out of business.So that's what it's looked as
like you're telling, you know, the family business instead of,

(34:22):
oh, you're trying to heal and trying to get past it.
And that's just, that's just thebreakdown.
I feel like with families, and so many of us too have we're
descendants from abuse. You know what I'm saying?
There's so many of you go back and a lot of us, if we go back
in our family trees, there's some sick abuse that took place

(34:43):
that no one talks about. It's just an absolute secret.
And until you get old and you start looking at some timelines
or start looking at family history, like, wait a minute,
this doesn't add up. This doesn't make sense.
But you cannot question it. You can't ask about it.
You know, and you're looked at like you're the strange one if
you start asking questions like,OK, why did this happen?

(35:04):
Like this doesn't make sense that you just not allowed to
talk about it. And that's how our parents were
raised and the people before them.
So that's just the complex part,You know, the whole generational
trauma, it just gets very deep. It does, girl, you said so much
just now and it is so true. And they'd had, they didn't have
any boundaries and they don't believe in boundaries.

(35:26):
And, and my book it does, you know, like I, I, I do reveal
some things, you know, I, I think I explained some things
that I wasn't willing to share before I talk about abuse.
I didn't call any names. My brothers, people do know, my
brothers and I, I did mention that see, things like this
happens. I believe that it is my job, if

(35:46):
it's in my face, to break a generational curse.
So for years all this abuse wenton and our family, girls were
being molested. And I know where it comes from.
Back in the day, you couldn't call the police.
The police will kill the man, you know, and you think about it
generationally, we were used as products.
So you had dads that sleep with their daughters to create

(36:07):
another baby. They were, they just put them
together. They didn't see them as family.
They saw them as product. So you got a father, he's going
to sleep with his daughter, they're going to produce a child
and this child is going to be another product, you know.
So it's, that's how they built their, the lineage of slaves
then. So then as the generations came

(36:29):
and we were free, that's kind ofthing was still happening in the
family. Men saw a girl or woman they
wanted. They just did that.
And so it was prevalent in my family.
It was just so many girls that were being touched.
Nobody talked about it. So when it happened to my
daughter and my cousin, I took it upon myself to call the
police. And of course that wasn't, that

(36:50):
didn't really go over well because how could you?
God is no respecter of persons. We need to focus on protecting
the girls instead of these men. They are grown and they know
better. Even if they're my brothers,
even if they're my uncles, I don't care who they are
strangers, They need to be held accountable.
We have to hold people accountable and we have to stop

(37:11):
hiding behind conversations. We, we have to Start Stop hiding
behind comfort. You know, like in our
conversations, we just got to have the tough conversation.
So sometimes I feel like I don'thave the best family
relationships and sometimes I ask myself why?
Because I some people would evencall me a relationship expert.

(37:32):
I'm really good with relationships, I said.
But when you're the one that's throwing the heel in, a lot of
times you'll look like the crazyone because you ask questions
that people don't feel like you should ask.
I had actually had to tell one of my family members.
I said, there's sugar and then there's poison.
So are you telling me that if a,if a family member is putting

(37:53):
poison in my coffee that I should still drink it because
it's my family member? I said if it the sugar is going
to be the sugar, the the poison is going to be the poison.
So I don't care who is dropping what.
I'm not going to drink poison because it's my family.
That doesn't make any sense to me.

(38:14):
So when you're constantly pouring this toxic behavior out
or and you don't want it to be addressed, you don't want to
talk about it because I'm here for getting better and growing
forward. But if we want to act like it's
not there, I removed myself fromthe space because what I'm not
good at these days, I spent way too much money on therapy, way
too much money doing self reflections and trying to heal,

(38:37):
to sit and miss and act like it's not there.
It just doesn't even make sense to me anymore.
Let's discuss it. So yeah, I tell a lot of stuff
in my book that people, the onlyperson I was concerned about is
my mom, and she blessed it. So the rest of them, you know,
I'm like, like my friend told me, she said, I'm just saying if
you don't want to be in my book,don't do anything wrong.

(39:01):
Don't do it, and you won't end up in the book, you know?
So this is probably the only book that I'll write where
there's all this information about, you know, but this is my
life. This is not about nobody else
but me. So, you know, I, I tried to
avoid situations where I put people out there, but girl,
that's the only way we're going to heal.
We, you can't, you got to heal out loud because it's, it's

(39:24):
really not even about you, you know, just be conscious about
demonizing people. I try not to demonize anybody.
Like my mom, She did the very best that she could with the
resources that she had. She was a child trying to raise
a child and I understand that that even though we don't have
haven't had the best adult relationship.

(39:45):
She was my world when I was a child, when I was a teenager,
even as a young adult. It wasn't until I was a young
adult that I was like, you're not perfect at all.
You would have thought I would have noticed that a long time
ago, you know, with the decisions that she would make,
but she was just everything and and I challenged her to start

(40:05):
healing and just a couple of years ago is when she.
Started to really start looking at things you know and you know
got some professional help because before she just thought
she would pray about it I guess and it would go away but honey

(40:25):
at this big old age if it hasn'tgone yet, it's not going not
without your participation so ohgirl talk about family I'm.
Happy to hear that she did, but what have happened here that she
did get professional help because I mean, how many people
of her generation have not gotten any professional help?

(40:46):
This is something that's not going to happen.
They're not going to speak to a professional.
As you said, they're just going to go to church more.
They're going to pray more and that's it.
They're not going to get any treatment, professional
treatment for their trauma, the abuse they went through.
They're not going to get any help for it at all.
There's so many people in her generation and before then and

(41:08):
before them, they're not going to get any professional help.
It's unheard of. Their only thing they're going
to do is go to church and pray. That is it, you know, And so I
do commend that she did get somehelp because, and that's the sad
part about it at the time, you never know.
No one probably even put two andtwo together.
That's abuse because it was so commonplace in that generation,

(41:31):
you know, especially when it's happening in the church too, you
know, it's just a taboo thing that takes place that nobody
talks about. So I want to ask you also about
patio conversation. So I know that is something that
you have done with these events.And I saw some clips of it, one
of them like I was, it really made me emotional watching it,

(41:56):
just just a video. And they were carrying like the
weight and the trauma and the pain.
Can you tell us about Patio Conversations and just what made
you decide to do this and explain also to people who are
listening or watching exactly what Patio Conversations is?
OK, so the I'll start with what you saw was my interactive book
signing. Instead of just having people

(42:18):
show up to sign books, I wanted to create something that I
actually could travel with too. But it tells a story outside of
the story. So it shows the weight that we
all carry. And then the end of it shows the
release. And that's why with that, I had
a fountain for women to write down, but they wanted to see
disappear out of their lives. And so they would write that and
watch it dissolve in the fountain.

(42:39):
And then they would, you know, go to the healing wall, put
things on that wall that they needed to leave there.
And then a journaling station, you know, so listening station,
things that help us reflect and,you know, figure out what we are
or we want to be. Is this something you want to
carry with you because it's whatyou want to do?
Or is this something you want toleave here and, and try not to

(43:01):
look back at it? Do you want to admit that it's
an issue and then leave it here?And then we just had a
conversation about those things because every woman I had on the
panel and this area is looked atlike successful, you know, and
it's like nobody knew their stories.
And, and since I was, you know, pretty familiar with them, I
knew, you know, their stories. And I'm like this, they didn't

(43:22):
just wake up successful. One of the ladies, I was telling
her, I said, the reason why you and I, I think are successful is
because we didn't have to go through the struggle of getting
out of our comfort zone because we never had one.
A lot of people struggle to get out of their comfort.
We didn't have to, We didn't have those struggles, so we
could just jump into things because there was no comfort,

(43:44):
you know? And so the reason why I decided
to do patio conversations is because I realized that they're
not a lot of safe spaces for us to have a real conversation.
You go to church groups and thenthere's judgment.
You're met with judgment. You need to do this, You need to
pray about this, You need to this.
And this is not the way it's done.
That's not pleasing to God. That's not honey.

(44:04):
Nobody wants to hear that when they're broken and when they're
hurting, when they're strugglingwith something.
And patio conversations, the, the way it's set up, it's like,
say, for instance, your host. And I really feel like this is
kind of a setting where we're having this real conversation.
You would be the host, I would just show up.
You would invite the women that are closest to you that you feel

(44:26):
like in your space y'all could have real conversations.
And I would lead those conversations and I would only
thing I would ask is that you have an open heart today and
that you will put down your defenses and trust this circle.
It's hard, but we have to trust that somebody can hear our
hearts without judging us. And I asked the women and say,
if you're that person that judges, I asked you not to

(44:48):
deflect right now because if you're judging this woman, it's
because you got something going on in you and you see something
in her that is reminding you of you.
And so instead of dealing with you, you're going to deal with
her, which we have a very, I don't know.
I was thinking about Beyoncé when she was going through that
thing and she wrote that, that that album Lemonade.

(45:11):
And I just could not get over how many people were like
talking. I can't believe she went back to
Jay-Z and this and other than I was thinking, isn't this Susie
who went back to Ray Ray who hasnothing to offer?
Like seriously girl, Ray Ray living with his Mama and can't
help you out with your rent or nothing but you deflecting and

(45:32):
you worried about Beyoncé who got whatever she got and this is
bad who I mean and they've made more money off of their beast
than anything. You have to sometimes wonder if
it was even real because he did 4 to 4 and she did that.
But that's how we do. We will judge without even
realizing that we're that person.

(45:54):
Girl, that's you. You just did that.
So I asked, you know, let's let's not do that.
Let's really open our hearts andbe authentic in here and say
with honesty, I struggle with that too.
Oh, I struggle. I'm struggling with that too
because we have this. I will say from my perspective
for the longest, and I am really, I say I'm a recovering,

(46:16):
recovering perfectionist becauseI wanted my kids to look
perfect. I wanted my husband to look
perfect. I wanted to look perfect.
I want it if it if somebody walked in the house and
something, I would flip out on everybody.
If the garage was out of order and they had that door up and
somebody pulled up the UPS man or something, somebody don't
even know, I would flip out about it.

(46:36):
Everything had to be perfect, but I realized that that's
attached to not be not feeling enough, feeling judged, people
pleasing. There's so many things attached
to that, you know, And so it's easier for me in this day and
time to say, girl, I feel that instead of being like, well, I
don't know what's wrong with you.
But as you know, because I wouldtell people what I wanted to

(47:00):
tell me, I would tell them to respond the way I wanted to
respond but didn't, you know what I mean?
Instead of saying I feel that I got the same issue.
So patio conversations pretty much provides a safe space for
us to deal with those specific issues and not hold back to say

(47:21):
I am suffering right now from, you know, not feeling enough.
I feel inadequate. I feel like I'm just a mom or I
feel like I'm just a wife. I don't feel like I'm doing
enough. I don't feel I'm insecure.
I don't feel comfortable in my skin at this point, you know,
and it causes depression. I'm overeating.

(47:42):
And I, you know, women are goingthrough so much.
And I had a client who is the most beautiful thing I've seen
on social media. She posted a picture within 3
minutes. It's got like 500 likes on it or
whatever, you know, And just, I found out her boyfriend was
beating her senseless and she finally came out to talk about

(48:05):
it. I hosted this event that I
called No More Shame. And this event was private.
I didn't allow them to record. You know, some, like some things
have to be a sacred space. That's why that video doesn't
have any talking. You know, it's, I don't want any
audible because I don't want women to feel like if I share
this, it's got to be all over social media.

(48:26):
You know, I don't want you to feel like I got to build my
brand on your painting. So what you're saying, we'll
stay right here unless you have volunteered to share like what
you and I are doing today. So with the No More Shame that
event, the only people that werePrivy to what was going on in
there were the people that were in there.
But she came alongside me and hosted alongside me and she told

(48:50):
her story. Her mom was there.
Her mom was in tears and she told her story how she had to
let her go because she kept saving her from the situation
and she kept going back. But I said that to say on social
media, it looked like they were the perfect little family.
They were vacationing. I didn't know she was paying for
them all. He couldn't even keep a job or
whatever that she was just sharing all this pain.

(49:13):
And then he almost beat her to death.
She had to escape to a neighbor's house or something.
And I'm thinking, this is stuff we're ashamed to share.
We don't want people to to judges, but we need each other
so that we can say stuff like this, you know, And the shame
doesn't belong to you. It belongs to the person that
did it. Give it back.
Put it back where it belongs. This is not yours to carry, you

(49:35):
know. So the shame on them, not shame
on you, you know, So that's whatPatio Conversations is about.
It's the heavy stuff. Wow, that is something else.
And you know, you're right because we really do need each
other, you know, because you never know, like who will be,

(49:57):
who needs to hear your story? You'd never know.
And I think because, you know, we do live in a social media
world where it's about the amount of likes or the amount of
views or whether it goes viral. But like I've tell people in the
past, your purpose doesn't have to go viral because your purpose
is about saving at least one person.
If one person reads that book orwatches that podcast that looks

(50:20):
at that post Star reaches out toyou, saving one life is is
priceless. And that's why, you know, if God
gives it to you to be able to tell your story.
And the reason I say that's because not everybody can tell
that story and that that's nothing wrong with them.
Not everybody has to build a platform or be the next author.

(50:41):
I'd be the next podcaster or, you know, be the next
influencer. Like not everybody has to have
that task on them. And I get that, but if you are
that person that can get up and tell your story, if you are that
person that can write something down on a book, because we, we
tend to not acknowledge that gift sometimes, sometimes we

(51:02):
don't realize, you know, speaking in front of a person,
that's a gift that the next person may not have writing
something originally. No, ChatGPT is something that
the next person may not have that gift, you know, So if you
are that person that can get up there and Share your story,
don't look at the the quantity, look at the quality.
If you're just being yourself and being authentic and telling

(51:24):
your story, it has the power to save a life and save in one life
is more about it's more valuablethan the number of views or all
this other foolishness that, youknow, we tend to drive ourselves
on in this world. It's about saving a life because
you never know who's listening and what they're dealing with.
Outside of, like you said, thoseperfect social media post, you

(51:48):
don't know what a person is dealing with behind closed
doors. There are some people that are
struggling to even stay alive and you could be delivering a
message that makes them want to live, that makes them not want
to take their life, that makes them want to walk away from that
abusive relationship, that makesthem want to get help for that
addiction or go seek therapy forthe abuse that they may not even

(52:12):
have realized they were abused because we do, you know,
sometimes people are abused and they've been gas lit, they've
been mentally abused. They've been convinced that this
is normal. You know, I mean, how many women
have been in abusive relationships where they didn't
know any better because they sawit before them?
So they thought that that was a normal part of relationships to

(52:34):
be physically or emotionally or mentally abused.
They thought this was normal. So you never know what life
you're going to change by sharing your story.
So, you know, never underestimate who's listening at
all. And so, and of course, this has
been just such a powerful, it's just, it's everything that you

(52:54):
shared. And again, as I told you at
platform, it is about self love because with everything that
you've gone through, like you said, it gets to an
acknowledgement, no matter what you've been through, that you
still are worthy, that you're still valuable, that you still
deserve to receive love and you're also capable of giving

(53:15):
it. Sometimes we just if you've gone
through trauma, you go through aperiod where you don't like you
said, you wonder like, OK, why me?
Why was I the one that had to gothrough all these different
things? And you start to question your
life, like why are you even on this earth?
You start to question your worthit as a whole, like, OK, why me?

(53:35):
What? And what is it about the abusers
too that they see that they saw about me that, you know, when I
was the target? There's so many things where you
right, there's so many things that you question your work.
So I want to ask you, how do youdefine self love in your life?
Because to be where you are now,you got to a point where you

(53:56):
realize, like you said, you wereworthy of having a healthy
marriage, you were worthy of raising your children in a
loving environment, you were worthy of seeking a career, you
were worthy of sharing your story with other women.
So I'm going to ask you, how do you define self love and what
role has it played in your life?It's so funny you're asking this

(54:19):
because yesterday I kind of asked a similar question.
I feel like oftentimes for me, this, the struggle was given
other people what I was giving myself.
I felt like everybody else got the best of me.
But when it came to me, like forinstance, you're beautiful.
I told you that in the beginning.

(54:39):
And if you said something bad about yourself, oh girl, I will
go in with everything I could think of about how beautiful
your brows are and how beautifulyour lashes are and how I like
the way you. And I was going to make sure
that you felt good about yourself.
But then I would take that same energy and go and tear myself
apart. You know, like everything that's

(55:01):
not right about me. So I realized that I fed my kids
healthy, but I didn't feed me healthy.
I made sure I was showing up foreverybody, but I wouldn't
showing up for myself. I would make sure that I kept my
word to you but betrayed myself without even blinking an eye.
And like you said, I had no value for my life.
I actually, you know, was suicidal and like you said that

(55:24):
one word that you know, it was apastor for me that saved my
life, you know, and him saving my life.
I feel like I have a responsibility because God
didn't keep me here for nothing.So what self love looks like to
me now is me considering me and realizing that it's not selfish
for me to consider myself first.It's actually healthy.

(55:46):
I I believe that I am important and I do play a heavy role in
your life. We don't know how that is yet
because I feel like everybody that encounters me, I've
encountered them. So you play a heavy role in my
life, whatever that looks like. My children need me, my husband
need me, my brokerage need me, my agents need me.

(56:08):
But in order for me to be able to give them the best of me, I
got to give me the best of me, you know?
So instead of deflecting my insecurities, now I'm deflecting
myself, love. I'm like, this is not insecure.
Yesterday, girl, I took off and I had no business doing it.
And I went and I had afternoon tea with my friend and I was
like, this is self love. So loving myself is not one way

(56:32):
for me now it's just me considering myself and
understanding that I too am valuable.
God made me. I'm not broken.
I don't even receive that from women anymore.
I used to say I'm broken, but God, you know, still uses me.
If it's broken, it can't be usedanymore.
So none of us are broken. We may have been bent a little
bit, you know. So I'm worthy of love.

(56:54):
I have the ability to give it like you said, and and I serve
myself so that I can serve you better.
It's just I've reversed my thinking and instead of thinking
because we, we were created to be sacrificial lambs, I started
telling people I was like, Jesusalready did that.
According to our beliefs, he already was a sacrifice.

(57:16):
So I'm no longer sacrifice to myself for those children,
husband. Not that because I need to be OK
for me and I know we're running out of time, but I also want to
tell you this when you say social media, I used to have a
pretty large social media presence.
And then I had like a mental breakdown and I felt like there

(57:38):
was so much pressure attached, so many expectations attached to
my presence. I'm really just now starting to
come back outside is what I called it.
There were so many, just like I couldn't handle the expectations
that came with it. And then I just decided to hang
it up. And I feel like I said, girl,
it's time for you come out of there.
You've been hiding long enough. I deleted my entire social media

(58:01):
and started over. I lost a gazillion followers on
Instagram. And she said, I told Brandy, I
said, I think I need to delete it and start over.
She was like, no, just start building from there.
But the it's, it's for me, it's not even about that.
And people tell me all the time,you could be so much bigger if
you share the stuff that you're doing.

(58:22):
And I'm like, but I don't want to expose.
I want to keep some of those things sacred.
I don't want to share everythingbecause it's about that one
life, like you said, not about blowing up.
If that's the life God has for me, thank God.
But I won't get it by, you know,sharing people's pain unless

(58:42):
that's something they want to share.
You know what I mean? This you have an amazing
purpose. I thank you for having me here
and I'm having this conversationwith you.
I do feel like we just had a patio conversation and if you do
want to do an official one, justlet me know.
I'll be on the flight. Oh, look, we definitely will be

(59:02):
chatting after this and even before, like when Brandy gave
me, you know, your information and I read through and I was
like, yeah, of course, you know,And I automatically was like,
well, she definitely needs to come through our Pink Rain
group. And I know anybody that's
listening probably what are theytalking about?
So we go Queen, we have our PinkRain community that I started in

(59:23):
February. So we have these chats every
other Saturday morning, no cameras.
That's one of the main importantthings like don't turn, turn the
camera on because it's to feel comfortable so you don't have to
get up and feel like you got to beat your face, do your hair,
brush your teeth, whatever. Just get out.
You can just relax. You can lay down on the phone.
It's just for us to unpack, celebrate each other because

(59:47):
like you said, we put so many things on the back burner for
somebody else, especially you become a mother.
Like we'll be dead last, you know, and even like now even for
myself personally, and I could be rambling, but just like I'll
get compliments about my appearance, but that stems from
being a teased child, being toldI was ugly, being told I wasn't

(01:00:09):
pretty. Even having an ex-spouse that,
you know, made it his mission tolike whatever I like he hated,
you know, whatever I thought wasgreat.
He did everything he could to just make it seem like I just
wasn't on the right side of anything, you know, so.
There's so many things behind what we see, you know, like that

(01:00:30):
everybody has a story that some people just, you know, you'll
never know. That's right unless you share.
So that's the beauty of Pink Rain.
And like I said, we'll definitely link up for that.
And I definitely would love to talk to you about patio
conversations because again, I feel like building community for
women is something that is needed.
And I know like there's a lot ofcontroversy behind woman's

(01:00:51):
empowerment groups. You know, I came across the Tic
Tac. I come across it all the time.
People like, well, you know, I hate those empowerment groups.
Those branches is fake is what you bring to it, you know, but
you have to still seek your tribe because for every
empowerment group that is that may not be genuine, there are
groups of women who are gathering who are the exact

(01:01:13):
opposite, who are genuine, who are on a mission of healing, who
are not coming in with any type of negative, you know, energy.
And that's always a needed thing.
So again, I guess I can go on and on, but I have definitely
appreciate this conversation andthis conversation to is just
another example why it's important to just talk sometimes

(01:01:36):
and to just share what is going on.
Just like I told you before we hit record, I'm like, just
relax, Be comfortable because we're talking, you know, when
you just start, when people gather to talk and not put on a
show or just, you know, overthink, just relax.
You never know again what life you're going to save, what

(01:01:57):
you're going to share that's going to make people think.
You know, a lot of times we don't have enough conversations
just about the generational trauma and the weaponization of
religion that's tied into that. That's a conversation that I
feel like we need to have more conversations in our community
because a lot of people are suffering because of the way

(01:02:17):
religion has been weaponized, weaponized to make you throw
abuse in the in the closet, you know, act like it never happened
or not get treatment for your depression or not even hold
abusers accountable because you know, there's some environments
for like, oh, just pray for the abuser.
No, I'm oppressed charges. That's right.
That's what we need to do. So there's so many things that

(01:02:40):
we definitely need to talk aboutmore.
So like I said, I can go on and on.
But before we end everything, please tell everybody how they
can find you, how they can orderthis book, tell them about your
websites. And I know you said you're
easing back into social media, but if you'd like to share your
social media, give everybody a contact information.
OK, my website is www.lookbackforwhat.com and get

(01:03:03):
my book on there. It's available on Amazon.
It's available on eBay, barnesandnoble.com.
Like really? You can find it on a lot of
different platforms. Currently on Instagram I am the
elevated coach, same on Facebookand Tulisa Wright, my first and

(01:03:23):
last name on Facebook. And I think that's it for now.
I'm on TikTok. Drop it.
I make sure I publish everything.
But again, thank you so much forsharing your story.
You know, as I said, these conversations, I know it's rough
to talk about some of these things, but but again, if God

(01:03:44):
gives it to you to share it, youknow, you never know who you're
going to save just by sharing your story or who's going to
look at something differently bylistening to what you have
shared. So thank you again for just this
book. The things that you're doing
will definitely have to chat again.
Like, I know it's not easy, but I just appreciate you and women

(01:04:07):
like you that share their stories because it's not easy
for all of us that are trauma survivors, because I don't use
the term victim, but who are trauma survivors who we getting
up every morning and we're trying to help somebody and also
heal. It's a lot of work.
So I definitely appreciate you for sure.
And for anybody that tunes in, that listens, just remember that

(01:04:29):
in spite of what you've gone through, you know, a lot of us
have gone through things that atthe time we didn't have the
control over it. We weren't able to defend
ourselves, which of course is anunfair hand.
But right now, where you're sitting at right now and this
day in time, you do have the power.
Now you do have the control. You don't have to be anybody's

(01:04:50):
victim, you don't have to live in sadness, you don't have to
live in pain, you don't have to live in trauma.
You are worthy, you are valuableand you deserve to live a
blessed life. You deserve to live a happy
life. You deserve healthy
relationships, healthy friendships.
You deserve wealth. And don't let the past define
you at all. So I just hope that anybody that

(01:05:12):
tunes in it just understands that you don't have to let that
trauma drive your life like you can take over and live the life
that you deserve. So I just pray that you know,
through this conversation, if someone finds a way that they
can get closer to healing. So again, thank you guys for
tuning and thank you Miss to Lisa Wright.

(01:05:32):
This has been an amazing conversation.
And please go ahead and check out her book.
Look back for what and make sureyou guys, like I said, whatever
you have to do so that you're not looking back anymore, you
can move forward. So thank you again for joining
the key chat. You can catch this conversation
and more www.goqueen.com. Make sure you guys be safe and

(01:05:54):
go love yourself just. Bring about a business working
hard on a mission, head high purpose driven, crown on, never
tilted go queen. She's a queen about a business,

(01:06:20):
working hard on a mission, had high purpose driven crown on the
utility. Go queen.
Go queen, go queen. Go queen, Go queen.

(01:06:50):
Go queen. Go queen.
Go queen. Go queen, go queen, go queen.

(01:07:10):
She's a queen of thy business, working hard on me.
She can't hop upstream. Go queen, Go queen, Go queen, Go

(01:07:31):
queen, go queen, go clean.