Adoption, Fatherhood, and Grace - Jason Caywood

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Today's episode, we welcome Jason Caywood to the podcast!  Jason is the President of Caywood Consulting and is a certified Sandler Sales trainer.

In this episode, we explore how adoption shaped Jason’s identity, how he met his birth mom decades later, and why love adds rather than replaces. We share practical tools for calm leadership at home, from apologies that repair trust to letting kids own their goals.

Additionally, we covered the following:

• adoption as identity, not label
• reunion with birth mom handled through patience and respect
• communicating fears openly with adoptive and birth families
• family-first values and faith expressed as behavior
• repairing after anger and separating stress from discipline
• meeting each child where they are, not one-size-fits-all
• curiosity over judgment in debates with teens
• letting kids fail safely and own their dreams
• quality time over quantity, presence over perfection
• parenting principles mirrored in sales leadership coaching
• mentors, belief, and sending the elevator back down

Excited for you all to listen and share with your network!

Support the show

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
I'm Riley.

SPEAKER_03 (00:04):
And I'm Ryder.
And this is my dad job.
Well, hey everybody, it's KTJCox with the Quarterback
Podcast.
Welcome to Season 6.
And I cannot be more excited tohave you join me for another
year of fantastic episodes ofconversations with unscripted
and raw and authenticconversations with ads.

(00:26):
If you're new to this podcast,it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads.
We learn about how they'reraised.
We learn about the life lessonsthat work with them.
We learn about the values thatare important to them.

(00:46):
Everybody, it's KCJ Cox with theQuarterback Jack Catch once
season six.
Get ready to uh to wrap upseason six and we're already we
have episodes already booked forthe remainder of this calendar
year, which is crazy.
And even starting to talk aboutseason seven, which means we
have episodes looking for theJanuary time frame, which uh is
really exciting, which meansthat we're very grateful here um

(01:08):
once podcasts for everybody whocontinues to listen and
continues to take time to leaveus for you, or or takes time to
share an episode with us withanother dad if an episode or a
conversation had sparked maybesome growth or some insight or
some learning or some relearningor whatever it may be, whatever
it did for you, we are verygrateful for you.
So our next guest comes to usthrough the wide world of

(01:29):
connecting in LinkedIn, ourfriend uh Rochelle, who had a
conversation with us.
She connected us together.
And his name's Jason Kwood.
He's the president and founderof Kwood Consulting.
He is someone that spent yearsuh in the in the wide world of
sales.
He now is a Sandler franchisee,uh, doing very similar work but
what I'm doing, but he'sprobably way better at it than I

(01:49):
am.
Uh he's a he's a but moreimportantly, everybody, he's a
dad.
And he's and he's gonna sharewith us how he's working hard,
become that ultimate quarterbackor leader of his household
household.
So further ado, Mr.
Kwood, welcome to thequarterback dad cast.

SPEAKER_02 (02:02):
And thank you so much.
Uh a genuine honor that uh thatyou invited me to be here.
I I'm uh I love that you'redoing what you're doing, as
being a dad is so critical.
And and uh so thank you fordoing what you're doing and
having me here.

SPEAKER_03 (02:16):
Oh, you bet, man.
Well, I also appreciate you thatum we're an audio-only podcast
right now, everybody, which I Ithink you know, unfortunately,
Jason's the only the one thatreally gets to see just a
spectacular handlebar mustache,which he's now giggling a little
bit.
And those that you can't, you'reit's your loss.
It really is your loss.

SPEAKER_02 (02:35):
10 out of 10.
Not even a question.
It just it's uh I just I yeah,it's made my day.
It's made my day.

SPEAKER_03 (02:42):
Oh I I gotta make fun of myself, everybody, but
it's we're recording nowSeptember 22nd.
The stash is for the SeattleMariners and the continued good
luck that my my lovely SeattleMariners are doing.
We have never won a WorldSeries, never been to a World
Series, but we're hoping thatthis lucky stash is the one that
gets it done.
Okay.
Most importantly, we're gonnatalk about you now, Jason.

(03:04):
Tell me what are you mostgrateful for as a dad today?

SPEAKER_02 (03:07):
Um, I had a birthday last week, and I've got my
oldest is off in college, andthen my it's my son, and my our
two daughters are still at homewith us.
And the messages I got, whetherit was a a voice memo from my
son or the cards, written cardsfrom my daughters, that at this

(03:29):
stage, um, at their ages, youknow, 19, 17, and 11, um, how
they feel about me as a dad andand the relationship that we
have.
Um, I am super grateful forthat.
Um, yeah, I just I, you know,when you are a dad, it's uh it's
hard to sometimes think that fardown the road.

(03:50):
And so to see where things areat this many years in, I
couldn't be happier and moregrateful.

SPEAKER_03 (03:56):
It's awesome, man.
It's great answer.
Um, what I'm most grateful foris that at this stage of life,
um we have two, I have two kids,19 and 17.
I don't have an 11-year-old.
And uh I'm grateful that my I'mgonna be done with this quicker
than you are.
But I'm also gonna be jealousbecause you get you get more of
the the journey of whether it'ssports or activities and all the

(04:17):
fun things that that keeps usyoung.
Um I am very grateful for thestage of life because uh I'm
putting my son and daughter's uhactivities above anything above
work.
And uh I had the opportunity acouple weeks ago to go see my
son play in his second umcollege golf tournament, and I
had a huge work project thatjust kicked off, and I was like,

(04:40):
How am I gonna do it?
How am I gonna do it?
And I said, wait a minute, no,we're gonna delay the project.
And I have I went, I apologizedto the people I was working
with, they were like, oh my god,this is a no-brainer.
And two of them said, Man, Iactually am inspired that you
just did this because you kindof gave me the green light to I
can do this in the future.
And I'm not saying to people tolive recklessly, but for me, I'm

(05:01):
just so uh laser focused onwhat's most important, which is
like just enjoying that timewith them and the feeling
whether he shoots 68 or 79, itdoesn't matter.
I mean, I yeah, I want him toplay well, but just the fact
that he knows I'm there or mywife's there, and the same thing
with my daughter with basketballright now, and or just
rebounding for, or just whetherit's you know, they get to make

(05:22):
fun of dad with his crazymustache right now.
Like just the the therelationships that I'm really
just like slowing down to justlaser focus.
I'm just grateful for that timeand that mindset.
It's just like it's likeinspiring for myself.
So I love it.
Well, uh, bring me inside theK-Wood Huddle.
You said you got three, threemembers of the squad.

(05:42):
I'm sure there's a generalmanager in there somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 (05:45):
Yes, yes.
So um, yeah, my wife and I inthis past August celebrated 22
years together.
And um yeah, it's uh we we kindof joke.
We live in Utah, and um we arewe are not part of the dominant
culture here, but we sure actedlike that in that we got we met
and were engaged and married inunder a year.

(06:08):
And um there were some loving umquestions from family members
about the speed with whichthings were happening, but it
it's all it was all good andit's all it's it's worked out,
and we've had an amazingjourney.
We moved all over the country,uh uh San Francisco, Chicago,
Indianapolis, and Charlotte.

(06:28):
And you know, kids along theway.
I always joke that uh our ourson was uh created in San
Francisco, born in Chicago, andour first daughter uh created in
Indiana and uh and then born inCharlotte.
And after having two, we decidedwe wanted to get back around
family, so came back here andthen had our third one here.
And and uh yeah, it's um man,when you think 22 years and all

(06:51):
that's happened, in in some waysit's like a blink of an eye, but
in other ways it's like, man,there's been a lot packed into
that.
And um, and so yeah, like Isaid, very grateful for where
things are at.
And that does not mean it's beena line of perfection.
Let me be clear about that.

SPEAKER_05 (07:05):
Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 (07:06):
It's been a lot of ups and downs and and good and
challenging times, but I amthankful for this chapter in our
lives and um again therelationship of my wife and and
our kids that uh that wecurrently have.
And and uh yeah, so it's uh man,just thankful across the board
on where things are at.

SPEAKER_03 (07:23):
How did you guys meet?

SPEAKER_02 (07:24):
I chuckle because again, we met somewhere where we
never would have expected tomeet someone of substance, but
uh we met at a club here in SaltLake City.
It was a club that uh that wascalled Club Splash at the time.
And I I share it because again,it's it's fun to look back on.
Uh, 100% honest here.
Like my friends and I weresitting at a big round table.

(07:47):
Her and her friends come walkingin and just kind of one at a
time, like a friend of hersstarted talking to a friend of
mine, and and on around until itwas just her and I left.
And we talked all night, andwe've talked every day since.

unknown (08:02):
Wow.

SPEAKER_02 (08:02):
Went on our first date a week later, right?
And and so on and so forth.
And uh another side note, uh,one of my best friends and one
of her best friends got that metthat night, got married as well.
And they've been married maybe,I think it's 21 years, a couple
kids.
So that was a magical night atClub Splash.
Okay, don't ever don't everdownplay what's possible at the
uh Salt Lake Clubs.
But um, but yeah, we met there,and it's um yeah, man.

(08:26):
It's just uh it was it was agood, a good beginning of a
great story.

SPEAKER_03 (08:30):
Wow.
What's ironically is my wife andI met at Club Splash.

SPEAKER_02 (08:33):
Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (08:34):
Joking.

SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
I'm not if you had that mustache, you had had
plenty, plenty of women comingafter you at Club Splash.

SPEAKER_03 (08:40):
All right.
Um so we have 19, 17, and 11.
Um, for what you feel what forwhat you feel comfortable
sharing, tell us a little bitabout what each child's up to
and what lights their fire.

SPEAKER_02 (08:50):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Um, so our I'll start with ouroldest.
You know, he'll be 20 inOctober.
Um, he is in his second year nowat Boise State uh playing
football for them.
Um and it's wild.
He started early, so in January,he'll actually be an academic
junior, which seemsmind-blowing, but he's a red
shirt freshman, football-wise.
Um, and that just, you know,that's what he loves.

(09:12):
He just loves being active.
Um, he loves pushing himself.
Um, he would go to CrossFit withme at 5:30 in the morning at
five years old.
And now, again, doingappropriate things for a
five-year-old, of course, buthe's just always loved that.
And and so that's been a funjourney along the way, just
watching him pursue his goalsand dreams and and and doing all

(09:35):
that.
And happy to chat more about allthat with any of my kids.
But um, with my oldest daughter,she's gonna be, like you said,
we're recording this on a Mondayhere on Wednesday.
She'll be 18.
It's her birthday.
And um, man, she she she and Ihave some of the best
conversations and debates.
Um, she really loves to researchwhat she wants to know about and

(10:00):
and what she believes in.
And and so we have wonderfulconversations around that.
Uh, she too was in sports for along time, did horseback riding,
basketball, and things likethat, but just has really been
focusing on school um the lastyear or so.
Um, she has huge goals aboutwhere she wants to go to school
um after her senior year.
And so we're on the front end ofthat process.

(10:21):
But she and I are the ones wewent to my son's game in uh
Colorado over the weekend, justshe and I, and we just have a
blast.
Like she's just a great travelbuddy and she loves sports.
Like she knows her stuff.
And so we have fun there.
Um, and again, a lot more there.
But then with my 11-year-old,she started middle school and
and she's doing uh in terms ofactivities, she's gotten into

(10:42):
cheer.
She came home the second day ofher first year of middle school
and she's like, uh, I want to dostudent counsel.
Like, okay, what does that looklike?
What do you need to do?
And she got selected, so she'son the front end of that.
But she is um, man, she is a Ilaugh because my our third's
upbringing is completelydifferent than our first two,
right?

(11:02):
Our first two, you know, they'revery close together, so kind of
similar.
And my wife and I really didn'tknow what the heck we were
doing.
And now our third has comealong, and it's like we are much
more relaxed.
Um, she's been raised around hersiblings' friends, so she's seen
different things and whatnot.
And man, she's just afirecracker.
And same thing, she makes uslaugh.
I think she's the funniest onein our family.

(11:24):
Um, just makes us laugh andloves having a good time.
And and um, and yeah, she's veryoutgoing.
So it's just I I love uhwatching and learning from our
kids as they walk through theworld.
And um, again, I've made athousand mistakes every day
since they've been born, butjust trying to feed into, you

(11:44):
know, how can they how can theydo their thing their way?
Right?
Like our our daughter, ouryoungest, for example, it's
like, I don't want to be theparent that makes her posters
for her for student counsel.
I don't want to be the parentthat tells her what to do in her
videos.
Like, no, this needs to be yourthing.
Even if it results in you notgetting selected, great, learn

(12:04):
from it, move on.
But that's something I've Iagain made a lot of mistakes,
but how can I how can it betheir thing?
Right?
Whatever that thing is, versusthem feeling some pressure that
it's my thing that they'retrying to fulfill.

SPEAKER_03 (12:18):
We have no eligibility left.

SPEAKER_02 (12:19):
Yeah, yep.
Yep, it's true.

SPEAKER_03 (12:22):
It's no eligibility left.

SPEAKER_02 (12:24):
No, with my son in high school, I mean he he
started driving at a young ageto get to the next level.
And probably once a month, Iwould check in, I'd say, hey,
you can you can quit tomorrow ifyou want, bud.
Like your mom and I love you thesame.
Like it this it does not matterif you are playing football or
not.
Like we love watching you, butare you sure you want to do
this?
Yep, yep.

(12:45):
Even the night before we weregonna take him up to Boise.
I mean, he'd committed hisscholarship, all that.
And I said, but you don't haveto go if you don't want to.
Right?
Because I just it needed to behis thing.
And so um, again, I've screwedup along the way, but I've
really tried to help them figurethese things out on their own
the best I I could.

SPEAKER_03 (13:05):
What um oh, it's that's it's so I love that you
said that.
Um I wanna I want to switch itto you though, brother.
I want to go back and learnabout Jason.
What was like what was life likegrowing up for you?
And um talk about the impactthat mom and dad had on you now
that you reflect now that you'rea dad.

SPEAKER_02 (13:24):
Yeah, so the the beginning of my story is that I
was adopted, um, five days oldas an infant.
Um the one request that my mybirth mom had for me was that I
went to a Catholic family.
And I only say that because Ijust simply know that that was
God's plan for me, because thatrequest got me to my parents.

(13:47):
Um it's still a central part ofmy life, but I want to be
crystal clear.
Like, I don't care whatanybody's background or faith
is, it's like, no, I'm uh we'recalled to love our neighbors,
right?
And and uh, you know, not ourneighbors that look like us, not
our neighbors that go to thesame church.
No, our neighbors, period.
And so it's it's important tome, but I I, you know, wherever

(14:10):
comes from somebody's comingfrom, great.
That's fine by me.
But um, but yeah, so it's it'suh, you know, five days old.
Um, I have an older sister.
She was six when they when theygot me.
And um I I owe my life to beingadopted.
Like, I mean, people, you know,we can say, oh, like, you know,

(14:30):
things could be so different.
Like, no, I have proof.
Things could be very differentfor me.
You and I could not be talkingright now.
I could not have my family.
Right?
And so, um, so number one, andthere's there's more to that
story here in a minute, but II've always my parents, one of
the, I mean, they did so manythings right, but one of the
things they did, and I don'tknow how to how to share in a

(14:54):
way that it's if somebody couldeasily replicate it, but on the
one hand, I always knew that Iwas adopted, but on the other
hand, it was never in a negativelight, like, oh, this is our
adopted son.
Jay, no, I was there, I'm theirson.
So it's like it was there.
It wasn't some big surprise, butit's like, man, they just
handled that well.

(15:14):
And and I'm thankful for that.
But no, my parents arewonderful.
Thankfully, I still have themboth.
Um, they're uh my mom was ateacher, my dad worked for the
state uh as an investigator fora lot of those years, and and
they put family first.
Um, they set such an amazingexample of what that looks like.

(15:36):
And kind of like I was talkingabout earlier, of I'm grateful
for my relationship with my kidsat this point.
Man, I'm 45 years old now, and II love hanging out with my
parents.
I love having them around, likeI love including them in
everything possible.
And so to me, that's a testamentto their what they did in the
early days, right?
Of laying that foundation.

(15:56):
And so um, they were always atmy stuff, right?
They were always at our gamesand activities, whatever that
was, they were they were there.
And so I'm super, super gratefulfor that.
Um, grateful for my sister.
She was a the best older sisteryou could have.
She, you know, beat up on mewhen when necessary, when I

(16:17):
deserved it, and and loved on meall the other times, right?
And and um, we just had such anawesome relationship.
And the reason why my mom uhthey did adopt, they adopted was
my mom had endometriosis andthought they were done.
Well, surprise, surprise, sixyears later she got pregnant and
had my younger brother.
And so I'm in the middle, right?
Older sister, younger brother,and couldn't ask for better

(16:38):
siblings.
Um and and yeah, and I'll tellyou, as long as I can remember,
and as I've gotten older, I Ithink it, I I know why, but as
long as I can remember, I wantedto be a dad.
Like that's something I thoughtabout all the time.

SPEAKER_01 (16:54):
And and I just couldn't wait for that.

SPEAKER_02 (16:58):
And so, you know, growing up, so a little bit more
on my adoption story, you know,as I um I was always grateful
for it.
Like it was never a negativething.
You know, did did some kids saycrappy things sometimes growing
up, sure, but like I I wouldn'thave changed it for the world.
And as you can imagine, as timewent on, like there I would

(17:18):
think about it differently ormore or more heavily in
different waves, you know,birthdays or holidays or
graduations or whatever.
Um but it was just kind ofthere, and it was more the
biggest thing was I just wantedmy birth mom to know that she
made the right choice.

(17:38):
Right?
It's not like it's like, oh, I Idon't like my family, I want to
find my no, like I couldn't havebeen in a better situation, but
I wanted her to know you you didthe right thing.

SPEAKER_05 (17:48):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (17:49):
And long story short, geez, it's probably it's
been about it'll be fourDecember's ago.
No, so four years ago Decemberthrough a series of events, I
won't bore you with the details,I came to find out who my birth
mother was, because it was aclosed adoption.
Okay, so but I came to find outwho, and then through an agency

(18:13):
reached out and it was like, no,no response, no response, no
response.
And finally they got a hold ofher and she's like, Okay, I'm
I'm open to this, but this is alot.
I I can we talk in a month?
Like this, I need to processthis, right?
And and they're telling me this.
I'm like, yeah, whatever sheneeds, of course.
Right?
So a month goes by, same thing.

(18:34):
Hey, can I have another month?
But long story short, um May of22, um, we met in person.

SPEAKER_05 (18:43):
Wow.

SPEAKER_02 (18:44):
And had a half-sister I didn't know
existed, and she was there.
And long story short, that'sbeen a part of my you know, most
recent chapter is getting toknow them, right?
An awesome little, you know,nephew and niece as as part of
all of this, and then um someextended family of of my birth
moms, and and man, it's justwe've just been building this

(19:06):
new relationship.
And so it's been um it's beenamazing, and I'm super grateful
for it.
But I think tying that all backinto the early days, even though
I didn't maybe it wasn'tconscious, but I I don't know, I
just felt like, man, I've justbeen given this gift of a life,
and I want to, I want to givethat to my own kids one day,

(19:26):
right?
And I think that was asubconscious driver of wanting
to be a dad, of of just knowingwhat I was given through my
parents and all that kind ofstuff.
So, so yeah, so that's been afun new chapter in my life is uh
is getting to know my my birthfamily, getting, you know,
hearing from my birth mom on mybirthday who I thought about
every birthday I can remember.

(19:47):
Right.
And and wanting to know, is sheokay?
Right?
Is she does she has she andshe's she is, she's awesome,
right?
It's been great to uh to get toknow them and and and bring them
into my my kids' lives and myparents' lives and all that kind
of stuff.
It's been really, reallyawesome.

SPEAKER_03 (20:03):
Tell me what was the driver uh to finally say, I'm
reaching out, I gotta go getlike what was the tipping point?

SPEAKER_02 (20:10):
I'll say to start, like it was initially, it was
like what was holding me backwas all the questions I was
asking that I could not answer.
Well, what if I reach out andthis?
Or what if we connect and that?
And I finally came to this pointwhere it's like the only thing I
can control is if I take thatnext step of really pursuing

(20:34):
this.
And it just got to a point, uhit's it's it's just got to a
point where it's like it's theright time, right?
It's the right time.
But then also it was, you know,again, how I came to know who
she was, someone else had takena step to reach out to me after
I had started my journey.

(20:55):
So it's kind of a combination ofthings lining up.
But it was um really the firstthing I did was like I just, you
know, signing up for ancestryand and can somebody a distant
cousin had connected there, andso just kind of taking these
conversations when they came.
Um, but at the end of the day, Ihad to realize the only thing I

(21:15):
can control is taking that nextstep and whatever is meant to be
will be.
Right.
Truly, I I think at one point II think I did, I genuinely just
laid it out before God, likeGod, I'll gonna do my, I'm gonna
do my piece, whatever's meant tobe will be.
And it just started to unfold.
And so I um, yeah, man, and I Iwouldn't change it for the

(21:38):
world.
And I know not every reunion islike mine has been.
I I'm respectful of that.
I it all happened.
If it would have happened 10years earlier, it still would
have been great, but I wasdifferent at 10 years ago, or 14
years ago at this point, right?
So I I believe it happened whenit was all again, all
everything, all the pieces werecoming together in terms of who

(22:00):
I was, who they were, theirplace in life at that point, my
place in life at that point.
It just all came together andit's been awesome.

SPEAKER_03 (22:09):
Wow.
That's um that's that's cool.
I mean, I can only imagine theum I can't imagine what like
your adopted mom would havesaid, or how she felt the
emotions up, you know, and thenthe range of emotions that your
birth mom felt.
Um, but then also just then Ialso can imagine how the
happiness she must have felt,your birth mom thinking, like,

(22:31):
man, I look at what a guy's gotgot a stuff together.
He's you know, it's like almostlike a weight off her shoulders,
I'd bet.

SPEAKER_02 (22:38):
No, and I appreciate that.
And yeah, trust me, I I tried tomake sure I was communicating
with my parents as much as Icould.
And um, because again, to me, itwas never this is a replacement.
It's like, no, this is anaddition.
And I'll never forget, um, youknow, it was when we had the
dates uh set to meet, and I justwent over to my parents and

(23:01):
we're sitting on their backpatio, and just I said, How are
you guys doing with all this?
And my daddy's like, it's good,you know.
And and my mom's like, uh, good.
I said, Okay, little hesitationthere.
What's going on?
And I've shared this, you know.
I actually for a little whilehad a podcast talking to people
who are adopted, so I've talkedabout this publicly, so I'm not

(23:23):
I'm not sharing anything out ofschool, but she said, I'm just
worried about sharing you.
And I said, I thank you forbeing honest.
I said, Let me be crystal clear.
This is not something that'slike, hey, mom, not gonna make
it home for Christmas becauseI'm going with my birth family.
Like I'm like, mom, you youyou've known me my whole life,

(23:45):
right?
You know, it's 40 plus years atthis point.
Like I'm yours, period.
This is an addition, right?
This is not a subtraction oranything like that.
I said, so please, just if as wemove through this, if you have
any concerns or you're feeling acertain way, please, let's talk
about it.
Please, that's all I can ask isthat we usually bring it up and

(24:07):
we talk through it.
And it's been it's been great.
You know, early on, my birth momand and my uh my half sister,
she they they came to a bigbarbecue at our house with all
of my family and extendedfamily.

unknown (24:19):
Wow.

SPEAKER_02 (24:19):
And it was again, it there it was it was tough on the
front end, but it was in a goodway of like my birth mom has
always wanted to be sorespectful of my family.
She's like, I don't, excuse me,I don't want to step on
anybody's toes or whatever.
And and you know, towards theend of the night, my mom went
over to her and she just startedtalking to her and she's like,
I'm so glad to meet you.

(24:40):
And it just kind of calmedeverything, right?
And they had a greatconversation and and all this
stuff.
And so it's just um it's beengood, but I was super focused on
please, let's communicate, let'stalk through this.
I don't want anybody to feelleft out or anything like that.
It's just let's talk through it.
And it's been it's been great.
But again, I I give my parentscredit on that because on the

(25:01):
found, I mean, they told mesince I was a little kid, if you
ever want to find your birthfamily, we'll help you.
Like I always knew they werethey were supporting that.

SPEAKER_05 (25:09):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (25:09):
And so it was um, yeah, I couldn't be more
grateful for how both sides havehandled it.

SPEAKER_03 (25:14):
So cool.
What um if you think about likethe values that your mom dad
taught you growing up thatyou've applied now in your own
life as a dad, tell me whatcomes to mind.

SPEAKER_02 (25:26):
Family first.
I just family first, period.
And you know, I had onegrandparent my whole life.
All the other three passed away,right, prior to me being born.
And my my grandmother set thattone.
Right?
She she retired.
So my mom stayed home when theygot me for I think about a year,

(25:47):
and my mom was gonna go back toum work.
And my grandmother said, I'm I'mgonna retire and I'll watch him.

unknown (25:56):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (25:56):
And I know not everybody has that opportunity,
I get that, but that was achoice my grandmother was able
to make.
So it's just like, yeah, I'dcome home and she was there, you
know, from school, she's there,right?
Like she was such a criticalpart of my life, and and and so
just seeing them live that.
And look, my parents, they couldhave easily gone a different

(26:16):
way.
My mom's dad died suddenly whenshe was 13.
My dad's dad died when he wasfour, and his stepdad died when
he was nine.
Right?
So they could have easily goneanother path, right?
And and man, they just always umdid what they they could to to
be there with us and for us.

(26:37):
Um so yeah, family first.
Um just just trying to to justbe a good person in the world,
right?
I learned a lot about, I mean,let's be honest, you know,
teachers and people working forthe state are not doing it for
the money.
Right?
So just that idea of how can youserve those around you, what

(26:57):
does that look like?
Being conscious of the greatergood and the greater community.
And I'm not saying that, youknow, it's perfect all the time,
right?
We all make mistakes, but just Ijust feel like they place that
in us of, you know, yeah, thinkabout the bigger picture here.
You know, what does this looklike?
How what you know, what what howcan how can we help those that
can't help themselves?

(27:19):
You know, and so that was um abig thing that I've tried to to
carry on.
Um, faith, right?
My dad is not Catholic, but hewas very supportive of my mom
and what she wanted for us.
And so that was a big thing, isour, you know, just our again,
not perfect, but going to churchand making that a part of our
lives and and and whatnot.

(27:40):
So really connecting withpeople.
And especially like I I love,you know, again, if we go to
visit, like they're zeroed in onus.
Right?
Like they, again, they they wantto see us, they want to to
connect with all of us.
My siblings and and our kidsnow, and you know, their
grandkids, and and they justwant to be a part of it, you

(28:01):
know.
So, um, you know, again, beingat our stuff, pri how they
prioritize things, right?
And even his grandparents, youknow, they're they can't make it
to everything, but they man,they make it to a lot.
Right?
They make it to a lot.
So I I've already planned out,like, man, I can't wait to be a
grandparent to go to you know,to my grandkids' stuff, right?
So so those are just a couplethings that come to mind that um

(28:24):
I I hope I've I've carried on.

SPEAKER_03 (28:28):
What's been the hardest part for you as a dad in
your journey?

SPEAKER_01 (28:32):
Um the times I've I've j made bad mistakes.
Um and it's it's it's uh justacknowledging it.

SPEAKER_02 (28:47):
Um trust me, I've apologized to my kids many, many
times, right, for when I Ididn't do things the right way.
Um but man, this is one of thesethings where I don't know why or
how it was there necessarily,but even when they were younger,
I would, I would think, how isthis interaction going to impact
them 20 years down the road?

(29:09):
How is this interaction going toimpact our relationship 20 years
down the road?
And so it's probably when how Ireacted or responded was not
going to positively fuel thosethings 20 years down the road.
That's when I I would I I Ihated that.
Yeah, I I would hate that partof it.

SPEAKER_01 (29:32):
Um but also man, like I it's it's been my
favorite role in my life.

SPEAKER_02 (29:40):
And so I I will say this it's been a lot more easy
and good than the hard stuff.
The hard stuff's been there.
But I've just I've just relishedin it, man.
I've I'm so grateful for it.

SPEAKER_03 (29:54):
Is I mean again, feel feel free to comfort what
you feel sharing, Jason, butlike is there Of what one of the
hard things that you wentthrough is that is something you
feel comfortable sharing thatyou really impacted you that
maybe might speak to another dadat home?

SPEAKER_02 (30:07):
Yeah, um there's times like I've lost my temper.
And the sad part was it hadnothing to do with them.
It had nothing to do with themor what they and now again, I'm
they may have made a mistake orthey may have done something
wrong.
I'm not saying that it was forno reason, but the volume uh or
the the level it got to was ahundred percent on me.

(30:31):
I was dealing with somethingelse, I was frustrated with
something else, I was scaredabout something else that I
allowed to impact how I handledthat situation with them, and
and that bums me out becausethey that's not on them, yeah,
right?
That and and it it is you know,there's there's very little in

(30:51):
this world we can control, butthat's one of them, right?
And so that's that's somethingthat I've had to look at, and um
it's weird because on the onehand, I believe there are zero
accidents, everything happensthe way it's supposed to happen,
but on the other hand, it'slike, damn, I could have handled
that better.
I should have handled thatbetter.
And um another thing too thatI'll I'll share, it's um

(31:17):
sometimes I think it took ustook me too long to realize I I
need to parent my son and myolder daughter differently.
Just yeah, you know, I in thoseor again, they were very almost
you know, under two years apart,right?
It's just like, well, wait, thisworks so well over here.
Why isn't it working over here?

(31:38):
And it's it's not my daughter'sfault.
She is who she is, right?
She came into the world the wayshe is, which I I wouldn't
change a thing, but I was tryingto force certain ways of of
parenting, and just I I just Iwish I would have realized that
sooner.
That there's no, we've gotta,you know, and by the way, I'm

(32:01):
not saying like a wholedifferent set of rules and all
what I'm but no, how we chooseto engage is up to us, right?
Just like relationship building.
Go ahead.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 (32:10):
I was gonna say just like relationship building in
life, you gotta meet peoplewhere they are, and 100%, you
know, and I think I would bewilling to bet your your journey
as a salesperson, sales leader,sales trainer, like I mean, I
that's why I'm obsessed with theword curiosity.
When we ask the right questions,you learn how to connect the
people.
And sometimes we we want to beright or we want to convince or
fix, you know, guilty, guilty,guilty.

(32:33):
Um, but sometimes you slow downand just realize maybe I'll
maybe asking a questiondifferently and then just
shutting the F up and lettingsomeone else talk and maybe
like, hmm, wow, I didn't knowthat perspective was there.

SPEAKER_02 (32:45):
100%.
And and that's where, again, I'mgrateful for the long-term
outcome.
Like, I she's just, I mean, Ilove spending time with her with
all my kids, of course.
And it's just like she and I,man, we can have some of the
deepest and uh most sternconversations in a great way.
We can really debate with eachother, we can really challenge

(33:05):
each other in a in a very goodand positive way.
So I'm thankful for for where itcame out.
Um, but yeah, I just wish Iwould have taken a step back and
just said, all right, yeah, howcould I approach this
differently based on how she'swired?
Right?
What might that look like?
And and um, yeah, so that'ssomething that that's been on my
mind over the years for sure.

SPEAKER_00 (33:27):
Hi, this is Kathy Ortone.
I'm the director of talentmanagement at CoWorks Staffing
Services.
Co-Works is one of the largeststaffing firms in the United
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field talent.
We are devoted to the successand growth of our employees and
our clients.
We are celebrating our 50thanniversary this year and are

(33:48):
proud to have a legacy oftreating people the right way,
doing the right things,supporting our communities, and
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Our team places candidates inadministrative, flight
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(34:10):
We had the pleasure of havingCasey Jacobs deliver a female
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And I have to tell you, it wasexceptional.
Casey is funny, he is engaging,and he is approachable.
What sets Casey apart is that hereally walks the walk.
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(34:31):
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He shared information about hispersonal life, about his family,
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One of the core elements of thestrategy he teaches.
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(34:53):
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If you want to learn more aboutcoworkstaffing, please visit our
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Now let's get back to thepodcast.

SPEAKER_03 (35:04):
Well, the world could use more of you and your
daughter being able to actuallydisagree and still love each
other and and not just shut downand well, I can't, I can't
learn.
It's like that's that was what Iwish the world we could we could
take what your family's doingand sprinkle it on everybody
else in the world because um youknow, with the divide and social
media and media, and you know,it's like you only watch one

(35:26):
channel, that's your views.
And you only want you want ifall your friends are this way,
well, and and I that's why Ilove you when you've said about
your your faith opinion.
Like I I'm a super, superspiritual dude.
I don't go to church.
It's not because I'm likemassively against it.
I just like my journey of faithis just it is what it is, and um

(35:47):
hasn't been because I've likeavoided church, but like I I
have um I've seen the other sideof faith sometimes where you
like I've had you know where youhave like very um sort of look
for it can be um we cosh how Isay this because I don't want to
offend anybody, but it'ssometimes it can be very
hypocritical.
You have one view and and a lotof judgment, a lot of judgment,

(36:09):
you know, and like to me, that'snot my my my spirituality.
Well, you just said love yourlove neighbor.
Like it doesn't matter what theylook like, if if they're nice,
and just because they don'tbelieve everything I believe or
do anything I believe doesn'tmean they're a bad person.

SPEAKER_05 (36:21):
Yep.

SPEAKER_03 (36:21):
You know, and um so I love that you you guys are you
said that because thatdefinitely spoke to me.

SPEAKER_02 (36:26):
Um you're hitting it on the head with that a couple
things.
It's that's funny.
With I do it with all of mykids, but especially my older
daughter, like sometimes she canget very locked in on a certain
idea or viewpoint.
Now, again, to her credit, she'sdone a lot of research, she's
really dug in on it.
But even if I agree with whatshe's saying, sometimes I will
try to talk on the other side tokeep her her mind open, right?

(36:50):
And I'll share with her, I'llsay, listen, sweetie, this isn't
about changing your mind basedon who you're talking to.
But if you ever get to a pointwhere you're like, I'm not even
gonna talk to them because theyview things differently, I said,
you then become part of theproblem.

unknown (37:04):
Right?

SPEAKER_02 (37:05):
So I said, I don't care how securely you believe
what you believe on something,that's beautiful.
I'm all for that.
But always be open to listeningto the other side, right?
Just just listen.
And so we talk a lot about that,but also what you've shared.
And again, let me be crystalclear.
I make a thousand mistakes aday, okay?

(37:25):
But something that really hasbroken my heart over the last,
you know, 10 years is thebehavior of the Christian
community.

SPEAKER_01 (37:34):
I I'm just gonna say it that broadly, right?

SPEAKER_02 (37:37):
And what again, if we I've had this conversation a
lot lately, if we simply behavedin a way that lined up with what
we claim to believe, it'd be adifferent world.
And somebody, I forget who, butsomebody challenged me with this

(37:58):
question years ago of whenyou're in, especially in a tough
spot, asking, what would loverequire of me in this situation?
Right?
And again, not always easy toimplement, but every time I've
asked myself that question, theanswer is a hundred percent
clear.
Because loving somebody can cantake a million different forms,
no question.
Right?

(38:18):
But it's like, man, what wouldthat look like?
And and I've been veryfortunate.
I keep trying to think how manyyears now, probably coming up on
20 years now.
I've known a gentleman who is hebecame my mentor.
Um, and I don't say thislightly, but truly the most
Christ-like person I know.

(38:39):
Not perfect, but as a husband,father, member of his community,
all this stuff, he lives it,right?
And I think it was early 2020when things were kind of
starting to hit the fan in a lotof different ways.
I'm talking to him, just lookingfor some guidance.
And by the way, let me let mejust make a side comment.
If you're a younger father,meaning with younger kids, a

(39:02):
newer father, if you can findsomeone that's further down the
road in that journey that hasoutcomes that you would like to
to go after, talk to them.
Right?
Talk to them.
Right.
This my mentor is is is one ofyou know a handful of people
that have really helped me shapemy way and you know, just seen

(39:24):
anyway.
So that was very helpful.
But at that point in early 2020,we're talking about stuff, and
he said, Listen, there's a lotgoing on right now that that
really does need to be addressedand and and and and figured out.
He said, But here's my guidancefor you.
He said, number one, look afteryour own heart first.
Because God wants our heart, andif if God has our heart,

(39:45):
everything else will flow fromthat, right?
He said, number two, look afterthe hearts of your family.
Are you guiding them in theright ways?
Are you helping them focus onthe right things?
And he said, number three, lookat your immediate circle of
influence and what can you dofor them?
He said, man, again, if all ofus focused on those three things

(40:08):
alone, what would the world looklike?
Right?
And so so I I just want tocomment on that because I have
to keep reminding myself thatwhen I get sad or or or stressed
or frustrated about how thingsare, I I try as quickly as
possible to bring it back.
Okay, what can I control?

SPEAKER_05 (40:25):
Yep.

SPEAKER_02 (40:26):
And I I pray for that every day.
God, please work through metoday.
Please help me be your light andlove in the world.

SPEAKER_04 (40:33):
Love it.

SPEAKER_02 (40:34):
Right?
What does that look like?
And again, that can look like amillion different things.
And trust me, I screw it upoften.
But we're all flawed humans.
Go ahead, Casey.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 (40:42):
I'll say we're all flawed humans.

SPEAKER_02 (40:44):
Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 (40:45):
We have that, we all have that in common.
And um my uh even like you know,I'm reading a have you heard
about the book called SisterJean?
Or you know Sister Jean is?

SPEAKER_02 (40:56):
Yes, I haven't read it, but I've heard of it
vaguely.

SPEAKER_03 (40:59):
So sister, so I was lucky enough to have got him
Seth Davis on my podcast acouple weeks ago.
Seth Davis is a uh verywell-known um CBS March Madness.
Well, uh great author, workedfor Sports Illustrated for
years.
Um we did a little uh he's gonnaread my book right now, and uh,
and his book, Sister Jean, isabout uh Sister Jean who's at
Loyola, Chicago, who's a hundredand like 103 years old.

SPEAKER_02 (41:22):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (41:22):
She still she still does um I mean, I literally I've
I've just started the book andI'm already like, oh my god, I
can't wait to do it.
And one of the one of thebiggest things that she talked
about out of the out of the gateis belief and and the power of
belief.
And I think that's somethingthat um I would talk to my kids
a lot about.
I learned the power of that wordat age 41.
I wish I would learned it inlike you know, nothing against

(41:45):
my mom or dad.
They did so many amazing things.
And but the word believe is Ithink such an undervalued word
that just immediately when youfind something to believe in,
and you can whether you and weall have gifts, so like find
something, and then it gives youconfidence, yes, conviction.
And um I I so I don't know.
I think when you were sayingthat, I I looked, I loaned over

(42:07):
and I saw Sister Gene.
I'm like, I gotta give her somelove here because she's
obviously you know, big Catholicfamily as well.
And um, and I think you know, Ithink when you said something
segment, it also made me thinkof this this phrase that came to
me, maybe call it spiritually orcall it just whatever, but it I
had this fit phrase I createdthat I said, Imagine if we all
listened to learn versus listento persuade, what would happen?

unknown (42:29):
Yep.

SPEAKER_03 (42:29):
And one of the best pieces of I best pieces of
advice Jason I got in my lifewas at age like 23, a leader
asked me, Do you want to beright or do you want to get what
you want?

SPEAKER_02 (42:37):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (42:39):
And I was the naive 23-year-old.
I said, I want both.
He's like, You can't, you gottapick one.
And I'm so grateful how I waswired through my parents,
through God, through coaches,that I was like, I want to get
what I want, which is means I'mchecking my ego.

SPEAKER_04 (42:51):
Yep.

SPEAKER_03 (42:52):
And um, keeping that thing in check, because we as
dads, one of the things I washopeful six almost seven years
ago when I created this podcastwas whether you're owning your
own consulting company like weboth do, or you're the lead play
by play guy for the Kraken, oryou're this this or that, or
CEO, it doesn't I with all duerespect, dads, it doesn't
matter.
It does not matter.

(43:13):
It's cool what you do, but itdoesn't matter.
What matters is that we've allhad the same job.
We all have dad, and we all havethe same capabilities.
We all are have the ability tolisten, we all have ability to
show up, we all have ability toapologize, which I love that
you've done.
Great gift to teach your kids.
I've done episodes on that.
Power vulnerability.
Um, so uh I don't know, you yousaid a lot there that really

(43:34):
spoke to me, man.
And um uh I think there's I wantto be sensitive with time here
because I know we try to keepthese episodes to to a little
under an hour.
As you reflect um on theadoption journey and now meeting
birth mom and then raising kidsand being raised by parents who

(43:55):
adopted you who loved you, loveyou like you're their own.
Like what's some of the biggesttakeaways that have helped you
be like maybe a better versionof yourself as a dad as you
reflect back?

SPEAKER_02 (44:05):
One of the biggest things that came about when I
was, you know, going down thepath of meeting.
Um, and it's funny, this I'mgetting some more memories back
as we're talking about this kindof what what pushed things to
get there, and then I'll, youknow, and I'll reflect here.
But um there was a show,television show called This Is

(44:26):
Us, and I don't know if you sawit or remember it, but it was
yeah, so that they had thetriplets and one passed away,
and they ended up adopting youknow a child at the hospital and
all this, and awesome, awesomeshow.
And um there was an episode,it's been over for a while, so
spoiler alert, I'm sorry ifsomebody hasn't seen it.

(44:48):
But there was an episode wherethe adopted son kind of goes on
this journey to learn more abouthis birth mom because he thought
one thing and come to find outshe actually lived a long life,
all this stuff, and at the endhe has this vision of like being
right with her, like you know,they're talking face to face,

(45:11):
him as an adult, her as a andand some things were said and
all this, and it ends, and Ilose it.
Like I'm watching it with mywife, and I lose it.
Now, a side note, I cry all thetime.
That's something my kids rip meabout.
Hey, me too.
Yeah, it's probably a 20 to 1ratio in terms of how much I cry

(45:33):
compared to my lovely bride.
But so, so it's not that thecrying was was out of sorts,
it's it was the volume, and likeI'm like, okay.
And what I came to realize,which reflecting, I wish I would
have been more open to this, mywhole life.
When anybody ever asked me aboutmy adoption, my answer was, I'm

(45:55):
so grateful for it.
I'm so thankful for it.
Wouldn't change a thing, whichwas all true.
What I finally was honest aboutat 41, 42 years old was and it's
really hard.
I never was willing to say thatbecause I didn't want to

(46:16):
disrespect, this is my belief onit, right?
I didn't want to disrespectanybody that was involved in it,
whether it was my family, mybirth, anybody, but I had to
kind of finally be honest, likethere are some challenges to
this uh that I had notaddressed, that I was not
willing to even acknowledge.

(46:39):
And so as I look back, I thinkthat's something because again
we are only gonna be the thequality of the dad and the
husband that we are is directlytied to who we are as an
individual.
And and so if we've got someunresolved things or if we've

(47:00):
got some challenges we have notworked through, it will impact
those roles.
And I I looking back, again,it's I I'm I'm mixed because uh
again, nothing happens byaccident, so it's like
everything's shaken out, but Iguess that would be my guidance,
knowing that I can't do it over,that would be my guidance is

(47:20):
work on yourself, especially ifthere's some stuff in there,
right?
Be the best individual you canbe so that you can serve your
wife, your family, your kids,your community at a higher
level.

SPEAKER_05 (47:36):
Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 (47:36):
Sadly, I I I mean, you know, we all know the the
the self-work has just shotthrough the roof over the years,
but sadly sometimes I feel likeit falls short at just doing it
for themselves.
Right?
Like I just need to work on mefor me, and I need to be happy
and all that.
Okay, my thing is no, let's bethe best we are capable of being

(47:58):
so that we can serve thosearound us at a higher level.
Right?
I have a a very good friend nowthat that started as a client of
mine that he's on the front endof this journey of being a dad.
He and his wife just had theirbaby, you know, a handful of
months ago.
And he and I were talking theother day, and I as I'm you know
answering his questions andsharing ideas, I'm like,

(48:20):
literally, thank God I've askedsome of these questions 15 years
ago.
Thank God I've tried to be thebest I and again, I screw up
every day.
This is I I've not gotten itright all the time, but because
I had tried to do that, I nowcan show up better for him,
right?
Which will impact hisrelationship with his son now
and future kids if they havemore, right?

(48:42):
And which will impact theircommunities.
So I guess just um as I reflect,yeah, that's that would be a
piece of guidance is what canyou do to be the best version of
yourself so that you can servethose around you at a higher
level?

SPEAKER_03 (48:55):
You're sending the elevator back down, my man.
Yep.
I think that's what we all cando.
And we all have we all have thefact that we're flawed 100%.
But uh I think if there's waysto be a little bit more curious
in life, uh apologize a littlebit more, smile a little bit
more, even cry a little bitmore.
Like I'm I am I love you saidthat.
I my kids make fun of me all thetime in a good way, and I don't

(49:18):
get sense, you know.
I think it's I'd rather them seethat that one day they they when
they are gonna have their bigcrowd, like, hey, if dad's
always on this, what why can't Ido it?
You know?
Um 100%.
If you were to um summarize uhin in a couple of words or
themes, Jason, that's thatreally helped you and your wife
um you know create and and coachand mentor and love uh you know,

(49:43):
three great three great kids.
What are what tell me what aresome um some themes or values
that have come to mind, maybethat you haven't shared yet?

SPEAKER_02 (49:50):
Let them fail in uh in a safe environment so that
when they get in an unsafeenvironment, they know how to
handle themselves.
Make the hard decisions now thatwill help them be great members
of their society when they'reolder, right?
Self-sufficient adults.

(50:11):
And this is something I sharedwith that that friend of mine
last time.
It's not necessarily aboutquantity of time, but quality.
Right?
When you are with them, whatdoes that look like?
Even if it's not as much time asyou would like, right?
Because yeah, you can spend alot of time with kids, but if
you're staring at your phone,right?

(50:31):
If you're if you're distracted,what does it matter?
So don't put the pressure onyourself of being there all the
time.
I see that a lot with youngerdads now.
They feel like they've got to bethere for everything.
If you can, cool, but if not,it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 (50:43):
Like five minutes running around the house might
be the highlight of their day.
Right?

SPEAKER_02 (50:49):
So just you know, and and just just love like just
loving them.
And I know that's super broad,but man, just loving them, which
includes discipline, whichincludes accountability, which
includes saying no, whichincludes if they're you know

(51:12):
redirecting, if they're goingdown the wrong path, whatever
that may be.
But um, but yeah, just justloving on them to the best of
your ability and and work onyourself so that you can serve
them at a higher level.

SPEAKER_03 (51:24):
Love it, ma'am.
It's gold.
I think what I love you saidthere too is like it it's love
doesn't always be the yes, man.
It's like, no.
I don't believe we're lucky withwith with good, well-behaved,
well-balanced kids that'screated through hard work and
effort.
And you know, I used to jokewith I used to find this kind of

(51:44):
funny when I was younger,younger dad, I'd have somebody
say, Man, you're so lucky.
You're you you can go to dinner,your kids are so well behaved.
I'm like, Do you think it'sluck?
Yeah, you know, it's it's if youlet your kid act like a complete
maniac at home at dinner table,what what do you think?
That's not your that's not theirfault, it's your fault.

SPEAKER_02 (52:03):
Yep.

SPEAKER_03 (52:04):
And you are just like in sales and leadership, I
talk about you are what youallow, we're we are what we
allow as parents.

SPEAKER_02 (52:09):
Yep, 100%.
And and that's um, you know,it's hard being a parent.

SPEAKER_01 (52:16):
It's effing hard being a great parent.

SPEAKER_02 (52:20):
Right?
Because you have to make toughdecisions, right?
You have to sacrifice, you haveto do things that aren't popular
at times, right?
So just but at the end of theday, we can only lead in
accordance with with our levelof of where we're at as a

(52:45):
person.
So what what can we do tocontinually raise that up and
and uh and again serve them at ahigher at a higher level?

SPEAKER_03 (52:54):
So good, man.
Talk to us about um how you gotinto the wide world of of
selling and and uh let's I wantto learn more about your work as
a um sales leadership coach.
I think we we share similarcareers, and I actually you know
what's funny, man.
I've actually had more people onthat do exactly what I do
because I'm in a mindset ofabundance.

SPEAKER_02 (53:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (53:13):
And I want to learn more, and and let's make sure
that others learn more about youand and hopefully the right
person listened to this thingand you get a you you get
someone who hires you out of it.
That would be advanced.

SPEAKER_02 (53:23):
Well, that's very sweet.
I I appreciate that.
Real quick, my wife and I are myfirst job was in San Francisco,
where we both needed to workjust to survive, right?
It's pricey now, but it waspricey back then.
And we had set out a goal thatthat we wanted her to be able to
stay home when we started havingkids.
And I had a great friend whofrom time to time would say,

(53:44):
Hey, come come work for me.
And he was in healthcare, and Iwas like, nah, no, no.
Well, she gets pregnant, and I'mlike, man, maybe that's it.
So I talked to him again, andand and it worked out.
He they moved us to Chicago, andthat was my first sales job.
I was terrible, but I liked it.
Right?
Terrible, but I liked it.
So, long story short, um that'swhat literally got me into it,

(54:08):
is it was out of necessity.
And my wife has been able tostay home ever since.
I thank God for that.
So, at any rate, I'm in there,you know, with them in Chicago.
They move us to Indiana, we'rethere, moved to another company
in that took us to Charlotte.
And I just wanted to get better,I wanted to improve.
So, real quick, true story, Isigned up for an eight-week uh

(54:31):
Dale Carnegie course in sales.
About a month before that wassupposed to start.
I get a call.
They said, Hey, the bulk of thatclass was one company, they've
pulled out, we're shutting theclass down.
Call my boss.
Here's what happened.
Have anything else?
He's like, Well, I keep hearingabout this Sandler on the radio.
Long story short, call the twoSandler guys at the time,

(54:53):
connect with Jim Dunn, and he,you know, I started working with
him, paying out of my own pocketwhen I couldn't afford it.
Jim can attest to that.
And was a client for 12 yearsand wanted to make a shift
professionally.
I was at that company that tookus to Charlotte that entire 12
years.
So six years in their salesprogram, six years in their
sales leadership program, whichthe company paid for that when I

(55:16):
got into the leadership program,which I'm super grateful for.
And just wanted to make a shift.
So I looked at the business sideof it.
Hey, what does it look like topartner with Sandler, buy a
franchise from them?
And yeah, made the jump inDecember of uh of 19 and four
four months before COVID, right?
Good timing.
Um, but man, it's been a dream.
It has been a dream.

(55:36):
The Sandler network, all thegreat people I get to learn
from, all the awesomeindividuals and companies I've
been able to work with.
So, so yeah, so it's I've lovedit.
Um little over 20 years now insales sales leadership.
I work anywhere, I've workedwith individuals, you know,
startups, you know, mid-sizedcompanies up to billion-dollar
organizations, and everywhere inbetween.

(55:57):
And so I I love it.
And I believe none of us canreach our full potential without
outside help, myself included.

SPEAKER_05 (56:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (56:06):
So I love working with organizations that are
looking for every edge possibleto be successful, right?
Even companies that I've workedwith, they've been pretty
successful before we cometogether.

unknown (56:16):
Right?

SPEAKER_02 (56:17):
But they're just like I I relate it to Tom Brady.
Tom Brady never said, ah, fiveSuper Bowls is enough.
That's good.
No, he never stopped improving.
Right.
And that's the those are thetypes of people and companies I
love working with.
So um, yeah, so it's been a it'sbeen a dream, and uh, I'm
grateful for the clients I'vehad and have now.

(56:37):
And and uh yeah, so uh, youknow, not nothing industry
specific.
It's you know, B2B is what I'vetypically done.
But yeah, every uh everyorganization out there that I've
worked with, it's been it's beena dream, and uh I'm thankful for
it for sure.

SPEAKER_03 (56:51):
So good.
If people want to learn moreabout you or connect with you,
um Jace, tell me what's the bestway they can find you.

SPEAKER_02 (56:57):
Yeah, so um I'll just you know, my my website is
go.sandler.com forward slash C Cfor like Kwood Consulting.
So that's my website.
Uh email jason.kwood c A Y W O OD at Sandler.com.
Uh you can find me Jason Kwoodon LinkedIn.

(57:18):
And uh and yeah, those are goodplaces to uh to start.
But um no, I appreciate you,appreciate you putting that out
there.

SPEAKER_03 (57:24):
You bet, man.
We'll make sure that's allconnected and linked in the show
notes.
Um you know what I love abouthaving a podcast for dads is
one, um I come with a blanksheet of paper, I leave with the
full page of notes.
Um I don't like doing a lot ofprep before we talk to somebody
because it steals a lot of thecuriosity away and doesn't allow

(57:45):
me to listen.
And I'm sure people are homelike, yeah, but you didn't ask
this, you didn't ask that.
Probably right.
I'm sorry if I didn't.
So message me, send me a note onInstagram or send me a note on
LinkedIn if there's a question Ididn't ask, you'd like to ask,
or reach out to Jason directlyand ask him.
But um, I think what's it whatit does, it just it focuses on
slowing down and realize that Ithink it's it's more of when we

(58:06):
when we shift our mindset of tocuriosity versus judgment, like
Ted Lasso says, or be you know,or shapes our mindset to
curiosity versus like trying toconvince, so much more freeing,
everybody.
And it it you don't have to beright.
Um and you learn, I learnedsomething from every dad I talk

(58:26):
to.
So I want to say, I'm not thankyou for your time.
Um, I will say now it's time togo on what I call a lightning
round, Jason.
Which I am going to show you thenegative hits of taking too many
hits in college, not bong hits,but football hits.
Your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can,
and my job is to hopefully get agiggle out of you.
All right, true or false?
You won the CrossFit games in2018.

(58:48):
False.
Okay.
True or false, you have a theUtah State CrossFit record for
most weighted uh deadliftpull-ups.

SPEAKER_02 (58:56):
Uh false.

SPEAKER_03 (58:57):
Okay.
Um, true or false.
Um, you rumor has it that youare gonna become the next Boise
State Bronco for the mascot.

SPEAKER_02 (59:05):
Yeah.
False.

SPEAKER_03 (59:08):
Okay.
Last book you read was Um TheOne Thing.
Okay.
Uh favorite song in your phonethat might surprise all your
clients.

SPEAKER_02 (59:20):
Oh, um, I'm forgetting the title, but it is
an Ariana Grande song.
Having uh having two daughters,you know, they they expose me to
good stuff.
And I'll add on top of that, Iam a Taylor Swift nut.
I am such a huge fan of Oh, youwould not believe.
I'm very impressed with her.

SPEAKER_03 (59:38):
Yeah, I I like Swifty.
I also like Justin Timberlake.

SPEAKER_02 (59:41):
Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 (59:42):
Timberlake is the man.
And um, yeah, he's freaking sogood at what he does.
Uh, favorite 80s comedy movie ofall time is?

SPEAKER_02 (59:50):
Oh, um, Christmas Vacation.

SPEAKER_03 (59:53):
Solid, solid choice.
Um, if I was to come to yourhouse for dinner tonight, what
would we have?

SPEAKER_02 (59:58):
Uh, we're having pot roasts tonight.
Actually, in veggie.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:01):
Sounds good.
Uh, if you were going onvacation right now, you and your
wife, sorry, kids, you'restaying home.
Where are you taking your wife?

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:07):
Um, Hawaii.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:08):
Okay.
Um, if there was to be a bookwritten about your life, tell me
the title.
Keep going.
Okay, keep going.
Now keep going is killing it.
Hulu, Netflix, they're alltrying to argue to make sure
that this they get this movieout.
You're now the casting director.
Who's gonna start Jason Kwood inthis critically acclaimed hit
new movie?

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:29):
Oh, Channing Tatum, of course.
There you go.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:33):
Okay, and then last and most important question,
tell me two words that woulddescribe your wife.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:38):
Absolutely amazing.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:40):
Boom.
Lightning round's over.
We both giggled.
Um, my questions make zero senseas normally do.
Uh, I'm gonna give you the winjust because you're a nicer guy
than me.
And um man, I appreciate, I soappreciate everything you've
shared with us today.
I hope, I hope there's anotherthe the call God, call universe,
call whatever, but there's thethe right dad or the right
person to listen to this thatheard Jason's story that can

(01:01:02):
just share the episode.
There's so much gold in what youshared today about just being
open, being vulnerable, beinghonest, being open, like the way
you communicate, I think is sucha gift that hopefully someone
receives.
Um, because I I think it's justreally awesome how you how
you've shared what your yourjourney and openly shared it,
even though you and I have onlymet twice.
So I'm very, very grateful foryou and your time.

(01:01:23):
And I wish you and your familyum blessings for in 2025 as we
finish this year off, man.
But I I I'm grateful our pathsacross, and I hope that we get a
chance to meet in person in thefuture.
That'd be that'd be awesome.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:35):
No, I love it.
And truly, thank you for allyou're doing.
Um, and you know, similar prayerfrom my side that uh every
episode you do finds someone.
And I know it has and I know itwill.
And uh, and yeah, just all thedads out there are soon to be
dads.
Just just keep going, keep doingyour thing.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:53):
That's right, man.
All right, appreciate your time,man.
Have a great week.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:55):
Thanks, man.
You too.
Take care.