An Eagles Fan, A Surgeon, and A Dad—Now Taking the Most Important Calls

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What happens when an orthopedic surgeon raised by immigrant parents decides to redefine success on his own terms? Dr. Jessy Sekhon takes us on a remarkable journey from his father's humble beginnings in an Indian village without electricity to his own pivotal decision to restructure his thriving medical practice for the sake of his family.

Jessy's father studied under makeshift onion-string lights in cornfields, working tirelessly toward education as his only escape from poverty. This relentless work ethic carried through generations as Jesse's parents pushed academic excellence above all else. While this foundation propelled Jesse to Northwestern and UCLA and ultimately a successful surgical career, something was missing in his own approach to fatherhood.

The turning point came when Jesse's two-hour commute meant missing his son's baseball practice. When his wife offered to help warm up their son instead, the boy's response hit like a thunderbolt: "Sorry mom, it's just not the same." Those six words catalyzed a complete reassessment of priorities, leading Jessy to negotiate a new work arrangement that allowed him to be physically present for school drop-offs, pick-ups, and those irreplaceable moments of connection.

Through honest reflection, Jesse reveals his ongoing work to develop patience and acceptance as a father. He shares how he's learned to apologize to his children when he falls short, modeling accountability and emotional intelligence. His approach balances providing opportunities his immigrant parents couldn't afford him while ensuring his children remain grounded and grateful.

Whether you're balancing a demanding career with family life or wrestling with how your own upbringing shapes your parenting, Jessy's story demonstrates that fatherhood isn't defined by perfection but by presence. 

Join us for a conversation that bridges cultures, generations, and reminds us that sometimes our greatest success is simply being there when our children need us most.

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
Hey, everybody, it's CaseyJaycox with the quarterback dad
cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:25):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.

(00:45):
Well, hey, everybody, it'sCasey Jaycox with the
Quarterback Dadcast.
We are in season six.
I'm very grateful for today.
I'm grateful for the chance tospeak to our next guest, who I
actually met through his wife ata conference, which is actually
a really cool story.
Our guest, though, he's adoctor we're going to learn all
about that an orthopedic, buthe's a doctor we're going to
learn all about that Anorthopedic but he's a really

(01:07):
hands-on dad.
We're going to hear about thewhy behind that.
He went to Northwestern, sohe's a Wildcat.
He also went to UCLA, so he'salso a Bruin.
But most importantly, he is adad.
And how I met him and heardabout his story was through his

(01:28):
wife, who shared a story abouttheir daughter and a video which
is one of the cutest andgenuine and authentic videos
I've seen.
And I somehow convinced, uh,our next guest, um Jesse's say
con to to let to get this videoout in the world.
And she was like no, I'm notdoing it.
And then I somehow convincedher and then her LinkedIn blew
up and she had all thesecomments and they said, oh my
God, this is the best thing ever.
It was actually kind of cool tosee her try it.
But long-winded intro,everybody, we're here to talk to

(01:49):
Jesse the dad and we'relearning about how he's working
hard to become the ultimatequarterback or leader of his
household.
So, without further ado, mrSaikhan, welcome to the
Quarterback Dadcast.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Thank you for having me Pleasure to be here.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah, you bet.
Well, we always start out withgratitude, so tell me how.
What are you most grateful foras a dad today?

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Well, two things to be very grateful for.
One is a dad, and as a doctor,I'm always grateful for just the
kids' health.
You know that's a big part ofmy life and and just for them to
be healthy is the number one.
And then the second thing I'mvery grateful for that may not
necessarily pertain to the kidsthis year, is I just got back
from Orleans where myPhiladelphia Eagles won the
Superbowl.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Let's go.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
So I was down there and and just got back and that
was definitely a bucket listitem.
I went with some buddies that Igrew up with but you know,
walking around the Superbowlthere I was like God willing we
go again.
It'll be a family trip.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
I was lucky enough to .
I was.
I went in 2006 when theSeahawks lost and then I went in
2013 with my son and my wifeand we saw the Seahawks won
their first Superbowl and bucketlist.
Man, I'll never no regrets, ohyeah.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
It's you know, and it's you know we talk about,
like you know, our husbands andour wives and how you know we
have that kind of mutualteamwork going.
She, she pushed.
We talk about, like you know,our husbands and our wives and
how you know we have that kindof mutual teamwork going.
She pushed me.
She's like, look, you're adiehard Eagles fan and I'm on
the computer and you knowtickets aren't cheap and hotels
aren't cheap.
And it was a last minute thingand I was just like, ah, this
kind of hurts.
She's like, just do it.

(03:20):
She's like you don't spend anymoney on yourself, you don't.
You know you don't treatyourself.
You.
You know you kind of dedicateto the family, like do something
for yourself.
And she pushed me to it and uh,it was a hard pill when I, when
I hit submit, but man, what atime and definitely no regrets.
Uh is unbelievable.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
All right.
Well, congrats to you guys.
We're everybody we're recording.
In February this episode willcome out, um, maybe in a month
or so, Um, what I'm grateful foris my son's coming home
tomorrow from college, and for,for those that have gone through
sending a kid to college Jesse,I warn you, my man it's uh, it

(03:59):
is brutal, but it's brutal.
But it's also so cool to seethem spread their wings and then
they come home for Christmasand you like, oh, he's back, and
then they fricking, he's goneagain.
So it's been six weeks, Um anduh.
So we're so excited to see himtomorrow and it's going to be,
if he's home, for my wife'sbirthday, his girlfriend's
birthday, Um, my daughter twobig high school playoff games

(04:21):
this week, so she's going to,he's going to see those.
So it's going to be a pact.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
How many days is he going to be here?

Speaker 2 (04:26):
He'll be here till Sunday.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Okay, all right, that's.
That's going to be a pact in atrip for him.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
This can be awesome.
Yeah, we can't wait.
I don't know if he's moreexcited to see us or his dogs.
So, well, cool.
Well, you are also the firstguest in the podcast to wear
scrubs, so I feel like youshould learn something.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
I just got back from work not too long ago, so I want
to play the part you take it'slike these are our scrubs.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Oh, are they.
I love that one liner.
I can't remember what moviethat's from, but okay, tell me
about the, the huddle, tell meabout the squad um.
Share with our listeners.
How did you and your bride meetand tell us a little bit about
your inner huddle, your kids.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yeah, well, I mean, she knew my wife is definitely
CEO, general manager, president.
All of that wrapped into one.
We met when I was in myresidency.
In kind of a pseudoembarrassing but funny story, I
met her on my God, that was my26th birthday at a club in

(05:31):
Detroit and we had a mutualfriend introduce us towards the
end of the night, filling mydrinks a little bit, and she
just came up and she said youknow, we know each other through
that and I was just literallytaken aback and so she had some
niceties and she's like allright, well, it was nice meeting
.
I was like well, hold ontimeout.
I was like you have to give meyour number.

(05:56):
Like you can't.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
She's like well, I don't really give out my numbers
to guys, I just met.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
I was like, okay, fine, don't you know?
Through the craziness of theclub she's like we're going to
go to the Starbucks on such andsuch road and I was like I don't
really know where that is.
I was like just give me yournumber, otherwise I'm going to
get lost.
So she gave me the number andthat was a Friday, and then
Saturday I called her and I saidlook, there's supposed to be
some three-day rule that you'renot supposed to call after until

(06:21):
three days.
I was like I'm calling, we'regoing to a movie tomorrow.
Um, wow and uh and the rest ishistory.
Yeah, we just uh that was, youknow, dated the residency got
married in, uh, towards the endof my residency in detroit.
Um, spent a year apart when Iwas in la, but she'd go back and
forth.
And then, uh, they moved to newyork wow, so yeah she, she's,

(06:43):
she's the rock.
She, you know, holds us alltogether, she's super supportive
and, uh, just a really goodperson with a great heart.
Um, so she, she's running theshow.
And then, uh, I got, uh, my twolittle ones.
Well, not so little anymore.
My son is Sean.
He's 13,.
Uh, just super warm kid and andjust a smile that just lights

(07:04):
up the room.
He's big into basketball andsingularly focused on basketball
.
So we just have really greatconversations about sports and
things of that nature.
And you know, you get so caughtup in the day to day of, you
know, raising your kids andschool and this and that.
That, you know, sometimes youdon't realize what the kids

(07:25):
impact are until somebody elsetells you.
And so we were with somefriends of ours and both the mom
and the dad said you know whattheir son said, said the nicest
thing about Sean, he's like whenSean comes into school in the
morning, if he's happy, we'reall happy and we have a great
day, and when he's not in a goodmood, then we don't have.

(07:47):
We're always not in such a goodmood.
Whatever his aura is, it'spervasive, and so just a real
special kid.
And then my daughter, simi, isturning 10 tomorrow and just
super, super special, justreally into all kinds of stuff.
She's an artist, she likes todraw and do tons of art, she
plays the piano and she has aknack for sports also.
So softball and basketball arebig on her list of sports.

(08:10):
So she's just kind of, you know, does, does it all and does it
with a smile and just you know,just real.
Two special kids that were justso grateful.
Sometimes you know you have toget that 36,000 foot view of
just kind of how special theyare, because you kind of get
lost up in the grind of the dayto day.
So sometimes you step back andyou're like, wow, we're really

(08:32):
lucky parents.
So, yeah, that's, that's thecrew, that's the team.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Well, you have some jealous dads out there that
they're like wait a minute.
Can you rewind this?
Because I hear your wife sentyou to the Super Bowl and
convinced you like, like wives.
If you're like, wait a minute,can you rewind this?
Because did I hear your wifesent you to the Super Bowl and
convinced you Like wives ifyou're?

Speaker 1 (08:50):
listening.
Take advice from Shino.
What an angel.
I mean, I was beyond lucky tohave her in so many ways, and
you know that's how she is.
She's like look, how could younot go to the Super Bowl?
She's like this is your team?

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Good question.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
You know and you not go to the Super Bowl.
She's like this is your team,we're fortunate enough to have
the means to do it.
She's like if you don't clickthat button, I'm going to.
She pushed me.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Was Sean jealous?

Speaker 1 (09:16):
He was when the Eagles won the NFC Championship.
I get a text.
He's like Dad, we should do afather-son trip to the Super
Bowl.
I was like we're going to NewOrleans.
Like Dad, we should do afather-son trip to the Super
Bowl.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
I was like oh, Get a few sales.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
I was like, we're going to New Orleans and you
know we always do a way tripwith some of my buddies.
We've been Eagles fans since wewere little kids.
I was like this year, let me doit with these guys because this
has been in the making.
I was like, but sure you knowwe'll do it again.
The other thing too, by the way, is and I told him this because
you know I struggle with, youknow being able to do a lot of

(09:48):
things, the kids being able todo a lot of things, because we
have the means and you know notgiving it to them all so quick.
You know, like you know you're13.
If and I'd said thisspecifically you, you, you peak
at the Super Bowl what else isthere?

(10:08):
I know the feeling dude.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
So when Ryder, our son, was seven, his first NFL
game, jesse, was the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Oh my goodness at seven.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
And he's the biggest diehard.
So we wrapped this up asChristmas, his birthday, easter
and we wrote a letter to him andhe opened it up and we saw the
video and he saves it.
He goes.
He was like here's theopportunity, but it'll be gone
before you know it If any ofthese things happen.
And we literally made him signlike an agreement with this type

(10:39):
thing and I love that hesprinted off the couch, gave me
a hug.
I still can feel it as I meanhe's that was 11 years ago and,
um, we had, I really worriedabout that, cause I was like
this is we were too verygrateful to be had the means to
be able to go do it and but Iwas like I don't want any
regrets, guys at diehard Hawksand and so for us it, it made
sense of time and worked out.

(11:00):
And he's he, he jokes that theone, we the next year.
We didn't go, obviously becauseI didn't like that's not normal
to go back to back.
And so when he, when he waslike now, he was like what eight
?
And he bawled his eyes out whenthey lost.
He's like dad, I'm so glad if Iwas your now at 18, I would
probably would not have beensafe to society knowing that

(11:21):
what happened, and so he laughedexactly, exactly it's like
memories.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
I mean your buddies, you'll you know and, and you
know, to be fair, and I, andagain it's what I struggle with
a lot, because you know, growingup I didn't really have much,
and these kids have a lot, um,and I want them to have
experiences and all these things, but then if they get too much
or too, it comes too easy andthere's no appreciation for it,

(11:46):
um.
And so the other thing too isyou know he's more of a
basketball guy and so you knowhe for his birthday.
He.
He's a Clippers fan.
I don't know how that happened,but, um, he's like I always
wanted to to see the Clippersplay in LA and his birthday's in
August.
We don't really get to do muchbecause there's nobody around
and so he didn't really have abirthday party.
He's like Dad, you know, if wecan make this happen, just

(12:08):
father-son trip to a basketballgame.
And so you know we did that andI told him this time I said you
know we will do this, and I waslike you know, I know you like
the Eagles, but you're notdiehard, so let's earn it, you
know.
Let's let's, you know, do onething at a time.
But yeah, it's a challenge, youknow I want them to enjoy it, I
want them to do that, but Idon't.
The problem is giving it tothem all at once.

(12:32):
You know kind of want to workup to it, just to make the
experiences that much morespecial.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
And then you keep them grounded and humbled, and
that's a perfect segue Cause.
So everybody, I usually don'tget the chance to talk to my
guests twice Usually it's it'sfirst time, but we connected in
December Cause he was like waita minute, what am, what am I
signing myself up for here?
And so Jesse was grateful to tojust get to know me a little
bit and I and I learned a littlebit about him.
So I'm going to ask youquestions.

(12:55):
I learned before, so I knowwhen we talked in December, we
talked about like, making surewe keep our kids humble,
grounded, keep that resilience,great skill sets in life you
talked about you know where, youknow where, your family, some
of the how you got to Americaand some of these stories which
I was like blown away by.
So I'd love to take us back towhat was life like growing up
for you and a little bit aboutthe life lessons your parents

(13:19):
taught you.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, it's interesting.
I mean, I guess those lifelessons were, you know, started
even before I was born.
I mean, my dad grew up in asmall village in India.
There's no electricity, but hisbrother realized that the only
way to get out of the villagewas education.
You know, they just singularlyfocused on my dad and you know

(13:46):
he studied and he would be outin the fields, like in the
cornfields, and they didn't haveelectricity.
But he thought, if he, you know, tied up some onions on a
string, that that could be alight bulb for him, and he would
just like make this clearing inthe fields and he would just
study.
And so you know he had that workethic and you know his family
was exceedingly poor.
There was nothing and like inthe villages in those days in

(14:09):
the 50s.
People would take your land,and there was just.
There was so much strife goingon in those times that they knew
that the education was the onlyway out, and so him and my mom
had an arranged marriage in the70s, and my mom's family
happened to be she's Indian also, but had been in Canada for
some time, and so they moved toToronto where I was born in 76.

(14:36):
And then moved to right outsidePhilly for work and you know the
immigrant experience, as youmay have heard, is different.
You know he was not like andhe's when you came from nothing
and now you're in the States,you know and you're just trying
to earn money, full stop.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
And he was an engineer and he just worked, you
know, and he was afraid that ifhe didn't and we didn't have
money then, then you know whatwould he have?
And it wasn't even like moneyhungry, it was like money saving
, like super frugal guy.
And you know, he's an engineer,he's in a new country, he
doesn't necessarily know thecultures and the sport, you know

(15:15):
none of that stuff, and so butone thing that he always told us
is like you know, we need tosave money for your college.
If there's anything that youneed related to books or
anything like that, he's like Iwill spend it.
And so this was like I don'tknow 86.
And he bought the entireEncyclopedia Britannica
collection, which was like$3,000 in those days, and I was

(15:37):
like I don't, we haveencyclopedias at school, you
don't need to buy.
He's like no, he's like this, Iwill spend this.
We surround myself with allthese books and stuff.
So my upbringing was prettymiddle class and it was just
watching him work, and so fromthat I got the concepts of work

(16:05):
ethic.
He was a perfectionist, so hehad to do everything exactly,
perfectly.
But on the flip side, weweren't going to games, we
weren't watching sports togetherand so I kind of did a lot of
that alone.
But I'm really fortunatebecause my dad was this quiet,
or is a quiet engineering typeimmigrant.
My mom super gregarious, superoutgoing, tons of friends, you

(16:28):
know, dancing at parties andstuff like that, and so I got
the best of both.
You know I got my dad's kind ofwork ethic and you know his
intellect but my mom's socialnature, and so I remember
growing up and be like man.
How lucky am I.
You know that that I got thebest of both.
And then you know how thatplays into being a dad is.

(16:53):
You know you pick and choose.
You know like I want the kidsto see.
You know the work ethic andthings like that.
But I also know what I didn'tget, you know.
So you know, on Mondays, whenthe kids were talking about
watching sports with their, withtheir dad, and you know doing
this kind of American stuff, youknow I didn't have that.
And you know like I'll playbasketball with my son, I'll

(17:14):
play basketball in the dad'sleagues.
So you know, once the sport isover, the dads get together.
They play the kids, dads versuskids.
And I tell my son I was like,look, I didn't get this.
You know, like my dad wasn'tplaying sports with me and so I
just I try to pepper in and Itry not to overdo it.
I mean, I feel like that's oneof the challenges that I'm still
trying to figure out.
Like I feel like sometimes I'mteaching and I'm preaching and

(17:37):
I'm trying to tell him okay,this thing, that thing worked
out that sometimes I got to pullmyself back and be like all
right, let's just enjoy themoment, let's just have fun.
Not everything has to be alesson.
Not everything has to be likeoh, this is how it was, you know
in my day or your grandfather'sday.
So that's one of the challengesthat I'm still trying to figure
out.
Is you?

Speaker 2 (17:56):
know how not to overdo it Not everything has to
be a lesson.
So I want to make sure thateveryone grasps, like what you
just said.
So most people who havelistened to the show I don't all
summarize or generalize or I'mgoing to judge everybody in a
healthy judge did not have a dadthat grew up in a village
without electricity.

(18:16):
You know, like that is thatwhen you told me that before,
like you're taking me back towhen we talked in December, like
blew my mind.
So like, like, how does oneeven get access to the education
in a village to be able to likethat's what blows my mind.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, I mean it's.
It's really, it's stepwise andand you know a lot of this stuff
I didn't know till I was in mytwenties.
And you know, we used to go toIndia every couple of years and
you see family, but there was nolife lessons.
Again, you know, you don't thatmentality is okay, you just
work and you don't talk about it.
Okay, like, yes, I work, I'mgoing to provide for you.
But you know there was no likefather-son moments of you know,

(18:55):
this is how it was untilprobably my twenties.
We were in the village and mydad showed me his school, his
little one room school, and he'slike I would walk from here to
there barefoot and it was alljust incremental.
So you, you know, you do acouple of grades there and then,
you know, a lot of credit goesto my uncle his older brother,

(19:15):
who's kind of the patriarch, andhe was like, look, we need to
get you out of this schoolbecause it's not getting you
where you need to be.
And they, you know, go toanother school a little bit
further down and you know, just,you're walking barefoot to that
school and you do that for acouple of years and then I know
he had the talent and then itjust from there, okay, well,
there's a city nearby and so nowyou're going to go to this
college in the city.
It's like, okay, now you'redoing that, Now we're going to
send you to another city to domore and more and more.

(19:38):
And I didn't know the storyuntil my mid-20s and he just
kind of like said, I don't knowwhy, all of a sudden he was open
to talking about it.
But then you know, thefloodgates are open.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
This is how it was and this is, you know, kind of
the trials and tribulations andyou know this relative and that
relative, but it led to a very,very frugal life because you
didn't know, you know when youthe next piece of money was

(20:11):
coming in, I mean my grandmother, his mom, I mean she would keep
the bills so crispy, clean,like she would.
She would give us, like when wego there, and she'd give us
like a little money and shewould take it out and the money
itself she'd probably had for 15, 20 years and it was so clean
and crisp because it was likewait, this thing is, there's so
much value here, and then shewould give it and it was like

(20:32):
you know this, this big thing,and so you know that that
immigrant experience carriesover here.
And so you know we didn't do aton of vacations.
You know we would do a roadtrip here, there and um, and so
you know all my friends are, youknow they're going on ski trips
and they're going to disneyworld, this and that, and you
know we just kind of you know,me and my brother were just kind

(20:55):
of at home in the summer timesand working out and getting
ready for sports and things ofthat nature.
And then, uh, we went todisneyland, disney World after I
graduated high school and I'llnever forget my dad goes.
He's like this is my one regret.
He's like I wish I had donethis with you when you guys were
kids.
He's like I didn't know anybetter and I just wanted to save
and so that stuck with me.

(21:16):
I was like, okay, I did want todo that when I was a kid, but
we couldn't.
So I'm going to make sure thatmy kids get to have these
experiences.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
Yeah, are mom and dad still with us?

Speaker 1 (21:27):
They are Yep, yep, they're still with us Very cool
and still, you know, prettysharp, you know age.
Well, it definitely takes atoll physically but yeah,
they're still with us and youknow my mom's up here and
visiting time to time, loves tohang out with the kids, visiting
time and time, loves to hangout with the kids and it's fun
to watch them do a lot of thosethings that they didn't

(21:48):
necessarily get to do.
Like I mean, I've never heardmy dad say I love you so much, I
love you so much to thegrandkids.
Because, those weren't wordsthat come out of, you know, an
engineer's mouth, from India,you know, in those days.
So they get to kind of revisitsome of those things that they
may not have had when we weregrowing up.
So that's, that's reallyspecial.
I love.

(22:08):
I love seeing that.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
What type of engineer was he?

Speaker 1 (22:12):
He did elect, he did a few.
He's a mechanical engineer andthen he did some nuclear
engineering as well.
So yeah, he's definitely anintellectual guy.
But you know, outside of askingyou know where's this sport
being played and what's going on, there was not.
You know, our conversationswere academics and finances,

(22:32):
even up until now.
Ok, you know how the finances,you know, do you do this, do you
have this retirement plan, thisthing and that thing?
And growing up it was academics, whereas with my mom then I
could talk to her about oh, youknow, these friends are doing
this and that and um, it's funny.
I, my freshman year atNorthwestern, uh, I joined a

(22:53):
fraternity and they had no ideawhat it was and they were scared
out of their mind.
They're like you're gonna joina cult.
She's like we're sending you toNorthwestern and you're joining
a cult.
I was like, mom, it's not acult, we're sending you to
Northwestern and you're joininga cult.
I was like mom it's not a cultLike you know.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
it's just this thing and they're like freaking out.
And I told them I was like I'mgoing to do it, like I want to
do it, and they were just so, sonervous.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Oh man, it ended up okay, but they didn't know what
that even was was.
So he's always kind of likelittle little things that that
popped up, you know, throughoutthe years.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
I would think it would have been hard for your
dad.
I don't know if you've everasked him this but, like you
know, coming from where he camefrom, hard work, just you know,
brought create this amazingopportunity.
And now and now he's got tofeel so proud seeing what you
and Shino have done.
But if he didn't play sports?
Cause I've?
I've talked to some people who,like their dads, were hardcore
academic growing up.
They're like no, you're notplaying sports, bro, like, but

(23:48):
the cool thing, he let you do itand it was a passion of yours,
it's true for better or forworse?

Speaker 1 (23:54):
I just I don't think, because I was the kind of kid
that, just you know, if I knewthat I want to do it, I would
sign myself up.
I would, you know, just justgive me to practice.
That's all I need to do is giveme to practice.
You know I'll.
I found a gym and I'm like allright, I can walk to the gym and
I'm going to train on my own,like there was no, you know,
extras and they're just like allright, I guess he's going to do

(24:19):
it.
But you know they, they came toone game, you know cause kind
of you'd accept those things.
And you know you don't know anydifference.
You're just like all right, Iguess I'm going to play sports
and I'll tell them about itlater, you know.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Wow, so when tell me when you thought you would get
into medicine?

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Like when did that passion happen?
That probably started.
It started coming up in likeeighth grade, it's crazy to say,
but like eighth grade, ninthgrade, I really.
I mean I always liked sportsand I was just really getting
into science.
And then 10th grade, we didsome, you know, pig dissections
and cat dissections.
I'm like I love this.

(24:59):
And even in high school I waslike, look, I love sports and I
love biology.
I'm like how can I combinethese two?
And I was like, all right,maybe I'll go into sports
medicine.
And I wrote my high school, youknow, college essay on being a
sports medicine doctor.
And I knew which is, also,looking back, kind of crazy to
think about but I knew Icouldn't do anything else and so

(25:21):
I applied to these you knowmedical programs or get into
college and med schoolsimultaneously.
I didn't even entertain anyother possibilities and so my
whole thing has just been go,you know, like, from high school
to college, to med school, toresidency, it's you put your
head down and you're like this,you know, like just grinding um,

(25:41):
because that's kind of was mynature and that's how I did it.
For my training was five, sixyears, college and med school
was seven.
So for 13 years I just put mynose down and just just went at
it.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Wow, it's pretty cool .
Man Now was out of curiositywas she news family?
Where they, where they hadthey'd been in America for a
while, where they, they, theywere immigrants also.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, she knew she was families.
They have not too different ofa story than actually my dad.
You know her dad also from avillage, also no electricity,
and ironically I mean there aretwo neighboring states of India,
but their villages have thesame name, which we found out

(26:26):
what are the chances?
And he's the same name which wefound out, asking what are the
chances.
And he's the same thing.
He was an engineer and he was aprofessor and then came to
Windsor, worked there for awhile and moved over to Detroit
and he's an entrepreneur andacademic and same sort of thing.
You know, you just you havethat immigrant experience and
it's great for work ethic andyou know pushing you.

(26:48):
But you know there's otherthings that you kind of miss
along the way from in terms ofparental supports, and that's
how we're trying to, you know,combine it for our kids.
You know we want to be there forall those things that we didn't
get but don't want to lose.
You know the work ethic either,and that's a very precarious
balancing point, at least for mepersonally.

(27:10):
Like you know, I know how I wasand I see some of that in my
kids, but it's different and byno means do I expect them to be
me at all.
They're their people and butthen sometimes I get this like
anxiety, that like wait whenthey're doing their homework.
It's like I remember doing thisand they're not getting it,

(27:30):
like I think they should begetting it, and so then I start
getting anxious and then I haveto back off because they can
feel my anxiety, cause you know,and so I have to, I'm really
working, I guess my, my projectis, and I do accept them, of
course, or my kids, and I lovethem, but just accepting that

(27:51):
they're going to progressthrough school and stuff at
their own pace, and I need tokind of tap the brakes a little
bit, cause sometimes I get alittle anxious, cause that was
my thing, you know.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
So we've done a lot of episodes.
I've interviewed almost 300dads, jesse, and like, sometimes
like with all, like youthsports, the perfect example
where sometimes parents, onaccident, they put their own
goals on their own kids or maybeit's, maybe it's academics too,
and you forget.
It's like we know these thingsbecause we've, we're got them.
You know we're 48 years old,they're 13, 14, 15, whatever the

(28:23):
age is, so like they don't knowthe same mistakes and I think
the hardest part is like that Ithink some of these generations,
like maybe, maybe generationbelow us and then even younger
is they don't want to see theirkids fail, which is where all
the growth is like I don't knowhow, what made you you?
But like for me, I think I havemultiple years, multiple
examples of massive adversity,massive failure, um, but I don't

(28:46):
remember my parents, like goingto talk to the coach or doing
this or doing that.
They were like it is what it isand so, like you develop,
that's where you develop hardwork and grit and toughness and,
um, I think sometimes when youyou have to go through it, then
you get to protect mode Causeyou don't want to see your kids
go through it, but then you gotto remember, but that's how I
got to where I am.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, no, it's, and God that that the titration
point for that is so fine interms of going one way or the
other.
And you're right, you know andto be honest, it's not even
whatever they decide to do, I'ma hundred percent on board
supportive.
I just remember the confidencethat I would get from you know,
knowing this fact or you know,being able to play this, and I

(29:27):
want them to have that sameconfidence.
And so then I get kind ofworried, like, okay, if you're
not doing this, then you're notgoing to have the confidence
that I remember having.
And then I just have to letthem fail.
And I'm all about adversity interms of how it builds character
.
I tell Shino all the time I'mlike, look, let's just just let

(29:48):
him figure it out, we don't haveto be there on top of things.
But you know, it's definitelythis push pull that that's never
consistent.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
I guess that's, you know, the life of a parent well,
I think it all makes sense nowwhy you're an eagles fan.
I mean there's no way.
I mean you got to be from avillage with no electricity to
become an eagles.
They want tough people.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
They don't want these soft seahawk fans yeah, exactly
, we grind it out in philly ohman, um, okay, so I want to.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Before we go into um, before we go into this, one of
the stories that was kind ofinteresting is you know, she
knew is.
So I met, for everybody I met.
I met jesse's wife.
She knew at a um, an event incalled out to tech serve and I
was and they had me speak tolike a smaller group and then we
met and I was like, and her,she was one of the many people

(30:34):
there.
That was really really great.
People Fast for the story.
I see her at a women's luncheonbecause one of my very first
clients shout out to LeslieVickery she runs this women's
luncheon and it's very wellattended.
But they've also there's likefour or five guys every year and
it's like male allies and I'mlike I'm all about that.
I want I have a daughter and Iwant her to have opportunities.
So I was there supporting myfellow ladies and uh, she knew

(30:57):
serendipitously, got put at mytable and uh, somehow, uh, she
ends up sharing the story aboutthe video you capture and in my
mind immediately goes to likecuriosity and vulnerability.
I'm like, oh, I know exactlywhat we're doing this thing.
And the look on her face when Isaid I know exactly what you're
going to do.
And she's like, oh hell, no,that's not going to happen.

(31:18):
I'm like, oh, yes, it is.
And I'm like, I know we don'treally know each other, but like
this is what connects people.
So maybe just for the audienceto share with us about video and
how you capture it, becauseit's pretty touching.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yeah, I mean we a buddy of mine who has a daughter
similar age, you know, he'sdefinitely one that likes to
plan trips and the four of ustook an RV and we went around
Lake Michigan and there'sprobably July and it was
gorgeous out and you know longMichigan nights and we just kind
of uh sat down for some icecream and uh, I think he he

(31:56):
might've been taping and it washis idea to talk about, um, you
know who our role models were,and it was very, although he was
taping it, that the Genesis ofit was very natural.
It wasn't like, okay, now we'regoing to do this.
It was just, it was aconversation and he saw what was
coming.
So he just kind of hit recordand yeah, she's just talking

(32:16):
about, you know, what an amazingwoman her mom is and what a
role model it is and it's just,yeah, it's just so touching and
you know we'll look back at itand and she's there's no qualms
like yeah, mom, you're my rolemodel.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah um, well it's cool, it didn't take her long.
So then I I think I challengedher like that was maybe on like
a tuesday, and then I spoke onwednesday and I think she
attended my session and she cameup afterward and she goes, it's
posted.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
I was like what, let's go yeah, sometimes she
doesn't want to post a lot ofthose things.
I gave her a lot of credit too,and then people came up to us
after.
I was like, like, was that likesome scripted thing?
And I was like no, let me justthrow it up there yeah, I mean
it was.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
It was so genuine and that's the thing it was so cool
.
It's like and what a gift to beable to capture that.
And that'll be cool to see whensydney's later to be able to
capture that, and that'll becool to see when Sydney's later
to be able to show her like hey,do you remember saying this?

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
And you know God, just this ageis just such a great age, and
I'm sure they're all great ages,but you know, you only know
what you know, and they're sopure and they just say what's on
their mind and there's you know, god is there anybody that's

(33:29):
more present than a kid, that'sthere in the moment and it's
just yeah.
Sometimes you just look at itlike wow, I mean to be in that
moment and to feel that, and itcomes across like that is such a
special thing on both sides.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Well, it only gets more.
My, you know you hope that inthe minor leagues before they go
off to the majors.
You know, like sports analogy,like these off college now, like
our hard work and it's not done, done, but like a lot of our
hard work's done, done but likea lot of our hard work's done
and you hope we're just like,but it's been the most
gratifying, um, amazingexperience to see like the, the
kid you create.

(34:14):
And then when they go away andI've talked to many dads about
this who have kids in collegeand they're like oh, my god,
that first year just blown awayabout the stuff we're talking
about and questions they'll askand like, of all things, my son,
this one that really blew meaway Cause he's like a big
sports guy, he's, he's actuallylike school a lot more.
Now he's in college, but he justtypical, like me, his dad
didn't really apply himself inhigh school.

(34:35):
It did, you got, you did enoughto get by with a three, four,
three, five.
And he, um, he sends me a textone day.
He's like hey, dad, he's apicture of my book I wrote,
wrote.
He's like, hey, I'm readingyour book.
I'm like do you even know howto read and he's like ah, funny.
And I'm like it wasn't my idea.
But like seeing those momentsand then hear him say like you

(34:55):
know, dad, like I'm starting tosee like some of these things
you talk about, like just beinga good listener or setting
expectations and how like justgetting ahead of things can make
life pretty easy on yourself.
I'm like, bro, you're 18, thisis like.
I'm like yes, like yes we'rewinning Exactly.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
We're throwing a party Full circle, moment right
there.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Right.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
To hear your son say dad, I'm reading your book, it's
like what.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
I was like I asked my wife did you pay?
Him to say that Like there's noway.
But yeah, we're proud dad.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Hello everybody, my name's Craig Coe and I'm the
Senior Vice President ofRelationship Management for
Beeline.
For more than 20 years, we'vebeen helping Fortune 1000
companies drive a competitiveadvantage with their external
workforce.
In fact, Beeline's history offirst-to-market innovations has
become today's industrystandards.
I get asked all the time whatdid Casey do for your

(35:44):
organization?
And I say this.
It's simple.
The guy flat out gets it.
Relationships matter.
His down to earth presentation,his real world experience
applied to every area of ourbusiness.
In fact, his book Win theRelationship and Not the Deal
has become required reading forall new members of the global
relationship management team.

(36:04):
If you'd like to know moreabout me or about Beeline,
please reach out to me onLinkedIn.
And if you don't know CaseyJaycox, go to CaseyJaycoxcom and
learn more about how he canhelp your organization.
Now let's get back to today'sepisode.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Okay.
So one other thing.
I was really intrigued by yourstory.
So, orthopedic, you're kickingass as a doctor in New York, new
Jersey area.
She knews doing her thing.
You got two working parents.
You're commuting and I rememberyou finally said, hey,
something's got to change here.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, I mean, you know, we my practice in the city
and um know, after a certainamount of time my wife was like,
look, we just we need to go tothe suburbs, like I've had
enough.
And I was like, okay, I meanwasn't crazy about I did.
I like where I was working,we're living, etc.
And um, we moved kind of incovid and there wasn't, nobody

(37:06):
was out out on the road, so itonly added to my commute maybe
20 minutes, so it was no bigdeal.
But then, slowly but surely,people started going back to
work and the commute juststarted creeping up, creeping up
.
Pretty soon it was an hour and40 in two hours coming home.
It was brutal.
And then my wife was like look,we don't see you, and when you

(37:28):
do come home you're crabbybecause you just had a two-hour
commute.
It's like something's got togive.
And so she was saying it and Ilooked at jobs locally where the
commute wasn't as bad.
But in medicine you set up yourpractice and it takes time for
other doctors to know you, thefamilies to know you, your
patients to know you, and I haddeveloped that it takes time for

(37:49):
other doctors to know you, thefamilies to know you, your
patients to know you, and I haddeveloped that I didn't want to
start over in a new town wherenobody knew me.
I had to do all that again andso the turning point was
Friday's, my surgery day, and Iwas supposed to drop off my son
at baseball practice and he hadnever played baseball before.
He'd done some basketball.
But this was his first kind offoray into kind of formal sports

(38:10):
, fourth grade and you know Iwarm up with him on the weekends
and the set.
And he's like, dad, this is,you know, x and Y practice, it's
really important.
And he's like, can you justmeet me at practice and warm me
up before we start?
I was like sure, but surgeryruns late or for whatever reason
.
And I was like sure, butsurgery runs late or for
whatever reason and I realized Iwas going to miss it.
So I told Sheena I was like youhave to take him.

(38:31):
I was like just bring a glove,just go around with him.
And she's like okay, so shetakes him there and he goes.
He's like you know, is dadgoing to help me warm up?
And she's like no, he got heldup in surgery.
And she's like but I'll helpyou warm up.
And so she gets out of the carand he just stops her.
He's like sorry, mom, it's justnot the same.
And he turned around and hewalked to practice and Sheena

(38:52):
goes into the car, she's bawlingand she's calling me.
She's like do somethingdifferent.
And so I was just in a veryfortuitous position where I told
my practice.
I said, look, you know, I loveworking here, I love the
patients.
I just this commute is killingme, but I still want to be here
to do this.
Let's come up with anarrangement.
And it just got things justkind of worked out and it just

(39:16):
became more efficient with thepractice.
And so I still go down there, Ijust I'm not, I'm not going down
every day, and you know takesome pay cuts with that and but
I mean, you know, knock on wood,I wouldn't have been able to do
without.
She knew, not only pushing me,like she always does, but you
know, she's also very successfulbusiness woman, all this stuff.

(39:37):
And she's like look, this isthe time that we need to be with
the kids.
And it kind of brought me backto when I was growing up,
because, you know, my mom wasworking, my dad's working, and
it was just, you know, in thehouse.
And so I was like this is it?
I don't know how much longerthe kids want to hang out with
me, because pretty soon they'llbe hanging out with their
friends.
And I was like I need to behere now.

(39:59):
And it's wonderful, you know,pick them up, drop them off to
school.
On certain days I pick them up,I'm catching games in the
evenings.
It's been really, reallyfantastic and for as long as I
can do it, I will.
But yeah, there was just kindof.
You know, I have been this grindmentality for so long and then

(40:22):
you just kind of realize, likewait a second, like that's what
my dad was doing and now I'mdoing it and you know the kids
are and she and I are suffering.
You know, and you know for me,when I work I'm not on a
computer, I'm not on a phone.
You know I'm talking topatients and so I wasn't doing
anything for the house, you know.

(40:42):
I'm not setting up camps orplaydates, or you know, I was
just working and so you know shewas running a company and being
the sole parent, and you knowgrows I was just working, and so
you know she was runningcompany and being the the sole
parent and you know just itreached a breaking point and and
now I love doing all that stuff, I love setting up their camps,
and you know researching, youknow what their activities are
going to be, um, and and justbeing there it's, it's been been

(41:06):
the best you know and, and Ithought you know, my son's 13
and, yeah, he's hanging out withhis friends, but he's still,
even today.
He's like dad, spring footballis going to be starting up.
He's like you know, once thesnow's off the ground, we need
to throw around a little bit.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
So I'm like, oh, like you know but what I love about
the story, jesse, is a couple ofthings.
One, I think sometimes the maleego gets in the way and we have
this like false sense of whatwe have to do or what society
says we have to do.
And I've interviewed I mean,you're not a stay at home dad,
but I've interviewed stay athome dads who don't, who they
said, listen, my wife's a beast,she's going to go to work.
You got way more skills than Ido.

(41:41):
But I think you, being like theperception of a doctor or in
medicine, you'd be like sorry,I'm doing this, but you guys,
both jobs are important and you,you got, you went into solution
mode versus like blame or oh,this sucks, it's like no, let's
figure it out.
And I think it's amazing whenyou kind of go to your employer
and kind of can try to figurethings out a little bit, it's

(42:02):
amazing they maybe they're goingto do something for you.
And I don't know if I shared thestory with you, but when you
said that story it took me backto when my son was like two and
a half, two maybe, and I was atthe height of my career in the
staffing industry and thingswere great and everybody loved
it.
But I was miserable because Iwas getting home at seven and I

(42:24):
didn't get to see my kids beforethey went to bed.
And I remember going to my bossshout out to Angela Veronica
and I said and this sucks, likeI know you guys love this, the
team loves it, but I'm likemiserable.
And she's like then leave it,leave it, for I'm like it's not
a bank, I can't leave it for,like why can't you?
I'm like, uh, I don't know.
And she's like do you trust us?
I go, yeah, I go, we got yourback.

(42:44):
Just be available on the drivehome and just make sure that you
know emails are cleaned up atnight, documentation.
But go get.
And it's like what a gift aleader did for me that now I
like try to share those stories.
I'm like in my world of likeexecutive and sales teams
coaching, like you can do it.
If I did it of all people, whycan't you?
And and I hope maybe there's adoctor listening that says what

(43:05):
you could do that like why not?

Speaker 1 (43:07):
yeah, not.
Yeah, I mean, listen it's, it'sthe Holy grail, for sure, um,
but everybody's.
And the other thing, too, is Imight not have been able to do
that.
Timing was everything you knowearly on in my career Cause if,
if you're not accessible andavailable as a young physician,
you're not going to get youryour practice off the ground.
And I you know I was with otherdoctors but you know you need

(43:29):
the experience of seeing thepatients and doing the
operations and I wouldn't havewanted to do that early on.
But after however many years ofdoing it, the timing just was
right and I'm fortuitous.
And I'm sure there's someyounger doctors like, wow, I
wish I could do that now, andI'm not sure I'd necessarily

(43:51):
agree with that because there istiming.
And then also, look, it's$150,000 when I went to med
school.
So you're paying off loans andyou're doing all that kind of
stuff, and it's probably evenmore now.
So, yeah, I think that just thetiming worked out perfectly,
especially, know, especiallywith the kids ages.
I mean, you know, if they wereolder I might've already missed

(44:17):
the boat.
So it just, yeah, just, and andyou talk about grateful, I mean
I'll just be, I don't mind thetwo hour commute anymore and
I'll be driving and I'm like man, I just have it really, really
good and just you know, just getthese moments of like, wow, I
got it.
You know like it's.
It's definitely, it's good.
So gratitude comes in gratitudecomes in all the time in
different ways.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Yeah, there's a lot of the.
I've one thing that I'veadopted and I've shared this
with many people, like in 20,when we went through COVID was a
gratitude practice.
So every morning I can, it'sright here.
I mean, people are listening onthe radio, can't see it, but
like it's every morning and it'slike I write and it's like I
can't wait to do it and I findmyself subconsciously smiling

(44:57):
when I'm writing it and usuallyit's like God, thanks for waking
me up today.
And man, I'm grateful for I'mgrateful I just woke up and just
like it's amazing when youstart with the right mindset as
a dad, like it just changes forme versus oh, I gotta do this,
got that.
You're just like stressed outof the gate, versus for me, I'm
really glad people taught methat on the power of gratitude.

(45:19):
But and then there's somepeople I found that like either
you kind of like ah, I don't,that's whatever, you know, it's
corny, or whatever, like allright, that's your opinion I'm.
I'm proof that it works and itchanges.
The mindset changes.
I don't know if it's chemicallyin your brain, um, but like
it's amazing, when you havegratitude, you the negative,
difficult times in your lifedon't seem as bad because you're

(45:39):
you're looking for something tobe positive for.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
Are there repeats in that Like?
Will you have like a couple ofdays in a row where it's just
the same?

Speaker 2 (45:47):
Oh, few things oh yeah, and sometimes it's like I
I thought about that war, butI'm like but am I still grateful
for an awesome wife?
Am I still grateful for greatkids?
Am I still grateful that I getto do the work I'm doing now?
Yeah, well, I'm gonna keeptelling myself that so that it
reminds me when maybe I don'thave a great day or something.
I get a curve ball thrown at me.
I'm like, but I love what I'mdoing and I mean, as corny as

(46:08):
this is, jesse, this is.
I feel like it's a calling.
I'm not like a super religiousperson, but like I definitely
very, but I'm very spiritual, Idon't, but I like I just feel
like this was what I'm meant todo right now and I just have
there's like so manyserendipitous signs or people
I've met.

Speaker 1 (46:23):
I'm like there's no way, like it's just trippy stuff
, but um, you know, sometimesthere's something to be said for
for the action of writing it.
You know when you can think it,uh, and you can go through the
five things that you're gratefulfor, but some about just
writing it down solidifies it ina way chemically in your brain.
Uh, that's different than ifyou're just thinking about it.
So I mean definitely somethingthere.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
I 1000% agree with you.
Um, okay, if you were to.
Actually, you kind of mentionedit earlier, but I'll ask it
again.
So, like, one of the questionsI like asking dads is if there's
an area of your dad game thatmaybe you kind of talked about
me get anxious or something likefor me I have to work on
patience as a competitive personLike, but is there an area of
your dad game that sometime thatmight relate to dad's a home,

(47:05):
that, like you know it's notalways your best, but at least
you can admit it and we can getdads to be humble and honest and
say like, hey, this is an areaof my game I'm going to work on
to get better.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
Oh yeah, I mean, I've been working, uh, last couple
of years, definitely havepatience and also, you know that
acceptance, part of it.
You know, and, and, realizingthat they're not going to
approach things the way that Iwould necessarily approach it,
and, and um, I'll I'll be honestsometimes raise my voice, yell
at them.
Why can't you just do it thisway?
You know, and and and, and, ofcourse, she knew, has always

(47:37):
been the voice of race Likethat's, you're not, it's not
helping, and and I and I knowit's not helping, but I just get
this like feeling inside that,just like guys, come on and
homework or this or that, and soI'm really like A trying to
back off on that, and B Irealized that in the past and I

(47:59):
feel guilty for it that I wasmaybe too harsh on my son and
yelling and screaming at him andgo back and apologize and be
like you know what Bingo.
I shouldn't have done that andyou're right.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
And it doesn't help.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
And I just want, like you know what Bingo, I
shouldn't have done that andyou're right and it doesn't help
.
And I just want to let you knowthat I'm sorry and I've done
that and I've I've done onmultiple occasions.
I do it more now than beforeand I think he really
appreciates it, you know, andhe's definitely a share Like.
He likes to talk and share alot of things, and so it makes
me that way.

(48:29):
Now, I share with them.
And I'll say I remember thattime I did that, I got really
upset and I'm like I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
And so that's.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
That's kind of like I'm working on it.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
It's not always easy.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
It's a work in project, sorry, work in progress
, but yeah, trying to stay calm,you know just it's fun.
I don't know where I read this,but just how the kids mirror
your emotions and they know,like even if I don't say
anything to my son, he's likebut you're mad, I can tell that

(49:01):
you're mad.
I'm like, I'm not mad, you know.
And he's just like dad.
I know you're mad, so just youknow, taking that beat, but I'm
working on, I'm working on.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Still not not there, but uh trying to get better at
that for sure there's not amanual for to be the perfect dad
, I think, but the fact that wehad you admit it, I that it
speaks dude.
I.
I used to struggle, I still dothe times, but I think the gold
what you did is you apologizedand I think when we actually did
an interview early in, likeepisode like nine or ten, my
buddy, darren ballmore, shoutout to d and he talked about the

(49:33):
power of saying sorry, becauseI think not only does it, it's
good for you as the dad, or usas the dad, but it also teaches
the kids it's okay to say you'resorry yeah you know.
So it's almost like you're.
You're actually providingoutside.
I think you're perfect, lead byexample mentality.
Um, because who doesn't mean?
Sometimes saying you're sorryis the best way for make a
problem go away.
And it like you kind of likeforgive yourself.
It's like we don't wake upmeaning to be an asshole to

(49:56):
somebody or ruining someone'sday.
It's like now it's almostembarrassing.
But when we don't apologize now, it's like just makes us even a
worse version of ourselves,cause all that anxiety stuck
inside of us has nowhere to go.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
Yeah, it's funny.
I tell my wife, like you know,give yourself some grace in
whatever the thing is and try to.
And I definitely try to give itto the kids, but I'm trying to
give it to myself a little bitmore, like, okay, just you know,
let yourself make some mistakesand let yourself, you know,
learn from from the way it wasback.

(50:28):
I mean there was times like Goddid.
Uh, you know, learn from fromthe way it was back.
I mean there was times like Goddid I just screw up my son by
yelling at him so much?

Speaker 3 (50:33):
and all this kind of stuff, and you know what am I?

Speaker 1 (50:35):
doing to him and um.
So yeah, I definitely try togive myself some grace in terms
of you know going day by dayweek by week.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Um, okay, before we get into the some fun stuff, um,
if you were to summarize whatwe've talked about today that
the dads can maybe take fromwhat we've we've talked about a
lot We've talked about, you know, I mean a lot of really really
cool things in your story isfantastic.
But if, if dads can take fromyour story things we've both
shared, maybe call it two orthree actionable things they can
take away from what we talkedabout they can apply in life to

(51:05):
maybe kind of improve theirleadership skills inside their
home, tell me what comes to mind.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
Definitely acceptance , you know, except that you know
these little guys are going todo what's right for them and
they're going to figure it out.
And you know, I guess, justtrust the process, as they say.
So, definitely that, and justGod just being present with them
.
You know just, even if it's fora couple of minutes, it's with

(51:30):
them.
You know just, even if it's for, you know, a couple minutes,
it's the best.
You know, I'll read with mydaughter at night and I'll read
the paper and she'll read herbook and she'll look it over.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
What article are you reading?

Speaker 1 (51:40):
It's like even for 10 minutes.
You know we're just talkingabout the news or whatever it is
.
It's magic, and so just, youknow, trying to be present, and
yeah, just, and so just you know, trying to trying to be present
and yeah, just the acceptancepart that's.
That's where I'm really tryingto to get better at that's a
good one, solid man, well, um.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
So now it's time.
Oh, actually take the back.
I want to now make sure that wehighlight you and your practice
, and if there's people in thenortheast someone's got a, a bum
knee, a bum shoulder, they'relike god.
I wish there was a goodorthopedic I can go.
And how can we make peopleaware of you and your, your
colleagues, if they're?

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Yeah, I mean, I think , uh, it probably is just plain
old Google, Dr Seikon S E K H ON, and then it'll kind of take
you around to, you know, thedifferent uh sites that I'm
affiliated with, Um, but, uh,yeah, I'm happy to happy to help
anybody.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Cool, and what's the name of the practice?

Speaker 1 (52:30):
The hospital is Maimonides Hospital.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
Okay, awesome, all right, it is now time to go into
the lightning round, jesse,where I go completely random and
show you that the negativeeffects have taken too many hits
not bong hits, but footballhits in college.
Your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can,
and my job is to try to get agiggle out of you got it, I'm

(52:53):
gonna lose right away.
I might lose a while after myown joke, so it's like I already
was same um well, have you seenthe movie um spies like us?

Speaker 1 (53:04):
oh man, long time ago , don't remember too much of it.
I remember is that dan akroyd?

Speaker 2 (53:08):
dan akroyd and bill murray they're one of the
greatest and chevy chaseactually Chevy Chase and Dan
Aykroyd One of the greatestlines they were.
They actually were.
I think they were in India asFBI agents.
No, not that one.
Oh, yes, that part when theydid that they did.
The first step of a procedurelike this is shave the patient.
But the question when you gointo surgery, how many times do

(53:30):
you say doctor, doctor, doctorand doctor.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
It's funny.
The other thing in terms ofbeing mindful, which I've also
started to do, is it used to.
I would like I'd approachsurgery as a sport, where I
would, right before I'd gothrough like all the steps and I
realized that I should have Ialready.
Now what I do is I go throughthe steps way early and so when
I'm scrubbing right before, justclear my mind and just, you

(53:56):
know, think about okay, what'sthe water feel like on my hands,
what, what sounds am I hearing?
So that when you go in clearhead, but yeah, you, realize all
these?
different things that can applyto other parts of life are just
as equally as important.

Speaker 3 (54:10):
Totally yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Love it Tell me your favorite movie of all time
Godfather series.
Okay, favorite comedy of alltime.
Dumb and Dumber has got to beup there Tell me there's a
chance, I love it.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
Sunshine State Tell me there's a chance I love it.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
If I was to come to your house for dinner tonight,
what would we have?

Speaker 1 (54:37):
I was taco Tuesdays at the Saigon household.
Tonight Okay.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Sounds nice and tasty .
If I went into your phone andwe went to the physician's
office, what would be the onesong that might surprise your
colleagues?
You listen to.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
You know, they know that I listen to reggae in the
operating room.
There's something about it justkind of like puts me in a zen
state.
And you know, there's sometimeslike my co-surgeons or other
people like in another operatingroom and they come in and it's
the same reggae.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
Do you ever adopt a reggae accent in surgery?

Speaker 1 (55:16):
No, but I, where I work, there's a lot of West
Indians and they love it too, sowe're having a good time in
there.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
You're like my scapel man.
Okay, If you were to go onvacation right now, just you and
Chinook.
Sorry, kids are staying home.
Where are we going?

Speaker 1 (55:33):
We have to be Italy.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
We haven't been spent too much time.
We've always wanted to go.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
Okay, if there was to be a book written about your
life, tell me the title.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
Ah, that's a tough one, getting better.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Okay, there we go Now , jesse getting better.
Um, I've told all my friendsabout it.
We can't get a copy of itbecause things selling out, it
can't get on Amazon, they can'tprint enough.
It's in Barnes and Noble, soldout all airports, it's, it's
fricking gone.
So Netflix has found out aboutthey're going to make a movie.
You're the casting director.
I need to know who's going tostar Jesse Sacon in this
critically hit new movie.

(56:10):
Oh, will Smith for sure, therewe go Easy, there we go, all
right.
And then last question Tell metwo words that would describe
your wife.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Oh, wow, loving, supportive, beautiful Two's too
short.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Those are hyphenated.
We're going to make them.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Yeah, exactly, lovingly beautiful and
supportive.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
There we go.
All right, man, lightningrounds over, this has been a
blast.
Your story is fricking so cool.
Your, your wife's, fantastic.
Your kids sound fantastic.
Your dad is just.
I'd never met the guy, I don'tknow if I ever will, but man,
what an inspiring dude.
To just the opportunity to giveyour family and shout out to
your uncle too, for seeing the,the, the wise or I mean this is
the skills in his youngerbrother.
Um, I want to say thank you toour sponsors, thank you

(56:56):
Everybody who continues tolisten.
If this episode has piqued yourinterest and you and you feel
like you have time to leave us areview on wherever you consume
your podcast, that would be ahuge gift, uh, or if you want to
share this with an friend thatyou think might inspire another
dad to kind of lead into aprofessional development of
fatherhood and just working hardto become better, please share

(57:17):
with them, because this podcast,for everybody that you know, it
is a project and I get freetherapy out of every episode,
and this is not the revenuegenerating in the household.
This is just a way to serve andit is by far one of my favorite
things I get to do and I don'tknow how long I'll do it.
The more people support andkeep listening, the more longer
we'll keep doing it, but I justwant to say thank you, jesse,

(57:39):
for your time for your story andthank you for everybody who
continues to listen.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
I hope to talk to you soon, man, so great Awesome.