Beyond Survival: How Childhood Adversity Shapes the Dads We Become - Michael Simmon-Pappadakos

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Today's episode only happens thanks to the team at Tri-State TechServe Alliance.  Roughly a year ago, I met Michael Papadakos from RedStream Technology, as he attended a keynote I delivered for sales professionals.  I also must thank Sioux Logan for sending Michael to this event.

In this episode, he shares his journey from a Marine Corps veteran to intentional fatherhood, revealing how his extraordinary family history and global experiences shape his approach to raising grounded, resilient children.

• Mother was born in a Berlin bomb shelter in 1945 during wartime chaos
• Lost his father at age 4, navigated childhood with a single mother
• Joined the Marine Corps at 21, seeking structure and discipline
• Traveled extensively during military service, including France, Egypt, and Burundi
• Teaches his children kindness, gratitude, delayed gratification, and curiosity
• Balances high expectations with understanding what kids genuinely need
• Believes in showing compassion while not tolerating trivial complaints
• Values building connections through shared activities and open communication
• Coaches basketball despite not being an expert, emphasizing effort over outcomes
• Founder of Leathernecks in Tech, a networking group for Marines working in technology

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
Hey everybody, it's CaseyJaycox with the quarterback dad
cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:25):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.

(00:45):
Well, hey, everybody, it'sCasey Jaycox with the
Quarterback Dadcast.
We are in season six and thisnext gentleman I met actually
last year at a event where Ispoke at in the great state of
New York for the New YorkTri-State Chapter at TechServe
so thank you for having me outthere and this gentleman was
someone that really kind ofstood out.
He was a curious, curious guy,super easy to talk to and very

(01:09):
gracious in his follow-up, andthen we stayed connected and
then I spent time with hisleader.
Shout out to Sue Logan, who thefounder of Redstream, but our
next guest is Michael Papadakis.
He's a US Marine.
Our next guest is MichaelPapadakis.
He's a US Marine.
He's a former wrestling coach,he's got some real estate skills
, he's a growth and strategy guyin the staffing world, but,

(01:32):
more importantly, he's a dad,and that's why we're having him
on the show to learn more howMichael's working hard to become
that leader and quarterback ofhis households.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Without further ado, Mr Papadakos, welcome to the
Quarterback Dadcast Awesome.
Well, thank you, Casey.
I appreciate the intro and yeah, I don't know about being a
quarterback, but definitely atentpole holding up the circus.
That's kind of the analogy thatI think about when I think
about being a dad, but certainlythe quarterback analogy is a
good one too.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Well, you bet.
Well, we always start out withgratitude, so tell me, what are
you most grateful for as a dadtoday?

Speaker 1 (02:13):
I mean for me just the opportunity of having kids.
I think I was somebody who formost of my life, the thought
never occurred to me to actuallyhave kids.
I was probably too young andtoo selfish.
So to be able to, you know,raise two wild animals and and
tame them and hopefully pass onsome wisdom is pretty

(02:35):
extraordinary.
And I've got an awesome wifetoo who you know is a critical
piece of it all.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Well, very cool.
So my gratitude today is yes,so we're recording in March.
This episode will come out in amonth or so.
Yesterday I turned the ripe oldage of 49 and I'm so grateful
for it was like the birthday of.
As you get older, everybirthday is kind of different,
but yesterday's birthday wasawesome.
I had so much kind things frompeople and messages and for my

(03:10):
and the thing that made me mosthappy is my my kids' friends
were sending me messages.
Yeah, I'm like I don't know.
I just I was able to play golfthe afternoon with some friends
and um had a great dinner withmy wife and a good buddy and his
wife, and just very, verygrateful for the love and people

(03:30):
surrounding me.
It just it was an awesome day.
So I was grateful for that.
Yeah, no accidents.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
I'm sure you, you built all that stuff, so it is
nice to sit back and soak it upevery once in a while, because I
think we often forget right.
Yeah, totally yeah, life'smoving fast.
Think we often forget right weget caught.
Yeah, life's moving fast.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Well, bring me inside the huddle, tell me how you and
your wife met, and then sharemore about each of your children
.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, so I actually met my wife on the subway.
This was, yeah, just a randompassing on the number seven
train heading out to Queens andI saw her on the train and she
definitely caught my eye.
And it was hard to summon upthe courage to talk to anybody
on the subway and, as luck wouldhave it, she was getting off at

(04:17):
my stop, so the doors opened,she stepped out, I stepped out
and I said I usually would makea right and she went left.
So I decided to go left and Isaid Are you walking this way?
And she, without missing a beat, she said I'm following you.
And, um, yeah, just anincredible human being and kind

(04:37):
and gracious and beautiful anduh, yeah, we had a lot of fun
together, so that started it.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
And then how long have?

Speaker 2 (04:55):
you been married.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Uh, I think, gosh I'm bad with numbers I think we're
at 13 years.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Okay, very cool.
And then tell me about yourkids.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Sure.
So, uh, leo is 12.
Uh, he, uh, looks just like hismom, so he's blessed in that
way.
And my, my daughter, uh, godbless her too.
She looks just like me.
Luciana is eight and uh, yeah,they're, they're just, they're,
they're good kids, they're, uh,you know, they're curious.
I think they're pretty kind andthe job is to raise them with

(05:30):
values and let them know thatlife's not easy and no, silver
spoons.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Amen to that, brother .
I think raising grounded kidswho is super important.
Something that my wife and Italk about a lot is like, you
know, if you've experiencedthings in life and I know I
think the the, the life we'vecreated is not the life I had
grown up and um, not good or bad, it's just different, and so

(05:57):
it's like.
But I want the values that myparents did a really good job
teaching me about hard work andcommitment and um, you know,
fall through and um just reallywant to make sure, like we've,
we work hard to get those andit's funny, like we have a son
in college now and my daughter'sa junior in high school.
But to see the scene when you,when your kids get older and
they go to college man, if theydecide to do that, it's it blows

(06:22):
my mind how much they matureonce they leave.
It's crazy, yeah, and everybodywarned me about it, but it's.
It blows my mind how much theymature once they leave.
It's crazy, yeah, and everybodywarned me about it, but it's
like until you experience,you're like what are you talking
about?

Speaker 1 (06:30):
like it's unbelievable, it's um, it's been
so fulfilling yeah, well, Ithink you know you try not to
preach too much and, um, you tryto just impart wisdom as if you
were a friend or a coach andnot try to get too emotionally
invested in their decisions andwhat they're doing.

(06:50):
But, man, is that easier saidthan done?

Speaker 2 (06:54):
A hundred percent.
That's why I am obsessed withthe word curiosity.
Um, and I love curiosity.
It's just, I think it solves somany problems in life.
Um, it makes your many problemsin life.
It makes relationships easier.
It makes then you don't have toworry about having to say the

(07:14):
right thing, because you have toask the right questions and the
other person is going to talk.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
The majority of the time, you just have to listen,
right, right.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
So well, take me back to what was life like growing
up for you and talk about theimpact that your parents had on
you now that you're a dad, yeah,sure.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
So when I was, my mother was born in Berlin,
actually in 1945, in a bombshelter, literally in the
basement of a bomb shelter.
My babushka delivered her byherself in the telephone booth.
She was a doctor and cut theumbilical cord, did the whole

(07:50):
thing and they had already fledfrom russia and her first
husband was shot in the backyard, like they had they.
They fled you know absolutechaos and ended up in new york
city and um my father's side ofthe family they're from Greece
came over 1927-28 or so fromSparta and ended up opening up a

(08:11):
flower store.
So to make a long story short orshorter, my parents met in New
York City in the 70s, in theheyday, and my father ended up
passing away when I was four.
So it was just me and my mom.
I definitely had a goodchildhood, but plenty of

(08:40):
challenges along the way, as youcan imagine for a single mom
with a boy.
We definitely had some bumpsalong the the way, but we made
it through, and mostly becauseof her, you know hard work and
love and not giving up so yourmom was born in a bomb shelter
yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
I can't even imagine what that was.
That must I mean.
Did you ever, as you got, maybeas you gotten older, have you
had conversations with her aboutlike just experiences and oh
yeah they lived in a display, adp camp, displaced persons camp,
up until, I think, 1957 inmunich.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
So they were all basically political refugees.
And my babushka wrote a letterto eleanor roosevelt for
political, to get politicalasylum and they got it.
So, um, yeah, they made theirway over here, didn't speak
English, you know, uh wereeducated but didn't matter if
you didn't speak the language.
And, um, yeah, I mean they,they literally saw the worst of

(09:37):
what humanity had to offer therewas.
There was no food in Berlin in45.
It was rubble, you know, Ithink people were literally
eating other people at somepoints because there was no food
.
My babushka was pretty savvy,her family, they were merchants.
So when she was, when my motherwas in the baby carriage, my

(09:58):
babushka made homemade vodkathat she would bottle and she
had a false bottom underneaththe baby carriage that she would
bottle and she had a falsebottom underneath the baby
carriage that she would stashand she'd go sell it.
And when that, when thesoldiers would come around to
inspect, she would pinch my momreal hard to get her crying just
to keep the the soldiers from,you know, wanting to interfere

(10:20):
or inspect the baby carriage.
So yeah, they really, um, theyhad some, some, some real
profound experiences wow.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
So when did they, um, when did they?
When did they migrate to theunited states?
I think 50 57.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
they came over, okay, yeah, and my mother has an
older sister who's 14 yearsolder and a older brother who
was seven, seven years older,who were both pretty
extraordinary human beings, mymom being the youngest and
probably not getting the most uh, you know, maybe all the uh
attention that she needed shestarted, I think, was a bit of a

(11:02):
of a black, had a lot of fungrowing up in New York city in
that time period and, uh, I metmy dad.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Wow, Um.
How did they meet?

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Uh, I'm sure they met in like a nightclub or a disco
or you know.
I don't know the exact location, but somewhere in the city, at
at at one of these places.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Wow, and if you don't mind me asking, how did your,
how did your father pass away?

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Lung cancer.
It was a small cell carcinoma.
So you get the diagnosis and Ithink within six months you know
it was over.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Do you have any memories of him?

Speaker 1 (11:42):
I have two memories.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
They were both when he was sick and uh yeah him kind
of being in bed and, much likeyou, coughing a lot.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
He was obviously got like a fricking allergy thing
going on here.
So, yeah, no, I I do have twomemories of him.
I have a lot of photos andpictures.
Um, I, actually I've got hisdog tag around my neck so I keep
him close to my heart and um,you know, life, life happens.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, my pops passed away in 2021 and I got a picture
of him right next to me here.
I think about him often, and umso losing a parent, um, never
easy.
Remember what, what age you'reat.
Um, so I guess we have that incommon, Michael.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Um, what um.
Did your mom ever remarry?

Speaker 1 (12:36):
She did and uh, we'll just say that didn't go well.
Uh, I think initially the guyseemed like a decent human being
and at this point we couldprobably say he had mental
health issues.
So extremely violent, umabusive, physically.
Uh ended up in a shelter forbattered women at one point in

(12:59):
in north miami, um, just causehe was on a war path.
So it was, it was over kind ofin the blink of an eye.
It was.
They met, got married andbefore he knew it, things went
sideways real quick and we hadto pack up and and get out of
town.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Wow, and you guys obviously made out, I think,
hopefully safe out of thatjourney.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, we had to restart.
We moved to Rhode Island, whichis where I went to middle
school and high school, and I'mblessed to have a lot of good
friends and great experiences.
So you know again, everythinghappens for a reason, if it
wasn't meant to be, it wouldn'thave happened.
So that's kind of the way Ilook at it.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
Did they eventually catch the guy and get him in
trouble?

Speaker 1 (13:49):
So he had apparently done this to a few women before.
This was kind of his end.
All he would find, you know,vulnerable women who maybe had a
little bit of resource.
Not that my mom had much, butwhatever he had, um, evaporated,
evaporated.
We went from a nice house inMiami, normal family house, to a
one-bedroom apartment in RhodeIsland.

(14:11):
My mother gave me the bedroom.
She slept on the couch had a1978 brown Chevy.
Nova Buddies used to call itthe Duster.
It was brown, it was a full-on.
You know the type of car, ohyeah.
So I have fond memories ofsaying no, you cannot drop me

(14:31):
off here, you will drop me offaround the corner from wherever
we're going.
That's funny, my mom battled,she worked every day.
She did the best she could withwhat she had.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Now is mom still with us.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, yep, she's doing well.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Very cool and what keeps mom busy these days?

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Uh, she writes, she's um, she's writing a uh, uh, a
Harry Potter like story.
She's been working on it forabout a year plus.
It's pretty amazing what she'sbeen able to produce, and she's
just editing and trying to getit done.
It's like her.
You know she's on, I guess, the16th or 17th hole.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
I'd say so you know you got just burning daylight
every day, trying to get thethings you want to get done and
create your legacy so, as you,as you reflect back on,
obviously, the migrating to theStates, the journey of you know,
losing, losing your pops,growing up single mom, seeing
some of the struggles you wentwith a stepdad from the, from

(15:35):
the, maybe to highlight thepositives, talk about the, the
values that were reallyinstilled in you, that you, you,
that you use throughout yourlife and even now as a father
you know, it's tough because,honestly, I was.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
I think I was pretty angry for a long time.
I think I probably felt like Igot the shit under the stick and
, um, I was a good kid.
But once puberty hit andadolescence, um, I definitely,
definitely the rebellious spiritkicked in and, uh, I, I caused
her a lot of grief, probablycaused myself a lot of grief,

(16:10):
and just didn't know how toprocess all of it.
It was, it was, it was just alot of emotional baggage and
right, you know, you don't knowwhat you don't know.
So I think you know, no matterhow much a mom she can't, she
can't instill the things in ason maybe that a father can,
just because it's hard to relate.

(16:32):
So that's what led me to theMarine Corps and, you know,
knowing that I needed thestrictest form of structure and
discipline that I could instill.
But she did instill hard work,love and being compassionate.
That's really her trace andshe's highly creative and she

(16:57):
passed that on to me.
So I've, you know, at times inmy life I've done some pretty
fun and creative things andhopefully we'll one day get back
to them what and when did youjoin the marine corps?
it was right at 18 uh 21 21 okay, yeah so for about three years
I was like I was like jackkarawack, I was on the road, I

(17:17):
was mixing it up with all sortsof characters.
A lot, a lot, a lot of you knowa lot, a lot, a lot of you know
a lot of uh, interesting peoplewill say well, tell me what was
the tipping point to say, hey,I got to get my life in order
here.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
And what, what, what triggered you to join the
Marines?

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yeah, so I guess it was about late 99.
I was waitering in the city andjust I just think I was just
bottoming out.
I was living a life that Icouldn't sustain, that my body
couldn't sustain, my mind andspirit couldn't.
And one thing I knew about mydad was he did go to the Marines

(17:59):
.
I knew a guy who had gone, whowas a friend of a friend, sound
like he had a decent experience.
I was sort of running out ofoptions.
You know, I couldn't build theship by myself, is what I
figured out is I just didn'thave the tools to course correct
.
So I walked in the recruiter'soffice and I said this is going

(18:19):
to be the easiest one you got.
And he started telling me aboutthe Montgomery GI Bill and I
said, hey, I appreciate it, Idon't care, I go just.
I said just tell me when andwhere to be and where to sign.
And uh, you know it was kind ofpre-internet, so I really
didn't know what I was gettinginto, other than what people

(18:42):
have the idea of what the MarineCorps is.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
And uh yeah, and just had six incredible years.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
And where were you stationed?

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Uh, yeah, so I I was.
I was pretty fortunate.
I got deployed a lot.
I went to Japan for a year, uh,and then I got selected to go
work in the in the embassies.
So, uh, my first station wastough.
I went to Paris, france, for ayear and a half and then from
there they shipped me to Egyptfor a little while and then a

(19:14):
little country called Burundi,which is south of Rwanda, east
of the Congo.
I spent about another year anda half there.
So a lot of good travel, goodpeople.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
And what was your specialty in the Marines?

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah, so when I was on embassy duty it was
diplomatic security, so didsecurity for US dignitaries,
embassies, did security forColin Powell, so got to do a lot
of high speed weapons training,Uh.
But before that, my first threeyears I was a paralegal so I

(19:52):
supported the JAG Corps, uh,doing court marshals and, um,
just a whole bunch of legalstuff.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
So I'm starting to kind of put the put this puzzle
together.
Here you mentioned create,create.
Your mom has a creative gene.
Brother, you've done a lot ofstuff, yeah, Waiter to Marines,
to wrestling coach, to aparalegal, to security.
It's like you're like a movieactor.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
I did a couple movies too.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Seriously.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
Any ones we know?

Speaker 1 (20:33):
I've got an IMDb.
I've got two movies on the IMDb.
Okay, nothing major, all kindof small, independent stuff.
I did improv improvisationalcomedy for a couple of years
when I got out of the MarineCorps.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
And, uh, something I really love doing, just cutting
it up and do you still do it?
Uh, I haven't in the lastcouple of years, but I, I, I've
got it on the horizon and getback into it Did you ever go
with?

Speaker 2 (21:04):
have you heard of the yes and training?

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Well, that's what it is.
Yeah, it's a Dell close.
Yeah, yes and yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
So there's a guy named um Travis Thomas and if
you know him, I don't know thename, but I might know the face.
So Travis is a former um,former quarterback, dad cast
guest, talented speaker,talented author.
He was a coach for the USnational soccer team at one
point.
So check Travis's work.

(21:31):
I just wrote a new book too,but he's an improv guy too, and
so it follows the yes, and so Iwas curious if you I think it's
like how you get trained in it.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, exactly, and it's applicable to all things in
life.
I sign my kids up for it.
I just think it's good to youknow, it's a good skill to have
to be able to think on your feet.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah, speaking of your kids.
So of all of these, have yourkids shown curiosity yet?
And hey, dad, tell me aboutwhat your life was like, yet
have they shown curiosity aboutthat?

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yes, yeah, they have, and I give them the uh, you
know the uh, afterschool specialversion.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
How, I guess at what point, if ever, do you ever
think you'll share some of this?
Um adversity you've beenthrough?

Speaker 1 (22:21):
Well, that I have shared.
I have shared.
You know, the, the, the trialsand tribulations, uh, the
episode with the stepfather and,um, they understand it and I
think that it helps them framehow good that they have it.
And you know again, you don'twant to be that old, that old
guy.
I was like you know, back in myday.
You know, you, you kids, I trynot to do that but, um, there

(22:47):
are, there are times where youknow I've got to say hey guys,
you got to really take a stepback for a second and realize
how good you got it.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Right.
Well, I think, and we'll, we'vedone a lot of episodes, Michael
, on um people asking for help,and so, like I, I'm a big
believer of power, ofvulnerability, power of humility
, power of curiosity.
I think those are life's, someof life's superpowers as it
relates to relationship building, not only for us dads, but in
business or corporate America orany any sort of leadership

(23:16):
roles.
And so I think it's it's coolthat you have shared, um, shared
some of those stories.
And the other thing I've I'veseen is people have, you know,
I've I've interviewed a lot ofdads where they've they've
actually sought out help, likegot professional counseling, and
I think it's.
I want to celebrate that,because I think sometimes you
can't do it alone and keepingstuff in is a dangerous I think

(23:40):
a dangerous recipe for um, oneof these days we just explode
over the simplistic thingsbecause we're not talking
through our emotions.
So I mean, did you experiencethat Any positive through
therapy throughout the journeyfor yourself?

Speaker 1 (23:55):
I did at one point, do I think it's Gestalt Theory
therapy, which is kind of likefull circle therapy not not
psychotherapy and uh, you know,kind of just reinforcing.
You know you, you aren't whathappened to you.
They help create who you are.
But all these things are, too,are a cycle and you've got to

(24:18):
work through the whole cycle andthat that takes time.
And I think having when youhave trauma at any point, it
takes time to to work thattrauma out and that's gonna,
it's gonna.
You know, my wrestling coachused to say sometimes you gotta
hit rock bottom to push off toget to the top, you know.
So I think you gotta you do haveto work through that stuff and

(24:40):
acknowledge if you're hurting oryou're, you know, whatever it
is anxiety, ocd, you know I'vegot guys, you know, coming out
of the military who had far moreserious experiences than I did
and you know have to workthrough stuff.
So I think where we are rightnow as a society is really is a

(25:00):
good thing, where you know guyscan talk about stuff and, I
think, not feel ostracized or,you know, told me, told us, I
mean how much were you told tosuck it up as a kid, just from
coaches who suck it up?
And uh, even when I was a coach, you know, I, I, I probably I
had a half dozen.
Suck it up your expressions,you know.

(25:22):
Build a bridge, get over it,you know.
Suck it up your expressions,you know.
Build a bridge, get over it,you know.
And sometimes you do have toemploy that stuff.
Sometimes you have to recognizethat some stuff's bigger than
you and you've got to, you'vegot to do the work.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Yeah, well, it's funny, I, um I've told the story
before.
I don't know if I've told you,but like.
So I had a pretty significantinjury in high school that
prevented, like, my playingfootball my senior year in uh in
high school.
I was lucky enough to play incollege but I didn't have a lot
of film.
But this injury allowed anotherkid to play, who I beat out the
year before and he would gointo um, he would go to uh, have

(25:58):
a great year and that time inlife.
This is where I really learnedabout, like, asking for help and
vulnerability.
And I remember going to my, myhigh school coach, and I said I
said man, coach Osborne, I'm,I'm not, I'm, I'm wishing he
does bad, I wish the team sucks,I just about these just
immature negative thoughts.
After I get done with this,like rant about just well, it
was me, he's like man, I'm soproud of you.
I'm like what, how could forhelp?

(26:23):
And he like celebrated it.
So it's like, it's like ah, andso it was almost like I think it
was just an amazing leadershipby him to be able to recognize
that that that's not really whoI was deep down, but obviously I
was going through this funk gotme out of it so quick, maybe.
He turned me into his offensivecoordinator, allowed me to you
know call plays and now Icoordinator, allowed me to you

(26:52):
know call plays and now I'm onthe coaching staff.
It's a 17 year old, yeah, butthat's one thing we we talk to
our kids a lot about is like yougot, keeping it in is a
dangerous thing, like we justtalked about.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
And so like community always working on communication
, um, talking often, um, butyeah, yeah, I, I feel like
that's something that we canwork on as a family, because I
think sometimes they do bottleit up a little bit.
And you know, here's the thing,there's a fine line between
complaining and having to talkabout something, because I think

(27:18):
as a society, we, we, we liketo complain too, but we'd like
to have an opinion abouteverything.
Yeah, I try to teach my kids iswe don't, but we'd like to have
an opinion about everything.
Yeah, I try to teach my kids iswe don't, you don't need to
have an opinion about everything.
Yeah, but that that doesn'tmean if there's an issue, we
can't talk about it.
Recognize, you know, youremotion, your frustration, but

(27:39):
that's high EQ for a kid tounderstand.
So I, I don't, I don't expectthem to, but we do, we do work
on it.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah, that's good.
It's like, um, your kids arestill at a.
I remember the ages of 12 andeight and I went by it seems
like just yesterday, but it's um, it's, and the skills around EQ
, or you can practice.
I mean, those are, those areways to get better, and I think
it just just like anything inlife, it's repetition.

Speaker 3 (28:10):
Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, ceo of Tier 4 Group, a
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recruiting and executive searchfirm that connects exceptional
talent with extraordinarycompanies in 43 states across
the US.
At Tier 4 Group, relationshipsare at the heart of everything
we do, whether it's with ourclients, our candidates, our

(28:32):
vendor partners or with eachother.
Our mission is to go beyondtransactions and create
long-lasting partnerships.
We don't just help companiesfind talent, we help them find
the right talent, and thatstarts with truly understanding
our clients and candidates.
It's not just about fillingroles.
It's about fostering successfor the long term.

(28:53):
It's not just about fillingroles.
It's about fostering successfor the long term.
This is the recipe for successthat's landed us on the Inc 5000
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across the country, and I'mthrilled to support Casey
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(29:15):
Casey's philosophy alignsperfectly with ours,
prioritizing relationships overtransactions.
His insights on building trust,empathy and connection resonate
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We were honored to have Caseyas our keynote at our 2024
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(29:37):
as much as results.
Visit us at tier4groupcom orconnect with me, betsy Robinson,
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You'll walk away inspired tostrengthen your own
relationships, both personallyand professionally, and, as
Casey always says, stay curious.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
What if you think about the values that you and
your wife are that are mostimportant to you, talk about
what comes to mind that you guysare really trying to enforce?
That might speak to anotherfamily at home.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
I think first and foremost is kindness.
You know I think my andforemost is kindness.
You know I think my kids are.
They are kind.
They're not.
You know my son and his friends.
They tease each other but atthe end of the day it's it's
having a good heart.
I think gratitude is part ofthat.
You know, understanding thatyour situation, uh, better or

(30:32):
worse or whatever you want tosay about somebody else is.
You need to understand that noteveryone is dealt the same hand
and you've got to havecompassion, patience.
Patience is a big one.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Delayed gratification .
Big one, especially nowadays,now, now now.
Big one, especially nowadays,now, now, now you have instant
access to everything.
How do you, how do you, how doyou steer that machine?
Um, and, and I think, hard workand curiosity for sure, you
know, try new things.
I tell my kids, you know, hey,I want, you know, go try

(31:12):
whatever.
Uh, I tell my kids, you know,hey, you know, go try whatever
soccer.
I don't like soccer.
Well, you don't have to like it, you just got to try it.
Right, you rarely like anything.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
You're not good at you know I hate bowling because
I suck at bowling For the lifeof me.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
Get better at bowling .
You know I don't like it, but Iguess my point is that?
Go try new things, tryeverything, yeah and um.
And then to you know, see ifyou like it, see how it feels,
see what, see if it speaks toyou in some way is there a um?

Speaker 2 (31:48):
do you follow gratitude practice yourself?

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah, so I, I, I recently started journaling.
So quick five minute blurb.
You know, most mornings and dotry to uh recognize you know the
things that I have and what, um, a lot of it is luck, A lot of

(32:12):
it's just dumb luck, but some ofit's hard work, but some of it
is just where you're born, whenyou're born.
If you're a boy who was born inSudan, you didn't choose that
situation.
That's the luck of the draw andyou've got to deal with it.
I think you've just got to begrateful for your health, for
your situation, for the cleanwater you got.

(32:35):
Look if you got clean water andyou got, you know, clothes and
a pair of shoes.
You know you're doing all right.
When I was in Burundi the thingsthat I would see every morning
on the way to the embassy welived at the top of a hill.
We had, uh, we lived at the topof a hill and the women who

(32:56):
were coming down would havestacks of firewood under each
arm, a baby on their back andmaybe balancing you know a
basket or something on theirhead, oftentimes and I'm talking
walking three miles uphill andthen back down to the market
every day to go sell thisfirewood feet look like, uh,
hobbit feet.
You know a lot of people didn'thave shoes and then you had,

(33:19):
you know you had civil war uh,in some ways still still going
on a lot of violence and youknow a lot of these people were
every day was walking up anddown that hill.
They're smiling, shooting theshit with their friend that
they're.
You know that they're.
They're smiling, shooting theshit with their friend that
they're.
You know that they're, they'rewalking with and you know it.
Just it just puts it inperspective is how good we have

(33:39):
it in this country, and I thinkthis is me ranting that it
really is the best time inhistory to be alive, between
medicine, technology, um, youknow, communication between
people of every background.
So I think it's it's easy toget caught up in the swirl of so

(34:03):
many things are wrong or couldbe better, but at the end of the
day, I think it is the besttime in history to be alive.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
With the values you mentioned um, which are some
fantastic ones, um, and thestory you just shared.
Like, how did all thoseexperiences, um seeing some of
these other countries, of whyyou're in the marines, shape you
as a dad?

Speaker 1 (34:26):
and some ways might have turned me into a bit of a
hard ass.
You know, like your butter'snot melted on your bagel, you
know, and you're telling me,like try again.
I guess I don't have.
I don't have a great deal ofpatience, for that to me is the
complaining yeah, there'ssomething, there's a.

(34:47):
You know, I don't know, there'sa problem that you're doing
that you've got in front of you.
Figure out a way to deal withit.
Don't bring it to me and I willhelp.
I'm not that much of a hard-o,but I'm just trying to get them
to.
You know, a guy just wrote thebook.

(35:08):
The Obstacle is the Way.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, Ryan.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
Holiday?
Yeah, ryan Holiday, thatbutter's not melted on your
bagel.
That's the obstacle.
Is the way, ryan Holiday?
Yeah, ryan Holiday, thatbutter's not melting on your
bagel.
That's the obstacle.
Spread the damn butter Right.
Your grades are dropping andyou're missing foul shots every
time.
Well, your greatest weakness,whatever your weakness is is
what's calling your attention.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Yeah, I think there's another great book I read along
this journey.
Actually, a former guest namedswan nader.
He wrote a book called you havenot taught until they have
learned, and so it's a bookabout like helping kids become
more self-sufficient.
And we went through that duringcovid, when when you know 2020,
we didn't realize I don't thinkwe realized that we were doing
too much for our kids.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
And um, and so like we gave ourselves some grace,
but then we realized, okay,let's do something about this.
And so now it's now they're soself-sufficient, which is like
that's our.
Our goal, I think, as parents,is when, when they graduate,
that are they.
Are they able to survive?
and you hope they are, and surethere's gonna be bumps along the
way, but you hope you've doneeverything you can to kind of,

(36:18):
you know, propel them to thatnext stage yeah, and I think
when you have stability and youhave parents who know these
things, that you know it's uh,it's definitely a lot easier so
you saw, I mean I'd love to kindof explore my curiosity is
going off again like I'd love toexplore some more of your the
journey across the world duringthe Marines, and is there any

(36:40):
other stories that come to mind,that that, um, that maybe
you've shared with your kids orthat speaks to you that just
kind of helps keep either yougrounded or them grounded as a
as individuals?

Speaker 1 (36:50):
You know, when I was in Burundi, I got a chance to go
out and visit other countriesand went to Tanzania, kenya,
south Africa, ethiopia, rwanda,you know.
So I think, just get out, getout, go see places.
Be uncomfortable, you know.

(37:11):
You don't need five staraccommodations.
You can, you can rough it and Ithink, especially, you know I
don't know now how much kids doit, but it used to be kids would
backpack through Europe, right,yeah, a thousand bucks or
something.
You buy a euro pass and youputz around and you, you know,
explore, know, explore.

(37:35):
So for me, I, even when I wascoaching, I tell my guys hey,
when you get done here incollege, you don't have to go
get a job right away.
Jobs are going to be there.
What you have right now isyouth and you've got energy.
Go get a job.
I managed a restaurant inNantucket one summer.
I got lucky and guy asked me tomanage this restaurant and saw
these yachts pulling in, youknow, and the staff would come

(37:58):
in off the yachts and they'd sitat the bar and I'd talk to them
and they'd be like, yeah, wejust came from Hawaii, now we're
going to Argentina, right, andthey're on these super yachts
and all their stuff is paid forand they're, you know, traveling
.
I'm like hell, go get a job onone of these yachts.
Just go see the world.
Go find a way, becauseeventually you may just end up
in a house with a dog and acouple kids and look back and

(38:23):
you might not have to wait untilyou're retired to go do that.
Stuff is the time you canreally go mix it up and just see
what other cultures are and seehow much different and similar
human beings are.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Yeah, have you shared a lot of the stories with your
kids?

Speaker 1 (38:45):
Yeah, as much as they can understand or I think is
relevant.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
How do you balance teaching without making them
feel guilty that they didn'thave your life?

Speaker 1 (38:59):
Well, because they got all the time ahead of them.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah, that's a, that's an art, you know, I think
it's.
It's something I always I likewe've, we've been lucky to
travel as a young when my kidsare young.
Now I want my kids to.
It's a balance of like, not,hey, you're so lucky.
Well, I don't want them to feellike so, I want them to feel
lucky and grateful, but I don'twant them to feel guilty about
it.
Right, right, yeah, it's a formof appreciation without.

(39:25):
So I think it's like a.
It's something we talk aboutoften in our house because I
think now it's like my son'solder.
He now sees it and appreciates.
He's like wow, we were reallylucky.
I'm like and right, well, you,yeah, but hard work creates luck
right, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Opportunity exactly.
So it's funny you say thatbecause that's what makes.
Because there's a lot of choresin the house, you gotta take in
the garbage, can.
You gotta scoop the kittylitter.
You gotta empty the dishwasher.
You know, like this is a teameffort here, me and my wife both
work hard.
Like we.
We can't do everything right soyou, you've got

(40:02):
responsibilities, and if you'regonna, you know, live off the
fat of the land, here you gotta,you gotta, carry your weight
right or, or, um, or.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Things will change yeah, what as you think about
the, the journeys that you'vebeen in good, the bad, um, um,
growing up, and then now, as adad, like is there, is there one
?
Is there one experience or onemoment that continually drives
you to say man, this experiencehas really helped me?

(40:37):
I think about this oftenbecause it's going to help me
stay on this path, to be thebest dad I can be.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
I don't know if there's one.
Honestly, I think it's just aculmination of so many things.
I started wrestling in highschool.
I remember walking into myfirst wrestling practice and for
lack of a better term gettingmy shit pushed in and you know,
and that happened for a goodyear.

(41:02):
You know where I wasn't gettingwins.
I was just getting smackedaround and manhandled and, you
know, and again didn't have adad who was picking me up and
patting me on the back andsaying, hey, mike, you've got to
work on this.
I was walking home from matchesby myself, my mom's working
late, so I was going to thelibrary checking out books

(41:28):
literally black and white booksto learn technique.
And then come about mysophomore year.
Things started turning aroundand started winning matches and
getting competitive and, um, youknow, I had some other, uh, you
know, good I guess, uh, youknow, sporting accolades along
the way, but they were allself-earned.
I'd say, you know, you, you'vegot, you've talent will only
take you so far.

(41:48):
Then you've got to put in thework, um, and enjoy the
experience.
Right, like, um, I don't know,it's a whole nother conversation
about setting goals.
I almost don't set.
I really don't set goals, Ijust I'll come because, because
then what happens when you hitthem?

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Now set new ones, I mean, I guess so.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
I think you know, do the best job you can every day,
and the rest will take care ofitself.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
You know, if you, if you just put that work in every
day and you make those calls andyou connect with your clients
and you've got your cadence andyour rhythm, goals in some ways
are even limiting.
I'm going to make this manyplacements, I'm going to open up
this many accounts, Well then,what?
Now you're going to sit backand say, well, I hit my number,

(42:37):
so I'm done, Just do the workand the rest will take care of
itself.
That's all I think, Becausethen it becomes success and
failure.
And it's not about success andfailure, it's about the process.
It's about, as a quarterback,getting your reps learning maybe
how to throw offhand, justlearning new technique and

(43:02):
enjoying the process, Causethat's that's what it's all
about.
The trophies and all that stuff, that stuff.
To me it's all in the garbage.
I don't even know what thatstuff is.
It's just it's.
It's just, it's just stuff.
All that you really have isyour experience.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Yeah, that's, and those are great messages.
Teach your kids for sure.
You said something I want to goback to.
Where did your um the grit tofigure out, the grit of
resilience to figure out?
Well, if I'm going to get goodwrestling, I need to go to the
library.
I mean, some, it was thattaught that.
That's that self-accountability, or is that just innate?

Speaker 1 (43:36):
no, I think it just seemed.
Seemed like a logical step.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
You know there's information out there.
That's what I tell my kids.
Look, my son he's.
He's like me.
He can't jump very high.
I've got some attributes.
Vertical leap is not one ofthem.
Yeah, he wants to.
He wants to be able to grabroom one day.
All right, here we go.
You got plyometric drills allover, all over YouTube.
Hit them, go, get them day inday out, your vertical will grow

(44:03):
.
Do the work.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
So, um, I think the grit and determination for me it
just came from.
You know, there's that thatstory of, like the, they take
the soldiers to the Island andthey got to get to the other
side and then they burn theboats and they tell them Hey's,
no going back, we burn the boats.
There's only one way and it'sforward yeah and if you're not

(44:25):
going forward, then you're just,you're stagnant and yeah,
complacency is a silent killerright, I think.
I think that's what it is.
It's just just just enjoy theprocess of getting better.
Whatever it is you do, did theMarine Corps teach you?

(44:47):
That Probably really reinforcedit, because the officers that I
worked with my first couple ofyears were almost like de facto
dads to me.
They became guys who, you know.
These guys were attorneys, thendecided to go to officer
candidate school and becomeMarines attorneys, then decided
to go to officer candidateschool and become Marines.
So you know, to make it throughlaw school is one thing and
then to make it through officertraining, you know the Marine
Corps, is another thing.

(45:10):
And now to be trying capitalmurder and child pornography
cases and drug cases, and youknow they just get thrown into
the fire.
So these guys are just hardchargers and I couldn't sniff
them.
I mean I was just in all of thehuman beings that they were, so
being around them, just rubbedoff on me Like if I could, you
know, take a shred of theirdiscipline, uh, it'll serve me

(45:32):
in in in, you know, tremendously.
I mean I had guys who did comein the office at 5.00 AM start
you know we get our PT sessionin they'd start working and at
lunchtime they're running thesix mile flight line, you know,
and eating chow at their desk,like what you know, and then
work until seven o'clock atnight and then rinse, repeat

(45:53):
every day and you just realizethat the human, you know, our
mind, is such a powerful tool.
Yes, it is just there's so muchuntapped potential all the time
, and to unlock it, uh, what'sJocko say?
Uh, uh, discipline equalsfreedom.

(46:13):
You know, the more disciplinedyou are, the more freedom you
have, yeah.
And I'm not the most disciplinedhuman being, but in the ways
that I do use it, it serves me.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
Yeah, it comes back to choices, right.
That's why I love um.
You know, one of the things Iwas taught, I taught my kids, is
the power of 1,440, which isthe number of minutes in a day.
No one gets more known, getsless.
And so when people say, oh, I'd, I'd love to do it, I just
don't have time, I said bullshit.
Yeah, you do.
It's a limiting belief.
You can do it.
You don't have you have.

(46:42):
You can choose your timehowever you want.
If you, if you don't, if you'renot like, for example, like I
want to read more, then go readmore.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
Right.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Spend less time on Facebook Right.
Spend less doing whateveryou're going to do, you know
whether it's a game or like.
If you want to do things, thepower of like I've taught my
kids is the power of like, likevisualization.
So it might not be goals per se.
I mean some we do set goals,but like I just like
visualization, like writingthings down that I will do

(47:09):
eventually, cause if I can seeit, then I write it down.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
It's like there's there's science that just the
power of writing stuff like down, you can put into existence.
I also played tennis a lotgrowing up and still play.
I'm always visualizing you knowvisualizing perfecting or
improving techniques.
You know, and, yeah, if you cansee it, then you can, I think

(47:35):
will it into existence.
Have you read the Inner Game?
Oh, yeah, I love that book.
Yeah, If you can see it, thenyou can, you can, I think will
it into existence.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Have you read the inner game?

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Oh yeah, I love that book.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Yeah, I just, I just uh for those at home, uh, it's,
it's, it's about tennis.
I don't play tennis, but it'sabout, uh, mindset and self-talk
and whether you're in businessdevelopment, sales, if you're a
teacher, coach, policeman, itdoesn't matter.

(48:05):
We all have self-talk and weall have limiting beliefs.
We all have too many thoughts,but a lot of those thoughts they
would say 75 to 85% of thosethoughts are negative each day.
But it gives you tools to kindof figure out ways to
self-manage that.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, yeah, I love.
I just recently learned that.
Um, you know, the question wasis it better to have more
positive thoughts or lessnegative thoughts?
And the answer is less negativethoughts.
And I catch myself all the time.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
I've got my inner beat.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
That's sometimes chirping in my ear and I just
got to recognize it's chirpingand just push through it and
shut it down and just let itpass yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:45):
If there's an area of your dad game that you feel
like God, man, that's not whereI quite want it to be, that you
know, but something you can doto fix that.
You know you can be a betterdad.
For me I have to always work onpatience.
Know you can be a better,better dad.
Like for me, I have to alwayswork on patience.
Um, for for you, tell me whatcomes to mind for you and air
your dad game that that area youmight be able to get better at.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
That might speak to other dads at home I, I think,
trying to make the most of themoments and and be present.
You know, when you shut downwork.
Shut down work when you, youknow, eliminate the distractions
, because nowadays we're alldistracted.
You can be distracted by somany things and you can be
sitting in the room with yourkid and not really connecting.

(49:25):
So I think, just whether it'sthe car ride or the meal, it's
just building the connection,activity too, getting out and
doing stuff.
You know, I think people aretired and everyone's got busy
schedules and come the weekend,everybody wants to chill.

(49:48):
But I think sometimes you gotta, you gotta mount up and say,
all right, let's go hit a trail,let's go, let's go do something
.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Right.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
And Bill, we do a lot , but just just things that that
don't involve structure, Iguess yeah, it's important.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Um, I think so.
So often we are, we live, it'sthis go, go, go, go go mindset
and sometimes it is.
It is nice to relax and justunchart and unwind, but it's
also nice to create thosememories right, and I want, we
want we had.
I had a great dad I interviewedthis year, earlier this year,
and he was always his thing wasyou know, do something your kids

(50:26):
want to do.
What's an activity they want todo?
Not an activity that you wantto do and you're going to make
them do your activity.
But maybe it's like, maybe ifyour daughter or son likes
cooking, we'll go take a cookingclass with them learn something
with them.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Um, yeah, my wife does a great job with that.
She gets out the recipe bookthey cook once or twice a week,
pick, pick out a recipe.
She's much better at that stuffthan I am.
But yeah, I agree, what do theywant to do?

Speaker 2 (50:52):
yeah, because, um, you know, I was lucky.
My son loved playing golf as akid.
I'm a love, I love playing golf, so and so self-shift.
For me, that was like a win-win.
Yeah, I gotta play golf, hegotta play.
My son loved playing golf as akid.
I'm a love, I love playing golf.
So, and so self-shift, for me,that was like a win-win.
I got to play golf, he got toplay golf.
Now he's playing golf incollege, which is even more win.
My daughter, she's an athletetoo.
I I sucked at basketball, butshe's like really good at like

(51:12):
rebounding with her.
That's like our time to liketalk and spend time and, um,
teach mindset, teach hard workand yeah, yeah, I'm.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
I'm coaching my son's basketball team right now, and
part of the reason I startedwrestling was because I knew I
wasn't going to make thebasketball team and.
I had to do something.
So it's funny, I'm coaching asport that I, I can coach it,
but I'm not a great clinician.
Uh, and all I tell the boysevery game is I said I don't, I
don't care if we want to lose,all I care is that you guys

(51:51):
fight All.

Speaker 3 (51:52):
I care is that you fight.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
If you guys go out there and fight for every loose
ball and fight for every reboundand just be dogs, be a dog on
the court Again, the rest willtake care of itself.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
Yeah, yeah, that's, it's good.
I always um.
Teams always need scrappypeople.
They always need scrappy people.
There's not everybody's goingto shoot, Not every, and there's
so many things in the game ofbasketball that can show up in a
stat that you can truly impactthe game that won't show up in a
stat book.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yeah, and I think that people don't realize and
maybe this is my meatheadmentality to me, basketball is a
contact sport.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
You know, people think of football, wrestling,
rugby as a contact.
Basketball is a contact sportGrabbing rebounds, boxing out,
defending, like.
There's a lot of physicality inthe game and I don't think that
coaches teach that, maybe asmuch as they.
They teach and they should beteaching skills, but the pros
make it look so easy, I guess,is my point.

(52:49):
They make it look like it's allslash and dash and you know
hitting three pointers.
But if you can be a dog outthere, you, you can.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
You can change the game uh, my daughter values
defense more than offense thereyou go.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
She's a dog yeah, she is.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Uh, there she, how you just described.
That's her game.
There's a loose ball.
She's going head first.
Um, she loves she usually getsput on the best defense, best
player in their team and it'sher job to try to lock them up.
Yeah, and so I've taught her.
It's like, yeah, you might theother, you might score six
points, have an assist, have arebound or two, but if their

(53:27):
best player, who averages 15 or20 game, only scores four, well,
that's like scoring 20, almostpreventing them from doing it,
but it's always not going toshow up in a stat book, right, I
said coaches know honey theyknow, and then you have a
reputation, you know and nowother teams know you're the dog

(53:48):
on the court, so now you're justin their head because you're a
presence out there.
Well, it's funny, funny, you saydog.
So when she was like in fifthgrade, I said I said, hey,
imagine, um, I want you topretend you're a pit bull.
We've never had a pit bull, Idon't think we ever will have a
pit bull, cause we like we're agolden tree, we're a family.
But I said, imagine you're apit bull and you've not eaten in
like six months.
Okay, and I have your leashwhen you step onto the court.

(54:22):
I want you to visualize you're.
That goes back to choice and shegets that from my wife like I
was.
I was joking, you know football, I played hard for seven
seconds, then I got a rest inthe huddle, you know.
But, like my wife, my wife'sgot great cardio and I think
that's where my wife, mydaughter, gets it from, from her
.
But, um, yeah, okay, um, talkabout, actually, before I ask
you a few additional questions,if you had to summarize kind of

(54:43):
everything we've talked about,um, uh, you know, from from your
ups, the downs, the challenges,the, the, the military
experience, um, if you had tosummarize kind of the, the key
themes we've talked about, thedads can take from our episode
today to really kind of apply totheir own life, to kind of be
maybe a better leader, betterquarterback of their household.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
michael, tell me what comes to mind again, I, I think
it's just enjoy the process, dothe best job you can every day
and the rest will take care ofitself.
And sometimes, sometimes yourbest job right is a shitty day,
and there's nothing wrong withthat.
Like, sometimes you're justgoing to have a day where you're
, you're off, your energy is notgood, your focus isn't good and

(55:25):
you just you just got to makeit through.
But as long, I think, as longas you recognize that and do the
best job you can, it's like theweather it all passes.
Yeah, you know it'll.
You just lift the fight anotherday.
So, I think, enjoying theprocess, um, I think, like you
said, always talk aboutcuriosity and compassion I think

(55:47):
are huge.
Those things come across.
Um, you can't put a price or avalue on them.
They build strong relationships.
Um, and that's really what it'sall about is the human
connection that you can havewith other people and hopefully
have their backs and they'llhave your backs and build,
building, you know, buildingyour squad love it.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
That's good.
I think it's important.
When you said enjoy the processof being down, one thing that
kind of came to mind was alsojust like um, just showing up,
just be there.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Sometimes you don't have to say the right thing but
if your kids know you're there,or ask them how to go.
Today I stopped doing that.
When I pick up my kids, I askthem I go.
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
Not, how was class?
Just checking in with them as aperson.
I think that's a real easy one,because then you'll, I don't

(56:41):
know, it's not nothing happenedtoday.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
They're going to tell you how you're doing.
Well, this is.
I don't know if you recall fromour time when I spoke that one
day.
This is the framework ofTED-based questions that I got
taught at age 41.
And for dads, if you don't knowwhat this is they stand for,
tell me, explain or describe.
And then, when I, when I, whenI, when my kids were your age to
get them to talk better, Iwould use Ted based questions

(57:05):
and I put a number in front ofit.
So I'd say, hey, tell me twothings about your day that you
loved.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Yeah, yeah, I remember you talk.
I had forgotten about the Ted.
I liked the Ted is awesome.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
Yeah, so they have to .
Versus, because sometimes wesay, hey, how you doing, I'm
doing good, dad, right, and it'seasy just to go on.
But if I say, hey, well, tellme, tell me two things about
your day that were great, well,this and that great, tell me
more about that or describe.
Describe what that describe howit made you feel yeah, and it's
funny when you just keep.
That's where I always tell,like in my work world, but I use

(57:37):
it on my family and my kidsthat second and third is where
the gold is.
That second and third levelquestion is where the gold is.
I could keep going on thatforever because I'm a curiosity
psycho.
Talk to me about theLeathernecks in tech.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Yeah, it's a group I run for Marines here in, like
New York City metro area.
It's a LinkedIn group.
We do, I'd say, quarterly happyhours.
Get together, everybody worksin technology in some capacity

(58:13):
and there's really no agendaother than getting together,
being able to powwow with someother Marines, and it's funny
you get a group of Marinestogether being able to powwow
with some other Marines, and youknow it's funny, you get a
group of Marines together andtwo minutes in they're telling
stories right.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
And the common bond comes out and then, you know,
eventually maybe they'll starttalking about work or something.
So it's just a networking group, you know, younger, older,
everybody's sort of invited andum, super simple, just uh, just
there to support each other.
I'm actually grabbing dinnerwith two guys tonight, um from
the group and um, one of themgot me into jujitsu here in town

(58:52):
and has been whooping up on me,so uh, uh.
And then uh, another guy, wallyuh, who lives in the town over,
also uh, marine, he was aaviator or worked in avionics.
Just again, just generalnetworking, helping each other
out opportunities and guidanceand camaraderie nice, well, I'll

(59:18):
sure we'll link that in theshow notes.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
If you got like a, there's like a LinkedIn.
Is there a LinkedIn page youhave for it?

Speaker 1 (59:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
You'll make sure that's LinkedIn Talk about then.
Lastly, before we go on to somefun crazy lightning round stuff
, if people don't know whoRedstream is, and talk about
what you do for them and howpeople can learn more about your
guys' company.

Speaker 1 (59:42):
Sure.
So I mean from the top down.
Sue Logan founded the companyabout 18 years ago in New York
City and she is a maven ofstaffing, technology and
understanding client needs.
I mean the amount of thingsthat I've learned from her in
the last two and a half years,and a lot of it is the curiosity

(01:00:03):
and the building so she startedthe company.
We have an awesome group ofclients.
We're based in Columbus Circlein New York City, technology
focused and don't take my wordfor it.

(01:00:23):
I think there's like 500five-star reviews on great
recruiterscom or some crazynumber like that.
There's a high level ofaccountability for everything
that you do.
There's a lot of checks andbalances and I think that the
she makes sure that people learnthe right way.
Um, and it doesn't become fastfood recruiting or fast food

(01:00:48):
staffing.
It's really comprehensive andand uh uh centered around strong
relationships and understandingwhat the clients need and and
giving them guidance.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Cool.
Well, I'll make sure that'slinked in the in the show notes
too, so people can learn allabout um.
We'll tag Sue as well to makesure we give her some love,
cause she's a.
She's a fantastic, fantasticleader, fantastic female leader.
Um.
So, and I I've I've actuallyreally enjoyed getting to know.
I've actually connected herwith a few other people,
actually, one of my otherclients, betsy.
Her and Betsy just met recently.
They took a picture together inNew York and it was awesome

(01:01:25):
seeing them together.
But all right, if people wantto follow you, they want to
learn more about you.
Maybe they're intrigued.
Is there any other socialplatforms you're on that they
can connect with you?
If you want to, there's amarine out there that wants to
connect you.
Is there?
Is there a place I can sendthem?

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
other than linkedin.
Uh, I'd say linkedin's the best.
I try to stay off the otherstuff.
It just, it just becomes adistraction.
So linkedin, I'm always onthere okay.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Well, michael, it's now time to go into the
lightning round um where, whereI ask you just random questions,
I show you the negative effectseffects of taking too many hits
in college not bong hits, butfootball hits.
Your job is to hopefully answerthese questions as quickly as
you can, and my job is to try toget a giggle out of you.
All right, all right.
So, true or false.
When you were a wrestling coach, your favorite move to teach

(01:02:13):
your team was the DDT.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
True.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
I was a big fan of spiking guys, so okay, uh, true
or false.
Um you once um pinned a guy andthen gave him a frontal wedgie.
I'm losing.

Speaker 1 (01:02:35):
I'm laughing at my own dad jokes I, I've gone, I've
gone ahead.
I I got thrown to my back oncein college.
My buddies never let me live itdown.
I was on my back, I wasfighting like a grenade.
I grabbed, twisted and pulledto get off my back.
The guy he yells, he goes hey,get out of there, get out of
there.
He starts looking.
The ref looks at me.

(01:02:55):
I end up getting stuck.
So yeah, I'm a dirty dog whenit comes to that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Or I won't.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
No longer no longer.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Note to self we will never be wrestling, because I
don't get manhandled like that.
Tell me the last book you read.

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
Stillness by Ryan Conway.
Right Holiday Holiday.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
Yep, if I was to go into your phone, what would be
the one genre of music thatwould surprise your?

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
teammates at Redstream oh, hardcore
underground hip-hop Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
Let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Yeah, really just gritty.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
There's the dog, there's the dog.
If you were to go on vacationright now no kids, where are you
and your wife going?

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
I'd like to do.
Costa Rica Sounds great.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
I've been there.

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
Jungle and some water .

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
That's a cool spot.
If I came to your house fordinner tonight, what would we
have?
Rib eye Okay, sounds good.
If there was to be a bookwritten about your life, tell me
the title.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
No shit, really Happened.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Okay, now no Shit.
It Really Happened is afantastic read, but now,
everywhere I keep referring itto people, but no one can get a
copy of it because it's sellingout.
It's selling out at airports,amazon can't print enough copies
.
Barnes, noble it's sold outthere.
And now Netflix wants to make amovie, michael, so you are now
the casting director.
Who's going to star you in thiscritically acclaimed, hit new

(01:04:24):
movie?

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Oh boy Me it can't be you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
It can't be you Someone else.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
All right man.
I'm not great with actors.

Speaker 3 (01:04:43):
How about Wahlberg?
Else all right, uh, man I'm notgreat with actors.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Uh, how about maybe adam sandler, only because he
looks like me a little bit?

Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
I could see that, sandler, let's go.
Uh, okay.
And then last question tell metwo words that would describe
your wife she's hot I've nevergot that answer.
That's fantastic.
Lightning rounds over, I gotobliterated, laughed at all my
jokes, uh, which is what I dooften, and if you get one laugh,

(01:05:08):
it's keep you, keep it going.
So if I keep laughing at myjokes, I'm gonna keep being
corny and dumb.
Uh, michael, it's beenfantastic, uh, getting to know
you, um, your, your, yourjourney of life from everything
is is uh intriguing, um, it hasme more curious, um, just
obviously, just there's so manythings you've been through as a

(01:05:29):
dad which I think has shaped theperson you are.
It's um explains why you'veprobably been successful because
you have perspective.
You've seen so many differentthings around the world from
your military days, but alsojust your, the things your mom
taught you around, curiosity andeven going through some of the
difficult times you did as achild.
But I wanted to thank you againfor your time.
It's been a really, really funinterviewing you and I wish you

(01:05:51):
the best of luck, brother.
But thanks again for being aguest on the Quarterback Dadcast
.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
Thanks, casey, it's all right.