From Sales to Fatherhood: Darren Mitchell's Leadership Journey

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Casey Jacox welcomes Darren Mitchell, Australian sales leadership expert and father of two daughters, for a profound conversation about fatherhood, loss, and creating meaningful family connections across continents.

• Darren introduces his two adult daughters—a 25-year-old medical doctor with athletic ambitions and a 21-year-old creative interior designer
• Both men reflect on their upbringings and how parental examples shaped their approaches to leadership and fatherhood
• Discussion of the heartbreaking experience of losing a child, as Darren shares the story of his stillborn daughter Courtney
• Powerful insights about responding to life's challenges by focusing on what we can control rather than dwelling on what we cannot
• The importance of giving children undivided attention and being fully present rather than just providing "quality time"
• Core values that guide effective parenting: love, connection, integrity, work ethic, and acceptance

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
Hey everybody, it's CaseyJaycox with the quarterback dad
cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:25):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.

(00:45):
Well, hello everybody.
This is Casey Jaycox with thehost of the Quarterback Dadcast.
We're in season six and when Iget to go overseas, I'm talking
like really overseas for guests,it makes it even more fun, and
we're going to throw a shrimp onthe bobby and we're going to
bring my new friend, who I wasluckily to be a guest on his
podcast, and uh, we, I alwayslike to return the favor when

(01:07):
you go kind of, yeah, it's likea home and away and like a golf
match, and so our next guest isnamed Darren Mitchell and uh,
he's, he's.
He's one gentleman that Ireally enjoyed me, because he
shares similar mindset ofrelationship building that I do.
Um, I think he's really set thetone for what that looks like
over in Australia and maybeprobably worldwide.
But for those who are in salesyou want to find any podcast he

(01:28):
has what's called theexceptional sales leader podcast
.
He's been doing it for years.
For nearly 15 years he's beenleading sales teams, coaching
sales teams, doing programdesign.
For years before that he was incorporate sales.
But, with all that saideverybody, that's not why we're
having him on.
We're having him on becausehe's a father of two and we're
going to learn how Darren iscontinuing to work on improving

(01:48):
his leadership skills in thehome so he can be that ultimate
quarterback or leader of hishome.
So, without further ado, mrMitchell, welcome to the
Quarterback Dadcast.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Casey.
Absolute pleasure, mate.
And, as I say in Australia,g'day G'day, mate.
It's an absolute pleasure to behere and I loved having you on
my podcast a few weeks ago andwe're talking about this podcast
that you do, and I think it's agreat topic because, I mean,

(02:17):
let's be brutally honest, a lotof mums get a lot of credit
which, by the way, they shouldbut I think fathers and dads
spend a lot of time, certainly,away from the home doing what we
need to do in order to takecare of the family, but an
important role that we play inthe house as well.

(02:39):
So, absolutely love the factyou've got a dad cast and, yeah,
really looking forward tohaving a conversation.
As you showed me before theintroduction, you've got a list
of questions.
As long as I have, that is ablank paper, so I'm looking
forward to chatting.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, so what he's mentioning everybody.
Before we start recording, Ishowed him a blank piece of
paper.
I said here's the script.
Are you ready?

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, that's how we roll.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
It is Well.
We always start out eachepisode with gratitude, so tell
me, what are you most gratefulfor as a dad today?

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Well, I'm most grateful that I've got two kids
that are now independent adultwomen.
One now lives a little bitabout an hour away from home and
has just started her career asa medical doctor and she's out
at the moment, at this verymoment, running 22 kilometers
because she's she's put herselfinto a marathon at the end of

(03:35):
April, so she's out training andher and her partner is on a on
a bike that I donated, makingsure that he's supporting and
giving her lots of sustenance aswe go.
And my younger daughter, who'snow 21, is well, she's actually
asleep at the moment becauseit's not time for her to get up
because it's 9.07am.
So for those of you who haveteenagers and they don't get up

(03:59):
until you know 10 o'clock in themorning, that's normal here in
Australia.
But I'm very proud that she'salso a very independent
individual and well-mannered,really caring and a heart of
gold.
So really proud that I've gottwo wonderful kids.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Love it.
Well, what I'm most gratefulfor?
A couple of things.
One I'm grateful I get to watchmy daughter play a basketball
game tonight.
It's always fun.
I love watching her compete.
Uh, I love, I love thetoughness in hers.
I, it's inspiring to watch.
Probably proud dad and um, I'malso grateful for my son who's

(04:46):
in college.
Just, uh, it's amazing that forany dads who seen from him and
literally like five months, it'slike like just the
conversations, thethoughtfulness, uh, um, and I'm
grateful that he doesn't like,oh, my parents are calling me
again.
Oh, geez, you guys are idiots.
Like he like, literally likeloves talking to us and so we
talk every day.
Or, um, like they got me onSnapchat I've made fun of myself
on the last few episodes aboutthat but like, it's so fun just

(05:08):
having, when you're just talkingabout like life and you're, I
feel like we're taking that nextstep from like dad or mom to
like almost like a consultantrole where he's, hey, what do
you guys think about this?
And then, like we're kind ofthese conversations back and
forth where he's kind of comingto his own rescue or own answers
of things he's going through inhis life and so it's just
really grateful for that thattime it's.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
it's a great point you make, casey, because there
are so many parents and and Idon't know, we might talk about
our own upbringing and how, whenwe were kids, I guess parenting
might have been slightlydifferent compared to how many
quote unquote heregeneralization many parents
bring their kids up andprotecting them from certain
things and allowing them to geton social media and do all the

(05:49):
scrolling and screen time.
But the fact that you've gotchildren and I'm really proud of
the fact I've got kids as wellthat now see us as not so much
equals I mean, we've still gotthe parent-child relationship to
some degree, but now thatthey're adults, we're more
sounding boards and it's nolonger the fact oh, mum won't
let me do this or dad won't letme do that.

(06:10):
It's like you go and make yourown decisions because we've
brought you up to be a freethinker and an independent
thinker, which is a greatleadership lesson, right to the
point where, when they go outinto the world.
They should have theresourcefulness to be able to
make their own decisions basedon a process to make decisions
and and maybe consult with us,but not seek permission from us,
which is which I think is areally good mark of of how we

(06:32):
bring up our kids.
But at least that's my, that'smy take you mentioned you had a
couple daughters.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Maybe bring, bring me inside um the the huddle a
little bit.
That's a you know for yep, forfor the the huddle of like a
quarterback theme.
Yeah, um, I'd love to learn alittle bit more about each
daughter and then maybe sharehow you and your wife met wow,
um, where do I start?

Speaker 1 (06:55):
well, my eldest daughter's name is curalee and
she's just about to turn 25 andI can't believe.
A A she's nearly 25 and B she'snow a fully qualified medical
practitioner, which is justinsane.
She my kids are chalk andsheets.
She's very much a science-based, scientific, very intelligent,

(07:19):
but also very caring, so veryemotionally intelligent
individual.
Loves her, loves her family,loves being around the family.
Not one of these kids thatwould actively want to look for
opportunities to leave early inher adult life Didn't want to
necessarily go out and partywith all the other teenagers.

(07:40):
Her idea of a good time isbeing home, amongst people that
she, uh, cares dearly about.
Uh, not so much watchingnetflix, but just talking right.
So her and my, my wife, have afantastic relationship and
they're always snapchatting anddoing stuff together and, you
know, taking the p1 double s outof each other, which is um,
which is really interesting butvery scientific, very

(08:01):
intelligent but also very, verycaring soul.
Has also played a lot of AFLfooty.
So for those who are in America, it's similar to gridiron,
except we don't throw the ballbecause that's illegal.
We have to punch the ball, orwhat we call handball the ball,
and we don't have padding.
So it's a very physical game,very fast-moving game.
But she's recently retiredbecause she had a number of

(08:23):
concussions and, as a medicalpractitioner, being concussed
and having some head injuries isnot a good thing.
So she's no longer doing that.
But she loves sport and henceshe's into marathon running at
the moment.
So that's Julie the eldest,hayley the youngest, 21,
completely different kettle offish.
From a very early age we sawthat she was a very independent

(08:46):
dare I say, stubborn individual.
But she's got a heart of goldand she's more of a creative
person.
So she's been doing drawingsand doodling and making up
stories and stuff since she wasreally, really young and she's
just finished an interior designdegree.
So she's looking at maybe doingsome part-on work this year
before travelling, because herwhole goal is to go and live and

(09:09):
travel in Europe and live inthe UK.
She's an avid fan of what'sthat movie, the movie with?
It's a Christmas movie wherethey got Christmas.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
Vacation.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
No, it's the base of the UK and they go away and Lou
who grants in it?
Oh, is it.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Family Stone.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
No, you know what, I'll forget it, but her idea is
to go and live in the UK.
So very much a creativeindividual, but again, she likes
being at home.
She's got a small group offriends that.
They are very, very tight, um,but both of them have great
levels of servitude, so alwayslooking to serve others and

(09:55):
helping others whenever they can.
So I'm really proud of both ofthem, even though they both have
different different, I guesspersonalities which you'd expect
and different approaches tolife.
How I met my wife?
Well, her and I met atuniversity.
We both wanted to doarchitecture when we were
younger.
We both missed out by aboutthree or four spots to get into

(10:16):
architecture at the sameuniversity and both ended up
doing building engineering atthe same university.
So we actually built up areally good friendship for four
years through university, workeda lot together in terms of
group projects and once wefinished one of those
serendipitous things, um, wejust started going out and um,

(10:37):
in march we'll be 30 yearsmarried.
so, um, wow, very much a uh along Along innings, as we say in
cricket over here.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
There we go.
Okay, well, that sounds that'scool.
It's funny.
You mentioned independent.
So my daughter Riley, she'svery independent, like very
independent, my wife'sindependent, and she can be
stubborn, my wife can bestubborn.
Sorry, honey, they're out there.
But my daughter's like crazycreative, though.
Like I don't know where shegets these art skills.
Like I could not.

(11:07):
I'm a stick figure drawer.
But she does like these it'samazing how like people who are
good at art like how do you dothat?
Yeah and um for her.
It's like nothing.
I'm like it's funny.
You know, just, we all got ourgifts, I guess it's.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
It's frustrating that you see people that can just
pick up a pencil or pick up somesort of texter and just create
something, and I look at thatwith envy.
And now I look at that withcuriosity and think, wow, that
is just a phenomenal skill.
I wonder, I wonder what theprocess is behind that, and
could I learn to do that similarwith people that pick up like a

(11:42):
guitar or just have thisability to bust and jam and do
things?
I often wonder God, what wouldit be like to actually just pick
up a guitar in a random spaceand just be able to sing?
And that would be a fantasticskill, one of which I do not
have.
Well, you're a legend.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I taught myself how to play guitar like 15 years ago
at a buddy.
He taught me like two chords,okay, and and then I learned a
few chords and, um, the morebeers I have, the better singer
I am, nice it sounds better toothers.
Sounds better to you but no, Ilove playing.
It's fun.
I mean, you can play four orfive chords, you can play a lot

(12:23):
of songs nice, a lot I'mlearning.
And um, it's kind.
I mean, you can play four orfive chords, you can play a lot
of songs Nice, a lot I'mlearning.
And it's kind of fun when youcan do it.
And just sometimes it's verytherapeutic.
Yeah, I find.
Yeah, I don't play a lot, butwhen I do play it's definitely
fun.
And I always ask my wife I gowas that awful or is it okay?
And it's like no it's actuallypretty good, like sure.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
I don't know if I believe you, but okay, let's go
and test it on the street corneryeah, there we go.
When I come to australia, I'llbring my guitar wow, well,
talking about that, when I wasin vegas before christmas, I
mean we've got buskers inaustralia, right, and they're
pretty good buskers, the peoplein ve, they were incredible and

(13:04):
the noise they've got massive,massive sound systems.
We had guys, african-americandudes, singing the most amazing
jazz and blues In Australia.
You'd be going to see thatbloke at a concert hall.
He was that good, he wasphenomenal and I think, wow,
what a skill, what a skill.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yeah, there's a lot of talented singers.
Actually, on a probably twoepisodes ago, I interviewed um a
guy named adam hood, if so, ifyou like country music, or
anybody in australia likescountry music, it's, he's
unbelievable.
So he's so talented and um, Imet him at a conference where I
saw him play and I was like, howis this dude not like?
And it's so competitive and um,but his, I mean, he's got a

(13:47):
great following.
He's an independent dude, butit just goes to show how many
really really good singers arein the world that just maybe
haven't got the chance yet.
You know.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah, I mean, I'm a big fan of Darius Rocker, who
was the head of Hootie and theBlowfish, and I saw him seven,
eight years ago in Australia andhe was supported by who's, the
really famous country singer.
Now, anyway, I had LoveActually as the movie which I
just remembered.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
That's a great movie.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
I remember that's a great movie.
But I mean, he's so talentedbut he had a support act Luke
Coombs, that's who it is LukeCoombs supported him and now
Luke Coombs is in Australia andNew Zealand doing stadium tours
and he's sold out and he's gotan incredible voice as well.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
So, mate, it's talent plus hard work Certainly
outwins talent alone yeah, justlike, just like anything and
things I've shared with my kids.
It's like the the art ofpractice, no matter what you do,
is always going to be important.
And I know when I was on yourshow we talked about like sales
people, and sales people like towing it.

(15:00):
They don't practice, but butspeaking you can practice.
Whether it's guitar, you canpractice basketball, golf, I
mean, doc, you probably practicebeing a better doctor, like
there's things you can do sothat's it.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Never stop learning.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Okay, well, I want to go back in time, sir, and learn
about life for Darren growingup and talk about the impact
that your what we would considerto be an average Australian
upbringing One brother, mum anddad, local house, one dog.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
We go on Christmas vacation we used to travel from.
For those of you who know thegeography of Australia, I'd live
in Melbourne, which is thesouthern part of Australia, and
we would drive to Queensland,which is the north part of
Australia, every Christmas forholidays and that would drive to
Queensland, which is the northpart of Australia, every
Christmas for holidays and thatwould be a two-day,
two-and-a-half-day drive andthat in itself would be an
adventure because our cars didnot have air conditioning in
those days so we'd be drivingthrough the heat.

(16:04):
But I always remember thosewith fond memories because my
dad was an Elvis fan, amongstothers, and he used to play lots
of country music, butthankfully in the car it was all
Elvis because we all likedElvis.
So sing-alongs were fantastic.
But the thing that I learntmost from, I guess, my parents

(16:26):
was work ethic, and not so muchfor what they said, more for
what they did.
My dad was a school teacher andlater in his life was a
principal of a school one of theschools and you know people
used to always say, oh, it mustbe an easy job.
Most school kids, you know,start at nine, finish at three.

(16:47):
So teachers must start at nineand finish at three.
They have all these holidaysthroughout the year and he used
to really get annoyed at thatbecause he, he said people don't
understand the amount of timeit takes to prepare for lessons,
to teach, you know,five-year-old, ten-year-olds,
ten-year-olds, six-year-olds,etc.
That it's not just the schoolhours, it's all the work outside

(17:07):
and and all these holidaysthey're caught up with either
catching up, doing curriculum,doing assessments, planning for
the next thing, doingconferences and things like that
.
But he never complained.
He never complained, he justgot up and did what he did and
he loved it.
One of the things I and hepassed in 1998.
So he passed at 54, which was54?

(17:32):
.
At 54, yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
He was diagnosed with cancer in 97 and died about 18
months later, late 98.
But later on in his career.
Because I was how old was Iwhen he passed?
I think I was my wife and I hadbeen married a couple of years,
so probably 29.
When he passed, I think I waswife and I've been married a

(17:57):
couple years, so probably 29.
Um, one of the things I got todo uh when I had time was was
actually watch him in action, um, and he would often do uh
assemblies or he'd doconferences, and I got to watch
in in some, in some situations.
I don't know how I got to dothat, but I managed to see that,
and what always impressed mewas his ability to speak in
public with no notes.

(18:19):
Now, it's funny how thingshappen, because I started out as
an engineer, I wanted to be anarchitect, I then got into sales
and back then I had no ambition, no inclination, no idea that
I'd end up being a corporateteacher, a corporate trainer,
trainer, a facilitator, a mentor, a coach, a podcaster, right.
All of which you have to bereally good at communicating and

(18:40):
part of which needs to becommunicating in public, right?
So I've actually just beenreflecting on this the last
couple years and think howinteresting is it that my father
was a teacher.
He taught me so much, not somuch by telling me what to do,
but showing me by example, onhow to communicate in the public
forum.
And here I am now doing exactlythe same thing, albeit not in a

(19:02):
school environment but more ina corporate environment, which,
by the way, sometimes it'schildren dressed up as adults
doing the same thing, andthere's a lot of parallels to
that.
But I think back in the lessonsthat he taught me was, it was
obviously preparation butservitude, and it was always
about how do I help the audienceand how do I demonstrate, care

(19:23):
for the audience and actuallydeliver a message.
It's something in it for themwhich is what we need in sales.
Um, from my mum's perspective,mum was very sporting.
Um, she still plays tennis.
She's in her late 70s and shestill plays tennis competitive
tennis a couple of days a week,does pilates and all that sort
of stuff.
So very, very active and veryfit.
And again, I mean, she spentmany of her years as a full-time

(19:44):
mum and then started to go backworking part-time, but she was
just always there and she, shecreated and helped create an
environment where both mybrother and I A felt safe, b
felt supported and C feltencouraged to take on activities
, take on health hobbies, and itwas always okay.
So we'll just give it a crack,give it a crack and we'll be

(20:05):
there to support you.
So I watched both my parents gothrough our early lives in our
early junior sporting careersbeing involved in football clubs
, early lives in our earlyjunior sporting careers being
involved in football clubs.
And it's what you are in thebasketball realm, whether that
be a team manager, teamassistant, coaching assistant or
coaching.
And I've found myself doingexactly the same thing for the
last, you know, 13 years runninga female football program here

(20:27):
where I live in Melbourne, andthe same issues exist today as
they did when I was a child,that is, it's very hard to get
volunteers, but we do it becausewe love creating an environment
where people can actuallyexpress themselves and do it in
a safe and encouragingenvironment.
So, man, lots of lessons.
And it's only now, when you askthis question, that I think,
wow, there's so many parallelsand so many things that we're

(20:49):
doing today that have theirorigins in the examples that my
parents set all those years ago,but at the time it's like we're
just going through life doingthings yeah, well, unfortunately
, I I share.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
I share the the pain of losing a father.
I lost my dad in 2021.
Um, uh, he had it was more of alonger, longer burn of like
just a rapture health stuff, souh doesn't make it easier, but
like kind of cancer is the worstI hate cancer.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
it is and it's and it's the thing, that thing that
the biggest lesson I I had fromthat is I mean, I don't, I don't
wish that upon anybody just tosee a loved one, um, just
deteriorate over time and becomea shell of their shell of their
former former self, a couple oftheir former self, a couple of
things.
One is at least we got theopportunity to say goodbye and

(21:40):
his wish was, if he was going topass, he wanted to pass in his
own home.
So he came home and we werethere.
My wife was there, my brotherand his wife were there and we
were there when he passed.
And it was a good thing knowingthat we were there, and I think
him knowing that we were thereas well gave him a little bit of
comfort.
But one of the biggest lessonshe taught me through this
process, casey, was he got tothe point where he obviously

(22:05):
accepted his fate and it was nolonger about him.
He was more concerned aboutwill my mum be okay?
Did he care for her enough toprovide for her so that she'd be
okay past?
You know, when he left, hisbiggest regret that he shared
with me that he would never getto see his grandkids, because
both my my brother and myselfhadn't yet had kids right.

(22:26):
And now there are four in the,in the family so, um, but he
never.
He never complained.
It was I never, ever heard himsay, oh my god, why is this
happening to me?
It's a case of you know what itis, what it is right.
How do I make sure that othersaround me are taken care of?
And I will fight this thingwith everyone I've got, but if
I'm fighting a losing battle,then I'm going to go down with

(22:47):
grace.
I'm not going to go downcomplaining.
And it was such a powerfullesson that I mean I still refer
to that today when I'm talkingto sales teams and when they,
when they saw this is happening,that's happening, and where is
me and why is this happening?
And somebody else's, somebodyelse's fault said guys, think
about what happens, is whathappens?
Your, your role is to definereality, but also think what

(23:09):
does that mean to you?
But, more importantly, what areyou going to choose to do about
it?
In response, you, you may notbe able to get the ideal
solution, but do something.
You've got to have this growthmindset, not a fixed mindset,
and that's what he had.
He said you know what, if I'mgoing to go, I'm going to get
out and fighting, but hey, I'vegot to make sure the people
around me know that I love themand I cared for them and
hopefully leave the world in abetter place.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Tell me where do you think that mindset of strength
came from for him?

Speaker 1 (23:39):
To be honest, I don't know, because his parents, his
father, his father was like a Iwouldn't say he was involved in
some shady stuff, but we wouldoften get things that fell off
the back of a truck and he wasinvolved in horse racing.
So my grandfather, his father,was a strapper, so he used to

(24:00):
work with horses a lot and heused to have contacts in various
places that things could happen, but he was not the type of
person that would necessarilyset an example.
So I think my father wassuccessful in his career, in
spite of what the upbringingthat he had was.
So perhaps he saw the examplesthat his parents were setting

(24:23):
and the people around hisparents and said, hey, I don't
want to be like that, I'm goingto choose a different path.
So he actually became and Iwouldn't say he became a
self-made person, but heobviously ended up surrounding
himself with people who taughthim a different way and started
to learn from there.
So we found some mentors inother areas.
Um, that's that's, and I'venever actually got the
opportunity to speak to himabout that, but looking back,

(24:46):
there were some things thathappened in some objects that
found themselves into our housethat were quite questionable.
I'm thinking hmm, there mighthave been a different path he
could have.
There might have been adifferent path he could have
gone down.
But he chose a different path.
And he chose because he wasdoing what he thought was right,
not what was easy.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
When he, if you remember, Darren, tell me, was
there ever like a kind of likethat eerie spiritual moment
before he passed?

Speaker 1 (25:14):
I got a sense and we had a dog at the time, um, a dog
called jemma, and she wouldspend a lot of time with him and
I think animals have have asixth sense.
So she, I think she knew,because she didn't want to leave
his side yeah, the night thathe passed and I wouldn't say

(25:34):
that there was any um obviousspiritual thing, but there was a
feeling that we got that, um,you know, today's the day or
tonight's the night, and when ithappens, all I can remember is,
yeah, there was sadness, butfor us it was actually more
contentment and relief.
And that might sound reallystrange to see a loved one pass,
but no I mean, for god's sake,he's now out of pain and he's

(25:59):
now at peace, and you knowwhether people believe in the
afterlife and stuff like that.
I firmly believe that he's nowin a better place and that you
know it was just devastating tosee him go through the suffering
, even though he didn't complainabout it.
I know the pain that he was inand all the morphine that he had
to get.
It just got to the point whereyou know what the best thing.
And I do remember having aconversation with him and he

(26:21):
could hear me, but he couldn'tprobably respond and we
basically said hey, dad, it'sokay.
It's okay when it's time, we'rehappy to let you go right and
and be okay and and for us thatwas that was cathartic, for us,
not so much to give himpermission but just to say it's
okay.
Because at the end of the day,when you think about it, for the

(26:43):
people that are left behind,yeah, they go through the
grieving process, but sometimes,unfortunately, we make it about
ourselves and say why did theychoose to leave me?
Right?
You think you know what?
Now this, this person's,probably it's their time, and
how do you help them make thattransition and give them a good
send-off to say, hey, it's okay,it's okay, we'll.
We'll be okay, because whatyou've done is you've left us

(27:03):
with things that we can.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
Keep you with us, but let you pass over and start
your next journey yeah, I, Iasked because when my dad passed
like the last two weeks, likeso dementia was just brutal,
like in it.
But, like um, I said the lastlike three, four weeks we went
and I saw him probably four orfive days a week.
Yeah, um, it was during covid.

(27:26):
So, my, we couldn't wait.
You know, my son, we had themasks on and stuff and so he was
there.
And, uh, I remember one time,like I don't, I'm not I wouldn't
say like a quote-unquotereligious person, but I'm very
spiritual a faith, you know,believe in higher power, believe
in god.
Um, and I remember, like on mymy dad couldn't really hear as
much he couldn't, but he couldread still.

(27:47):
So I remember on my phonesaying I said god loves you and
I wrote down and I showed it tohim and he smiles.
And then, um, I remember onetime he was staring at a picture
of his mom, my grandma Grace,who you know passed away, I
don't know 20 years ago, let'ssay.
And then all of a sudden hesees her.
He's pointing the picture andhe was pointing up in the room.

(28:11):
I go, what are you pointing atdad?
He's like I couldn't understand.
And he kept pointing at Dad.
He's like I couldn't understand, he kept pointing at his mom.
I go is grandma here?
He says yeah, and I'm like what, um?
And then one day I said I wrotehim the phone, I go, hey, I go,
dad, you know, you told youknow you're in pain, we love you

(28:32):
, you know we, we got here, youknow it's time, if we, if, are
you ready to go meet god?
He goes, not quite yet, butpretty soon, wow, I mean, and he
said it like so confidently itwas just like this very, very
kind of eerie to go through, butbut yeah, so peaceful.
And I, I was also there for mydad's last breath, holding his
hand, and yeah um, you don'tever think that's going to

(28:53):
happen, but it does, and well,it's a, it's an inevitability of
life, isn't it casey?

Speaker 1 (28:58):
so you know it's a cycle of life and when you think
about you know how, howminuscule we actually are in
terms of time and space and thesize of the universe and stuff
like that.
It's, it's like a speck and aspeck and a speck.
And I heard somebody saying theother day when you look at the
sheer size of that, thedifference in the universal
realm between 90 years and 30years is actually not that much.

(29:19):
But when we're here on Earthit's a huge amount of time.
And sometimes what we andcertainly I've got to always
think of this on a regular basisis sometimes we take time for
granted and think, well, I'll dothis tomorrow, I'll do this
next week.
And think, well, I'll do thistomorrow, I'll do this next week
.
And think, okay, for the peoplewho are no longer here, they
never had tomorrow, they'renever going to have next week.

(29:40):
So time is now.
So we should have and it's noturgency to say, oh, I've got to
make that extra sale, but it'sgo and reach out to that person
you haven't spoken to for awhile, go and reconnect with
that person who you've beenthinking about but you've been
putting off contacting becauseyou've been too quote-unquote
busy.
So in these type of times itreminds us and every time I've

(30:01):
got somebody that's close to methat passes, or I know somebody
within I guess, the environmentthat passes, it's always the
same thought process.
My God they're not here and itbecomes really real, and for a
short amount of time I think youknow what I've got to make
today count, and I do, but thenvery quickly, within about a
week we're back to business asusual.
So it's a constant reminder thatwe've got to make sure that

(30:23):
we've only got an infiniteamount of time.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
We don't know when our time is going to be up.
Well, sometimes we go throughthese like challenging times,
whether it's in business or adeath, like we talked about, or
um, and I'd be honest.
So I, as I mentioned, I was inAtlanta this week for for work
and um, my Uber driver, um, Ialways like to do a small talk

(30:46):
here and there, and he was anolder dude and, uh, late it was
he.
I said he had a good day.
He's like yeah, it's been good.
I go.
Did you just start or are youjust getting up?
No, you're my last drive.
I'm like oh cool, thanks forpicking me up.
And he's like I don't have manypeople say thanks, I go.
Well, you know, I kind ofbelieve in you treat people the
way you want to be treated,mindset.
And so we chat.

(31:07):
His English was broken and wetalked a little bit and I said
are you from the United States?
He's like no, I moved here, Igo from where?
He's like from Haiti, wow, andhe goes.
Yeah, he goes.
Unfortunately, it wasn't safethere anymore.
There was wars and gang issues.
And I'm like, oh my God, sorry,he goes.

(31:30):
What he goes.
Yeah, I actually left.
I had a house on the beach.
I had two master's degrees.
I was a executive at auniversity, but my family wasn't
safe and so I I moved theentire family to Atlanta, um,
and I can't wait to move back.
But I love it here.
people are nice, but I can'twait to move back yeah and just

(31:50):
like a perspective as a dad, Iwas like I told my kids when I
got home I'm like, just when youthink you're having a bad day,
don't I'm not saying feel guilty, but like just know someone has
it worse oh, absolutely,absolutely, and I mean he's he's
like 60 years old wow, and youmad.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
Can you imagine that?

Speaker 2 (32:09):
oh so he was 60 when he moved over yeah, he's like 60
, yeah, upper, maybe he's 60 now.
So like, yeah, late 50s, and Imean like if you like, you like
you're having the your elitepart of your career, you've
worked your ass off, you've madeenough money, you have a house
on the beach, yeah, and he hadto get rid of all of it just to

(32:29):
go stay safe with his familyit's insane.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
It's insane.
And when you think about that,like in Australia I mean
Australia has been, depending onwho you believe, has built on
the back of convicts beingshipped out from the motherland,
you know, years and years ago.
So we've all got convict bloodin us.
But you know, we hear storiesof first and second generation
Australians who had parents thatcame from England or came from
Greece or Italy, maced parentsthat came from England or came

(32:55):
from Greece or Italy, macedonia.
We've got a very multiculturalsociety here in Australia and a
lot of them came out withliterally the clothes on their
back and maybe a couple ofdollars in their pocket.
And one thing similar to theAmerican dream, the Australian
dream, is you know what, if youwork hard, you can create
whatever you want here inAustralia.
Right, and unfortunately there'sa lot of people in our country
I'm sure there's some people inyour country as well that you

(33:17):
know take it for granted thateverything's going to be given
to them and we need support bythe government, et cetera, et
cetera, of which our parents andgrandparents who came from
those countries didn'tnecessarily have, but somehow
they managed to actually build alife and create an environment
for their kids and their futuregenerations to be well looked
after.
So this work ethic anduprooting from Haiti to America,

(33:42):
or from England to Australia,or from Greece to Australia or
America I don't know if I coulddo that right, because I'm
thinking at my age.
Imagine doing that anduprooting the whole family and
starting again in a countrywhere many of them didn't even
know the language becauseEnglish wasn't necessarily their
native tongue.
And yet they've done it, and Imean that in itself.

(34:04):
You could probably spend hoursdissecting and thinking what are
the lessons there?
Because they're phenomenallessons on work ethic.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Well, another thing, I forgot to tell the story.
So I said what is your firstlanguage?
He goes, I speak French.
Phenomenal lessons on workethic.
Oh well, another thing, Iforgot to tell the story, so he.
I said what is your firstlanguage?
He goes, I speak, I speakFrench.
Well, I took two years ofFrench in high school and I'm 48
.
So that's like shoot 30 yearsago, I mean for a long time ago.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
And I, so I go, I, I just you know, and I told my
what did I say?
How did I say?
I forgot to say speak French.
My name's Casey.
Yeah, I said my name's Casey,and then I told him, like he
goes.
I said un peu, un peu, likejust, and he goes and I think
just being, you know, vulnerableto you know, have heinous

(34:46):
French and his English was notgood, but we had this little
connection, yeah, littleconnection, yeah, and uh, I just
told him I'm like again.
Hey, I'll say a prayer for you.
I wish you and your family safe.
I wish you guys can get back toum haiti and I hope it'll be
better.
But, like, I think I don't know, those stories of like
relationship is what I lovesharing with my kids.
Yeah, um, I'm sure you probablyhave stories for days of like,

(35:09):
stories of impact, you, thatyou've shared with your kids,
that maybe like.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
Hello everybody.
My name is Craig Coe and I'mthe Senior Vice President of
Relationship Management forBeeline.
For more than 20 years, we'vebeen helping Fortune 1000
companies drive a competitiveadvantage with their external
workforce.
In fact, Beeline's history offirst-to-market innovations has
become today's industrystandards.
I get asked all the time whatdid Casey do for your

(35:35):
organization?
And I say this it's simple.
The guy flat out gets it.
Relationships matter.
His down to earth presentation,his real world experience
applied to every area of ourbusiness.
In fact, his book Win theRelationship and Not the Deal
has become required reading forall new members of the global
relationship management team.

(35:56):
If you'd like to know moreabout me or about Beeline,
please reach out to me onLinkedIn.
And if you don't know CaseyJaycox, go to CaseyJaycoxcom and
learn more about how he canhelp your organization.
Now let's get back to today'sepisode.
Now let's get back to today'sepisode.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Maybe, as I said, does one come to mind that you
maybe want to share, that wasimpactful for your kids, that
you shared through your lifeexperiences.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Well, one story that actually happened to us.
So you know full disclosure.
Between Hayley and Tyra Lee wehad a third daughter.
It was actually.
She was born stillborn at 34weeks, so in 2002, so this year,
stillborn at 34 weeks.
So we and 2002, so this yearshe would have been 23 and we
named her Courtney, courtneyRose.

(36:41):
So Kerrilee was about 18 monthsold and we were expecting a
second child.
My wife's cousin was alsoexpecting at the same time and
she was probably about fourweeks um advanced of her.
So her son, jack, now is, he'sturning 23 this year, um, lovely

(37:04):
kid, um.
But the the story we go throughand it's probably a story of um.
I mean it's sad, but we've beenreally open about it since and
we we still celebrate Courtney'sbirthday every year.
I guess the investigationshowed that it was just an act
of God, there was no naturalcause, there was nothing wrong

(37:24):
with the baby, but it justhappened.
And we often talk about thatand I will say in total
transparency that Hayley, beingthe second daughter of the third
born, had has had somechallenges coming to grips with
that because when she was aboutseven or eight she was realizing
that huh, I'm here, butCourtney's not, and she started

(37:48):
to, I guess, try to analyze thatand saying, well, okay, so if
Courtneyney was here I wouldn'tbe here, but because courtney is
not here, I am.
So I was almost like, oh my god, I'm really sad because
courtney has passed and the onlyreason courtney passed was for
me.
So us having that conversation,we gave her some professional

(38:10):
help to work through that, um,and every now and then it sort
of still comes up and you know,there's a few tears in the eyes
and so forth.
But so well, you know, courtney, courtney was here.
This was, this was incourtney's destiny, right, so
that you could live, right.
So you're meant to be here.
So you've got to understandthat, and I guess your legacy to

(38:32):
that will be what do you chooseto do with your life?
And not so much as a testamentto Courtney, but Courtney is
within you, right.
So, um, take that forward andbe the best, best possible
version you can be and don't besad for it, because that was,
that was in Courtney's, that wasin Courtney's destiny.
So, um, but at the time, um, mywife and I were really, really

(38:53):
strong.
It helped us become closer.
But it was interesting to havepeople around us who didn't know
what to do, didn't know what tosay, and the lesson, looking
back, was we were very open andvery transparent and we said,
hey, we're not going to dismissthis, we're not going to not

(39:14):
talk about it, we're going tocelebrate this, we're going to
celebrate Courtney.
We've still got her ashes withus, we've got photos of her when
she was born, we've still gotour parents to come in and hold
her and all that sort of stuff,and we gave her a funeral.
All that told her and all thatsort of stuff, and we gave her a
funeral, all that.
So it was a lesson in hey,things happen that you don't

(39:39):
know why, and it's easy to blamecircumstances, easy to blame
others, but it's like you knowwhat excuse the France.
But shit happens, right it'swhat you choose to do with it.
in response to that, that willultimately define you, but do
not let that event define you.
So, when we've had challengeswith our kids and we've not
necessarily referred back to ushey, remember, your sister is

(40:00):
not we didn't say that at all,but we've said, hey, let's put
this into context, right, what'sthe lesson here?
Can you affect anything that'sjust happened?
Well, if the answer is no, it'sbeyond your control then the
conversation shifts to okay,what do you have control over?
You've got control over thechoices you now make and the
actions that you now choose totake.
That's it.
Let go of the need to have theperfect outcome.

(40:22):
Just take the next step andhave faith that it will be okay,
it will all work out, becauseat the end of the day, if it
hasn't worked out, then it's notthe end right, so I want to
make sure I don't know if Iquite heard when you're saying
the story so did was how old wascourtney before she passed?
she was still born.
So she died in utero.

(40:43):
She, she was um at 34 weeks.
I I came home from work one dayand shari, my wife, said, um, I
can't feel the baby moving,because she was very much a
mover, um.
And my wife was a little bitconcerned.
We thought we'll just see howit goes, we'll let it go for a
couple of hours and nothing,nothing changed.
So I rang.

(41:04):
I rang our obstetrician and hesaid right, I'll meet you at the
hospital because we'll do someanalysis.
So we went in and had theultrasounds and they couldn't
find a heartbeat.
So that's when he said look, itlooks like there's no heartbeat
.
And he was very calm, verysoothing, fabulous, fabulous guy

(41:27):
.
He's delivered all of our kidsand, yeah, my wife had to be
induced.
So it was, I think, 48 hourswhen Courtney was born.
And I've got to say in thehospital, the people at the
hospital were phenomenal andthey treated us just like you're
having a baby, right, it wasn't.
Oh my God, woe is you, I'm sosorry, et cetera.

(41:49):
It was like, hey, you're havinga baby, right, it wasn't.
Oh my God, woe is you, I'm sosorry, et cetera.
It was like, hey, you're havinga baby.
And when she was born, theygave us time to spend with her,
which was phenomenal.
So I think that was helpful forus because it started the, I
guess, the healing process orthe meaning process.
We did go through a stage of whydid this happen, et cetera, et

(42:09):
cetera.
Then we said it you know, wedid go through a stage and why
did this happen, etc.
Etc.
And then we said you know whatus looking for answers is not
going to change the fact thatshe's passed.
What do we do?
How do we move forward?
And and we started thinking,well, how do we now, how do we
now treat this?
And how do we now, you know,treat people around us because
they've got no idea what to say,what to do?
And so we said, hey, this hashappened.

(42:30):
We don't know why.
We're going to try and find outwhy, but let's be open about it
and and talk about it, right,and if people feel nervous, then
we're going to try and taketheir nervousness away by
proactively talking about ityeah, I love, I love your
approach, man.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
I, I'm, I mean you're , you're speaking my language.
I think what, what you're doingis being vulnerable and you're
being vulnerable to share, andthat's the one thing we as
humans have in common.
We all have shit that happensto us, we all have issues, we
all have fears, we all havethings that make us sad, make us
laugh.
Yet so many of us keep thesethings close to the vest, like I
got to be perfect and I can'tshow any help.

(43:06):
And I'm hopeful that there's afamily that comes across this
episode and is inspired to say,well, you know what?
Yeah, that's happened to us.
But here's an example of some.
Maybe it's someone in theUnited States listened to, but
someone in Australia, they, they, actually they got back in the
batter's box and they wanted toyou know, for a baseball analogy
and they, they had another,they had a healthy daughter and

(43:27):
she's thriving and she's doinggreat.
And you know we're still goingto celebrate the, the, the, the
daughter.
You know that left, you know,had to go, unfortunately, if
that doesn't make sense, but itis what it is.
But I think your story isinspiring and it's, I think I
appreciate you sharing, becauseI didn't.
I didn't know this before westarted recording, but I think
this is the powerful stuff.

(43:47):
Why I started this podcast sixyears ago is to hear these
stories, to hear what, what dadscan learn from other dads.
Um, because I I feel like everytime I talk to dads on this
podcast, I feel like I'm gettingfree therapy today included.
You know well, yeah I mean it's.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
It's interesting to say, I mean, and I've always
been an open book, right so, andyou, you would know this, you
know running sales, kickoffs andin the work that you do that if
, if we are, if we are to be agood leader, if we're to be an
exceptional leader, then we'vegot to be ourselves, and part of
ourselves is there'll be somegood stuff, there'll be some not
so good stuff and there'll besome challenges we've had to

(44:28):
deal with and overcome and wemay have overcome all of them.
But I guess I believe a trueleader is an authentic leader,
that you get all the bells andwhistles, you get all the warts
and all right.
So I've got nothing to hide.
There's absolutely nothing tohide.
But in everything that happensthere's a lesson.
If we choose to find what theseat of that lesson is and I

(44:51):
look back now and think you knowwhat, that's part of our story,
right, we can't rewrite thestory, and when people ask you
know, if you go back in time,whether it be in your career or
in your life, would you want torewrite anything?
I said no, everything that'shappened has been a combination
of who we are today and if wechange that.

(45:14):
It's like going into timetravel.
You really want to changethings to get a better result.
Well, you know what.
There's going to be a price topay for that.
But the key thing is what is thelesson and how can you move
forward from that lesson despitethe difficulty you might have
gone through at the time.
That's the thing.
The unfortunate thing, though,casey, as we know, is sometimes
you need the passage of time tohave the perspective, to look

(45:35):
back and think what was theactual lesson, because when
you're going through it, thelast thing you're thinking about
, to be brutally honest, is whatis the positive lesson out of
this?
How can I demonstrate a growthmindset so I can move forward?
No, you're going through ashitstorm.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Let's be honest, right, and you're a lot of time
to take, time to like be open,to like even hearing the reason,
but like when you can be in theright mindset of acceptance and
like, okay, I can't change whathappened, um I totally agree
with that and the majority ofadversity moments in my life I
still reflect on like I've beenthrough, that, I can get through
this or I went through that andthis is the lessons I learned.

(46:12):
let's go back and really bethoughtful and present with
those thoughts, to use thoseskills now.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Correct.
And in times of challenge andin times of grief, the natural
human tendency is to want towrap your arms around somebody
and console them and be therefor them, and there's nothing
wrong with that, other thanyou've got to make a decision.
Is this the best strategy forthat person at this particular
time?
Sometimes all that person needsis you to be there for them,

(46:39):
and that means just being thereand not saying anything, just
not doing anything, just beingthere.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Just listen.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
And not try to make meaning of anything, because
nothing has meaning.
I had, with the greatest amountof respect, my mother at the
time when we lost Courtney, wasasking all these questions.
You know why did Shari falldown?
And it was just the oldthinking that she'd been brought
up with, that she needed tolook for a reason as to why this
happened, because thisshouldn't quote-unquote happen.

(47:10):
I said, mum, it's happened,there's nothing we can do about
it.
Right, it's an act of God, it iswhat it is.
What can we do with it now?
Well, we've got to all find away to move forward, and so I
think the lesson I got from thatwith my wife and I is we were
the ones that had to be thecatalyst that then led others
around us in terms of how tomore effectively deal with that,

(47:32):
and if we hadn't have done that, we probably wouldn't have had
the relationship that we nowhave with everybody and, I guess
, the freedom of how we now, um,recollect and talk about that
experience, but also remembercourt as the person that she she
was and is yeah, a lot of goldin that man, a lot of wisdom and
, um, powerful stuff, to say theleast.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
Um, I want to transition to um.
One of the questions I was likeasking dads is like an area,
and now that you have, you'vesuccessfully, you got, you got
two adults.
They're not in jail, they're,they're surviving, they're doing
great, they're doing goodthings in the world.
But if you can look back andsay, for that, maybe a dad's
listening that that you could,you could share maybe an area of
your dad game that wasn't quitewhere you wanted to be, if you

(48:17):
could go back and say, man, Iwish I was a little bit more
this um, that we can maybe helpa younger dad prevent the same
mistakes that maybe you havemade.
Or, like I always lean onpatience for me, like sometimes
I lost my patience early that Iwish I could be more patient.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
It's a great question .
When I was a younger dad, Ididn't appreciate how quickly
time would pass and just lookingback at photographs even when
you get your Facebook feed, comeup with memories and stuff like
that and I look back seven,eight years and I think, my God,
the kids look so young.
Right, if I had any sort ofregret or any lesson going back

(48:59):
and not so much that I'd changethings, but maybe I'd be more
conscious of things is thisconcept of quantity versus
quality of time.
So at the time when the kidswere younger, I was in sales
leadership, responsible for $50million to $100 million of
revenue, and it was anall-consuming job.
I had a lot of trouble workinglong hours, sometimes weekends,

(49:21):
which meant that I didn't havenecessarily the opportunity to
spend the quantity of time withthe kids that I would ideally
like to.
So when I'm talking to youngerdads today who are also chasing
the dream of a big career orbuilding their own business,
we're also very conscious of thefact that you've and I look at

(49:41):
this as we're a temporarycustodian of our children until
they fly the nest, and what ourkids are looking for is not just
quality of time.
They're looking for quantity oftime, because at a young age,
quality equals quantity.
They want to spend time withyou and I look back and think
you know what I was with them,because I did a lot of things

(50:02):
with them in terms of volunteerstuff on the weekends and went
to their schools when I couldand helped take swimming lessons
and things like that.
If I'm brutally honest, thereare some of those occasions
where I wasn't necessarilywatching them like I should have
been, because I had my head ina phone or responding to
voicemails or whatever the casemight be, thinking that's

(50:23):
productivity time, that I can dothings and multitask right.
So don't ever forget that as ayoung father, father, what your
kids are looking for is timewith their dad right now.
I say to leaders today one of mycatchphrases I talked all about
, all about all the time is yourgreatest gift that you can give
to your team members and, bythe way, the greatest gift that

(50:45):
you can give to your children isthe gift of your attention, and
by attention it's undividedattention, it's being fully
present, free of distractions.
Now, if that means you have toprioritize half an hour with
your daughter, with your son,over half an hour with your vice
president of sales, then dothat and do not make apologies
for that.
I sometimes I think, compromisethat and I not so much regret

(51:12):
that that.
But if I had my time over againbecause I still think I spent a
good chunk of time because Ihad flexibility in my role so
I'd often come home early on afriday and we'll go out for
afternoon tea with the kids andthat would just be family time.
Um, and that was, that wasfantastic, but I think I'd want
to do more of that no, that's agood one for a small amount of
time in the whole scheme ofthings.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
No, that's a good one .
I think that'll speak to a lotof dads.
I think it's um, it's importantto just reflect and just like
you know when, when Darren and Iwork with sales leaders or
sales teams, we're alwaysteaching people to check your
ego, be coachable dads we can doto our kids and, um, we both
have a passion for curiosity,which I think curiosity solves a
lot of the world's problems.
If we ask more questions of ourkids, we're going to try to

(51:55):
connect with them.
Well then, that's a that's agreat way to do it.
But, um, like, I like how youworded that, um, if you had to
kind of summarize things youlearned from your parents, um,
things you and your wife um werethe, I guess, the values you
learned from your parents, thevalues that were important to
you and your wife um, that ifyou had to like summarize like

(52:17):
two or three that you know dads,they took anything from our
episode.
They could say, hey, here aretwo or three things from a value
perspective that if you getreally good at these things,
you'll increase the chance ofhaving a good, healthy home,
home.
Tell me what comes to mind.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is
relationships and caring andjust be a loving person, be a
good person, making sure thatyour kids are in a safe
environment and you create asafe environment, which means
you've got to be happy withyourself.
So I think contentment is andcontentment can sometimes be
misconstrued because I can becontent and have no money.

(52:58):
You've got to be content anddriven at the same time.
So certainly the work ethiccomes in, so you work hard, but
I think it's the love andsupport and the connection
that's the most important thing,because, as they say in the
classics, you can always go andmake more money, but you can't
make a lot more time, because Idon't know anybody that's been

(53:18):
able to create more time.
But if you've got that, thenfocus on connection.
So if I look back on myupbringing, we had that
connection.
So we were always together onthe weekends.
We were always together fordinners at night time and stuff
like that.
We did holidays together, so weactually had that time to
connect.
And I think there are somefamilies that have lost that

(53:39):
today because these things,these smartphones, are a bit of
a well, not a bit a huge amountof distraction.
So if I was thinking aboutvalues love, connection,
integrity, work, ethic are thekey ones that we have it might

(54:01):
sound like a real one, a weirdone.
It's not.
I don't call it chilled, but beokay with the world, right,
it's.
Whatever's happening ishappening.
Yeah, surrender.
And one thing and this is if Ilook back, I think one of the
things that may have contributedto my dad getting sick was he

(54:24):
was always worrying.
He was always anxious aboutsome stuff, right, worrying.
He was always anxious aboutsome stuff, right.
Um, and if I look at when hepassed, or even years, years
earlier, he started to lookolder.
And I look back now and thephotos that I've got of him in
his late 40s I mean, I lookyounger at 56 than he did in his

(54:46):
late 40s and I just wonderwhether that was part of the
worrying that he had.
And so what I've learned fromthat is hey, shit's going to
happen, right?
The question I ask is can I doanything about that?
And if the answer is yes, thenlet me do something about it.
If the answer is no, the nextquestion is okay, what can I do

(55:07):
in response to that that I havecontrol over, right?
So stop worrying about thestuff that's out of your control
and start focusing on thethings you do have control.
So you know and you would knowthis running a business, you
know there are days and weeksand months and sometimes years,
where it's up and down like aroller coaster.
We talk about theentrepreneurial roller coaster,
right?
So there are days like thingsare going fantastic.

(55:28):
Then there are other days don'tknow where's my next client
come from, my goodness, and itwould be easy to worry and get
caught up in that.
One of the things I've learnedto do is you know what, at the
end of the day, everything'sgoing to work out because I've
got some good principles, I'm agood person, I've got a good
heart, I'm here to serve peoplewill be good because the world

(55:49):
has ways of actually making surethat people like us, who are
here to serve, will always gettaken care of.
So, hey, don't sweat the smallstuff.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
I agree, man.
Okay, if people have beenintrigued which I know they will
and they want to learn moreabout Darren Mitchell, they want
to learn more about youpersonally.
They want to learn about yourbusiness.
They want to learn about yourpodcast.
Maybe they want to hire you asa coach or a sales trainer.
Tell me what's the best way wecan make you easy to find.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Thank you, casey.
Best way is the world famousLinkedIn.
It is the world's biggestnetworking platform, run off the
same search engine as Google,pretty much so if you just go
into LinkedIn and either searchfor Darren Mitchell or put in
sales leadership coach, thatwill come up with me, happy to

(56:39):
connect on LinkedIn.
My website's there, my podcastis there, but my website is
exceptionalsalesleadercom.

Speak (56:48):
ExceptionalSalesLeadercom .
We'll make sure that's linkedin the show notes.
We'll'll make sure that'slinked, uh, in the show notes.
We'll make sure that yourpodcast is linked in the show
notes.
Um, darren, it's now time, uh,to go into what I call the
lightning round, which is I'mgoing to show you, I'm going to
show you the negative hits.
Have taken too many hits incollege, not bong hits, but
football hits.
Your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can,

(57:12):
and my job is to try to makeyou laugh.
Okay, okay, okay, I want to get, get.
Get get your game face on Cause, then I don't want to start
laughing.
Are you ready?
Okay, true or false.
When you came to Vegas, it wasbecause you were the lead dancer
in Thunder Down Under.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
I'd like to say.
I'd like to say, uh, true, butit's actually false.
Me dancing mate, like thatwould be the quickest way to get
rid of all the people in theauditorium.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
See I, I have issues.
Oh god, I don't know how thisstuff gets in my head.
I really there's a doctor thatcan come see I have issues.
Oh God, I don't know how thisstuff gets in my head.
I really there's a doctor thatcan come see me.
I have mental problems.
Okay, um, tell me your favoritebook.
Uh, you read in the last year,or maybe your favorite book you
read?

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Uh favorite book Laters, ate last, it's all the
same.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
Here we go.
Uh, favorite comedy movie isComedy movie Blazing Saddles.
Oh, so good.
I don't think it would survivein this day and age.
But oh my God, that's so manygood one-liners in that movie.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
And shortly quickly behind.
That is Flying High.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
Okay, there we go, there we go.
Um, if you and your wife aregoing to go on vacation right
now, just you two.
No, sorry girls, you're stayinghome, but mom and dad are going
on vacation.
Tell me where you're going uhvietnam okay, if, um, I came to
your house for dinner tonight Itook the fastest plane ever and
I can make it in time for dinnertell me what we would have

(58:52):
tonight right, you would behaving some beautiful australian
beef on the barbecue umaccompanied by some beautiful
beetroot salads, some roastpotatoes and one of the finest
bottles of shiraz you'd evertasted that sounds really good
that sounds good sounds reallygood.
Um, if I went into your phone,yeah, what would be the one

(59:16):
genre of music that mightsurprise your daughters you
listen to it might surprise mydaughters.

Speaker 1 (59:24):
Uh well, taylor swift , I don't know.
I don't know if that's a genre,but when we get in the car
together, that's the only thingthat's on it.
My choice, which is not asurprise to her, is Country with
Darius Rucker, Luke Coombs.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
True or false.
Your podcast guest you'restaring at can play Wagon Wheel
on the guitar.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
I would say true.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
I can Did I get that right.
You do Yep, I can play it.
Okay, if there was to be a bookwritten about your life, tell
me the name of the book.

Speaker 1 (59:58):
The Exceptional Sales Leader.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Okay, You've got a good job.
Okay, Now, Darren theExceptional Sales Leader.
It's one hell of a book.
I've read it 10 times.
It's so good.
And now it's being broadcasteverywhere.
It's worldwide.
Hollywood now has found it inHollywood, California, and they
want to make a movie here in theUnited States.
But you are the castingdirector and I need to know

(01:00:20):
who's going to star the sexy,strong, talented Darren Mitchell
in this critically acclaimed,hit new movie.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
I think the only person who could play it, and he
may not have any actingbackground, but I think it might
be a guy called Casey Jacobs.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
Oh God, I thought you were going to say Crocodile
Dendy, I'm like you can't pickthe easy Australian.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
If Casey wasn't available.
I reckon either a Mark Wahl orum somebody like that now, there
you go a little tough, tough,tough boston guy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
Okay, and last question and most important
question tell me two words thatwould describe your wife caring
and at ease.
There we go lightning roundsover.
We both laughed, we bothlaughed, we both had fun, but I
learned a ton about you.
Thank you for being a guest onthe show.

(01:01:17):
I want to remind everybody that, dad, you do not need a podcast
to have conversations likethese, you just need a phone.
You need to make the consciouschoice to be a little curious
and phone a friend you haven'ttalked to in a while and don't
just say hey, how things goingLike really mean it, and ask
second or third or fourth levelquestions and find out what's
going on in their life and findout, maybe, how you can be a
better friend.

(01:01:37):
Or maybe your wife, how can yoube a better husband this week?
Or to your kids, how can I be abetter dad this week and truly
mean it?
Uh, I got that question from aprevious guest named Matt Miller
.
Shout out to Maddie forlistening, and he uh, it's a
great measurable way for us toadd.
So if we want our kids to becoachable, we need to be
coachable too and find ways tobe better versions of ourselves.

(01:01:58):
Um, I want to thank every dadwho continues to listen.
Um, if this episode has touchedyou or meant something to you.
In a way, you know the biggestgift you can, you can do for us
here the show is just share itwith someone else.
If you're not taking time toleave a review on the Apple
store or Spotify, wherever youconsume your podcast, please go
ahead and do that.
That would mean a lot to us aswell.

(01:02:19):
But, darren, thank you againfor your time.
Brother Appreciate you and I'mglad our paths have crossed and
I hope to one day meet you inperson.
That'd be fantastic.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Thanks guys, it's been an absolute pleasure.
Mate, Stay well and all thebest.