From Wall Street to Rock Stars: A Dad's Journey with Chad Wall

Send us a text

What happens when you raise children with both humility and fierce independence? Finance executive Chad Wall joins the Quarterback Dadcast to share the remarkable journeys of his three thriving adult children - an Air Force pilot's wife with a master's degree, a globe-trotting outdoor film editor, and a rising rock star whose band just landed major touring opportunities.

Chad reveals the parenting philosophy that shaped these success stories: being "deliberately present." This isn't just about showing up physically, but also about demonstrating genuine interest in your children's lives and making them feel inherently valuable, regardless of their pursuits. Drawing from lessons learned from his feisty, empathetic mother and his hardworking, loyal father, Chad and his wife Michelle created a home where their kids felt both supported and free to forge their own paths.

The conversation takes us through Chad's "life-altering conversations" with his son about pursuing music, his approach to maintaining close relationships with his adult children, and the core values that have become the foundation of his family. You'll hear how understanding multiple perspectives, fostering self-worth, and striking a balance between guidance and independence created the framework for his children's confidence and compassion.

Whether you're raising teenagers, launching young adults, or navigating empty-nest parenthood, Chad's practical wisdom offers a blueprint for developing character rather than controlling outcomes. 

His story reminds us that our children don't measure successful parenting by following our footsteps, but by the humans they become and the values they carry forward.

Stay tuned to the end for a special treat - a song from Chad's son Kellen's band Marfa, showcasing the talent that's taking them on tour with established acts across the country. This episode is a masterclass in raising children who are both humble and confident enough to pursue their wildest dreams.

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad show.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the
quarterback dad cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were

(00:34):
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.
Well, hey, everybody, it'sCasey Jaycox with the
Quarterback Dadcast.
We are in season six and ournext guest.
If I would have told you when Imet this cat shoot probably 15,

(00:58):
16, 17 years ago that we'd bedoing the thing called a podcast
, I'd be like what the hell isthat?
But I know what they are now.
I don't think our guest quitedoes what he's got himself into,
but he's one of Kenridge HighSchool's finest.
He's a Montana grizzly.
He's really the mayor of ValleyMeadows neighborhood, if
anybody knows where that is.
He has been in wealthmanagement for years.

(01:18):
He's now a market vice, I thinka managing director and senior
vice president of US Bank.
So he's been helping outfamilies across the United
States for years, so we'll learna little more about that.
He also has three talented kids.
We're going to learn about that.
And we're going to learn howour next guest, Chad Wall, is
working hard, or continuallyworking hard, to be that
ultimate quarterback or leaderof his household.

(01:39):
So, without further ado, MrWall, welcome to the Quarterback
Dadcast.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Well, thank you, and I'm humbled to be honest with
you.
As I mentioned at the beginning, I'm like man you grabbed the
most average dude in the world,but I'll talk about my kids all
day long because they're theextraordinary people in my life.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
So yeah, so.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
I'm just I'm really happy to be here and really
appreciative.
So thanks a lot.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Well, it's going to be fun.
Well, we always start out withgratitude, so tell me, what are
you most grateful for as a dadtoday?

Speaker 4 (02:07):
I'm grateful for three amazing kids and a
beautiful wife and a family thatyou know we set out to build
and not really knowing what wewere going to get ourselves into
and you know it's been anamazing, an amazing journey.
So I'm extremely grateful forjust what we have, you know, and
uh, uh, that's you know mostlywhat I'm just extremely grateful

(02:28):
for.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Love it.
Well, I'm, uh, I'm grateful for, um, a couple of things.
Well, I'm grateful for yourfamily, because your kids helped
babysit our kids when they wereyounger, so that that was fun.
Uh, now it's fun to see thembecoming adults and doing big
things out in the world.
But, um, I say I'm grateful.
Both of my kids have, uhboyfriends and girlfriends and

(02:49):
they went from not havingboyfriends and girlfriends to
like being all in and both kidsare in love, which is really
really kind of cool to see forthe first time.
But, uh, we're getting thetaste of what it's like to be an
empty nester because they don'twant to hang out.
I mean, they want to hang outhere, but like it's like they're
usually hanging out with eachother.
So it's where the band-aidswere getting ripped off and
we're learning all about whatthat next phase of life is going

(03:10):
to be like.

Speaker 4 (03:11):
Yeah, yeah.
No, I hear you.
We've been empty nesters now, Ithink, for gosh, three, four
years, right, so, and it was anadjustment, right.
I mean we're a lot like you.
We've been together for a verylong time.
We had to kind of redate againwhen the kids left.
So I hear you, yeah, that'scool, that's cool.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yeah Well, bring me inside.
So I know a little bit aboutthese fantastic wall kids, but
bring us inside the huddle andtell us a little bit about each
child and then also share whereyou and your lovely bride met.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
Okay.
Well, I'm going to start wheremy lovely and I, where we met.
How's that?
I think that's the beginning.
So we were high schoolsweethearts.
We met at Cambridge right.
So alma mater go Chargers.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
And she was in a different crowd.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
She was in a good crowd.
I was in the I wouldn't say thebad crowd, but I was definitely
in the more rowdy crowd.
She was out of my league,there's no doubt about it.
She had actually asked one ofour best friends.
She was friends with this guysince kindergarten.
I always had this crush on thisguy.
I was good friends with him.

(04:22):
She asked him to a solo dancewhere the you know the girl
asked the boy and he'd alreadybeen going to somebody and he
said you need to ask Chad Walland she said there's no way I'm
gonna ask Chad Wall.
He's, he's in a totallydifferent group.
And and Brett said no, no, he's, he's good man, ask him.
So she asked me and uh, youknow I, I was blown away, as I
say, you know she, I outpuntedmy coverage, right, and I was

(04:44):
like there's no way she's gonnaask me.
And she did.
And uh, and yeah, it just tookoff.
And uh, we knew pretty muchwithin the first few months we
were, we were meant for eachother and we were gonna get
married and um and then and thenwe did in my senior year of
college.
So, um, I've been together 38years.
We just had our datinganniversary.
Believe it or not, we still, uh, still remember that we and

(05:04):
we've been together 38 years.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
We just had our dating anniversary, believe it
or not.

Speaker 4 (05:06):
We still remember that and we've been married 35.
So, yeah, in that process wehad our first kid.
We've been married about six,seven years and Taylor, my
oldest, she is 28, which is hardfor me 28?
.
Yeah, isn't that something 28.
What the hell.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
How is that possible?

Speaker 4 (05:23):
She just turned 28 earlier this month, and she's an
amazing kid.
Right, she's the blonde hair,blue eyes, tall, you know, good
looking.
I mean when she was growing upI'm like, oh man, I am in
trouble.
And you know me, I'm 5'8 and ahalf, I'm not a big dude man.
So you know I had to figure outsomething else to become a
little bit more scary for theguys who were going to show up.

(05:46):
But she graduated from theUniversity of Washington.
She married her high schoolsweetheart, who's actually an
amazing story in himself.
He was a graduate of the AirForce Academy.
They sent him to Harvard.
He's now a finer pilot in theAir Force.
She, in her own right,graduated from the University of
Washington, got her master's atBaylor.

(06:07):
She is a speech therapist.
They live up in AnchorageAmazing things that are going on
in their lives.
No grandkids, yet I'm not sureif they're really actually
wanting them.
Right now they're having a goodtime, you know, being dual
income.
No kids and uh and yeah andliving that so um so yeah, she's
she's an amazing, amazingperson I've been married about,

(06:30):
uh, I think, six years.
She got married in 2019, um, so,yeah, six years.
Uh, mckenna is my middledaughter.
She is complete opposite oftaylor.
She is brown hair, brown eyes.
She's the athlete of the family, played, you know, premier
soccer in high school.
She went to Boise State.
She's a hiker, she's outdoorsy,she I mean they do deep woods,

(06:54):
not wimpy stuff like me.
I mean they go deep into thewoods for three days and they
camp, and she is.
She's an outdoor film editor.
So it works for an outdoorfilming company and she's an
editor doing exactly what shewants to do.
She's traveled.
I mean she's seen more of theworld.
I mean at her age and she's 26,.

(07:15):
She'll be 27 in September.
She's been to the Philippinesand Germany and I mean you know
Spain, and I mean all over theplace with this company and it's
just awesome to see what she'sdoing.
Wow, living her dream.
And then my youngest son, kellen, he's 25.
He's another fun story.

(07:35):
So he went to University ofColorado, denver, got a senior
songwriter degree and about sixmonths before graduation, you
know, I had a father sonconversation.
I said you know, graduate, whatare you going to do and he said
at the time he's working, he'sstill working at Takova's Cowboy

(07:56):
Boot Company and he said I'mgoing to, I'm not going to be a
rock star, dad.
He goes, that's a, that's adead end.
You know, trail, it's likethat's a hard thing to do and
there's just no way I could doit.
Um, so he said I'm gonnaprobably go work for takovas
corporate in their marketing uh,division and uh, a couple
months before graduation, himand a buddy posted a song on the
internet.

(08:17):
He got a million and a half hitsand things just took off and
they, uh, they became you.
They had music managers comingafter them and they were legit.
We had them checked out andthey started this process of
becoming a rock star, and sothey signed up with this
management company.
They're touring in the summerwith a group called Head Heart

(08:39):
and they've got a whole bunch ofother tours that they've now
announced.
They've headlined a coupleshows.
They're negotiating a recordcontract right now.
They signed up with CAA, whichis one of the country's largest
agencies for, you know, concertsand all that stuff, and it's
been crazy.
You know the ride they're on.
It's been a year and they arejust taking off, so that's like

(09:01):
I said I can talk about my kidsthe whole hour because, um, you
know, sitting back and being aspectator and watching this
unfold is just blowing us away,you know, and it's just, it's
just a blessing.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
So yeah, so that's, that's, that's the family.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
Well, we will get into.
Uh, we will get into.
Um, uh, I want to make sure wewe help spread.
Uh, I want to make sure we helpspread Kellen's musical skills
with him and his buddy theband's called Marfa.
We'll talk about that later inthe show, but I want to rewind
the tape.
I always like asking my guestswhat was it like growing up for

(09:41):
you and then talk about theimpacts your parents had on you
from a values perspective.
That you and then talk aboutthe impacts your parents had on
you from like a valuesperspective that you and
Michelle were like hey, theseare important to us because we
both raised this way and this ishow we're going to raise our
kids.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
Uh, yeah, I was.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
I'm the last of five Uh so yeah, and, and, and it
sounds like you know, we'reeither Mormon or Catholic.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
We're not.
You know, I was born in SaltLake city, right?
So I was born in Salt Lake City.
I was born in Salt Lake City.
That's where my parents arefrom my mom's, actually from.
Texas.
My dad is from Price, Utah.
I was the last of five and theymoved up here in 1976.
My dad got a transfer.
There's a great story to my dadand the way he lived.

(10:22):
As you become an adult, youstart to see your dad as a
person.
You're like, oh my gosh, youknow he, he, he had his own
challenges and he did prettydoggone good job of of, uh you
know what he was able toaccomplish, um, in his life.
So, um, yeah, I mean we had.
We have a close family.
Uh, both mom and dad havepassed away.
My oldest sister's passed away.

(10:42):
There's four of us left.
My two brothers live in MapleValley, so close to me.
My sister lives in Chelan andwe talk all the time.
In fact, she's coming here thisweekend to stay with us.
So we're a close family.
We've always been close growingup, which I think has really
helped us.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
You know, when both your parents passed away, you
kind of reflect um on on whatthey provided you right in life.
And and my mom passed away in2015.
I spoke at her funeral and Iremember, you know, thinking
gosh, what was it?
Those are three things.
I guess that she really gave meone of most uh, humility she
was.
She taught humility, which youdo, which I love, but she also

(11:26):
taught you know how to be feisty, which was interesting, right.
So you get this humility andfeistiness.
Yeah, she's a fighter.
I told my wife when she met me.
I said you know, the wall,women are tough.
Because I have two oldersisters.
So it went two sisters, twobrothers, and then me.
I said the wall, women aretough.
I'm like they're going to be,they're, they're tough to to.

(11:48):
You know, get into the circleof trust, but once, once you're
in, you're in and they willfight to the death for you.
I'm like so.
But she's very humble and shewas very, very empathetic,
always extremely empathetic.
She taught me to understandboth sides of the story before

(12:11):
you make your own judgment.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
You know, and she even said look if you're going
to be convicted about something

Speaker 4 (12:17):
know the other side of the story, it really deepens
your conviction, right.
She's like then you can reallybe convicted about what you
believe in.
So, yeah, so she instilled,instilled, you know, kind of
that she was.
She was uh, very, uh, very goodabout kind of giving us that,
um, motherly overture as well as, uh, letting us feel like we
could be independent.

(12:38):
Right, um, my dad he was.
He was a salesman, right.
So he was an interesting guy.
You know, what got him intosales was he was working for a
company.
He was actually driving adelivery truck, five kids at
home, okay, and he had 50 bucksin his bank account.
And he walked into themanager's office and he said I
want to be in sales or I'm goingto quit.

(13:00):
And the guy said quit, and mydad quit.
So he said he's driving home.
He's like, oh my gosh, I've gotfive kids at home, 50 bucks in
the bank.
What am I going to tell my wife?
Right, but that's kind of whathe was, right, he was just a
survivor.
And then he went and got asales job and he became a great
sales professional in his career.

(13:21):
But you know, that's just kindof what he was.
And he always what he taught meand again I spoke at his
funeral in 2019.
You know the things he taught mehe was, you know, one of them
for sure was well, he wasextremely loyal to his family,
fiercely loyal so he would.
You know he believed infighting for family and making

(13:42):
sure that, you know, we wereprotected.
So he was very much like that hewas also, you know, things
reverberate in my head andsometimes they come out of my
mouth and I'm like, oh, I'msorry, kids, I sound like my dad
, right, but it's, you know, dothings right the first time, you
don't have to do them again.
And work hard.
You know everything you do ifyou believe in it, work hard.

(14:06):
You know everything, everythingyou do.
If you believe in it, work hardat it.
Um, you know he reallyinstilled work ethic in me hard
work, figuring out things.
He was scrappy, you know.
He didn't go to college and heended up being a, you know, I'd
say middle class, upper middleclass income, her in the, you
know, latter part of his career,just because he was scrappy,
you know.
And so he, he instilled a lot inin us as far that survivability
.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
And what I would say for both of them we always knew
we had a home.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
So I think that was the biggest thing.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
They always said hey, we want you to go out in the
world, but you've always got ahome.
You can always come home.
And I think that was reallycomforting for all of my
siblings because we all werepretty independent.
None of us boomerang backed andlived at home um, but we all
knew we could if things gotreally bad.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
There's a place to go yeah, so, yeah, so it was it
was a good upbringing.

Speaker 4 (14:56):
Like I said, we uh, you know all my siblings, we all
talk about how fun it was to bea wall, you, you know.
So, yeah, it was, it was.
It was a good upbringing.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
Very cool.
I'm always curious, like so, um, like your mom the feistiness,
do you have any idea?
Where do you think she getsthat from?

Speaker 4 (15:15):
She, well, her, she's from Texas, that's where she
was born.
I think, um, all the all thewomen in that family were were
pretty feisty.
You know Southern women, theyweren't the proper, you know,
type Um, I think, and I'velearned this just from having
older sisters you know, womenare just in a different position
than we are.

(15:35):
They kind of have to fighttheir way up through things.
My mom was in sales in thelatter part of her career.
Um, she had to prove herselfright and so she just got up.
But I remember my grandparents.
They weren't feisty people, soI don't really know where she
got it, because both of hersisters, both my aunts were both

(15:56):
pretty feisty people as well.
And my granddad was extremelyquiet, very humble.
He always believed.
You know, he died when I was 18.
And I remember him saying youknow, don't give advice unless
asked.
That was his whole motto.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Love that.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
I'm not going to give advice unless asked.
That's not my job and so he wasa quiet, strong presence
whenever he was around.
But, man, you know, when youask him advice, it was pretty
deep, you know, and he took itbecause you're like, hey, he
doesn't just, you know,unabashedly give advice.
He actually is very, you know,pragmatic about it.

(16:32):
So um, so yeah, I don't knowwhere she got her advice in this
but uh, she instilled that inboth my sisters, Um, and you
know, like I said, my sistersare tough.
I mean, I'm glad I was the lastboy because my other two
brothers got beat up pretty goodby them.
You know, I he being on thetail end, I didn't get beat up
as bad, do you think so?

Speaker 3 (16:50):
McKenna was a good.
I remember McKenna was a greatsoccer player.
Do you think she gets that from?
Uh cause, michelle, maybe be a,might be a quiet feistiness in
her.
Or did she get that fromgrandma?

Speaker 4 (17:01):
Michelle's tough right.
That's why I married her.
I mean, it was really funny.
When I met her, I'm like thesecharacteristics are exactly what
I'm looking for, right a reallytough, stoic, not reactive.
She can be reactive, but not,you know, not for the most part
she tends to sort of you know,she's just really strong
individual and her parentsinstilled in her a sense of

(17:25):
value and self-worth right.

Speaker 3 (17:28):
And.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
I knew, you know she's going to be an awesome mom
, Like she'll instill that inher kids, and she did, you know,
I mean, both Taylor and McKennaare really independent people
and they're just kind of forgingtheir own trail and and
Michelle really instilled thatin them.
As far as just that, you'revaluable, right, You've got some

(17:49):
self-worth, you know.
Get out there and show theworld who you are.
Yeah, I mean, when I first metMichelle, I was like, oh boy, I
can't let this one go, becauseshe's just got everything I ever
thought.
And she's beautiful, I'm likeman.
You know how did this happen?

Speaker 3 (18:03):
So, um, so yeah, so I you know she she instilled that
in our kids as well.
That's a common thread, mostsuccessful marriages, that the
phrase we've outkicked ourcoverage, uh, you married up, um
, are you sure you got the rightguy?
Like these types ofconversations which I think, and
you know, and I would like tothink, our wives would maybe say
that about us at times.

(18:24):
Maybe they would, maybe theywouldn't, but I think, I think
that humility of your, you haveso much respect for your spouse
and you're like wow, causethere's things that like my, my
wife carried like I'd suck at,like I am not handy and I get
made fun of all the time by mybuddies and I just accept it,
cause I know that's my gap, butlike her dad is like MacGyver

(18:44):
Carrie's.
Like I I'm fairly organizedperson but she makes me look
like I'm on the C team of beingorganized, like it's it's just
next level of being organizedand it just comes like so easy
to her.

Speaker 4 (18:56):
You know they fill the gaps we don't.
We're not good at right, youknow.
So I think it's.
You know.
Yeah, I think it's outstanding.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
I think for dads, like one of the things we like,
I like to check always is my egoand like to have other dads
check their ego, and that wasthat was kind of one of the goal
, like six years ago when Istarted this thing.
It's like whether you're anexecutive at a bank or you're a
the play by play for theMariners or the play by play for
the Kraken, or you're a likeCooper cups dad I've interviewed

(19:26):
him your kids it's just like alittle teaser there Everybody at
home, like your kids, couldgive two shits, like my kids
could give two shits.
I wrote a book.
My kids could give two shits.
I'm doing what I'm doing.
Now they're like hey dad, candad, can you come rebound for me
?
Or hey dad, I'm gonna go to myboyfriend's house.
And some too often as dads, weget wrapped up in our identity,

(19:48):
tied to what we do, but itdoesn't matter.
I mean it matters to ourselfand ensure self-confidence.
But in the end, when we canremove that identity from what
we do and you're still a personwith values of humility,
feistiness, empathetic, loyal,do the right thing, hard work,
that's what is important andthat's what I'm hoping that
other dads when they listen tothese things like that's what we

(20:08):
want to be teaching our kids.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you know I mean it's, it'shard.
I remember when we were marriedno kids right.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
We even talked about like what?

Speaker 4 (20:18):
what do we want to make sure our kids come home to
Like what?
Come home to Like what do wewant to make sure we're
instilling in our kids?
And we did, you know, we didn'tknow.
You're 24, 25.
I mean, you don't have a lot ofrunway of life that you can go.
Oh, you know what?
I've got some wisdom.
I don't have any wisdom right,but you're just like, what can
we do to make sure?
And it's a balancing I, parents,and I'm like, whoa, you guys

(20:42):
have a lot of challenges for theyoung.
You know, if I had teenagersnow I'm like, oh, my word.
Now I don't know the answer,other than we were.
It's a fine line of I'm goingto hover a little bit, but I'm
going to give them freedom and Idon't want them to go too far,
to get in too much trouble.
And my gosh, I got.

(21:02):
You know what I mean.
So it's it.
I'm knock on wood.
I'm like, thank God we'rethrough that phase.
You know, I'm sure it's just asdifficult now as it was when we
were, just as our parents.
It was difficult for them toraise us and the MTV Atari
generation, yeah, I mean.
So you know, to me I'm like,whatever did.

(21:27):
It was just that rightcombination, I felt, where they
all felt like they could.
They could do stuff, notgetting too much trouble.
And you know, and like I said,it's almost like when kellen,
you know we're still kind ofkilling.
Yeah, he's our last, but stillhe's 25 and you know we're not
out of the woods, it's just it'sgonna be continuous forever,
but at least we're out of thetough teenage years and all that
stuff, right so but yeah, wedid come together before we had
kids and you know, these are thethings we want to make sure we

(21:47):
instill.
Right, and it was solid.
You know, home good core athome and parents love each other
and you know there's going tobe a little bit of discipline.
But we've got to give somefreedom, and you know this with
your two kids what worked on onedoesn't work on the other,
right?
So you think you're like, oh,now I know how to discipline.

(22:08):
Nope, that didn't work on thisone, so that isn't going to work
.
I got to figure something elseon.
And then Calvin was completelydifferent.
I mean, everything that workedon the girls didn't even come
close to him, right?
So it's just this, it's alearning process, right, and
that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
Isn't it funny how and I think and parents who are
younger parents might belistening it's like your kids
are so different but they're Imean, like riley and writer
alike in a lot of ways, likethey're sarcastic nature and
love making fun of their dad,but like from a like riley is, a
school comes super easy to herwriter had to work harder.
Writers a lot more outgoing andsocial.
Riley was a stoic, shy one.

(22:46):
You know the same person likewe.
It's not like they're.
You know we didn't didn't watcha movie where it's science and
create a girl.
It's like these are.
But it's so interesting whenyou, when you go, when they kids
grow up, how different theybecome.
But it's like it's fun tocelebrate who they become, do?

Speaker 4 (23:03):
now, let let me.
I'm going to ask you a question, because how old is Riley?

Speaker 3 (23:06):
She's she's Riley is uh, she'll be 17 in the fall.

Speaker 4 (23:11):
How are you handling the boy thing?

Speaker 3 (23:13):
It's awesome.
I mean, he is, um, he loves herso much, he's so respectful.
Every time he comes he won'tcall me Casey, calls me Mr Jay
Cox.
The very first time he came toour house I'm like you, little
mother effer, he goes, he goes.
Hey did you?
I heard you played football incollege.
Like, oh yeah, come on over,young boy, you want to watch,

(23:33):
want to see some old highlifefilms?
I'm just straight uncle Rico,but he, just he, he, uh, he
plays lacrosse.
So we actually I went andwatched him play lacrosse.
Um, he went to every one of ourbasketball games he, he wears
to.
You know, when he goes watchher play hoop, he says it says
Jaycox, super fan on it.
Oh, that's awesome, he's just agood, good, good kid and, um,

(24:05):
their parents are great, um, theonly thing I joke with him
sometimes.
So he's he's, he's from, he'sfilipino descent and I love
filipino food and I'm like, bro,can you please make it, can we
get some lumpia out of this deal?
And he doesn't like lumpia.
I'm like how is that possible?
Like, lumpia is like one of thefavorite foods of all, and so
we always kind of have thistongue-in-cheek joke.
But, um, he's, yeah, I, I wasworried about that.
You know, like how am I goingto react.

(24:26):
But you know, like, shoot, I'vebeen dating carrie since eighth
grade and, um, we just it's.
What's fun is like we've askedriley, hey, how does?
How does his name's aaron, howdoes aaron like us?
And he, um she said, oh my god,you guys make them feel so
comfortable and accepting.
And, yeah, it's, it's, it's,it's, you know it.

(24:48):
Just kind of like, when you're,when your parents get divorced,
like how are you going to makethe my, my mom and dad my dad
passed away in 2021, but mymom's still alive and when your
parents get divorced, like howare you going to make the
stepdad feel?

Speaker 1 (24:59):
You know, it's a different thing to go through.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Hello everybody, my name is Craig Coe and I'm the
Senior Vice President ofRelationship Management for
Beeline.
For more than 20 years, we'vebeen helping Fortune 1000
companies drive a competitiveadvantage with their external
workforce.
In fact, beeline's history offirst-to-market innovations has
become today's industrystandards.
I get asked all the time whatdid Casey do for your

(25:26):
organization?
And I say this it's simple.
The guy flat out gets it.
Relationships matter.
His down-to-earth presentation,his real-world experience apply
to every area of our business.
In fact, his book Win theRelationship and Not the Deal
has become required reading forall new members of the global
relationship management team.

(25:46):
If you'd like to know moreabout me or about Beeline,
please reach out to me onLinkedIn.
And if you don't know CaseyJaycox, go to CaseyJaycoxcom and
learn more about how he canhelp your organization.
Now let's get back to today'sepisode.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Well, as you reflect on growing up, before we get
into some other stuff, as youreflect on growing up.
Well, as you, as you reflect ongrowing up, before we get into
some other stuff.
As you reflect on growing up, Imean some really good themes
that dads can be thinking about,like creating, creating
families where your kids arefeisty, they're tough, they're,
they're humble, they're notgoing to go bragging Like, I
think, your grandpa, like, ifyou want to, if you want advice,
I'll give it to you, but I'mnot going to just do it on my
own.
I you can talk about.

(26:24):
Is there a story of any ofthose like skills that you were
taught that come to mind?
That that might reflect on howthat really got cemented in to
your mind?

Speaker 4 (26:37):
Yeah, the one that comes to mind.
This is so my dad.
Again, he was all about youknow, if you work hard right,
you're going to get rewarded.
You know, do things right thefirst time so you don't have to
do them again.
Don't cut corners, he said,especially if people see you
cutting corners, what are theythinking when they can't see you

(26:58):
?
So he was like don't be cuttingcorners, because that's just
going to show people that maybewhen you're not being seen,
you're even doing nothing.
So, great story.
He hired me and one of mybuddies, who's still one of my
closest friends to this day, toclean up our backyard, and our
backyard in Fairwood you knowwhere Fairwood's at was all

(27:19):
woods.
And so he's like look, I wantyou guys, I'll pay you whatever
$100.
You know, this is back in 1984,maybe.
And he's like I want you guysto rake up, you know, all of the
dead, everything, dead branches, leaves, all that stuff, rake
it all up into big piles.
There's a little bit of barkI'm going to have you spread out
there.
You know it's an all day, maybeday and a half long job.

(27:41):
So of course I, you know, Ikick back and let my buddy do
all the work.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
Right, so he's in my buddy's house.
You're a superintendent.
Oh, totally, and he's a hardworker.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
Right, so he so.
So I don't know, my dad eveneven is watching all of this,
but you know, we finish up andhe comes out and he gives me a
20 and he gives him an 80 and hegoes good job, you guys goes.
Good job, joe.
He goes, joe.
Good job, joe.
You did a lot of work, chad.
I'm not sure what you reallydid, but anyway, there's your 20
.
And I was like, oh my word,yeah, he saw the whole thing and

(28:16):
so it just.
You know everything he had said, he lived up to it and he kind
of proved it to me, like look,man, if you're not going to work
hard and you're not going to dothings, then you're not going
to get paid for it, so I usethat story because it just
highlighted, you know just howhe was as far as making sure
that I was still alive, and youknow and I love that too,

(28:37):
because theymy parents also you know, the
first thing is like look, I gotyour back.
But you know, if you get introuble, I got to know the other
side of the story.
I'm not going to come up withguns ablaze and just defending
you.
I got your back, know that.
But I need to know the otherside of the story before I you
know.
I mean because there is, theremight be some to blame for me.

(28:57):
And this is one of thoseinstances where he's like I
ain't got your back on this oneman, you didn't, you did not do
what I wanted you to do, and sotherefore he taught me a good
lesson it was it was.
It was a good lesson.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
That's a great.
That's a great story.
You made me think I, um my dad,hired us a couple of times for
that type of work.
Sometimes we did a good job,sometimes we did it.
We did not so good job, um, butI remember like one time I
think I've told a story beforeon podcast.
For those that haven't heard it, it's um, you remember papa?
Well, papa, was it papamurphy's, not papa aldo's, papa
murphy's not?
right, papa aldo's, now it'spapa murphy's back in the day,

(29:35):
so I worked at papa aldo's inhigh school okay and this is
where my parents taught me thepower of like, telling the truth
and being honest, and I mean,and they followed through.
It was painful.
So I remember I was remember Ihad like 738 jobs in high school
.
I pretty much worked at everyplace up in Fairwood Just own
the place.
My resume is like 38 pages long.
And I remember I worked atPop-Halls for like maybe three

(30:00):
months, two months, and my buddywas turning 16 and I wanted to
go to his party.
But I had to work and there was,like me and three other guys,
three other people got scheduledon a Sunday.
And in my mind back I'm likehey, no one comes into this
place, You're going to Shakey's,You're not going to pop all
those.
That was my immature punk kidattitude.
And it's Sunday, why do we havefour people working?

(30:21):
What a waste of money.
And so I go to the boss.
So I go to the boss, I go hey,boss, I see you at work on
Sunday.
My friend's at his 60thbirthday party.
It's a big weekend thing.
Can I switch a shift?
Please have it off.
No, I'm going to need you tocome in on Sunday.
So now I'm like okay, how can Iget out of this.
So I quickly decide to not tellthe truth and go into story

(30:41):
mode and I'm like, ah, weirdtiming.
I have a family reunion God theodds.
So I go back in two days later.
God you know you're never goingto believe it.
Boss, I got a family reunionand I can't come in.
My mom says I really got to, Igot to be there, you know.
Well, not, you know, not justbeing an idiot 16 year old kid.
What I don't realize is thatthe boss is going to call my mom

(31:04):
.
Hey, I understand, you guyshave a family reunion.
You know, sorry, Casey cantotally have the day off and
mom's like what?
And she's like he doesn't havea family reunion.
And you, whatever you need todo, you can do it.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
So I go to work next day and, um, he's like, hey,
casey, you excited for yourfamily reunion.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, it'sgoing to be great to see a lot
of cousins.
I just completely buy into thelie.
He's like are you sure?
Because I talked to your momand she wasn't quite so sure,

(31:41):
and it was.
I mean, if there was Dependsback then I wish I had him on
because it was almost a completeGot shit-cammed.
But I'm 49 years old.
I still remember that story.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Great lesson.

Speaker 3 (31:55):
I mean, you know, sometimes and you know this.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
failure is a great lesson teacher.
I mean it really is, whensomething like that happens.
Never happen again, no Right.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
No 100%.

Speaker 4 (32:09):
What a time to do it when you're what?
16, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
I mean, that would be a horrible if it happened when
you're 30 or 35 yeah you'relearning that lesson so maybe if
if anybody, papa murphy's, islistening you're looking to
sponsor a podcast about you knowsupporting dads and being you
know ethics, and Come on board.
We'd love to have you oh boy.
Okay, so I well, what's it liketo have a daughter who is

(32:38):
married a I mean a guy thatreally didn't do much in school?
I mean Harvard, the Air Force,what a God.

Speaker 4 (32:44):
Yeah, you know what man I got?
Well, she married like her dad.
I'm just kidding, she did notmarry like her dad.
I'm like you know, you marriedlike your dad.
She's like no, no, yeah, otherthan he.
He, I'm a process driven guy.
He's a process driven guy, Imean, but he's at a different
level.
He, um, so this was my, youknow when he he actually asked

(33:09):
if he could date my daughter.
Okay.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Who does?

Speaker 4 (33:13):
that, by the way he comes in, he's like Mr Wall, I
got to talk to you.
I go yeah, I want to havepermission to date your daughter
.
I was like what are we in the?
What are we in the fifties?
I'm like I'm Mr Cleaver here.
I'm like what are you doing?
I'm like I'm Mr Cleaver here.
I'm like what are you doing?
I'm like of course you can.
And I said but and this is thetruth I said but I mean, do you
want to date her?
She's pretty, she can be prettydifficult, you know.

(33:35):
And he's like oh no, I I toldyou.
And I'm like okay, so you knowthey they, they dated and they
had a little breakup there incollege and and.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
I tried.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
I didn't.
I mean, he's a great kid, right.
But I'm like, look, if it's notgoing to work out, it's not
going to work out.
That's just what happens.
And my daughter took that thatI didn't like him, like I didn't
want them to get married orsomething I don't know.
She's upset, like she's likeyou don't think I should love
Todd and I'm like, no, no, no,that's not force academy.
He's got a lot of pressures,you know, um, anyway, and then

(34:07):
they ended up getting backtogether and you know, and the
rest is history.
But he, uh, yeah air forceacademy graduate he was?
he won't tell us because he'shumble.
He had to have been in the topof his class because they sent
five, four or five kids off to,I believe, and they paid for it.
So they, they sent him off toharvard and he got his master's
in public policy and that tooktwo years.

(34:29):
Then, once he graduated fromHarvard, he got married and then
they moved to Texas.
That's when he got enrolled inthe.
It's called the NJEP program.
It's a NATO program, but it'sfor the top tier pilots.
Then if you filter out andyou're in the top, you get the
best planes.
And he got the best plane.
I mean he got the top plane inthe in the, I'd say in the

(34:51):
military that we have.
It's the F-22 Raptor, it'sstealth, it's extremely
complicated plane.
And yeah, he's, he's flyingthat thing.
And I mean and I'm a planejunkie, Like I love did marry a
little bit.
She married that.
What would dad wish he could beguy, right, I mean there's no
doubt.
And I I try to extrapolatestuff from him Like, hey, man,

(35:13):
have you been on the Russianborder yet?
You know kind of buzzing aroundand he won't tell me.
I'm like, come on, man.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
Let me, let me live through you, yeah.

Speaker 4 (35:22):
But, he's a amazing kid and yeah, she.
You know, like I said, it's I'mblessed.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
I didn't, I couldn't have asked you know for anything
anything more you know, uniqueand better than this kid and do
you think he chose Harvardbecause Central and Montana
might have been too big of achallenge?

Speaker 4 (35:40):
oh, you want to hear something really sad.
He's a wazoo fan really I, I'mlike dude you went to Air Force
and Harvard and you're rootingfor the Cougs which I don't
think it's the Cougs, but I'mlike come on Now.
You know, my daughter went toUW, right, so you've got the
Cougar Husky Broward going on,so yeah isn't that funny

(36:15):
no-transcript.
A fighter pilot at a party?
They'll tell you.
They tell you, right, yeah, butbut my son-in-law won't tell
you.
Like he'll be at a party andman, nobody knows what that kid
does.
And I'm like he realizedthere's only 140 F-22 pilots.
I'm like it's a rare breed, youknow.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Love it.
Well, your feisty mom would beproud knowing that we have a
humble kid.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
I know I wish she would have been around to see
all this.
That is the one disadvantage ofbeing the last of five.
Right, your parents are olderand so, yeah, they got to see my
older siblings' kids a lot morethan mine, but what they did
see was pretty cool.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Well, good job, taylor.
Well, I also want to give loveto McKenna, because when I first
started my entrepreneurialjourney that I did not mean to
start, remember McKenna wassuper helpful in kind of doing
some like video.
I don't even know if you knowthat she like did a couple of
videos for me in the verybeginning.
Oh, yeah, yeah, it might havebeen when she was still at Boise
State.
What did she graduate four orfive years ago?

(37:23):
Yeah, yeah.
So it was probably right whenshe was done or getting out, and
I remember, I remember how Ifound out she did that, but like
, yeah, super, it was great,help me out and um, that's just
that's cool, that that you knowshe's one of your kids are doing
things that they want to do, um, all unique, all different.
But you know, it's like whenyou find something you're

(37:44):
passionate about and then youcan go do it, it's like what a,
what a gift and what a, what agreat feeling as parents that
must be for you guys yeah, andmckenna, I mean mckenna is a
cool human being, right, andyou've heard me say she's just a
really cool person.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
I mean I always say all the kids, she teaches me,
right, more about life.
I mean then I can get anywhereelse.
She's just she's, she'sinquisitive, she's smart, she's
got an old soul, she's just areally great person.
You know, and when you and youknow her but I watch when people
talk to her they just gravitateto her.

(38:19):
She's not like the life of theparty, she's not the one sitting
in the corner, she's just theone that's in the middle.
She's a listener, you knowshe's.
She's extremely, I mean,engaging.
I mean she's just, she's areally cool person, you know.
And again, I I always say man,she, she teaches me more about
life.
You know she's what 26, youknow and um, and so she's kind

(38:41):
of a teacher in that aspect andjust and again, really, really
humble, you know, and it'sawesome.
Tough, I mean she played, youknow premier, and tough I mean
she played, you know, premiersoccer.
She was being looked at bycolleges and I kept telling her
I go look any year you decideyou don't want to play anymore.
You just gotta let me know Igot you know I got your support
and she also academically wasjust really high and that she

(39:02):
got a scholarship to Boise state.
That was phenomenal, betterthan any athletic scholarship.
It was academic and you know.
But and when she decided I'mnot going to play soccer, I'm
like then you can go whereveryou want.
And Boise State was it becausethe whole outdoorsy thing and I
mean it's amazing that they'redoing what they want to do.
You know, even Kellen, I meanhe wanted to be a rock star.
He just didn't.

(39:22):
He just didn't think it wasrealistic.
He just didn't think it wasrealistic, right?
Yeah, this whole thing was likeit's a drag, like why would I
do?
Why would I go, you know 10years and try to be a rock star
and I'm doing nothing, you knowright?
Um?
So for him, it's just it's awhole thing of kind of kind of
luck.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's just preparationmeets opportunity that's it.

(39:43):
And it's like you know he wasjust in the right spot at the
right time for now and you knowthat could end.
I, I and I was telling he'ssuper cool about it too.
I'm like dude, this could end.
But if it does, think about theride you've been on right, he's
been in studios where the beachboys, you know, made their best
album.
He had chris stapleton's pianoplayer on the song 66.

(40:05):
He had leon bridges steelguitar player on one of his
songs.
I mean his exposure and whathe's been doing.
I'm just like you don't haveany people wishing at this right
.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
So Well, let's, let's make sure.
So I know about the band, I'm afan, Great music it's.
I always come to describe it.
It I always come to describeit's like Americana with singer,
songwriter, with country, witha little bit of Johnny be good
fast guitar with.
I mean, it's just such a mix,but like, maybe just as a dad,

(40:37):
because I think it could bereally easy for a parent to say
no, you're not going to go be africking, go go work at Google
or go get a job at Microsoft,You're not doing that.
How did you and Michelle havethe patience to say go live your
dreams, go do it.

Speaker 4 (40:52):
It happened fast.
This management company thatdecided to pick them up.
I had them vetted through a lawfirm that we, that we bank in
the private bank, so I was ableto get a little bit more Intel
to where, you know, is thislegitimate.
And again, the managementcompany he's with has kind of

(41:13):
fronted a lot of the investmentwhich most people wouldn't Right
.
So that's where it becamereally different was you've got
a support system that's actuallygoing to take this much more
rapidly than most people wouldgo down that path, and and so we
just sat back and said, okay,um, our job at this point is

(41:35):
just to help navigate him, tonot get into trouble, right, and
that's what we've done.
And so you know we've, we'vehelped.
I stepped in and I didn't wantto be that dad of like, oh you
know, I'm coming in.
But I called the manager andyou know because of my line of
work, and I'm like, hey look.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
I'm going to help these guys with their finances.

Speaker 4 (41:57):
And I could tell he was like oh, here comes a parent
trying to push themselves in.
I go, look, I don't know yourbusiness, I want nothing to do
with your business.
I just want to teach theseyoung men how to handle money,
because they actually overdrewtheir account the first week
they had it by going to, likesub shops and liquor stores I'm
not kidding you.
So I'm like they don't get itright.
They're musicians.

(42:17):
I said so let me help them onthe financial side of it.
And then when they get to asize where I can't help, you
know, I'll give you guys all theinformation.
And he was cool with that.
So I actually helped him withtheir finances.
But and Michelle, she probablytalks.
I mean, she talks to our kidsalmost every day, you know, and

(42:38):
I know you do too, right, I meanit's just that.
So she's always kind of in themiddle of what's going on and I
listened to her and she's sopatient Like she's.
We've we've kind of gone fromparenting to sort of friend
parenting.
Right, we're not telling themwhat to do anymore, we're just
sort of guiding them and thatwe've learned that works.

(43:02):
I mean, in fact, when they weredrew his account, I I called him
up and he didn't actuallyoverdraw, drew it.
There was just a bunch of holdson there because they were
driving down to Beverly Hillsand they were stopping to get
gas and blah, blah, blah.
And I told him.
I said I said you know, becauseI talked to him right before
that happened.
And I said I told you not to.
You know, overdraw it, becareful, he goes.
Well, you didn't tell us.
I said I didn't quite directlytell you because you're 25 year

(43:25):
old men.
And then I hear his buddy inthe background go, just tell us
what the hell to do, man.
I go, don't use this account,let it build up, you know.
So, but that's kind of the wayMichelle is, she sort of she
really guides them, not with,like you know, persistent
parenting, it's just more oflike hey, you know, I've thought
of this.
So you know, with him we got towatch that, right, it's, it's

(43:45):
an industry that he's alreadybeen exposed to, some things
where we're just kind of likeyou know, and and um, I had a
conversation with him and I'vehad two of these.
I call them life-alteringconversations.
I've had two with him now, rightand one was right at the
beginning of his college lifewhere he was sort of not knowing
what to do and I said, hey, son, we're gonna have a
life-altering conversation.

(44:06):
He's like, okay, I'm like thereason what happens is because
it's kind of a pivot point,right.
Um, this is when he was sort ofstruggling with what am I gonna
do in college and I said, uh,here's the deal.
Your mom and I are gonna investin you for sure, and the college
he was going to at the time hegot he had a music scholarship.
I'm like they're investing inyou.
You may not feel like peopleare investing in me, but they

(44:27):
are.
And I said, but the investmentis going to end about 21, 22
years old.
I'm like now I want to see areturn on that investment.
Right, I want to see you getout there in the world.
I said so.
If you think you're going to,you know, sit around and not,
you know, accelerate yourselfthrough college.
You know, 21, 22, I'm going to.

(44:47):
I'm going to politely ask youto leave.
Right, You're going to have togo out in the world and do
something.
So that was one.
The second one was recently,when I said, okay, you're,
you're going down this musicpath.
What's the most important thingright now in your, in your
journey of life?
And he said, no-transcript, getaway from it.

(45:15):
I'm like you got to step outand you need to look at it and
say I'm not doing that.
Right, If you've got agirlfriend who says, oh, I don't
want you to go to the Eastcoast, that's impeding.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Let's still love story that.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
You know, it's like a Disney love story you need to
step back and go, hmm, andthat's impeding on what on?
It doesn't matter if anythinggets in your way of that goal,
you need to have the collectiveability to step back and say I'm
going to separate myself fromthat.
So, and so you know we're kindof guiding them down that path,

(45:47):
cause it's a yeah, it's a littlebit scarier Sure.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
So if you were to like think about all your kids,
if there was like one or two oryou know um values that you and
michelle taught them that hashit home the most for them, tell
me what comes to me.

Speaker 4 (46:10):
I would say definitely, and two or three
would probably be a good number,I think.
Humility and empathy, they allhave it.
I mean, when you, when youagain, when I watch them just
interact with people, they arelisteners, right, they're not
the, they're not the ones thatare controlling the conversation
, and I watched and I and I, andI witnessed it.

(46:32):
It's awesome to see, right,they're very good listeners.
They're extreme, extremely uh,empathetic, um, uh, and.
And then the other one is thatthey're, they're strong people
like you know they're, they'renot going to get taken advantage
of, um, and that's frommichelle, I mean, she just
instilled them of, like, youknow what, you know, if you're

(46:52):
this kind of a person, be, bepassionate, be advocate, but
don't get pushed around either,right, I mean, it's it, it's,
it's easy, but to recognize, youknow, when somebody might be
taking advantage of you, but butalso be empathetic and humble
and helpful, right, so, um, youknow, I I'd say those are kind
of the, the three things, andand I can say that now because
I'm seeing them as adults andI'm watching them and I'm like,

(47:16):
oh is who, they are right, andthat has to be from, kind of
what we had guardrails aroundand the way we sort of did
things um, so that's cool.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
A lot of the things you've shared, I mean it goes
back to your parents yeah, yeahwell, again michelle's, I think
her parents.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
They were a little more I'd traditional, but her
dad and her dad just passed away, actually in January, her dad
was, um made her feel like shewas extremely valuable, like she
had self-worth, right.
He instilled in thatwholeheartedly, so she always
felt like she was important,right.
And I've got something to say,um.

(47:56):
So you know they, they did agreat job as far as giving her,
you know, those attributes and Iguess when, luckily, we get
together, you know, when we gottogether, it just sort of those
two or two or three or fourthings kind of came out.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
Yeah, that's awesome If, as you reflect back now, you
got kids out of the house,you're an MPNS for now for a few
years.
One question I always likeasking dads is like if you, if
you do, like for you to reflectback on your dad game and say,
man, if I could, if I can, goback and do a couple of these
things over, I would have beenmore of this or less of this
that maybe a younger dad canlearn from, from from you and I

(48:43):
and I'll, and when I'll go firstto make it easy on the guests
here, patience is, as acompetitive person, I have to
always, and just having thispodcast my patience has gotten
better just because I'm talkingabout so much.
But, like for you, tell me,tell me what scenario your dad
game, that maybe, even maybe itwasn't always where you wanted
it to be that you've worked onto get better.
That might speak to another dadat home.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
Uh, I would say, um, you know, I don't know if this
is recurring from a lot of thedads being more involved.
I think so it was easy becausewe decided that Michelle was
going to be a stay-at-home mom.
It was easy for me to kind of,you know, go to work and do my
thing and just know that she'sinvolved, she knows what's going

(49:17):
on, I can hear it from her.
The kids actually want to hearit from you, like they want you
to go hey, how are you doing?
You know what's going on inyour world, as opposed to just
hearing it from Michelle, right?
So I think if I would say it'seasy to kind of get you know
your especially dads- I get it.
You know moms and dads differentpressures, right, I mean, you

(49:41):
know, especially with astay-at-home wife, you know I
income's all on me, right, I gotto make sure we got making
money to support the family andyou know whatever I got to do to
make that happen.
That's, that's a lot of work.
And you get home and there'syard work to do and there's, you
know, you got to date your wifeand I mean there's, you know,
and wives have the same pressure, just different segments of it.
It's easy to go, hey, so howare the kids?

(50:04):
And just get it all from yourwife, as opposed to going to the
kids and saying, hey, how areyou guys doing Like, I want to
know what you're doingspecifically, and I've actually
learned that now and as a, asthey're adults, you know,
michelle's even said they lovehearing from you directly.
Even though you get all thestory from me of what's going on
in their lives, they still loveto just say, hey, dad called.

(50:26):
So I would say that you know in,you know, don't feel bad,
because I mean you're, you're aninvolved dad.
Right, I'm an involved dad, butthere's just always a little
tweak.
You'd be like oh man, I got alittle lazy where I just let
michelle tell me what's going onand didn't go straight to the
kids and and just kind of spendmore time in that aspect that's
what I would say, if I look back, I'd say that's probably, uh,

(50:48):
the one thing I wish I wouldhave done.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
You know, yep, yeah, no, it speaks, because there's
been a lot of episodes on dadsaying, like, more present, put
the phone down, um, you and Ithink it's easy to like as if
you are the sole, you know,income driver of the family.
It's easy to be in 1926.
You know, get some food on thattable.

(51:12):
Like what's not reality.
And I think fatherhood's changedso much over the years, like I
know, I'm sure, like when yougrew up, or like at least when I
grew up, there wasn't a lot oflike, my, like, um, like the,
the power of, like,vulnerability and like that's
like a, I think, a strength.
Now I think, but back in the,when my dad was in the forties,

(51:33):
he'd be like what you'd be.
You would have called a, getcalled a wuss.
You're doing that stuff.
You would have called a, getcalled a wuss.
Doing that stuff, you know,show weakness, which I think is
the exact opposite.
So so much has changed, I think, as as dads, and I think it's
it's cool that you know there'smore stay at home dads now than
and then there's women working,which I think is awesome.
I think it's a great examplefor our daughters to see that,

(51:53):
hey, just because you're not adude doesn't mean you can't go
be the next fricking owner ofthe Seattle store.
Why not?
Why not you?
Someone's going?

Speaker 4 (52:00):
to do it.
I would say Michelle could havebeen a CEO.
She could have been, and I toldher that even now I'm like if
we would have gone, I stay athome and you go out in the world
, you would have become a CEO ofsomething.
That's just how she's driven um, but again, she was phenomenal
here, right, and that helped me,give me the ability to do what

(52:23):
I need to do, uh, to make surethat you know I was doing my
part.
But, um, yeah, I mean, it'stotal teamwork, right, and you
know what it's like you guyshave been together for how long?
eight, eighth grade, yeah, soI'm 49.
We met when we were 13.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
that's 40.
Okay, 41, no, so I'm 49.
We met when we were 13.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
That's 40.
41.
No, my math isn't, isn't 31.

Speaker 3 (52:42):
So yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:43):
That's a long time.

Speaker 3 (52:44):
Yeah, it's crazy, yeah, and when you get to know
somebody, like that.

Speaker 4 (52:47):
I mean you, you sort of have a, an unconscious dance
with them in life.
I don't know, you know, I don'tknow if you sense that, but we
do.
We talk about it all the time.
We're funny how we just havethis unconscious dance that
we're constantly doing becausewe know each other so well.
We just kind of maneuverthrough things.
Sometimes I'm saying it, butthen we'll get together and go
oh yeah, I'm glad you did that,because I was thinking that's

(53:10):
what I wanted you to do.
I mean, it's funny how we'vebeen together for so long.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
You read the defense Yep, um, okay.
So if you were to summarize, um, well, I want to make sure
people learn we got, we got andand hopefully at the end of this
episode, everybody we're goingto, we're going to try to like
tease you with um, um, one of myfavorite songs by Marfa, so we
can kind of get the, the, their,their name out there and uh, so

(53:37):
we'll make sure.
So stick around at the end ofthis episode and listen to the
song and and hopefully you'llshare this episode with a dad or
mom or anybody who's eitherimpacted by our conversation.
You think that can help someonein wherever they're at in their
phase of life.
But if you were to summarize,chat, everything we've talked
about, the dads can take maybetwo or three actionable, call it
piece of advice they can applyin their own life to become that

(53:59):
better ultimate quarterback orleader of their home.
Tell me what comes to mind.

Speaker 4 (54:04):
Well, you've probably heard this from other dads.
I mean right, I mean bedeliberately present, and
there's a difference betweenbeing present and deliberately
present.
Right, like that Deliberatelypresent is I am, am I am
interested in what you're, inwhat you're doing and who.
You are.
Right, take that interest andand make them feel, um, no

(54:30):
matter what they're doing, rightin my opinion, they're valuable
.
You know, and again, I you knowI look at my kids and we never
discourage them.
We may have like been well,maybe not, but we didn't.
We never made them feel like,oh, that's not attainable.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
We may not like it but it's not attainable.

Speaker 4 (54:48):
If you like it, right , so kind of giving them that
value Right.
And then you know, I think inthis day and age and I think
it's helped us a lot Telling ourkids like, understand the other
side, that's really important.
Right, understand the otherside of that story.
It's amazing, the more you'reeducated, how convicted you

(55:11):
really become in what youbelieve in, you know and it so
we.
I think, if you ask my kidslike, hey, you know what, you
know, what are the things momand dad try to teach us?
I think it was.
It was those three things.
It was you know, self-worth,empathetic and and, uh, you know
, just understanding, you knowall sides of the story and um

(55:32):
and self-worth, I think, but uh,yeah, I mean that that's that's
what I would try to encourage,but, like I said, being
deliberately present.
That's kind of where it starts,in my opinion.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
Love it Gold.
I love the phrase deliberatelypresent.
No one's ever said that,Because it's easy to say you're
present.
But like deliberately presentmeans my phone's down, my
notifications are off.
I'm looking at you in the eye.
I'm asking follow-up questions.
Actually, I heard a guy speak.
Um, I, actually I heard a guyspeak again.
I'm Ryan leak.
He said he asked a question tothe audience and he wrote about
in his book.
But it says what's it like tobe on the other side of me?

Speaker 4 (56:06):
Yeah, yeah, powerful question.
That's a really good question.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
And even like we talk about two sides, I always think
there's three sides your side,my side and the truth.
You know there's somewhere, um,cause it's easy to be that
either we want to be the hero orthe victim of our own story,
but like the truth lies there inthe middle some way.
But, um, I, I really and I meanit came back from, I'm sure,
michelle's parents and yourparents and then you guys have
taught that to your kids aboutbut there is another side and

(56:30):
there is a perspective, and so,like having curiosity and having
the benefit of the doubt,learning about other
perspectives, cause it doesn'tmean you're right, Right, you
know Right.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
Well, and some of the stuff you talk about, man, I'm
like it's spot on.
I mean you've, you know you're,you're saying all the things.
Be curious, be a good listener,right, understand.
I mean it's all good stuff and,honestly, if, if better version
of yourself, You're alwaysworking on becoming a better
version of yourself, what doesthat mean?

(57:01):
Well, you're able to assess,right, well, where are my
shortcomings, you know, and ifit's important for me to work on
those shortcomings, to be abetter version of me, then I'm
going to work on it.
You know, there's some people,you know this, you've seen
people.
I mean there's people who don'tcare about being a better
version of themselves.
They are who they are, which isfine.
But again, in our kids, they'realways like, no, I can be a

(57:24):
better, I can be more patient, Ican be a better listener, I can
be a better partner, whateverit is, it's just becoming that
and then being able to dosomething about it.
I think that's important.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
Love it, all right.
Well, it's now time to go intothe lightning round, where I
show you the negative hits oftaking too many hits in college
not bong hits, but football hits.
Your job yeah, your job is toanswer these questions as
quickly as you can, and my jobis to get a giggle out of you.
All right?
All right, let's get our gameface on.
Are you ready?
Okay, true or false, youinstalled and built the smoker's

(58:00):
cage at Kentridge.

Speaker 4 (58:07):
Man, that's good.
No, it's false.
One of my buddies actually hungout there a couple of times.
We were like what are?

Speaker 3 (58:10):
you doing man.
So I just already laughed.
You got a giggle.
We'll call that tight True orfalse.
I mean, that is a true story.
Everybody in our high school,when I was a sophomore in 1991,
there was a full-on cage Likethink about a wrestling cage
where people could go smoke onschool in campus.
True story.

Speaker 4 (58:24):
I tell our kids that and they're like what I'm like,
yeah, Can you imagine that, Canyou?

Speaker 3 (58:29):
imagine sending hey, Taylor, did you get your turkey
cheese?
You got your super sip and yougot your marbles, you got your
smokes.

Speaker 4 (58:35):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
Wow, that's a good question man, that's a great
question.
Okay.
Well, true or false, youattended Montana on a wrestling
scholarship.
False, false, okay.
If we went into your phoneright now, what would be one
song or genre of music thatmight surprise your kids?

Speaker 4 (58:58):
Oh, I don't know if I much surprise them, um, I, I
think they did get their musicalum exposure from me because I I
love music.
Uh, they know I love likesinger, songwriter and folky,
right, um, but I'm also a direstraits fan, right, which I know
that it that doesn't quite gointo that genre, but man do.

(59:19):
I love a good mark knopfler anddire straits and uh, and my
kids know that, you know I, butthat would probably surprise
most people you know what wouldbe how?

Speaker 3 (59:30):
about what would be one song or genre music that
might surprise your fellowcolleagues at us bank?

Speaker 4 (59:36):
would be it, cause they all know that I like the
Kellen music, right, folk?
You know that kind of AmericanaI mean, I'm a big fan of
lumineers, I'm a big fan of headand heart.
That's who they're going to.
You know they're going to tourwith so you know, I'm a fan of
that kind of David Gray um, yeah, and when I?

(01:00:00):
Throw in dire straits.
They're like wait what?
And then they're like oh, youlike tom petty I'm like no, I
don't like tom petty at all.
I know it's the same genre, butit's just dire straits man.
There's just something aboutthat's your jam and here's the
thing.
Uh, one of their songs, marthasongs.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
I think it's um.
I think it's daisy.
I love daisy.
It's a good song very direstraits sounding.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
In fact, when they released, I called to kill him.
I go, hey, man, I go.
He goes Dire Straits, I go,awesome, I go.
I can hear it, you know let'sgo yeah.
So that would definitelysurprise Surprising.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
Favorite comedy movie of all time is.

Speaker 4 (01:00:36):
It's got to be, um, it's got to be.
Well, I got so many um anything.
Jim carrey-ish, right, uh, butthe other guys is probably at
the top of the list, so I don'tknow but mark walberg and and
will ferrell solid, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
Um, if I came to your house for dinner tonight, what
would we have?

Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
pizza.
That sounds horrible.
I'm a horrible eater man.
Pizza is my, my go eater man.
Pizza is my my go-to especiallyon Friday nights.
It's my go-to.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
That sounds.
I'm going to try to convincethat, Riley.
I can easily convince Carrie.
She might not want to do that,but I'm gonna try to convince
her.

Speaker 4 (01:01:10):
Michelle would want.
She'd want to, like you know,barbecue something.
Make quinoa salad.

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
I mean, she's an awesome chef Right, and I'm like
it's Friday, let's do Frankie'sRight, so Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:01:24):
If there was to be a book written about your life,
tell me the title he got lucky.

Speaker 3 (01:01:27):
Okay, now Chad.
He got lucky.
I went to Barnes and Noble soldout.
I went to Amazon can't printenough copies going so fast and
I was traveling recently at theairport.
That's all gone too.
So Netflix has found out about.
He got lucky and now they'regoing to make a movie.
You are the casting directorand you can't start yourself.
You need to find, you need totell me who's going to start
Chad Wall in this criticallyacclaimed, hit new movie.

Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
He got lucky oh, man from well, yeah, I mean Greg
Kinnear okay, you kind of looklike him yeah, yeah, I've been
told that, and you know, I likehis, I like his demeanor, oh, my
gosh.

Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
You know he's pretty.
Yeah, Good poll.
I didn't see it until you saidthat I thought you were going to
say Richard Pryor, which I'mglad you said.

Speaker 4 (01:02:10):
Gene Wilder.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:02:21):
And last and most most important question tell me
two words that would describemichelle um soulmate.
Geez, I mean, that's firstthing that came to mind.
How's?

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
that sorry, I mean probably, she said that one word
.

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
I could be but um soulmate and let's see the
soulmate and uh and strongsoulmate and strong boom
lighting rounds over.
I think I giggled more of mymost at my own jokes, which is
usually a testament to my my dadmaturity skills.
I laughed at all of my jokes.
As long as you get one laugh,you keep telling jokes.
I tell my kids that, dude, it'sbeen an absolute blast getting

(01:02:47):
to know you better.
I'm grateful for the time youspent with me.
I'm grateful for the lesson Iwould say the example you've set
for other parents of this.
You, andelle, have really donea really good job creating good
human beings, and I'm excited tospread the, the, the gospel of
marfa.
Everybody they're.
They're a, a band that is goingto do great, great things.

(01:03:08):
Um, if you like music, makesure you check them out and
stick around for for them as welisten to one of their, one of
their songs and um, but if you,if you like this episode, it's
touched you.
Please share it with someoneelse and continue to leave us
reviews wherever you consumethese podcasts, because that
gets other dads to listen andallows us to impact other dads
and improve their leadershipskills in the home.
But, brother, I appreciate yourtime and thank you again for

(01:03:31):
spending time with me today oh,you bet man.
Thanks, I appreciate it well, aspromised everybody here is
Marfa and the song called 66.
I hope you enjoy.
I hope you share it with othersand let's continue to help Chad
and his son get the band Marfaout into the universe.
Great young group.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
And here you go.
I take her down to Houston andthen New Orleans.
She's yelling out to me that'stoo far east.
I turn around just to head backwest and before you know it
she's my Texas best.

Speaker 3 (01:04:22):
I got my baby on the 66.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
There's a Trans Am tailing me to Texarkana A real
cowboy by the name of Bandit.
I tip my hat.
Do me keep on moving.
Black top, back shots.
Rhythm and blues.
I got my hat.
Do me keep on moving.
Black top, black shots,brueggemann blues.
I got my baby on the 66.
Baby show it at Casino Reno.
Nevada girls love to dance anddo the hat.

(01:04:52):
California girls are automaticFoot to the floor.

(01:05:19):
I've got a happy.
Yeah.
I'm pulling court playing witha Colt .45.
I'm getting in a river just toget out of line.
Ocean 85 in Colorado.
Right when a deer took both myheadlights.
I got my baby on the 66.

(01:05:40):
I'll see you next time.
California goods are automaticFoot to the floor.

(01:06:24):
I've got to have it.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I made it in Torino in acouple of pieces.
Now I'm California's good boy.
Bad boy, beach boy, turn aroundjust to head back.
East Salt, flat salt lake,soaking in peace.
I had my baby on the 66.

(01:06:45):
I had my baby on the 66.